My mil called me and act all emo just because i didnt want to wear a puffy dress for their side reception AND she freaking took a full beaded navy blue lace and 4 meter duchess satin that i have no other choice than to sew it into a maxi dress. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY HATE THAT DRESS. but i still walked down the aisle in that dress just to get my husband out of trouble from his clingy mom 🙄
I hadn’t seen my Walima outfit until the DAY of the event - I was preparing myself for the worst but luckily the dress was beautiful 😂 I just thought a dress wasn’t worth creating issues over and I didn’t want to start my marriage on a sour note.
I thought the same, and I kept things that I felt like won’t really effect forever to just become a non-issue! But I was also very lucky that my father in law said the dress will be only what I want and how I want it, I got a BLACK dress lol with gold and emerald embroidery and embellishment!!! It was just a dream come to life!!! Alhamdullillah
Same happened with me but my dress wasn’t beautiful at all not even the color it was dark brown color for the walima day but I just wear that and did not said anything nd still I regret not seeing it before
Honestly, the worst thing about horrible in-law problems is that women are always told to have sabr and patience and to pray for a better situation. It's never about standing up for yourself or speaking out or trying to change your situation. Like speaking out is the worst evil thing you can do. Desi advice is confusing and really takes away from your self-worth and confidence.
Soooo I dont dress heavy and didn't want to dress heavy. My MIL stated before the wedding that I could pick whatever dresses I wanted to wear and she wouldn't mind. Then when the time finally came, they forced me to wear the valima dress from their side. My parents tried to reason with them and they wouldn't let up. So that alone made me hate the dress. Apparently it's because my choices were too simple for them and I was an embarrassment. To them I repeatedly get told that I didn't look like a bride (from them and others). To add, even when I wore their dress MIL got mad at me for wearing the wrong dupatta even though I wore the CLEARLY MATCHING dupatta that was packed with it. I just wish I had worn my own dress that I had picked. Later on I did wear the dress I picked/bought at other events and got so many compliments. That actually makes me more sad that I didn't just do what I wanted on my special day. It's something so small but it is really hard to get over. I feel so stupid for how upset/sad I feel about it. But I am not used to being told what to wear, my parents never did that to me and I honestly harbor a lot of resentment towards in laws for this. The pics make me so sad because I feel so ugly on my valima day. This was Nov of 23
I had a really positive experience with my walima outfit. My mil invited me and was adamant that i pick my own walima outfit because it was MY wedding. I loved all our photos and enoyed my day! X
My MIL asked me about my colour preference before she purchased the lahenga. I told her that I’m okay with any light hue except shades of pink. She then sent me few samples of other colours she would prefer and I thought those were beautiful colours. Four days before the reception, she ‘had to’ take me to the lahenga shop to get my measurements for it to be tailored and I saw the outfit for the first time there. It was as pink as a bubblegum! I was so disappointed that words came out of my mouth -‘oh it’s pink!’ After a few words of lie, she asked me to pick another one from other 50 shades of pinks she chose, so I said, your first pick is better (all of them looked equally awful as I was super pissed). My gold jewelries and venue decoration didn’t go well with the fit at all lol. 🤡
Okay a really fun fact about my in laws, I loved this when I found out. My mother in law doesn't speak english, and I don't speak urdu due to my anxiety, so I'm slowly warming up to it and gaining confidence. My MIL is an absolute gem though, and she didn't want me to be nervous with her. As it turns out, she didn't know Urdu AT ALL before she got married. Her native language is pashto and she had to learn urdu after getting married to communicate with her In laws! And then her son (my brother in law) got married and his wife didn't speak urdu either! So she had to learn Urdu to speak to my MIL! And now I come into this family, the third person to marry into this family without being able to speak urdu, and now I'm learning to speak better for my MIL. XD I just thought it was hilarious that with three different native languages between us AT LEAST, all of us had to learn Urdu after marriage just to have a common tongue.
I'd ask my mom to politely request my mother in law to let me choose my outfit or atleast tell her my preferences so she keeps that in mind while shopping 😅
For the walima I think it would be so hard to ask for a different colour as the whole venue/other outfits were probably chosen around that specific colour!!
I am new to ur podcast and i am loving it. My mother in law made me wear horrible parrot green and shocking pink colour dress to someone else's wedding. My husband hated it . I hated it . But i had to wear it because i was surronded by my mother in law and sister in laws and i was young and scared of my mil & sis in laws and didnt know how to raise my voice
Hey! I feel so validated right now!!! I won't burn my saree though 😅 I own 13 sarees and love every single one of them ❤ I'm from India, and your content is incredibly relatable!
Just wanted to chime in on the in-laws getting the shaadi/walima outfits question…first of all really great discussion and I will add one consideration to something Uruje I think? said about advising the bride to tell the fiance to tell his mom about letting you choose your outfit. I would advise the bride-to-be to muster the courage to have a direct convo with the MIL with respect. She can give the guy a heads up and get advice on talking to his mom. And preferably in person with perhaps her own mother present as support. It might be a sensitive topic if they like to follow traditions and you may have to explain your side but who knows it also could be a huge load-off if the MIL was feeling cultural or family pressure and now she’s off the hook! You never know! But put yourself in a MIL’s position if you think you’re spending time and money and doing something nice for a future DIL and she can’t communicate directly to you but through her son…she might feel annoyed and you don’t want to start that off like that. In the motherland back in the day the outfits were expected to be a gift from the grooms family to the brides family but back then the options were limited plus shaadis were not about the bride and groom and what they wanted but more about the families getting together! Times have changed though, we have adapted our traditions to this culture we live in now and people are adapting so go ahead and advocate for yourself! Sorry for the long response - lot to consider here!
My mil called me and act all emo just because i didnt want to wear a puffy dress for their side reception AND she freaking took a full beaded navy blue lace and 4 meter duchess satin that i have no other choice than to sew it into a maxi dress. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY HATE THAT DRESS. but i still walked down the aisle in that dress just to get my husband out of trouble from his clingy mom 🙄
I hadn’t seen my Walima outfit until the DAY of the event - I was preparing myself for the worst but luckily the dress was beautiful 😂 I just thought a dress wasn’t worth creating issues over and I didn’t want to start my marriage on a sour note.
Thanks so much for sharing!!
This was my experience too!! I didn’t mind either, my dress was beautiful but wayy too heavy… moreso than my wedding lengha 😮
I thought the same, and I kept things that I felt like won’t really effect forever to just become a non-issue!
But I was also very lucky that my father in law said the dress will be only what I want and how I want it, I got a BLACK dress lol with gold and emerald embroidery and embellishment!!! It was just a dream come to life!!! Alhamdullillah
Same happened with me but my dress wasn’t beautiful at all not even the color it was dark brown color for the walima day but I just wear that and did not said anything nd still I regret not seeing it before
Honestly, the worst thing about horrible in-law problems is that women are always told to have sabr and patience and to pray for a better situation. It's never about standing up for yourself or speaking out or trying to change your situation. Like speaking out is the worst evil thing you can do. Desi advice is confusing and really takes away from your self-worth and confidence.
Very true
Uruj we’d love to see more of ur siblings on here 🙌🏽 yall should get the whole fam on here
Soooo I dont dress heavy and didn't want to dress heavy. My MIL stated before the wedding that I could pick whatever dresses I wanted to wear and she wouldn't mind. Then when the time finally came, they forced me to wear the valima dress from their side. My parents tried to reason with them and they wouldn't let up. So that alone made me hate the dress. Apparently it's because my choices were too simple for them and I was an embarrassment. To them I repeatedly get told that I didn't look like a bride (from them and others). To add, even when I wore their dress MIL got mad at me for wearing the wrong dupatta even though I wore the CLEARLY MATCHING dupatta that was packed with it. I just wish I had worn my own dress that I had picked. Later on I did wear the dress I picked/bought at other events and got so many compliments. That actually makes me more sad that I didn't just do what I wanted on my special day. It's something so small but it is really hard to get over. I feel so stupid for how upset/sad I feel about it. But I am not used to being told what to wear, my parents never did that to me and I honestly harbor a lot of resentment towards in laws for this. The pics make me so sad because I feel so ugly on my valima day. This was Nov of 23
I had a really positive experience with my walima outfit. My mil invited me and was adamant that i pick my own walima outfit because it was MY wedding. I loved all our photos and enoyed my day! X
We love that for you!
My MIL asked me about my colour preference before she purchased the lahenga. I told her that I’m okay with any light hue except shades of pink. She then sent me few samples of other colours she would prefer and I thought those were beautiful colours. Four days before the reception, she ‘had to’ take me to the lahenga shop to get my measurements for it to be tailored and I saw the outfit for the first time there. It was as pink as a bubblegum! I was so disappointed that words came out of my mouth -‘oh it’s pink!’ After a few words of lie, she asked me to pick another one from other 50 shades of pinks she chose, so I said, your first pick is better (all of them looked equally awful as I was super pissed). My gold jewelries and venue decoration didn’t go well with the fit at all lol. 🤡
So sorry that happened to you😩❤️
Okay a really fun fact about my in laws, I loved this when I found out. My mother in law doesn't speak english, and I don't speak urdu due to my anxiety, so I'm slowly warming up to it and gaining confidence. My MIL is an absolute gem though, and she didn't want me to be nervous with her. As it turns out, she didn't know Urdu AT ALL before she got married. Her native language is pashto and she had to learn urdu after getting married to communicate with her In laws! And then her son (my brother in law) got married and his wife didn't speak urdu either! So she had to learn Urdu to speak to my MIL! And now I come into this family, the third person to marry into this family without being able to speak urdu, and now I'm learning to speak better for my MIL.
XD I just thought it was hilarious that with three different native languages between us AT LEAST, all of us had to learn Urdu after marriage just to have a common tongue.
My mil only got to meet me only a year after we got married and then she had the audacity to show me a picture of my husbands ex fiancé….
😳 what in the world! That is so out of line!
I'd ask my mom to politely request my mother in law to let me choose my outfit or atleast tell her my preferences so she keeps that in mind while shopping 😅
Love that thanks for sharing!
Omg my mom used to make me wear these heavy sweaters under slawar kameez and party wear 😭
Love love this podcast
For the walima I think it would be so hard to ask for a different colour as the whole venue/other outfits were probably chosen around that specific colour!!
Thanks for sharing!
Love you ladies! So real and relatable ❤
❤️❤️
I am new to ur podcast and i am loving it.
My mother in law made me wear horrible parrot green and shocking pink colour dress to someone else's wedding. My husband hated it . I hated it . But i had to wear it because i was surronded by my mother in law and sister in laws and i was young and scared of my mil & sis in laws and didnt know how to raise my voice
You are a trooper 🙏
Hey! I feel so validated right now!!!
I won't burn my saree though 😅
I own 13 sarees and love every single one of them ❤
I'm from India, and your content is incredibly relatable!
Thank you so much for the support!
Just wanted to chime in on the in-laws getting the shaadi/walima outfits question…first of all really great discussion and I will add one consideration to something Uruje I think? said about advising the bride to tell the fiance to tell his mom about letting you choose your outfit. I would advise the bride-to-be to muster the courage to have a direct convo with the MIL with respect. She can give the guy a heads up and get advice on talking to his mom. And preferably in person with perhaps her own mother present as support. It might be a sensitive topic if they like to follow traditions and you may have to explain your side but who knows it also could be a huge load-off if the MIL was feeling cultural or family pressure and now she’s off the hook! You never know! But put yourself in a MIL’s position if you think you’re spending time and money and doing something nice for a future DIL and she can’t communicate directly to you but through her son…she might feel annoyed and you don’t want to start that off like that. In the motherland back in the day the outfits were expected to be a gift from the grooms family to the brides family but back then the options were limited plus shaadis were not about the bride and groom and what they wanted but more about the families getting together! Times have changed though, we have adapted our traditions to this culture we live in now and people are adapting so go ahead and advocate for yourself! Sorry for the long response - lot to consider here!
Thanks so much for sharing your insight!❤️
Love ❤ thissss
Thank you
loving the double denim
Thanks!
❤❤❤ “ Pilau”!!!’😂😂😂
New balance sneakers are fazool so are turtle necks under shalwar kameez... Lol
😂
Love love love 🤍