Met Chuck. Nice guy. Seems he heard about the time he accidentally got me fired. I was working at the Kitt Peak Solar observatory and was the tech on duty when the Sun blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. Folks thought I'd been screwing with the equipment so they fired me. As a favor, he helped me get back on my feet; he got me a gig as the private trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper, after his near-Chuck Norris experience.
@@sarahberkner Thanks. They were actually just a couple of oddball thoughts that hit me, once upon a time, and gave me a chuckle. Once I heard the *real* truth about Chuck Norris, about how he's an active member of his church and is involved in mentor programs for at-risk youth, also how he has taken all the "Chuck Norris Memes" with good humor, I called on my inner Paul Harvey and put this little tale together. Seeing as how they're clean and complimentary, I imagine he wouldn't have any problem with them and, who knows; he might even get a laugh out of them as well.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just Islands - Chuck Norris can make the alarm clock wake up - Chuck Norris can roll a 7 on a d6 die - Chuck Norris turns off the sun at bedtime - Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover - Chuck Norris gives quests to NPC's - Chuck Norris can hear pictures
Chuck Norris can also dribble a medicine ball. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in five seconds. In his spare time Chuck Norris teaches sharks to swim. Chuck Norris doesn't go fishing like everyone else. He simply picks out the fish he wants and says, "Right, get in the bucket." Chuck Norris once killed fifty people with a grenade. Then the grenade exploded. Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bicycle. Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear isn't dead, he's just too afraid to move.
Chuck Norris once raced against time.
Time is still running
this one is lit😂
Chuck Norris wasn’t born. He stepped outside when he was ready 💪🏾
Chuck Norris found me to approve this original Chuck Norris joke, after he stared at me and had to revive me.
When chuck notris was born , he drove his mom home
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
What?
Santa leaves milk and cookies for Chuck Norris
😂😂 thats a good one
@@seanhill8949 Ghosts huddle around camp fires to tell Chuck Norris stories
Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass. He gos outside and dares it to grow.
The reason why light has a finite speed limit is because it doesn't dare to overtake Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris heard nothing could beat him , he found out nothing and beat nothing in a fair fight.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell dad jokes Chuck Norris just makes a joke out of every dad.
Met Chuck. Nice guy.
Seems he heard about the time he accidentally got me fired. I was working at the Kitt Peak Solar observatory and was the tech on duty when the Sun blinked during its staredown with Chuck Norris. Folks thought I'd been screwing with the equipment so they fired me.
As a favor, he helped me get back on my feet; he got me a gig as the private trauma counsellor for the Grim Reaper, after his near-Chuck Norris experience.
LMAO. Nice one.
I like most Chuck Norris jokes, but you put extra work into this.
@@sarahberkner Thanks. They were actually just a couple of oddball thoughts that hit me, once upon a time, and gave me a chuckle.
Once I heard the *real* truth about Chuck Norris, about how he's an active member of his church and is involved in mentor programs for at-risk youth, also how he has taken all the "Chuck Norris Memes" with good humor, I called on my inner Paul Harvey and put this little tale together.
Seeing as how they're clean and complimentary, I imagine he wouldn't have any problem with them and, who knows; he might even get a laugh out of them as well.
I love this thank you. God bless @@jeffanderson8165
Chuck Norris doesn’t go swimming, he just allows water to be around him 😂
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually run, the Earth just spins faster for him.
Chuck Norris is the unstoppable force AND the immovable object.
The Kings sleep on Chuck Norris sized bed.
Edit: Nobody was killed by Chuck because nobody had the guts to go up against Chuck.
Most people cannot grasp infinity, infinity cannot grasp Chuck Norris.
_“Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.”_
You said that one twice.
thats because he used TWO ive ccubes smh...
@@hawkskybound4393😂😂😂😂😂
In case you didn't hear it the first time.
Chuck Norris filmed the invention of the Camera
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a middle name. Nothing comes between Chuck Norris.
Carlos Ray Norris!!!
Had to pause this several times lest I have a dam heart attack 😂
You forgot Chuck Norris's favorite one. There's not a chin under his beard, just another fist
When Chuck Norris visits the Museum, the exhibits look at him in amazement.
He knows what the dog is doing. When he walks into a gym, treadmills do push-ups.
Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer
Chuck Norris could get P Diddy out of trouble
Chuck Norris let the dogs out, that’s who. End of story.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "funeral."
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger and yelling "BANG".
I heard that in 1945 Chuck Norris fell out of a plane twice the aftermath was Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg 😆
Party's throw themselves for Chuck Norris. 🔥
Chuck Norris plays a role in Star Wars franchise. He’s the Force.
- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just Islands
- Chuck Norris can make the alarm clock wake up
- Chuck Norris can roll a 7 on a d6 die
- Chuck Norris turns off the sun at bedtime
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover
- Chuck Norris gives quests to NPC's
- Chuck Norris can hear pictures
Chuck Norris can win a rap battle by keeping his mouth closed.
he also invented rap music when his heart started beating
Chuck Norris took a lie detector test and the machine confessed everything…😜
when Chuck Norris is late they are sorry for starting wihout him
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
And then he drove his mother home from the hospital.
What about - Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.
👍❤🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Cancer is undergoing Chemotherapy after being diagnosed with a stage 4 Chuck Norris
John cena part was legendary 🤣
Bigfoot, The Boogyman, Superman, Bruce Lee, R.L.Ermey, Jackie Chan are all his Halloween costumes.
Nice one.
Chuck Norris shaved his head, moved to Japan and got a job in films. That's right Chuck is One Punch Man.
Chuck Norris doesn't paint the walls, he just waits for them to change colour.
Chuck Norris can also dribble a medicine ball.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in five seconds.
In his spare time Chuck Norris teaches sharks to swim.
Chuck Norris doesn't go fishing like everyone else. He simply picks out the fish he wants and says, "Right, get in the bucket."
Chuck Norris once killed fifty people with a grenade. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bicycle.
Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug. The bear isn't dead, he's just too afraid to move.
Good one.
@@quicklinecomedy A friend and I both love Chuck Norris jokes. Keep 'em coming. 😁👍
Times knows what Chuck Norris it is.
When chuck Norris goes to Vegas the machines gamble on chuck Norris and he takes it's money
Chuck Norris blood type is AK47.
Chuck Norris reads newspapers in 4k.
When 'Chuck Norris' tells somebody to "Hurry up!"...he snaps THEIR fingers (Literally)
On the 8th day GOD created Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving. That's how we got the Grand Canyon.
The _Unicycle_ bit is one of my favorites. So is _Swim Through Land._ 😊
Chuck Norris doesn't need a lightsaber, his forearms will block anything!
while nasa has airless tires, chuck norris has tireless air.
Chuck Norris quells his heartburn with napalm.
Chuck Norris uses gravel on his slip n slide.
Chuck Norris once got cut by a knife.
Now the knife has a bandage.
Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to make a stick.
Chuck Norris once back handed Rudolph now we know why he has a red nose
Take one drink every time "Chuck Norris" is said... I dare ya!
Alcohol poisoning speedrun Norris%
When Chuck Norris opens the window, the Oxygen leaves the room.
Chuck norris doesn't shower he stares at it until it starts to cry
Chuck Norris kicked Covid 19 in the knackers
Chuck Norris didn’t get Covid; Covid caught Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t blink the light turns off temporarily.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep late times just running early
When the Tooth Fairy's teeth come out, she puts her teeth under her pillow and waits for Chuck Norris to replace it with a gold coin.
Superman was stuck in a phone booth and dialled 9-1-1.
Chuck Norris showed up
In winter season Chuck Norris keeps his fire warm
Chuck Noris's words are always uplifting
only because they defy the law of gravity...
Chuck Norris doesn’t look for jobs. They queue up and wait for him to do when he’s ready .
Your FICO determines your credit worthiness, however your Norris score determines your fate
You know the key to telling a joke timing.
Chuck Norris never takes painkillers..
Pain takes Chuckillers..
When Chuck Norris enters the water he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Norrised
Chuck Norris created the entire species of giraffe. He got into a fist fight with a herd of horses and gave them all upper cuts.
Chuck Norris doesn't break boards he stares at them and they break themselves.
i drank a gin and tonic. watched this. i cried. literally cried. so freaking hard
they once made Chuck Norris toiletpaper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone
Chuck Norris doesn't pay his electric bill. The electric bill pay chuck Norris
The "Most Interesting Man in the World" is a disciple of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris stacked his spare bricks after building a house, as a result we now have New York City
existence exist because chuck exist
Chuck Norris' groin restomps Master Ken.
I watched an interview with him, and I like that the boogeyman one was his personal favorite.
Chuck Morris once got frost bite from fire
When Chuck jumps in the water
Chuck don’t get wet
The water 💦 gets Chuck!
Hurricanes happen when Chuck Norris farts.
lol.
When chuck norris dive 5000 feet down the ocean and his oxygen run out, he go back up to the surfer to refill it.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak at a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris can travel faster than light!
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
Anthony is so strong even chuck Norris round house kick doesn't ring any bell in his ear
The only reason Chuck Norris runs, is to keep the earth spinning.
When Chuck Norris speaks, E F Hutton listens.
I remember these jokes back in the days of beta WoW. Fun fact I almost went on a date with one of Chuck's God Daughters.
Love the Cena joke 😂😂😂😂
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world and now, every year the Earth tilts on its axis out of respect and fear.
Chuck Norris strikes lightning.
Bro chuck norris made every joke
When Chuck Norris left, his dad became a man of the house
It’s no longer; I double dog dare ‘ya! It’s, I double Chuck Norris, ‘ya!
Chuck Norris can still repair the Titanic and continue its journey to New York.
According to the theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can round house kick you into yesterday.
Chuck Norris was once pulled over for speeding but let the cop off with a warning..
Chuck Norris doesn't have Alzheimer's because it saw Chuck and forgot what to do
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 10 people, and then it exploded