Surface level sex is going to leave you unsatisfied. But a deep, intimate connection with a spouse is more satisfying. It's like snacking vs. having a meal. One leaves you lacking and wishing for something more, whereas the other (in a healthy, loving marriage) *should* leave both of you satisfied and more in love
Married sex can just suck sometimes, like everything and casual sex and be amazing. We should hype up marriage sex as this golden goose. It's not about getting a certain quality of sex out of marriage, but commitmenting to a person for life and knowing they will stick by your side.
@gustavusadolphus4344 Yes, this is an important clarification to make. Nowhere in scripture does God promise good sex within marriage. Dysfunction, disease, and disability are very real, so I don't want to minimize that. However, if both spouses are committed to communication, understanding, and practice, I think things can be mostly satisfying. I've learned that submitting to and respecting my husband when paired with his cherishing and nourishing of me tends to bring a lot of joy and harmony to our marriage -- including the marriage bed. We set ourselves up for success the more we obey and seek the Lord together and individually. Submitting to Christ as the Lord over our marriage brings a lot of peace and freedom. Even in the midst of dysfunction and hardship. God bless you!
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One big problem I have seen growing up is how nowdays "love" is chalked up to sex. True love isn't sexual, it's sacrificial. People who see marriage as a free pass to unlimited sex have the implied premise that marriage soley exists for sex (which is untrue). Marriage is so much more than having sex, it is you choosing to lay down your life to support, love, and cherish your spouse and vise versa. A marriage between two people who are selflessly giving themselves to eachother is going to be much happier than a marriage where each party is busy trying to get what they want from eachother. Life won't be rosy all the time, and when someone only values you for your body, when things get tough, it's easy for them to get up and leave for another person (I've seen it happen to people around me). Sacrificial love is true and will stand the test of time, sexual love is temporary and will often fade away when things get rough.
Sacrifice of what? Healthy sexual relations strengthens marriages, not focusing on weird, outdated social mores. Self-sacrifice has its place. I believe we tend to place our partners and children’s need above our own, in general, but if one is feeling isolated, it’s always good to share those feelings with one’s partner. Sometimes sexual intimacy is all that’s needed to eliminate stress in one’s partner, the results being for obvious reasons.
@@TheFirefishe Yeah, sex gives me dopamine hits so we can use it for an adhd meltdown. But in an actual marriage that lasts, we don't just use sex to make our partner feel better. In fact, when my husband and I were young and life got difficult we used to take sex out of our relationship so we could focus and strengthen our bond. I disagree with your theory that healthy sex is what strengthens marriage, healthy communication does that.
@@NiaLaLa_V - Well, I certainly don’t disagree with you on that point. The facts are that BOTH ARE ESSENTIAL. The physical part can be postponed for other foci, of course, when appropriate, as seems to be in your particular circumstance. Balance In All Things. ❤️
I would love to agree with you, except that is what the Catholic Church's view on marriage is, unfortunately. It is just sex. It's why impotent people can not marry. That's it. Arranged marriages are, of course, still valid for this reason. It has nothing to do with love. Feelings come and go, but a marriage remains. As such, this whole philosophy on "mutual self giving" from the so called "Theology of the Body" is completely undercut.
@@nicksimmons1305 - What Saith Thee? Since when is impotency a barrier to Catholics getting married? I’ve never heard of such a backwards thing! Impotency is a medical condition. And have you never heard of Viagra or Cialis? Please!
LOVE this!!! Abstinence until marriage isn’t about shaming others, it’s about promoting the healthiest lifestyle. We weren’t meant to sleep around as human beings, and we also aren’t meant to deny our nature that brings about children. This is put so eloquently. Well done!
@@thecommentors9973 When on earth did I say that?💀 I may believe sex before marriage is a sin, but every single one of us without exception is a sinner in different ways. When people tell you to not sleep around, it shouldn’t be out of shame, but wanting you to have a happy and healthy sexual life. Hookup culture has ruined society and now so many people are struggling to find deep connections with people outside of sex. It’s a huge problem that a culture that teaches abstinence and responsibility can fix. Don’t make assumptions when you don’t know me please!
@@justyouraveragebaka9493 sin is literally evil. You are not just saying that your view is the best but that doing it outside of marriage is immoral. Also a culture of abstinence and responsibility is what we had and it failed.
@@thecommentors9973 Lila explained in the first portion of the video that the hookup culture that rose from the sexual revolution in the 60’s happened BECAUSE there was a double standard. Men weren’t expected to be pure like women were. We didn’t have a culture of responsibility and abstinence. Often times throughout history that’s more or less the case. People aren’t hateful for having values that dictate right from wrong. I may see people doing something that I myself find immoral, but that doesn’t make me hate those people. Look at what statistically leads to the happiest and longest marriages. Abstinence. Nothing is ever a guarantee, but the peace that I’ve personally witnessed from my own family and other families I’ve seen that started off with these values cannot be denied. I fully recommend watching the video to the end, it’s quite clear that this message isn’t about shame. She even warns against shaming sex.
They may not be the deepest, but they ARE deep enough to make an impact. Fostering healthy moderation in all areas of one’s personal life is healthy, balanced, and natural. Subjugating the body to the point of unhealthy denial, however, is not. As has been stated elsewhere, those with a high libido may need to enjoy intimacy with others of similar vein-either inside or outside of marriage. This is a modern world. One can enjoy casual, sexual relationships if one knows one’s partners, and everyone has each other’s health information. Limiting one’s partners to a small group of trusted people is preferable, of course, to having an affair with the entire planet, so to speak, and marriage is good for those who do want to spend their lives together. I just don’t think it’s fair to vilify the secular crowd who are not religious and look at concepts like sin as being ridiculous. I don’t believe in sin, myself, being Wiccan, although, I do follow a subjective element comprising correct and incorrect actions, following, for the most part, the axiom of doing one’s best for the greater good without being a nuisance about it.
"Our sexual desires are things we experience, not the core of who we are." Well put. Everyone needs to listen to this, but especially the young people of today.
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@@christinavessel1779 - Can you imagine if our older children-and younger-were treated with deserving respect by not burdening them with guilt over theistic nonsense that has never been given evidence for its support? I Can!
@@TheFirefishethe secular culture that treats people as means for an end, no valuable meaning except who decides to assign value and as the OP pointed out, the consequences of secular culture that treats sex casually that is he same culture denies. We’ve seen this for decades and there’s an abundance of evidence for it. Studies show Christian families are far more content and solidified; nice try but atheists altogether tend to be more miserable.
Love this! Great points. God doesn't promise great sex to anyone. It often takes years to learn your spouse to have great sex. Communication, understanding, and practice are so key!
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The problem with the purity culture of the 90s was that parents were drilling into their kids that they must save themselves for marriage but then didn't marry them off when they reached adulthood. Instead they set them up for failure by sending them to hedonistic adult daycare. How was that ever going to work?
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Maybe the Christians of the 1980s and 1990s had the assumptions that things would make a comeback. I often say it was like the people who tolerated no fault divorce and assumed a new marriage rate would continue on.
So much this! It's all good choosing abstinence, but it gets to be discouraging when you grow up and then family and friends don't know who to pair you up with. Hence why a lot of us in our late twenties, thirties and even forties are still single.
@@HaleyMary This, 100%. If parents are going to put those kinds of demands on kids, then they should also be actively involved in helping their children find a partner. We don't need to bring back arranged marriages or anything drastic like that, but the way shy, bookish men use to meet shy, bookish women to make good matches is their parents would conspire to put them together in the same room. Now the only people who are getting married are the extroverts.
Absolutely 💯% My husband & I would council these 20-somethings who just wanted to be married but their Christian parents would absolutely refuse to allow it until they went to college even if the girl wanted to be a SAHM. They demanded she get a degree in anything. Then forced them to work in that field for a while. By then, they'd been dating for YEARS doing so sorts of sexual things. Just let them get married. By the time they finally married, they then struggled to conceive but the ones who didn't were told to wait another 4-5 years before having babies. I don't understand what's wrong with these parents.
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5:39 A sex object. Wow, I never put it into words but that is exactly how I felt early on in my marriage (17 & 18). We were both abstinent before marriage. After marriage there was SO much intense desire- I was overwhelmed by him. 14 years down the road we have ironed quite a bit out; things are great. I forget it was an issue. Praise God for growth in us both.
Love your work! My doctoral thesis was on Navigating Sexual Love in Marriage for couples in midlife or those approaching midlife. In it, I address what you’re talking about, what I refer to as the “radical no” of purity culture and the “radical yes” of permissive culture. Thank you for standing in the gap in such a thoughtful and articulate way, Lila Rose.
This is a great and very necessary video that should be shared on as many media outlets as possible. I, for one will be sharing it in the hope my friends and family will watch, listen & learn! Thanks You!
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I am a man, and I honestly believe that "purity culture" played a large role in the reason why I had sexual desires for other men instead of women. "Purity culture" taught me that women hate sex while only men desire sex. It also taught me that sex is inherently harmful for women. Therefore, I became fearful and disgusted by the idea of sex with a woman. A sexual relationship with another man appealed to me more because if only men enjoy sex, then the only type of sex that is mutually pleasurable is homosexual behavior between two men. Fast forward to today, and this same fear in me resurfaced with the rise of the Me Too movement, which teaches that a man's sexual desire for a woman is inherently predatory. Feminism and "purity culture" have more in common that people realize.
I know feminism and purity culture both set up guys to be betas that are too afraid to talk to women in a way that would attract them. Purity culture taught me that to greet a woman with a hug, to hang out even in groups, or even to look a woman in the eyes when we talked to her; were all things that my friends and I learned from purity culture in YG were "lustful" or at least would lead to us lusting. I'm 30 now and still struggle with looking in a woman's eyes as I talk to her, it's easy for me to look past her or even look in between her eyes or another part of her face. I also majorly struggle with being able to ask a woman for her number, or to ask her on a date. These things still feel borderline evil to me.
Capitulating to ones impulses in every other context is not laudable. Overeating, being slothful, and giving into ones anger are not considered virtues. So why is conceding to ones sexual urges being praised by pop culture? Answer: If the powers that influence the world can trivialize intimacy, and the love that *SHOULD* be attached to acts of intimacy, they can more easily break up families, which have been both the foundation of civilization and a bulwark against tyranny. Breaking up this bond leaves people atomized and isolated, and therefore easy to exploit and control.
I heard the argument that making family men prevents tyranny. Communist Romania banned birth control and abortion to boost family formation. So much for preventing tyranny.
On the point of "sex is no big deal". It objectifies the person. Any act in which you objectify another person is morally wrong and is harms you just as much as it harms them. I remember a guy desperate to learn his virginity in college. He finally hooked up with a girl at a party and had sex. He was deeply disappointed by the experience and felt hollow afterwards.
Thank you for this message! You covered so many great points, and spoke the truth. A lot of people won’t want to hear this message, but it needs to be spoken of more. Keep it up!
My ex had already had sex with a guy in college. Then after about 12 or 15 years (I don’t really remember) she cheated on me, with a coworker of hers. I have still been forgiving of her Lying, Cheating, Abusing ways. I however will not ever take her back.
Why not an angelic realm and order, beautiful love making, self-sharing with others, and correct action? These can exist, too, as well as the above. I'd choose the latter.
Ive skipped most of the videos I see pop up from you guys but the videos on why we think the way we think about sex and the history of that have been enlightening and interesting, hope to see videos like this reach alot of people.
Thank you so much, Lila, for this wholesome and informative video... We badly need more people to have this mindset ... This is the TRUTH we all need to hear.... Thank you soooooo much!
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Thank you for sharing that, I'm a Seventeen year old and what I am hearing was all kinds of negativity about the topic sex. My mother talks about what is sex, but never says the deepness and impact it has on you. I'm still a virgin waiting to get married before having sex. I also don't believe in just getting married to have sex. I would like to bond with the person and have a Godly marriage not just to have sex and done. I even grew up in a church that hides the topic just cause they think it's embarrassing and have us in the blue hardly knowing anything. All they just say is to wait until marriage.
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I never considered characterizing purity culture as a "sexual prosperity gospel" but it's totally on point. I can't help but think that it unintentionally contributed to the rise of the incel movement. You now have emotionally stunted so-called "nice guys" from their 20s to well into middle age who think they're "owed" sex because they've followed an arbitrary set of rules, only to explode with rage when that "reward" is not forthcoming despite what they perceive to be their "best efforts". I already see a few of them in the comment section, exhibiting their predictable lack of self-awareness, as usual.
Both the sexual revolution and “purity culture” are two extremes of a healthy (Catholic) understanding of our sexuality as men and women, what sex is for, and God’s design for men and women! Thank you for putting out this kind of content!! Will have to watch the full episode.
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You are spreading the truth about sex, marriage, and relationships. Your teachings are healthy. God bless you for this and your holy work against abortion. From a non Christian.
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That’s right we “have a choice” and have been given the ability to use self control. “…sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:7 You don’t eliminate something wonderful that God created, just “rule over” your impulses and desires, and enjoy things like sex in an appropriate context.
Yeah. They came out like "demystify sex" and were talking about "sex-positive" as though anyone in the world is absolutely and unironically "sex-negative" (as opposed to being black-pilled about it. I'd say those people aren't exactly sex-negative as much as they just had some rough experiences). I honestly think they just ended up over-mystifying sex and is also just ruining it for everyone because everyone is getting used and children are being born into broken homes.
I guess it is an overcorrection. So many people had crappy youth from absentee parents, so they became helicopter parents. That had its own set of problems.
I've watched thru my lifetime (start 1953) how the world has changed. It's extremely important to emphasize biblical truth of marriage! Not just an act, but a requirement to move on to heaven. Just like baptism . You may start out in life ignorant, but it's up to you to search for the truth to go on the right path. The video is a great start to realizing what is before everyone!
Marriage is not a requirement to get to heaven. Putting faith and love in Jesus christ and believing in him wholeheartedly and following his teachings to the best of your abilities gets you to heaven
That’s fine. It might be beneficial if you wait for marriage. But on the other side of the coin, telling people not to masturbate in the meantime isn’t the answer either.
Wow, this was so good! Seeing how both the Sexual Revolution and Purity Culture are similar in their false premises helped me. I was damaged by the latter teaching, but praise to God, I turned to Scripture to see what the true purpose and design of sexuality is and now have a wonderful, pure, consecrated, excited, knowledgeable, and healthy stance on sexuality. I am joyfully waiting for marriage and learning and researching in the meantime. Part of the harm of purity culture is the "don't talk about it" mentality. Going into marriage totally ignorant is one of the dumbest things ever. Why would you not be studied up on this very important aspect of human existence? I truly think that most of the discomfort/pain that women in particular experience from sex could be eliminated if girls and boys were better trained in anatomy, the reproductive cycle, and issues that typically make sex uncomfortable for females. All at age-appropriate levels, of course! I am WAY more confident and ready to experience intimacy than I was before because I have a good grasp of how my body works, conditions that are affecting my fertility and ability for future sex, how mental and emotional arousal are just as major as physical arousal, and how to avoid common mistakes of many Christian newlyweds. Granted, I don't have it all down, and there's a lot I can't know until I am married, but I am so glad that the Lord rerouted me to a holy and beautiful view of His creation of sex.
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@@skylinefever Yes! I've heard about women and girls who were basically forbidden to speak up or leave when they'd been physically, verbally, or emotionally abused by the men in their lives because "they had to submit". Gross misinterpretation of Scripture.
Good for you! I’m baffled when I hear how some people raised their children - it’s flat out lies they told their girls in an effort to “protect” their purity. I’ve heard stories of girls who struggled after marriage, but it recently hit close to home and I found out a family member who has been married for a few years has never had real sex. Her mom raised her that if she touched a boy she would become with child - she wasn’t even allowed to ride a motorcycle with her brother. 🤯 I prefer the balanced side of healthy, honest relationships where moms can be discreet but truthful with their girls about this topic in their later teens. How can you be ready for something you’ve never thought about or studied?
I need to tell you something super important that will help you understand what happened in the past. There was no double standard between men and women, there were two separate standards. Allow me to explain, decades ago when I was young and first heard about the double standard I, like most people, thought it was unfair. However at the time I truly believed it would be trivial to solve. I realized there was nothing standing in the way of women being every bit as picky about sexual history as men. Women are, and more or less always have been, on a personal level, able to reject men who weren't virgins when married, or were at least relatively chaste in that they only would have sex in serious relationships. It was genuinely confusing to me when that didn't happen, after all why shouldn't women hold men to the same standard? There is fundamentally no equality on an issue like this. If you accept personal autonomy men and women must be allowed to apply any standard or criterion for their spouse they wish. Men and women will simply rate different characteristics at different values. The equality we should strive for is the equality of personal choice.
Today for being a 20 year old male. Marriage is not the answer for a happy life. That is something that just happens. You can't plan if you're ever going to get married and if you don't get married or ever have sex you can still have a really good life. Sometimes when men get married they lose some of the things they wanted to do for their living since they now have a family to watch. My goals right now are to succeed in college to become a civil engineer, eventually be out of state and become a music artist. Not an artist screwing around and having sex cause there is a big chance to make the girl pregnant even if they've been on birth control. Just a music artist living a great life with bringing something to the world.
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@@thecommentors9973 I'm exaggerating a little bit. Plus, putting on a condom is easy by design and you can look it up on the internet. Additionally, teaching to use condoms in this way implies that it is something that you absolutely need. The message of this video is the contrary: you do not need sex. I'm not suggesting to tell people to abstain at all costs or otherwise their lives will be ruined. I'm suggesting that teaching morals, ethics, control, and correct behaviour would be more beneficial for their and others' emotional wellbeing.
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4:20 CGP grey's video on mind viruses includes this concept. Where two viruses that are at odds can actually behave symbiotically by feeding off the ostensible opposition between them
I'm glad Live Action noticed and acknowledged the how harmful purity culture has been. And regarding the contradiction she mentioned, that sex is both "not a big deal" and the path to true happiness, because of ones innermost desires - If you take sex as a whole, then it's not even a contradiction. So one act can be casual, amother one can be meaningful, but the combined experiences as a whole and the fulfilment of ones true desires is what leads to a happy and content life. Just a thought that came to my mind while listening to the video.
To anyone who enjoyed this video, I would seriously recommend reading "Love and Responsibility" which goes much deeper on these themes. The Theology of the Body Institute on UA-cam also puts out great content.
I dont know about that. His harshest words were for hypocrites - it wasn't just that they were legalistic, its that they were legalistic for OTHER people and not for themselves.
I often joke about people who have WWJD merch, but don't show any Christ like behavior to money changers. I have so many reasons to hate the Southern Baptist Convention and their adjactents.
Love that Live Action is tackling sexual ethics. So much of the abortion issue is downstream of hook up culture.
So true!
So much of abortion is about yeeting the Idiocracy.
Couldn’t agree more!!!
100%
@@skylinefeverWhat..?
Surface level sex is going to leave you unsatisfied. But a deep, intimate connection with a spouse is more satisfying. It's like snacking vs. having a meal. One leaves you lacking and wishing for something more, whereas the other (in a healthy, loving marriage) *should* leave both of you satisfied and more in love
Sure. Now build an insurance policy on that magical connective sex.
Married sex can just suck sometimes, like everything and casual sex and be amazing. We should hype up marriage sex as this golden goose. It's not about getting a certain quality of sex out of marriage, but commitmenting to a person for life and knowing they will stick by your side.
@gustavusadolphus4344 Yes, this is an important clarification to make. Nowhere in scripture does God promise good sex within marriage. Dysfunction, disease, and disability are very real, so I don't want to minimize that. However, if both spouses are committed to communication, understanding, and practice, I think things can be mostly satisfying. I've learned that submitting to and respecting my husband when paired with his cherishing and nourishing of me tends to bring a lot of joy and harmony to our marriage -- including the marriage bed. We set ourselves up for success the more we obey and seek the Lord together and individually. Submitting to Christ as the Lord over our marriage brings a lot of peace and freedom. Even in the midst of dysfunction and hardship. God bless you!
even the worst sex is better than no sex.
@@berkay6947this is not tru at all lmao
Can we show this in every high school asap? WOW. Excellent.
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Every middle school too
Even the elementary
It's not the school's job to teach children about sex. If this needs to be shown anywhere it is in the home
I know for sure that kids and teens would definitely take this as a joke if they were to be shown this at school.
What? Are you kidding? This is backward advice for kids.
One big problem I have seen growing up is how nowdays "love" is chalked up to sex. True love isn't sexual, it's sacrificial.
People who see marriage as a free pass to unlimited sex have the implied premise that marriage soley exists for sex (which is untrue). Marriage is so much more than having sex, it is you choosing to lay down your life to support, love, and cherish your spouse and vise versa. A marriage between two people who are selflessly giving themselves to eachother is going to be much happier than a marriage where each party is busy trying to get what they want from eachother.
Life won't be rosy all the time, and when someone only values you for your body, when things get tough, it's easy for them to get up and leave for another person (I've seen it happen to people around me).
Sacrificial love is true and will stand the test of time, sexual love is temporary and will often fade away when things get rough.
Sacrifice of what? Healthy sexual relations strengthens marriages, not focusing on weird, outdated social mores.
Self-sacrifice has its place. I believe we tend to place our partners and children’s need above our own, in general, but if one is feeling isolated, it’s always good to share those feelings with one’s partner.
Sometimes sexual intimacy is all that’s needed to eliminate stress in one’s partner, the results being for obvious reasons.
@@TheFirefishe Yeah, sex gives me dopamine hits so we can use it for an adhd meltdown. But in an actual marriage that lasts, we don't just use sex to make our partner feel better. In fact, when my husband and I were young and life got difficult we used to take sex out of our relationship so we could focus and strengthen our bond. I disagree with your theory that healthy sex is what strengthens marriage, healthy communication does that.
@@NiaLaLa_V - Well, I certainly don’t disagree with you on that point. The facts are that BOTH ARE ESSENTIAL. The physical part can be postponed for other foci, of course, when appropriate, as seems to be in your particular circumstance.
Balance In All Things. ❤️
I would love to agree with you, except that is what the Catholic Church's view on marriage is, unfortunately. It is just sex.
It's why impotent people can not marry. That's it.
Arranged marriages are, of course, still valid for this reason. It has nothing to do with love. Feelings come and go, but a marriage remains.
As such, this whole philosophy on "mutual self giving" from the so called "Theology of the Body" is completely undercut.
@@nicksimmons1305 - What Saith Thee? Since when is impotency a barrier to Catholics getting married?
I’ve never heard of such a backwards thing! Impotency is a medical condition. And have you never heard of Viagra or Cialis?
Please!
LOVE this!!! Abstinence until marriage isn’t about shaming others, it’s about promoting the healthiest lifestyle. We weren’t meant to sleep around as human beings, and we also aren’t meant to deny our nature that brings about children. This is put so eloquently. Well done!
You literally think the other lifestyles are evil, can't get anymore shaming then that.
@@thecommentors9973 When on earth did I say that?💀 I may believe sex before marriage is a sin, but every single one of us without exception is a sinner in different ways. When people tell you to not sleep around, it shouldn’t be out of shame, but wanting you to have a happy and healthy sexual life. Hookup culture has ruined society and now so many people are struggling to find deep connections with people outside of sex. It’s a huge problem that a culture that teaches abstinence and responsibility can fix. Don’t make assumptions when you don’t know me please!
@@justyouraveragebaka9493 sin is literally evil. You are not just saying that your view is the best but that doing it outside of marriage is immoral. Also a culture of abstinence and responsibility is what we had and it failed.
@@thecommentors9973 Lila explained in the first portion of the video that the hookup culture that rose from the sexual revolution in the 60’s happened BECAUSE there was a double standard. Men weren’t expected to be pure like women were. We didn’t have a culture of responsibility and abstinence. Often times throughout history that’s more or less the case.
People aren’t hateful for having values that dictate right from wrong. I may see people doing something that I myself find immoral, but that doesn’t make me hate those people.
Look at what statistically leads to the happiest and longest marriages. Abstinence. Nothing is ever a guarantee, but the peace that I’ve personally witnessed from my own family and other families I’ve seen that started off with these values cannot be denied.
I fully recommend watching the video to the end, it’s quite clear that this message isn’t about shame. She even warns against shaming sex.
@@justyouraveragebaka9493 where are you getting the data that says that? What I've seen is mostly correlation equals causation.
"Your sexual urges or attractions are not the deepest part of who you are."
It's so simple, but so many people have been told otherwise.
They may not be the deepest, but they ARE deep enough to make an impact.
Fostering healthy moderation in all areas of one’s personal life is healthy, balanced, and natural.
Subjugating the body to the point of unhealthy denial, however, is not.
As has been stated elsewhere, those with a high libido may need to enjoy intimacy with others of similar vein-either inside or outside of marriage.
This is a modern world. One can enjoy casual, sexual relationships if one knows one’s partners, and everyone has each other’s health information.
Limiting one’s partners to a small group of trusted people is preferable, of course, to having an affair with the entire planet, so to speak, and marriage is good for those who do want to spend their lives together.
I just don’t think it’s fair to vilify the secular crowd who are not religious and look at concepts like sin as being ridiculous. I don’t believe in sin, myself, being Wiccan, although, I do follow a subjective element comprising correct and incorrect actions, following, for the most part, the axiom of doing one’s best for the greater good without being a nuisance about it.
@@TheFirefishe I often say if unfilled desires were not a problem, choir boys wouldn't get exploited.
Well done. This does more than cover lies. This is sex 101.
"Our sexual desires are things we experience, not the core of who we are." Well put. Everyone needs to listen to this, but especially the young people of today.
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Imagine the benefit and the lives and the marriages that could be saved if this video was shown in all highschools across America.
This video may not be shown all around but it can be shown to our children when they are older and may GOD save their future
Right? Forget PP's "sex ed" and show this!!
Imagine the benefit some people would get and not others.
@@christinavessel1779 - Can you imagine if our older children-and younger-were treated with deserving respect by not burdening them with guilt over theistic nonsense that has never been given evidence for its support?
I Can!
@@TheFirefishethe secular culture that treats people as means for an end, no valuable meaning except who decides to assign value and as the OP pointed out, the consequences of secular culture that treats sex casually that is he same culture denies. We’ve seen this for decades and there’s an abundance of evidence for it. Studies show Christian families are far more content and solidified; nice try but atheists altogether tend to be more miserable.
Here is the sex education we really need! More than just "how to out the parts together".
Love this! Great points. God doesn't promise great sex to anyone. It often takes years to learn your spouse to have great sex. Communication, understanding, and practice are so key!
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We need to get this in video in every 8th grade classroom.
The problem with the purity culture of the 90s was that parents were drilling into their kids that they must save themselves for marriage but then didn't marry them off when they reached adulthood. Instead they set them up for failure by sending them to hedonistic adult daycare. How was that ever going to work?
haha "hedonistic adult daycare."
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Maybe the Christians of the 1980s and 1990s had the assumptions that things would make a comeback.
I often say it was like the people who tolerated no fault divorce and assumed a new marriage rate would continue on.
So much this! It's all good choosing abstinence, but it gets to be discouraging when you grow up and then family and friends don't know who to pair you up with. Hence why a lot of us in our late twenties, thirties and even forties are still single.
@@HaleyMary This, 100%. If parents are going to put those kinds of demands on kids, then they should also be actively involved in helping their children find a partner. We don't need to bring back arranged marriages or anything drastic like that, but the way shy, bookish men use to meet shy, bookish women to make good matches is their parents would conspire to put them together in the same room. Now the only people who are getting married are the extroverts.
Absolutely 💯%
My husband & I would council these 20-somethings who just wanted to be married but their Christian parents would absolutely refuse to allow it until they went to college even if the girl wanted to be a SAHM. They demanded she get a degree in anything. Then forced them to work in that field for a while. By then, they'd been dating for YEARS doing so sorts of sexual things.
Just let them get married. By the time they finally married, they then struggled to conceive but the ones who didn't were told to wait another 4-5 years before having babies. I don't understand what's wrong with these parents.
God bless you, girl. I truly thank God for your voice. It is greatly needed, today.
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This video should be mandatory in sex ed. Add that to the public curriculum now.
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Simple and to the point. Thanks for this!
I want to be able to convey this as eloquent when raising our kids and having these conversations. thank you.
"To treat sex as cheap is to treat others as cheap and yourself as cheap" love this one! ❤😊
This video should be shown & shared by everyone.
This young woman speaks of the Truth 🙏🏽🩵🩷
5:39 A sex object. Wow, I never put it into words but that is exactly how I felt early on in my marriage (17 & 18). We were both abstinent before marriage. After marriage there was SO much intense desire- I was overwhelmed by him. 14 years down the road we have ironed quite a bit out; things are great. I forget it was an issue. Praise God for growth in us both.
Beautiful
These topics are SOOOO needed today! So grateful for the work of Lila rose and Live Action
Love your work!
My doctoral thesis was on Navigating Sexual Love in Marriage for couples in midlife or those approaching midlife. In it, I address what you’re talking about, what I refer to as the “radical no” of purity culture and the “radical yes” of permissive culture.
Thank you for standing in the gap in such a thoughtful and articulate way, Lila Rose.
This is a great and very necessary video that should be shared on as many media outlets as possible. I, for one will be sharing it in the hope my friends and family will watch, listen & learn! Thanks You!
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Great video and a great series. I am so grateful for this as a resource and will certainly be using this with my youth group. Thank you!
I am a man, and I honestly believe that "purity culture" played a large role in the reason why I had sexual desires for other men instead of women. "Purity culture" taught me that women hate sex while only men desire sex. It also taught me that sex is inherently harmful for women. Therefore, I became fearful and disgusted by the idea of sex with a woman. A sexual relationship with another man appealed to me more because if only men enjoy sex, then the only type of sex that is mutually pleasurable is homosexual behavior between two men. Fast forward to today, and this same fear in me resurfaced with the rise of the Me Too movement, which teaches that a man's sexual desire for a woman is inherently predatory. Feminism and "purity culture" have more in common that people realize.
I guess one was just a foolish overcorrection to the other.
That is Very interesting.
@@joshuaburkey5841 I know, right?
I know feminism and purity culture both set up guys to be betas that are too afraid to talk to women in a way that would attract them.
Purity culture taught me that to greet a woman with a hug, to hang out even in groups, or even to look a woman in the eyes when we talked to her; were all things that my friends and I learned from purity culture in YG were "lustful" or at least would lead to us lusting. I'm 30 now and still struggle with looking in a woman's eyes as I talk to her, it's easy for me to look past her or even look in between her eyes or another part of her face. I also majorly struggle with being able to ask a woman for her number, or to ask her on a date. These things still feel borderline evil to me.
@@BeUnique94-v1i These things are completely evil. Perhaps demonic.
Capitulating to ones impulses in every other context is not laudable. Overeating, being slothful, and giving into ones anger are not considered virtues. So why is conceding to ones sexual urges being praised by pop culture? Answer: If the powers that influence the world can trivialize intimacy, and the love that *SHOULD* be attached to acts of intimacy, they can more easily break up families, which have been both the foundation of civilization and a bulwark against tyranny. Breaking up this bond leaves people atomized and isolated, and therefore easy to exploit and control.
Tyranny? It would be an act of small government to allow hookers and blow.
Or are you going to have a 1984 slavery is freedom argument?
I heard the argument that making family men prevents tyranny. Communist Romania banned birth control and abortion to boost family formation. So much for preventing tyranny.
On the point of "sex is no big deal". It objectifies the person. Any act in which you objectify another person is morally wrong and is harms you just as much as it harms them.
I remember a guy desperate to learn his virginity in college. He finally hooked up with a girl at a party and had sex. He was deeply disappointed by the experience and felt hollow afterwards.
Thank you for this message! You covered so many great points, and spoke the truth. A lot of people won’t want to hear this message, but it needs to be spoken of more. Keep it up!
My ex had already had sex with a guy in college. Then after about 12 or 15 years (I don’t really remember) she cheated on me, with a coworker of hers. I have still been forgiving of her Lying, Cheating, Abusing ways. I however will not ever take her back.
8:15 "it bonds you with a person" people don't get that these days
Sex doesnt mean anything important at all 🙄 but somhow, at the same time, rape is worse than physical assault. Hows that make sense ?
It matters when consented to.
Rape is an attack against you both physically & emotionally.
Everything is all about connecting! Love your message!
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what an amazing video. thank you! I will show it to my sons when they are older
the satanic abyss and chaos, and fornication. Narcissism, selfishness, and sin.
i did prayed for a partner but nothing happened there was no indicator that the moment has happened. what's wrong?
@@ramonmuniz4950 The thing that went wrong is people assuming that the Christpill works for everyone.
@@skylinefever i want to experience it regarding a partner.
Why not an angelic realm and order, beautiful love making, self-sharing with others, and correct action? These can exist, too, as well as the above. I'd choose the latter.
"Sex is for lovers".
That's a great motto.
Thank you!
This was very well done! Good job team.
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Well that was refreshing.
Someone in the comments said this should be shown in classrooms. I agree.
Ive skipped most of the videos I see pop up from you guys but the videos on why we think the way we think about sex and the history of that have been enlightening and interesting, hope to see videos like this reach alot of people.
Thank you so much, Lila, for this wholesome and informative video... We badly need more people to have this mindset ... This is the TRUTH we all need to hear.... Thank you soooooo much!
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Thank you miss for putting in the qualifier at 2:41 honestly, thank you for not just saying Men.
Thank you, sister, well done!
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Amen! Thank you!!
You are so right.someone has to say this
Very good stuff here!
Crazy I think this might be the first video I ever watched on this topic, where I don't disagree with anything
Excellent work, Live Action. Well produced. 👏🏼 I’m contributing so that you can continue this important work. More prayers to you 🙏🏼
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I'm waiting for marriage. This video was just set it in stone thank you.
This is just brilliant!
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Thank you for sharing that, I'm a Seventeen year old and what I am hearing was all kinds of negativity about the topic sex. My mother talks about what is sex, but never says the deepness and impact it has on you. I'm still a virgin waiting to get married before having sex. I also don't believe in just getting married to have sex. I would like to bond with the person and have a Godly marriage not just to have sex and done. I even grew up in a church that hides the topic just cause they think it's embarrassing and have us in the blue hardly knowing anything. All they just say is to wait until marriage.
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using Napoleon Dynamite as you representation of the sexual prosperity gospel is the best example of my love life in my teens and early twenties
Very great message!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I never considered characterizing purity culture as a "sexual prosperity gospel" but it's totally on point.
I can't help but think that it unintentionally contributed to the rise of the incel movement. You now have emotionally stunted so-called "nice guys" from their 20s to well into middle age who think they're "owed" sex because they've followed an arbitrary set of rules, only to explode with rage when that "reward" is not forthcoming despite what they perceive to be their "best efforts".
I already see a few of them in the comment section, exhibiting their predictable lack of self-awareness, as usual.
I love this series! Thanks so much Live Action❤
Thank you for speaking on this
Love this channel.. particular this spokesperson.
Modern day marriage is a commitment to the state. Big problem.
The manosphere has many great points, and the Godpill salespeople continue to pretend the red pill is absolutely invalid in all ways.
Amen!
Awesome job Lila
so true!
Both the sexual revolution and “purity culture” are two extremes of a healthy (Catholic) understanding of our sexuality as men and women, what sex is for, and God’s design for men and women! Thank you for putting out this kind of content!!
Will have to watch the full episode.
Thank you for these amazing podcasts!! ❤
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You are spreading the truth about sex, marriage, and relationships. Your teachings are healthy. God bless you for this and your holy work against abortion. From a non Christian.
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Truly excellent. I want to share this with everyone I know, to let everyone see the beauty and clarity of God's vision for us and our nature
All the movie references are impressive. How?
Marvellous interpretation!
Thank you for sharing the truth with ❤️
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Can a wise older woman please tell me something? Is it foolish to stay with an unfaithful man? I want what is best for our children.
Awesome ❤
That’s right we “have a choice” and have been given the ability to use self control. “…sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Genesis 4:7 You don’t eliminate something wonderful that God created, just “rule over” your impulses and desires, and enjoy things like sex in an appropriate context.
Keep on telling the truth to whoever will listen.
Good job - Thank you!
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This was great!!!
Yeah. They came out like "demystify sex" and were talking about "sex-positive" as though anyone in the world is absolutely and unironically "sex-negative" (as opposed to being black-pilled about it. I'd say those people aren't exactly sex-negative as much as they just had some rough experiences). I honestly think they just ended up over-mystifying sex and is also just ruining it for everyone because everyone is getting used and children are being born into broken homes.
I guess it is an overcorrection. So many people had crappy youth from absentee parents, so they became helicopter parents. That had its own set of problems.
I've watched thru my lifetime (start 1953) how the world has changed. It's extremely important to emphasize biblical truth of marriage! Not just an act, but a requirement to move on to heaven. Just like baptism . You may start out in life ignorant, but it's up to you to search for the truth to go on the right path. The video is a great start to realizing what is before everyone!
Marriage is not a requirement to get to heaven. Putting faith and love in Jesus christ and believing in him wholeheartedly and following his teachings to the best of your abilities gets you to heaven
I wonder how many people even bothered if it wasn't for SBC hellfire and brimstone types.
That’s fine. It might be beneficial if you wait for marriage. But on the other side of the coin, telling people not to masturbate in the meantime isn’t the answer either.
No men aren't praised. I've been celibate a long time while girls slept around.
Underrated comment.
As a matter of fact they are outright rejected by women for being celibate.
@@apachewraith is that why Tim Tebow has a hot wife?
@@Farehaven You assume he's not her 2nd pick. Fatal mistake.
@@Farehaven you may also be looking at the exception, with him being a celebrity, and not the rule. However i hope that example could become the rule
Fantastic! 🙏🙏
This is so good! I somehow expected her to pull out the Bible, though.
Wow, this was so good! Seeing how both the Sexual Revolution and Purity Culture are similar in their false premises helped me. I was damaged by the latter teaching, but praise to God, I turned to Scripture to see what the true purpose and design of sexuality is and now have a wonderful, pure, consecrated, excited, knowledgeable, and healthy stance on sexuality. I am joyfully waiting for marriage and learning and researching in the meantime. Part of the harm of purity culture is the "don't talk about it" mentality. Going into marriage totally ignorant is one of the dumbest things ever. Why would you not be studied up on this very important aspect of human existence? I truly think that most of the discomfort/pain that women in particular experience from sex could be eliminated if girls and boys were better trained in anatomy, the reproductive cycle, and issues that typically make sex uncomfortable for females. All at age-appropriate levels, of course! I am WAY more confident and ready to experience intimacy than I was before because I have a good grasp of how my body works, conditions that are affecting my fertility and ability for future sex, how mental and emotional arousal are just as major as physical arousal, and how to avoid common mistakes of many Christian newlyweds. Granted, I don't have it all down, and there's a lot I can't know until I am married, but I am so glad that the Lord rerouted me to a holy and beautiful view of His creation of sex.
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I think about how purity culture sucked because it encouraged sex crime victims to not speak up.
@@skylinefever Yes! I've heard about women and girls who were basically forbidden to speak up or leave when they'd been physically, verbally, or emotionally abused by the men in their lives because "they had to submit". Gross misinterpretation of Scripture.
Good for you! I’m baffled when I hear how some people raised their children - it’s flat out lies they told their girls in an effort to “protect” their purity. I’ve heard stories of girls who struggled after marriage, but it recently hit close to home and I found out a family member who has been married for a few years has never had real sex. Her mom raised her that if she touched a boy she would become with child - she wasn’t even allowed to ride a motorcycle with her brother. 🤯 I prefer the balanced side of healthy, honest relationships where moms can be discreet but truthful with their girls about this topic in their later teens. How can you be ready for something you’ve never thought about or studied?
Nothing stops the hottest guys from also being the nicest. Hot guys I think get a bad reputation.
So many years we were told only lies about sex ,thank you for bringing light into the lies and share truths we need that more than ever 👍🏼🙏🏼
I like the tone of those videos. Well done!
they don't sound condescending.
Great! Share them with everyone you can!
Love what you talk about, keep up the good work! ❤
Great message Mrs Rose.
I admire what you do for God's Kingdom.
I need to tell you something super important that will help you understand what happened in the past. There was no double standard between men and women, there were two separate standards.
Allow me to explain, decades ago when I was young and first heard about the double standard I, like most people, thought it was unfair. However at the time I truly believed it would be trivial to solve. I realized there was nothing standing in the way of women being every bit as picky about sexual history as men. Women are, and more or less always have been, on a personal level, able to reject men who weren't virgins when married, or were at least relatively chaste in that they only would have sex in serious relationships. It was genuinely confusing to me when that didn't happen, after all why shouldn't women hold men to the same standard?
There is fundamentally no equality on an issue like this. If you accept personal autonomy men and women must be allowed to apply any standard or criterion for their spouse they wish. Men and women will simply rate different characteristics at different values. The equality we should strive for is the equality of personal choice.
Today for being a 20 year old male. Marriage is not the answer for a happy life. That is something that just happens. You can't plan if you're ever going to get married and if you don't get married or ever have sex you can still have a really good life. Sometimes when men get married they lose some of the things they wanted to do for their living since they now have a family to watch. My goals right now are to succeed in college to become a civil engineer, eventually be out of state and become a music artist. Not an artist screwing around and having sex cause there is a big chance to make the girl pregnant even if they've been on birth control. Just a music artist living a great life with bringing something to the world.
This is why guys seeking no commitments get a vasectomy, and get regular checkups.
The AIDS crisis in the 80s and 90s didn't help.
This is what should be taught to children at school... Not how to put on a condom.
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So you want them not to be educated and to be more at risk?
@thecommentors9973
Did you watch the video?
@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua yes. What is shown to reduce abortion and lead to better outcomes for children is comprehensive sex education, not abstinence.
@@thecommentors9973 I'm exaggerating a little bit. Plus, putting on a condom is easy by design and you can look it up on the internet. Additionally, teaching to use condoms in this way implies that it is something that you absolutely need. The message of this video is the contrary: you do not need sex. I'm not suggesting to tell people to abstain at all costs or otherwise their lives will be ruined. I'm suggesting that teaching morals, ethics, control, and correct behaviour would be more beneficial for their and others' emotional wellbeing.
Nice video, I'm 22 by the way and I have found the exact same solutions in the bible. It's amazing
I truly love this!!!
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You're doing the Lord's work here. God bless you!
4:20 CGP grey's video on mind viruses includes this concept. Where two viruses that are at odds can actually behave symbiotically by feeding off the ostensible opposition between them
It’s not pre-marital sex if you never marry. Mwah!
Marriage has many amazing benefits, and sex outside of marriage has lots of devastating consequences: ua-cam.com/video/-yW-j3C6CYI/v-deo.html
It is just a meaningless use of another person's body, based on a lie and a refusal to care.
Glory to Jesus Christ
Glory Forever!
This was like listening to Theology of the Body for modern America lol!!! Thank you Lila! 🤍🤍🤍
I would like to get married, but I do not want children.
I'm glad Live Action noticed and acknowledged the how harmful purity culture has been.
And regarding the contradiction she mentioned, that sex is both "not a big deal" and the path to true happiness, because of ones innermost desires - If you take sex as a whole, then it's not even a contradiction.
So one act can be casual, amother one can be meaningful, but the combined experiences as a whole and the fulfilment of ones true desires is what leads to a happy and content life.
Just a thought that came to my mind while listening to the video.
It can have deep meaning for some and not others.
I often say a huge lie about sex is that it will work the same for everyone.
@@skylinefever Oh yes, absolutely! Thanks for bringing that up.
To anyone who enjoyed this video, I would seriously recommend reading "Love and Responsibility" which goes much deeper on these themes. The Theology of the Body Institute on UA-cam also puts out great content.
I would disagree with the statement that “purity culture is closer to the truth”. Jesus most harsh words were for those who were legalistic
I dont know about that. His harshest words were for hypocrites - it wasn't just that they were legalistic, its that they were legalistic for OTHER people and not for themselves.
I often joke about people who have WWJD merch, but don't show any Christ like behavior to money changers. I have so many reasons to hate the Southern Baptist Convention and their adjactents.