They arent interested in a reciprocal relationship. To them we are simply a means to their end. And you know what? We dont have to stick around to watch the walls come a crumblin' down! Our only value to them is our sweet sweet supply so they can continue their lives of tyranny. Dont give 'em any! Stay Healthy!!
A narcissist told me how afraid that they were as a child, on their first day at school. Trauma early on, can be the reason behind their smugness, invalidating, cocky, lying, gaslighting personality traits. The problem is, we were all scared kids that eventually grew up. Yet, the healthy person doesn't destroy others just because they once felt scared when they were kids.
Narcissists view being posed questions as an opportunity to prevaricate more in order to sow confusion and chaos thereby creating opportunity to undermine and placing themselves in a dominant position.
@@Ultramowing Yep, statement questions are like the old 'How long have you been beating your wife?' question, where it treats certain things as true, then adds a question on top to extend what is being treated as true - it's not asking a question, it's just asking how correct are they. Very correct or very, very correct.
Anyone else has to pause these videos because the chilling accuracy makes you nauseous when you think about the narc in question? ….It’s like watched a scary movie based on a 100% true story…it intensifies it
4 questions that challenge a narcissist's smugness 1. how long will you remain simple-minded? 2. how long will you prioritize agitation? 3. how long will you refuse guidance? 4. how long will you pretend to be someone you're not? cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@SandraII-in9sl The first question would send them into a rage as they will see it as an attack. They then will tell all of their "flying monkeys," what you said, saying, "Can you believe they said that to me?!" Making you look like the one with the problem.
I'd ask why the narcissist pushes an individual away, but then gets mad when that person has had enough and can no longer stand being in the same room with them?
It's a control mechanism. They want people close enough to be controlled by them but not so close that they are less able to be controlled. There's a sweet spot about arm's length away where they don't have to open up and become vulnerable. Get well clear of them. Run away. But not in a way that feeds them. Just vanish.
Dr. C, you are just the BEST at explaining the whole narcissistic thing withOUT causing me to feel angry, frustrated and upset over my lack of ability to have a “normal” relationship with the narcs in my life!! Other channels just seem to feed the fire, which is NOT a successful mindset for those of us with people who display narcissistic tendencies in our lives!! I so appreciate your gentle, honest, and even humorous approach over the mean and angry responses on other channels (believe me, I do not need prompting to respond in anger!!). I appreciate you and your solutions-based mindset approach. It has helped me overlook a LOT and keep my own sanity while surrounded by the brick walls of ignorance that sometimes surround me!!! I appreciate you & thank God for your gentle wisdom!! Bless you!! ❤️🙏❤️
I agree completely. I can watch videos here and more see the absurdity of their behaviour and view it with a bit more mirth. Like you I need to more see the humour in it rather than the harm it has caused me. Once we see the toddler behaviours for what it is it is less scary and more ridiculous
I am satisfied with my life. Even the 5 years I spent connected to the narcissist helped me become the person that I am and am becoming. Yes, he pushed me right up to the edge of tolerance, though he did back off before I actually fell out if his reach. Then he overstepped his bounds and gave me an excuse to not respond to him. It's been a year since I last heard from him, and I've appreciated the peace! Wait, has it been 2 years? Wow, I can't remember-- that's something else yo be grateful for!
Thank you for the great videos! I wanted to add narcissists play the numbers game. So if you say something like I'll be back at 3 pm and you come back at 3:10, they'll say you lied. Or if you tell them some item cost about $10 dollars and the actual cost was $9.99, they'll say you lied. It can cause arguments until you realize the game they are playing to try to make you feel bad about yourself or to make you look bad to others.
Than you so much for this one. Someone I have been unable to avoid recently had their car break down and told me they were getting a "new car" for free. The day they went to pick up this "new" car I had a biopsy for cancer and they told me "I will be thinking about you although I'm literally so excited for this new car it's hard to think of anything else.". The new car is a 2010. They brought it right over and showed me. Kept calling it "my new car" and when I got fed up with it all I asked the mileage. He said it has 185,000 miles but that's ok because he knows it will last 100,000 more. Also admitted that he did not have to pay anything for it because his mom paid for it. He kept bragging about this. I felt awful for his mother who is elderly and it made me sick. Still does. They don't mind using people and have zero remorse. They're also delusional.
Oh dear lord. I really hope your biopsy proves negative. I suggest going grey rock if you’re not doing it already. (Yes, I know it’s difficult for people we can’t avoid but I’ve been persistent and quite successful). Your health depends on YOU focusing on YOU. I truly wish you the best. BTDT. ❤️
Smug is right. After the police tell them to stop, they wait awhile and do it again just to agitate you. Someone who enjoys agitating is just nuts. That is not normal.
“What would it take to convince you that you’re wrong?” That is a question that can leave one scrambling because they cannot comprehend anything that does not reinforce just how right they must be. Here’s the funniest part - I may be wrong. I want to learn what these things are. I’ll do everything I can to watch this premiere when it is released.
@@aaronkwolfe I never asked my narc mother that question but from countless experiences I think it would be similar to nailing Jello to a tree but more enraging. It’s just one of the many ways I never fit in my family but I would rather blame myself for things because that means if I’m unhappy with something then I should be able to change it. Also generally speaking most people understand when you sincerely apologize so I don’t know what these “perfect” narcs are hiding from.
It feels so good and liberating to be human - one of a couple of billions! To feel grateful for everyone that you encounter in that journey called life 😊 I feel so blessed to have been given the chance to meet you dr Carter ❤ thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The weirdest thing was years ago they tried to meld into me. Hard to describe but they started using my speech mannerisms, hobbies and interests and I felt they were stripping me of me bit by bit. That’s when I really restricted internet presence and have been very careful irl but it was very surreal
If you have it all figured out why aren't you happy? If life is your bowl of cherries, why are their pits? (Twist on Erma Bomback) Why do you care one way or the other about my freedom? (specific to my in-laws or out laws) Can others be right if they come to a different conclusion or result than you?
@@Spootiful Great Question! That could be The Million Dollar Question. From my standpoint I think they had to be competitive for acceptance. But I digress.
Thanks Dr. Carter. These videos are helping me work on my own toxicity. I almost spit banana through my nose when you made that comment about slapping someone. I won't be watching your videos during breakfast anymore.
@Michael-kn6ti I can appreciate that. I'm sorry if I sounded defensive. I have a good sense of humor, but dealing with narcissistic abuse hasn't been very funny.
Dr Carter, thank you for your clear, concise online therapy blogs. It has helped me understand where I am in relation to my narcissistic brother, several yrs my senior. Removing myself from his orbit of torment and stay connected with family and friends who genuinely love me has allowed my self worth to understand on a much deeper level that I am a valuable member of society who willingly contributes to better this world one day at a time.
I have known 2 people that admitted to me they where diagnosed narcissist. They both had large portraits of themselves in the lounge room. They transformed into strange dark quiet strangers when they started loosing when I was playing scrabble with them. Is there a You tube about this. I can't find anything. Hope you can shed some light on it one day. Luv your peaceful videos. Its all about the "vibe" . .
It might be a bit specific, but in case it is useful for someone else, I'll suggest this. "Why do you like to tell me that nobody can stand me, and then howl about being victimised by my avoiding being around you?". (In my experience, these people manifest a pattern of contradiction that seems to reflect a breathtaking lack of comprehension about causes and consequences).
My sister epitomizes smugness. Swanning around in her big immaculate McMansion that she thought I was jealous of. Showing off every room without even offering me a cup of tea, or even a glass of water.
@@stybur19 Don't know if you are in the US or Australia, but in Australia a liberal is a conservative voting person with conservative values, whereas in the US I believe it's the opposite, meaning a forward thinking person.
@@snowbear1877 on paper sure but in reality there is literally nothing progressive regarding American liberals, nor has there ever been throughout history with marxists. Are you trying to be sarcastic? Because the whole ideology towards conservatism, which has absolutely no correlation with a Republic, is far more logical and stable compared to liberalism. Liberals don't believe in a budget and certainly don't understand the means of production and prosperity. They have always been the anti working class, unions are not adequate towards economic growth, private sector will always produce more than regulated corporations but again, libs and dems just don't comprehend basic economics.
I've only just been able to watch today's video. I also looked in on the chat replay, and it was heartwarming to see my team healthy family sending me such lovely positive thoughts and wishes. See you soon 🥰
My ex boyfriend uses his excuse of having had a TWELVE YEAR relationship with his ex before me. So to him, I was just “not right” for him. 🙄 He completely got away with not even acknowledging the fact he has severe anger issues, a bad temper, and was SO disrespectful, verbally and emotionally abusive toward me! He is a TOTAL ASSHOLE. We only lasted a mere 6 months this year, but his mask fell off after month #2. 😒 I have NO idea how his 12 year relationship with that ex girlfriend he had before me went. But he was MADLY in love with her. She dumped HIM. They moved into an apartment after just 7 months of dating and then moved into a nice house with 2 dogs and nice cars, the last 4 years before she dumped him. He was DEVASTATED. After our relationship though? We knew each other as friends since our 20’s and we are now in our 40’s. He admitted to me that he moved on within DAYS. 😡 It didn’t take him long at ALL. So it spoiled everything. He broke my heart and treated me like garbage. So not only did we lose our whole friendship but our serious, romantic relationship ended up in flames.🔥💔😞 He hates me and wants nothing to do with me. HE should be the one crying and suffering over the breakup and instead here I am sobbing almost daily and unable to carry on normal activities that I used to enjoy. He really hurt me….
It's hopeless trying to understand/ challenge their Condescending Attitude. Its simply there & there To Stay. Just leave. I am with Robyn: "Certain little boys I just stop deal with Tell you they're your friend and then badmouth again" (Robyn - Cobrastyle)
Definitely hopeless but I think it’s natural to try and understand other people especially if it’s an “important” relationship like mom dad sibling. My friend told me “be glad you do not understand why your mother does mean crazy things to you because if you could understand you would be mean and crazy. Took years but my friend was right and I am glad I don’t understand what goes on in my mother’s evil mind!
@@ryanlewandowsky2077 Yes, certainly understand the drive to understand your environment + the most important people in it. You wont necess. get there with a narc though : They take out their irration on you from something that happened before (that you werent in the room when it happened, so miss out on this info completely) and/ or react on sth that you have no inkling on how this could have been so 'triggering' for them as it wasnt that big a deal at all. I think your friend is right, i believe this as well...
I'm sorry to laugh but from the video start at 0:00 to 04:30 these delusional examples are hilarious 😅😂not to make light of this topic at all but I hope some will at least laugh at just how stupid the narcissist reality really is😅
They never want to discuss things. All issues are so stressful and they just want to see the future and not discuss the past things that cause problems..move forward and suppress the past. No accountability, or discussing why the relationship is forked. They don’t care. They don’t care about working toward a future they just say it..move forward, forget the past.
years ago, new neighbours moved in. she seemed so nice, so generous, funny, charming, warm.... i remember asking her if she'd be interested in sharing together our faults and flaws as i am always interested in self investigation. these weren't my exact words but it was the jist. immediately she told me nope. first red flag. long story short she and her husband systematically destroyed my heart.
"What you MEANT to say, Ocean, is 'TEAM, TALK!" That's what the narcissistic jerk said to me in a chat when I couldn't recall the name of the platform I wanted to mention. And guess what? She did a big bungle with that because I took a while but eventually said the correct name in that one message. The narc just didn't have the patience to listen to the whole thing. She thought she would correct me instead. I called her out in the mext message and she had to admit she had not listened to my message the whole way through. And then, not wanting to admit that was stupid or unnecessary to correct me, and goodness forbid apologize for jumping the gun, she changed the subject to something completely different.
I stopped seeing one of those smug narcissists who made lame excuses for his behavior every time we spoke. He had to be right & have the last word about everything. Bye bye.
I wonder if a person who's a leader in their professional group, say a group of scientists or politicians, will most probably be a narcissist? Leaders' qualities are usually associated wth dominance, aren't they? Or does their dominance differ from that of a usual smug person?
Dr. C you've come across some smug people have ya LoL I'm gonna have guess the expert ❤️ Dr C ❤️ is set in they smug people are not his favorite people.
Wonderful video My partnership of five years ended a month ago. When my true love decided to part ways with me, it truly is the only thing on my mind. I can't fathom my life with anyone else, and even though I've tried everything to get him back, it's all in vain. Despite my best efforts to put him out of my thoughts, I can't help but miss him and think about him all the time. I could not really tell you why I am saying this.
1) Why do you preach too me that apologizing, being vulnerable, & displaying empathy is a sign of weakness, yet, you go on full display w/your vulnerability early & often? 2) When you keep insisting that who I think I met with wasn't actually you.And that clearly, I'm misconfused. How many body doubles/ stunt dummies on the payroll, who are your clones who share same mannerisms, same name, clothes, same office, same car, same wife & telling me who you met with, who wrongfully wrote Me up, signed documents w/o my knowledge that clearly, I'm misconfused. In addition, you're as cool as the other side of the pillow being that some stranger gained access to your office, filling out paperwork, etc. while you're on a year long vacation w/pay.
They arent interested in a reciprocal relationship. To them we are simply a means to their end. And you know what? We dont have to stick around to watch the walls come a crumblin' down! Our only value to them is our sweet sweet supply so they can continue their lives of tyranny. Dont give 'em any! Stay Healthy!!
The competition feeling they give off, when you don't care or even want to know them
YES!! Someone needs to make a song about narcissists and their walls “a crumblin’ down”. 🎯
As the Mister said, Love means your deference to me
A narcissist told me how afraid that they were as a child, on their first day at school. Trauma early on, can be the reason behind their smugness, invalidating, cocky, lying, gaslighting personality traits. The problem is, we were all scared kids that eventually grew up. Yet, the healthy person doesn't destroy others just because they once felt scared when they were kids.
Narcissists view being posed questions as an opportunity to prevaricate more in order to sow confusion and chaos thereby creating opportunity to undermine and placing themselves in a dominant position.
@@Ultramowing Yep, statement questions are like the old 'How long have you been beating your wife?' question, where it treats certain things as true, then adds a question on top to extend what is being treated as true - it's not asking a question, it's just asking how correct are they. Very correct or very, very correct.
Anyone else has to pause these videos because the chilling accuracy makes you nauseous when you think about the narc in question? ….It’s like watched a scary movie based on a 100% true story…it intensifies it
I do. I feel like I want to emotionally vomit, but I can't. If only they taught this stuff back in the 80's & 90's.
That has happened. I've learned to be grateful that the information was available when I was ready to hear it!
4 questions that challenge a narcissist's smugness
1. how long will you remain simple-minded?
2. how long will you prioritize agitation?
3. how long will you refuse guidance?
4. how long will you pretend to be someone you're not?
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@SandraII-in9sl The first question would send them into a rage as they will see it as an attack. They then will tell all of their "flying monkeys," what you said, saying, "Can you believe they said that to me?!" Making you look like the one with the problem.
We need to send these to Trudeau. 😂
I'd ask why the narcissist pushes an individual away, but then gets mad when that person has had enough and can no longer stand being in the same room with them?
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Insecurity that could result from different things. This is a very important question!
Walk away quietly if you need to keep others safe from their barbs.
They’re toddlers trying to control mother
It's a control mechanism. They want people close enough to be controlled by them but not so close that they are less able to be controlled. There's a sweet spot about arm's length away where they don't have to open up and become vulnerable.
Get well clear of them. Run away. But not in a way that feeds them. Just vanish.
They take no responsibility for what they did. Instead, they blame and gaslight you. 😮
⬆ Reported as a scam.
Thanks, I did the same.
Dr. C, you are just the BEST at explaining the whole narcissistic thing withOUT causing me to feel angry, frustrated and upset over my lack of ability to have a “normal” relationship with the narcs in my life!! Other channels just seem to feed the fire, which is NOT a successful mindset for those of us with people who display narcissistic tendencies in our lives!! I so appreciate your gentle, honest, and even humorous approach over the mean and angry responses on other channels (believe me, I do not need prompting to respond in anger!!). I appreciate you and your solutions-based mindset approach. It has helped me overlook a LOT and keep my own sanity while surrounded by the brick walls of ignorance that sometimes surround me!!! I appreciate you & thank God for your gentle wisdom!! Bless you!! ❤️🙏❤️
Here-here! Thank you for expressing so well how I also feel.
I agree completely. I can watch videos here and more see the absurdity of their behaviour and view it with a bit more mirth. Like you I need to more see the humour in it rather than the harm it has caused me. Once we see the toddler behaviours for what it is it is less scary and more ridiculous
Yes. Shallow conversation is the only way I can get along with my older sister. The weather is only so fascinating 🤨.
😂😮😂
*Shallow relationship, said right 👍 .... always appreciative on introspection, Dr. C. Peace 🙏🙌
Jealousy gas a core concept of competition
Great point!
I am satisfied with my life. Even the 5 years I spent connected to the narcissist helped me become the person that I am and am becoming. Yes, he pushed me right up to the edge of tolerance, though he did back off before I actually fell out if his reach. Then he overstepped his bounds and gave me an excuse to not respond to him. It's been a year since I last heard from him, and I've appreciated the peace! Wait, has it been 2 years? Wow, I can't remember-- that's something else yo be grateful for!
Thank you for the great videos! I wanted to add narcissists play the numbers game. So if you say something like I'll be back at 3 pm and you come back at 3:10, they'll say you lied. Or if you tell them some item cost about $10 dollars and the actual cost was $9.99, they'll say you lied. It can cause arguments until you realize the game they are playing to try to make you feel bad about yourself or to make you look bad to others.
At some point, you just hear what they say, roll your eyes, and move on.
Talk about splitting hairs! In a nutshell, they're simply nutty!!!! 😮
@@SurvivingNarcissism Exactly!
Than you so much for this one. Someone I have been unable to avoid recently had their car break down and told me they were getting a "new car" for free. The day they went to pick up this "new" car I had a biopsy for cancer and they told me "I will be thinking about you although I'm literally so excited for this new car it's hard to think of anything else.".
The new car is a 2010. They brought it right over and showed me. Kept calling it "my new car" and when I got fed up with it all I asked the mileage. He said it has 185,000 miles but that's ok because he knows it will last 100,000 more.
Also admitted that he did not have to pay anything for it because his mom paid for it.
He kept bragging about this. I felt awful for his mother who is elderly and it made me sick. Still does.
They don't mind using people and have zero remorse. They're also delusional.
Oh dear lord. I really hope your biopsy proves negative. I suggest going grey rock if you’re not doing it already. (Yes, I know it’s difficult for people we can’t avoid but I’ve been persistent and quite successful). Your health depends on YOU focusing on YOU. I truly wish you the best. BTDT. ❤️
Sounds like a four year old child.
And I’m so sorry for your diagnosis. Take good care of yourself.
This question would just get them in rage and gaslighting
Smug is right. After the police tell them to stop, they wait awhile and do it again just to agitate you. Someone who enjoys agitating is just nuts. That is not normal.
Get well soon dr. Carter
“What would it take to convince you that you’re wrong?” That is a question that can leave one scrambling because they cannot comprehend anything that does not reinforce just how right they must be. Here’s the funniest part - I may be wrong. I want to learn what these things are. I’ll do everything I can to watch this premiere when it is released.
@@aaronkwolfe I never asked my narc mother that question but from countless experiences I think it would be similar to nailing Jello to a tree but more enraging. It’s just one of the many ways I never fit in my family but I would rather blame myself for things because that means if I’m unhappy with something then I should be able to change it. Also generally speaking most people understand when you sincerely apologize so I don’t know what these “perfect” narcs are hiding from.
Willing to bet that any question would be seen as a challenge.
Well said Aaron
My ex started to look at me with a smirk not a smile, and also destain
A narcissist will move heaven & earth as well as truth to make their version of reality real!
Me "You know everything and you're always right"
Them: "well actually, yes"
During another rant of verbal abuse
It feels so good and liberating to be human - one of a couple of billions! To feel grateful for everyone that you encounter in that journey called life 😊 I feel so blessed to have been given the chance to meet you dr Carter ❤ thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks so much, Izabela.
The weirdest thing was years ago they tried to meld into me. Hard to describe but they started using my speech mannerisms, hobbies and interests and I felt they were stripping me of me bit by bit. That’s when I really restricted internet presence and have been very careful irl but it was very surreal
I hear ya.
You are not crazy
Yes they "mirror" you and copy things that you bought as well. I had to tell the Narc I knew (since discarded) to "Stop living my life" many times.
Thank you for your message and love seeing your companion canine in the background - feels even more supportive 🐺
If you have it all figured out why aren't you happy?
If life is your bowl of cherries, why are their pits? (Twist on Erma Bomback)
Why do you care one way or the other about my freedom? (specific to my in-laws or out laws)
Can others be right if they come to a different conclusion or result than you?
🎯 "If you have it all figured out why aren't you happy?"
@@PantaRhei-wz5zn I'm getting there. 💕 Education into practice is everything.
Why are someone else's liberty and choices so scary?
@@Spootiful Great Question! That could be The Million Dollar Question. From my standpoint I think they had to be competitive for acceptance. But I digress.
@@Summer_Harvest Sounds like a pretty bad childhood if competitiveness had to be that important!
Thanks Dr. Carter. These videos are helping me work on my own toxicity. I almost spit banana through my nose when you made that comment about slapping someone. I won't be watching your videos during breakfast anymore.
😂😂
@@sreed5633 Sure hope that S doesn't stand for Sgt.
@@Michael-kn6ti it doesn't. What would that have to do with enjoying a chuckle about someone's comment?
@@sreed5633 It's a long story. You had to be there.
@Michael-kn6ti I can appreciate that. I'm sorry if I sounded defensive. I have a good sense of humor, but dealing with narcissistic abuse hasn't been very funny.
Dr Carter, thank you for your clear, concise online therapy blogs. It has helped me understand where I am in relation to my narcissistic brother, several yrs my senior. Removing myself from his orbit of torment and stay connected with family and friends who genuinely love me has allowed my self worth to understand on a much deeper level that I am a valuable member of society who willingly contributes to better this world one day at a time.
Thank you! I see through my dad's act and I am not impressed by him. I ignore him for my well-being!
I used to love my life, then narcissists happened.
yeah, they can suck the joy out of anything. f them.
@@ro7547 me too x
Yep
Yeah, same. Now Narc free, it’s back.
I miss me.
I have known 2 people that admitted to me they where diagnosed narcissist. They both had large portraits of themselves in the lounge room. They transformed into strange dark quiet strangers when they started loosing when I was playing scrabble with them. Is there a You tube about this. I can't find anything. Hope you can shed some light on it one day. Luv your peaceful videos. Its all about the "vibe" . .
Mr.Les....you are quite funny in this video lol
It might be a bit specific, but in case it is useful for someone else, I'll suggest this. "Why do you like to tell me that nobody can stand me, and then howl about being victimised by my avoiding being around you?".
(In my experience, these people manifest a pattern of contradiction that seems to reflect a breathtaking lack of comprehension about causes and consequences).
My sister epitomizes smugness. Swanning around in her big immaculate McMansion that she thought I was jealous of. Showing off every room without even offering me a cup of tea, or even a glass of water.
@@snowbear1877 sounds like a typical liberal.
@@stybur19 Don't know if you are in the US or Australia, but in Australia a liberal is a conservative voting person with conservative values, whereas in the US I believe it's the opposite, meaning a forward thinking person.
@@snowbear1877 on paper sure but in reality there is literally nothing progressive regarding American liberals, nor has there ever been throughout history with marxists. Are you trying to be sarcastic? Because the whole ideology towards conservatism, which has absolutely no correlation with a Republic, is far more logical and stable compared to liberalism. Liberals don't believe in a budget and certainly don't understand the means of production and prosperity. They have always been the anti working class, unions are not adequate towards economic growth, private sector will always produce more than regulated corporations but again, libs and dems just don't comprehend basic economics.
@@TRUTHWINSALLWAYS How?
I've only just been able to watch today's video. I also looked in on the chat replay, and it was heartwarming to see my team healthy family sending me such lovely positive thoughts and wishes. See you soon 🥰
🪷
As you know, Amanda....I love #TeamHealthy
@@Summer_Harvest Thank-you 🌻
@@Summer_Harvest Thank-you 🌻
@@SurvivingNarcissism So do I. Friends are family we choose for ourselves 🌻
Shallow is a good way to sum it up!
Why do you think that everyone is going to tolerate your pretentious, high conflict personality forever?
My ex boyfriend uses his excuse of having had a TWELVE YEAR relationship with his ex before me. So to him, I was just “not right” for him. 🙄 He completely got away with not even acknowledging the fact he has severe anger issues, a bad temper, and was SO disrespectful, verbally and emotionally abusive toward me! He is a TOTAL ASSHOLE.
We only lasted a mere 6 months this year, but his mask fell off after month #2. 😒
I have NO idea how his 12 year relationship with that ex girlfriend he had before me went. But he was MADLY in love with her. She dumped HIM. They moved into an apartment after just 7 months of dating and then moved into a nice house with 2 dogs and nice cars, the last 4 years before she dumped him. He was DEVASTATED.
After our relationship though? We knew each other as friends since our 20’s and we are now in our 40’s. He admitted to me that he moved on within DAYS. 😡 It didn’t take him long at ALL. So it spoiled everything. He broke my heart and treated me like garbage. So not only did we lose our whole friendship but our serious, romantic relationship ended up in flames.🔥💔😞 He hates me and wants nothing to do with me. HE should be the one crying and suffering over the breakup and instead here I am sobbing almost daily and unable to carry on normal activities that I used to enjoy. He really hurt me….
@@irinaivanovic9792 - Most are A$$ 🕳️🕳️🕳️
I just love your delivery, very succinct and straight to the point. Easy to listen to
Thank you.
It's hopeless trying to understand/ challenge their Condescending Attitude. Its simply there & there To Stay. Just leave. I am with Robyn:
"Certain little boys I just stop deal with
Tell you they're your friend and then badmouth again" (Robyn - Cobrastyle)
Definitely hopeless but I think it’s natural to try and understand other people especially if it’s an “important” relationship like mom dad sibling. My friend told me “be glad you do not understand why your mother does mean crazy things to you because if you could understand you would be mean and crazy. Took years but my friend was right and I am glad I don’t understand what goes on in my mother’s evil mind!
@@ryanlewandowsky2077 Yes, certainly understand the drive to understand your environment + the most important people in it.
You wont necess. get there with a narc though : They take out their irration on you from something that happened before (that you werent in the room when it happened, so miss out on this info completely) and/ or react on sth that you have no inkling on how this could have been so 'triggering' for them as it wasnt that big a deal at all. I think your friend is right, i believe this as well...
Well explained
SMUG that is a description of my father!
Gus 🥰
He's too cute!!! 🙀🐶🐶🐶🐕
Hi Dr Carter,
The more I study narcissism the more I think it is simply one giant poisonous defence mechanism. Is that a reasonable interpretation?
You're onto it, given that part of the definition is them living behind the False Self.
I say smut and demon time and substance makes it worst
The real them comes out💙
Sloppy cons💙
Courage in a can is what I call it.
I'm sorry to laugh but from the video start at 0:00 to 04:30 these delusional examples are hilarious 😅😂not to make light of this topic at all but I hope some will at least laugh at just how stupid the narcissist reality really is😅
I get it!!
They are pretty darn DENSE! 😂😳😂
They never want to discuss things. All issues are so stressful and they just want to see the future and not discuss the past things that cause problems..move forward and suppress the past. No accountability, or discussing why the relationship is forked. They don’t care. They don’t care about working toward a future they just say it..move forward, forget the past.
Yes that's my experience as well. It's why nothing changes ✌
That is so true. This is the reason that they never learn anything. They just want to shut you down. It's beyond frustrating. 😔
My sister, the flying monkey to her narcissist husband uses the term 'you misinterpreted' and 'I misspoke' on a habitual basis.
years ago, new neighbours moved in. she seemed so nice, so generous, funny, charming, warm.... i remember asking her if she'd be interested in sharing together our faults and flaws as i am always interested in self investigation. these weren't my exact words but it was the jist. immediately she told me nope. first red flag. long story short she and her husband systematically destroyed my heart.
"What you MEANT to say, Ocean, is 'TEAM, TALK!" That's what the narcissistic jerk said to me in a chat when I couldn't recall the name of the platform I wanted to mention.
And guess what? She did a big bungle with that because I took a while but eventually said the correct name in that one message. The narc just didn't have the patience to listen to the whole thing. She thought she would correct me instead.
I called her out in the mext message and she had to admit she had not listened to my message the whole way through. And then, not wanting to admit that was stupid or unnecessary to correct me, and goodness forbid apologize for jumping the gun, she changed the subject to something completely different.
Thanks for sharing.
Brilliant :) Thanks, Doc!
Hallelujah [Wonderful; Counsellor]
Jah Bless [Peace in Jerusalem]
Amen to that! Yes. Shalom 🙏🫂🙏
I stopped seeing one of those smug narcissists who made lame excuses for his behavior every time we spoke. He had to be right & have the last word about everything. Bye bye.
Dr carter, what types of things does it take for a narcissist to improve themselves for the better.
Here is a link to a video that addresses your question. ua-cam.com/video/CUp5iBYroBA/v-deo.html
I wonder if a person who's a leader in their professional group, say a group of scientists or politicians, will most probably be a narcissist? Leaders' qualities are usually associated wth dominance, aren't they? Or does their dominance differ from that of a usual smug person?
I would say that it is a false sense of smugness.. Not a peaceful sense..
Yep!
Smug superiority. Seems to be nearly everyone I know.
Dr. C you've come across some smug people have ya LoL I'm gonna have guess the expert ❤️ Dr C ❤️ is set in they smug people are not his favorite people.
Wonderful video My partnership of five years ended a month ago. When my true love decided to part ways with me, it truly is the only thing on my mind. I can't fathom my life with anyone else, and even though I've tried everything to get him back, it's all in vain. Despite my best efforts to put him out of my thoughts, I can't help but miss him and think about him all the time. I could not really tell you why I am saying this.
They’ve made false allegations against me, they police and monitor me and I just cannot get help to stop it. Cost me £20k so far. It’s dreadful.
sue the ass off of them.
There's nothing better than a good lawyer when you need one!!! 😊
1) Why do you preach too me that apologizing, being vulnerable, & displaying empathy is a sign of weakness, yet, you go on full display w/your vulnerability early & often?
2) When you keep insisting that who I think I met with wasn't actually you.And that clearly, I'm misconfused. How many body doubles/ stunt dummies on the payroll, who are your clones who share same mannerisms, same name, clothes, same office, same car, same wife & telling me who you met with, who wrongfully wrote
Me up, signed documents w/o my knowledge that clearly, I'm misconfused. In addition, you're as cool as the other side of the pillow being that some stranger gained access to your office, filling out paperwork, etc. while you're on a year long vacation w/pay.
God bless u Dr. C and all the work u do!!! I won't get tired of telling u how much u have helped me! And bless this amazing community too🫶🙏🕊💕🙌
Me too. Amen to that 🙏 Thank God for Dr C and Team Healthy! I'm forever grateful 🙏 🫂🙏