Narcissistic Abuse: Tips For Healing by Lise Leblanc

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  • Опубліковано 12 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 99

  • @StarWindEnergin
    @StarWindEnergin 11 місяців тому +23

    I stayed at first because I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that this person who'd blown me away with how into me and loving they were would change so drastically after the wedding, after I'd talked them up to friends and family and we'd gotten married on such a short timeline after starting dating. Then we had a child almost right away, and I stayed to be a part of that child's life. Then we had another, and another, and another. 17 years later I didn't even recognize myself anymore.

    • @mfrance3834
      @mfrance3834 8 місяців тому +2

      This was exactly my story except we thankfully had no children, so I was able to get out after 6 years of non stop chaos and nonsense. I was ready to go after 4 years but gave him another chance…big mistake. Anyway I cut ties with him and never saw him again. Met the right guy almost immediately and have had many happy years together. Leaving the wrong person makes way for the right one to enter your life.

    • @PoyTroy
      @PoyTroy 8 місяців тому +3

      Man this was my story. Only we had one child together. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was walking on eggshells. Always explaining myself and giving in to everything cause I didn’t want to fight. I’m the opposite of all of that. And I wanted my child to know me for me. So I left. Luckily she found a new supply shortly after me. But still. I have to deal with her at least another 14years lol

    • @StarWindEnergin
      @StarWindEnergin 8 місяців тому +1

      @@PoyTroy Stay strong, the best way to deal with it for me so far has been just being really low contact, only discussing kid stuff and details about kid exchange day and otherwise they're a stranger.

    • @jjducci
      @jjducci 7 місяців тому +3

      Damn sorry to hear that man. Yeah my story is very similar except I caught her early. I did some investigating once I found condoms with a few poked holes, and got lucky. I started to investigate after she tried to strangle my puppy because I was attending to him before her. Which is really dumb, because he waits for me all day till I get home, and she isn’t by the door.
      Anyways, I’m sorry. I went on a rant, I just thought I was alone till recently. I seriously thought I was loosing my mind.

    • @StarWindEnergin
      @StarWindEnergin 7 місяців тому +1

      @@jjducci Yeah I'm glad for you she showed who she was before you got married. Still traumatic, but the puppy thing is thankfully a giant red flag that you can't miss.

  • @hurricaneaquatics
    @hurricaneaquatics Рік тому +36

    Lise, you're helping countless people in the world with subjects that are so hard to know when you're not educated about it. Thank you, you have helped me tremendously. Please continue as you are providing invaluable information to your viewers.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +10

      Thank you for your positive feedback, I really appreciate it!

    • @anthonyrist5626
      @anthonyrist5626 9 місяців тому

      Lisa I replied on other videos, like you said easier said then done. I've been with the same woman for 45 years , in my mind it was beautiful in every way. But I was a workaholic and most likely didn't realize her narcissist traits until 3 years ago when it was getting hit with a 2x4 in the head. I'm kind of stuck with her because if I divorce her she gets half of my earnings and I'm left with not enough to even pay rent let alone a mortgage. Not sure what to do. By the way don't pay attention to the bad comments. Your channel is awesome. Thank you.

  • @nownotlater
    @nownotlater Рік тому +22

    Lise, I'm currently working on staying out after an 8-year NPD relationship. It's absolutely hell, I've become a total addict to my ex-partner and I'm a shell of who I used to be. I watch your videos on repeat because they help keep me sane and provide a North Star that reminds me of what being in that relationship was like. Thank you so much for these.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +4

      I'm very happy to hear that my content is helping you get through this difficult period. I wish you all the best!

    • @nownotlater
      @nownotlater Рік тому +4

      @@LiseLeblanc thank you so much! You are a lifesaver. I spent years trying to understand why I was always in the doghouse with my ex. I didn’t understand what was happening, and your videos just shone a light on the last decade of my life and made everything so clear. There are other videos about NPD out there, but yours are so clear and concise with no fluff, they are the best by a mile. A thousand times thank you.

    • @knowledgeseeker1590
      @knowledgeseeker1590 Рік тому +2

      Me too. I’m going through the same feelings. What I like about her videos is that’s concise, practical and realistic.

  • @AlexRyan
    @AlexRyan 11 місяців тому +7

    Re: “Believing that we deserve this type of treatment”
    I rarely hear people talk about this, but sometimes our conscience can compel us to “self sabotage” by putting ourselves into situations (like narcissistic relationships) in order to punish ourselves.
    Maybe I’m weird, but I know that I did this.
    There’s probably a healthier way of dealing with guilt than feeding ourselves to the demons, LOL.

  • @travelrockstar
    @travelrockstar Рік тому +12

    Lise saved me from years of more abuse! She is my shinning star and could be yours too!

  • @daeclipse03
    @daeclipse03 Рік тому +13

    2 months and i walked. She was manipulative, showed a ton of rage and anger the second month. Cheated on me multiple times. Pushed me away, silent treatment, belittled me etc.
    Once i started doing my homework and learned about narcassists i was able to detach and see it for what it was.

    • @xio6778
      @xio6778 Рік тому +1

      Damn, im sorry to hear that...

    • @PoyTroy
      @PoyTroy 8 місяців тому +1

      You lucky you didn’t go years with her and find all this out. Count your blessings good sir lol

  • @vivisimonvi
    @vivisimonvi Рік тому +4

    So I've been watching this channel for some weeks now and one of the first pieces of Lise's advice suggests to "stop watching videos on narcissistic abuse" as part of the post-relationship healing process.
    And here I am around 30 videos later still holding on like some hoovered individual lol.

  • @jamesmf968
    @jamesmf968 Рік тому +6

    It doesn’t feel like it, because it feels so good, but the manipulation and deception starts during the love-bombing. Recognizing that it’s love-bombing is the first step towards avoiding narcissistic abuse.

  • @I_stand_with_Israel.
    @I_stand_with_Israel. Рік тому +7

    Lise, if only your channel had been up and running a long time ago. After about 10 years of narcissistic abuse and 2 1/2 years of therapy I was finally able to leave my wife. I took my son with me and never looked back.
    It is like you describe my wife to the very detail. Now we are in the middle of a nasty „war of roses“ type of divorce. But it is totally worth it. I am finally free…

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому

      I'm sorry to hear that your in the middle of a nasty "war of the roses" divorce, but glad you got out.

  • @Ready2Rise
    @Ready2Rise 3 місяці тому

    Reading the majority of the comments here, and even though a lot of you were involved much longer than me, it feels like a lifetime of heartbreak after just under 2yrs of dealing with this crap. I've been out for some time, but there are definitely lasting effects. Praying 🙏🏽 for anyone dealing with this type of person and for your exit and recovery.

  • @itsallgoodlove830
    @itsallgoodlove830 12 днів тому

    I felt so pathetic for going through all the things I put up with and was so mad at myself but I'm now in therapy, back in the gym, have set firm boundaries and no contact except for dealing with my kid.

  • @sreangsuacharyya5788
    @sreangsuacharyya5788 11 місяців тому +1

    What's with the passive aggressive and distasteful comments that are targeting / questioning Lise's earnings, nature of practice and motivations ?
    Lise, you are helping many many people. Thank you so much.

  • @jameshunt3504
    @jameshunt3504 Рік тому +8

    Looking forward to working with you lise. Hopefully soon. I have two female narcissists and stories that almost destroyed me. I'm hoping to write ✍️ 🙏🏻 a book 📖 to inspire people from these life experiences

  • @markkimball1569
    @markkimball1569 11 місяців тому +3

    I’m a lifelong care giver 1 st responder and yes I wondered how I got here.. 25 yr with what is abuse . Thanks for your info that’s out here !! I need more tools to Dave myself .. no one else can do it .. I do have a few good life long friends so I’m a lucky guy ! God bless🌹

  • @user-co5vm3xe2e
    @user-co5vm3xe2e 9 місяців тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I watched a couple of your videos & as the 😢 ran dwn my face i realized this has been my life for the last 15yrs. Now I understand why I feel so broken & can see it's not me that has been making this relationship so unstable. I will look at seeking professional help to help me remove myself from this toxic relationship as I have the support of a family member (sister-in-law) who has been trying to get me to see this pattern for awhile now. You've given me hope for my future ❤

  • @Maryland_Kulak
    @Maryland_Kulak Рік тому +2

    I’m male and my female boss roped me in just like you described in your other videos. We were traveling together and drinking and I made a pass at her. It was light hearted and I took no for an answer and immediately apologized for making her uncomfortable. That was in mid May and now it’s late August and she’s been tormenting me ever since. Even though she’s my boss’s boss and has all the power in the relationship, she complained to higher managers that I had sexually harassed her. She later apologized to me in private, and said she wanted to go back to how things had been before, but outwardly she is hostile and goes behind my back to have me removed from important assignments. She won’t speak or look at me when other managers are around. I want to quit but I loved my job so much before all this happened.

    • @Stealthcola
      @Stealthcola 11 місяців тому +1

      Don't shit where you eat

  • @forensicbadassprofiling
    @forensicbadassprofiling Рік тому +3

    Hi Lisa. I just found your channel and I think it's wonderful. Thank you so much. The only thing I would disagree with is number four. Don't rely on friends to render good advice. That's what keeps a lot of us in these abusive relationships with our friends emotional reasons. I would urge everyone to strictly rely on human resources, social services, and professional counselors along with domestic violence centers. People that do not understand the subject like our friends or family, render terrible emotional advice that puts us in more danger. This is the reason why the average victim leaves a total of eight times before they are destroyed 8 times before they are fully destroyed. This includes your pastors as well.
    Thank you for hearing me out. I hope you have a beautiful day.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +3

      Yes I suppose you're right... number four would depend entirely on the quality of friends and family one has.

  • @antonp6917
    @antonp6917 Рік тому +2

    The hoovering gets me every single time.

  • @leftymagoo2710
    @leftymagoo2710 8 місяців тому +1

    I find your points are well balanced and I agree with your outlook on living with a narc. It is frustrating and it is difficult. I have been struggling with finding the hope that better things can happen for me. I have been in therapy and now I need to find a lawyer to see where I stand.

  • @knowledgeseeker1590
    @knowledgeseeker1590 Рік тому +3

    Lise, you are saving me with your amazing work! I suffered from manipulation and abuse in past relationships with covert NPD women. It sickened me when I realized it but I’m working towards my anger self worth. Keep up the amazing videos

  • @4swzb
    @4swzb 8 місяців тому +1

    thank you Lise for all the sound perspective that has been helping me and many of your followers navigate these challenging relationships...I would have drowned in confusion if I did not have this information to reference

  • @BlakeSakalMusic
    @BlakeSakalMusic Рік тому +2

    Post traumatic growth is such a great way to try and look at it. Congrats on almost 100k Lise!

  • @JeffreyMcIntyre-vd5pm
    @JeffreyMcIntyre-vd5pm 4 місяці тому

    Just found your channel and watched a few posts. I’ve recently reached the point where I “acknowledged” the truth about my experience and started taking steps to improve my mental wellbeing. I no longer need to rationalize. It’s not about her. It’s about me. I reflect on the past and focus on the errors I made. It’s on me. What I allowed. The videos I’ve watched thus far have been totally on point with what I have been doing once I let my intellect defuse my emotional distress. My PHIL is now focused on me. I am sharing your finely crafted educational work with some family members to shed light and understanding on what my struggle was about and healing journey I’m working through. Please continue to share your sound advice, heighten awareness and provide clearly defined action strategies for the abused. I sincerely appreciate your support.

  • @lexi0006
    @lexi0006 Рік тому +4

    Once again, Lise, 100% on point. I'm familiar with all the points you've gone over. I love your practical approach. Much appreciated. I've been out for nearly five years now. I'm finally returning to the person I used to be and I like it. Yet, the trauma of the prior decade haunts me once in a while. Still. Interesting how all this works. Cheers // alex

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +1

      Thanks for taking the time to comment! I appreciate your feedback and wish you all the best!

  • @YanaHarvey-ph3wh
    @YanaHarvey-ph3wh 5 місяців тому

    Thank you so much Lise for your incredible work!! Wishing you and your family a Happy Easter 🐣❤️ from UK

  • @xio6778
    @xio6778 Рік тому +5

    I know my borderline narc ex gf abused me, lied, and discarded me by cheating. I have dreams where she is the one protecting me against her own abuse i'm going through when I'm awake. it's very rough to face that reality and I'm torn.

  • @williamreed1714
    @williamreed1714 11 місяців тому +1

    Just found your channel, this really hits home. You're describing the issues that I'm dealing with like you know me. I guess I'm not the only one. Lol. Thank you for what you are doing ❤️

  • @jacobdane
    @jacobdane 9 місяців тому +1

    This one hit hard

    • @jacobdane
      @jacobdane 9 місяців тому

      Thank God we don't have kids. I just hope she lets me keep my dog 🥹

  • @Ike.V
    @Ike.V 10 місяців тому

    Thank you for your wisdom, Lise.
    Your videos have shown me that my recent past "perfect relationship" was narcissisticly abusive, and now that I see the pattern, I'm genuinely shocked I didn't see it before. How many excuses I've made. How many 100's of apologies did I need to get from someone to realize I'm being taken on a ride. Far too many, but I'm 3 weeks no contact, 10 months out of the relationship of 7 years. I'm glad to have my life back.

  • @plusone8015
    @plusone8015 Рік тому +1

    Autonomy is the character trait required to make it through.

  • @DP-ne7jv
    @DP-ne7jv Рік тому +2

    Thanks Lise great video. Your understanding is so spot on and this really applies to my life right now.

  • @fgjcgds-jh7xd
    @fgjcgds-jh7xd Рік тому +1

    Thanks a lot Lisa.. i did not know that It could hit so hard.. and also the after Effects of this experience.. what you describe in terms of isolation and effects and how to do something good for yourself... they go nuts when they feel you are about to leave them...

  • @PTosetti
    @PTosetti Рік тому

    "... there is something _in you_ that needs your attention".
    Dramatically true: yourself is the only person that is in your true reach.
    I'm afraid that doing that will impaire those aspects and those drivers that truly differentiate you from a narc, but life is not a walk in the park I suppose.

  • @bowhunteraden
    @bowhunteraden Рік тому +1

    I been listening to you for a long time, it’s my opinion you have the best content on this topic of anyone that I have listened to, your way of breaking it down makes it easy to understand. I always listen to your videos at least twice and look forward to them every week. You have helped me more than you will ever know.

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому

      Thanks so much for your positive feedback, I truly appreciate your support!

  • @christielawrence4640
    @christielawrence4640 Рік тому +2

    Thank you. !

  • @jimmyvaughn7584
    @jimmyvaughn7584 Рік тому +1

    Thanks for the great content. Are you still offering coaching sessions? Your calendar didn't show any availability.

  • @HelmerandRawlins
    @HelmerandRawlins Рік тому +1

    What a fantastic channel thank you

  • @brunohamroune6173
    @brunohamroune6173 Рік тому

    Thank you. Very instructive especially at a time where Iived and still enduring this toxic behavior for now 15 years. I will take a blank paper right now and apply the advices you gave. Thank you really

  • @YouilAushana
    @YouilAushana Рік тому

    I got there after 28 years with two narcissistic parents, a huge nice guy syndrome and pulling narcs out of the woodwork.
    These people just hate themselves are good listeners to hurt you and have their morning power up songs.

  • @ace7821
    @ace7821 15 днів тому

    It’s narcissistic to watch these videos and it’s further narcissistic to believe that you should be treated better. The relationship is what it is.

  • @johnstone3836
    @johnstone3836 Рік тому

    Helpful information
    I’ve gone No contact which has helped Greatly….

  • @carin5767
    @carin5767 3 місяці тому

    Lise❤
    You are a gem. So on the point and clear! Everything I hear from you I have experienced IRL and can confirm the amazing accuracy. Keep up the awesome work🫶 that help soo many of us.

  • @brandonwheeler1637
    @brandonwheeler1637 Рік тому

    Thank you Lise. Your insight and advice have been most helpful. Keep up the great work 👏👍

  • @Michael-iw3ek
    @Michael-iw3ek Рік тому +1

    Finally the so what do we do now about it.

  • @laviniahealy6851
    @laviniahealy6851 11 місяців тому

    Hi Lise you have such a good and comprehensive understanding of the dynamics in these relationships. Have you done any podcasts helping people including women with how to put a stop to post separation abuse administered by a narc towards an empathetic person who lacks self love and because of this doesn't notice who she should be protecting herself from and unknowingly gets herself trapped into similar dynamics???

  • @Mike-G503
    @Mike-G503 8 місяців тому +1

    I’ve spent the last two years of my life negotiating for my safety and love. I don’t want to do that anymore. So how or when do I stop loving her so I can start to get on with my life. I just went no contact two weeks ago. I miss her so much. 🤦🏼‍♂️

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  8 місяців тому

      Not sure if you saw these videos but you might find them helpful:
      7 Stages Of Detoxing From A Covert Narcissist
      ua-cam.com/video/cnMdYr-1Zbg/v-deo.html
      Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse: Tips For Healing
      ua-cam.com/video/Ws4j4nsK9sM/v-deo.html

  • @rickelbaz
    @rickelbaz 4 місяці тому

    Thanks!

  • @andy.hello.6602
    @andy.hello.6602 8 місяців тому

    Brilliant

  • @vin605
    @vin605 9 місяців тому

    THANK YOU

  • @applen.ginger8489
    @applen.ginger8489 Рік тому

    I totally duped myself. Knew who his was and what he did but stayed. Kept telling myself I can just use him for my ego and for fun, but it continually turned to depression because of the emotional attachment. It was always going to end badly.

    • @xio6778
      @xio6778 Рік тому +2

      Same here, i knew she was a cheater, liar and manipulater. I kept her around for my own pleassure and because of a trauma bond. When she dropped the mask she did it without remorse and it was rough... I was delusional.

    • @applen.ginger8489
      @applen.ginger8489 Рік тому +1

      @@xio6778 yep, delusional seems to be the only way to describe it. Madness.

    • @xio6778
      @xio6778 Рік тому

      @@applen.ginger8489 There is still a part in me that wants to pick up my sword and shield and travel down the deepest depths of hell to slay the demon called borderline that is tormenting her but I know I will fail and crumble in the process. It is an absolute nightmare. Like watching your partner slowly die from a cancer and you can't do anything about it. Im standing at the gates of hell ready to pull her out. It is delusional.

  • @gbaybayc
    @gbaybayc 4 місяці тому

    How do you know so much about this? You must’ve lived it in some way because it is painfully accurate. You’re not just helping men btw, wlw relationships too.

  • @kristof474
    @kristof474 9 місяців тому

    Yes ty

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 4 місяці тому +1

    The cost of staying to way to much?

  • @jbirddesignartwork8420
    @jbirddesignartwork8420 11 місяців тому

    Thank you so much this is so hard I love her so much but I have to realize that I'm just being abused. I don't have anything she's stripped me down to a homeless idiot. I'm trying the no contact step but I'm scared. I hate this.

  • @Candlelight777
    @Candlelight777 Рік тому

    I went through abuse in my sleep by a group of people who believed that the abuse they played out would keep me in a relationship with my ex. I dislike these people and will Never care to be around these abusive people ever. Not funny one way shape or another.

  • @Natalie82170
    @Natalie82170 8 місяців тому

    But what do you do when the narcissist hurting you is your only family member left and you have a chronic illness and can't get away?

  • @gabygarabitocas40
    @gabygarabitocas40 Рік тому

    Leave at all cost . The abuse won’t stop . Yes , the narcissist is not gonna be merciful to you at all if you leave . My roommate is a narcissist and the only way she has left her victims alone is by their relatives and friends threatening her to harm her if she doesn’t stop terrorizing the victims really sad people have to get to that but has worked so far for them that and most importantly Zero contact with her.

  • @pedrokarstguimaraes1096
    @pedrokarstguimaraes1096 Рік тому +1

    🙏🏻

  • @BruceWayne-lf7fk
    @BruceWayne-lf7fk Рік тому

    There's really only one rational reason to stay. CHILDREN. If men leave, they get every other weekend at best, and they get to co-parent with a narcissist. No deal. I'm ten years in. If I had a way to divorce her while maintaining custody of my children, it would already be done! My kids need me, and I'm not going to leave them alone with her. I follow orders to appease her and keep the peace, but it is no longer from a position of weakness or naivety... My self-worth is pretty resilient, so she's not making any progress there; however, that does not make this any less annoying. I'm just waiting for the day when I can just give her half of my money and run like hell.

  • @pierre931
    @pierre931 Рік тому

    believe me, we can change in but with the selfishness of peoples and god, we can do nothing

  • @benkanobe7500
    @benkanobe7500 Рік тому

    Pease define "Gas Lighting" as this term is being spewed all over the internet and everyone that uses it has their own interpretation of what it is. Please define (in detail) what You think "gaslighting" is. Thank you!

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +2

      Thanks for your question... here are links to 3 videos that I recently posted on the subject of gaslighting:
      ua-cam.com/video/zC4BTnMvG7Q/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/optFAWlT_-E/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/hXG6qG263rM/v-deo.html

    • @benkanobe7500
      @benkanobe7500 Рік тому

      @@LiseLeblanc Thank you. I am a subscriber and just want to understand you better as you know my situation well.

  • @tonygueug4342
    @tonygueug4342 Рік тому

    🙏🙏❤❤⭐⭐

  • @deedeebutler
    @deedeebutler 8 місяців тому +1

    This stuff isn't fun...

  • @Michael-iw3ek
    @Michael-iw3ek Рік тому +1

    she means contact a therapist in your area who hasn't yet discovered that there's more money to be made on youtube than in sessions

    • @LiseLeblanc
      @LiseLeblanc  Рік тому +1

      Therapists must be licensed in the province or state where the client lives so a therapist is not allowed to provide therapy outside of the area where they are licensed.

    • @Michael-iw3ek
      @Michael-iw3ek Рік тому

      @@LiseLeblanc that certainly limits the availability, unfortunately

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 4 місяці тому

    12 years is way to long omg

  • @vyoufinder
    @vyoufinder 8 місяців тому

    I don't think I can leave her because I'm just too attracted to her and the sex is so good. It's the only thing we don't argue about. She's discarded me again, and I don't know if she's coming back or where she went. Blocked me on her phone, but actually didn't unblock me is more like it. It's a relief for us both when she leaves, but then I start to miss her and then it sucks. Now I'm ready for her to come back, bit who knows if she will or not. She said she's just using me for sex and likes that we're safe together. I told her I'll take what I can get, and begged her to come back when she's ready.

    • @OnderHassan
      @OnderHassan 8 місяців тому +1

      Leave. It isn’t worth it. Im on the same boat. Sex was mind blowing with lots of unfinished business. But it’s best to keep it that way for your own mental health.

  • @kimihjouna4681
    @kimihjouna4681 Рік тому

    Thank you.
    I wonder who pay you the bill to make this video.