Oh man… as a Chinese I am now thankful that “postpartum centre” is a thing for us. You stay there for 20-30 days after you give birth where there are nurses on site that assists you when you need help or will bottle feed for you if you choose to so the moms aren’t sleep deprived, meals are delivered to your room. Some even have activities or spa treatments to help moms heal/alleviate pain. It’s a whole thing.
And a childcare nanny is common in our culture, where they look after you and the baby for a period of time after you give birth, like cook you nutrient rich foods and help teach you how to care for baby
This is the most beautifully graphic detail of what we go through after labor. This was so refreshing. This will absolutely help other women who are under the impression it's all perfectly staged Instagram pictures, and wearing super cute clothes 2 days after being home. Lol
Totally agree with you Tiff. Brilliantly done Samantha with your awesome sense of humour. My son is now 30 and you covered everything that no one told me about way back then. Best talk thru I've ever heard on this whole post partum experience. Much love 💖
Me, not pregnant, not planning on getting pregnant, researching whether vaginal birth or c section is easier post partum and getting light headed reading about swollen vulvas. I truly do not know how I’m going to give birth one day 🤣
Having just had a vaginal birth 5 days ago (after an emergency c section the first time… although I did labour and get to pushing with that one as well), I would 100% recommend c section! Vaginal was just awful all round for me, including post partum so far. I did have a 3rd degree tear to my asshole so that probably has some affect on my recommendation 😭🤣
@@charleeross3448 hahaha omg no you poor thing! I’m extremely petite, like 5ft, childbearing hips non existent 😂 so I just KNOW I will have awful tearing. My mum who is the same build did so I’ve always been so aware and stressed about it lmao. My boyfriend is a doctor and has delivered babies so I’ve just heard way too much information for my anxiety riddled self to handle 😂 I hope you’re feeling okay and taking it easy - such a queen birthing two bebes ❤️
@@kaseyrayton I am 5 ft and was 95 lbs when I got pregnant the first time. I'm very petite. I had a 1 inch long and half inch deep inner tear in my vagina when I had my 7 lb. 2.3 oz son. I was a little raw and sore, but could walk just fine a few hours after birth. It was a cakewalk compared to the emergency c-section I had when I had my 6 lbs 2 oz. daughter. It was TERRIBLE and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. After surgery, they couldn't find my pulse. I could barely lift my head. I literally thought I was dying, and had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days. I bled and bled. It took me weeks and a lot of prayer to get better. Birth is relative. I would allow nature to do her thing before I would recommend a c-section. Seriously. Do it the way nature intended.
“My pride is getting in the way of caring for my child.” You’re already a great parent realizing just months in. It takes some 25-30 years to figure that out ! 😆😔
Honestly, it’s awesome to reach child-rearing years in the company of awesome UA-cam voices like Sam. Social media sucks in a lot of ways, but having the opportunity to hear real-life experiences that center the reality of motherhood in all of its blood and frustrations and joy is so helpful and affirming.
I was just thinking this. I'm a few years older than Sam, but she's like one of three youtubers or influencers that I trust with anything. Sam having a baby kinda feels like a friend doing something and telling you what not to do. lol
In the 21 years since I had my first kid, I’ve never heard anyone be so honest about the misery of postpartum in such detail. Thank you for being so honest and I will share this with anyone who ever is expecting and wants the honest “what happens after” answer.
I love how real you are! I felt them doing my stitches when I tore too. I was actually pissed at the older women in my life for not preparing me for what postpartum would be like and how hard and emotional everything would be. Someone actually said “Nobody talks about it because they don’t want to scare you.” Fuck. That. Thank you for talking about it so more people are aware
Your raw honesty and authenticity is incredible. I’m not in a position to have a child right now but wow I learned so much from you sharing this experience. I teared up about the breast feeding with you as well. Im glad you’re doing well now!
Having a good or bad midwife is life changing for both you and bubba. Never beat yourself up for not being an expert when you've engaged experts and they have failed you. So glad you got a second midwife who was more helpful.
I think it is because it is something that we all expect to happen naturally and go on without any issues. My dad passed away when my daughter was almost 3 weeks old and between dealing with my own grief, the stress of having 2 babies under 2 years old, and trying to help my mom as much as I could, my milk dried up. I worked with a lactation consultant for a couple of weeks, trying to get it going again, but my little kitten was already a bit of a preemie and only weighed a little over 5 pounds at that point. Getting her fed and gaining was my number one priority, so I had to let it go. On the funny side, our son was breastfed for his first 9 months before he started weening himself and our daughter was formula fed after day 15 so it was like our own little science experiment. Now he is almost 20 and she just turned 18, both are healthy and smart! (although she is the scary kind of smart where she just soaks up information and remembers it, I don't credit formula for that)
I had my baby in March 17th and this is EXACTLY how I felt while learning to breastfeed. I did not understand how soul crushing it would be to feel like I was failing my daughter. Thankfully, it all worked out in the end and I love nursing my baby, but getting through the first 6 weeks breastfeeding and dealing with low supply was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
10 WEEKS, SAM? Are you alright, dear?! No wonder you almost passed out after showering. I feel like for about 6 months after giving birth, women should be put up in a luxury postpardum hotel with nurses who help you shower and change your pads and help you clean yourself. There should be a concierge for every Mom and several chefs available for food requests at all hours. I think I'd like to run something like that.
Catherine Théberge we (Canadians) do have paid maternity/paternal leave for up to 18 months I think, at minimum, it’s available for up to a year. It would be great to have funding available for mother’s care though! I can not imagine what parents do America, especially when they don’t have private healthcare
I can honestly say that even tho I've never had a baby. I almost cried hearing how Sam felt like a failure. Mom's are so strong and amazing, yes but they are people and there is no 'correct' way of being a Mom. My heart broke for her feeling that way.
Loved your honesty and I agree postpartum or the “fourth trimester” needs to be discussed more! I didn’t know how bad mum guilt can be. I felt guilty because I decided I didn’t want to breastfeed after 6 weeks and nurses kept saying they could help me get more support. It made me feel like I was supposed to want to do it because I was able to. Happy to hear you have worked out a way to feed your baby the way you want to. 🥰
The whole breastfeeding thing, OMGGGG lol that was me. I cried constantly every time someone mentioned supplementing. It really does make all the difference having an LC that explains everything to you and is actually knowledgeable. My last baby was 13 lbs 4 oz at birth and he lost down to 11 lbs. It took longer than usual to get him back up to birth weight and everyone was telling me I would have to supplement until I met an LC that was like, listen, this chart is for normal sized babies, your baby is extra large, so he’s not gonna fit into this chart. She watched me nurse, helped me out and we nursed for 23 months.
Unrelated to the subject, but the lighting in this looks so natural and compliments you beautifully; excited to see future videos in your new space. ❤️
SAM, THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE!! I felt so isolated and alone in my postpartum experience. It felt like it took me forever to “heal” and get back on my feet. I’ve seen girls a few days postpartum that just seemed totally not phased by labor and delivery and out living their life and it totally made me feel like crap. I didn’t start feeling “normal” again until almost 8 months postpartum. Not happy that you had a crazy postpartum experience but glad to not be alone in the craziness of postpartum.
As a doula I'm REEEEEALLY hyping up postpartum with my clients... It's so hard... And nobody will tell you a single thing. I want them to know in advance.
I cried listening to your breastfeeding struggle! I didn’t have the knowledge or help with my first so I ended up exclusively pumping and hating every second of it for 6 months. With my second, I was determined to make nursing work, but it was soooo hard! After lots of lactation consults (so many strangers watching me breastfeed!), using a nipple shield for longer than I probably should’ve, and lots of tears, I’m now almost 10 months in with exclusively nursing! I honestly hated it and struggled for the first 5-6 months, but then it finally got easier. Im so happy you were able to get help so you could continue.
I’m so sorry you were let down by that first midwife when you were in such a vulnerable place. With my first I had similar worries and my midwife sat with me for hours supporting me emotionally and helping with technique, that is their job! So glad you had someone more supportive the next visit. Everyone needs access to that kind of support with a new babe! Omg also cracking up laughing (with nothing but solidarity and understanding) over your breast pad experience 😂😂😂 so relatable!
Love your honest and candid advice. There is so much unspoken stuff about women and their 'plumbing' it's all so taboo for some strange reason. Like postpartum , menopause, sexual pain... It's nice to hear an influencer talk about it in an honest yet funny way. Thank you Sam!
I'm watching this while 4 days into my postpartum not feeling prepared for this part of the pregnancy; feeling so isolated, exhausted, and angry. I needed this. Thank you.
I'm personally never going to be pregnant nor be a mother but I find this video very informative and helpful since most youtubers doing videos around birth postpartum and parenthood are just telling the cutsy amazing things, I do not doubt there are, but this is REAL!
Not being able to breastfeed my son was the most heartbreaking experience and I always felt so silly for feeling so horrible about it but 2 years later I still want to cry when I think about it. I feel you girl !
Aw it’s not your fault! Moms and babes do NOT automatically know how to breastfeed! And if You don’t get the support you need at that time, or if you’re not in the right place... I’m sorry you were not able to, I hope you’ll keep trying to be gentle with yourself ❤️
My daughters two, smart af, incredibly healthy and happy but I still cry thinking about when I had to switch her over to formula cuz I couldn’t produce enough
I struggled with my first and had to switch to formula. My last two kids I was able to easily breastfeed. You never know, you may be able to with another child. Honestly, my kids are all intelligent and healthy. I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as people say it is.
omg. you are fine. i had 3 bottle fed babies. they are smart beautiful intelligent adults. breastfeeding is way overrated. im english. we dont breastfeed. no one has suffered believe me
As for the hospital bag, I didn’t use anything from my hospital bag either. I didn’t have any issues with post partum, as I had a c section. However, my labor was 40+ hours of me seizing off the bed because my contractions were so strong, but unproductive. My second child, my uterus just tore itself open after 16 hours of labor (I was unmedicated). So for me, postpartum was easier than the labor.
Omg this was my favourite content. It was everything. So candid, sad, hilarious, real, relatable, no bullshit but also helpful and totally authentic. I’m sure this is going to help so many women.
Helping mothers with breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I've had to do as a student nurse, but so absolutely rewarding. It's such a sensitive topic and new moms deserve to be handled with the utmost patience and care. But I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with you, fed is best. How we get you and baby there is something for you and your provider to handle as a team. So glad to hear that things are going well for you and bebe now!
Gosh I wish it wasn't seen as sensitive. The second you get into baby mode its just a practical thing that needs to happen. People get very easily stressed when trying to figure it out, and that stress makes it impossible to let milk down...I was lucky I was in hospital for several days, my birth was pretty horrific, but it meant nurses were helping me figure out feeding every time I tried. I am sure it would have been tough without great nurses.
@@rachelw74 I totally agree, I wish we all were more upfront about it throughout prenatal care to prepare mom better. And absolutely stress can be one of the biggest barriers, and what’s more stressful than literally birthing a child (through whatever method)? I’m glad you had great nurses to help you through what sounds like a traumatic experience! I wish every mom gets to have a great experience with their staff, but unfortunately I know that’s not the case. I’m just looking forward to working in L&D and getting to help a handful of moms feel a little more confident in themselves before they go home and start the long process of getting the hang of parenting!
It’s hard trying to navigate breastfeeding right after birth because every nurse that came in had a different way to show me and they often contradicted each other. It was very frustrating.
I’m post partum going on three weeks with my baby girl. I love how raw and honest you are! Thank you for being so truthful about all the ups and downs truly helps you not feel so alone. Plus your sense of humor thru it all is just glowing! You rock, congrats to you and your little family!🎉💗
I am approximately 6 weeks from giving birth and I can’t tell you how much this means to me! I feel like your personality is exactly how I feel about everything. I am soooo grateful for this video. Thank you!!!
Sleep when your baby sleeps, use depends instead of pads they are waaayyyy better. If and when you are ready to shower and feel anxious about leaving baby alone. If you have a baby chair strap them in and bring them into the shower with you. It's ok if they cry. Also it's ok for you to cry and most importantly no one and I mean no one comes prepared to be a parent. You got this mama.
People saying a c-section is the "easy option“ don’t realize that they literally cut up your whole stomach to take a baby out and that this huge cut needs time to heal.
I feel like because it's a more rare situation people don't think to educate others about it. Like, they don't say when they tell you to "rest" afterwards that you MIGHT FAINT JUST TRYING TO SIT UP IN YOUR HOSPITAL BED. Gosh. Everyone talk about it more. Everyone.
@@TheSimplyCooking my mom (a midwife) always says to remember a C-section is Major Surgery. It's not like getting your tonsils out. It's like having a heart bypass. Take gentle care of yourself.
I am so proud of you for opening up and being vulnerable in this video. Don’t mean that to sound condescending. postpartum is just such a vulnerable time and there’s so much shame and guilt around the whole thing, because none of us really knows what we’re doing. (which is why I think no one talks about it.) thank you for being open and honest. I found myself tearing up several times, but especially when you talked about your nursing experience. Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding thing ever. And you just can’t really understand it until you experience it yourself. You’re a great mom, Sam!!
Samantha, you truly are the only UA-camr to actually talk about postpartum with complete transparency. My postpartum was similar to yours and I’m grateful that you weren’t glamorizing anything at all about postpartum (not that you ever do that anyway). Love you and appreciate you!! Congrats on the baby.
Seriously Sam thank you for talking about your breastfeeding journey. Listening to you describing how much it affected you mentally brought me back to my own journey earlier this year and it’s definitely something that isn’t talked about enough when preparing to have a baby.
I’m having the best time listening to you talk about this. Like it’s completely irrelevant to my personal life but I’m having a ball. Missed you, and congratulations!
the comment about her telling you all the things you were doing wrong and not helping at all is exactly what happened to me after i had my son. it was heartbreaking and I really wish they offered better support.
36 weeks pregnant and this was super helpful! Thank you for your honesty. I’ve been avoiding labor videos because I’m too scared but your sense of humor and chillness was perfect.
Yeah, I agree to just rest until you’re healed. I had tearing so I had stitches. I think Mother Nature gives you like a boost of energy to be able to take care of baby and you feel super productive. So I was all anxious to get up and clean the house and whilst doing dishes and vacuuming…… tore my stitches. My healing was going so well but that really set me back!!!!
So nice to see you back! Congrats on surviving the early stages, they are tough physically and mentally. Nobody prepared me for it either. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and horrendous post partum depression. But like everything else, it fades into the dark corners of your mind after some time.
@@pennycandyys Yeah, it was brutal. My son got stuck in my pelvis and emergency intervention was needed. Thank goodness for modern medicine. Rough recovery for sure.
TW - graphic & way TMI. Oh man, I had an extreme episiotomy too - they were on the second try with the vacuum after 2.5 days later & 3 hrs of crowning with no progress & apparently the dr didn’t want to have to switch to emergency c-section if she didn’t come out by the 3rd try. Yeah, I honest to god know women who recovered from their c-sections before I recovered from my episiotomy. It was prob 6 months before I could stand for more than 10 min bcuz of the pressure on my junk & I still have some numbness 23 yr later. It also stopped working as an area of enjoyment until at least a year postpartum - I mean things felt good(ish) but I couldn’t get there if you get my drift. Anyway, as you can see my memory has not faded into dark corners of my mind, lol. That said, the kid turned pretty damn good so far & I’d say it was worth it in the end!
@@deltawhiskey1998 Ugh, that's horrible. Once you've had a kid, there is no such thing as TMI. I have a friend who had an emergency c section 3 days ago.... I feel like I hear more stories of emergency, would have died 100 years ago births than safe, could have done it at home stories.
Giving birth within the next 10 days and needed this video. I've been searching for postpartum vids and one from Sam is the best possible version. Thank you!! ❤️❤️
@@pennycandyys Maternity care as we know it in the Netherlands is unique. ... In the Netherlands, we consider maternity care so important that it is included in the basic insurance. Every maternity woman in our country is entitled to a minimum of 24 to a maximum of 80 hours of maternity care, spread over a maximum of ten days.
I had a baby 10 years ago and listening to you talk about all the drama and shame for struggling to breast feed still brings up ptsd. If you are recovering and the baby is gaining weight than you are doing a good job period.
As a mom myself.. I fucking love how honest you’re being 😂 I’ve followed you since the start girl and I can’t believe you’re a mom now! A wonderful mom at that 🖤
I always wondered what do mothers in western countries do postpartum. In my country and some Asian countries, we have a month of confinement period after labour. During this month, mums are suppose to eat very nutritional food to regain strength and not shower as it may cause migraines. We can hire confinement nanny to help with cooking the food and taking care of the baby as well
That blows my mind.. in the US they just try to make sure you have a safe delivery, and then only keep you a couple days but varies. They won’t give you more days than you need- if you and your baby are stable and healthy, they send you on your merry way
Thank you soooo much for talking about postpartum!!! It literally shook my entire being going through it. I still feel like I'm going through. I was literally nodding throughout this whole video. I wish that our world can have consistent, strong, helpful, empathetic support for mamas trying to heal themselves, learn all baby things and feeding styles. It is absolutely ridiculous that there are women out there who are traumatized with postpartum and no one helps! Even if you have support, it can be so isolating. Sending so much love & healing energy to you Sam!
I think this was really helpful for me because I have always been on the fence about giving birth and I selfishly don't think I could go through postpartum stuff. I've had an eating disorder and a lot of what you talked about with how much a person's body changes after giving birth is seriously terrifying to me one day. I may adopt but I have so much respect and appreciation for you for talking about this because it was super educational. I think watching this to affirm that someone doesn't want kids is also a really helpful experience to have from watching this so thank you for your vulnerability.
Thanks for your honesty. Motherhood and postpartum isn't easy or clean, and I'm so happy you're sharing your story. Good work momma, you did/are doing great!!!
You’re the only person I like to listen to because you don’t talk about it like flowers and butterflies and it annoys the hell out of me when women pretend it’s oh easy unless it really was for her that’s genuinely awesome but I mean I think mostly That is not the case for most. Glad I’m not alone in feeling like I’m gonna die in labor as well even tho I’m not even pregnant yet lol. Always thought I was crazy for thinking of the worst possible things to happen to me. Glad you made this video. I love how you talk about stuff. You’re just real and honest and you don’t wrap everything in pretty bows just to make yourself look perfect.
"Shit flew right out of there" Literally!! xD I can't even tell you how much I am relating to your experience when I had my son 9 years ago. Everyday I thought I was doing something wrong. That fear and exhaustion. Just horrible but somehow everyone survived and is thriving! :) Ty for being brutally honest about your journey.
16 yrs ago when I nursed my daughter I lived in the nursing tank tops. A lot like the tank tops with a built in bandeau bra that then unsnap from the top strap like a nursing bra. They were two in one so no need for a bra and shirt. Way too much to deal with when nursing like 100 times a day. I mean unless you just sit around in the nursing bra and that’s ok too. Whatever makes life easier and more comfortable is always best! You look great and are doing a great job!
Oh mama. I’m sorry to hear of your journey being so difficult. I’m a professional doula who specializes in postpartum support and this is exactly why I do what I do. Insurance should be covering doula support for all families IMO.
This was INCREDIBLY helpful and insightful. A REAL conversation about the realities of postpartum are normally glossed over bc we’re supposed to drop our own care for baby. While this does happen to an extent (obviously) - you can’t pour from an empty cup! Thank you!
My first child was 9 and a half pounds and I tore bad. I couldn’t walk normal for six weeks. Every time I went out during those six weeks I got the question “did you just get off a horse?” 🤦🏽♀️ I would just point to the baby attached to my body because 😒 duh. And I won’t even the torture of using the bathroom… postpartum is hell.
I was a teen mom. This was 16 years ago BEFORE prevalent use of smart phones, and high speed internet in our rural area. I could NOT have gotten through post partum without my mom and grandma guiding me through what to do to care for my lady bits and how to breast feed properly. My grandmother literally went in the bathroom with me to make sure I was doing the peri bottle correctly and taught me how to do the sitz bath. I don't know what happened between then and now, but it seems like moms and grandmother's are failing their daughters nowadays because of so much information being available at your fingertips. My sister had a baby 4 years ago after 16 years of infertility, and my mom and I sped down to Alabama from NC to be with her not just during the birth, but when she went home as well. Her OBGYN had NOT prepared her AT ALL for postpartum pain and healing, and if it wasn't for us she wouldn't have known what to do. I can't fathom how so many OBGYNs DONT prepare the mom to be for what's going to happen to them. They really don't prepare the new mom for how alone and abandoned they feel once the baby is out....its almost like you are forgotten and all the focus is on the baby. Women NEED better support during post partum, and I'm so sorry you didn't feel that support. 😔
I’m 9 weeks postpartum with my 5th baby and I felt all of this so deeply. You’ve had a rough trot (I’ve literally been there), you’re an amazing mama, what a lucky baby you have. And good midwives are worth their weight in gold.
FUCKING THAAAANK YOUUUUU!!! I wish I could literally call you on the phone right now and just say thank you. This is probably the greatest postpartum video I’ve ever watched. I’ve had four kids (and please Jesus let me be done!!!) and this is the real freakin deal right here. I will be sharing this video with every person I know who’s expecting because girl, you nailed it with this shit right here. I’m like not postpartum and not expecting or anything and I stillllll cried when you were talking about the difficulty with breastfeeding and the feeling of failure. It is so damn real and so damn heavy. Thank you for being real. Women NEED this video. Damn Sam. Thank you. I could kiss you. Like FRFR. THANK YOU!
As a mom of two as well, my postpartum with my first was awful but my postpartum with my second was nothing. I don’t know if I had anticipated it being as bad as the first, or I made up on my head that the first was worse than it was but that was a pleasant surprise.
This was such a great video and spot on. I have four children and you are right, no one prepares you for postpartum. I absolutely love your personality, and this had me thinking about my failed breastfeeding with my first daughter, crying in the other room while my husband fed our daughter a bottle. Now, she’s 10 and I could care less about how I fed her(at the time, I was sure I had failed at motherhood). She’s sassy, hilarious, and I’m so thankful to be past the newborn stage. Keep speaking up and sharing. So many women and men will benefit from your message!
I am so happy you shared your story because I can’t even begin to tell you how much I can relate to your postpartum journey. The way you feel about breastfeeding- same girl. It’s what I really wanted and my baby also lost weight and I was told to pump as well and it broke my heart. My mother in law fed my baby and I sobbed I also couldn’t watch and it felt horrific I cried just hearing your story haha so many emotions! Loving this video, thank you again for making me feel less alone on my journey! They really don’t tell you enough about post partum and how much of a fucking nightmare it is and how lonely it can feel!
Thanks for your honesty! I also got an episiotomy and exclusively breastfed and my must-haves were: - upside down peribottle from amazon (i gave birth late 2019 before frida launched their mom line) it's the exact same bottle but cheaper -Tucks witch hazel wipes. This replaced the ice pads and those frida liners you showed). They're small rounds, i folded one in half, applied it to my wound and put my diaper/pad on) -Aways boutique diapers (doubled up with extra pads for the heaviest says) -Lanolin nipple cream after every feed and shower. Sometimes before feeds. To PREVENT cracking.
I’m about to have a baby (like tonight kinda situation) and I have been WAITING for you to come through with the PP experience. I trust you so much to give it to me straight. Lots of info out there and you’re right: you can find the “answer” to whatever you’re looking for. Thank you for sharing all of this!
You are a great mom!!! Don't feel bad about things you can't do !! You gave your best...and that's what makes you the best and most responsible mother in this entire world :) happy motherhood :)
Listening to you talk about breastfeeding is resonating with me. I wanted it to be so much easier than it was and I was so emotional over it. I was able to power through it but I wish someone would've warned me that it isn't as natural as it seems.
Sam thank you for making this video. With my first I completely underestimated the amount of pain I'd be in post birth. Ironically, with my second I prepared with enough supplies for a small war but barely used a thing. I think it's important for people to know what to expect and how to prepare if needed. Yes, labor is difficult but so is postpartum and it lasts a hell of a lot longer too!
I want to like this video way more than once! Becoming a mom is the craziest experience ever. It's so hard, and so easy, it's tough and amazing. If you haven't been through it you would never understand. Becoming a mom has shown me how much patience I have and how strong I am. Welcome to the other side.
Yes. Postpartum is the worst. Thank you for being REAL and honest. I felt myself saying “ohhh honey im so sorry” w the episiotomy and tearing. Had it too. Each potty trip took like 30 minutes for all of the sanitizing after. And then by then baby needs to feed again. Anyway you’re not alone.
Yessss!!! Btw you and Rawbeautykristi normalizing talking about Postpartum! I am here for it. Felt the same. Labor scared me, but was not bad. Postpartum... lord... This whole video is so relatable. Thank you for talking about it!
100% agree with you about the importance of support when nursing! It was so hard to get it right.. it literally took me three months to get my baby to latch properly. Thank god for my husband and his kind words of encouragement during that time! Also, my girlfriend that nursed her two babies and gave me the best advice!
I fully understand. I’m so glad you had the proper support from that last nurse to keep encouraging you to breast feed since it was so important to you. The stuff you went through happened to me too. I’m so glad you survived that. Congratulations 🥳 your an absolutely champion mummy ❤️💕
I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second and wholeheartedly agree that postpartum and breastfeeding is something that needs to be talked about more! I feel like the only thing people talk about is the unhelpful "advice" like "Just you wait, if you think this is hard..." or "enjoy sleep now because you won't ever sleep again." Your experience has similarities with mine. I was completely naive about the physical and mental issues I'd experience with my first. I too had internal & external 2nd degree tears and because I hadn't slept at all for a solid 4 days, I experienced odd hallucinations/intrusive thoughts. Also, I thought breastfeeding would be easy, but after 3 weeks of feeling like a complete failure because I couldn't get my son to latch properly, I went to a lactation specialist and she helped me tremendously!
Lol I'm a labour and delivery nurse and the fact that for your first kid you went from not contracting often, to delivery in 8 hours is actually considered fast fast. Also we actually don't recommend witch hazel for healing episiotomies because a lot of people react to it badly and it doesn't help heal much
This was super helpful. Im about to pop with my first and I have zero idea what to expect. I also bought a bravado bra a month ago because someone else recommended it and fuck yeah! It rocks.
You are hilarious. I know that's not the point of this because you're speaking some real truths here but I just die when you explain stuff. Not a lot of people talk about this stuff and things that worked or didn't and just the wah you say it makes it so relatable.
Never been pregnant, and not even in a position to have children, but I needed this because I needed a Sam video :')
Sameeee
Same, not planning on children at all but heyyy, nice to see Sam's back!
Genuinely same ❤️
Literally the same 😅
Same here. Not even close to being pregnant but love Sam so here I am.
Oh man… as a Chinese I am now thankful that “postpartum centre” is a thing for us. You stay there for 20-30 days after you give birth where there are nurses on site that assists you when you need help or will bottle feed for you if you choose to so the moms aren’t sleep deprived, meals are delivered to your room. Some even have activities or spa treatments to help moms heal/alleviate pain. It’s a whole thing.
That’s amazing!
What!!!! I would love to watch a vlog about this! Every country should have this
What??? That's incredible!!
Whhhaaattt. That is incredible!
And a childcare nanny is common in our culture, where they look after you and the baby for a period of time after you give birth, like cook you nutrient rich foods and help teach you how to care for baby
i know what you're thinking
i've outdone myself with this thumbnail
i fully agree
Glad you’re back bestie, I love your new background and setup 🤩
It's a work of art. Some may say, extra vagant.
I love this so much lol. I’m due in December and I need more videos like this 😂😂😂
This is the most beautifully graphic detail of what we go through after labor. This was so refreshing. This will absolutely help other women who are under the impression it's all perfectly staged Instagram pictures, and wearing super cute clothes 2 days after being home. Lol
Totally agree with you Tiff.
Brilliantly done Samantha with your awesome sense of humour.
My son is now 30 and you covered everything that no one told me about way back then.
Best talk thru I've ever heard on this whole post partum experience.
Much love 💖
Me, not pregnant, not planning on getting pregnant, researching whether vaginal birth or c section is easier post partum and getting light headed reading about swollen vulvas. I truly do not know how I’m going to give birth one day 🤣
Having just had a vaginal birth 5 days ago (after an emergency c section the first time… although I did labour and get to pushing with that one as well), I would 100% recommend c section! Vaginal was just awful all round for me, including post partum so far. I did have a 3rd degree tear to my asshole so that probably has some affect on my recommendation 😭🤣
@@charleeross3448 hahaha omg no you poor thing! I’m extremely petite, like 5ft, childbearing hips non existent 😂 so I just KNOW I will have awful tearing. My mum who is the same build did so I’ve always been so aware and stressed about it lmao. My boyfriend is a doctor and has delivered babies so I’ve just heard way too much information for my anxiety riddled self to handle 😂 I hope you’re feeling okay and taking it easy - such a queen birthing two bebes ❤️
@@charleeross3448 damn! I cant imagine how painful that is!!! I read online that 3rd and 4th degree lacerations are real in chilbirth
@@kaseyrayton I am 5 ft and was 95 lbs when I got pregnant the first time. I'm very petite. I had a 1 inch long and half inch deep inner tear in my vagina when I had my 7 lb. 2.3 oz son. I was a little raw and sore, but could walk just fine a few hours after birth. It was a cakewalk compared to the emergency c-section I had when I had my 6 lbs 2 oz. daughter. It was TERRIBLE and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. After surgery, they couldn't find my pulse. I could barely lift my head. I literally thought I was dying, and had to stay in the hospital for a few extra days. I bled and bled. It took me weeks and a lot of prayer to get better. Birth is relative. I would allow nature to do her thing before I would recommend a c-section. Seriously. Do it the way nature intended.
You would be amazed what your body can do!
“My pride is getting in the way of caring for my child.” You’re already a great parent realizing just months in. It takes some 25-30 years to figure that out ! 😆😔
“Postpartum… what the fuck” is the realest shit Ive ever heard
Honestly, it’s awesome to reach child-rearing years in the company of awesome UA-cam voices like Sam. Social media sucks in a lot of ways, but having the opportunity to hear real-life experiences that center the reality of motherhood in all of its blood and frustrations and joy is so helpful and affirming.
I was just thinking this. I'm a few years older than Sam, but she's like one of three youtubers or influencers that I trust with anything. Sam having a baby kinda feels like a friend doing something and telling you what not to do. lol
In the 21 years since I had my first kid, I’ve never heard anyone be so honest about the misery of postpartum in such detail. Thank you for being so honest and I will share this with anyone who ever is expecting and wants the honest “what happens after” answer.
I love how real you are! I felt them doing my stitches when I tore too. I was actually pissed at the older women in my life for not preparing me for what postpartum would be like and how hard and emotional everything would be. Someone actually said “Nobody talks about it because they don’t want to scare you.” Fuck. That. Thank you for talking about it so more people are aware
Your raw honesty and authenticity is incredible. I’m not in a position to have a child right now but wow I learned so much from you sharing this experience. I teared up about the breast feeding with you as well. Im glad you’re doing well now!
Same! I cried when she said she feels like a failure when her baby won’t latch and couldn’t even watch Matt feed the baby 😭
Having a good or bad midwife is life changing for both you and bubba. Never beat yourself up for not being an expert when you've engaged experts and they have failed you. So glad you got a second midwife who was more helpful.
Your breastfeeding journey is honestly the norm. So many women struggle yet we all feel like failures. Thank you for sharing.
I cried endlessly… I felt like such a failure of a human.., the one thing my body is meant to do, but it wouldn’t do it correctly 😭
@@foreverNwonder same 😔
I think it is because it is something that we all expect to happen naturally and go on without any issues. My dad passed away when my daughter was almost 3 weeks old and between dealing with my own grief, the stress of having 2 babies under 2 years old, and trying to help my mom as much as I could, my milk dried up. I worked with a lactation consultant for a couple of weeks, trying to get it going again, but my little kitten was already a bit of a preemie and only weighed a little over 5 pounds at that point. Getting her fed and gaining was my number one priority, so I had to let it go. On the funny side, our son was breastfed for his first 9 months before he started weening himself and our daughter was formula fed after day 15 so it was like our own little science experiment. Now he is almost 20 and she just turned 18, both are healthy and smart! (although she is the scary kind of smart where she just soaks up information and remembers it, I don't credit formula for that)
I had my baby in March 17th and this is EXACTLY how I felt while learning to breastfeed. I did not understand how soul crushing it would be to feel like I was failing my daughter. Thankfully, it all worked out in the end and I love nursing my baby, but getting through the first 6 weeks breastfeeding and dealing with low supply was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
10 WEEKS, SAM? Are you alright, dear?! No wonder you almost passed out after showering. I feel like for about 6 months after giving birth, women should be put up in a luxury postpardum hotel with nurses who help you shower and change your pads and help you clean yourself. There should be a concierge for every Mom and several chefs available for food requests at all hours. I think I'd like to run something like that.
Seriously. BIG YIKES.
@@elizabethepp9507 Right??! 😳
I also feel that if men were able to get pregnant their would be some kind of paid pregnancy leave. That sh$# is HARD.
Catherine Théberge we (Canadians) do have paid maternity/paternal leave for up to 18 months I think, at minimum, it’s available for up to a year. It would be great to have funding available for mother’s care though! I can not imagine what parents do America, especially when they don’t have private healthcare
Totally agree.
I can honestly say that even tho I've never had a baby. I almost cried hearing how Sam felt like a failure. Mom's are so strong and amazing, yes but they are people and there is no 'correct' way of being a Mom. My heart broke for her feeling that way.
I’m a full ass man, but I’m still going to watch this because it’s Sam
I was thinking the same thing lol except I'm a femme with my tubes tied and doubled up with a birth control implant 😂
You may be male, but you're damn sure not a man. 🙃
@@brutalhonesty6742 and who are you to dictate what i identify as?
@@VenoCenteno I reported this butt bag. Don't give them fuel. Also your makeup is on point in your pic. ❤❤❤❤
✌
Loved your honesty and I agree postpartum or the “fourth trimester” needs to be discussed more!
I didn’t know how bad mum guilt can be. I felt guilty because I decided I didn’t want to breastfeed after 6 weeks and nurses kept saying they could help me get more support. It made me feel like I was supposed to want to do it because I was able to.
Happy to hear you have worked out a way to feed your baby the way you want to. 🥰
apologies for the amount of f-bombs in this video lolol
NEVER APOLOGISE FOR THE F-BOMBS.
Or for anything, actually.
The whole breastfeeding thing, OMGGGG lol that was me. I cried constantly every time someone mentioned supplementing. It really does make all the difference having an LC that explains everything to you and is actually knowledgeable. My last baby was 13 lbs 4 oz at birth and he lost down to 11 lbs. It took longer than usual to get him back up to birth weight and everyone was telling me I would have to supplement until I met an LC that was like, listen, this chart is for normal sized babies, your baby is extra large, so he’s not gonna fit into this chart.
She watched me nurse, helped me out and we nursed for 23 months.
Unrelated to the subject, but the lighting in this looks so natural and compliments you beautifully; excited to see future videos in your new space. ❤️
Right!!! It feels like I'm literally sitting in front of her. 🤗
Yes omg. As soon as the video started I noticed a difference in quality
SAM, THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE!! I felt so isolated and alone in my postpartum experience. It felt like it took me forever to “heal” and get back on my feet. I’ve seen girls a few days postpartum that just seemed totally not phased by labor and delivery and out living their life and it totally made me feel like crap. I didn’t start feeling “normal” again until almost 8 months postpartum. Not happy that you had a crazy postpartum experience but glad to not be alone in the craziness of postpartum.
As a doula I'm REEEEEALLY hyping up postpartum with my clients... It's so hard... And nobody will tell you a single thing. I want them to know in advance.
I cried listening to your breastfeeding struggle! I didn’t have the knowledge or help with my first so I ended up exclusively pumping and hating every second of it for 6 months. With my second, I was determined to make nursing work, but it was soooo hard! After lots of lactation consults (so many strangers watching me breastfeed!), using a nipple shield for longer than I probably should’ve, and lots of tears, I’m now almost 10 months in with exclusively nursing! I honestly hated it and struggled for the first 5-6 months, but then it finally got easier. Im so happy you were able to get help so you could continue.
I’m so sorry you were let down by that first midwife when you were in such a vulnerable place. With my first I had similar worries and my midwife sat with me for hours supporting me emotionally and helping with technique, that is their job! So glad you had someone more supportive the next visit. Everyone needs access to that kind of support with a new babe! Omg also cracking up laughing (with nothing but solidarity and understanding) over your breast pad experience 😂😂😂 so relatable!
I feel like a bidet would be life changing in that phase of post partum
It's all about the Sitz bath
Love your honest and candid advice. There is so much unspoken stuff about women and their 'plumbing' it's all so taboo for some strange reason. Like postpartum , menopause, sexual pain... It's nice to hear an influencer talk about it in an honest yet funny way. Thank you Sam!
Agreed
I'm watching this while 4 days into my postpartum not feeling prepared for this part of the pregnancy; feeling so isolated, exhausted, and angry. I needed this. Thank you.
I'm personally never going to be pregnant nor be a mother but I find this video very informative and helpful since most youtubers doing videos around birth postpartum and parenthood are just telling the cutsy amazing things, I do not doubt there are, but this is REAL!
I like the lighting and sound..
Not being able to breastfeed my son was the most heartbreaking experience and I always felt so silly for feeling so horrible about it but 2 years later I still want to cry when I think about it. I feel you girl !
Aw it’s not your fault! Moms and babes do NOT automatically know how to breastfeed! And if You don’t get the support you need at that time, or if you’re not in the right place... I’m sorry you were not able to, I hope you’ll keep trying to be gentle with yourself ❤️
OMG It seems like I wrote this! 2 years later and I can immediately cry about it
My daughters two, smart af, incredibly healthy and happy but I still cry thinking about when I had to switch her over to formula cuz I couldn’t produce enough
I struggled with my first and had to switch to formula. My last two kids I was able to easily breastfeed. You never know, you may be able to with another child. Honestly, my kids are all intelligent and healthy. I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as people say it is.
omg. you are fine. i had 3 bottle fed babies. they are smart beautiful intelligent adults. breastfeeding is way overrated. im english. we dont breastfeed. no one has suffered believe me
As for the hospital bag, I didn’t use anything from my hospital bag either. I didn’t have any issues with post partum, as I had a c section. However, my labor was 40+ hours of me seizing off the bed because my contractions were so strong, but unproductive. My second child, my uterus just tore itself open after 16 hours of labor (I was unmedicated). So for me, postpartum was easier than the labor.
im sitting here watching this in shock and awe of all people that give birth. 5 stars for y'all. wow.
Omg this was my favourite content. It was everything. So candid, sad, hilarious, real, relatable, no bullshit but also helpful and totally authentic. I’m sure this is going to help so many women.
Helping mothers with breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I've had to do as a student nurse, but so absolutely rewarding. It's such a sensitive topic and new moms deserve to be handled with the utmost patience and care. But I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with you, fed is best. How we get you and baby there is something for you and your provider to handle as a team. So glad to hear that things are going well for you and bebe now!
Gosh I wish it wasn't seen as sensitive. The second you get into baby mode its just a practical thing that needs to happen. People get very easily stressed when trying to figure it out, and that stress makes it impossible to let milk down...I was lucky I was in hospital for several days, my birth was pretty horrific, but it meant nurses were helping me figure out feeding every time I tried. I am sure it would have been tough without great nurses.
@@rachelw74 I totally agree, I wish we all were more upfront about it throughout prenatal care to prepare mom better. And absolutely stress can be one of the biggest barriers, and what’s more stressful than literally birthing a child (through whatever method)? I’m glad you had great nurses to help you through what sounds like a traumatic experience! I wish every mom gets to have a great experience with their staff, but unfortunately I know that’s not the case. I’m just looking forward to working in L&D and getting to help a handful of moms feel a little more confident in themselves before they go home and start the long process of getting the hang of parenting!
It’s hard trying to navigate breastfeeding right after birth because every nurse that came in had a different way to show me and they often contradicted each other. It was very frustrating.
I’m post partum going on three weeks with my baby girl. I love how raw and honest you are! Thank you for being so truthful about all the ups and downs truly helps you not feel so alone. Plus your sense of humor thru it all is just glowing! You rock, congrats to you and your little family!🎉💗
I am approximately 6 weeks from giving birth and I can’t tell you how much this means to me! I feel like your personality is exactly how I feel about everything. I am soooo grateful for this video. Thank you!!!
Sleep when your baby sleeps, use depends instead of pads they are waaayyyy better. If and when you are ready to shower and feel anxious about leaving baby alone. If you have a baby chair strap them in and bring them into the shower with you. It's ok if they cry. Also it's ok for you to cry and most importantly no one and I mean no one comes prepared to be a parent. You got this mama.
Sorry not the the shower I meant bathroom lol
This comment is everything🥰
@@leti87o 💗💗💗
Omg the background, the shirt, the makeup, the vibessss
Gawd yes. Having an emergency cesarean was scary but NO ONE told me how fucked up postpartum would be after one.
People saying a c-section is the "easy option“ don’t realize that they literally cut up your whole stomach to take a baby out and that this huge cut needs time to heal.
I feel like because it's a more rare situation people don't think to educate others about it. Like, they don't say when they tell you to "rest" afterwards that you MIGHT FAINT JUST TRYING TO SIT UP IN YOUR HOSPITAL BED. Gosh. Everyone talk about it more. Everyone.
@@TheSimplyCooking my mom (a midwife) always says to remember a C-section is Major Surgery. It's not like getting your tonsils out. It's like having a heart bypass. Take gentle care of yourself.
YES. Came here to say the exact same thing.
I am so proud of you for opening up and being vulnerable in this video. Don’t mean that to sound condescending. postpartum is just such a vulnerable time and there’s so much shame and guilt around the whole thing, because none of us really knows what we’re doing. (which is why I think no one talks about it.) thank you for being open and honest. I found myself tearing up several times, but especially when you talked about your nursing experience. Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding thing ever. And you just can’t really understand it until you experience it yourself. You’re a great mom, Sam!!
Samantha, you truly are the only UA-camr to actually talk about postpartum with complete transparency. My postpartum was similar to yours and I’m grateful that you weren’t glamorizing anything at all about postpartum (not that you ever do that anyway). Love you and appreciate you!! Congrats on the baby.
Seriously Sam thank you for talking about your breastfeeding journey. Listening to you describing how much it affected you mentally brought me back to my own journey earlier this year and it’s definitely something that isn’t talked about enough when preparing to have a baby.
I’m having the best time listening to you talk about this. Like it’s completely irrelevant to my personal life but I’m having a ball. Missed you, and congratulations!
the comment about her telling you all the things you were doing wrong and not helping at all is exactly what happened to me after i had my son. it was heartbreaking and I really wish they offered better support.
"I'm a beauty guru. We slipped through the cracks" I cacked lmao welcome back sam! ❤❤❤
36 weeks pregnant and this was super helpful! Thank you for your honesty. I’ve been avoiding labor videos because I’m too scared but your sense of humor and chillness was perfect.
The honesty new moms need! You all deserve as much comfort and support as possible post-birth.
Yeah, I agree to just rest until you’re healed. I had tearing so I had stitches. I think Mother Nature gives you like a boost of energy to be able to take care of baby and you feel super productive. So I was all anxious to get up and clean the house and whilst doing dishes and vacuuming…… tore my stitches. My healing was going so well but that really set me back!!!!
So nice to see you back! Congrats on surviving the early stages, they are tough physically and mentally. Nobody prepared me for it either. I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and horrendous post partum depression. But like everything else, it fades into the dark corners of your mind after some time.
3rd degree? You are so strong to have survived that while finding the strength to look after your baby. Wow.
@@pennycandyys Yeah, it was brutal. My son got stuck in my pelvis and emergency intervention was needed. Thank goodness for modern medicine. Rough recovery for sure.
TW - graphic & way TMI.
Oh man, I had an extreme episiotomy too - they were on the second try with the vacuum after 2.5 days later & 3 hrs of crowning with no progress & apparently the dr didn’t want to have to switch to emergency c-section if she didn’t come out by the 3rd try.
Yeah, I honest to god know women who recovered from their c-sections before I recovered from my episiotomy. It was prob 6 months before I could stand for more than 10 min bcuz of the pressure on my junk & I still have some numbness 23 yr later. It also stopped working as an area of enjoyment until at least a year postpartum - I mean things felt good(ish) but I couldn’t get there if you get my drift.
Anyway, as you can see my memory has not faded into dark corners of my mind, lol. That said, the kid turned pretty damn good so far & I’d say it was worth it in the end!
@@deltawhiskey1998 Ugh, that's horrible. Once you've had a kid, there is no such thing as TMI. I have a friend who had an emergency c section 3 days ago.... I feel like I hear more stories of emergency, would have died 100 years ago births than safe, could have done it at home stories.
I actually really like the lighting! I feel like if the lighting is too bright, it takes away from how you’d look in real life
Giving birth within the next 10 days and needed this video. I've been searching for postpartum vids and one from Sam is the best possible version. Thank you!! ❤️❤️
In the same boat!! I'm 39 weeks this week. Congrats. Hope your labor goes smoothly.
All the best to you guys ❤️🍀
I love this. Thank you for being willing to enter the TMI zone to give this valuable information to your fellow new moms. You’re hilarious.
I LOVED how conversational this was and I feel like I genuinely learned so much. Thank you for being you and sharing your experience 💕
Omg. So sorry to hear this. I live in the Netherlands & we have a lady after giving birth for 8 days in our house. She helps mom & baby. ❤️
Oh man, that is so amazing and necessary! Why isn’t that everywhere?!
@@pennycandyys Maternity care as we know it in the Netherlands is unique. ... In the Netherlands, we consider maternity care so important that it is included in the basic insurance. Every maternity woman in our country is entitled to a minimum of 24 to a maximum of 80 hours of maternity care, spread over a maximum of ten days.
That’s wonderful
Its definitely a cultural thing, I lived in the Netherlands for 8 years and hated the thought of that!
Sounds like I’m moving
this needs to go viral for all the 100% ACCURATE info you provide. Postpartum is the WORST
This video reminded me to reach out to my ‘new mom’ friends about their mental health and how they are healing ♥️
Oh my goodness! Same here!
YES do that
I had a baby 10 years ago and listening to you talk about all the drama and shame for struggling to breast feed still brings up ptsd. If you are recovering and the baby is gaining weight than you are doing a good job period.
As a mom myself.. I fucking love how honest you’re being 😂 I’ve followed you since the start girl and I can’t believe you’re a mom now! A wonderful mom at that 🖤
I'm nowhere near pregnancy or postpartum in my life right now, but I so appreciated this. It felt very relatable. Congratulations on the baby!
The nipple pad story. 😂 Sam is the best story teller.
I never had to use them but I LOL at that part.
I loled so hard 😂😭
I always wondered what do mothers in western countries do postpartum.
In my country and some Asian countries, we have a month of confinement period after labour. During this month, mums are suppose to eat very nutritional food to regain strength and not shower as it may cause migraines. We can hire confinement nanny to help with cooking the food and taking care of the baby as well
That blows my mind.. in the US they just try to make sure you have a safe delivery, and then only keep you a couple days but varies. They won’t give you more days than you need- if you and your baby are stable and healthy, they send you on your merry way
Thank you soooo much for talking about postpartum!!! It literally shook my entire being going through it. I still feel like I'm going through. I was literally nodding throughout this whole video. I wish that our world can have consistent, strong, helpful, empathetic support for mamas trying to heal themselves, learn all baby things and feeding styles. It is absolutely ridiculous that there are women out there who are traumatized with postpartum and no one helps! Even if you have support, it can be so isolating. Sending so much love & healing energy to you Sam!
Those tucks wipes were my FAVORITE product. Could not have done it without them.
6 months pregnant here with my first and hearing people’s hard experiences has helped me a lot. Thank you for your honesty and advice!
I think this was really helpful for me because I have always been on the fence about giving birth and I selfishly don't think I could go through postpartum stuff. I've had an eating disorder and a lot of what you talked about with how much a person's body changes after giving birth is seriously terrifying to me one day. I may adopt but I have so much respect and appreciation for you for talking about this because it was super educational. I think watching this to affirm that someone doesn't want kids is also a really helpful experience to have from watching this so thank you for your vulnerability.
Thanks for your honesty. Motherhood and postpartum isn't easy or clean, and I'm so happy you're sharing your story. Good work momma, you did/are doing great!!!
You’re the only person I like to listen to because you don’t talk about it like flowers and butterflies and it annoys the hell out of me when women pretend it’s oh easy unless it really was for her that’s genuinely awesome but I mean I think mostly That is not the case for most. Glad I’m not alone in feeling like I’m gonna die in labor as well even tho I’m not even pregnant yet lol. Always thought I was crazy for thinking of the worst possible things to happen to me. Glad you made this video. I love how you talk about stuff. You’re just real and honest and you don’t wrap everything in pretty bows just to make yourself look perfect.
This is further proof I will watch absolutely anything you put out - I’m don’t have kids or plan on being pregnant anytime soon yet here I am
Also welcome back mama !!!!!! New space looks lovely 🥰
"Shit flew right out of there" Literally!! xD I can't even tell you how much I am relating to your experience when I had my son 9 years ago. Everyday I thought I was doing something wrong. That fear and exhaustion. Just horrible but somehow everyone survived and is thriving! :) Ty for being brutally honest about your journey.
Due any day thank you for posting this! My mom is no longer with us so this is exactly what I needed!
you got this!! wishing you a speedy and safe birth 💗 congrats!
You can do it! ❤️
16 yrs ago when I nursed my daughter I lived in the nursing tank tops. A lot like the tank tops with a built in bandeau bra that then unsnap from the top strap like a nursing bra. They were two in one so no need for a bra and shirt. Way too much to deal with when nursing like 100 times a day. I mean unless you just sit around in the nursing bra and that’s ok too. Whatever makes life easier and more comfortable is always best!
You look great and are doing a great job!
Oh mama. I’m sorry to hear of your journey being so difficult. I’m a professional doula who specializes in postpartum support and this is exactly why I do what I do. Insurance should be covering doula support for all families IMO.
Indeed. In Netherlands this is the case.
This was INCREDIBLY helpful and insightful. A REAL conversation about the realities of postpartum are normally glossed over bc we’re supposed to drop our own care for baby. While this does happen to an extent (obviously) - you can’t pour from an empty cup! Thank you!
I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first child and thank you for being so honest. I really feel like not enough women talk about this stuff
Congrats :)
Love the lighting and sound. I can see your face clearly. Your last setup didn’t allow that. Thank you for being awesome!
My first child was 9 and a half pounds and I tore bad. I couldn’t walk normal for six weeks. Every time I went out during those six weeks I got the question “did you just get off a horse?” 🤦🏽♀️ I would just point to the baby attached to my body because 😒 duh. And I won’t even the torture of using the bathroom… postpartum is hell.
Wow, mine was 8 lbs, 8 ounces and she was soo hard to push out. I hear about bigger babies and I just 😳
What women’s bodies are able to handle is MIND BLOWING! I’m sorry people were so inconsiderate.
I was a teen mom. This was 16 years ago BEFORE prevalent use of smart phones, and high speed internet in our rural area. I could NOT have gotten through post partum without my mom and grandma guiding me through what to do to care for my lady bits and how to breast feed properly. My grandmother literally went in the bathroom with me to make sure I was doing the peri bottle correctly and taught me how to do the sitz bath. I don't know what happened between then and now, but it seems like moms and grandmother's are failing their daughters nowadays because of so much information being available at your fingertips. My sister had a baby 4 years ago after 16 years of infertility, and my mom and I sped down to Alabama from NC to be with her not just during the birth, but when she went home as well. Her OBGYN had NOT prepared her AT ALL for postpartum pain and healing, and if it wasn't for us she wouldn't have known what to do. I can't fathom how so many OBGYNs DONT prepare the mom to be for what's going to happen to them. They really don't prepare the new mom for how alone and abandoned they feel once the baby is out....its almost like you are forgotten and all the focus is on the baby. Women NEED better support during post partum, and I'm so sorry you didn't feel that support. 😔
Wow Sam, THANK YOU for talking about postpartum in such detail. Its not something thats talked about enough. Congrats again on your growing family!
i love your new setup and lighting! looks great
I’m 9 weeks postpartum with my 5th baby and I felt all of this so deeply. You’ve had a rough trot (I’ve literally been there), you’re an amazing mama, what a lucky baby you have. And good midwives are worth their weight in gold.
FUCKING THAAAANK YOUUUUU!!! I wish I could literally call you on the phone right now and just say thank you. This is probably the greatest postpartum video I’ve ever watched. I’ve had four kids (and please Jesus let me be done!!!) and this is the real freakin deal right here. I will be sharing this video with every person I know who’s expecting because girl, you nailed it with this shit right here. I’m like not postpartum and not expecting or anything and I stillllll cried when you were talking about the difficulty with breastfeeding and the feeling of failure. It is so damn real and so damn heavy. Thank you for being real. Women NEED this video. Damn Sam. Thank you. I could kiss you. Like FRFR. THANK YOU!
Whelp. As a mom of 2, this is 100000% accurate. Post partum is no joke.
As a mom of two as well, my postpartum with my first was awful but my postpartum with my second was nothing. I don’t know if I had anticipated it being as bad as the first, or I made up on my head that the first was worse than it was but that was a pleasant surprise.
My second wasn’t as bad as well. Every pregnancy is different though...
@@pennycandyys yeah for sure!
This was such a great video and spot on. I have four children and you are right, no one prepares you for postpartum. I absolutely love your personality, and this had me thinking about my failed breastfeeding with my first daughter, crying in the other room while my husband fed our daughter a bottle. Now, she’s 10 and I could care less about how I fed her(at the time, I was sure I had failed at motherhood). She’s sassy, hilarious, and I’m so thankful to be past the newborn stage. Keep speaking up and sharing. So many women and men will benefit from your message!
I am so happy you shared your story because I can’t even begin to tell you how much I can relate to your postpartum journey. The way you feel about breastfeeding- same girl. It’s what I really wanted and my baby also lost weight and I was told to pump as well and it broke my heart. My mother in law fed my baby and I sobbed I also couldn’t watch and it felt horrific I cried just hearing your story haha so many emotions! Loving this video, thank you again for making me feel less alone on my journey! They really don’t tell you enough about post partum and how much of a fucking nightmare it is and how lonely it can feel!
Thanks for your honesty!
I also got an episiotomy and exclusively breastfed and my must-haves were:
- upside down peribottle from amazon (i gave birth late 2019 before frida launched their mom line) it's the exact same bottle but cheaper
-Tucks witch hazel wipes. This replaced the ice pads and those frida liners you showed). They're small rounds, i folded one in half, applied it to my wound and put my diaper/pad on)
-Aways boutique diapers (doubled up with extra pads for the heaviest says)
-Lanolin nipple cream after every feed and shower. Sometimes before feeds. To PREVENT cracking.
I’m about to have a baby (like tonight kinda situation) and I have been WAITING for you to come through with the PP experience. I trust you so much to give it to me straight. Lots of info out there and you’re right: you can find the “answer” to whatever you’re looking for. Thank you for sharing all of this!
Good luck!
Omg good luck!! Update!!
You are a great mom!!! Don't feel bad about things you can't do !! You gave your best...and that's what makes you the best and most responsible mother in this entire world :) happy motherhood :)
Listening to you talk about breastfeeding is resonating with me. I wanted it to be so much easier than it was and I was so emotional over it. I was able to power through it but I wish someone would've warned me that it isn't as natural as it seems.
:( I'm sorry you didn't get better support
Sam thank you for making this video. With my first I completely underestimated the amount of pain I'd be in post birth. Ironically, with my second I prepared with enough supplies for a small war but barely used a thing. I think it's important for people to know what to expect and how to prepare if needed. Yes, labor is difficult but so is postpartum and it lasts a hell of a lot longer too!
I want to like this video way more than once! Becoming a mom is the craziest experience ever. It's so hard, and so easy, it's tough and amazing. If you haven't been through it you would never understand. Becoming a mom has shown me how much patience I have and how strong I am. Welcome to the other side.
Yes. Postpartum is the worst. Thank you for being REAL and honest. I felt myself saying “ohhh honey im so sorry” w the episiotomy and tearing. Had it too. Each potty trip took like 30 minutes for all of the sanitizing after. And then by then baby needs to feed again. Anyway you’re not alone.
Title of my baby book “Sleep when the baby sleeps and other advice that is nonsense”
👏👏👏
Please publish a sequel entitled “I do not miss any of the difficult phases that the old know-it-all’s said that I would”.
Yessss!!! Btw you and Rawbeautykristi normalizing talking about Postpartum! I am here for it. Felt the same. Labor scared me, but was not bad. Postpartum... lord... This whole video is so relatable. Thank you for talking about it!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼postpartum needs to be talked about more!!! Thank you!!!
100% agree with you about the importance of support when nursing! It was so hard to get it right.. it literally took me three months to get my baby to latch properly. Thank god for my husband and his kind words of encouragement during that time! Also, my girlfriend that nursed her two babies and gave me the best advice!
I fully understand. I’m so glad you had the proper support from that last nurse to keep encouraging you to breast feed since it was so important to you. The stuff you went through happened to me too. I’m so glad you survived that. Congratulations 🥳 your an absolutely champion mummy ❤️💕
I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second and wholeheartedly agree that postpartum and breastfeeding is something that needs to be talked about more! I feel like the only thing people talk about is the unhelpful "advice" like "Just you wait, if you think this is hard..." or "enjoy sleep now because you won't ever sleep again." Your experience has similarities with mine. I was completely naive about the physical and mental issues I'd experience with my first. I too had internal & external 2nd degree tears and because I hadn't slept at all for a solid 4 days, I experienced odd hallucinations/intrusive thoughts. Also, I thought breastfeeding would be easy, but after 3 weeks of feeling like a complete failure because I couldn't get my son to latch properly, I went to a lactation specialist and she helped me tremendously!
Lol I'm a labour and delivery nurse and the fact that for your first kid you went from not contracting often, to delivery in 8 hours is actually considered fast fast. Also we actually don't recommend witch hazel for healing episiotomies because a lot of people react to it badly and it doesn't help heal much
This was super helpful. Im about to pop with my first and I have zero idea what to expect. I also bought a bravado bra a month ago because someone else recommended it and fuck yeah! It rocks.
You are hilarious. I know that's not the point of this because you're speaking some real truths here but I just die when you explain stuff. Not a lot of people talk about this stuff and things that worked or didn't and just the wah you say it makes it so relatable.
This should be birth by Sam. You will be well educated. Crying at “failure” will continue.