That's complete bullsh!t. If any of this garbage was true he would show up to my house an smash my face off my keyboa&$*@(?@,@¥#¥#9#*'jshznzismsmms k I ixjdjndmssmzk k kkxksks
When Chuck Norris was in High School, He was assigned by his teacher an essay about “what is courage?” Fortunately for him, he got an A+ for just writing his name on the top of the Paper.
I'm surprised that when they filmed "The Way of The Dragon" the studio didn't explode with the awesomeness caused by Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris' presence under one roof.
Back in 1985, Chuck Norris was kayaking from New York to England because he missed his flight. While he was out in the ocean, he came upon a ship out searching for the wreck of the Titanic . Being the nice guy that he is, he swam down and showed them where it was ! He then offed to bring it back up, but they said "No thanks, we want to get some pictures first "
The truth is that the little girl Jesse-Jane McParland was busy with her daily swim between Ireland and America and back when she met Chuck Norris in his kayak. She tied Chuck Norris a heavy anchor to his legs and threw it into the ocean. When after a few weeks they pulled the anchor with Chuck Norris up there, the missing ship was stuck to the Titanic. She then swam with the anchor, Chuck Norris and the Tatanic to the nearest port and there the people who were looking for this boat were warned. For Chuck Norris, nobody was interested and he was thrown back into the ocean and still attached to him with the anchor qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-c5c83750e1712516603e29a9d40c812b.webp
If Chuck Norris was in the MCU he would build uo Titan by his own hands in less then 10 mins and then destroy it in front of Thanos to show him real pain.
That's when perfection have seen the only real perfection of the little girl JJ. Watch what perfection have seen in this videos of both. Chuck Norris vs Jesse-Jane McParland
If it was not Chuck Norris who was Bruce Lee's opponent but the young girl Jesse-Jane McParland, the fighting scene would have been just a second long and then she would put Bruce Lee's jacket over his head. and his Nonchaku was on his chest.
The ocean want to steal the power of Jesse-Jane for making Tsunamis. But she is to fast for the water (Be faster than water my friend) It's at 1;25 of this video. ua-cam.com/video/kKLIq_gADKU/v-deo.html
TEF niname Chuck Norris has black belts in judo (under gene lebell), and bjj (under carlos machado). He has held titles in a couple of different karate formats also. It's fairly easy to look up he's fighting records.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
Because his heart isn't stupid enough to attack him.
Holy shit I can’t believe I came across someone I know in a comment section
Bhaahahahhah
Tom Waits voice and lyrics give Chuck Norris nightmares.
This is just pure gold
Hahah
Chuck Norris does not neeed twitter, he is already following you.
😂😂This is a good one
Good one 😁
Nick RAOL Whenever Chuck Norris wishes to play soccer he changes to Zlatan!
Chuck Norris google account : gmail@chucknorris.com
Nick RAOL 😂😂
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Best one read all day.
Tick tock, Tick tock, Your time is running out.
lol
Brilliant. Love that one. :)
You officially have my approval of a certified human being.
When Chuck Norris caught the Coronavirus, the virus had to self-quarantine for 14 days.
Bold of you to assume that the virus could dare to go near Chuck Norris.
@@anonymous52638 that’s why he “caught” the virus ain’t it?
😂😂😂👍
😂😂😂😂😂👌
@@haimingwang819😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Chuck Norris killed 5000 people in 2 bullets
The first one was a warning
The 5000 people laughed to death when he shot in his foot at the second shot
Underrated comment.
The 2nd was in his dream ... ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
chuck Norris killed the great white shark with a blink
After 5000 people died of fear, the second bullet was shot into the air and Lucifer fell down.
Time and Chuck Norris had a race
Time is still running
Good one
That's actually a really good one
Did you know Chuck Norris has a role in Starwars? He's the force.
the say that Palpatine head a close chuck Norris experience
He is Luce Skywalker
Chris Pratt gay and
Chuck norris doesn't check himself out in mirrors. Mirrors check themselves out in chuck norris.
What character did he play
When Chuck Norris joins a competition, everyone fights for the second place!
Calculated from below
Chuck Norris vs Jesse-Jane McParland
Good one.
Chuck Norris doesn't make left turns because everything Chuck Norris does is right.
I agree
Joseph Dowling hell of a joke
400th like Yay
Chuck Norris can safely make a left turn at a red light, and a U-turn on the 401 freeway.
Confused leftist screaming.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris hi champ !
NANI!!!!!
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
hahahaha..true dat...
possible, that happens with john connor from terminator!!
Chuck Norris did not lose his virginity, he knows where everything in the world is and has never once lost a thing. He kicked his virginity out.
Curiosity killed the cat... it should have never tried to walk on Chuck Norris' front lawn
Bruce Lee kills Chuck Norris...dies mysteriously years later.
Chuck Norris once played soccer.
He won the game.
Then the match started.
Nice one😂
Ayush Jha thanks haha
Whenever Chuck Norris wishes to play soccer he changes to Zlatan!
Chuck Norris once played soccer and kicked the ball too far
Moon
@@oggyjack8252 lol
If all these comments are honest about Chuck's abilities, he would be able to find me before I finish typing this comme
Rip
3 years since the disappearance of Max Tari…
Ma man be careful who you're talkin
I don't believe t
you until I see it myse
That's complete bullsh!t. If any of this garbage was true he would show up to my house an smash my face off my keyboa&$*@(?@,@¥#¥#9#*'jshznzismsmms k I ixjdjndmssmzk k kkxksks
When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
When chuck Norris' mad , we're dead
+Sherman Swing end of days
6oodfella 69like
6oodfella COPYCAT
Tom ( Tom& Jerry ) once trained with Chuck Norris
- *Now he is called Beerus*
Jerry is trained by Jesse-Jane McParland and eat Tom.
Levi?
When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
noice
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Chuck norris got his driver's license at the age of 16
Seconds
only chuck norris can argue with his wife and WIN
😆😆😂😂
When chuck norris does push ups he’s not pushing himself up. He’s pushing the world down
*cough cough* Ben shapiro
When chuck norris stepped on lego, the lego scream.
how are you bro it's been 3 years
True!
When there's a meteor shower, Chuck Norris grabs a bar of soap.
😂😂
😂😂😂😂
When Alexander bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Copied, but nice try
Epic😂😂
the say chuck Norris writte he's name with pen in the moon only wearing he's underwear
chuck norris can delete recycle bin
+Sarah Elizabeth Chuck Norris doesn't have a cellphone , he communicates via telepathy
+Sarah Elizabeth Gentlmen in wood,oh God . Arnold and Stallone "I can't believe it's not butter-we have that *rap" sink Gothic AMEN.
Lol omfg😂😂
Chuck Norris can run GTA V on a calculator.
Abacus.
Chuck Norris can make a happy meal cry.
I can go skydiving without a parachute
You are dumb haha
@@filipthekumela3688 Yes, but you are dealing with chuck Norris here. He does this all the time
@aight then lol 🙄
@aight then lol ko sta kako ne kontam
When Chuck Norris ask for a coca cola, even when a restaurant only offers pepsi, he GETS his Coca Cola
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and is in fact chicken….but Chuck says it’s beef….then it’s fucking beef.
if chuck norris got bited by a zombie he wont turn to a zombie,the zombie will turn back to a human
xD
New dlc map for bo3 z
Correction: If Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
do one bro if next time zombie movie release they should cast chuck norris as main lead so that he could finish zombie virus
Sameer Ibrahim indeed all the zombies are cured and the result............. there would be an invasion of chuck norris
Chuck once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing at it and yelling "bang"
lol
He also created a flood with his spit
In 1972, Bruce Lee attempted to defeat Chuck Norris by pulling out a chunk of Chuck's chest hair. Less than a year later, Lee died from the injuries.
Hand injury?
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. No one slaps Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was in High School, He was assigned by his teacher an essay about “what is courage?” Fortunately for him, he got an A+ for just writing his name on the top of the Paper.
when Chuck Norris falls,the stars make a wish
The Boogie Man always looks under his bed for Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead. It's just afraid to move.
Legend has it, chuck norris ate the forbidden fruit, and stayed in Eden ever after
Goku vs Saitama, winner Chuck Norris
I know xD
hahahhaa
Jon Miller LMAO
I actually wanr Saitama to fight chuck norris
When Facebook was invented mark Zuckerberg already had a friend request from chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity...Chuck Norris got it back.
Chuck Norris lost his head in a fight with a little girl named Jesse-Jane McParland; now he is the head of all zombies.
Chuck Norris makes the lie detector test confess everything
Chuck Norris has a pet gold fish name Megalodon xD
The "xD" ruined everything
Vegeta looked at the power of Chuck Norris 10 years ago
It's still loading
Meo Be is it still loading?
@@Pissicist2394 yes
Still loading I think?
It's over 9000 THOUSAND
It's over 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000… to muchc
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he simply decides what time it is.
Bulletproof vests wear chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris once got hit by a ship...
Unfortunately, the ship sank. It was called the titanic
FAT BASTARD so chuck norris is an iceberg
you know how Chuck Norris calls Tour de France?
The Great Warm-up.
Only Chuck Norris can eat soup with chopsticks.
saitama's workout regime is the warm up chuck Norris does before bench pressing the earth.
No, it is little Jesse-Jane Mcparland at the other side of Earth who lifts the earth for a moment when powerlifting
@@TheFreddyEduard Shut up you sad little twat adding to peoples jokes.
Fuck off and stay quiet
@@TheFreddyEduard yeah, Shut the fuck up!
I'm surprised that when they filmed "The Way of The Dragon" the studio didn't explode with the awesomeness caused by Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris' presence under one roof.
Well I had to say this joke
Chuck Norris does not play hide n seek he plays
Pray-I-dont-find-you
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird....
and feels bad for the stones
Chuck Norris can stone one bird with two kill...
Back in 1985, Chuck Norris was kayaking from New York to England because he missed his flight. While he was out in the ocean, he came upon a ship out searching for the wreck of the Titanic . Being the nice guy that he is, he swam down and showed them where it was ! He then offed to bring it back up, but they said "No thanks, we want to get some pictures first "
The truth is that the little girl Jesse-Jane McParland was busy with her daily swim between Ireland and America and back when she met Chuck Norris in his kayak. She tied Chuck Norris a heavy anchor to his legs and threw it into the ocean.
When after a few weeks they pulled the anchor with Chuck Norris up there, the missing ship was stuck to the Titanic. She then swam with the anchor, Chuck Norris and the Tatanic to the nearest port and there the people who were looking for this boat were warned. For Chuck Norris, nobody was interested and he was thrown back into the ocean and still attached to him with the anchor
qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-c5c83750e1712516603e29a9d40c812b.webp
Chuck norris's tears can cure cancer but he has never cried
Duration of this video: 4:20
Chuck is magic
Blaze it
SaNtiPlaYer247 Chuck is love. Chuck is life.
Claus Roquefort Damn right!
When Chuck Norris goes to sleep he puts his JJ Golden Dragon slippers next to his bed to protect him
Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek he plays hide and pray i dont find you
mr goomba copied joke
That was funny
.
Heheheh lol so funny
He broke his nose, reset it, then broke it again. i love that.
Jesus may walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
jo me jamo JAIME that just sounds wrong...
When i played the card game war with a friend, France surrendered.
If Chuck Norris was in the MCU he would build uo Titan by his own hands in less then 10 mins and then destroy it in front of Thanos to show him real pain.
fun fact: chuck Norris threw a bomb and killed 50 people then the bomb exploded
😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Dominic Zappia Chuck Norris will destroy you before I'm done writing this comment. You copied someone else's comment and he did not like it.
when you can see Chuck Norris he can see you too. When you Can't see Chuck Norris you could die every moment
When Chuck Norris' car ran out of fuel, it kept going because it doesn't want to die yet
WRONG!
Glad to see that this meme is still going strong.
Chuck Norris has only farted twice in his life........Ever hear of Nagasaki and Hiroshima?
Richard Menke the biggest fart he made is called the big bang
@@squiresnake I thought his ejacuation cause the big bang?
Hahaha
Hahhaha.... I'm gone!!
When Chuck Norris misspells a word, all the dictionaries have to be adjusted.
Chuck Norris and one punch man made a bet on who'd win in a fight... The Loser had to go bald.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with chainsaw
also, he eats diamond nails for breakfast
True fact,Chuck can stop a chainsaw with his hands.
Rico theDemonSlayer he can actually do it while fighting 25 ninjas and roundhouse kicking a giant diamond into eighths
Chuck Norris doesn't deep sea dive he lifts the ocean
old but gold
Is it lord Norris that you drown a fish
Chuck Norris
***** copycat im chuck!
If Chuck Norris is to be cloned and the clone and the original Chuck Norris were to fight the universe as we know it will come to an end.
I AM HERE
Chuck Norris isn’t perfection. He’s what perfection wants to be.
That's when perfection have seen the only real perfection of the little girl JJ.
Watch what perfection have seen in this videos of both.
Chuck Norris vs Jesse-Jane McParland
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice
Chuck Norris is not a human,he is a god
no he is chuck norris
Chuck Norris....never heard of her
If chuck Norris was a woman he'd still be a man
When Chuck Norris gets to heaven, god will be asking him questions.
Ever heard of big bang ?
That was Chuck Norris fart...
Chuck Norris automatically rules out majority rules even if he is the only opposing side.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people....... then it exploded
What shape is Chuck Norris's house? ...ROUND.
Giang Vuong the world right?
Chuck Norris's breakfast includes but is not limited to solid bricks and tears from little children.
If it was not Chuck Norris who was Bruce Lee's opponent but the young girl Jesse-Jane McParland, the fighting scene would have been just a second long and then she would put Bruce Lee's jacket over his head. and his Nonchaku was on his chest.
Chuck norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together
One time Jean-Claude Van Damme did the splits straddled between two moving big rigs. Chuck Norris did it first, but between two space shuttles.
Wow
when a killer was sentenced to die by the electric chair he sighed in relief because he thought he was going to chuck norrised
Chuck Norris had a race with The Flash. The loser had to wear a red costume for the rest of their life.
YukitoOnline omg ;,D
YukitoOnline xD
Chuck norris and the flash had a race of fastest man. The Flash is still running
Then Chuck Norris had a fight with the little girl Jesse-Jane "JJ Golden Dragon" and the loser then had to wear a beard
@Trash er
No, but a JJ sign on his neck and made by Jesse-Jane Mcparland with her Samurai sword
When this man makes an account, the terms and conditions agree with him.
I'm a one man band on youtube. I have a beard like Chuck. Hope you can enjoy one of my songs.
When Chuck Norris walks in front of a mirror it breaks because even a mirror isn't dumb enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris
so so excellent
Signed,
KG
Chuck Norris once got bitten by a kingcobra.
After five days and nights of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
Matchen TheCrimsonGamer Ugh fucking copy cat
Jason Brockett lol... How?
Caden Byrnes LOL
When I was swimming in the ocean, I was scared because I thought I saw Chuck Norris in the water, but luckily, it was just a shark.
+Joseph Dowling the shark was swimming away from chuck Norris.
lol I love you
Chuck Norris can swim in land!
The ocean want to steal the power of Jesse-Jane for making Tsunamis.
But she is to fast for the water (Be faster than water my friend)
It's at 1;25 of this video.
ua-cam.com/video/kKLIq_gADKU/v-deo.html
Everynight... I check under my bed for the Boogeyman ....
Everynight... The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories
Æsir underrated
this comment is so underrated
Pin this comment
Underrated
Hahaha lol
When Chuck Norris takes a test, the test fails...
lmao
You mean the test takes a chuck Norris the test fails.
This is totally possible since the modern school system teaches many errors.
When chuck norris was born he named his parents
He called them Losers and wanted to go straight to the worst martial arts school to become the worst fighter and greatest liar there ever existed.
TEF niname Chuck Norris has black belts in judo (under gene lebell), and bjj (under carlos machado). He has held titles in a couple of different karate formats also. It's fairly easy to look up he's fighting records.
He also built the hospital he was born in. . .
@@TheFreddyEduard you are wrong lol he literally had black belts. Ya fucking idiot
@@TheFreddyEduard what shithead libtard you are
Jesus Christ can walk on water.
Chuck Norris can swim through land.
+JK193765 shut the fuck up you little 8 year old bitch
Jayden Trammell I'm so sorry for you. Are you having a bad day? Do you need help? I recommend lobotomy.
JK193765 stfu your not funny. posting a chuck Norris comment little annoying bitch
Jayden Trammell Good to know.
Camoprime no one asked you and no one ever will lel kek
If Chuck Norris was a woman, he would still be the man.
👌😂
black,that's some Octogon's there ,fro in wood Vinnie "Mars Alert! on a Pencil before it started,walls means that"
cramps walls,oh God! we have this thousand Pope's on a Pencil with Mars Alert.
+The gaming kid at minecraft says the gaming kid at minecraft
i love this comment
Chuck Norris can see John Cena and he can touch MC Hammer
Harlan Valdes 😀😀😀😁😂😃😃😃😄😅😂😂😊😊😊😆😆😅😄😃😂
Harlan Valdes John Cena you can't see me noris yes I can
That comment is brilliant! LOL
Boromir immediately ate his words: "One does not simply walk into Mordor."; after he noticed Chuck Norris sitting at the council of Elrond.
Lol nice one 👍
Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number, you picked up the wrong phone
Ozaire This is great! You also have 86 likes you probably never check this comment from 2 years ago
oh s*** this is the bomb 🤣
When Chuck Norris Fall to the ground
The stars make a wish
The Stars Wish:
Make a zinc hole so deep that Chuck Norris can never come out
@@TheFreddyEduard The stars real wish:
For chuck Norris to come and beat your ass
@Alone Hades Well it wont happen
@@TheFreddyEduard why you are a fucking loser
😂😂😂😂
Chuck Norris once farted. That's known as the Big Bang.
good one
+Rebecca Courtney Yass!
+Rebecca Courtney I once sneezed in the Sahara Forest.
Chuck Norris isn't lucky to have muscle,muscles are lucky to have chuck norris
lol
when chuck norris enter the room, the room leaves
RAHUL so funny but underrated
Lol heje
Chuck norris was bitten by a mosquito. The mosquito later caught malaria and after a few days of agony, the mosquito died
Chuck Norris commited a crime, the Judge was arrested.
He was once charged with attempted murder. The judge let him go because Chuck Norris does not “attempt” murder.
Lmao
Legend says that Chuck threw a grenade killed 50 People then the grenade exploded.
lmao
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Legend says that wen chuck see Bruce lee he bow downs on bow kneews😂💯
+Austin Gonzalez
😂
👙💉
🍠
And then he picked up a gun.
The Infinity Stones were Chuck's chewing gums
Underrated 😂😂
When Thanos tried to snap Chuck Norris out of existence,
Thanos broke his fingers.
Chuck Norris wears the infinity gauntlet to keep warm during the winter
@sockomkplays44h56 why would he need to keep warm, norris doesn't catch a cold, cold catches him
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I'm a one man band on youtube. Do I look like chuck? Hope you can enjoy one of my songs.
When Alexander bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chick Norris.
😂 😂 😂 😂
That is for zlatan
Hahaha
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I only came to this video to read the comments, and never watched the video.
Same here buddy
DUDE SAME
Because chuck norris said so...
Haha same
💖
This comment section is pure gold 🤣
No no, it's pure Diamond 💎
IKR
I'll be honest, I'm here for the latest jokes
@@Toybinger Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open. He took it back the next day for a refund.
God said that Chuck Norris' soul was not to be taken to heaven nor hell because the world will always need Chuck Norris
Vietnam has flashbacks of Chuck Norris
Best one yet 😂🤣😂😂
I'm a one man band on youtube. I have a beard like Chuck. Hope you can enjoy one of my songs.
Hahahahahahahahaha