“I am a mermaid, that means I can’t drown” honestly makes so much sense in the mind of a child, like, it just makes sense. That desire for safety and security is so understandable. At first I didn’t get the idea of non-human alters, but something like this makes so much sense. Thank you so much for sharing this
another example of a different kind of nonhuman alter would be one of ours! we have a tree alter (several actually, but this one's just about birch) and she was made to handle bullying and stress in early school years. we've always had a very strong attachment to plants and the natural world, and our best theory for how birch was created from the memories we've collected was very much "if i don't move they'll ignore me", "stay quiet and still", "i'm tough like wood", and "breathe slow and deep" (thank you grandma, for "tree breaths"). she started as simply someone who could withstand the stress and harm, but has grown over the years to do various things such as hold trauma memories and allow us to ground in a calm manner. she feels and thinks, but fairly slowly. birch is thoroughly loved in our system and always willing to listen to others' troubles, and being the closest to the center of everything she even gets decorated seasonally to keep her spirits up. 💛
@@yippeeflowers This made us feel so safe?? Thanks to Birch. She's amazing and we see her and all the hard work she's done 💚 It doesn't all have to be so hard and complex. Ty. Really. -Ben
Chills running down my spine. Murmer might be soft spoken and gentle sounding, but something about her stillness and the way she so seemingly efortlessly speaks about the horrible trauma and those who caused it. So powerfull. You can clearly see she is influenced by both Jade and Sally. Sending nothing but love to Murmer.
@@saberbyte3989 I had a pretty brutal therapy session, so I had been all cried out at the moment. Pretty bad when you're all cried out and you feel like crying but there's nothing THERE.
i had a lot of childhood trauma, but nothing on an extreme level, even it was enough to leave permanent scars. but the worst abuse i experienced was as an adult, and he twsited what he knew of my childhood and youth into believing it was exculsively my fault and that i was doing deliberate evil. the abuse started on a spiritual level, but when it culminated into 2 years of pure torment, one of the recurring themes was that i wasnt tidy and cleanly enough, in the end it became pretty much the only topic i was being forced into every day, until the moment i truly started to despise everything about it. sharing such things is brave knowing how caring about your body on a conventional level is a sort of a sensitive thing.
Our non-human little saw this. She is sending Murmer as much love as she can. Murmer's words meant a lot to our little, and have helped her feel seen and understood. Thank you Murmer.
It makes SO. MUCH. SENSE. That a mermaid alter would emerge in a child that experienced trauma around water! To have the function that Murmer has, to help keep the body clean...it just makes SO MUCH SENSE. It's seriously mindblowing. And heartbreaking.
I thought exactly the same! It just makes sense and how Murmur explained is was for me like "Yes, right, a mermaid could never drown!" So interesting! (I mean, yes, abuse and trauma is horrible and that it came so far for the DIDsystem to create alters is horrible - but on a logical side it just makes sense and is quite interesting!)
Murmur has a calming presence, but I can see this deep rooted sadness within her eyes and whenever she talks. When she said "I came into existence because a child thought they were going to die", there was this subtle edge to her voice, like a combination subtle anger and sadness, and it made want to hug her. ❤
"They'll never meet me, and they'll never see me. But I'll always see them." This. We will always be haunted by the people who hurt us. And those people will never know just how much pain and suffering they caused us. Thank you so much for making this video, Murmer. We see you, and we believe you. 💜
@@letsthink2599 thats actually called generalized amnesia, so not everyone has or experiences it where general memory isn't passed on to newly split alters.
This made our non human alter feel very seen, thank you. Zero is non human but not much of anything, almost like a shadow, Zero fronts during trauma and sometimes when people make us relive our trauma because Zero has no feelings, Zero can't get hurt because it can't feel anything.
"I wish that people through out our life who made my existence necessary, to know that I don't forgive them, and wont forget. They'll never met me and they'll never see me. and I'll always see the, I can't un-see them." Such powerful words. I'm proud of you murmer.
I want Murmer to know that we see her pain, we see what she does for the DissociaDID system and as someone who cares so much about you guys, I’m so so proud of Murmer for all that she’s achieved. I’m proud of all of you, but today Murmer deserves to be seen, heard and understood - this was so hard. Thank you to Mike and Kya for helping her through this❤️
I agree with you! I am also a retired Early Childhood Educator! This hurt my Mama heart & my teacher heart as I love kids. Kids are my passion. It makes me tear up to think of what Murmer & the other Alters endured!
I am so thankful this video came into my feed. As a mother and friend to a woman who fears her daughter is awakening to her past CSA trauma it’s so helpful to watch this episode. Our daughters are best friends and I know they talk about the incidents, but when we come into the room they stop talking. Ultimately my friend wants to be there for her daughter when she’s ready to talk about it if she needs/wants to. Thank you for educating us. Hugs to Murmer. She did a very brave and kind service.
We have a mermaid alter from water abuse trauma too. This video was very brave, we could never be this vulnerable and we appreciate deeply that you can speak for yourselves and us.
I don’t have DID. But thanks for sharing cuz I thought I was the only one with difficulty with baths! When I was a kid, I thought it was just me being a kid. But now as an adult with knowledge about all my trauma and some memories that still remain hidden to me (but with knowledge that my abuser used to bathe me as a very young child), I knew it had something to do with my trauma for a while. But then I vacillated between thinking maybe I just rlly don’t like taking a bath as part of my personality and then thinking that it might be a part of my trauma response. I still don’t know. And some days baths are still very difficult for me and I procrastinate so much until I can do it with some days having to sleep at 2am because being very sleepy overcomes my resistance to baths that I can take a bath more easily when I’m tired and sleepy. Even on the “easy” days, I still don’t like it, but I’m able to tolerate it better. I wish it doesn’t have to be that way. I wish that either I actually liked baths or that baths didn’t exist, and I could self-clean like a cat. I sometimes feel like a cat. Like I don’t want to be touched especially by water. I can wash my hands but anything beyond that-even having the water go beyond my hands to my arms gets uncomfortable. Anyway, hang in there!
@@LyraPyxisVT I actually only have showers in my house, which ig is why I hate them because my abuser had access to only showers in my house. I actually like bathtubs because I had none in my house and could only enjoy them in hotels, which from my earliest memories in hotels, my abuser was never with us on those trips. So, I could have bubblebaths and feel happy as a kid in bathtubs.
9:51 “I am not something made up for attention. I was created because a child thought that they would die. And now I am needed so we can bathe.” This has helped me understand non-human altars, thank you for fronting. You are certainly an important part of the system, and your voice is important.
From childhood on, I was always fascinated and enarmoured my mermaids. I'd read and watch everything I could get my hands on. They always appeared so strong and calm to me. Please tell Murmer that I am currently smiling and crying because I finally saw a mermaid and listened to her speak.
You can really see how much work you guys have been doing on handling your panic attacks and treating yourselves with love and kindness when you get triggered. Especially compared to a few years ago when Chloe would get so frustrated and apologetic when she got switchy. Seeing you using self soothing and grounding tactics and treating each other and the body with care and support is so lovely to see. You guys are absolutely incredible. I’m so happy we got to meet Murmer and can’t wait for Mikes MTA.
I was just about to comment this! It makes me so happy to see how far they’ve come when it comes to self regulating and learning how to respect each alter necessity and not to push anything. I’m so proud of everyone 🥹🥹 it’s so beautiful to see healing
Oh there was such visible sorrow in Murmer’s eyes while she talked. I just wanted to give her a hug! Thank you for being brave and for fronting to let us understand and hear you!
Thank you, Murmer for sharing how your role and importance is apart of your intricate system. We look forward to hearing and seeing more of you, your thoughts, ideas etc if you choose to share in the future. Thank you to Kia and Mike for supporting Murmer on her journey of coming forward publicly. Best wishes and much love to you all.
“That I was made because a child thought they were going to die.” Extremely powerful words from Murmer. Non-human alters are still so misunderstood, it was very interesting and valuable to hear her words and get a first-hand perspective of an alter with a very specific role and lived experience.
"i know my part in the world and the extent of my existence is very very tiny but im still here and i want to be recognized for it" i dont think ive ever teared up on the spot like this before just from being able to relate and understand.
This is so heartbreaking to watch… to know this woman went through such horrible abuse as a child that this once little girl created a mermaid alter to help her shower… I can’t ever begin to imagine what happened to this beautiful woman… I can see the pain in her eyes and it makes me so angry that these monsters who ever they were, did this to her… I’m so sorry my dear… so so sorry you were put through this
Amen all we can do now is hope and pray for things to get better and if she sees this just know although im sure you get this a lot we are hear to support you and wish you the best in every and anyway we can
My heart absolutely broke when Murmur said “I am a mermaid, that means I can’t drown.” And started to explain why she is important in the system. I am so unbelievably sorry for all the trauma and horrible things that you had to go through as a child. I just want to give you the biggest hug, brush your hair, and tell you it’s okay, you’re safe, and that I’m proud of you 🥺💜
Murmer is so eloquent and insightful. I don’t have DID but I do have BPD and PTSD due to repeated childhood trauma, and a bad beginning doesn’t necessarily mean a bad ending really hit me hard in the best way. Thank you Murmer for being so vulnerable 💖
I also have BPD & PTSD. Murmer reminds me of myself when I need to be functional. Full of sadness, fear, but ultimately resilient and doing her best. Thank you for being so transparent, Murmer!
Oh my gosh. Possible BPD here and definite PTSD, and you both exactly hit it for me. 💙 For Murmer, I see you, and I appreciate you. You are important and outstandingly brave in sharing with us. And you just helped a lot of people not feel so alone.
Please tell murmer that she was so brave foe doing this! Hearing what she had to say almost made me tear up a little bit. Every single one of you are so strong. ❤️
As someone with depression, this video gave me the kick I needed to take a shower that I haven't been for a disgusting lenght of time. Murmur, you are not a joke. You are an inspiration. ❤ Thank you.
It was an absolute pleasure to meet you Murmur. I found your answers to be incredibly insightful, and I am so sorry you have gone through so much pain. Your role may be ‘small’ but you are an integral part of your system. You are so much bigger to this world than you realise. Thank you for raising awareness on non-human alters. Love Bean
"I have a greater desire to speak... and I wish that people throughout our life who've made my existence necessary to know that I don't forgive them and I won't forget." OMG the way this whole statement exudes power, protection and justice actually gave me shivers! Murmer's whole demeanor and presence is just such a good example of a wonderful, beautiful, strong and powerful caregiver and protector. Even though it's she/they are presented as a caregiver, the power, strength and grounded nature of murmer feels so wonderfully and beautifully protective. You're awsome murmer and I love your video! 🫶🏼 7:57
It's very important that you've clarified again why nonhuman alters exsist. We hide a lot and worry people won't treat us with respect if they ever know about the non-human alters in our system, but your bravery helps us feel safer. Thank you Murmur, Kya and Mike.
One of our littles just said in the background "Mango noo!" when she heard that the baby was being chaotic. That clip really helped us calm down today, thank you and hello to Murmer, our minds are always with you all and thinking of you 💙 Hope you're feelin' at least okay :) -Ben (probably)
What a beautiful, gentle soul you are Murmur. Please don’t diminish your role, you are SO important. I’ve followed DissociaDID for some years and as a therapist I have learned a lot. You are all amazing, never stop what you are doing.
I do not have DID but this video definitely helped me understand more about DID. All of your videos do, I hope to become a Therapist when I’m older and seeing and hearing your experience helps me understand more about the brain and the human psychology. I know that all people with DID must appreciate you dearly and I do too for teaching others about this mostly unknown disorder. My heart goes out to everyone in your system for being strong ❤
I hate the thought that Murmur only views her existence as her role. To Murmur, if you ever see this, there are a lot of us out here who really appreciate what you do in your role for your system but also see so much more in you. You are appreciated. You are heard. You are loved. 💖
I remember finding this channel a few years ago, I remember very distinctly watching Kyle in 2018 doing makeup I believe. I watched almost all the videos that were up at the time simply to learn more. I come back again to thank you for being open about DID. I befriended someone a few months ago who informed me that they have DID and I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole re-learning everything I can find and this channel is my #1 trusted source I turn to in learning about non-human alters after holding a short conversation with a non-human alter recently. I thank you for fighting to keep this channel up and for Murmer to power through and speak. Lots of love to you all!!
"I am a symbol of resilience and strength." That phrase really resonated with me. I struggle with severe depression and PTSD and had a bad episode over the last few weeks. I couldn't stop thinking about how I could be this broken. My body functions but my mind is spiraling. I think, I really needed to hear this right now. So thank you Murmur! I am happy to see/ hear more from you and your thoughts 🤗
I hope murmer realizes that they dont need to just be a purpose, they have value just by being themselves and thats absolutely marvelous. Keep up the good work murmer, you're amazing🧜🏻♀️💕
My niece has just been diagnosed with DID. I have a friend that has DID too. But it was due to your vids, I recognized the symptoms and was able to suggest they get evaluated. They both were given a positive diagnosis. So thank you so much.
To Murmer: I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're able to be heard and tell your feelings. I hope someday, you find your footing and your spot in the outer world, if you want that. And just so you know, you are an amazingly strong mermaid. I'm so glad i got to meet you. To Kya: I'm glad you helped Murmer through this. You did amazing, and i know it must've been difficult. You can get through this, you got this. To Mike: you're awesome for helping support both Kya and Murmer through this, i heard you've taken a long journey to become such an awesome support. In light of that knowledge: MAKE A MEET THE ALTERS VIDEO PLEASE. You seem SO COOL and i just REALLY WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU. FRICK.
@@DissociaDID I'm so excited. I never got to watch the original meet the boys video, and I fully respect the privacy of the alters that wanted it removed so I'm not even gonna see if there are reuploads, but y'all talk about Mike so much and I can't wait to learn about him. Tbf though, I hope someday we'll get to meet everyone who can be met safely (of course not the kids or anything, I don't support children or child alters on UA-cam in general)
The fact that your system has done so much research to learn and understand the different levels and aspects of DID and then explain them to others and still work on recovery beyond just "survival" is so powerful. You are all so powerful. Thank you for sharing, even though you don't have to. You are seen, heard, appreciated, respected. Much love.
Murmer gave me chills, mate. Her eyes bore right into my soul and I felt the sincerity in every word. I got a little choked up because, idk, just the conviction I felt was incredible. It struck me in my bones. And the vulnerability was so brave. It has not gone unappreciated. I hope she gets to speak more, like she mentioned in the video. Murmer, you have a beautiful way with words. I was listening while doing dishes and instead became glued to my screen. You're beautiful ❤ Thank you for sharing your story. All of you in the DissociaDID system are making incredible work. You've been my primary source of information about DID over the years, and I'm so glad things are going well with the court case. That asshole just doesn't know when to quit. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for the work you share. You've educated several people at least a little bit through me haha. And my own heart feels a little more healed each time I come here. Thank you for creating a safe space and sharing your individual stories and selves. ❤
Though I don’t have DID, I do have depression and have struggled with just finding enough motivation to shower. So Murmer, it may only be a “small” job but it has such a huge impact. I’m glad you exist ❤️ also thanks Kya and Mike for helping her be able to meet us!
I do not understand why, but despite not having DID I do suffer from a lot of dissociation and other mental disorders because of truama - the look I see in some alters eyes - like Murmer makes me feel so calm yet sad. I recognize the look in her eye, the deep rooted anger and sadness. the effects of isolation. I see it and understand it more than anything else I see. it makes me feel less alone. but it also makes my heart break for Murmer and the whole system. how strong all of you are! you all inspire me to heal and grow everyday
I have to admire how supportive Kya and Mike were during this, and how brave and powerful Murmer is. Murmer, your role is important, you are important. You help other alters and your memories are valid, your words are important and we will always listen. Whenever you want to speak, do so. I hope the system does include you because you deserve to be heard
I struggle with PTSD myself and find it hard to shower and bathe too. I want Murmur to know that her existence is appreciated. I wish for her to find community and connection within the system, and joy in the outer world.
Your role might feel small, but it has a massive impact on health and wellbeing. You deserve to feel appreciated for all that you have done. I'm glad you got the chance to speak your story. Thank you for your bravery and perseverance.
This is the first time I've seen a video that explains nonhuman alters in a way that makes sense. Of course I never doubted people when they said they had them, but I couldn't understand how they came to be. Thank you Murmer for sharing and thank you Kya and Mike for supporting her. I want to give Murmer a hug. She's been through so much. You all have. Thank you for sharing your story.
As an Alter made by similar trauma but has more of the opposite reaction to water "a bad beginning doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending" really hit hard for me. Your videos remind us that no matter who we are our traumas don't have to define us, we can make small steps to accomplish and overcome big things in the world, and the reason for our existence is just as important as anyone else despite the reason why. Thank you for sharing your story -Ben
Honestly Murmer is so strong for doing this. Even though they say that they are a small part of the system, they are truly important. Carrying out crucial tasks and they are so valid. Anyone who has not only survived trauma but is brave enough to come out and talk about it is truly an inspiration. Much love.
I have severe water related trauma. I can see where having murmer is very beneficial. I don’t have DID but I do have a lot of trauma related diagnoses and disorders. I’m glad you guys have someone to protect you from that and help you with it.
We have 5+ fairy alters because of the idea of wanting to fly away or be carried to safety. It was nice to be recognized. Thank you for sharing your story with us murmur ❤️
11:40 the “we got you” was so heartwarming. I watched your channel for years and I just love to see you guys talking about your story.murmer is an amazing thing and I love that you guys can tell your story !
My mind always gets blown everytime she explaines DID. I'm going to be completely honnest here, sometimes, I have doubts when I click on videos about DID but I still want to listen to what she has to say. At first I was like "A mermaid alter? WTF?". Now it makes complete sens. Alters are created through the eyes or the mind of a child. It's all related to childhood trauma. Now I have no doubts anymore. Thank you for turning a on light bulb in my mind. I keep forgetting that DID is a disorder that's logic. Knowing that you had to create an alter to protect a child alter is scary. I understand what it means and it's not good. I hate violence and I hate violence towards children even more. Sorry about my doubts, the way you use words to explain the subject is truly next level.
A part of me understands where she’s coming from as I really struggle bathing or showering. But I don’t have DID so I just have to try and cope with the flash backs and trauma that come up from the tigger of being in or near water. Thank you as as someone with BPD borderline personality disorders. This has helped me realised it’s okay too be scared or struggle.
I don't know why but I always assumed a non-human alter would be less aware of themselves as alters. This was so eye opening for me! Murmer was so fiercely strong, what she does for the body and the system is incredible. We see you and thank you Murmer... Thank you Kya and Mike too for helping this happen. I found this so so informative!
"I am a representation of the evil that exists in the world and also an example of how people can heal even in the worst scenarios." I feel that this is so true and I had the same thought when I first met your system. It's so much beauty now, growing out from your trauma. I'm so sorry you had to go through that to come to live. Thank you for showing yourself and building awareness in the world. Sending you lots of love❤❤❤
I'm feeling so much love and compassion for Murmer right now. There was so much sadness in her eyes. And so much courage in her voice that she's now bravely learning to use. It made me quite emotional to see how gentle and kind Kya was with her after the switch 🥺 I just want Murmer to know that we see and hear her. And thank you for introducing herself to us. She is welcome here. 🤍
I watched the video when it first came out, but I came back because I remembered how impressed I was about what you had to say Murmer. I don’t know if you are aware of it, but your words are so encouraging to me. I do not have DID, but depression, as some of your alters do. And even tho your words are not directed at me personally, I feel them. Thank you for that. Also thank you to Mike and Kya (and others that helped) to give Murmer the platform to make her voice be heard. She has so much to say and she can be so proud of her bravery talking on the channel. I know you guys have a hard time right now, take all the rest you need and keep going. We will be patiently waiting for your return ❤
I think this video is great as it explains WHY there are non-human alters. They are created for a child and just like Murmur, the alters have to grow up with them and that is not always easy. Accepting that your purpose changes...or might not be needed anymore. That hurts alot, just as much when they find out what they are needed for. Murmur really seemed hurt thinking about why she came to existence and the sorrow in her eyes made me want to cry. But I'm also very glad to see Murmur be confident that it's just a step to heal.
It was nice to meet you Murmer!!! You are so strong! Thank you for coming out to speak, we all are very grateful that you came to educate us and help us learn more about you!! Lots of love!
this makes my non-human alter feel so loved and seen, he has no name but hes a force that protects the system, he's almost like a shadow, not there but there all the time, thank you for putting yourself out here and thank you mumur so so much
This touched me. I feel so sad and sorry for everything that happened in the past that required Murmer's creation. It was an honor to hear her speak, and I know it must have been extremely difficult. Thank you so much Murmer, for all you do to protect and support the system. I wish all of you peace and happiness. 💚 You are loved.
Thank you for having the confidence to do this. It really raises awareness and it's really brave to do something like this. I honestly hope everyone the best. ❤
I’m so happy that Murmer feels safe with the community. You can hear the sadness and slight anger and I just hope all of us can make Murmer feel a bit of joy and happiness knowing that she is appreciated. Wishing the best for the system 💜
Thank you Murmer for coming out and introducing yourself, it is very nice to meet you. And thank you Kaya and Mike for assisting her through all the way. I always admire you guys on how you are so inclusive, supportive and welcoming of everyone in the system. I believe that allows many of the alters to also be open and share their feelings, thoughts and experiences. I learn a lot from you - it helps me also establish better relationships with people around me.
Murmur, I am new to this channel & find myself in a situation where I feel the need to learn more about DID to better understand and help a family member. I truly appreciate you coming forward & I appreciate the strength it took for you to do so. You introduced me to a whole new aspect of DID that I was unfamiliar with before. I hope that you & any other non-human alters continue to speak up as I feel it's important for people to understand that you all do exist & why. That being said, I'd like to say thank you. Sincerely.
This is the first video I’ve every watched of a DID creator such as yourselves (I really hope I’m using the correct wording) and while I don’t have DID I do have Austism and ADHD and am working through traumas from my own childhood because of this. Listening to Murmer…I see much of myself. I saddened by such the sorrow in Murmer’s eyes tone of their voice, but there is also such strength and resolve. Murmer, every word you spoke I listened to, I absorbed, I respected. I am thankful you made this video, as you’ve opened my eyes to the reality of DID. Thank you for teaching me, and I wish you all success and happiness.
Thank you to Murmer for sharing her views and experience in the system. It's also astonishing how much she understands of systems. She's clearly really smart and has a deep understanding of how everything works and how she came to be. Thank you for sharing 🩷
Somehow I never saw this video until now... It's so heavy, I was nearly in tears. I'm glad Murmur did this so that she could be seen and heard. Her words were incredibly poignant. She's so strong. I got the impression that she feels her role is small because she's asleep a lot, but she plays such a huge role. Much love. You're an incredible system.
There should be an Alters Appreciate Day ❤ all alters deserve to be seen and heard and to heal and be appreciated for all the hard work that goes into helping each other function and survive. You are all amazing and so strong and deserve all the happiness and love 🎉
I’ve watched all your videos and dont think ive ever been brought to tears SO quickly as i did when Murmer said “i was made because a child thought they were going to die…. And now im needed just so that we can shower” really puts into words how childhood trauma can fuck up your entire life going forward and how the tiniest of mundane tasks can become torture because of it.
Hearing Murmer talk is so soothing. She has such a gentle voice. Also I can relate to keeping to oneself. Solitude can be surprisingly comforting sometimes.
Kya grounding and self-soothing after the switch by rubbing her arms and speaking to herself was EXACTLY how I handled dissasociating after SA-related trauma in college. I didn't realize it til later that I was experiencing dissasociation especially since I thought amnesia was a requirement for dissasociation. Thank you Murmer, Kya, Mike, and the rest of the system for the channel and videos like this. I don't have DID but it helps me understand people who do, as well as trauma responses and a bit of what my body and mind went through during the SA-related trauma. There are now words and explanations to how I felt other than "tired" and "out of it". I've been binging some of your videos recently and I'm so grateful to have found this channel! Much love and many hugs to your entire system!
As a system with quite a few mermaid alters from water related traumas its always really comforting to see other systems have similar experiences. Obviously never good that people experienced the traumas, but that we're not alone.
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i didnt understand non human alters before watching this video but you all really have opened my mind and helped me understand why non human alters appear, thank you so much. murmer's tone and stillness gave me chills but mostly made me really sympathetic, you all are so strong and I wish I could hug you. sending my love to you all
There is this almost haunting deep sadness in Murmer's eyes. It's heartbreaking to imagine what might have happened to them in the past. Sending you lots of love. You are very strong for sharing your story one here. Thank you for your work! ❤
Murmer the pain you must feel and hold is unimaginable but despite saying you have only recently begun to speak, you have a powerful voice and a even more powerful message and I hope you know we all see you and hear you ❤
I can see why she’s friends with Jade, both such amazing strong alters. You should be so proud Murmer, that was so brave and profound, thank you for doing it.
I watched this video the day you uploaded it but I’m back watching it again because I can’t stop thinking about it. And I just finished it for the second time and I’m sobbing seeing how much pain Murmer is in. I’m sure just because she can’t drown doesn’t mean having those flashbacks are any less painful emotionally for her. She said she wants to be included more in the system. I really hope you can all find a way to make that happen. It’s completely breaking my heart that she’s so isolated in the inner word and must feel so alone. Murmer, I can see how much pain you’re in and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through and everything you continue to go through. I can’t even imagine constantly having to deal with flashbacks that no one else can handle. I have C-PTSD and when I have flashbacks it’s so completely overwhelming. You’re so strong Murmer, but I’m so sorry you’ve had to be. I wish I could hug you (only if you wanted a hug) and take your pain away. I’m just so fucking sorry. I really hope the system finds a way to improve communication and you can all talk more and you can have your needs met. You deserve to have happiness in your life. You deserve to have so much happiness. I really, really want that for you. I’m sending you so much love 💕
Those pauses speak volumes. You can see it in their eyes that Murmer know what she wants to say, she's just struggling to articulate her thoughts in a manner that would be easily understood by those who don't share their experience, or at least it reads like that to me
That's exactly what was happening. She isn't used to speaking at all so talking to an audience... It was hard for her to articulate strong emotions and trauma in a gentle way
I dont wanna bog this down with a comment that doesn't reflect the weight of this video, but I know comments are how videos get shared around the algorithm. This was very mind opening, I appreciate the effort this must have taken to create.❤
Watching this was hard. My empathy made me feel all kinds of things, I had to pause the video a few times. But I wanted to see this, wanted to understand. I've been learning so much from all of you. Just imagining how it must feel to know you exist for such a reason... I cannot put that into words. Thank you for filming this, Murmer, for being here. We see you, we listen and we appreciate your being here.
I have so many words but no way to describe my gratefulness for this. Your bravery Murmer to share with us has made me feel seen, valid, and understood.. Thank you Murmer, I only wish happiness to you. - Sill
Hello Murmur, it is so nice to meet you! Please never feel like you are unimportant. You may just be one person in this big universe, but just by protecting your system you have saved so many people. And allowed them to build the DissociaDID project, which helped thousands of others around the world
She has such pain in her eyes. I'm super proud of her for being able to film this and talk about it. I could only imagine how hard it was. I'm super proud of all of you ❤️ I see you and I believe you Murmur, you did such a wonderful job
It was very nice to meet you Murmer! You did very well. We're all very appreciative of seeing you and we're super proud of you that you take this role in the system.
Murmer! Your existence is not tiny. You saved a child. You helped them survive, you made a grown human being, they exist because of you. Now, you help your sistem, they're there because of you. You're all living, one step at a time, thanks to you. All of them must be so grateful for your big existance... You do so much for them And now, you've reached thousands. You're anything but tiny, Murmer. You're heard, understood, loved, appreciated. Thank you for being here
Sending y'all a hug that goes around all of ya at once! Sending love too! So sorry for your hurt......dear one! So honored to meet dearest Murmer! Thank you for being so brave!!! Please share again!
“I am a mermaid, that means I can’t drown” honestly makes so much sense in the mind of a child, like, it just makes sense. That desire for safety and security is so understandable. At first I didn’t get the idea of non-human alters, but something like this makes so much sense. Thank you so much for sharing this
I'm really glad we could explain in a way that makes better sense for you ❤️
same, I thought it was a little odd but the explanation makes so much snese
another example of a different kind of nonhuman alter would be one of ours! we have a tree alter (several actually, but this one's just about birch) and she was made to handle bullying and stress in early school years. we've always had a very strong attachment to plants and the natural world, and our best theory for how birch was created from the memories we've collected was very much "if i don't move they'll ignore me", "stay quiet and still", "i'm tough like wood", and "breathe slow and deep" (thank you grandma, for "tree breaths").
she started as simply someone who could withstand the stress and harm, but has grown over the years to do various things such as hold trauma memories and allow us to ground in a calm manner. she feels and thinks, but fairly slowly. birch is thoroughly loved in our system and always willing to listen to others' troubles, and being the closest to the center of everything she even gets decorated seasonally to keep her spirits up. 💛
@@yippeeflowers thank you so much for sharing, birch sounds so lovely ❤
@@yippeeflowers This made us feel so safe?? Thanks to Birch. She's amazing and we see her and all the hard work she's done 💚 It doesn't all have to be so hard and complex. Ty. Really. -Ben
Chills running down my spine. Murmer might be soft spoken and gentle sounding, but something about her stillness and the way she so seemingly efortlessly speaks about the horrible trauma and those who caused it. So powerfull. You can clearly see she is influenced by both Jade and Sally. Sending nothing but love to Murmer.
I get similar vibes to jade as well, I completely understand why she said she feels most comfortable most often speaking to jade.
"i was made because a child thought they were going to die. now i'm needed just so we can shower." that was powerful. sending love
I almost cried here.
I did cry here. Sometimes we get so set into our own lives and our own heads that we forget experiences like this exist.
So powerful
@@saberbyte3989 I had a pretty brutal therapy session, so I had been all cried out at the moment. Pretty bad when you're all cried out and you feel like crying but there's nothing THERE.
i had a lot of childhood trauma, but nothing on an extreme level, even it was enough to leave permanent scars. but the worst abuse i experienced was as an adult, and he twsited what he knew of my childhood and youth into believing it was exculsively my fault and that i was doing deliberate evil. the abuse started on a spiritual level, but when it culminated into 2 years of pure torment, one of the recurring themes was that i wasnt tidy and cleanly enough, in the end it became pretty much the only topic i was being forced into every day, until the moment i truly started to despise everything about it. sharing such things is brave knowing how caring about your body on a conventional level is a sort of a sensitive thing.
Our non-human little saw this. She is sending Murmer as much love as she can. Murmer's words meant a lot to our little, and have helped her feel seen and understood. Thank you Murmer.
give your little our love and support from all of our non-human Alters.
❤
@@hey_wolf oh shut up broski
Thank you for sharing 🩷
😂
It makes SO. MUCH. SENSE. That a mermaid alter would emerge in a child that experienced trauma around water! To have the function that Murmer has, to help keep the body clean...it just makes SO MUCH SENSE. It's seriously mindblowing. And heartbreaking.
I came into this video a bit skeptical just cause the title but..wow. I had the same conclusion by the end. It just makes sense.
@@cricketxingwhat about it makes you skeptical?
Exactly my thoughts man!
I thought exactly the same! It just makes sense and how Murmur explained is was for me like "Yes, right, a mermaid could never drown!" So interesting! (I mean, yes, abuse and trauma is horrible and that it came so far for the DIDsystem to create alters is horrible - but on a logical side it just makes sense and is quite interesting!)
@@cricketxingwhy skeptical? Are you new to this channel?
Murmur has a calming presence, but I can see this deep rooted sadness within her eyes and whenever she talks. When she said "I came into existence because a child thought they were going to die", there was this subtle edge to her voice, like a combination subtle anger and sadness, and it made want to hug her. ❤
"They'll never meet me, and they'll never see me. But I'll always see them."
This. We will always be haunted by the people who hurt us. And those people will never know just how much pain and suffering they caused us. Thank you so much for making this video, Murmer. We see you, and we believe you. 💜
I'm so sorry you experience it too ❤️ - Kya
@@DissociaDID guys a question
Is there any of your alters who doesnt know that they have DID??
@@letsthink2599 I remember they mentioned in the past that they had an alter who wasn't aware of the DID. I don't know anything more than that
@@letsthink2599 thats actually called generalized amnesia, so not everyone has or experiences it where general memory isn't passed on to newly split alters.
Yes there are. Some are stuck in a certain period of trauma or abuse and don't know or understand anything beyond that time period.
This made our non human alter feel very seen, thank you. Zero is non human but not much of anything, almost like a shadow, Zero fronts during trauma and sometimes when people make us relive our trauma because Zero has no feelings, Zero can't get hurt because it can't feel anything.
That's very valid
I want to give you guys a hug, your system deserves the best. Please tell Zero that it is amazing, you are all amazing. 💜
Zero is rezilient!! :) lol. Hope Zero and your system are doing well. You are amazing Zero keep it up!
Hey @probably_noah9417 I need to talk to you please reply. I have DID and I need to talk about zero
"A bad beginning doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending." Thank you ❤ 10:14
❤️❤️❤️
We quote this to ourselves all the time when we saw her say it in a Tiktok comment :')
It realy is a beautiful way of thinking and I couldn't agree more
i read this at the exact moment she said it in the video
"I wish that people through out our life who made my existence necessary, to know that I don't forgive them, and wont forget. They'll never met me and they'll never see me. and I'll always see the, I can't un-see them." Such powerful words. I'm proud of you murmer.
I want Murmer to know that we see her pain, we see what she does for the DissociaDID system and as someone who cares so much about you guys, I’m so so proud of Murmer for all that she’s achieved. I’m proud of all of you, but today Murmer deserves to be seen, heard and understood - this was so hard. Thank you to Mike and Kya for helping her through this❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Agreed. Nothing but absolute respect for Murmer. We hear you, we believe you, we value you. Thank you for sharing.
Brilliantly put, Jorgia!
Completely agreed they went through a lot of trauma and now its their time to be heard
True that. Thank you Murmer and thank you all.
As a mother this broke my heart hearing what Murmer/the system has been through. No child should ever feel that fear. 😢
Glad to know there's some good mommas out there 💙 It's hard to remember that sometimes. Much love. -Ben
It really hurt me as well. I have a 12 year old and a 5 year old and I can't even imagine them having to feel the fear of drowning. 🥺
I agree with you! I am also a retired Early Childhood Educator! This hurt my Mama heart & my teacher heart as I love kids. Kids are my passion. It makes me tear up to think of what Murmer & the other Alters endured!
I am so thankful this video came into my feed. As a mother and friend to a woman who fears her daughter is awakening to her past CSA trauma it’s so helpful to watch this episode. Our daughters are best friends and I know they talk about the incidents, but when we come into the room they stop talking. Ultimately my friend wants to be there for her daughter when she’s ready to talk about it if she needs/wants to. Thank you for educating us. Hugs to Murmer. She did a very brave and kind service.
We have a mermaid alter from water abuse trauma too. This video was very brave, we could never be this vulnerable and we appreciate deeply that you can speak for yourselves and us.
❤️❤️❤️❤️ We see you
I don’t have DID. But thanks for sharing cuz I thought I was the only one with difficulty with baths! When I was a kid, I thought it was just me being a kid. But now as an adult with knowledge about all my trauma and some memories that still remain hidden to me (but with knowledge that my abuser used to bathe me as a very young child), I knew it had something to do with my trauma for a while. But then I vacillated between thinking maybe I just rlly don’t like taking a bath as part of my personality and then thinking that it might be a part of my trauma response. I still don’t know. And some days baths are still very difficult for me and I procrastinate so much until I can do it with some days having to sleep at 2am because being very sleepy overcomes my resistance to baths that I can take a bath more easily when I’m tired and sleepy. Even on the “easy” days, I still don’t like it, but I’m able to tolerate it better. I wish it doesn’t have to be that way. I wish that either I actually liked baths or that baths didn’t exist, and I could self-clean like a cat. I sometimes feel like a cat. Like I don’t want to be touched especially by water. I can wash my hands but anything beyond that-even having the water go beyond my hands to my arms gets uncomfortable. Anyway, hang in there!
I have cptsd anxiety disorder
@@marieso2293 have you tried taking showers instead, maybe the bathes is part of the trauma and you hate being in pools of water
@@LyraPyxisVT I actually only have showers in my house, which ig is why I hate them because my abuser had access to only showers in my house. I actually like bathtubs because I had none in my house and could only enjoy them in hotels, which from my earliest memories in hotels, my abuser was never with us on those trips. So, I could have bubblebaths and feel happy as a kid in bathtubs.
9:51 “I am not something made up for attention. I was created because a child thought that they would die. And now I am needed so we can bathe.”
This has helped me understand non-human altars, thank you for fronting. You are certainly an important part of the system, and your voice is important.
From childhood on, I was always fascinated and enarmoured my mermaids. I'd read and watch everything I could get my hands on. They always appeared so strong and calm to me. Please tell Murmer that I am currently smiling and crying because I finally saw a mermaid and listened to her speak.
Now i am crying❤
This made me sob.
This was so lovely for us to hear. We're friends with a couple sweet supernatural beings ourselves and this super warmed our heart 😭💙
@@ttenrabdn me too❤️
@@ttenrabdn 💙🩵💙
You can really see how much work you guys have been doing on handling your panic attacks and treating yourselves with love and kindness when you get triggered. Especially compared to a few years ago when Chloe would get so frustrated and apologetic when she got switchy. Seeing you using self soothing and grounding tactics and treating each other and the body with care and support is so lovely to see. You guys are absolutely incredible. I’m so happy we got to meet Murmer and can’t wait for Mikes MTA.
Thank you so much, this means a lot to us ❤️
I noticed this too. Really wonderful to see you self soothing and such a good example of being gentle and kind with ourselves and our pain.
I was just about to comment this! It makes me so happy to see how far they’ve come when it comes to self regulating and learning how to respect each alter necessity and not to push anything. I’m so proud of everyone 🥹🥹 it’s so beautiful to see healing
Oh there was such visible sorrow in Murmer’s eyes while she talked. I just wanted to give her a hug! Thank you for being brave and for fronting to let us understand and hear you!
❤️❤️❤️
I love how she is just like “my purpose is to shower, and only to shower. I will do no more than shower.”
Thank you, Murmer. We hear you, and we will continue to listen. Much love! Thank you, Kya. Thank you, Mike. ❤
Thank you for acknowledging all of us ❤️🥹
@@DissociaDID is Murmer ok?
I think so!
@@DissociaDID why are y’all up at 1am 🤨 Sending love to the whole system ❤❤❤
Thank you, Murmer for sharing how your role and importance is apart of your intricate system. We look forward to hearing and seeing more of you, your thoughts, ideas etc if you choose to share in the future. Thank you to Kia and Mike for supporting Murmer on her journey of coming forward publicly. Best wishes and much love to you all.
“That I was made because a child thought they were going to die.” Extremely powerful words from Murmer. Non-human alters are still so misunderstood, it was very interesting and valuable to hear her words and get a first-hand perspective of an alter with a very specific role and lived experience.
God, idk why this made me emotional, hearing her speak of the abusers and how she views her existence is simultaneously heartbreaking and inspiring.
I know right, her voice sounds soft/gentle but emotional. Honestly it makes me want to cry.
"i know my part in the world and the extent of my existence is very very tiny but im still here and i want to be recognized for it" i dont think ive ever teared up on the spot like this before just from being able to relate and understand.
It’s nice to meet you Murmer, thank you for making a Meet The Alters video.
We all appreciate it
I'll pass this on! Thank you so much ❤️
This is so heartbreaking to watch… to know this woman went through such horrible abuse as a child that this once little girl created a mermaid alter to help her shower… I can’t ever begin to imagine what happened to this beautiful woman… I can see the pain in her eyes and it makes me so angry that these monsters who ever they were, did this to her… I’m so sorry my dear… so so sorry you were put through this
Amen all we can do now is hope and pray for things to get better and if she sees this just know although im sure you get this a lot we are hear to support you and wish you the best in every and anyway we can
My heart absolutely broke when Murmur said “I am a mermaid, that means I can’t drown.” And started to explain why she is important in the system. I am so unbelievably sorry for all the trauma and horrible things that you had to go through as a child. I just want to give you the biggest hug, brush your hair, and tell you it’s okay, you’re safe, and that I’m proud of you 🥺💜
This made us feel safe even if it wasn't directed at us; Ty for your kind words
🥺💙
Murmer is so eloquent and insightful. I don’t have DID but I do have BPD and PTSD due to repeated childhood trauma, and a bad beginning doesn’t necessarily mean a bad ending really hit me hard in the best way. Thank you Murmer for being so vulnerable 💖
I also have BPD & PTSD. Murmer reminds me of myself when I need to be functional. Full of sadness, fear, but ultimately resilient and doing her best. Thank you for being so transparent, Murmer!
Oh my gosh. Possible BPD here and definite PTSD, and you both exactly hit it for me. 💙
For Murmer, I see you, and I appreciate you. You are important and outstandingly brave in sharing with us. And you just helped a lot of people not feel so alone.
Please tell murmer that she was so brave foe doing this! Hearing what she had to say almost made me tear up a little bit. Every single one of you are so strong. ❤️
I will pass it on! Thank you so much! ❤️❤️
As someone with depression, this video gave me the kick I needed to take a shower that I haven't been for a disgusting lenght of time. Murmur, you are not a joke. You are an inspiration. ❤ Thank you.
I hope your depression lightens up!
It was an absolute pleasure to meet you Murmur. I found your answers to be incredibly insightful, and I am so sorry you have gone through so much pain. Your role may be ‘small’ but you are an integral part of your system. You are so much bigger to this world than you realise. Thank you for raising awareness on non-human alters. Love Bean
This is so lovely, thank you ❤️ I'll pass this on to her if I can ❤️
"I have a greater desire to speak... and I wish that people throughout our life who've made my existence necessary to know that I don't forgive them and I won't forget." OMG the way this whole statement exudes power, protection and justice actually gave me shivers! Murmer's whole demeanor and presence is just such a good example of a wonderful, beautiful, strong and powerful caregiver and protector. Even though it's she/they are presented as a caregiver, the power, strength and grounded nature of murmer feels so wonderfully and beautifully protective. You're awsome murmer and I love your video! 🫶🏼 7:57
Yo I read this right as she that
It's very important that you've clarified again why nonhuman alters exsist. We hide a lot and worry people won't treat us with respect if they ever know about the non-human alters in our system, but your bravery helps us feel safer. Thank you Murmur, Kya and Mike.
♥️♥️♥️
One of our littles just said in the background "Mango noo!" when she heard that the baby was being chaotic. That clip really helped us calm down today, thank you and hello to Murmer, our minds are always with you all and thinking of you 💙 Hope you're feelin' at least okay :) -Ben (probably)
What a beautiful, gentle soul you are Murmur. Please don’t diminish your role, you are SO important. I’ve followed DissociaDID for some years and as a therapist I have learned a lot. You are all amazing, never stop what you are doing.
Thank you ❤️
Same here, also a therapist, this is fascinating and educational to me.
I do not have DID but this video definitely helped me understand more about DID. All of your videos do, I hope to become a Therapist when I’m older and seeing and hearing your experience helps me understand more about the brain and the human psychology. I know that all people with DID must appreciate you dearly and I do too for teaching others about this mostly unknown disorder. My heart goes out to everyone in your system for being strong ❤
I hate the thought that Murmur only views her existence as her role. To Murmur, if you ever see this, there are a lot of us out here who really appreciate what you do in your role for your system but also see so much more in you. You are appreciated. You are heard. You are loved. 💖
agree, u r your own person
I remember finding this channel a few years ago, I remember very distinctly watching Kyle in 2018 doing makeup I believe. I watched almost all the videos that were up at the time simply to learn more. I come back again to thank you for being open about DID. I befriended someone a few months ago who informed me that they have DID and I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole re-learning everything I can find and this channel is my #1 trusted source I turn to in learning about non-human alters after holding a short conversation with a non-human alter recently. I thank you for fighting to keep this channel up and for Murmer to power through and speak. Lots of love to you all!!
"I am a symbol of resilience and strength."
That phrase really resonated with me.
I struggle with severe depression and PTSD and had a bad episode over the last few weeks. I couldn't stop thinking about how I could be this broken. My body functions but my mind is spiraling. I think, I really needed to hear this right now.
So thank you Murmur! I am happy to see/ hear more from you and your thoughts 🤗
It's very brave of you to speak out like this. ❤
I hope murmer realizes that they dont need to just be a purpose, they have value just by being themselves and thats absolutely marvelous. Keep up the good work murmer, you're amazing🧜🏻♀️💕
hi murmer!! so wonderful to meet you, thank you being brave enough to come on camera and share your experiences
I'll pass this on to her, thank you for such a lovely comment! ❤️
My niece has just been diagnosed with DID. I have a friend that has DID too. But it was due to your vids, I recognized the symptoms and was able to suggest they get evaluated. They both were given a positive diagnosis. So thank you so much.
To Murmer: I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're able to be heard and tell your feelings. I hope someday, you find your footing and your spot in the outer world, if you want that. And just so you know, you are an amazingly strong mermaid. I'm so glad i got to meet you.
To Kya: I'm glad you helped Murmer through this. You did amazing, and i know it must've been difficult. You can get through this, you got this.
To Mike: you're awesome for helping support both Kya and Murmer through this, i heard you've taken a long journey to become such an awesome support. In light of that knowledge: MAKE A MEET THE ALTERS VIDEO PLEASE. You seem SO COOL and i just REALLY WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU. FRICK.
Mike's MTA is coming out next Sunday! ❤️ And thank you so much for theovely messages to each of us❤️❤️
@@DissociaDID yay! I’m so excited to hear this because I just tried to find Mike’s and I couldn’t. Excited to watch :)
@@DissociaDID I'm so excited. I never got to watch the original meet the boys video, and I fully respect the privacy of the alters that wanted it removed so I'm not even gonna see if there are reuploads, but y'all talk about Mike so much and I can't wait to learn about him. Tbf though, I hope someday we'll get to meet everyone who can be met safely (of course not the kids or anything, I don't support children or child alters on UA-cam in general)
The fact that your system has done so much research to learn and understand the different levels and aspects of DID and then explain them to others and still work on recovery beyond just "survival" is so powerful. You are all so powerful. Thank you for sharing, even though you don't have to. You are seen, heard, appreciated, respected. Much love.
Thank you so much ❤️
What a brave and beautiful soul Murmer is. Thank you for introducing yourself!
Murmer gave me chills, mate. Her eyes bore right into my soul and I felt the sincerity in every word. I got a little choked up because, idk, just the conviction I felt was incredible. It struck me in my bones.
And the vulnerability was so brave. It has not gone unappreciated. I hope she gets to speak more, like she mentioned in the video. Murmer, you have a beautiful way with words. I was listening while doing dishes and instead became glued to my screen. You're beautiful ❤ Thank you for sharing your story.
All of you in the DissociaDID system are making incredible work. You've been my primary source of information about DID over the years, and I'm so glad things are going well with the court case. That asshole just doesn't know when to quit.
I'm so proud of you. Thank you for the work you share. You've educated several people at least a little bit through me haha. And my own heart feels a little more healed each time I come here. Thank you for creating a safe space and sharing your individual stories and selves. ❤
Though I don’t have DID, I do have depression and have struggled with just finding enough motivation to shower. So Murmer, it may only be a “small” job but it has such a huge impact. I’m glad you exist ❤️ also thanks Kya and Mike for helping her be able to meet us!
Same! The exact same. It’s so much “energy”
I do not understand why, but despite not having DID I do suffer from a lot of dissociation and other mental disorders because of truama - the look I see in some alters eyes - like Murmer makes me feel so calm yet sad. I recognize the look in her eye, the deep rooted anger and sadness. the effects of isolation. I see it and understand it more than anything else I see. it makes me feel less alone. but it also makes my heart break for Murmer and the whole system. how strong all of you are! you all inspire me to heal and grow everyday
I have to admire how supportive Kya and Mike were during this, and how brave and powerful Murmer is. Murmer, your role is important, you are important. You help other alters and your memories are valid, your words are important and we will always listen.
Whenever you want to speak, do so. I hope the system does include you because you deserve to be heard
I struggle with PTSD myself and find it hard to shower and bathe too. I want Murmur to know that her existence is appreciated. I wish for her to find community and connection within the system, and joy in the outer world.
Your role might feel small, but it has a massive impact on health and wellbeing. You deserve to feel appreciated for all that you have done. I'm glad you got the chance to speak your story. Thank you for your bravery and perseverance.
This is the first time I've seen a video that explains nonhuman alters in a way that makes sense. Of course I never doubted people when they said they had them, but I couldn't understand how they came to be. Thank you Murmer for sharing and thank you Kya and Mike for supporting her. I want to give Murmer a hug. She's been through so much. You all have. Thank you for sharing your story.
As an Alter made by similar trauma but has more of the opposite reaction to water "a bad beginning doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending" really hit hard for me. Your videos remind us that no matter who we are our traumas don't have to define us, we can make small steps to accomplish and overcome big things in the world, and the reason for our existence is just as important as anyone else despite the reason why. Thank you for sharing your story -Ben
Honestly Murmer is so strong for doing this. Even though they say that they are a small part of the system, they are truly important. Carrying out crucial tasks and they are so valid.
Anyone who has not only survived trauma but is brave enough to come out and talk about it is truly an inspiration. Much love.
So proud of Murmer for being able to make this! To Murmer; you are seen, you are heard, and you are loved. I wish you swift healing ❤️
I have severe water related trauma. I can see where having murmer is very beneficial. I don’t have DID but I do have a lot of trauma related diagnoses and disorders. I’m glad you guys have someone to protect you from that and help you with it.
We have 5+ fairy alters because of the idea of wanting to fly away or be carried to safety. It was nice to be recognized. Thank you for sharing your story with us murmur ❤️
11:40 the “we got you” was so heartwarming. I watched your channel for years and I just love to see you guys talking about your story.murmer is an amazing thing and I love that you guys can tell your story !
My mind always gets blown everytime she explaines DID. I'm going to be completely honnest here, sometimes, I have doubts when I click on videos about DID but I still want to listen to what she has to say. At first I was like "A mermaid alter? WTF?". Now it makes complete sens. Alters are created through the eyes or the mind of a child. It's all related to childhood trauma. Now I have no doubts anymore.
Thank you for turning a on light bulb in my mind. I keep forgetting that DID is a disorder that's logic. Knowing that you had to create an alter to protect a child alter is scary. I understand what it means and it's not good. I hate violence and I hate violence towards children even more.
Sorry about my doubts, the way you use words to explain the subject is truly next level.
A part of me understands where she’s coming from as I really struggle bathing or showering. But I don’t have DID so I just have to try and cope with the flash backs and trauma that come up from the tigger of being in or near water. Thank you as as someone with BPD borderline personality disorders. This has helped me realised it’s okay too be scared or struggle.
I don't know why but I always assumed a non-human alter would be less aware of themselves as alters. This was so eye opening for me! Murmer was so fiercely strong, what she does for the body and the system is incredible. We see you and thank you Murmer... Thank you Kya and Mike too for helping this happen. I found this so so informative!
"I am a representation of the evil that exists in the world and also an example of how people can heal even in the worst scenarios."
I feel that this is so true and I had the same thought when I first met your system. It's so much beauty now, growing out from your trauma. I'm so sorry you had to go through that to come to live.
Thank you for showing yourself and building awareness in the world. Sending you lots of love❤❤❤
I'm feeling so much love and compassion for Murmer right now. There was so much sadness in her eyes. And so much courage in her voice that she's now bravely learning to use. It made me quite emotional to see how gentle and kind Kya was with her after the switch 🥺 I just want Murmer to know that we see and hear her. And thank you for introducing herself to us. She is welcome here. 🤍
I watched the video when it first came out, but I came back because I remembered how impressed I was about what you had to say Murmer. I don’t know if you are aware of it, but your words are so encouraging to me. I do not have DID, but depression, as some of your alters do. And even tho your words are not directed at me personally, I feel them. Thank you for that.
Also thank you to Mike and Kya (and others that helped) to give Murmer the platform to make her voice be heard. She has so much to say and she can be so proud of her bravery talking on the channel. I know you guys have a hard time right now, take all the rest you need and keep going. We will be patiently waiting for your return ❤
I think this video is great as it explains WHY there are non-human alters. They are created for a child and just like Murmur, the alters have to grow up with them and that is not always easy. Accepting that your purpose changes...or might not be needed anymore. That hurts alot, just as much when they find out what they are needed for. Murmur really seemed hurt thinking about why she came to existence and the sorrow in her eyes made me want to cry. But I'm also very glad to see Murmur be confident that it's just a step to heal.
"a bad beginning doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending" yes!! this really helped me understand the concept of non human alters, thank you so much
It was nice to meet you Murmer!!! You are so strong! Thank you for coming out to speak, we all are very grateful that you came to educate us and help us learn more about you!! Lots of love!
this makes my non-human alter feel so loved and seen, he has no name but hes a force that protects the system, he's almost like a shadow, not there but there all the time, thank you for putting yourself out here and thank you mumur so so much
This touched me. I feel so sad and sorry for everything that happened in the past that required Murmer's creation. It was an honor to hear her speak, and I know it must have been extremely difficult. Thank you so much Murmer, for all you do to protect and support the system. I wish all of you peace and happiness. 💚 You are loved.
Thank you for having the confidence to do this. It really raises awareness and it's really brave to do something like this. I honestly hope everyone the best. ❤
Thank you ❤️
I love that she wants to be more inclusive with the system and wants to talk more. I'd love to hear more from her.
I’m so happy that Murmer feels safe with the community. You can hear the sadness and slight anger and I just hope all of us can make Murmer feel a bit of joy and happiness knowing that she is appreciated. Wishing the best for the system 💜
Thank you Murmer for coming out and introducing yourself, it is very nice to meet you. And thank you Kaya and Mike for assisting her through all the way. I always admire you guys on how you are so inclusive, supportive and welcoming of everyone in the system. I believe that allows many of the alters to also be open and share their feelings, thoughts and experiences. I learn a lot from you - it helps me also establish better relationships with people around me.
That's so lovely to hear, thank you so much ❤️
Murmur, I am new to this channel & find myself in a situation where I feel the need to learn more about DID to better understand and help a family member. I truly appreciate you coming forward & I appreciate the strength it took for you to do so. You introduced me to a whole new aspect of DID that I was unfamiliar with before. I hope that you & any other non-human alters continue to speak up as I feel it's important for people to understand that you all do exist & why. That being said, I'd like to say thank you. Sincerely.
Murmer Seems To Be Very Calm, I Must Say It Is Lovely To Meet Her. :)
She is generally very calm! Almost disconcertingly calm sometimes
@DissociaDID Disconcertingly how? In the way that she's so calm, she can appear indifferent at times or something?
This is the first video I’ve every watched of a DID creator such as yourselves (I really hope I’m using the correct wording) and while I don’t have DID I do have Austism and ADHD and am working through traumas from my own childhood because of this. Listening to Murmer…I see much of myself. I saddened by such the sorrow in Murmer’s eyes tone of their voice, but there is also such strength and resolve. Murmer, every word you spoke I listened to, I absorbed, I respected. I am thankful you made this video, as you’ve opened my eyes to the reality of DID. Thank you for teaching me, and I wish you all success and happiness.
Thank you to Murmer for sharing her views and experience in the system. It's also astonishing how much she understands of systems. She's clearly really smart and has a deep understanding of how everything works and how she came to be. Thank you for sharing 🩷
I think she knows a lot more than we assumed, we wouldn't have known had she not filmed this! ❤️
"A bad beginning doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending." Coming from you, Murmur, that is a POWERFUL message. Thank you.
it’s lovely to meet you murmer, thank you for making this video! lots of love to the system
Somehow I never saw this video until now... It's so heavy, I was nearly in tears. I'm glad Murmur did this so that she could be seen and heard. Her words were incredibly poignant. She's so strong. I got the impression that she feels her role is small because she's asleep a lot, but she plays such a huge role. Much love. You're an incredible system.
There should be an Alters Appreciate Day ❤ all alters deserve to be seen and heard and to heal and be appreciated for all the hard work that goes into helping each other function and survive. You are all amazing and so strong and deserve all the happiness and love 🎉
There is a System Pride Day that exists!
@@DissociaDID YAY!!!! I'm so glad it does!
I’ve watched all your videos and dont think ive ever been brought to tears SO quickly as i did when Murmer said “i was made because a child thought they were going to die…. And now im needed just so that we can shower” really puts into words how childhood trauma can fuck up your entire life going forward and how the tiniest of mundane tasks can become torture because of it.
Hearing Murmer talk is so soothing. She has such a gentle voice. Also I can relate to keeping to oneself. Solitude can be surprisingly comforting sometimes.
Kya grounding and self-soothing after the switch by rubbing her arms and speaking to herself was EXACTLY how I handled dissasociating after SA-related trauma in college. I didn't realize it til later that I was experiencing dissasociation especially since I thought amnesia was a requirement for dissasociation. Thank you Murmer, Kya, Mike, and the rest of the system for the channel and videos like this. I don't have DID but it helps me understand people who do, as well as trauma responses and a bit of what my body and mind went through during the SA-related trauma. There are now words and explanations to how I felt other than "tired" and "out of it". I've been binging some of your videos recently and I'm so grateful to have found this channel! Much love and many hugs to your entire system!
As a system with quite a few mermaid alters from water related traumas its always really comforting to see other systems have similar experiences.
Obviously never good that people experienced the traumas, but that we're not alone.
i didnt understand non human alters before watching this video but you all really have opened my mind and helped me understand why non human alters appear, thank you so much. murmer's tone and stillness gave me chills but mostly made me really sympathetic, you all are so strong and I wish I could hug you. sending my love to you all
There is this almost haunting deep sadness in Murmer's eyes. It's heartbreaking to imagine what might have happened to them in the past. Sending you lots of love. You are very strong for sharing your story one here. Thank you for your work! ❤
Thank you so much Murmurs for opening to us and giving yourself a voice. You absolutely deserve to be heard. With love from Germany.
Murmer the pain you must feel and hold is unimaginable but despite saying you have only recently begun to speak, you have a powerful voice and a even more powerful message and I hope you know we all see you and hear you ❤
I can see why she’s friends with Jade, both such amazing strong alters. You should be so proud Murmer, that was so brave and profound, thank you for doing it.
Nice to meet you Murmer. I hope you have a great day and thank you for introducing yourself!
I watched this video the day you uploaded it but I’m back watching it again because I can’t stop thinking about it. And I just finished it for the second time and I’m sobbing seeing how much pain Murmer is in.
I’m sure just because she can’t drown doesn’t mean having those flashbacks are any less painful emotionally for her.
She said she wants to be included more in the system. I really hope you can all find a way to make that happen. It’s completely breaking my heart that she’s so isolated in the inner word and must feel so alone.
Murmer, I can see how much pain you’re in and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through and everything you continue to go through. I can’t even imagine constantly having to deal with flashbacks that no one else can handle. I have C-PTSD and when I have flashbacks it’s so completely overwhelming.
You’re so strong Murmer, but I’m so sorry you’ve had to be. I wish I could hug you (only if you wanted a hug) and take your pain away. I’m just so fucking sorry.
I really hope the system finds a way to improve communication and you can all talk more and you can have your needs met. You deserve to have happiness in your life. You deserve to have so much happiness. I really, really want that for you. I’m sending you so much love 💕
Those pauses speak volumes. You can see it in their eyes that Murmer know what she wants to say, she's just struggling to articulate her thoughts in a manner that would be easily understood by those who don't share their experience, or at least it reads like that to me
That's exactly what was happening. She isn't used to speaking at all so talking to an audience... It was hard for her to articulate strong emotions and trauma in a gentle way
I dont wanna bog this down with a comment that doesn't reflect the weight of this video, but I know comments are how videos get shared around the algorithm. This was very mind opening, I appreciate the effort this must have taken to create.❤
Watching this was hard. My empathy made me feel all kinds of things, I had to pause the video a few times. But I wanted to see this, wanted to understand. I've been learning so much from all of you.
Just imagining how it must feel to know you exist for such a reason... I cannot put that into words. Thank you for filming this, Murmer, for being here. We see you, we listen and we appreciate your being here.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I can relate, and I admire how carefully you worded this!
I have so many words but no way to describe my gratefulness for this. Your bravery Murmer to share with us has made me feel seen, valid, and understood.. Thank you Murmer, I only wish happiness to you. - Sill
Hello Murmur, it is so nice to meet you! Please never feel like you are unimportant. You may just be one person in this big universe, but just by protecting your system you have saved so many people. And allowed them to build the DissociaDID project, which helped thousands of others around the world
She has such pain in her eyes. I'm super proud of her for being able to film this and talk about it. I could only imagine how hard it was. I'm super proud of all of you ❤️ I see you and I believe you Murmur, you did such a wonderful job
It was very nice to meet you Murmer! You did very well. We're all very appreciative of seeing you and we're super proud of you that you take this role in the system.
It was so wholesome seeing Kya comfort Murmur after she was done sharing. Thank you Kya, Mike, and Murmur for making this video.
Murmer! Your existence is not tiny. You saved a child. You helped them survive, you made a grown human being, they exist because of you. Now, you help your sistem, they're there because of you. You're all living, one step at a time, thanks to you. All of them must be so grateful for your big existance... You do so much for them
And now, you've reached thousands. You're anything but tiny, Murmer. You're heard, understood, loved, appreciated.
Thank you for being here
Sending y'all a hug that goes around all of ya at once! Sending love too! So sorry for your hurt......dear one! So honored to meet dearest Murmer! Thank you for being so brave!!! Please share again!