If He Doesn't Want a Relationship Do THIS! | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

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  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 912

  • @matboggs
    @matboggs  Рік тому +8

    Join the *Manifest Your Man* program and get *coached by Mat Boggs TODAY* : www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session

  • @audreychou5498
    @audreychou5498 5 років тому +989

    "You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Thank you, Mathew!

  • @lolawho8676
    @lolawho8676 5 років тому +1610

    Isn’t it humiliating to stay with someone who doesn’t want you? Just go...

    • @11cesarrenato
      @11cesarrenato 5 років тому +58

      sometimes is just fear of being hurt

    • @diaddison970
      @diaddison970 4 роки тому +6

      Lola Who exactly waste of time!!!

    • @annacoolmum5961
      @annacoolmum5961 4 роки тому +2

      Yes i was back with me as for 7 weeks and i walked into hes house and he was drinking with a girl all night said nothing happened and i said why u with me and he said im not with u o only ask u over for our son..And yet he rings me ask me over for dinner i was so humiliated and so hurt and i stupidly had sex with him.buut my boundaries are up and i dont know why he behaved like that as im st ill confused.

    • @cherisew
      @cherisew 4 роки тому +3

      Lola Who right, exactly. I just walked away.

    • @cherisew
      @cherisew 4 роки тому +13

      cesar I think he has fear of me hurting him...but I would never. I just wanna be loved consistently by one person who only wants me. And I was consistent sex dammit! I deserve it! Ok sorry lol

  • @sicast916
    @sicast916 5 років тому +547

    If he doesn’t want a relationship leave the dude alone, there’s someone for everyone no need to play mind games.

    • @jenclayton8844
      @jenclayton8844 5 років тому +5

      Pochely: yes pochely I agree with you!

    • @tomaradoss3420
      @tomaradoss3420 4 роки тому +2

      That part

    • @DiazSis
      @DiazSis 4 роки тому +2

      Pochely: I’m saying!!!

    • @KJR-vh3rh
      @KJR-vh3rh 3 роки тому +8

      This isnt mind games, this is pure honesty this isnt a guide on how to force a man to be with you, its to judge whether this person or not wants what you want or whether its a waste of time

    • @brivious
      @brivious 3 роки тому +8

      Hes the one playing mind games he said he just wanted to be friends and then he said he also likes me alot so I respected him I just flirted a little I've stopped caring for alot of things lately and now he's just flirting with me and hinting and its annoying

  • @desbrow3339
    @desbrow3339 5 років тому +696

    I really like your comment Matt: "Know this, you can't scare off the right guy."

  • @bmrjma2144
    @bmrjma2144 4 роки тому +243

    If he doesn’t want a relationship, or if he’s leaving you hanging, ditch him. I just did this literally an hour ago with someone who was giving extreme mixed signals. Sucks. But I couldn’t deal with and wondering anymore.

  • @PortoBelo511
    @PortoBelo511 5 років тому +465

    I love when someone teach or says something important in simple words straight to the point. You are that man.

  • @GoodKarma1020
    @GoodKarma1020 8 місяців тому +6

    I was dating a guy, I met his family, he met my daughter and we we’re brilliant together. The foundation of friendship and love was being formed and “boom” he ended it. I didn’t beg him back, I said “I respect your thoughts, I’m looking for a man who wants a relationship thus building a future with me & my daughter.” - then I went no contact, two days later he reached out proposing “friendship” I said no, I stated again, I want a relationship and a future with someone. This time I took him off my social media (no blocking) just removing him as a “friend,” and removed his relatives of my social media as well. I’ve been devastated, but I don’t want to be somewhere where I’m not wanted. I feel better removing him off social media, as I know he was spying on me. What’s the point of being with someone if we don’t want the same things 😞

  • @boplop5406
    @boplop5406 4 роки тому +66

    If he tells you that he doesn't want a relationship and you continue speaking with him he may believe that you were warned and you still want to continue with him with the situation that there is

  • @Milliejones0003
    @Milliejones0003 5 років тому +526

    Is He doesn't want a relationship, move on to someone that does! Simple

    • @i.s4005
      @i.s4005 5 років тому +59

      Millie Glez0003 not simple at all, cannot imagine kissing somebody else

    • @pinat6166
      @pinat6166 4 роки тому +33

      It seems very simply but so hard to do

    • @faiscamutiara
      @faiscamutiara 4 роки тому +23

      Well reality check it isn't as simple as that

    • @preciouspayne723
      @preciouspayne723 4 роки тому +4

      Right that's why I don't want a relationship some boys are nasty by showing their dicks and touching theirselves gross

    • @savvychathylton8059
      @savvychathylton8059 4 роки тому +9

      I learnt that the hard way stuck around for 2yrs, him telling me his sorting out his life. I couldn't do it anymore it's been 3months since I walked away I feel good😁

  • @meli3128
    @meli3128 4 роки тому +242

    Just went through this. We were only dating about 7/8 weeks but He was being hot and cold and I started to feel confused and his effort fell off, so I said “ I enjoy spending time with you but before this goes any further I want to make sure we’re on the same page. At this moment what is it that your looking for?” He said he don’t know. ( scared etc) I told him “ It’s ok, take your time, when you decide what you want let me know and if I’m not seeing someone by then maybe we can try again” ... Mic drop 🎤 I am a little disappointed because he’s a great guy and I do like him. But I know it’s not fair to stick around. Will he come back? Who knows, but willing to walk away is better than devaluing yourself.

  • @joyfullove1430
    @joyfullove1430 5 років тому +297

    I did exactly what you said BEFORE this video - I was pretty proud of myself! It didn’t hurt and the sky didn’t fall and he didn’t choose me. But all that is ok because I am so worthy of the best possible relationship! Good to know I’m making some better choices all on my own - but I do so love your tips!!! Thank you!

    • @irisclemons5627
      @irisclemons5627 5 років тому +11

      Joyful Love I am building my strength to tell him my boat is leaving Wish me luck because I can’t keep going like I am

    • @joyfullove1430
      @joyfullove1430 5 років тому +6

      Iris Clemons sending strength, bravery and courage... it’s not an easy thing but you can do this and you will heal and look back grateful!

    • @blueroselily0415
      @blueroselily0415 4 роки тому +2

      I’m going though something like this rn my bf for a year dumped me last night he wants to stay friends for rn after I used this on him so idk if it worked or not 100% he knows I support him and will always be hear for him

    • @03081416
      @03081416 2 роки тому

      @@irisclemons5627 how did it work out?

    • @irisclemons5627
      @irisclemons5627 2 роки тому +1

      @@03081416 I finally said to him that I wanted the best for him and I will be just his friend but that I needed to move on . I looked at him differently someone that had a fear of Vulnerability limited in having a relationship . I said to myself God I can’t fix this you deal with it I’m not going to anymore and it’s quite strange when I finally let go of it and forgave I was able to move on myself

  • @lenoretalon9958
    @lenoretalon9958 5 років тому +488

    Put the man back in the friendship list and start dating other men. I wouldn’t explain anything to him I would just start dating men with the same as I want. Don’t shed a tear. I don’t have time for men like this. Move on.

    • @mecca115able
      @mecca115able 5 років тому +9

      Lenore your so right I'm not saying nothing guys knows.. girl I'm seeing two guys. My options are open. I'm having fun. But I see what I see not what I want to see. Action speak louder than words

    • @hannahscott6604
      @hannahscott6604 4 роки тому +10

      Yeah I have reserved this dude to be friends with me and he knows that. He knows I’m dating other guys. or trying to. But last night I took a pic of myself and he said “my arms should be wrapped around you”
      I was like “if you’re dating me they could be” 😂😆

    • @tomaradoss3420
      @tomaradoss3420 4 роки тому +4

      Lenore talon exactly ! Because he just may be a great friend

    • @angelsandocean2853
      @angelsandocean2853 4 роки тому +2

      @@mecca115able I am dating two guys as well. And I am 53. I was thinking to talk to one of them, the one I am dating for four years, but decided that this is none of his business. I did put him into friend zone though and he got upset but no major decision of his part yet. Now I want to keep them both 😂 because the new guy is wonderful but on a different level. Time will tell who is the right one.. I decided to play waiting game for now and not to force anyone..

    • @nevmcc3884
      @nevmcc3884 4 роки тому

      Keep playing the "co@#k carousel" until no guy wants you. Great advice

  • @fifiabdullah8276
    @fifiabdullah8276 5 років тому +280

    2 months ago.. I declared ny love to him.. He said not ready for a relationship.. I disappeared without even explaining myself. I think he got the message.. I know i will find the right one soon ❤️

    • @arnzgel
      @arnzgel 2 роки тому +1

      Any updates ? Did he come back ?

    • @fifiabdullah8276
      @fifiabdullah8276 2 роки тому +26

      @@arnzgel nope.. I don't even remember who he was😅🤣🤣🤣

    • @martija2599
      @martija2599 2 роки тому +1

      @@fifiabdullah8276 hahahahahahahah

    • @aalyyy.
      @aalyyy. 2 роки тому +1

      wow. im sorry baby ur gonna find someone great. hope ur doing well 💖

    • @shadyritaB
      @shadyritaB 2 роки тому +6

      I did the same, they will continue to waste your time if you let them. Have to make the best decision for yourself.

  • @lavayuki
    @lavayuki 5 років тому +196

    The best thing to do is believe them and move on. You can never change their mind in a million years

    • @NewYorkNadia
      @NewYorkNadia 5 років тому +14

      'Mind'? What 'mind'? LOL... ;)

    • @lulukhaled9215
      @lulukhaled9215 4 роки тому +1

      Nadia Asencio 😂

    • @NewYorkNadia
      @NewYorkNadia 8 місяців тому

      @@HolyRollerTV It was a joke luv, relax

  • @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788
    @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 5 років тому +451

    I don't want anyone to choose me because of their fear of me being with someone else. I want someone to choose me because they are sure about their love for me. Otherwise, the relationship could be an unhealthy jealousy/possession/codependency game.

    • @lauralou1115
      @lauralou1115 4 роки тому +12

      Amazing point!!!!

    • @krittazapata5076
      @krittazapata5076 4 роки тому +9

      You’re literally a genius. This is what we all feel deep inside but can’t explain it but you just did! Wow

    • @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788
      @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 4 роки тому

      @@krittazapata5076 🥰

    • @hayleestone957
      @hayleestone957 4 роки тому +1

      Time is what heals. Idc what anybody says

    • @giselserrano9595
      @giselserrano9595 4 роки тому +32

      You are thinking like a woman, he is not a woman. Men see and think different, may not make sense to you, but does to him. Women of today get way too frustrated because they dont got the fact men think completely in a different direction than them, and they are expecting he treated you like your girl friends and guy friends do

  • @jwanviars
    @jwanviars 5 років тому +164

    Playing games is not the answer. Find someone that wants what you want. Just breakup, do not try to change anyone.

    • @monicapalma
      @monicapalma 4 роки тому

      zumzy u is this real? And works? I live in the Uk by the way

  • @arleenvilla6446
    @arleenvilla6446 5 років тому +61

    Amazing advice Matt! I told the guy I’m dating this, I didn’t use these amazing words though, but along the same lines and I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. I was freaking out but now thanks to your advice, I realize what I did was right. I feel so empowered and a relationship should flow and come easy. Wow! Thank you! Blessings to you and your wife.

  • @mindsetwithsally4556
    @mindsetwithsally4556 4 роки тому +51

    "You can't scare off the right guy. If you say to him "my boat is leaving", and he's not willing to fight for that relationship, then he's not the right guy to begin with." Love love love this

  • @kimasp7482
    @kimasp7482 4 роки тому +16

    "You can't scare off the right guy"...needed to hear these words..thank you Matthew!

  • @ozpilotgirl
    @ozpilotgirl 5 років тому +72

    This is almost identical advice to what Matthew Hussey says you should say..."Seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while...and I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy...So I feel like you need to go and be alone, in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I'm here, or I'm still here, when you're ready....but until then, I need I know someone who is completely "in" because I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't 100% about wanting to be with me.
    "

  • @healthroads
    @healthroads 5 років тому +93

    After my divorce, I took time to heal and realized I "attract what I reflect". I found my joy and happiness are found within me, not in someone else. A man does not define me or complete me. Boundaries and self love are taught in this video and it resonates with me. I am a hopeful romantic and look forward to meeting that amazing man whose core values are similar to mine. Bought the "Cracking the Man Code" and it has been an AMAZING journey of higher self awareness and insightful relationship wisdom!
    Bless you and yours Mat!

    • @Mia-rb5lj
      @Mia-rb5lj 4 роки тому

      healthroads Nicely said. TRUTH Thank You...Many Blessings on your journey...self Love.

  • @jacquelynjaide9047
    @jacquelynjaide9047 5 років тому +204

    I’m so happy this video showed up. I was recently seeing a guy and I asked him about where we were going. He was honest that he can’t be in a relationship right now due to him constantly working and leaving for the navy soon. At first I was devastated because we had a great connection but I respected his choice and moved forward. We hooked up one last time and I asked it’s ok to see other people and he said fine. I’m happy I finally ended it with him to give myself a real chance to find the love of my life❤️

    • @jacquelynjaide9047
      @jacquelynjaide9047 5 років тому +9

      Solid Mercer ummmm I never said I was. We had a mutual agreement and I wanted make sure we were on the same page in the end. No one is making no one jealous soo I don’t know where you’re getting that from😁

    • @l.ferrer7923
      @l.ferrer7923 5 років тому +5

      Wait after boot camp and he gets to his billet or new duty station IF he contacts you again.That gives him enough time to think about you seriously and gives him an idea about his financial situation being more stable by that time. 😆 True ❤️ love knows no bounds. ~My hubby is a Navy veteran. 😊

    • @BigRigPullUp
      @BigRigPullUp 4 роки тому +1

      @@nathanbeales8900 if so it was nothing wrong with that! It's called testing the water lol. Seeing if he was confused or mean what he said lol! Which led her to choosing the best decision of moving on because she was for sure she wanted his love but he couldn't give it back to her

    • @Dan-Martin
      @Dan-Martin 3 роки тому

      Lol no offence but you did him a favour. Young man has his whole life ahead of him, even joined the Navy. He doesn’t need some desperate needy woman to hold him back. You’ll regret your decision lmao.

    • @jacquelynjaide9047
      @jacquelynjaide9047 3 роки тому +9

      @@Dan-Martin lmao 🤣 🤣🤣🤣
      you responded over a fling that happened over 2 years ago & I moved on to a happier relationship where they navy guy stalked for a year. I’m great! I’m the one whose laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 & it’s *offense haha

  • @Tina-by5xx
    @Tina-by5xx 3 роки тому +24

    my boyfriend started seeing me as a friend, and i did exactly this. Its about a week ago we parted ways, and i honestly do not care if we will ever get back together again or if we dont. I know my worth and I know I will find someone just as amazing as him:)) know your worth!!

    • @roshenamorgan1827
      @roshenamorgan1827 3 роки тому +2

      Or even someone better than him. Btw are you guys back together?

    • @arnzgel
      @arnzgel 2 роки тому

      Any updates ?

  • @BrazilianGirl777
    @BrazilianGirl777 5 років тому +25

    I love how assertive your advice is, with confidence yet still not aggressive. It makes the conversation firm but classy! ❤️❤️🙏

  • @tanyat3254
    @tanyat3254 5 років тому +218

    Live by
    If u love something let it go.
    If it loves you it will come back.
    If it doesnt it was never yours.
    U go into a relatipnship, friendship, or business with thos attitude. U r neither needy or pushy.
    Those vibes r felt and fpr some reason u only attract love.
    Its worked all my life.
    Hard to let go
    But this filtering is a machine.

    • @MsLovication
      @MsLovication 5 років тому +4

      And if the two people think like this, it will never happen. Because both will let go. I think it's best to be assertive and express yourself. But let go when feelings are not mutual.

    • @shabnamtaleghani6831
      @shabnamtaleghani6831 4 роки тому

      @@MsLovication I agree with you. my boyfriend and I were in our relationship for 1year and 8 month. he told me at first he can not get married because poor girl who bear his behavior . recently I told him If his decision about getting married has not changed yet I think our relationship is over because I would like to get married and if he stays in my life I can not consider other boys. and he told me He can not get married totally.

  • @carmencarmenatti
    @carmencarmenatti 5 років тому +52

    That's exactly what i did! We have known each other forever.We we're friends/lovers years ago and after all this time of drifting apart he came back all by himself.Finally we are moving in together and are engaged to be married next year.

  • @SCIFIVAMPIRE
    @SCIFIVAMPIRE 4 роки тому +70

    This is basically an ultimatum phrased nicely. Unfortunately I've seen a third scenario the most. The guy agrees to move forward but deep down he's resentful and the woman never feels secure with him because she knows she forced him to choose and it creates a bad unhappy energy, and the woman is usually chasing him because he's not committed 100%.

    • @Optimystik
      @Optimystik 2 роки тому +2

      That is a good point..about it essentially being an ultimatum. I know that a lot of men (and people in general) will immediately be put off by that and it won't work in your favor.. but there has to be a way around that.

    • @carlel121
      @carlel121 5 місяців тому

      Hahahaha you never can force a man to do anything! Again a women thinking does not translate to a men thinking, I pressured my husband to married me otherwise I left and go to look for what I want, he committed and married me, he said it was the best decision he ever made! Nobody resents anything, if the man finally decided to married you deep down he really loves you and don’t want to loose you, but his insecurities to move forward paralízale him.

  • @TheSarvenazable
    @TheSarvenazable 5 років тому +25

    Nothing, if he doesn’t want a relationship then I move forward! I let him know what i want and if he doesn’t catch up I’m gone! Very straight forward!

  • @cindychampion7836
    @cindychampion7836 5 років тому +55

    This happened to me. I was with someone who didn’t want a relationship and I thought the “more time” thing would work. After 2 and a half years I finally told him he’s with me or he’s not and I was ready to get up and leave for good. He decided he was with me. We have been together ever since.

    • @tjaspire
      @tjaspire 3 роки тому +4

      Girl that sounds like a deadend relationship. He didn't really change anything, he just did enough to placate you.

    • @cindychampion7836
      @cindychampion7836 3 роки тому +9

      Yes and we have been together 13 years. He totally turned things around after I was ready to leave however I don’t think that’s the norm.

    • @mandylohof7512
      @mandylohof7512 6 місяців тому

      Mine after 4 years just left me today and it came as such a shock as he told me he loved me the night before

  • @talairaki
    @talairaki 5 років тому +169

    Or in other words... dont give in to HIS wants and HIS desires by giving up on urs!!!

    • @talairaki
      @talairaki 5 років тому +19

      And I'll tell u y not...
      Becuz the second u do that... they (the guys) lose the feeling or the need for a challenge leaving u feeling used up and drained out and they lose the urge to fight for ur approval...
      U, ladies, are princesses and queens... U have the power to rule them all... in ways u can't even begin to fathom...
      U r more powerful than u know!

  • @diaddison970
    @diaddison970 4 роки тому +36

    U can’t force man to love you! If he doesn’t want you just leave “ don’t waste time!!

  • @babylicioustrisha
    @babylicioustrisha 5 років тому +12

    You Are One of the Most Amazing Love Coach in the Internet Matthew... I've heard a lot here in UA-cam and read a lot of Books too but YOU are Unselfishly, AUTHENTIC, and Realistic with your approach THANK YOU IN A MILLION WAYS... So If I find my Guy soon I will come back and recommend YOU to EVERYONE!

  • @Nemchawotlk
    @Nemchawotlk 2 роки тому +8

    I'm a guy and wanted to see whats your advices for girls,women etc. This is what people need to do, either being a guy or a girl, respect their path but you NEED to follow your own, dont let people to controll your life, awesome video, Mat!

  • @healedinambiance8905
    @healedinambiance8905 2 роки тому +11

    Clear and cut. You said it. I enjoyed this video. I just had the same situation happen to me and I needed to be sure that I did and said the right thing. I respect myself and love myself enough to let him go. It's for the best. I'm not going to allow for a man to make me look desperate, needy, or clingy.

  • @clarissetan
    @clarissetan 5 років тому +35

    This is exactly what happen to me now. We have been dating for almost 8 months, but we have not progressed to a committed relationship. Seems like i will need to have this conversation very soon... Thanks! This comes to me just the right time!!! Wish me the best!

    • @80sprincess52
      @80sprincess52 2 роки тому +4

      Ooh girl, I know this comment is 2 years old but you have the patience of a Saint, my last experience I have the guy 3 months of my time and I realised I had had enough of the limbo so started dating other people and told him I wanted to give him his space to find what he wanted without me in the way because I wasn't going to continue the way we were going without any commitment and it's been 3 days since he won't speak or text me. Any updates on what happened with you?

    • @sukiarts
      @sukiarts Рік тому

      ​@@80sprincess52any updates?

  • @Anonymous11Jj
    @Anonymous11Jj 2 роки тому +22

    This video was the best relationship advice I have ever heard. I watched alot but this takes the price. You answered all my questions in 8 minutes. Love it.

  • @agnetamosica6392
    @agnetamosica6392 5 років тому +8

    I had an experience with a guy I met in Greece. We had our first date and he told me that he is not made for relationships, that he cannot decide on which woman to stay with. I understood his belief and I told him about mine:"What I want is to get married and to have my home and family around, to take care of my husband and our house, to have lovely kids and a beautiful family life. This is what I want and what would make me really happy and I am going to have this." The same day, he asked me out again in the evening and he asked me to marry him. It was without a ring, but he was really serious. I refused him as we met just few days before and I was going out with him to meet new people because I was in vacation in Greece, I did not see him as a potential husband. This experince was interesting and I will never forget it. A high value woman has much power. 😊

  • @ChauNguyen-qv2yb
    @ChauNguyen-qv2yb 4 роки тому +12

    If he doesn't wanna have a relationship the best thing u can do is to leave him. He doesn't want a committed deep relationship move on and find someone does

  • @sophiastuart4357
    @sophiastuart4357 4 роки тому +13

    Hi Matt, this is exactly the message I need. I had that conversation & separated myself from my ex but he keeps initiating contact & holding on. I will not get back with him until he can confirm he wants a relationship with me. I have to show I’m serious or he will work his way back in. I hope he steps up to the plate, if not I’m off in the boat to my destiny and he knows it.

  • @ItsChristineTV
    @ItsChristineTV 3 місяці тому +1

    Here’s the thing. You don’t want a man who will say yes to what you want, but do it begrudgingly. I finally learned my lesson after being in the wrong relationship for far too long. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then a begrudging yes is the same as a no.

  • @hollykins9844
    @hollykins9844 5 років тому +26

    Wow. This was something I needed to hear. I just need to work up the courage and tell him and be willing to lose him. Ugh.

  • @AmyElizabethBehnke
    @AmyElizabethBehnke 3 роки тому +5

    What works for me is doing my own thing. And seeing people after the spirit ❤
    One heart at a time👍

  • @Anna-vp1zd
    @Anna-vp1zd 5 років тому +4

    I’m a Military widow now for 4 years, was married for 29 years when he passed away. When We married I was 18, now I’m 51. I feel I want to start dating again. Just here to re- learn and gain some tips. I’m very assure of my self worth. Just needing some tips. Thank you for these videos.

  • @jtgunnergurl85
    @jtgunnergurl85 5 років тому +34

    Great tips! I’m okay ... I’m awesome. I won’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. Why would anyone want that? Anxiety definitely is the male motivator 😂🤣!! Be respectful, wish him well, be a friend, most of all respect yourself.

  • @kibuladesire8019
    @kibuladesire8019 5 років тому +9

    *Who else needed this video? ?? Thanks for your knowledge. Simple and best advice* 😊

  • @analisaruiz8120
    @analisaruiz8120 5 років тому +17

    Yess!!! You can't scare the off the RIGHT guy ❤️❤️❤️

  • @iluvcb93
    @iluvcb93 5 років тому +22

    Wow, thank you Matt. This video really spoke to me and helped me know that I made the right decision in standing up for myself and knowing my self worth. This video came at the perfect time.

  • @vee6505
    @vee6505 5 років тому +11

    I was seeing this guy for a month or two and I really like him, we have great chemistry but he is away all the time. I message him and told him that " I really like him and I wanna get to know him better and that I wanna know if he feels the same or there is a hope of us moving forward? If not then I wanna know as I don't want to expect anything". He then respond saying he had a great time with me, that he will be busy for the next few months and he can't give me what I want right now. So I responded " thank you for being so honest, I had great time being with you . I wish you well. He has a follow message but I did not respond as I am hurt.
    Did I do the right thing? I am moving on but there is still a little hope that he will come back in the future.

    • @11cesarrenato
      @11cesarrenato 5 років тому +1

      i think he is going back one day but right now you have to move on...

  • @suecole5543
    @suecole5543 2 роки тому +7

    This is a difficult thing to do if you truly love someone but its' the best thing to do for our own peace of mind , because if the person lets' you go it will hurt but at least you will know the relationship is not going to get closer and committed. The pain will heal in time and leave you free to find the forever love you are seeking with the right person. It also will save you months of wasting time with someone who is not truly in love with you and you can heal , move on and find that special someone. A thought to keep with you is ....You can never say the wrong thing to the right person...

  • @marleneparker8702
    @marleneparker8702 4 роки тому +7

    The timing of this video is perfect.

  • @SaystheTruth3
    @SaystheTruth3 2 роки тому +5

    If you don't choose me some other guy will... You hit the nail on the head I'm going through this right now... I will get my answer tomorrow ❤️ thank you so much Matt!

  • @tamerakennedy6893
    @tamerakennedy6893 4 роки тому +11

    Walked away and he moved on. Now I’m even more miserable and lonely through the holidays it’s been 6 months. I am going through the worst pain 🥺

  • @KevZen2000
    @KevZen2000 4 роки тому +13

    Women tend to mistake "chemistry." Men are different. We can hangout, and have fun. It may appear like it's "chemistry," although it's unnecessarily sexual or romantic attraction.

  • @LetishaMalakootiTV
    @LetishaMalakootiTV 2 роки тому +1

    Having courage… You definitely use the right word Matt

  • @melanie...11
    @melanie...11 5 років тому +40

    I always do that... well... I’m still single but not gonna settle for less than what I deserve.

    • @lavayuki
      @lavayuki 5 років тому +5

      Same, time waster guys who can't make up their mind are a waste

  • @supmelva
    @supmelva 5 років тому +1

    After 2 years living together I'm calling things off. He says hes not ready and knows I want more. I've signed a lease elsewhere and started packing my things. I tell him I love him and I'm gonna miss him. He says the same. We'll see what happens. At this point, I'm moving on. I wont go backwards when the pain of rejection has propelled me forward. Thank you for your advice.

  • @jessicaaja4269
    @jessicaaja4269 3 роки тому +4

    My friend did pretty much what Matt says. Dated a guy for 3 months, moved in, lived with him for 3 months, then said that in 6 months time she sees herself in a wedding dress, and that will either be with him or with somebody else. A bit too much to push for marriage, but they are married now

  • @eleseclarke6038
    @eleseclarke6038 5 років тому +6

    This video has helped me so much thank you i got into a fwb with a male friend of 12years i didn't realize i liked him in an romantic way and i realised that i have fallen for him he has said he doesn't want a relationship and he still loves his ex but still wants to be in this fwb but was giving me mixed signals i have just text him that phrase and his response was just ok this has give me the push i needed because now i can make room for the right person to come along

  • @xzochilltovar2038
    @xzochilltovar2038 5 років тому +8

    Thank you for making this video. I've been fighting myself over my morals or getting the guy I want to know how great of a person I am and he'll miss out.

  • @alaura3739
    @alaura3739 5 років тому +4

    Love, "you can't scare off the right guy". 😄 Not only is it so ridiculously obvious, but just the cold, hard, bare bones truth lol. The way you deliver your instruction is so chill that it causes me to be perfectly cool with the idea! Lol. Subscribed :) thank you!!

  • @arckocsog253
    @arckocsog253 5 років тому +50

    He doesn't know he wants a relationship after MONTHS? So what have you been doing for these months if not dating?

    • @GhostOfTiffany
      @GhostOfTiffany 5 років тому +2

      Arc Kocsog lmao right

    • @MoonSunflower111
      @MoonSunflower111 5 років тому +4

      Probably just sex then him sending her on her way

    • @Mia-rb5lj
      @Mia-rb5lj 4 роки тому

      sounds unsure of himself. personally I would say okay to him, and then say okay I quess we can see other people then, and then walk away...

    • @tjaspire
      @tjaspire 3 роки тому +3

      @@MoonSunflower111 Exactly why I'm waiting until marriage. You would be amazed how quickly it weeds out the wrong guys. 99.99% of guys who approach you only want sex from you.

  • @divyamurugesan5557
    @divyamurugesan5557 5 років тому +57

    I should have subscribed this channel sooner. But I am glad at least I did now. ☺️☺️

    • @marieanne1989
      @marieanne1989 5 років тому

      Divya Murugesan never too late ,it will be useful for the next scum bag that shows at the door 😂😂

    • @divyamurugesan5557
      @divyamurugesan5557 5 років тому

      @@marieanne1989 Definitely! It will be useful for loving and retaining the person we love always. ☺️☺️

  • @juliagulia8626
    @juliagulia8626 4 роки тому +10

    @Mathew Boggs: Although this may be true for some men, most men who want a female will go get that female. If a man is shopping, going on hikes, or whatever, he's not that into you. Or he has issues he needs to work on. Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's content being a perpetual bachelor. "Fear of loss" is usually temporary. If it worked for you with your wife, that's great, but I think you are the exception.

  • @cheesetee3420
    @cheesetee3420 5 років тому +7

    Wow I recently experience this hahahahaha chills!
    I kinda do the same thing that you mention.
    I told him, the way he treated me was not the kind of relationship that I want. But the different is, I clearly told him I don't want ro be with him anymore. I told him what made me hurt so much (after he persuade me 3 times to talk things out. I am stubborn that way)
    And now we end things. And I know that I will and still hope that I will have the relationship that I want. But also the way that my guy wants. So we can make each other happy. It might be soon, it might not. But hey, at least I learnt something new

  • @jennypinkies111pinkies7
    @jennypinkies111pinkies7 5 років тому +8

    You're the best!!!🙌🙌🙌👌👌👌 just got new words impacted in me. I know what to do next now thank you!

  • @gyongyverdr.tamas-kovacs7164
    @gyongyverdr.tamas-kovacs7164 5 років тому +4

    I made the boldest move of my life some two months ago. He was stressed about the continuation of the relationship, frustrated about all his failures and went on saying he was not sure if he could propose to you. I got so fed up with this bullshit he kept on telling me every time things got a little deep, I told him, OK, you know what, that's so fine that You can't propose to me, cos let's be honest, right now You are not in entitled to pop that question to me, You're not in a place in our relationship and in your commitment especially showing it - that I would seriously consider such an offer. Well, we observed a 5 week-long break and he realised he doesn't ever want to be apart like that, so he's fighting hard to win me back. I'm so thankful to God that He gave me the courage to do this.

  • @amandadebrah594
    @amandadebrah594 5 років тому +12

    I love the metaphor of the boat leaving! I once dated a guy for 4 months and when I had the conversation with him he left - I moved on and had another serious relationship and he got in contact to say how uncomfortable it made him picturing me moving forward with someone else -interesting 😅😂

  • @nabihayousuf
    @nabihayousuf 5 років тому +16

    This is amazing!!!!!🌺 I just tried this last week but my mother made me feel guilty that I didn't give enough time. I thought one month of being the boat waiting in the harbor ⚓ was enough 😂

    • @Kellyyy44
      @Kellyyy44 3 роки тому

      Hell ya you did right sis ♥️♥️

  • @genna2586
    @genna2586 5 років тому +15

    Own the fact your love and dream for a wonderful commitment with someone special is not an option. Be able to move on as painful as that action is. Thank you Mat for your words of wisdom. Don’t leave your boat on the harbor waiting for him on his timeline. Continue on your journey.

  • @ValentineWan
    @ValentineWan 3 роки тому +4

    Too late. I just had this conversation 2 days ago with this guy who had been going on date with me. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious and I told him I want a relationship. It sucks to break it off but I decided that enough is enough. I asked him to leave because we are just not in the same direction. I never actually thought that he wouldn't wanna be with me because we were just like a couple, we talked everyday, he came to my place everytime he had off days, we joked, we had a great time together. But if being exclusive with me scares him off more than losing me, then I choose to just leave him. Im glad that I had the courage to start the conversation and glad that he was at least being honest to me instead of wasting my time.

  • @mickeyt3654
    @mickeyt3654 5 років тому +5

    Hey you're like a god sent. Every time I watch your videos it's like I have all these experiences in my relationships and u just put it in words so I can understand clearly what's going on. Thank you so much..

  • @Fayvic3
    @Fayvic3 5 років тому +6

    I appreciate your guidance because I had no idea what to say or how to expeess my feelings. I have been in a "relationship" over 5 years and I need to move on. I have wasted tooo much time and I am guilty for allowing it to happen. Thank you Matt; I will be using the tool you presented in this video.

  • @thekets7887
    @thekets7887 4 роки тому +12

    This I will try but I know deep down he doesn't want a relationship with me.

  • @Fantonia
    @Fantonia 4 роки тому +1

    Best video ever!!
    I actually manifested my ex back for a period of time and then I let him go. Because of my lack of inner work, the problem was the same - he doesn't have the time for a relationship right now... so it was hurtful to spend so little time together and wasn't what I wanted. So I sent him unconditional love and I focused on the best version of him. I am not attached to the outcome. I told him exactly this..I let him go and if the love is there...maybe we'll meet again, but since I know where I am heading, I am open to this new, wonderful guy in my life.

  • @pinkk312
    @pinkk312 5 років тому +13

    One of the best videos I’ve seen in a while. Very coherent, easy to understand, and very relatable. 👍🏽

  • @jessiedelores4992
    @jessiedelores4992 5 років тому +1

    i tried this formula a little while back, and YES IT DID WORK
    watching this video just sort of gave some confirmation that is does in fact work.
    Matt Boggs you are my favorite relationship coach, awesome videos and information.

  • @sabric.9104
    @sabric.9104 5 років тому +2

    Tested this with my man, gave him a warning and things changed for the better from there. I still feel I don't have his full commitment, but perhaps he needs a reminder.

  • @chrisg5312
    @chrisg5312 5 років тому

    This is very helpful. My guy opened and they reason he is not calling/texting because he said he going to have surgery. He said not today but someday. Of course, it is still up to me to meet other men/date. At least it helped to open up because I thought my current guy is just stringing me along and it's a NO NO for me. Thank you for taking back my power.

  • @lovelyxskinny
    @lovelyxskinny 5 років тому +4

    This video couldn't have come at the more perfect time. Thank you for this

  • @lesliematos6922
    @lesliematos6922 5 років тому +25

    That really works. I took it a step further after 4 years of dating and the relationship moving really really slow I ended the relationship by saying I respect you and love you but I need to move on with someone who really wants the same things I want. I am to old to be waiting around for no one. Long story short. It has been 6 months since that conversation and now we are engaged and getting ready to move in together.

  • @danayap
    @danayap 5 років тому +3

    This video released 2 months ago and i watched these before a month ago i decided to clear my relationship status to a guy, in the end of the video right after Matt released this, i cried and felt emotional if i follow this advise but this video give so much courage to me to face the reality of moving forward and this is a blessing in disguise or i might rather say a sign to be free from the questions back in my head on our casual relationship. Thank you Matt for creating a videos that is straight forward into reality of relationship and i might say that this makes you unique from others, the authenticity of videos into the serious and depth relationship gives us viewers a great opportunities to understand how does a relationship should be while valuing our own self as woman.

  • @wanderwoman3882
    @wanderwoman3882 4 роки тому +1

    I just did this with a man I love...it's been a couple days....cut contact, saying I won't accept breadcrumbs anymore, I want to be all in. Wish me luck and love!

  • @JetPearl100
    @JetPearl100 5 років тому +6

    You're really good at this relationship advise thing, Mat! Thank you! 😃

  • @julieradcliffe2941
    @julieradcliffe2941 2 роки тому +1

    I tried this because I fell inlove with a man I had been dating 6 months.
    He said I am just not wanting a relationship...he said maybe when I retire in 6 months??
    I was upset..
    I didn't say it quite right though so he probably won't get intouch....
    I said I realise you do not want a relationship with me and I fully understand. I want you to be happy and I hope you find what you are looking for.
    I want to be in a relationship with someone whose is fully committed to.
    If not that would not be meeting my needs.
    I will have to continue dating other men because I am searching for a loving relationship.
    As everyone deserves to be happy.
    I wish you love and luck.
    That was 2 weeks ago...
    He has not been fighting to get me back yet ...😒 will get on with my life.
    💟

  • @lesleygonzalez6663
    @lesleygonzalez6663 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you I really needed to hear this. I’ve been in a 12 year friendship and it’s time to pick up the anchor and go.

  • @r03249
    @r03249 2 роки тому +1

    "You can't scare off the right guy." ❤️

  • @racheln.davies1838
    @racheln.davies1838 5 років тому +9

    So profound. Blessings, Mat.

  • @marlyanavillanueva3187
    @marlyanavillanueva3187 4 роки тому +1

    There's always someone better than the last!!

  • @jcapellan20
    @jcapellan20 5 років тому +5

    Wow! You answered a question I've been wanting to know how to express that for a while. Thank you!

  • @juliejean-mary83
    @juliejean-mary83 2 роки тому

    Why am I just now finding this? This is great advice.

  • @yourskincaresimplified2779
    @yourskincaresimplified2779 3 роки тому +5

    I said I deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me and that’s not you, that’s ok.

  • @pettymlala6446
    @pettymlala6446 2 роки тому

    I have wasted 6 good years in a relationship waiting patiently for him but after listening to this l have made up my mind. Thank you so much for opening my eyes.

  • @elisabethmichetti5210
    @elisabethmichetti5210 5 років тому +12

    I had a similar situation happen. After dating a guy for almost eight months I had become frustrated that the relationship had become stalled. When I posed this questions in almost the exact same formula we discovered we were on different paths. I wanted a commitment and he was not going to give that. We parted ways amicably. It was beyond scary for me to stand up for myself and say this is what I want. In the end he was not ready to commit so we parted. I am currently looking for that guy who is willing to commit.

    • @valeriab.3669
      @valeriab.3669 5 років тому +2

      I remember Matthew Hussey once saying in his video that asking uncomfortable questions on a first date is going to spare you months wasted on someone who was not right to begin with, and I think this is so true. We often don’t set out standards right from the start because we’re afraid that it will push the person we like away. But the right one won’t run and its far easier to walk away from someone you just met and like rather than walking away from someone you’ve been with for months cause you are already far more emotionally invested at that point.

    • @mezlandia
      @mezlandia Рік тому

      I hope you’ve found him 💕

  • @RAG571
    @RAG571 5 років тому +2

    I appreciate the visuals and the main ideas presented on your videos!!

  • @carolb3869
    @carolb3869 5 років тому +6

    I let him know I was wanting people in my life who were committed consistently (we had been apart for 6 months). I did not want him connecting randomly. I also didn’t want him thinking he could. So I said: if he was interested in keeping things on a friendship-only basis, let’s both part gracefully.
    Kept it simple, but meant it.
    I’m glad I set this boundary & clarity - it was extremely freeing.

  • @qscott888
    @qscott888 3 роки тому

    This is the BEST video I have ever seen that explains this in a way that makes perfect sense.

  • @tehilovely
    @tehilovely 4 роки тому +1

    If he doesnt want ....please go!!!!!!!!!

  • @claudeleto5444
    @claudeleto5444 5 років тому +3

    Wow! Loved this, pretty insightful. Thanks Mat.

  • @gildatyler8458
    @gildatyler8458 5 років тому +1

    DO not know if it works the same for everyone but I do know that this works for both men and women.... Great advice.