Met Chuck. Nice guy. Seems he heard about the time he accidentally got me fired. I was working at the Kitt Peak Solar observatory and was the tech on duty when the Sun blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. Folks thought I'd been screwing with the equipment so they fired me. As a favor, he helped me get back on my feet; he got me a gig as the private trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper, after his near-Chuck Norris experience.
@@sarahberkner Thanks. They were actually just a couple of oddball thoughts that hit me, once upon a time, and gave me a chuckle. Once I heard the *real* truth about Chuck Norris, about how he's an active member of his church and is involved in mentor programs for at-risk youth, also how he has taken all the "Chuck Norris Memes" with good humor, I called on my inner Paul Harvey and put this little tale together. Seeing as how they're clean and complimentary, I imagine he wouldn't have any problem with them and, who knows; he might even get a laugh out of them as well.
In mid April 1996, Chuck Norris defeated the Chicago Bulls in a 7 game series, barefoot. The series lasted two games and occupied the entire Billboard chart for 37 weeks.
Chuck Norris can also dribble a medicine ball. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in five seconds. In his spare time Chuck Norris teaches sharks to swim. Chuck Norris doesn't go fishing like everyone else. He simply picks out the fish he wants and says, "Right, get in the bucket." Chuck Norris once killed fifty people with a grenade. Then the grenade exploded. Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bicycle. Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear isn't dead, he's just too afraid to move.
Chuck Norris wasn’t born. He stepped outside when he was ready 💪🏾
Chuck Norris found me to approve this original Chuck Norris joke, after he stared at me and had to revive me.
When chuck notris was born , he drove his mom home
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
What?
Chuck Norris once raced against time.
Time is still running
this one is lit😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Santa leaves milk and cookies for Chuck Norris
😂😂 thats a good one
@@seanhill8949 Ghosts huddle around camp fires to tell Chuck Norris stories
Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass. He gos outside and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris is the unstoppable force AND the immovable object.
When Chuck Norris visits the Museum, the exhibits look at him in amazement.
The reason why light has a finite speed limit is because it doesn't dare to overtake Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris heard nothing could beat him , he found out nothing and beat nothing in a fair fight.
What?
Fists vs fist? No, nothing got to use a set of guns.
Chuck Norris once got cut by a knife.
Now the knife has a bandage.
Chuck Norris took a lie detector test and the machine confessed everything…😜
Most people cannot grasp infinity, infinity cannot grasp Chuck Norris.
_“Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.”_
You said that one twice.
thats because he used TWO ive ccubes smh...
@@hawkskybound4393😂😂😂😂😂
In case you didn't hear it the first time.
You forgot Chuck Norris's favorite one. There's not a chin under his beard, just another fist
Chuck Norris plays a role in Star Wars franchise. He’s the Force.
The Kings sleep on Chuck Norris sized bed.
Edit: Nobody was killed by Chuck because nobody had the guts to go up against Chuck.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out, that’s who. End of story.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell dad jokes Chuck Norris just makes a joke out of every dad.
He knows what the dog is doing. When he walks into a gym, treadmills do push-ups.
Met Chuck. Nice guy.
Seems he heard about the time he accidentally got me fired. I was working at the Kitt Peak Solar observatory and was the tech on duty when the Sun blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. Folks thought I'd been screwing with the equipment so they fired me.
As a favor, he helped me get back on my feet; he got me a gig as the private trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper, after his near-Chuck Norris experience.
LMAO. Nice one.
I like most Chuck Norris jokes, but you put extra work into this.
@@sarahberkner Thanks. They were actually just a couple of oddball thoughts that hit me, once upon a time, and gave me a chuckle.
Once I heard the *real* truth about Chuck Norris, about how he's an active member of his church and is involved in mentor programs for at-risk youth, also how he has taken all the "Chuck Norris Memes" with good humor, I called on my inner Paul Harvey and put this little tale together.
Seeing as how they're clean and complimentary, I imagine he wouldn't have any problem with them and, who knows; he might even get a laugh out of them as well.
I love this thank you. God bless @@jeffanderson8165
When Chuck Norris goes to theme parks, the rides scream when he's on them.
When Chuck Norris goes to Burger King, he orders a kids-size cheeseburger🍔😂.
Chuck Norris can win a rap battle by keeping his mouth closed.
he also invented rap music when his heart started beating
When Chuck Norris went to school and walked into a classroom, the teacher sat up straight.
Chuck Norris filmed the invention of the Camera
Drugs are undergoing rehabilitation after getting addicted from taking too much Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg 😆
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "funeral."
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)
Superman was stuck in a phone booth and dialled 9-1-1.
Chuck Norris showed up
Chuck Norris doesn't see his reflection in the mirror , because there can be only one Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't paint the walls, he just waits for them to change colour.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay his electric bill. The electric bill pay chuck Norris
When the Tooth Fairy's teeth come out, she puts her teeth under her pillow and waits for Chuck Norris to replace it with a gold coin.
Bigfoot, The Boogyman, Superman, Bruce Lee, R.L.Ermey, Jackie Chan are all his Halloween costumes.
Nice one.
When chuck Norris goes to Vegas the machines gamble on chuck Norris and he takes it's money
One time a person made a Chuck Norris joke that didn't really fly, it was the funniest thing said in that decade.
Had to pause this several times lest I have a dam heart attack 😂
Chuck Norris once went sky diving. That's how we got the Grand Canyon.
John cena part was legendary 🤣
Cancer is undergoing Chemotherapy after being diagnosed with a stage 4 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't aim, his bullets just know not to miss 🤣
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger and yelling "BANG".
I heard that in 1945 Chuck Norris fell out of a plane twice the aftermath was Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stares at the grass and dares it to grow
Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a middle name. Nothing comes between Chuck Norris.
Carlos Ray Norris!!!
Party's throw themselves for Chuck Norris. 🔥
Chuck Norris could get P Diddy out of trouble
That's one of the best ones
In mid April 1996, Chuck Norris defeated the Chicago Bulls in a 7 game series, barefoot. The series lasted two games and occupied the entire Billboard chart for 37 weeks.
In winter season Chuck Norris keeps his fire warm
Chuck Norris can cut wet logs for fire wood cause even wood sweats out every thing when it has Chuck Norris over it holding an ax in his hands.
Life doesn’t dare give Chuck Norris lemons 🍋
Chuck Norris quells his heartburn with napalm.
Chuck Norris uses gravel on his slip n slide.
Chuck Norris can also dribble a medicine ball.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in five seconds.
In his spare time Chuck Norris teaches sharks to swim.
Chuck Norris doesn't go fishing like everyone else. He simply picks out the fish he wants and says, "Right, get in the bucket."
Chuck Norris once killed fifty people with a grenade. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bicycle.
Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear isn't dead, he's just too afraid to move.
Good one.
@@quicklinecomedy A friend and I both love Chuck Norris jokes. Keep 'em coming. 😁👍
Chuck Norris doesn't need a freezer. The food cools itself off for him.
Chuck Norris shaved his head, moved to Japan and got a job in films. That's right Chuck is One Punch Man.
Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to make a stick.
When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)
Chuck Norris won an American idol by using sign language
The _Unicycle_ bit is one of my favorites. So is _Swim Through Land._ 😊
Times knows what Chuck Norris it is.
When Chuck Norris was born, he carried his mother home
Two wrongs don’t make a right but Chuck Norris only needs one right to make everyone wrong.
When Chuck Norris speaks, E F Hutton listens.
Chuck Norris never takes painkillers..
Pain takes Chuckillers..
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually run, the Earth just spins faster for him.
You know the key to telling a joke timing.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
And then he drove his mother home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't have Alzheimer's because it saw Chuck and forgot what to do
Chuck Norris blood type is AK47.
This is so...not... gotten old to me. I guess Chuck Norris is truly timeless. Lol
they once made Chuck Norris toiletpaper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone
1000 words are worth lass than a picture of Chuck Norris
Chuck Noris's words are always uplifting
only because they defy the law of gravity...
Chuck Norris can cut down an Oak tree with a pocket knife.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a lightsaber, his forearms will block anything!
Chuck Norris once struck lightning.
When Chuck Norris opens the window, the Oxygen leaves the room.
Chuck Norris stacked his spare bricks after building a house, as a result we now have New York City
Chuck Norris doesn't have Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving has Chuck Norris..
Chuck Norris doesn’t blink the light turns off temporarily.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep late times just running early
What about - Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.
👍❤🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Best comment 😂😂😂
The best one😂
Your FICO determines your credit worthiness, however your Norris score determines your fate
Chuck Norris reads newspapers in 4k.
when Chuck Norris is late they are sorry for starting wihout him
Chuck Norris doesn’t paint the town red, he just stares at it until the walls blush.
Chuck Norris once back handed Rudolph now we know why he has a red nose
Chuck Norris doesn’t look for jobs. They queue up and wait for him to do when he’s ready .
Chuck norris doesn't shower he stares at it until it starts to cry
The only reason Chuck Norris runs, is to keep the earth spinning.
Chuck Morris once got frost bite from fire
When butterflies are in love they feel Chuck Norris in their belly🦋
As a prank, Chuck Norris once peed in the tank of an old beat-up pickup truck 🛻, you know it as Optimus Prime
We don’t know if Chuck Norris can lift Thor’s hammer, he never needed it.
No one needs an alarm in their home, just a picture of Chuck Norris on the front door.
Chuck Norris can travel faster than light!
existence exist because chuck exist
Chuck Norris doesn’t go swimming, he just allows water to be around him 😂
When chuck norris dive 5000 feet down the ocean and his oxygen run out, he go back up to the surfer to refill it.
Hurricanes happen when Chuck Norris farts.
lol.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He stares at it and dares it to grow
When Chuck Norris enters the water he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Norrised
When Chuck Norris left his parents' home on his 18th birthday, he told his father: "You are the family man now".
When CN wants to sleep he puts the Sandman in his eyes