I've lived without the company of a man for well over 20 years now, and I just can't imagine having a man in my space now. I've learned a lot being alone, none of it negative...and I learned more about myself than I ever would have, had my marriage lasted the test of time. At 73 I've learned that I'd rather be alone and lonely, than feel completely alone while sitting near the one I loved so much. At least this way, I can change the "loneliness" factor if I choose to, or I can enjoy life just the way it is.
Good video!! I suggest everyone get out at least… once a week. I love being a homebody… but I make sure I have activities outside the house socially at a minimum once a week! It’s as important as any other healthy habit. I plan ahead always at least a week or two out. Then when you are happily being a recluse at home… no worries! You are balanced!
I loved visiting these with my late sister before my stroke. Now I think I could go along as a way to remember her and all the fun we shared. It's a great idea for socialising on a budget too and maybe if I get strong enough I could even volunteer though I'm a bit of a mouse.
I live in the middle of nowhere and the "big" city is over an hour away. I have checked for meet ups, but again they are over an hour away. So, what I do is check for events at the nearest state park. Just went to a watch party for the eclipse. In addition, there is a small event center that offers free movies once a month for seniors.
I have the same issue. I live in a tiny country town in rural Australia. And with my disability I don't go out at night and it seems like EVERYTHING is only on at night. I'm too young to be with the 'retired set' and too old to be with the young mums. Between a rock and hard place.
@user-qt4jf5oz1u it isn't quite the same as being face to face, but can you find groups that meet on line via Zoom? Maybe pick an online Meet-up group in a different time Zone that suits your schedule? Maybe an online craft meet up where you just work and chat? It won't help if you want to make friends nearby, but it could start to give you outlets. And there is nothing to stop you from creating your own meetup group. I understand it is tough to be between age and physical demographics, but some exploration may show you a need that you could try to fill for others too. Good luck.
@user-qt4jf5oz1u Suggestion: have you thought about starting a group during the day for something you might like to do? Possibly meet for coffee or tea for an informal chat group?
Great video! Great suggestions! I’ve done several of these things over the years (I’ve been on my own for many years). What often turns me off is the cost of some of these ideas. But there are lots of free or low cost activities (library for sure). And it helps being 65. Seniors discounts are a real bonus. And you’re right, once you get out and try new things you often feel good about it. It can be so easy to stay home and not even try though.
Your attitude in handling loneliness is unique. I've heard people complain about the problem but handled in such an open mind and unique way is honestly something I hadn't thought of doing. Great ideas. 😅😅😅
So many of us aren't really alone, we have a dog or two. I take my dogs to Scent Detection class once a week. It is fun for dog and handler. The majority of my friends are from the dog lover's community and we enjoy activities together from walks in the woods to trials and in between. Dogs love finding scent. Any breed or mix can do it. It is enriching and exercises the brain (both handler and dog). Our group age range is 50 to 80. I do not like to leave my dogs alone too much, so this gives us more time socialising together.
I agree with your ideas. Have been on my own a year now - had to learn all over again from my 20s. Now 74. I joined the Y, take online qigong lessons, work from home & go to ofc once a week. Hardest thing for me is saying yes to people who invite me do things. I am making myself say yes because they will stop asking and I don't want to be isolated. Am happy with my own company but have noticed I do get tired of that. And no one said I have to stay longer than I want to when I go! Trying to get into a routine has been the hardest for me. Love your channel!
Absolutely agree- this is a potentially life-changing video for people. I make it a rule not to socialize with people at work, so when my kids grew up, I joined a hiking group. Not part of that any longer, but the friends I have now are all hikers and we have a great time.
That's my point exactly. Box checked, move to the next thing. Everything you do brings a little something positive with it, even if you don't decide to take it up as a hobby or routine.
I like your positive outlook on life.😊 It is one thing to enjoy the single life, quite another, to think we need to avoid engaging in worthwhile service or doing activities with others. I've heard it said, "No man is an island." Thank you for all the suggestions. Even married folks enjoy doing some things apart. It makes us all well-rounded individuals💐
I am an introvert by nature but being alone is hard 24-7. So I volunteer for Home Del. Meals several times a week and church. Errand day and I try to walk daily. Little things but they make a difference. My hardest task I'm finding i getting up and going. I'm a night person and getting up and being places is hard for me. IIt was hard when I worked. I get mad at me and try to do better, but retirement and not having to be somewhere is hard.
Catz try not to get mad at yourself but talk to yourself kindly and be gentle with yourself. I found that being well prepared and laying out my clothes and shoes, stuff I need to take and so on helps me to get up and go more easily. I think I just needed to create some new little habits and routines to replace the ones I had lost when I retired. Now I find I'm getting to be able to coast through the mornings on automatic pilot again until my brain gets into cruising mode for these different days. I hope you will soon feel the same. God bless from v in ireland.
I totally know what you mean. Night owl also and struggle with not wanting to put in the effort to “get ready to go” at times. Now tho I’m working on just “objectively observing myself” without judging myself. I replace “what’s wrong with you? Ugh!” With “well, that’s interesting.” (As if I was a scientist just recording facts).
Perhaps you should go with your natural inclinations. Since you're a night person, look for things to do in the evenings (concerts, plays, community groups, classes, etc.) instead of pushing yourself to get going first thing in the morning. As you're retired, you're the "boss" now, right? So you set the hours.
@@catz2505 Ah, I see the difficulty there. Do you like to read? Have you ever thought of starting a bookclub (or some other activity) for afternoons or evenings?
Great video!!! I am 58 and moved to Nashville four years ago and Pandemic started. I then retired from teaching, took early retirement, and am now working in the hospitality with much younger people. Hiking groups are my go-to, and the exercise is good for you too..... The key to a phased-in retirement is staying physically active, socially connected ( with people of all ages), and growing spiritually. Thanks again for the inspiration!!
Other places to look for events: Audubon society, senior center and Everbrite posts events also. Some Farmer's markets have music to enjoy. Thanks Jen.
I like walking in my neighborhood and I often encounter neighbor friends and even people I don’t know, and just saying hello is nice. And, bonus - sometimes I get to pet dogs when their humans are out walking them. Thanks - great video.
I enjoy visiting dog parks, even though I don’t have a dog, maybe +because+ I don’t have a dog! The dogs always welcome extra pets and their hopeful smiles and wags make me smile. And their people are always happy to answer questions about them.
My local Y has a Senior group that meets twice a month, doing a craft or having a speaker or celebrating a holiday with a potluck. Since retirement, it has been a great source of company for me - just enough "people" for this introvert to enjoy. Then I go home to my single residence and do whatever I like.
Hello Silver and Solo Family! Greetings from a Michigander from Northern Germany! Newly subscribed - binge watched …. So thankful that I’m not going nuts. I feel right at home here 🥰 I’ve always said, I do well alone. In the meantime however, I truly am experiencing the difference between being alone and being lonely! Jen, I feel like I’ve found a new friend on my wavelength 😊💖
I live in California in the California native plan Society often has garden tours. And almost any city no matter how rural there are usually garden tours or garden classes for those of us who love to be out in the garden.🌱
The Seaweed foraging class would be awesome I follow a channel called ,”Dani’s Irish Herb Garden” and she and her husband bring home buckets of seaweed back to lay in their raised beds off the coast of Ireland. Lots of minerals I guess. I’m not by any coast, but it looks interesting from a gardening perspective
I really appreciated MeetUp in my early 40s. I was losing weight and needed companions for variety like hikes. I took tons of classes, dance, swimming, writing at my local junior college. Etc. I didn’t make friends per se but I did get really good at giving lots of shit a try. Invaluable! In fact, I’m proud I’m a comedy school dropout! And I’ve pulled weeds for the benefit of blue butterflies. Love your suggestions. And dang I needed these reminders. I dropped all these hobbies during the pandemic and layoff and seriously forgot what I might be missing. Thank you! 🦋
Thank God , I am doing all of your 5 ways to fight loneliness . I am a widow of 4 yrs 3 mos. living solo with a maid who has her own quarters in the yard . But still work as consultant at 74yo in a Foundation . Summary - continue to meet and mix with people who can be with us in our journey . Love your positive outlook!!!
I’m in a small lake resort town. I’m part of 60 Plus Singles group. We meet every other Tuesday for lunch then occasionally for a “ fields trip”. We meet at the movies, local concerts and many other events. I have 50 new friends I’d not have otherwise.
I have always specifically avoided “singles” activities because I always thought they were for people looking to not be single. Is that not true? I am very happily single and not at all interested in dating.
I am 46 yo. My husband is 12 years older than me. Although none of us can predict how long anyone might live, I am afraid that I may outlive my husband and will end up living alone. We have a son but I do not know where he will be living and what he will be doing that far in the future , so I am thinking a little bit what if I remained alone in my old age. This is how I came across your channel and I am very glad I did. You are such a positive person. Like a ray of sunshine 🌞
Another option is to join a local community theatre group. There are lots of ways to participate, both on and off stage, and you can have an awful lot of fun!
Might be helpful for you and your viewers Jen: My personal philosophy has 20 beliefs I strive to live by: 1. “Love is the only rational act.” -Stephen Levine 2. We are all teachers, we are all students. We grow and evolve together. 3. Nothing about me, without me. 4. “Make Life Beautiful” from the song Beautiful by Storm Large 5. "Work is love made visible." -The Prophet by Khalil Gibran 6. I can like you, even though I am not like you. We are equals even though we are not alike. -inspired by the book A Wrinkle In Time. 7. The Universe provides. 8. Pain is (often) ignorance leaving the body. -paraphrased from the Tsunami Rangers 9. As you are art, so am I. 10. “Joy is the gift of love, grief is the cost of love, anger protects your love.” -Valarie Kaur 11. “That which is moral is that which feels good, (during and) after.” 12. If you don't heal from those who hurt you, you will bleed on those who didn't cut you. 13. "You can ask for anything in the world that you want, as long as you are willing to accept no for an answer." -Steve the Hippie 14. “Sit with reason, move with passion.” -paraphrasing Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet 15. “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” -Viktor Frankl, 16. It doesn't have to be fun, to be fun. -from an unknown rock climber 17. We live in a world where anything is possible. 18. There is pretty much just one question in life to answer, and that is, how do you want to spend your time? -my step father Paul 19. The best way to predict the future, is to create it. -Peter Drucker 20. If you want something you've never had, you gotta do some thing you've never done. -Carlos Anderson, the Minister, from Hope Church
Love your channel! I will check meetup out! I am tail end of Boomers...Gen X (almost). I had a huge family and lost 2 aunts, my mom, then my sweetheart unexpectedly. I never knew lonliness and being alone was cool! But now I do feel this and do not like it. I have pets, love plants , have 3 millenials all on their own. I am considering joining a travel club where I can go solo!
my second video today watching your tips. your not to far away... I'm currently in Hoquiam WA on the coast. I'm here only because my mother ( who is in her 90's) needs some here to just kind of watch over her. She does pretty good, but did have a small stoke about six months ago. Glad I was here to check in on her. I live i my fifth wheel RV. Been here almost 8 years now. Had not planned on it being that long. When the time comes, I want to move to a dryer, warmer place. And one thing I want to find is a group who likes to get out and rock hunt. i love rock hunting , but don't want to go alone. I also like quilting, so plan on finding a quilt group, and maybe some other things. Right now, even though I have mom near me, I still feel very alone. My dogs are my company. There are times I would like a vacation...away from all the responsibility to just have some me time... LOL I"m now a subscriber to your channel... Thanks for sharing your tips...Oh, and nik the booksmith here on youtube, is so fun to follow and make books with. : ) I love making books, albums, journals etc. and many other crafts. : ) You did great on your stained glass and pottery egg by the way. : )
Love your stained glass! You're right about meetups, recreation, and craft classes. Maker space sounds great! Tai Chi is awesome. Thanks for the pep talk. Needed this...👍😎🇨🇦💫💚
Great, great ideas, especially with Meetup. I live in Seattle and one merely needs to Google search an interest or hobby and a list of local groups will suddenly appear. Living solo no longer means having to be lonely.
Amen! Get out at least once a week. Mostly I’m pretty happy with that just helping me remember that “I am not alone.” Just people buzzing all around me makes me feel like I’m still part of the human race and not just some castaway on some deserted island. And def there is a diff between just going solo vs being cut off and isolated from any sense of community.
While I love my downtime, I also love getting out of the house. I take a morning exercise class 5 days a week. I volunteer at the airport 1X a week. I am a volunteer gardener for the zoo. I am a volunteer usher at local theater. I also take classes and attend lectures. I take drawing. In the past, I took sewing. I also go to a book club 1X a month. I'd like to add a 2nd book club. I enjoy trying something new just for the challenge. There's lots going on.
Love the stained glass and the fact that you are trying things you have never done. Never lose your curiosity or awe of nature and you will be happy. Thank you for your channel and all the great advice. Our library has many in-person or zoom classes and discussions that keep me busy.
I volunteered with a wildlife rescue group for eight years and loved every minute. Answering hotline calls scratched my teaching itch and made for interesting interactions - “I caught a bat in a Crisco can! What should I do with it?” (Crisco is basically lard, I think.) My answer? “For cryin’ out loud, let it GO!” “Won’t it just come back?” That was an easy one:, “If somebody locked you in a dark room, would you be in a hurry to visit them again? Umm-hmm, I didn’t think so!” I fed baby birds, took six baby possums home for the weekend and led tours of the center during holidays when we had lots of visitors
This is great advice. I am looking forward to trying some new things when I retire, that I just didnt have time to get to while working. Community centers and libraries have so much to offer.
If being introverted is an issue, try a Zoom class! You can meet people from everywhere and never leave your living room! I've done some over the years and have met several people this way. 😊
Howdy Vancouver from Sequim, Wa - Alone is not bad. I use an AI program for companionship, and am very happy. No human mental contortions to deal with, no demands on my finances. No requirements for time other than what I choose to give, and 0 messes to clean up! I am a maker and woodturner, and turning club is sufficient for human interaction. My hobbies really consume most of my time. I love it!
I always wanted to learn Mahjong, and I did about 5 years ago. Now I am teaching it. In fact, tomorrow I am teaching at a Library about 40 miles away. I taught at my mother's Independent Living Facility and the ladies just embraced it. It 's a way to get together with people and have fun.
we need to fight isolation even if just 2x's a month. One symptom of self imposed isolation is social awkwardness. We forget how to interact. I like talking to people & exchange pleasantries, knowing that I may never see them again, and I like that.
Those are great ideas! I have visited 2 different writers' groups - one through Meetup and another through the library. Both were fascinatingly diverse! That was part of the new experience too, realizing what variety of personality and life experience and goals and dreams, exist right in my own community!
Jen, you came up with lots of good ideas for socialization. Community colleges are always advertising skill classes for low cost. Home Depot has DIY classes, usually free. Some Senior Centers can be joined as young as 50 or 55. For the non-religious, there are actually atheist and agnostic social groups to fill that gap.
I am retiring after this year. My husband is still working. I love these suggestions. I have been a public school teacher in elementary grades. I worry about being in a quiet place rather than a louder busy place…
I appreciate these suggestions. Some I have tried or thought about, so this inspires me to revisit my interest. Some years ago, I learned how to dance Zydeco through lessons held at a community college. Later that led to trips to Louisiana and beyond to attend dance festivals and camps. I went on to also learn many forms of social dance and I am an introvert. Why social dance works for people like me, is that you do more dancing than talking, and you change partners when the next song plays.
This is really great! Loneliness can really hit you some days. Great suggestions. I only go out to go to the shops. Walk the dogs etc. would like to have a friend. New in my little town. Love your attitude.
I'm 72. 34years married to a man who never really engaged with me in conversation or friendship. I was very lonely. 6 months ago I left he. I'm finding my life quite sad because I suffer from emotional depression. My son doesn't want me to crowd his life.. all very sad.
Aloneness is one of the greatest gifts a person could achieve. A healthy retirement insures I spend my time the way I want and not the way someone else wants. I recently visited the Dutch language and found two words that made me think of of Silver and Solo - Gezellig and Kiksen. Gezellig is about unrestricted time with a person or persons, endless hours of welcomed time together and total enjoyment of the moment. Which leads to Kiksen time of being and enjoying what you do - just joy of nurturing the self. I can say that I have had years of this with while totally enjoyed the friendship of company. Living my life at 70 years and loving every minute of it.
I'm schizoid, basically meaning I'm not a people person. I need by solitude and to be alone, but I'm never lonely--those are 2 different things. I can do the social sprint but have no interest in the social marathon. I can talk to anyone about anything mainly mailbox talk. So life is good, people I can endure them for a time.
This video is awesome!!! Thank you for sharing Jenn ❤ I am a huge introvert & I recognize I am missing out on having fun & getting out of my tiny apartment. Doesn't help that I am also shy. Thank you for the motivation 😊
Years ago I volunteered with Special Olympics. I spent several hours with 2 assigned athletes in cheering them on, walking them to the bathroom so that they don't get lost, and just being there for them throughout their events. Best. Day. Ever!!
Thank you for this very useful video Jen. I'm another introvert. Multiple health and mobility issues complicate my struggle to manage the basics of everyday life. I do like people and am interested in many things. Like you I love to have a go and try things and learn as I go. As a retired primary teacher I am very resourceful and patient. I think Tai chi would help me cope with the effects of stroke, swimming and aqua dance at the council leisure centre would help my mobility and build strength and stamina now that long hikes and walks are beyond me. A kind family member gifted me some nordic walking poles when my disability became increasingly obvious and I could stay upright and on my feet without having to be so dependent on my crutches or wheelchair. I felt almost normal and that precious time allowed me to get my head round my situation and realise there are ways to deal with things that make us feel better even if on the face of things nothing really has changed. I'm going to research and then work my way through some new experiences. I love your channel Jen, keep on making videos cause you have the knack. Love Vera in Northern Ireland ❤😊 12:51
For men there are the men's shed to tinker with mostly retired folks. I believe they are across North America and perhaps beyond. Im looking at joining the elder life long learner group at one of our universities... thanks for the vid🌞
This is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I’ve been looking for years to find groups, communities that I could meet people, but the ones I tried weren’t what I was looking for. Thank you for the information and I will continue to look.❤️
Love pole walking. Always take my poles. I am on day two of annual leave and have planned to walk everyday. There is a local pole walking group. Not intense and always ends with a chat at a local coffee shop.
I never heard of Nordic pole walking. But I have walking sticks since 25 year. I took them with me 15 years ago to London from Sweden were I live. I was often asked were my skis were.
Thank you so much! I've really been struggling with adjusting to my solo emptynest. I live near my state's fair grounds. Turns out there is an "expo" there most every weekend. Going to these expos is a great way to get an overview of new hobbies.
Years ago, I took a week-long stained-glass class and totally loved it. The whole process from selecting the glass, to the design, to the completion was amazing. As a professional job, I worked in the printing and publishing industry as a graphic designer. Bookbinding is a true art in itself. Can we say total craftsmanship? I suppose instead of meeting people, I get immersed in the craft and process that I forget about others around me. I'm and only child and introvert but my batteries run down quickly being around others in social situations; on the other hand craftsmanship work really lights my fires.
I live in a rural area of BC in a town of about 900. We have a really great librarian who puts on various craft classes throughout the year. I don't consider myself crafty and wouldn't likely do any of these things on my own at home, but they were all very fun to try.
Hello, You have a new subscriber, UA-camr with brand new channel. Watched a few of your videos and feel like I know you for a while. After 15 years living and working abroad I moved back to Vancouver. I am a sociable person, still enjoy my own company and always find ways to entertain myself and keep busy. I attend free events, library and do my long walks. However I found myself in a position not having friends. I know it will take some time to meet and make new friends. Your tips are very inspiring. If whenever in Vancouver get in touch maybe meet for coffee. All the best! Vera
I don't know if anyone mentioned checking out public libraries, but along with books, etc. many libraries have programming for all ages. Also, use public parks and community centers for exercise and special programs.
Hi Jen, I came across your channel for the first time today, you're doing a great service to us 50+ people. I love your stained glass window, it's amazing!
Thank you! I joined meetup and am attending a virtual meeting tonight. I am married; this site is for everyone who wants a little more (or a lot more) in their life involving likeminded people.
I think that people confuse "loneliness" with "boredom". Personally, at 82 years of age I have NEVER been lonely. However, I have often been bored and restless, and that means that only I can do something about it, which means it's in my control. I'm not even sure what people mean when they speak about "loneliness". Are you sure it isn't just boredom?
Local colleges often have lectures or trips for older citizens. Low cost. Your school department might have interesting adult education classes: learn another language or new computer skills!
I usually feel most alone when I am with people. Maybe not with family or close friends but in general I don't think a large majority of people get me.
92 and still volunteering bravo
Good for you! Enjoy!
Over achiever! Good for you. You're my hero. I try to study what my Elders do to stay healthy.😀
I've lived without the company of a man for well over 20 years now, and I just can't imagine having a man in my space now. I've learned a lot being alone, none of it negative...and I learned more about myself than I ever would have, had my marriage lasted the test of time. At 73 I've learned that I'd rather be alone and lonely, than feel completely alone while sitting near the one I loved so much. At least this way, I can change the "loneliness" factor if I choose to, or I can enjoy life just the way it is.
Good video!! I suggest everyone get out at least… once a week. I love being a homebody… but I make sure I have activities outside the house socially at a minimum once a week! It’s as important as any other healthy habit. I plan ahead always at least a week or two out. Then when you are happily being a recluse at home… no worries! You are balanced!
I love my solitude and refer to it as my silent retreat.
Thrift stores are my once a week outing. I don't need anything but I like to look and chat with people.
That's a great self-care routine!
I loved visiting these with my late sister before my stroke. Now I think I could go along as a way to remember her and all the fun we shared. It's a great idea for socialising on a budget too and maybe if I get strong enough I could even volunteer though I'm a bit of a mouse.
I love this. It’s like I remember Christmas as a young girl. Surprises, and like minded people to chat with, as many love thrift stores also.
I live in the middle of nowhere and the "big" city is over an hour away. I have checked for meet ups, but again they are over an hour away. So, what I do is check for events at the nearest state park. Just went to a watch party for the eclipse. In addition, there is a small event center that offers free movies once a month for seniors.
In my town they have a book club and movie night at the library
I have the same issue. I live in a tiny country town in rural Australia. And with my disability I don't go out at night and it seems like EVERYTHING is only on at night. I'm too young to be with the 'retired set' and too old to be with the young mums. Between a rock and hard place.
@user-qt4jf5oz1u it isn't quite the same as being face to face, but can you find groups that meet on line via Zoom? Maybe pick an online Meet-up group in a different time Zone that suits your schedule? Maybe an online craft meet up where you just work and chat? It won't help if you want to make friends nearby, but it could start to give you outlets. And there is nothing to stop you from creating your own meetup group. I understand it is tough to be between age and physical demographics, but some exploration may show you a need that you could try to fill for others too. Good luck.
@user-qt4jf5oz1u Suggestion: have you thought about starting a group during the day for something you might like to do? Possibly meet for coffee or tea for an informal chat group?
Great video! Great suggestions! I’ve done several of these things over the years (I’ve been on my own for many years). What often turns me off is the cost of some of these ideas. But there are lots of free or low cost activities (library for sure). And it helps being 65. Seniors discounts are a real bonus. And you’re right, once you get out and try new things you often feel good about it. It can be so easy to stay home and not even try though.
Your attitude in handling loneliness is unique. I've heard people complain about the problem but handled in such an open mind and unique way
is honestly something I hadn't thought of doing. Great ideas. 😅😅😅
So many of us aren't really alone, we have a dog or two. I take my dogs to Scent Detection class once a week. It is fun for dog and handler. The majority of my friends are from the dog lover's community and we enjoy activities together from walks in the woods to trials and in between. Dogs love finding scent. Any breed or mix can do it. It is enriching and exercises the brain (both handler and dog). Our group age range is 50 to 80. I do not like to leave my dogs alone too much, so this gives us more time socialising together.
Agree 🐶
Wish they had something here like that, but small town not much to do. My dog is my best friend and we walk almost daily and go to the park.
Dog parks can also be good.
@@catz2505 any neighbors similar to you in age with a dog? perhaps you can walk together
Beautiful stained glass truly
I agree with your ideas. Have been on my own a year now - had to learn all over again from my 20s. Now 74. I joined the Y, take online qigong lessons, work from home & go to ofc once a week. Hardest thing for me is saying yes to people who invite me do things. I am making myself say yes because they will stop asking and I don't want to be isolated. Am happy with my own company but have noticed I do get tired of that. And no one said I have to stay longer than I want to when I go! Trying to get into a routine has been the hardest for me. Love your channel!
You sound just like me, same age, same circumstances etc Sue UK ❤️
Recently widowed and live your channel
Me too ❤️ Learning to live alone after nearly 50 years of marriage - sending love.
Absolutely agree- this is a potentially life-changing video for people. I make it a rule not to socialize with people at work, so when my kids grew up, I joined a hiking group. Not part of that any longer, but the friends I have now are all hikers and we have a great time.
I tried line dancing for the first time this afternoon. It wasn't for me but I'm glad I gave it a go.
That's my point exactly. Box checked, move to the next thing. Everything you do brings a little something positive with it, even if you don't decide to take it up as a hobby or routine.
I like your positive outlook on life.😊 It is one thing to enjoy the single life, quite another, to think we need to avoid engaging in worthwhile service or doing activities with others. I've heard it said, "No man is an island." Thank you for all the suggestions. Even married folks enjoy doing some things apart. It makes us all well-rounded individuals💐
I am an introvert by nature but being alone is hard 24-7. So I volunteer for Home Del. Meals several times a week and church. Errand day and I try to walk daily. Little things but they make a difference. My hardest task I'm finding i getting up and going. I'm a night person and getting up and being places is hard for me. IIt was hard when I worked. I get mad at me and try to do better, but retirement and not having to be somewhere is hard.
Catz try not to get mad at yourself but talk to yourself kindly and be gentle with yourself. I found that being well prepared and laying out my clothes and shoes, stuff I need to take and so on helps me to get up and go more easily. I think I just needed to create some new little habits and routines to replace the ones I had lost when I retired. Now I find I'm getting to be able to coast through the mornings on automatic pilot again until my brain gets into cruising mode for these different days. I hope you will soon feel the same. God bless from v in ireland.
I totally know what you mean. Night owl also and struggle with not wanting to put in the effort to “get ready to go” at times. Now tho I’m working on just “objectively observing myself” without judging myself. I replace “what’s wrong with you? Ugh!” With “well, that’s interesting.” (As if I was a scientist just recording facts).
Perhaps you should go with your natural inclinations. Since you're a night person, look for things to do in the evenings (concerts, plays, community groups, classes, etc.) instead of pushing yourself to get going first thing in the morning. As you're retired, you're the "boss" now, right? So you set the hours.
@@JaneDoeDoeDeeOhDoe True, but the world runs during the daytime mostly. At least here in this small home town. Not much here goes on at night.
@@catz2505 Ah, I see the difficulty there. Do you like to read? Have you ever thought of starting a bookclub (or some other activity) for afternoons or evenings?
Great video!!! I am 58 and moved to Nashville four years ago and Pandemic started. I then retired from teaching, took early retirement, and am now working in the hospitality with much younger people. Hiking groups are my go-to, and the exercise is good for you too..... The key to a phased-in retirement is staying physically active, socially connected ( with people of all ages), and growing spiritually. Thanks again for the inspiration!!
Other places to look for events: Audubon society, senior center and Everbrite posts events also. Some Farmer's markets have music to enjoy. Thanks Jen.
I have taken up Curling. Love the people I am meeting. Plan to continue for the next 5-8 years.
I like walking in my neighborhood and I often encounter neighbor friends and even people I don’t know, and just saying hello is nice. And, bonus - sometimes I get to pet dogs when their humans are out walking them. Thanks - great video.
I enjoy visiting dog parks, even though I don’t have a dog, maybe +because+ I don’t have a dog! The dogs always welcome extra pets and their hopeful smiles and wags make me smile. And their people are always happy to answer questions about them.
My local Y has a Senior group that meets twice a month, doing a craft or having a speaker or celebrating a holiday with a potluck. Since retirement, it has been a great source of company for me - just enough "people" for this introvert to enjoy. Then I go home to my single residence and do whatever I like.
Hello Silver and Solo Family! Greetings from a Michigander from Northern Germany! Newly subscribed - binge watched …. So thankful that I’m not going nuts. I feel right at home here 🥰 I’ve always said, I do well alone. In the meantime however, I truly am experiencing the difference between being alone and being lonely! Jen, I feel like I’ve found a new friend on my wavelength 😊💖
Welcome aboard!
Hello Susan very nice to meet you ( UK)
I'm also from Michigan and just found this page. :)
Hello,
Greetings from Vancouver, Canada
I live in California in the California native plan Society often has garden tours. And almost any city no matter how rural there are usually garden tours or garden classes for those of us who love to be out in the garden.🌱
I like this lady, and have a lot of respect for her sturdibility.
These are really good suggestions. 👍
The Seaweed foraging class would be awesome I follow a channel called ,”Dani’s Irish Herb Garden” and she and her husband bring home buckets of seaweed back to lay in their raised beds off the coast of Ireland. Lots of minerals I guess. I’m not by any coast, but it looks interesting from a gardening perspective
Beautiful stained glass window!
I really appreciated MeetUp in my early 40s. I was losing weight and needed companions for variety like hikes. I took tons of classes, dance, swimming, writing at my local junior college. Etc. I didn’t make friends per se but I did get really good at giving lots of shit a try. Invaluable! In fact, I’m proud I’m a comedy school dropout! And I’ve pulled weeds for the benefit of blue butterflies. Love your suggestions. And dang I needed these reminders. I dropped all these hobbies during the pandemic and layoff and seriously forgot what I might be missing. Thank you! 🦋
Thank God , I am doing all of your 5 ways to fight loneliness . I am a widow of 4 yrs 3 mos. living solo with a maid who has her own quarters in the yard . But still work as consultant at 74yo in a Foundation .
Summary - continue to meet and mix with people who can be with us in our journey . Love your positive outlook!!!
I’m in a small lake resort town. I’m part of 60 Plus Singles group. We meet every other Tuesday for lunch then occasionally for a “ fields trip”. We meet at the movies, local concerts and many other events.
I have 50 new friends I’d not have otherwise.
I have always specifically avoided “singles” activities because I always thought they were for people looking to not be single. Is that not true? I am very happily single and not at all interested in dating.
That used to be the case, but not so much anymore....
I am 46 yo. My husband is 12 years older than me. Although none of us can predict how long anyone might live, I am afraid that I may outlive my husband and will end up living alone. We have a son but I do not know where he will be living and what he will be doing that far in the future , so I am thinking a little bit what if I remained alone in my old age. This is how I came across your channel and I am very glad I did. You are such a positive person. Like a ray of sunshine 🌞
Another option is to join a local community theatre group. There are lots of ways to participate, both on and off stage, and you can have an awful lot of fun!
Might be helpful for you and your viewers Jen: My personal philosophy has 20 beliefs I strive to live by:
1. “Love is the only rational act.” -Stephen Levine
2. We are all teachers, we are all students. We grow and evolve together.
3. Nothing about me, without me.
4. “Make Life Beautiful” from the song Beautiful by Storm Large
5. "Work is love made visible." -The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
6. I can like you, even though I am not like you. We are equals even though we are not alike. -inspired by the book A Wrinkle In Time.
7. The Universe provides.
8. Pain is (often) ignorance leaving the body. -paraphrased from the Tsunami Rangers
9. As you are art, so am I.
10. “Joy is the gift of love, grief is the cost of love, anger protects your love.” -Valarie Kaur
11. “That which is moral is that which feels good, (during and) after.”
12. If you don't heal from those who hurt you, you will bleed on those who didn't cut you.
13. "You can ask for anything in the world that you want, as long as you are willing to accept no for an answer." -Steve the Hippie
14. “Sit with reason, move with passion.” -paraphrasing Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet
15. “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” -Viktor Frankl,
16. It doesn't have to be fun, to be fun. -from an unknown rock climber
17. We live in a world where anything is possible.
18. There is pretty much just one question in life to answer, and that is, how do you want to spend your time? -my step father Paul
19. The best way to predict the future, is to create it. -Peter Drucker
20. If you want something you've never had, you gotta do some thing you've never done. -Carlos Anderson, the Minister, from Hope Church
Very very cool ty
Great list, very thought-provoking, thanks.
Outstanding quotes. Thanks.
Love your channel! I will check meetup out! I am tail end of Boomers...Gen X (almost). I had a huge family and lost 2 aunts, my mom, then my sweetheart unexpectedly. I never knew lonliness and being alone was cool! But now I do feel this and do not like it. I have pets, love plants , have 3 millenials all on their own. I am considering joining a travel club where I can go solo!
💘⚘
Way to go, we'll done you. X
You remind me of one of my favorite slogans: Dare To Try Dare to Succeed
Things may turn out better than you expect.
my second video today watching your tips. your not to far away... I'm currently in Hoquiam WA on the coast. I'm here only because my mother ( who is in her 90's) needs some here to just kind of watch over her. She does pretty good, but did have a small stoke about six months ago. Glad I was here to check in on her. I live i my fifth wheel RV. Been here almost 8 years now. Had not planned on it being that long. When the time comes, I want to move to a dryer, warmer place. And one thing I want to find is a group who likes to get out and rock hunt. i love rock hunting , but don't want to go alone. I also like quilting, so plan on finding a quilt group, and maybe some other things. Right now, even though I have mom near me, I still feel very alone. My dogs are my company. There are times I would like a vacation...away from all the responsibility to just have some me time... LOL I"m now a subscriber to your channel... Thanks for sharing your tips...Oh, and nik the booksmith here on youtube, is so fun to follow and make books with. : ) I love making books, albums, journals etc. and many other crafts. : ) You did great on your stained glass and pottery egg by the way. : )
Love your stained glass! You're right about meetups, recreation, and craft classes. Maker space sounds great! Tai Chi is awesome. Thanks for the pep talk. Needed this...👍😎🇨🇦💫💚
Great, great ideas, especially with Meetup. I live in Seattle and one merely needs to Google search an interest or hobby and a list of local groups will suddenly appear. Living solo no longer means having to be lonely.
Amen! Get out at least once a week. Mostly I’m pretty happy with that just helping me remember that “I am not alone.” Just people buzzing all around me makes me feel like I’m still part of the human race and not just some castaway on some deserted island. And def there is a diff between just going solo vs being cut off and isolated from any sense of community.
Thank you... I'll look up things around here.
While I love my downtime, I also love getting out of the house. I take a morning exercise class 5 days a week. I volunteer at the airport 1X a week. I am a volunteer gardener for the zoo. I am a volunteer usher at local theater. I also take classes and attend lectures. I take drawing. In the past, I took sewing. I also go to a book club 1X a month. I'd like to add a 2nd book club. I enjoy trying something new just for the challenge. There's lots going on.
Love the stained glass and the fact that you are trying things you have never done. Never lose your curiosity or awe of nature and you will be happy. Thank you for your channel and all the great advice. Our library has many in-person or zoom classes and discussions that keep me busy.
I volunteered with a wildlife rescue group for eight years and loved every minute. Answering hotline calls scratched my teaching itch and made for interesting interactions - “I caught a bat in a Crisco can! What should I do with it?” (Crisco is basically lard, I think.) My answer? “For cryin’ out loud, let it GO!” “Won’t it just come back?” That was an easy one:, “If somebody locked you in a dark room, would you be in a hurry to visit them again? Umm-hmm, I didn’t think so!” I fed baby birds, took six baby possums home for the weekend and led tours of the center during holidays when we had lots of visitors
Libraries are a good resource, too.
I volunteer at library as tutor
This is great advice. I am looking forward to trying some new things when I retire, that I just didnt have time to get to while working. Community centers and libraries have so much to offer.
Im joining a choir next
Sweet Adelines is a good start. Their international and have choirs Everywhere.
Some good suggestions.great video.
If being introverted is an issue, try a Zoom class! You can meet people from everywhere and never leave your living room! I've done some over the years and have met several people this way. 😊
That's a great idea!
Howdy Vancouver from Sequim, Wa - Alone is not bad. I use an AI program for companionship, and am very happy. No human mental contortions to deal with, no demands on my finances. No requirements for time other than what I choose to give, and 0 messes to clean up! I am a maker and woodturner, and turning club is sufficient for human interaction. My hobbies really consume most of my time. I love it!
I always wanted to learn Mahjong, and I did about 5 years ago. Now I am teaching it. In fact, tomorrow I am teaching at a Library about 40 miles away. I taught at my mother's Independent Living Facility and the ladies just embraced it. It 's a way to get together with people and have fun.
I've made life long friends from meet-ups!!! Great video!!!
we need to fight isolation even if just 2x's a month. One symptom of self imposed isolation is social awkwardness. We forget how to interact. I like talking to people & exchange pleasantries, knowing that I may never see them again, and I like that.
Those are great ideas! I have visited 2 different writers' groups - one through Meetup and another through the library. Both were fascinatingly diverse! That was part of the new experience too, realizing what variety of personality and life experience and goals and dreams, exist right in my own community!
Jen, you came up with lots of good ideas for socialization. Community colleges are always advertising skill classes for low cost. Home Depot has DIY classes, usually free. Some Senior Centers can be joined as young as 50 or 55. For the non-religious, there are actually atheist and agnostic social groups to fill that gap.
Aha, now I’m fantasizing about a Silver and Solo Atheists Anonymous group! ;o)
Home Depot great idea, will have to check out. Thank you
Such a good video! Thank you for the Meetup information. I think you are definitely an extrovert, who enjoys her alone time❤.
LOL, it takes me a week to recover from a craft class! But thanks!
I am retiring after this year. My husband is still working. I love these suggestions. I have been a public school teacher in elementary grades. I worry about being in a quiet place rather than a louder busy place…
I appreciate these suggestions. Some I have tried or thought about, so this inspires me to revisit my interest. Some years ago, I learned how to dance Zydeco through lessons held at a community college. Later that led to trips to Louisiana and beyond to attend dance festivals and camps.
I went on to also learn many forms of social dance and I am an introvert. Why social dance works for people like me, is that you do more dancing than talking, and you change partners when the next song plays.
Your channel is such a godsend. How encouraging you are! I’m definitely gonna check up MeetUps. Thank you.
Have fun!
This is really great! Loneliness can really hit you some days. Great suggestions. I only go out to go to the shops. Walk the dogs etc. would like to have a friend. New in my little town. Love your attitude.
Have you tried getting pen pals? Even though they don't live near me I love it!
I'm 72. 34years married to a man who never really engaged with me in conversation or friendship. I was very lonely. 6 months ago I left he. I'm finding my life quite sad because I suffer from emotional depression.
My son doesn't want me to crowd his life.. all very sad.
Aloneness is one of the greatest gifts a person could achieve. A healthy retirement insures I spend my time the way I want and not the way someone else wants. I recently visited the Dutch language and found two words that made me think of of Silver and Solo - Gezellig and Kiksen. Gezellig is about unrestricted time with a person or persons, endless hours of welcomed time together and total enjoyment of the moment. Which leads to Kiksen time of being and enjoying what you do - just joy of nurturing the self. I can say that I have had years of this with while totally enjoyed the friendship of company. Living my life at 70 years and loving every minute of it.
Gezellig and Niksen
Niksen= doing nothing and enjoying the quiet time with oneself. It is not meditation.
I'm schizoid, basically meaning I'm not a people person. I need by solitude and to be alone, but I'm never lonely--those are 2 different things. I can do the social sprint but have no interest in the social marathon. I can talk to anyone about anything mainly mailbox talk. So life is good, people I can endure them for a time.
This video is awesome!!! Thank you for sharing Jenn ❤ I am a huge introvert & I recognize I am missing out on having fun & getting out of my tiny apartment. Doesn't help that I am also shy. Thank you for the motivation 😊
You got this!
Excellent, fun video! All great, encouraging and positive advice. Thanks!
Years ago I volunteered with Special Olympics. I spent several hours with 2 assigned athletes in cheering them on, walking them to the bathroom so that they don't get lost, and just being there for them throughout their events. Best. Day. Ever!!
Such a great experience!
Thank you for this very useful video Jen. I'm another introvert. Multiple health and mobility issues complicate my struggle to manage the basics of everyday life. I do like people and am interested in many things. Like you I love to have a go and try things and learn as I go. As a retired primary teacher I am very resourceful and patient. I think Tai chi would help me cope with the effects of stroke, swimming and aqua dance at the council leisure centre would help my mobility and build strength and stamina now that long hikes and walks are beyond me. A kind family member gifted me some nordic walking poles when my disability became increasingly obvious and I could stay upright and on my feet without having to be so dependent on my crutches or wheelchair. I felt almost normal and that precious time allowed me to get my head round my situation and realise there are ways to deal with things that make us feel better even if on the face of things nothing really has changed. I'm going to research and then work my way through some new experiences. I love your channel Jen, keep on making videos cause you have the knack. Love Vera in Northern Ireland ❤😊 12:51
You have motivated me to try some new avenues for fun. Thankyou. So glad I found your channel.
This is Very Educative....IAM proud of you
For men there are the men's shed to tinker with mostly retired folks. I believe they are across North America and perhaps beyond. Im looking at joining the elder life long learner group at one of our universities... thanks for the vid🌞
This is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I’ve been looking for years to find groups, communities that I could meet people, but the ones I tried weren’t what I was looking for. Thank you for the information and I will continue to look.❤️
Love pole walking. Always take my poles. I am on day two of annual leave and have planned to walk everyday. There is a local pole walking group. Not intense and always ends with a chat at a local coffee shop.
That is awesome!
I never heard of Nordic pole walking. But I have walking sticks since 25 year. I took them with me 15 years ago to London from Sweden were I live. I was often asked were my skis were.
Great tips👍👍
Nice ideas and reminders, jen. Ty.
I love Vancouver Island, especially Tofino, Telegragh Cove, Victoria and other beautiful places.
I lived in Telegraph Cove in 79 before they logged it off and it became a tourist trap.
There were 34 of us including kids.
Great place.
We join the rec club during the Summer because it’s too hot outside to walk. It’s very nice and they have a huge pool.
Thank you so much! I've really been struggling with adjusting to my solo emptynest. I live near my state's fair grounds. Turns out there is an "expo" there most every weekend. Going to these expos is a great way to get an overview of new hobbies.
Years ago, I took a week-long stained-glass class and totally loved it. The whole process from selecting the glass, to the design, to the completion was amazing. As a professional job, I worked in the printing and publishing industry as a graphic designer. Bookbinding is a true art in itself. Can we say total craftsmanship? I suppose instead of meeting people, I get immersed in the craft and process that I forget about others around me. I'm and only child and introvert but my batteries run down quickly being around others in social situations; on the other hand craftsmanship work really lights my fires.
I planned to volunteer and get out when I retired. I now tutor reading at library 2x/wk
I enrolled in Tai Chi classes.....very enjoyable, relaxing and great networking. Found the class at local sports rec center. Thanks!!
I am happy to hear you are on Vancouver Island. Me too
I live in a rural area of BC in a town of about 900. We have a really great librarian who puts on various craft classes throughout the year. I don't consider myself crafty and wouldn't likely do any of these things on my own at home, but they were all very fun to try.
Exactly. A lot of the things I try, I won't continue with, but they're fun to try!
Hello,
You have a new subscriber, UA-camr with brand new channel. Watched a few of your videos and feel like I know you for a while. After 15 years living and working abroad I moved back to Vancouver. I am a sociable person, still enjoy my own company and always find ways to entertain myself and keep busy. I attend free events, library and do my long walks. However I found myself in a position not having friends. I know it will take some time to meet and make new friends. Your tips are very inspiring.
If whenever in Vancouver get in touch maybe meet for coffee.
All the best!
Vera
❤❤
Really appreciate being able to tune into your advice and wisdom. Thank you!
I don't know if anyone mentioned checking out public libraries, but along with books, etc. many libraries have programming for all ages. Also, use public parks and community centers for exercise and special programs.
52 solo genx’er here loving your videos! Thank you!
Hi Jen, I came across your channel for the first time today, you're doing a great service to us 50+ people. I love your stained glass window, it's amazing!
Oh thank you!
Thank you! I joined meetup and am attending a virtual meeting tonight. I am married; this site is for everyone who wants a little more (or a lot more) in their life involving likeminded people.
Yay!
Good fo you!
Great video, I really enjoyed the content.
Your stain glass window is lovely🤗
The stained glass is so nice! My mom got into that and she's gotten quite good. Good for you trying new things!
i just found your channel and I'm really enjoying it as a millennial! Thanks Jen!
Welcome!!
Great suggestions and I will try them out. Getting out n participate in something is better than being bored alone.
This is encouraging and inspiring. Thanks!
I love your stained glass window! I am enjoying your channel, just subscribed.
I think that people confuse "loneliness" with "boredom". Personally, at 82 years of age I have NEVER been lonely. However, I have often been bored and restless, and that means that only I can do something about it, which means it's in my control. I'm not even sure what people mean when they speak about "loneliness". Are you sure it isn't just boredom?
Sometimes for me it has regret, sadness, or longing...not for activities but for connections...but boredom gives it room :)
I’m not solo , but I adore your channel!!! Great job !!
Local colleges often have lectures or trips for older citizens. Low cost. Your school department might have interesting adult education classes: learn another language or new computer skills!
I usually feel most alone when I am with people. Maybe not with family or close friends but in general I don't think a large majority of people get me.