How much should I tell my partner about my past?

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  • Опубліковано 3 чер 2024
  • What should you share about your past? What should/can you keep from them? How do you decide and what do you say? Ill walk you through this process and help you decide what is best for you and your relationship.
    Get my course for FREE using the link below! It covers tools for dealing with negative self talk, developing better coping skills and much more!
    www.truetoyoucounseling.com/co...
    Reach out to me or submit your own anonymous questions at: truetoyoucounseling.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 65

  • @DianaBaldwinTherapist
    @DianaBaldwinTherapist  5 років тому +1

    Reach out for SUPPORT or ask a QUESTION at www.truetoyoucounseling.com

  • @oda1332
    @oda1332 3 роки тому +21

    Everything . Honest can save your relationship or your time .

  • @Anonymous061212
    @Anonymous061212 2 роки тому +44

    Tell them everything. Literally everything. If they leave, then they aren't the right person for you. We all have pasts and we all have made mistakes. The right person for you will appreciate your honesty and accept you and your past. Lack of disclosure is no different than lying.

    • @tabasumhameed8825
      @tabasumhameed8825 2 роки тому +6

      I told him each and everything about my past. But he rejected me

    • @CR342cds
      @CR342cds 2 роки тому +6

      @@tabasumhameed8825 than he wasnt going to be good for you in the long run. Sorry though that sucks and hurts. I know that feeling of rejection too

    • @sirprize5191
      @sirprize5191 2 роки тому

      LOL no, nobody has to accept shit. I broke up with her because her h*e phase disgusts me and I can't be with someone who can do very intimate things without a shred of intimacy. That's very weird to me. Get real for a moment. The RİGHT person is someone who literally cannot feel real intimacy and has broken morals. I'm happy I broke up and will eventually find a virgin who's mature and is not damaged at the core. Never committing to a h*e ever again, they are literally incapable of loving you the way you love them.

    • @sirprize5191
      @sirprize5191 2 роки тому +4

      @@tabasumhameed8825 I would have too!

    • @gibblets17
      @gibblets17 2 роки тому

      @@sirprize5191 I mean yeah, but not being a virgin doesn't make a girl a ho. Women can have sex before marriage and not be sloots. Just like men.
      I mean come on. If you aren't a virgin for her why should you expect different from her? Extremely hypocritical of you mate.

  • @caucasianafrican1435
    @caucasianafrican1435 2 роки тому +12

    Yes, we need to know so we can decide if we want to be with you or not. Your partner gets to choose who they want to be with, without being manipulated.

  • @paddle_smith
    @paddle_smith 4 роки тому +37

    if they ask something and you withhold certain relevant answers, that's similar to lying. I'm sure most people value honesty in a relationship, so it's like building bridge on muddy grounds if you start things off with lying.

    • @CedroneTravels
      @CedroneTravels 3 роки тому +4

      Thoeun Kong you are correct

    • @jamierichman2920
      @jamierichman2920 3 роки тому +5

      And the jealous type(like myself) will peace together over many years anyway

    • @caucasianafrican1435
      @caucasianafrican1435 2 роки тому +3

      @@jamierichman2920 And guys like me will peace out.

    • @phuongnguyenthu9201
      @phuongnguyenthu9201 2 роки тому

      I had a past w my cousin when I was a kid, I’m not a victim of any sort of abuse but idk how to tell my bf, ik I should I’m just really scared I will lose him. Even tho I’m willing to tolerate and help and understand him for anything that he hasn’t told me in the past even if it’s as serious as impregnating a girl (I saw his picture of him and his ex w a baby in her arms) but I can’t guarantee or expect him to be capable to do the same, and it was just my assumption that he might have done it with no proof.

  • @caucasianafrican1435
    @caucasianafrican1435 2 роки тому +18

    Even after several years, when I find she lied, I left. It happened two times.... and it was her fault for lying. Trust was gone.

  • @jessicadahlseide4489
    @jessicadahlseide4489 Місяць тому

    Thank you that helps me a lot actually :). Especially having a conversation about how much they actually want to know, which pieces are they curious about. That’s awesome again thank you.

  • @caucasianafrican1435
    @caucasianafrican1435 2 роки тому +5

    If the person isn't safe, you should obviously not be with them.

  • @stresskilla108
    @stresskilla108 3 роки тому +7

    If you want to start a morally incorrupt relationship, then answer questions honestly, be vulnerable, be honest and do not omit. Otherwise you are just lying to yourself and to your partner.

  • @atomicplaygirl66
    @atomicplaygirl66 4 роки тому +4

    What I find to be quite telling is how a current bf talks about his past relationships. If he can't look back and find some good things to remember that's not good. And if I am not confident enough in my own worth to the point that I cannot hear a few of his good recollections that's not good either.

  • @enriquecotes2194
    @enriquecotes2194 Місяць тому

    The truth will eventually come. So it is better to be honest up front, once a relationship is serious enough

  • @IamMonaOfficial
    @IamMonaOfficial 11 місяців тому +4

    I tell them nothing. My past is my past.

    • @jasonsamuel6601
      @jasonsamuel6601 7 місяців тому +1

      Yes I will not tell my past about my HIV and gay relationships with multiple men

  • @theoldfartschannel3692
    @theoldfartschannel3692 6 місяців тому

    Best give full and detailed disclosure of numbers, circumstances, and sexual activities regardless of the outcome. Actions have consequences and it's a small small world. After 17 years of marriage I found out about my ex-wife's numbers, the circumstances of each partner, all of the many things she willingly let them do singly in a pair, and three at a time while a frat house party cheered them on. Unfortunately our two teenage sons were the first to discover these things about their mother and 13 years later they won't don't talk to her unless I tell them to.

  • @gibblets17
    @gibblets17 2 роки тому +1

    Everything..... Done.

  • @carolynmcdowell65
    @carolynmcdowell65 5 років тому +18

    My boyfriend talks about his past on a regular and I am getting tired of them keep talking about the same thing what to do

    • @daadirjeele3480
      @daadirjeele3480 4 роки тому +2

      He is insecure about himself, maybe you told him about your past history which is bothering him, because he’s telling you his past so that he’ll feel better when he remembers about your past story,

    • @paddle_smith
      @paddle_smith 4 роки тому +4

      maybe you should just let him know it bothers you, wouldn't that work?

    • @kpas22105
      @kpas22105 Рік тому

      Tell him to knock it off

  • @1QUEENPRECIOUS3
    @1QUEENPRECIOUS3 2 роки тому +9

    Don't tell them shihh leave ur past where it is.... cause they can get mad and use it against u in an argument

    • @malikgray5962
      @malikgray5962 2 роки тому +1

      I agree 👍 and DONT ASK IF YA CANT HANDLE IT

    • @arnoldd9664
      @arnoldd9664 Рік тому

      😂😂

    • @margesaripsa9788
      @margesaripsa9788 Рік тому

      Yes it true..thats what happening to me now..past is past but he cant move on for that

  • @burleyant274
    @burleyant274 Рік тому +1

    I have 5 secrets or fibs to start with.....
    1. About what I did to my own dog named King out of anger after I got home from Wendy's on March 5th, 2022 then panicked and felt guilty in massacre!
    2. About my Sea Turtle arms and the reasons why I took them off!
    3. About my recent Six Flags Gold badge I lost by accident and then got a new one without my parents permission first on July 26th, 2021!
    4. Saved some chicken in the microwave for daddy to have the rest of, but mistakenly gave him food poisoning on Nov. 2017!
    5. About my Class of 2017 Graduation Gown which was accidentally burnt through a hole on June 12th, 2017!
    But around this month of January 2023 of the New Year, I must embrace to tell the truth like I should've done a long time ago ☝🏽🥰
    Happy New Year 🥳 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @intothevoid4930
    @intothevoid4930 Рік тому

    I am careful, too easy to learn what past women manipulate us with, what works, etc. Y'all need to put in the work yourselves, ladies! No freebies!

  • @xoSiNgInGiNtHeRaInox
    @xoSiNgInGiNtHeRaInox 5 років тому

    🕊

  • @Rob2gs
    @Rob2gs 2 роки тому +3

    none of your business

    • @Rob2gs
      @Rob2gs 2 роки тому

      @Ilija Markovic You miss the point .If you'r so worried her past dont date , Insecure men do it all the time. its power and control . Her past is no not for you .

    • @sirprize5191
      @sirprize5191 2 роки тому

      @@Rob2gs Committing to a h*e is a massive mistake. You will regret it every single time and deal with abusive behaviour, promiscuous and weird shit and all the baggage. Never again. Never make the mistake I did. If her past is off putting to you, there's a character flaw on her that you'll never truly move past.

    • @gibblets17
      @gibblets17 2 роки тому +10

      Telling a man your past is none of his business is like telling someone who wants to buy a car that he doesn't need to know what work has been done on it and it's accident history.
      Any man who buys a car without a little research is an idiot. Anyone who marries someone without knowing thier past is an idiot.
      You get married to blend your lives together. All of it. The past the present and the future.

    • @ari_jean
      @ari_jean 2 роки тому +3

      @@gibblets17 well, except that a woman is not a f*cking car?

    • @gibblets17
      @gibblets17 2 роки тому +5

      @@ari_jean man... You are really reaching. Anything for a little victory I guess. Right?