I always admired your willingness to share intimate women’s health issues and how emotionally difficult it can be to navigate through it all. Thank you.
I’ve never had someone explain their depression in a way that resounds so much with mine. Putting things off which leads to putting all the things off? Yes. Isolating myself? Yep. Needing different validations on any given day? You bet. Sorry for the bummer? Also me anytime I talk to someone I feel comfortable with and know they won’t be scared. I love when you film these videos because it helps me feel so much less alone and strange for being sad.
It’s been 8 years since my last pap smear, I’m 28. I’ve put it off because I assumed if something was wrong I would feel it. I’m going to schedule it now. Thank you for being so open, Sam. Sending love and hugs
I’m the same. Although I’m 22 and never had one but I’ve got the same mentality. I love how this video has started a thread/ community and conversation. Sending love and health to you and Sam.
Same. I’m in my 40s and it’s been over 10 years since my last pap. Doc mentioned my cervix was thick; never had kids. Abnormal cells noted in the last pap. I didn’t want to go back to see if anything has changed and Ive had no issues. Calling and making an appt tomorrow.
Please don’t put the paps off (or the dentist). You don’t feel cervical cancer and if you do it could be too late. I had all the stuff done 25 yrs ago. The sample taken and the leep and the checkups. Never came back luckily. I’m almost 50 now. It’s not fun but cervical cancer is way worse. My friends have lost moms from it. Devastating. I’m not trying to scare you all but if it does and you get your paps regularly then its worth it! As scary as the unknown can be with these things catching it early is so crucial! I say these things out of care. Truly. No bad intentions. I am 10 years out from a total hysterectomy, from endometriosis, so I don’t need paps anymore thank goodness! I gotta say the hysterectomy was a godsend. Suffered with all the womanly things for so long. Miserable. Good news is when you get older they move the paps to every 3 yrs. which was great! Hoping all your appointments go well! Keep them up to date. You all got this!! ❤️
Echoing the now hundreds of women in the comments (you inspired that, ma'am) thank you for being so vulnerable and encouraging conversation of sexual health. EIGHTY percent of women will get HPV, we just get the shit end of the stick when it develops into abnormal or precancerous cells. I had the LEEP procedure done when I was 20, now 34, and all of my paps have been normal since. I cried and grieved any future reproductive normalcy, because at the time I thought that I wanted kids. I hope you've read the comments and have seen how many women have been on the same journey and gave birth to healthy children. Every single one of your feelings are so valid, just don't lose hope. Thank you for uniting so many women and opening up such important conversation. You're the real MVP, Sam. ❤️
I second all of what you said!! I had precancer cells detected on a pap smear when I was about 27. Went for 2 colposcopies and then finally a LEEP procedure around my 28th birthday. It was horrible to feel like I had to hide this from people....but eventually I opened up to my friends and told them about it and was surprised that at least two others had also gone through the same thing. I am now 33 years old and 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby - I have had no complications due to the LEEP/precancer cells, thank goodness, but had cervical checks to ensure it was ok throughout my pregnancy. I'm hoping everyone who watches this video and reads the comments know that while there are risks....if they catch it and they treat it, your chances at life and healthy future pregnancies are good!! We need to keep talking about this stuff!
I feel so much for all us women being to put up with so much and also with this HPV which if you have will almost turn into cancer!!! The only thing that relieves is that there is a way to protect ourselves and our children: VACCINE!!! Please have the shots now even if you're adults and please provide them to your children. The key is to have the vaccine done approximately 10 years before the first time of sexual intercourse. So this depends on your countries statistics on when the teenagers have their first sexual experience. Please do the research and have your children get the shots. Lots of love and compassion to anyone who suffer from HPV
@@FetDiB THIS! Also, the Gardasil 9 vaccine is approved for women up to 45 years old. It's a series of 3 vaccines and I just had mine last year. ❤️ I did it not only for myself and my history with HPV, but for my mom who is currently battling anal cancer as a result of HPV. Education and prevention are so important. SO thankful this discussion is still active.
I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and although our situations are different, a lot of what you said resonated so much with me and I feel a little less alone because of it. Thank you, Sam, as always for all you do.
I've had this same thing. I can't believe I'm seeing a public figure talk about this. Going through my first colposcopy and biopsy was the scariest thing I've gone through. Thankfully I'm almost clear *just need one more clear pap next year* but I'm still afraid. I haven't had kids yet and I'm terrified that this will affect everything.. Anyway, It's nice to hear you talking about this though. Makes us feel less alone. You are so brave and honest, Sam. I wish you nothing but the best.
Hang in there. I had to go every 6 months for years. I finally got to where I'm back to normal yearly paps. I've had 2 colposcopies. First one was traumatic. Hang in there. I hope you're next is clear so you can get back to less worry. 😊
I’ve been through the same. It was one of the scariest experiences. I had two children after that. My first pregnancy was very difficult but I had no issue with my cervix. I just needed transvaginal ultrasounds until I was six months pregnant to make sure my cervix was holding strong. I didn’t require bed rest but only because though my cervix was thin after the leep procedure it held the baby without issue. I know not everyone’s experience is the same but I wish you both the very best and good health.
Thank you all so much!!! It really eases my mind to hear success stories from all of you. I appreciate your kind words more than you know ! I wish you all the best and hope you have happy holidays 🥰🥰🥰
It’s okay to cry and grieve the loss of having a plan not turn out the way you thought it would, and the way you wanted it to go. Don’t ever minimize your pain, you’re completely valid in feeling how you do❤️ Wishing you all the best with your upcoming surgery!
I literally can’t imagine how like violently furious I would be if I was getting a biopsy as a BRAND new mom and having the tech or nurse or whatever mock me for not returning a phone call whose intended outcome will be a stranger hole punching my cervix. What the fresh hell
I thought the same! Then I also thought she is probably desensitized because of all the bad she has seen from cervical cancer so she might not care if she hurts someone’s feelings. Maybe idk but still very rude and probably doesn’t make going to get the checkups any easier when the tech is a total a-hole.
@@hanr7488 You complain about the nurse being rude to sam but it's okay for you? The nurse was right. Sam should've made her health a priority. Pap smears are important. Calling back can save your fucking life
@@juliettagrey6678 I’m a nurse… yes paps save lives, but that doesn’t excuse treating a scared and vulnerable new mother that way. Still wasn’t okay. It’s not about the nurse being “right” or not, Sam knows she needs to prioritize her health, she doesn’t need to be scolded.
Whenever I cry and the immediately apologize my therapist says don’t apologize for being vulnerable. And here I am to tell you the same. You have a right to feel and express every emotion you are going through in any given moment.
Cried while watching this. So much love to you Sam. You are an amazing mama and you are going to do this procedure, you will heal and have a healthy pregnancy again someday ✨ Sending you all the good vibes ❤️
It's happening just as I said it would...the healing phase of being "scared to death" is pneumonia, aka "flu". So as people are released from the solitary confinement of their homes (because of media and government lies based on the fraudulent Germ Theory), and people begin to get happy and feel less stressed, the result will be the healing phase....of pneumonia, flu, colds, general sickness. You can also see the light sensitivity, appendicitis in some, numerous tooth problems and gum swelling, laryngitis, etc. The fear campaign has caused ALL the illnesses, not a Boogey Virus. Every disease is based on the Germ Theory, which was the theory of ONE man over 100 years ago. It was never proven to be 100% valid, and has not even been QUESTIONED again. Why? In order for a theory to be valid, it must be reproduceable in each and every person 100% of the time. Every single person exposed to a "virus" MUST get sick from it 100% of the time, over and over again. It's how you PROVE a theory is valid. This was never done. Scientists used to think witches and witchcraft were valid!! Educated people?? hahaha!! If you cannot "catch" cancer, arthritis or diabetes from another person, then you cannot "catch" a cold or flu. There is no such thing that only SOME diseases are communicable, but not all. It's either all or none of them...they are all based on the same Germ Theory. If you can't “catch" someone's lung cancer, you can't "catch" their colds or flu. Upsetting and distressing events in a person's life is what causes ALL cancer and cancer-equivalent disease, cold, flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. A massive fear campaign will CAUSE people to be "worried sick", but sickness doesn't happen until people resolve their fears. Why do you think kids get sick in October? Because their fear of going back to school and being upset about it finally dissolves, and they get back into their routines. What the media and government is doing to people is criminal. So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and the corrupt governments will call it a different “scary” word, a different Boogey Man coming to get you.....repeat the same mistakes that never worked from the beginning, re-institute the same restrictions that only made people more traumatized, and more panic will ensue as well as martial law, a removal of all your rights, and you let it happen. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it. Welcome to the United States of China.
I started giggling SO BAD when you started talking about ruining the rare plant market. I have probably around 100 uncommon Hoyas that I've collected over the last decade and I make props of them and then give them away on local plant boards. It's seriously the best thing ever and I have met a ton of cool people doing it. Right now I am selling a bunch for cheap and then donating all the funds to a local organization that helps feral cats. Fuck horticultural capitalism. Love, Fellow Plant Pirate
Morgan, I didn’t know what I was feeling until you just identified articulated it so beautifully. ‘Fuck horticultural capitalism.’ If you put that on a T-shirt, I’d buy it. Keeping being a bad bitch. Blessings, Hattie
Sam! I had stage 4 something HPV when I was 18. I got the 3 Gardisil shots after finding this out. I got the leap procedure done and it hurt but you are strong and can absolutely get through this!! After having the leap procedure done all paps came back 100% normal. I had a healthy 9 pound baby boy when I was 29 so now he’s 4 and I’m 33 but all is well and baby was fully cooked 41.5 weeks I went! Way past due!! Everyone is different tho but I hope this can be some hope to you! 🧡🧡 I know you’ll be ok! Trust your docs and lean on your family and Matt!
LEEP is known to cause issues with future pregnancy so it not without risk. But your health comes first! I was diagnosed with CIN1 prior to pregnancy and hoping and praying it clears after I give birth to these twins.
I had a very similar thing happen to me, and I was so frustrated with my mother who apparently forgot (??) to get me the shots. So glad things worked out for you, so far *knock on wood* so good
Sam, I hope nobody tells you “it isn’t a big deal”. Anything about your own health is always a big deal. Sure, people can compare their situation to yours, but that doesn’t make YOURS not a big deal to YOU ❤️
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 👉 YT.SV/MY'LOVESTORY'HERE 💜 PRIVATE S*X I NEED A LARGE PENILLET 💜 #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). . !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
I've been following you for YEARS Sam, like.. at least 7 or 8 years at this point. Throughout your time on social media, I've really gravitated to your personality type being vastly different from other beauty influencers. I feel more connected to you than others, I feel comforted by the way you speak to your audience and I just enjoy you overall as a person. We went into motherhood fairly close together. My daughter is now 16 months and I feel like I've never had anyone quite explain the emotional rollercoaster that is pregnancy quite like you just did. I too felt this overwhelming anxiety surrounding pregnancy and birth, constantly creating these scenarios in my head that would more often than not be the worst possible ones you could think of. And of course, that got even worse after birth dealing with PP anxiety/depression. I know you've got this amazing community of followers that come here for beauty content, but just remember that many of us found you at a similar age, similar areas in our life and now we're all growing into adults so many of us are also parents too. I've really appreciated you sharing more of your journey with pregnancy and motherhood because it's a more personal side of you that we don't always get to see. It's so rare to find people as authentic and genuine as you to engage in content like this. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate these raw and emotional videos from you.
I love how you worded all of this and was blown away by this realization of moving along through life on similar paths just due to age and generations. I was crying right along with her like she's my actual good friend. ❤
As someone who have experienced sexual assault it is fucking horrible to have HPV changes and all the surgery. And some doctors are really rude in regards to this very delicate problem. I got all the vaccines but still got it. I am sorry for your experience, but I am grateful that you share it with us. Sending lots of love and support!
I have watched you since 2014, batalash days. I’m currently 19 minutes into this video and crying because I can literally see the pain in your eyes and I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I messaged you on Instagram back in March of this year after I found out I was pregnant because it was exciting to me to have your content to follow along with as you navigated your pregnancy. I have endometriosis and adenomyosis and really feared I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, so I was over the moon. I then found out I miscarried at the end of April, and had an ectopic in July and now have no idea what the future holds. It’s an intense pain and it’s real and it’s valid. My cousin went through something similar. You WILL have more babies. WE will have our babies. And your business will thrive. We are strong, even when we are scared. I know nothing about you as a mother but I have no doubt that you are a wonderful one. We all love you and are rooting for you.
This is SO important. All of it. Covering reproductive healthcare, STI-related health risks, mental health, investing in self-care maintenance, and the reality of balancing being a parent, partner, friend, business owner, and whole human. Thank you for sharing your cervical circumstances. When I was 11 I received my first dose of Gardasil, a vaccine that prevents most types of HPV - most notably the strains of HPV most commonly linked to causing cervical cancer. It’s not a fail safe, but another example of how vital vaccines are. Especially for women, as our healthcare is stigmatized and threatened on a regular basis ON TOP OF being disregarded and neglected in funding, resources, and over all societal importance. I feel extra proud being a fan of yours. THANK YOU for your vulnerability and strength, reminding us all to take care of ourselves so we can do everything we want in life. Dabbing some auric shadow to elevate a look while being a glowy hoe on the daily with glowlust… I feel like I’m empowering everything you do too. I know it’s near impossible as a fellow anxiety ridden depressive perfectionist… but for FUCKS sake, be kind to yourself. Acknowledging your privilege while not forcing yourself to suffer under the weight of societal pressure. You are a fucking rockstar. I totally used this comment as a journal entry to empower myself so, multitasking yay. Love you Sam.
Yes to all of this! Especially about how women's healthcare is stigmatized, villainized, and neglected. Also, can we all agree that her ex is an absolute trashbag?? People like him are the reason I am so grateful I chose to get vaxxed against HPV right before the cutoff age where insurance wouldn't pay for it anymore-- 27! So much older than Sam was when she was first exposed.
I feel like no one has mentioned how absolutely hilarious your titles and thumbnails are. Like, gallows humour 14/10. Your “experience with depression” one is maybe one of my favourites of all time. As someone who deals with heartbreak and tragedy by making very, very dark jokes about it all, I appreciate being able to laugh/cry with you with my whole, sick, twisted soul. So very cash money of you, Sam.
I feel like I’m looking in a mirror watching myself. All this happened to me too. You’ll have more kids, Sam. Your baby was born healthy while you had this condition but didn’t know about it. I’ve had a leep. Precancerous cells. Its not pleasant but you’ll get through it. Little one will have as many little siblings as you want. I was able to give birth to healthy twins. It’s ok to be scared. Sending love and light. Know that we love you and respect your need for breaks.
Sam, please don’t apologize for crying or tearing, or call yourself over emotional. Ever. I’m tearing up listening to your story, as (I’m sure like many of the ladies), I’m going through a similar issue. And we thank you for sharing! I know we’re only typing on a screen, but we are here for you, even though we can’t be there in person. What your feeling is VALID, your emotions are VALID, you received some pretty upsetting news, I feel like we’d all react the same way (I did too). We love you! And we’re channeling super positive and loving vibes! ❤️🌷
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This to me seems like a grieving period. You've lost something you thought you were going to have. Feeling sad and depressed because of this lost experience is so human and devastating. I think it's great you can share it on here. We love you and are here for you. However you need our support, w'e'll be here. I'm sending you so so so much love.
One thing I’ve really found helps when talking to safe/trusted people is letting them know what you need, ie I need to vent I don’t want solutions right now, or I want to problem solve or I need some reassurance. That way it doesn’t cause hurt when expressing something, it’s met how you need in that moment
Oh sweet girl- this is scary and I'm sorry you're going through it. I had a LEEP in July 19 and got pregnant in Sept 19... had a ton of vaginal ultrasounds, but that was the main difference. I was lucky enough to carry my bean to full term and I pray for the same for you down the line! .....also, a great reminder to give my gyno a call, because it has been a minute. Thanks, as always, for being so candid with us. xx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 👉 YT.SV/MY'LOVESTORY'HERE 💜 PRIVATE S*X I NEED A LARGE PENILLET 💜 #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). . !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
I had a leep too and I was told I couldn't have sex for a while after the procedure and also couldn't get pregnant for at least a year afterwards so it could fully heal. It took a few months for my cervix to fully grow back and I had a lot of pains in my cervix for a while after having the procedure. I'm so glad everything went well, but wouldn't it be bad to put pressure on the cervix after a procedure like that? Before it has fully healed?
@@sarahyork11 you would think but whoops! Haha. They basically measured it every time I went in, especially at the beginning, to check and make sure it wasn’t getting too thin (for lack of a clinical term). And there’s also a procedure they can do to put a stitch in to help prevent preterm labor but I ended up not needing y it
@@tsimmons6964 oh yes, a cerclage. I'm so glad you didn't need one. It's great they measured you so often. I was terrified that I would get cervical incompetence. At my anatomy scan I made sure it wasn't too short or dilated. But it was fine the whole time. I was surprised my Dr wasn't at all worried about it. Maybe it's not super common after leeps.
I wasn't expecting such a deep video based on the title and thumbnail and I think it is really brave of you to be so open and vulnerable after people have been so critical of your littlest moves in the past. i am rooting for you and hoping for the best. there is no other youtuber i'd rather have a parasocial relationship with
I have also had tests on my cervix and was told I'm at risk for cervical cancer and problems, so you coming out to tell your experience is so helpful because I feel so much less alone. I hope you can find comfort and healing! ❤
I'm high risk. I went every 6 months for paps for years. Until a couple years ago now I'm finally back to 1 year intervals. 😊 Just hang in there because you're not alone.
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I went through the exact same situation verbatim to you and I’m here to tell you I have since had three additional beautiful healthy babies that all went to term and everything with great during pregnancy as well! It’s absolutely normal and ok to have the feelings you do sending you much love, good vibes and prayers girl you’re amazing!! 🥰
I'm sorry that you're struggling but I'm always so impressed by how casually inclusive you always are. It's just wonderful. I hope things get easier for you soon ♡ edit: I just finished watching the whole video and, wow Sam, what a rollercoaster. I'm not even going through all of that and my emotions were all over the place, so there's no need for you to apologize for crying. It must be so shattering to receive that news. I know you've likely thought about this before, but if you ever choose to supplement your income with Patreon, I would sign up immediately. You should absolutely do what is necessary for you to be able to be happy and satisfied, even if other people disagree with your methods. Crossing my digits that your procedures go smoothly and thank you for keeping us updated on your life. I know you don't have to and that sometimes you get criticized for it, but these videos are important and I appreciate them a lot
I’ve had the LEEP procedure twice due to precancerous cells found on my PAP smear. Both times it confirmed what I had was not cancer. But damn it was so scary and I didn’t tell anyone but I should have. I’m sorry you’re going through this Sam.
Sam, you are a true gem on youtube and I (selfishly) hope you never stop producing content, but especially content like this. Life kicks everyone in the fkn teeth. It is lonely and scary to navigate something like this, and I am so sorry you're going through it. I applaud your honesty and raw reactions so so much. Sending you all the prayers and good vibes and positive affirmations to help get you through!
Literally went through the same thing. I was distraught when my Gynae insinuated that my partner might have been unfaithful. It caused months of fights and distrust. Only to find out that it was actually my ex partner who had been unfaithful. I never did regular Pap smears, so it was hard to tell at first. But after seeing a second Gynae, he explained to me that the progression of the cells from low grade to high grade takes a long time. All in all it was a horrible experience. The stigma that comes with it is almost just as damaging as the disease itself. I still remember my mother in law making remarks on how HPV is something that only “dirty” people get with a “lack of morals”. I think it’s amazing that you’re talking about this, I can tell you now if this video came across my feed a year ago, it would’ve made such a big difference in my mental health.
I have been following you for a few years now, and I have to say, you’ve curated a following of the brightest, most emotionally intelligent and empathetic femmes. And it’s because you are one of them. Thank you, once again, for being real. You make people feel real.
Oh Sam, when your eyes welled up my tears started to fall. I'm not a mom and won't be, but as a woman, I felt your pain. Thanks for sharing with us. Stay strong love, we're all here for you xxoo
I’m just gonna repeat what everybody in the comments already said : Thank You so much because every time you talk about something I feel less alone. Not only because I know someone else is going through it as well, more so because someone else is going through the same feelings, questions, doubts and all that good shit than me. That is the reason why I still go back so much to your (more or less old) videos and the podcast. It goes without saying but it doesn’t cost anything to say it anyway; I’m so so so sorry you are going through this. I really strongly hope that everything will be just fine physically and mentally, so that you find or create the most suitable way for you and your family to have everything you guys want.
Thank you for talking about this. It affects so many of us, I contracted HPV from a partner and the phrase "abnormal cells" and "colposcopy" still fly through my head at every annual appointment. It's scary enough to go through pregnancy and then having that loom over you is just not trill. It's ok to cry about what all of the implications might mean, and to worry. Take time for your health and be kind to yourself. We love you, Sam.
Sam, one of my good friends had the same level of pre-cancer on her cervix and had to have a Leep procedure, as well. She went on to have 2 beautiful girls (2 pregnancies) and worked during both. Not everyone is the same but many people go on to have healthy, normal pregnancies and I pray you do, too! I suffer with anxiety and spent my whole pregnancy riddled with fear so I can relate. You’re a great person and mom and whatever happens, you’ll handle it like the boss you are!
I'm so glad that you are talking about this because it's so much more common than people realize and yet no one discusses it. Two of my close friends have had almost identical situations. You are such a badass for your transparency, and you are helping more people than you probably realize. Sending you the most will wishes ever. 😘
Sending you hugs and positive energy during this difficult time. I am OBGYN and would really like to reassure you that pregnancies post LEEP generally have great outcomes and I have never asked someone to stay on bed rest simply because of previous LEEP.
I’m so proud of you for telling the world what you have been going through. After people were crazy about your baby I really thought you would just shut down and only talk about makeup (which is totally fine). So I was surprised, but pleasantly. I love your videos. Thank you for still making them!
It’s really fucking unfair that you have to go through this, Sam. I’m really pissed for you. I’m sending you positive vibes and I hope the procedure goes well and you find some peace. Love you.
Sam, I really cannot explain just how much I appreciate you making this video. I have pre-cancerous cells at 25. I'm going for my second colposcopy next month and I'm scared of being told the cells have developed. I've never heard anyone talk about this before and it feels like I'm going through it alone and that's terrifying to me. Knowing that I'm not alone and hearing your experience makes me feel so much more comfortable and brave going into my appointments which are usually so uncomfortable and intimidating. Thank you for talking about difficult topics. Thank you for starting these conversations. Thank you for being open with us. Your conversations on mental health have always resonated with me and I've always been able to relate so I've found those so helpful, and now talking about this new topic has been so helpful for me too. Just thank you. Thank you so much for everything you do.
I went through the whole abnormal cell/biopsy/LEEP process when I was 25. It was emotionally and physically exhausting. You’re not alone ❤️ On another note, this video was absolutely wonderful. I laughed, I cried, and I was inspired by your makeup! You’re wonderful Sam!
The Dr. you have for the biopsy matters so much! I’ve had two. One hurt so bad, I almost puked, like sweating, crying, about to pass out. And I’m a tuff ass B! The second was my amazing gyno that I still see and it did not hurt nearly as bad. He talked me thru it, counted to 3, had me cough at the time he did the little snip. Made a world of difference!
Thank you for trusting us with this information. As a new mom of a four month old, also my first, your videos about motherhood and birth and pregnancy have really impacted me in a good way because you are honest. I have had so many “ah, yes, exactly” moments in listening to you. Much love and peace through this trial. Your life is filled with love
I’ve had the same experience where the doctor claimed I “ghosted” them.. as medical professionals they should be WAY more empathetic about how scary and triggering it is for people to go to the doctors.
Seriously-I’m so used to doctors being so shitty about this that a few months ago I apologized nearly in tears to my psychiatrist for forgetting to make my next appointment, even though I wasn’t out of my medication, and he went “………..you have adhd. And you’re busy. It’s very very normal to put these things off”. Great doc
Imagine if docs approached us with empathy instead? I know the doctor was probably concerned, by berating someone isn't likely to get a positive result.
Thanks for talking about this, Sam. I found out I have high-risk HPV this year, from a previous partner. I was heartbroken. I thought it was so shameful and disgusting, until I read that nearly 3/4 of people get HPV. We need to talk about it more & remove the stigma. I never knew how common it was and that it REALLY is nothing to be ashamed about!
Right! Most people have HPV at some point, and the kind that cause cell changes don’t even cause warts, so you wouldn’t ever know until a pap/smear test.
Sam, my heart breaks for you. I had a full hysterectomy 2 years ago from stage 3 Cervical Cancer caused by HPV. I put it off like you and ended up with stage 3. Please don’t put it off. I had the LEEP procedure 3 times and still ended up having to have hysterectomy. I don’t want to further scare you but please don’t wait. Sending you hugs and prayers 💕
I'm about to get looked at for this reason. It hit me within recent years how many past partners had cheated on me or just had a very high possibility of having an STI. That responsibility needs to play into how my life is going to go this year, and it's time to step up with taking accountability. You are brave for facing it. I was a fan of this singer named Sarah Harding from a UK girl band, and she passed away last September after having stage 4 breast cancer with a horrific speedy growth that was extremely rare. She only had about a year and a half to live from first discovering her first lump.
Typical mom struggle: I'm watching this at 3AM in the dark nursing my own baby. You're so right on with the absolute time struggle for moms, let alone working moms. I'm so sorry that this has happened and now you have this mental and emotional weight on you. My prayers are with you. As a mom, it can easily feel like no matter what, our decisions and actions are wrong. Truth is, if we put love into each decision we make, it's the best we can do at the time. And that's all any of us can really do. ❤
Thank you for being open about what’s going on. You are not obligated to tell us anything about your personal life but you choose to do so regardless. I hope that we can lift you up in anyway possible. I’ll be thinking about you and praying for your health in the future.
I know you don’t come back to your comments often but I just have to express how proud of you I am, Sam. I’ve watched you for almost your entire UA-cam career and it has been such a pleasure to watch you learn, grow, and move through the struggles in life. You’re a gem and I hope you know how loved and cherished you are. ❤️
This happened to me like 15 years ago. I went and did everything alone. Did not tell anyone because i was so ashamed. Im so happy women can support each other now and be open and honest and thank you for sharing ❤️
I did the same thing. Went through everything alone not because I was ashamed but simply because I thought I didn’t need the support…I was very wrong about that. I don’t think that I realized the seriousness of the whole situation because I was quite young. That’s why I appreciate people talking about it as much as they can. Knowledge is power!
Appreciate your openness around this- it will help people with cervixes seek care when needed and people with similar struggles feel less alone. You’re funny af and talented at makeup, but also a wonderful open and real contrast to a lot of social media. 🖤
Even though we don't know you in real life (as actual friends), I'm glad that you find any amount of comfort in coming online to talk to us about serious issues, and the huge amount of good you're doing for someone else watching this who really needs this right now... or in the future. 🙏 I applaud you and your willingness to talk. This topic suddenly gave me a flashback to the 2000s, because it reminded me that I was in one of the earliest batches of young women that received the 3 doses of the HPV shot. It was fully covered by health insurance (in Australia), but I don't know if this is prevalent in many other places. I hope this video you've made also serves as a good reminder for everyone to go see a doctor and have your health checked, in whichever way it is accessible to you. This one anonymous person here would also love to give you a hug Sam.
Thank you for talking about this. This happened to me earlier this year. I actually went into my OBGYN to get my IUD removed and my doctor was like, “oh let’s go ahead and get your annual pap” Cool, whatever, 2 birds, one stone and all that. I think nothing of it honestly. A few weeks later, I get a call from a random nurse who tells me that I had abnormal results and needed to come in. Instant panic. (Honestly this nurse totally made me think I had cancer, which is a different story, but it was incredibly terrifying. I started picturing my daughter growing up without me. It was traumatic.) Anyways I do not have cancer but i did have to have a colposcopy and discovered I have precancerous cells, also from HPV (which I didn’t know I had ever had before that point). I also had to have them lasered off like that you mentioned, which was more uncomfortable than I expected. Anyways the whole time, I was terrified and I was embarrassed. I felt dirty and scared and I didn’t know anyone personally who had experienced this situation. It was just a lot. I cried a lot. And I felt very alone and very scared. Ok this is longer than I anticipated (thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol) but this just really really resonated with me so I just wanted to say thank you for talking about this.
I’m with you girl, I had this start last year too and I have another colp next week. I was not at all prepared for the pain and discomfort of the biopsy and went to the doctor thinking it would be nothing. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but I felt weird emptiness and discomfort for months and months after the first biopsy. I recovered just in time for my next abnormal pap
The way you described how your mind works and thinks and functions has made me realize my husband is the same way and he hasn't been able to put how he is into words. You just helped me so much in understanding his thought processes and feelings so thank you. You don't know how long I've been struggling to understand him. You're amazing Sam, I love you. ❤ hope your health continues to heal and I wish you all of my love and support for Auric. (:
1-its TOTALLY COOL TO BE SAD about the female health issue. You're doing great and it will be ok. (Things that I've needed to hear learning to cope with female health issues) 2- I love the plant anarchy! Yes, I have had similar thoughts on the matter and a bumpin discord about plants would be great! 3- you're the best Sam! Love my "Sam-fixs" and always look forward to your videos
Dear Sam and her cervix, you can do this. I know it's cliche, but we all need reminded sometimes - it will be OK. You will figure things out and roll with the punches. A second professional opinion is worth getting, always! I also had to have a LEAP procedure in my 20's. I ended up getting pregnant at 30 years old, was addicted to opioids, and went through severe withdrawal for the first 4 months of pregnancy. I was miserable most of my pregnancy, but it was manageable. I was induced 2 weeks early because at my last non-stress test her heart rate kept going up and down. She was only 5lb 8oz! Needed a little extra care the first few days after she was born but was out of the hospital within 6 days and has been great ever since. Nothings ever really written in stone, until it's all over. You're a strong gal.. And I appreciate you being vulnerable and open. I've been depressed and lethargic lately, and was especially so after giving birth. It's super hard having a little one even in the best of situations, so feeling down and disconnected while taking care of a little one is the worst. I hope you're able to practice some self-care and relax a little. Hope your holidays are great and warm wishes 😊
Hey Sam, something I wish I would’ve been told when going I was going through health problems is that whatever is “worst case scenario” does not mean that everything won’t be okay. I went to the ER with a UTI thinking I would get some antibiotics and be fine, but they told me things had gotten a little complicated. I told myself that in the “worst case scenario,” I would need to have one of my kidneys removed (long story short, that’s what ended up happening). I was terrified, of course, but that was a year ago and I’m okay. That’s what I hope you’re able to tell yourself when it gets hard. “Everything will be okay” seems to imply that nothing is wrong, which makes it really annoying to hear when things are definitely wrong. But even so, even if “worst case scenario” happens, you’ll still be okay.
Your feelings are 1000 per cent valid. I’ve been in the pap/colposcopy cycle for over two years and with another appointment coming up I completely understand all those what ifs and worst case scenarios about your health and future pregnancies. Best of luck with the LEEP, keeping you in my thoughts.
Oh Sam… talking about cancer (even pre-cancer) is so damn hard. My pre-cancer has turned into real cancer so i fully understand how hard it is to put this in the world. Remember that even if things are different than you planned, it can still be beautiful. Personally I’ll need to use a surrogate and as mad as i was at first, accepting it feels good. Maybe this is a lesson in letting yourself rest and self care. 🤍
I’m so glad you talk about these things . I have to get smears done every 6 months as I have hpv so I have this fear every time I go . You are so brave and inspiring honestly!
I feel so heart broken for you. I am going through these exact same stages and issues and I have never seen someone else talk about it and understand it. Thank you
My heart broke a hundred times watching you hurting 💔 your emotions are so valid, and I can only imagine how scary this has been for you. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, you are truly an amazing woman and mother
Sending love.... Cry all you want be mad all you want what you are experiencing is overwhelming I would feel the same way...I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and it's hard I can't imagine doing all you do as well....your super mom and I'm praying for good health and peace of mind ❤️
Sam, I’ve followed you for years now. I did wild makeup with you in my twenties. I was actually pregnant the same time you were, also with my first baby. I just wanted to say that I hear and support you. Your feelings are valid, whatever they are on a given day. And you are an amazing mom, business owner, and woman.
Colposcopies suck and they are not great if you are with an unpleasant doctor too. I had one in 2020 and was supposed to have one in 2021 but I had massive anxiety because I had a really shitty doctor then. I found another doctor and when I got to the appointment, they told me I didn’t need to have one until this year (2022) I would have loved to have a nicer doctor sooner and they changed the guidelines so the doctor who I was originally scheduled with scared me for no reason. I definitely recommend getting regular paps, but delivering these types of diagnosis or recommending these more invasive tests should be done in a more empathetic way. Thank you for sharing this! People act weird if you bring this up.
You are doing a great job Sam. Your giving everything you can to every job you have. Even if you can’t give as much as you once could, you are giving as much as you can now. That’s something to be extremely proud of. You always deserve time to yourself and a mental timeout.
Casually clicking in and out of the video because I'm not emotionally prepared for Sam's tears because I have watched her videos since literally day one and I have so much respect and love for her passion and overall life. Sending you so much love during the health struggles. You deserve the absolute best 💜
Hey Sam. I had a LEEP procedure done several years ago and I really really hear everything you’re saying. All of it. Sending you a big hug from a fellow Vancouverite.
I really appreciate this. As a pregnant person with their first child. I have felt so many of the things you have described. Look after yourself and keep doing what you are doing because it's important and so helpful
Sam, thank you for talking about this. I had 2 colposcopy procedures and a LEEP after HPV and high grade precancerous cells that turned into adenocarcinoma. After the LEEP, I had paps every 6 months for 2 years until they came back clear. I never knew how common these procedures are until I became comfortable to talk about them with my coworkers….turns out multiple of them had had similar experiences! Thank you for always talking about women’s health and making it less taboo.
It breaks my heart to see you suffering, Sam. You’re very strong and your feelings are so valid: YOU ARE SO BRAVE!! Everything is gonna be okay 💖 I love you
Girl so many women struggle with this. You're definitely helping by speaking on this. Awww HUGS Sam ❤️ I'm going to burn some herbs and send healing you're way. I struggle with stage 4 endometriosis. I can't have kids because of it and the pain is debilitating at times. Sex is painful as well. You are not alone boo ❤️
Ok, brand new to your channel. Your menstrual cup videos got me through getting the damn regular saalt cup out of my vagina today. Holy hell. That was not fun. However, I then saw a plant video, which is my main UA-cam material and of course she more about cervix and clicked here. Just wanted to send you so love and empathy. I had a health scare which really had me kicking myself for not getting in sooner, but I too had lots going on. I hate that the lady you saw said that to you. I had a lady ream me when I got lost going to my biopsy. I cried through the whole procedure and then got the scary call the next day confirming what was probably fine was certainly not. So many worries come during challenges with our health. Lean on those support systems. Sending you well wishes to get you through this time. ❤
sending you a TREMENDOUS amount of love from Northern California. And my mum's family is from Vancouver, so they're sending you love too that should arrive sooner (because it has less distance to traverse). Also I just (lovingly) yelled at all my friends to go get their Pap smears done.
Sam thank you SO much for sharing this. I’ve had two colposcopies with biopsies in the past year and I just scheduled my first LEEP procedure for January 2022. I’ve felt so scared and alone & even ashamed. I’ve been wondering how it would affect any future pregnancies and it’s been such a relief to hear someone else speak about it 💜 dont apologize about tearing up because I started crying too lol
I never comment on UA-cam videos and I've been watching you for YEARS. Please do not ever apologize for being a human being. You've always been a breath of fresh air. Social media has so so so many faults but you are not one of them. You're stellar and you're so welcomed to cry on here and vent. Society NEEDS more of this. Desperately. Keep on doing 100 what you're doing. It is damn near vital. Thank you Sam you are doing an amazing job and you are doing so much more for moms and the beauty community. More than you know❤❤ Ps. Rare plant market.. you're a few years late on that like 3... and honestly it's not the healthiest market. Do some research it's quite sad. But I fully support having plants but depression and plants is also a thing. Do what makes you feel good. Not overwhelmed!
It's okay to mourn expectations falling through. This is all scary and shocking. Please let everyone around you hold you up, emotionally, physically... allow yourself some grace while you navigate these feelings and changes. ♡
I was diagnosed with stage 3 HPV and I did ALL of the shots prior to this and it still didn't help. Still having to wait to see if it progresses to cancer or not... I felt alone and somehow a failure as I've always had safe sex, have been in a monogamous relationship for 9-years and come to find out he could be the carrier this whole time and all of a sudden has a flare up and now I have it to transfer on. I immediately went to the negative thoughts and the crazy anxiety that came with the diagnosis and when I tell you how open my friends and co-workers were about this when I got the news... it's much more common than we are taught/told and I am so unbelievably sorry that you are going through this but I am also unbelievably grateful that you spoke out about this so I don't feel so alone or isolated for something that tons of women struggle with daily. Just like miscarriage, there's a stigma to talking about this as if it's an STD that we contracted from being promiscuous and unsafe, that is so far from the case for most of us and yet we still feel the shame and guilt and anxiety that follows. You are one of the strongest women I have gotten to know and love online and even though I haven't met you in real life, I feel closer to you now more than ever. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave for the rest of us to have a platform to confide in each other with. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS BECAUSE WOMEN ARE THE STRONGEST MOST RESILIENT BEINGS ON EARTH! Much love to you and your growing family
Once again, I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable in front of millions of random strangers on the internet. You're making women feel less alone in their journies. Appreciate you Sam ❤
Girl, I swear we have more in common than you know! I’ve had the colposcopy, precancerous cells, the loop, miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, a laparoscopy, a preemie and I am Canadian (Alberta girl) to boot. I know exactly your fears, anxiety and stress…every part! Your feelings are so valid and if you want to ask me anything at all, message me. I now have 2 healthy kids and somehow, I survived all of the shit that I had to go through to get them. It’s so fucking hard to deal with so much! Being a new mom, not knowing what the hell you are doing, the hormonal swings, the baby blues, previous anxiety and depression issues, etc. It’s like being on a mind fuck roller coaster!!! It is crazy hard and it feels like you are alone in all of it because it is your body that is failing you, or so it seems. You are not alone. Surely we are not the only ones to have had to walk such a shitty path, although knowing that doesn’t make it any less difficult when you are on the path. Sam, you are so brave to talk about this on a public forum and to get it out. Burying the pain is awful and not talking about it is the worst thing that you can do. I did that and let me tell you, big fucking mistake. It made everything worse. I had insanely bad post partum depression that is was debilitating. Don’t minimize what you are dealing with. This is a lot of shit for one person to take! It’s scary as hell and you need to keep the dialogue going or it will eat away at you. You are such a badass bitch and I have admired you for years for talking about your mental health, your vulnerability is amazing and it reaches others who suffer with mental health struggles. They know that they are not alone in this world because of what you share. It’s our turn to help you and let you know that we hear you. We’ve got you! You’re one incredible woman and I truly hope that you know that. Stay strong my Canadian sister! Keep us posted on how you are doing so we can support you! We are here, we are with you❤️.
Thanks for talking about this. I’m on my 5th year of being HPV+ and having abnormal paps. Everyone I talk to and everywhere I look online makes it sound like I’m a complete freak of nature but according to your video and this comment section I am not alone! I make a point to tell everyone with kids to get their children vaccinated against HPV so they don’t have to go through this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t tell you everything will be fine but by the looks of this comment section it sounds like you can be pretty optimistic. ❤️
It's crazy because it's super common. I know so many people who have had abnormal cells and people who have had a leep too. But yeah I had HPV for about 5 years too. Went away for a bit and then came back and got a leep. But I had no problems getting pregnant. Actually just had twins.
@@alyson_l27 yes! About 75% of people get it but most clear it within a year or two. A lot of people never even know they have it. They act like it’s extremely rare to have it over 2 years but I’m starting to think it’s more common than we think. And I agree. I think we all need to talk about STDs more because there’s so much I learned about HPV that I didn’t know before becoming positive. Oh btw for whoever is reading this- they raised the age limit of who can get the hpv vaccine! I think they raised it to 45
Sam, please ask your doctor about a “cervical cerclage” procedure for your next pregnancy. it can help prevent preterm labor in a pregnancy where the cervix is compromised! It could be a possibility for you with the concern of cervical incompetence. Best of luck, you’re doing amazing ❤️
I always admired your willingness to share intimate women’s health issues and how emotionally difficult it can be to navigate through it all. Thank you.
I’ve never had someone explain their depression in a way that resounds so much with mine. Putting things off which leads to putting all the things off? Yes. Isolating myself? Yep. Needing different validations on any given day? You bet. Sorry for the bummer? Also me anytime I talk to someone I feel comfortable with and know they won’t be scared.
I love when you film these videos because it helps me feel so much less alone and strange for being sad.
very true
I agree 100%!
Exactly!
Could not of said it any better. So true. Hugs
Same 100%. ❤️
It’s been 8 years since my last pap smear, I’m 28. I’ve put it off because I assumed if something was wrong I would feel it. I’m going to schedule it now. Thank you for being so open, Sam. Sending love and hugs
I’m the same. Although I’m 22 and never had one but I’ve got the same mentality. I love how this video has started a thread/ community and conversation. Sending love and health to you and Sam.
Yeah, mine was dormant for 7 years and had no idea until the cells turned bad
Same. I’m in my 40s and it’s been over 10 years since my last pap. Doc mentioned my cervix was thick; never had kids. Abnormal cells noted in the last pap. I didn’t want to go back to see if anything has changed and Ive had no issues. Calling and making an appt tomorrow.
Please get checked regularly! It's definitely worth it. As uncomfortable as it is. You have way better odds of catching it early.
Please don’t put the paps off (or the dentist). You don’t feel cervical cancer and if you do it could be too late. I had all the stuff done 25 yrs ago. The sample taken and the leep and the checkups. Never came back luckily. I’m almost 50 now. It’s not fun but cervical cancer is way worse. My friends have lost moms from it. Devastating. I’m not trying to scare you all but if it does and you get your paps regularly then its worth it! As scary as the unknown can be with these things catching it early is so crucial! I say these things out of care. Truly. No bad intentions.
I am 10 years out from a total hysterectomy, from endometriosis, so I don’t need paps anymore thank goodness! I gotta say the hysterectomy was a godsend. Suffered with all the womanly things for so long. Miserable. Good news is when you get older they move the paps to every 3 yrs. which was great!
Hoping all your appointments go well! Keep them up to date. You all got this!! ❤️
Echoing the now hundreds of women in the comments (you inspired that, ma'am) thank you for being so vulnerable and encouraging conversation of sexual health. EIGHTY percent of women will get HPV, we just get the shit end of the stick when it develops into abnormal or precancerous cells. I had the LEEP procedure done when I was 20, now 34, and all of my paps have been normal since. I cried and grieved any future reproductive normalcy, because at the time I thought that I wanted kids. I hope you've read the comments and have seen how many women have been on the same journey and gave birth to healthy children. Every single one of your feelings are so valid, just don't lose hope. Thank you for uniting so many women and opening up such important conversation. You're the real MVP, Sam. ❤️
I second all of what you said!! I had precancer cells detected on a pap smear when I was about 27. Went for 2 colposcopies and then finally a LEEP procedure around my 28th birthday. It was horrible to feel like I had to hide this from people....but eventually I opened up to my friends and told them about it and was surprised that at least two others had also gone through the same thing.
I am now 33 years old and 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby - I have had no complications due to the LEEP/precancer cells, thank goodness, but had cervical checks to ensure it was ok throughout my pregnancy.
I'm hoping everyone who watches this video and reads the comments know that while there are risks....if they catch it and they treat it, your chances at life and healthy future pregnancies are good!! We need to keep talking about this stuff!
❤️
I feel so much for all us women being to put up with so much and also with this HPV which if you have will almost turn into cancer!!! The only thing that relieves is that there is a way to protect ourselves and our children: VACCINE!!! Please have the shots now even if you're adults and please provide them to your children. The key is to have the vaccine done approximately 10 years before the first time of sexual intercourse. So this depends on your countries statistics on when the teenagers have their first sexual experience. Please do the research and have your children get the shots. Lots of love and compassion to anyone who suffer from HPV
@@FetDiB THIS! Also, the Gardasil 9 vaccine is approved for women up to 45 years old. It's a series of 3 vaccines and I just had mine last year. ❤️ I did it not only for myself and my history with HPV, but for my mom who is currently battling anal cancer as a result of HPV. Education and prevention are so important. SO thankful this discussion is still active.
I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and although our situations are different, a lot of what you said resonated so much with me and I feel a little less alone because of it. Thank you, Sam, as always for all you do.
i'm sending you best vibes and thoughts
Sending you all my love, Laura.
Sendig you so much strenght and love! ♥
sending you love and comfort ❤️
Sending you all of the love and positive healing energy in the universe.
I've had this same thing. I can't believe I'm seeing a public figure talk about this. Going through my first colposcopy and biopsy was the scariest thing I've gone through. Thankfully I'm almost clear *just need one more clear pap next year* but I'm still afraid. I haven't had kids yet and I'm terrified that this will affect everything.. Anyway, It's nice to hear you talking about this though. Makes us feel less alone. You are so brave and honest, Sam. I wish you nothing but the best.
Hang in there. I had to go every 6 months for years. I finally got to where I'm back to normal yearly paps. I've had 2 colposcopies. First one was traumatic. Hang in there. I hope you're next is clear so you can get back to less worry. 😊
I’ve been through the same. It was one of the scariest experiences. I had two children after that. My first pregnancy was very difficult but I had no issue with my cervix. I just needed transvaginal ultrasounds until I was six months pregnant to make sure my cervix was holding strong. I didn’t require bed rest but only because though my cervix was thin after the leep procedure it held the baby without issue. I know not everyone’s experience is the same but I wish you both the very best and good health.
Sending you lots of well wishes for your next pap Gina! ☺️
it doesn't effect the baby im currently 6 months you'll be fine. mine hasn't cleared by itself either
Thank you all so much!!! It really eases my mind to hear success stories from all of you. I appreciate your kind words more than you know ! I wish you all the best and hope you have happy holidays 🥰🥰🥰
It’s okay to cry and grieve the loss of having a plan not turn out the way you thought it would, and the way you wanted it to go. Don’t ever minimize your pain, you’re completely valid in feeling how you do❤️ Wishing you all the best with your upcoming surgery!
Hear hear! Sending love
Couldn’t have said it better ♥️
I literally can’t imagine how like violently furious I would be if I was getting a biopsy as a BRAND new mom and having the tech or nurse or whatever mock me for not returning a phone call whose intended outcome will be a stranger hole punching my cervix. What the fresh hell
I thought the same!
Then I also thought she is probably desensitized because of all the bad she has seen from cervical cancer so she might not care if she hurts someone’s feelings. Maybe idk but still very rude and probably doesn’t make going to get the checkups any easier when the tech is a total a-hole.
you do know that going to pep smears and returning the calls saves life, right?
@@juliettagrey6678 shut up lol
@@hanr7488 You complain about the nurse being rude to sam but it's okay for you? The nurse was right. Sam should've made her health a priority. Pap smears are important. Calling back can save your fucking life
@@juliettagrey6678 I’m a nurse… yes paps save lives, but that doesn’t excuse treating a scared and vulnerable new mother that way. Still wasn’t okay. It’s not about the nurse being “right” or not, Sam knows she needs to prioritize her health, she doesn’t need to be scolded.
Whenever I cry and the immediately apologize my therapist says don’t apologize for being vulnerable. And here I am to tell you the same. You have a right to feel and express every emotion you are going through in any given moment.
❤❤❤
Cried while watching this. So much love to you Sam. You are an amazing mama and you are going to do this procedure, you will heal and have a healthy pregnancy again someday ✨ Sending you all the good vibes ❤️
It's happening just as I said it would...the healing phase of being "scared to death" is pneumonia, aka "flu". So as people are released from the solitary confinement of their homes (because of media and government lies based on the fraudulent Germ Theory), and people begin to get happy and feel less stressed, the result will be the healing phase....of pneumonia, flu, colds, general sickness. You can also see the light sensitivity, appendicitis in some, numerous tooth problems and gum swelling, laryngitis, etc. The fear campaign has caused ALL the illnesses, not a Boogey Virus.
Every disease is based on the Germ Theory, which was the theory of ONE man over 100 years ago. It was never proven to be 100% valid, and has not even been QUESTIONED again. Why? In order for a theory to be valid, it must be reproduceable in each and every person 100% of the time. Every single person exposed to a "virus" MUST get sick from it 100% of the time, over and over again. It's how you PROVE a theory is valid. This was never done. Scientists used to think witches and witchcraft were valid!! Educated people?? hahaha!! If you cannot "catch" cancer, arthritis or diabetes from another person, then you cannot "catch" a cold or flu. There is no such thing that only SOME diseases are communicable, but not all. It's either all or none of them...they are all based on the same Germ Theory. If you can't “catch" someone's lung cancer, you can't "catch" their colds or flu. Upsetting and distressing events in a person's life is what causes ALL cancer and cancer-equivalent disease, cold, flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. A massive fear campaign will CAUSE people to be "worried sick", but sickness doesn't happen until people resolve their fears. Why do you think kids get sick in October? Because their fear of going back to school and being upset about it finally dissolves, and they get back into their routines. What the media and government is doing to people is criminal.
So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and the corrupt governments will call it a different “scary” word, a different Boogey Man coming to get you.....repeat the same mistakes that never worked from the beginning, re-institute the same restrictions that only made people more traumatized, and more panic will ensue as well as martial law, a removal of all your rights, and you let it happen. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it. Welcome to the United States of China.
Totally agree Saleh Family.
Sam, I had this lazer treatment many years ago. It went great & healed 100%.
Grow your family sweetheart. God bless 😘
I started giggling SO BAD when you started talking about ruining the rare plant market. I have probably around 100 uncommon Hoyas that I've collected over the last decade and I make props of them and then give them away on local plant boards. It's seriously the best thing ever and I have met a ton of cool people doing it. Right now I am selling a bunch for cheap and then donating all the funds to a local organization that helps feral cats.
Fuck horticultural capitalism.
Love,
Fellow Plant Pirate
Do you have a shop?
Plant piracy hahaha, that is amazing! And what an incredible way of doing it, thank you for you :)
Thank you for using your powers for good. 😁
Morgan,
I didn’t know what I was feeling until you just identified articulated it so beautifully. ‘Fuck horticultural capitalism.’ If you put that on a T-shirt, I’d buy it. Keeping being a bad bitch.
Blessings,
Hattie
Chaotic good, we love to see it!!!
Sam! I had stage 4 something HPV when I was 18. I got the 3 Gardisil shots after finding this out. I got the leap procedure done and it hurt but you are strong and can absolutely get through this!! After having the leap procedure done all paps came back 100% normal. I had a healthy 9 pound baby boy when I was 29 so now he’s 4 and I’m 33 but all is well and baby was fully cooked 41.5 weeks I went! Way past due!! Everyone is different tho but I hope this can be some hope to you! 🧡🧡 I know you’ll be ok! Trust your docs and lean on your family and Matt!
You're so lucky! I had a LEEP procedure like 10 years ago and I'm 30 weeks pregnant now and already looking at preterm birth bc of it. 😭
LEEP is known to cause issues with future pregnancy so it not without risk. But your health comes first! I was diagnosed with CIN1 prior to pregnancy and hoping and praying it clears after I give birth to these twins.
Congrats! I hope Sam sees this, very encouraging. 💕
I had a very similar thing happen to me, and I was so frustrated with my mother who apparently forgot (??) to get me the shots. So glad things worked out for you, so far *knock on wood* so good
@@petal8829 Good Luck to You!! Hope all goes well.
Sam, I hope nobody tells you “it isn’t a big deal”. Anything about your own health is always a big deal. Sure, people can compare their situation to yours, but that doesn’t make YOURS not a big deal to YOU ❤️
So so true!!
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
I've been following you for YEARS Sam, like.. at least 7 or 8 years at this point. Throughout your time on social media, I've really gravitated to your personality type being vastly different from other beauty influencers. I feel more connected to you than others, I feel comforted by the way you speak to your audience and I just enjoy you overall as a person. We went into motherhood fairly close together. My daughter is now 16 months and I feel like I've never had anyone quite explain the emotional rollercoaster that is pregnancy quite like you just did. I too felt this overwhelming anxiety surrounding pregnancy and birth, constantly creating these scenarios in my head that would more often than not be the worst possible ones you could think of. And of course, that got even worse after birth dealing with PP anxiety/depression. I know you've got this amazing community of followers that come here for beauty content, but just remember that many of us found you at a similar age, similar areas in our life and now we're all growing into adults so many of us are also parents too. I've really appreciated you sharing more of your journey with pregnancy and motherhood because it's a more personal side of you that we don't always get to see. It's so rare to find people as authentic and genuine as you to engage in content like this. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate these raw and emotional videos from you.
Yea
I love how you worded all of this and was blown away by this realization of moving along through life on similar paths just due to age and generations.
I was crying right along with her like she's my actual good friend. ❤
As someone who have experienced sexual assault it is fucking horrible to have HPV changes and all the surgery. And some doctors are really rude in regards to this very delicate problem. I got all the vaccines but still got it. I am sorry for your experience, but I am grateful that you share it with us. Sending lots of love and support!
I have watched you since 2014, batalash days. I’m currently 19 minutes into this video and crying because I can literally see the pain in your eyes and I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I messaged you on Instagram back in March of this year after I found out I was pregnant because it was exciting to me to have your content to follow along with as you navigated your pregnancy. I have endometriosis and adenomyosis and really feared I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, so I was over the moon. I then found out I miscarried at the end of April, and had an ectopic in July and now have no idea what the future holds. It’s an intense pain and it’s real and it’s valid. My cousin went through something similar. You WILL have more babies. WE will have our babies. And your business will thrive. We are strong, even when we are scared. I know nothing about you as a mother but I have no doubt that you are a wonderful one. We all love you and are rooting for you.
Fellow endowarrior here, sending love 🤎
@@PopPunkLoserr it never ceases to amaze me how many of us there are. So much love to you as well.
Me tooo!!!
This is SO important. All of it. Covering reproductive healthcare, STI-related health risks, mental health, investing in self-care maintenance, and the reality of balancing being a parent, partner, friend, business owner, and whole human.
Thank you for sharing your cervical circumstances. When I was 11 I received my first dose of Gardasil, a vaccine that prevents most types of HPV - most notably the strains of HPV most commonly linked to causing cervical cancer. It’s not a fail safe, but another example of how vital vaccines are. Especially for women, as our healthcare is stigmatized and threatened on a regular basis ON TOP OF being disregarded and neglected in funding, resources, and over all societal importance.
I feel extra proud being a fan of yours. THANK YOU for your vulnerability and strength, reminding us all to take care of ourselves so we can do everything we want in life. Dabbing some auric shadow to elevate a look while being a glowy hoe on the daily with glowlust… I feel like I’m empowering everything you do too. I know it’s near impossible as a fellow anxiety ridden depressive perfectionist… but for FUCKS sake, be kind to yourself. Acknowledging your privilege while not forcing yourself to suffer under the weight of societal pressure. You are a fucking rockstar.
I totally used this comment as a journal entry to empower myself so, multitasking yay. Love you Sam.
Yes to all of this! Especially about how women's healthcare is stigmatized, villainized, and neglected.
Also, can we all agree that her ex is an absolute trashbag?? People like him are the reason I am so grateful I chose to get vaxxed against HPV right before the cutoff age where insurance wouldn't pay for it anymore-- 27! So much older than Sam was when she was first exposed.
I feel like no one has mentioned how absolutely hilarious your titles and thumbnails are. Like, gallows humour 14/10. Your “experience with depression” one is maybe one of my favourites of all time.
As someone who deals with heartbreak and tragedy by making very, very dark jokes about it all, I appreciate being able to laugh/cry with you with my whole, sick, twisted soul. So very cash money of you, Sam.
Vulnerability is powerful and admirable. You’re incredible 🤍
The comments on this video are so unbelievably supportive and kind ❤️
I feel like I’m looking in a mirror watching myself. All this happened to me too. You’ll have more kids, Sam. Your baby was born healthy while you had this condition but didn’t know about it. I’ve had a leep. Precancerous cells. Its not pleasant but you’ll get through it. Little one will have as many little siblings as you want. I was able to give birth to healthy twins. It’s ok to be scared. Sending love and light. Know that we love you and respect your need for breaks.
Sam, please don’t apologize for crying or tearing, or call yourself over emotional. Ever. I’m tearing up listening to your story, as (I’m sure like many of the ladies), I’m going through a similar issue. And we thank you for sharing! I know we’re only typing on a screen, but we are here for you, even though we can’t be there in person. What your feeling is VALID, your emotions are VALID, you received some pretty upsetting news, I feel like we’d all react the same way (I did too). We love you! And we’re channeling super positive and loving vibes! ❤️🌷
Thank you for this. It is beautiful. We are all valid. Thanks for the reminder.
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Thank you for putting words to how I was feeling too! I fully echo what you said.
@@claudiacastillo5898 of course! It’s the truth, never devalue yourself 🌷
This to me seems like a grieving period. You've lost something you thought you were going to have. Feeling sad and depressed because of this lost experience is so human and devastating. I think it's great you can share it on here. We love you and are here for you. However you need our support, w'e'll be here. I'm sending you so so so much love.
One thing I’ve really found helps when talking to safe/trusted people is letting them know what you need, ie I need to vent I don’t want solutions right now, or I want to problem solve or I need some reassurance. That way it doesn’t cause hurt when expressing something, it’s met how you need in that moment
Oh sweet girl- this is scary and I'm sorry you're going through it. I had a LEEP in July 19 and got pregnant in Sept 19... had a ton of vaginal ultrasounds, but that was the main difference. I was lucky enough to carry my bean to full term and I pray for the same for you down the line! .....also, a great reminder to give my gyno a call, because it has been a minute. Thanks, as always, for being so candid with us. xx
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
I had a leep too and I was told I couldn't have sex for a while after the procedure and also couldn't get pregnant for at least a year afterwards so it could fully heal. It took a few months for my cervix to fully grow back and I had a lot of pains in my cervix for a while after having the procedure. I'm so glad everything went well, but wouldn't it be bad to put pressure on the cervix after a procedure like that? Before it has fully healed?
@@sarahyork11 you would think but whoops! Haha. They basically measured it every time I went in, especially at the beginning, to check and make sure it wasn’t getting too thin (for lack of a clinical term). And there’s also a procedure they can do to put a stitch in to help prevent preterm labor but I ended up not needing y it
@@tsimmons6964 oh yes, a cerclage. I'm so glad you didn't need one. It's great they measured you so often. I was terrified that I would get cervical incompetence. At my anatomy scan I made sure it wasn't too short or dilated. But it was fine the whole time. I was surprised my Dr wasn't at all worried about it. Maybe it's not super common after leeps.
I wasn't expecting such a deep video based on the title and thumbnail and I think it is really brave of you to be so open and vulnerable after people have been so critical of your littlest moves in the past. i am rooting for you and hoping for the best. there is no other youtuber i'd rather have a parasocial relationship with
I have also had tests on my cervix and was told I'm at risk for cervical cancer and problems, so you coming out to tell your experience is so helpful because I feel so much less alone. I hope you can find comfort and healing! ❤
Also, I'm cackling at your plan for plant anarchy. Please do it. I believe in you.
I'm high risk. I went every 6 months for paps for years. Until a couple years ago now I'm finally back to 1 year intervals. 😊 Just hang in there because you're not alone.
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Me too.
Same here! Glad we are all talking about it
I went through the exact same situation verbatim to you and I’m here to tell you I have since had three additional beautiful healthy babies that all went to term and everything with great during pregnancy as well! It’s absolutely normal and ok to have the feelings you do sending you much love, good vibes and prayers girl you’re amazing!! 🥰
I don't have any words of guidance, just that I hear you and I'm listening to your struggle. You're appreciated!
I'm sorry that you're struggling but I'm always so impressed by how casually inclusive you always are. It's just wonderful. I hope things get easier for you soon ♡
edit: I just finished watching the whole video and, wow Sam, what a rollercoaster. I'm not even going through all of that and my emotions were all over the place, so there's no need for you to apologize for crying. It must be so shattering to receive that news. I know you've likely thought about this before, but if you ever choose to supplement your income with Patreon, I would sign up immediately. You should absolutely do what is necessary for you to be able to be happy and satisfied, even if other people disagree with your methods. Crossing my digits that your procedures go smoothly and thank you for keeping us updated on your life. I know you don't have to and that sometimes you get criticized for it, but these videos are important and I appreciate them a lot
New podcast title for same.. casually inclusive!
FOR SAM, later on of course. Not same
I’ve had the LEEP procedure twice due to precancerous cells found on my PAP smear. Both times it confirmed what I had was not cancer. But damn it was so scary and I didn’t tell anyone but I should have. I’m sorry you’re going through this Sam.
Sam, you are a true gem on youtube and I (selfishly) hope you never stop producing content, but especially content like this. Life kicks everyone in the fkn teeth. It is lonely and scary to navigate something like this, and I am so sorry you're going through it. I applaud your honesty and raw reactions so so much. Sending you all the prayers and good vibes and positive affirmations to help get you through!
Literally went through the same thing. I was distraught when my Gynae insinuated that my partner might have been unfaithful. It caused months of fights and distrust. Only to find out that it was actually my ex partner who had been unfaithful.
I never did regular Pap smears, so it was hard to tell at first. But after seeing a second Gynae, he explained to me that the progression of the cells from low grade to high grade takes a long time.
All in all it was a horrible experience. The stigma that comes with it is almost just as damaging as the disease itself. I still remember my mother in law making remarks on how HPV is something that only “dirty” people get with a “lack of morals”.
I think it’s amazing that you’re talking about this, I can tell you now if this video came across my feed a year ago, it would’ve made such a big difference in my mental health.
Well your mother in law is wrong. HPV is an epidemic. So so many people have it or had it and many never know. I’m sorry you were shamed.
I have been following you for a few years now, and I have to say, you’ve curated a following of the brightest, most emotionally intelligent and empathetic femmes. And it’s because you are one of them. Thank you, once again, for being real. You make people feel real.
Oh Sam. Fuck, man. You’re doing eyeliner while literally crying, you can do anything. You got this x
Oh Sam, when your eyes welled up my tears started to fall. I'm not a mom and won't be, but as a woman, I felt your pain. Thanks for sharing with us. Stay strong love, we're all here for you xxoo
I’m just gonna repeat what everybody in the comments already said : Thank You so much because every time you talk about something I feel less alone. Not only because I know someone else is going through it as well, more so because someone else is going through the same feelings, questions, doubts and all that good shit than me. That is the reason why I still go back so much to your (more or less old) videos and the podcast. It goes without saying but it doesn’t cost anything to say it anyway; I’m so so so sorry you are going through this. I really strongly hope that everything will be just fine physically and mentally, so that you find or create the most suitable way for you and your family to have everything you guys want.
“I’m high and this is houseplants” is the BEST plant Facebook group. Always poppppin. Super helpful plant friends. Sending love and healing to you. ♥️
Thank you for talking about this. It affects so many of us, I contracted HPV from a partner and the phrase "abnormal cells" and "colposcopy" still fly through my head at every annual appointment. It's scary enough to go through pregnancy and then having that loom over you is just not trill. It's ok to cry about what all of the implications might mean, and to worry. Take time for your health and be kind to yourself. We love you, Sam.
Sam, one of my good friends had the same level of pre-cancer on her cervix and had to have a Leep procedure, as well. She went on to have 2 beautiful girls (2 pregnancies) and worked during both. Not everyone is the same but many people go on to have healthy, normal pregnancies and I pray you do, too! I suffer with anxiety and spent my whole pregnancy riddled with fear so I can relate. You’re a great person and mom and whatever happens, you’ll handle it like the boss you are!
I'm so glad that you are talking about this because it's so much more common than people realize and yet no one discusses it. Two of my close friends have had almost identical situations. You are such a badass for your transparency, and you are helping more people than you probably realize. Sending you the most will wishes ever. 😘
Sending you hugs and positive energy during this difficult time. I am OBGYN and would really like to reassure you that pregnancies post LEEP generally have great outcomes and I have never asked someone to stay on bed rest simply because of previous LEEP.
Thank you 🙏🏼 for posting this 💕
I’m so proud of you for telling the world what you have been going through. After people were crazy about your baby I really thought you would just shut down and only talk about makeup (which is totally fine). So I was surprised, but pleasantly. I love your videos. Thank you for still making them!
Kayla503, did you also contact the admin regarding this “giveaway?” I did and it feels like a total scam.
It’s really fucking unfair that you have to go through this, Sam. I’m really pissed for you. I’m sending you positive vibes and I hope the procedure goes well and you find some peace. Love you.
I’m sure you’ve gotten over it
Sam, I really cannot explain just how much I appreciate you making this video. I have pre-cancerous cells at 25. I'm going for my second colposcopy next month and I'm scared of being told the cells have developed. I've never heard anyone talk about this before and it feels like I'm going through it alone and that's terrifying to me. Knowing that I'm not alone and hearing your experience makes me feel so much more comfortable and brave going into my appointments which are usually so uncomfortable and intimidating. Thank you for talking about difficult topics. Thank you for starting these conversations. Thank you for being open with us. Your conversations on mental health have always resonated with me and I've always been able to relate so I've found those so helpful, and now talking about this new topic has been so helpful for me too. Just thank you. Thank you so much for everything you do.
I went through the whole abnormal cell/biopsy/LEEP process when I was 25. It was emotionally and physically exhausting. You’re not alone ❤️ On another note, this video was absolutely wonderful. I laughed, I cried, and I was inspired by your makeup! You’re wonderful Sam!
The Dr. you have for the biopsy matters so much! I’ve had two. One hurt so bad, I almost puked, like sweating, crying, about to pass out. And I’m a tuff ass B! The second was my amazing gyno that I still see and it did not hurt nearly as bad. He talked me thru it, counted to 3, had me cough at the time he did the little snip. Made a world of difference!
Yes mine was not bad at all when I did the countdown and cough!
@@petal8829 Made a huge difference for me!
Why am I crying with you? ❤️❤️ thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Okay I was already feeling this video but the plant portion at the end really sent me. Your approach to Ariel is mine.
Thank you for trusting us with this information. As a new mom of a four month old, also my first, your videos about motherhood and birth and pregnancy have really impacted me in a good way because you are honest. I have had so many “ah, yes, exactly” moments in listening to you. Much love and peace through this trial. Your life is filled with love
I’ve had the same experience where the doctor claimed I “ghosted” them.. as medical professionals they should be WAY more empathetic about how scary and triggering it is for people to go to the doctors.
Seriously-I’m so used to doctors being so shitty about this that a few months ago I apologized nearly in tears to my psychiatrist for forgetting to make my next appointment, even though I wasn’t out of my medication, and he went “………..you have adhd. And you’re busy. It’s very very normal to put these things off”. Great doc
THIS!!! I agree 100%, especially a postpartum woman. They need to have some compassion & understanding.
Imagine if docs approached us with empathy instead? I know the doctor was probably concerned, by berating someone isn't likely to get a positive result.
Thanks for talking about this, Sam. I found out I have high-risk HPV this year, from a previous partner. I was heartbroken. I thought it was so shameful and disgusting, until I read that nearly 3/4 of people get HPV. We need to talk about it more & remove the stigma. I never knew how common it was and that it REALLY is nothing to be ashamed about!
Right! Most people have HPV at some point, and the kind that cause cell changes don’t even cause warts, so you wouldn’t ever know until a pap/smear test.
Sam, my heart breaks for you. I had a full hysterectomy 2 years ago from stage 3 Cervical Cancer caused by HPV. I put it off like you and ended up with stage 3. Please don’t put it off. I had the LEEP procedure 3 times and still ended up having to have hysterectomy. I don’t want to further scare you but please don’t wait. Sending you hugs and prayers 💕
I'm about to get looked at for this reason. It hit me within recent years how many past partners had cheated on me or just had a very high possibility of having an STI. That responsibility needs to play into how my life is going to go this year, and it's time to step up with taking accountability. You are brave for facing it. I was a fan of this singer named Sarah Harding from a UK girl band, and she passed away last September after having stage 4 breast cancer with a horrific speedy growth that was extremely rare. She only had about a year and a half to live from first discovering her first lump.
Typical mom struggle: I'm watching this at 3AM in the dark nursing my own baby.
You're so right on with the absolute time struggle for moms, let alone working moms. I'm so sorry that this has happened and now you have this mental and emotional weight on you. My prayers are with you.
As a mom, it can easily feel like no matter what, our decisions and actions are wrong. Truth is, if we put love into each decision we make, it's the best we can do at the time. And that's all any of us can really do. ❤
Thank you for being open about what’s going on. You are not obligated to tell us anything about your personal life but you choose to do so regardless. I hope that we can lift you up in anyway possible. I’ll be thinking about you and praying for your health in the future.
I know you don’t come back to your comments often but I just have to express how proud of you I am, Sam.
I’ve watched you for almost your entire UA-cam career and it has been such a pleasure to watch you learn, grow, and move through the struggles in life.
You’re a gem and I hope you know how loved and cherished you are. ❤️
This happened to me like 15 years ago. I went and did everything alone. Did not tell anyone because i was so ashamed. Im so happy women can support each other now and be open and honest and thank you for sharing ❤️
I’m so sorry you did all that alone 😭 I hope you have found better support❤️
I did the same thing. Went through everything alone not because I was ashamed but simply because I thought I didn’t need the support…I was very wrong about that. I don’t think that I realized the seriousness of the whole situation because I was quite young. That’s why I appreciate people talking about it as much as they can. Knowledge is power!
My favourite thing ever is when Sam talks about her plants 😂 I love seeing your glow lust swatch pot!!
Appreciate your openness around this- it will help people with cervixes seek care when needed and people with similar struggles feel less alone. You’re funny af and talented at makeup, but also a wonderful open and real contrast to a lot of social media. 🖤
Love the inclusivity ✨
women
Keep erasing women…
@@Creellh no, I think “people with cervixes” is fine 😊
Ignore the shitty comments. Women are still here, look at us :) right here, right alongside our pals of all genders with cervixes :)
Even though we don't know you in real life (as actual friends), I'm glad that you find any amount of comfort in coming online to talk to us about serious issues, and the huge amount of good you're doing for someone else watching this who really needs this right now... or in the future. 🙏 I applaud you and your willingness to talk. This topic suddenly gave me a flashback to the 2000s, because it reminded me that I was in one of the earliest batches of young women that received the 3 doses of the HPV shot. It was fully covered by health insurance (in Australia), but I don't know if this is prevalent in many other places. I hope this video you've made also serves as a good reminder for everyone to go see a doctor and have your health checked, in whichever way it is accessible to you. This one anonymous person here would also love to give you a hug Sam.
Thank you for talking about this. This happened to me earlier this year. I actually went into my OBGYN to get my IUD removed and my doctor was like, “oh let’s go ahead and get your annual pap” Cool, whatever, 2 birds, one stone and all that. I think nothing of it honestly. A few weeks later, I get a call from a random nurse who tells me that I had abnormal results and needed to come in. Instant panic. (Honestly this nurse totally made me think I had cancer, which is a different story, but it was incredibly terrifying. I started picturing my daughter growing up without me. It was traumatic.) Anyways I do not have cancer but i did have to have a colposcopy and discovered I have precancerous cells, also from HPV (which I didn’t know I had ever had before that point). I also had to have them lasered off like that you mentioned, which was more uncomfortable than I expected. Anyways the whole time, I was terrified and I was embarrassed. I felt dirty and scared and I didn’t know anyone personally who had experienced this situation. It was just a lot. I cried a lot. And I felt very alone and very scared. Ok this is longer than I anticipated (thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol) but this just really really resonated with me so I just wanted to say thank you for talking about this.
I’m with you girl, I had this start last year too and I have another colp next week. I was not at all prepared for the pain and discomfort of the biopsy and went to the doctor thinking it would be nothing. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but I felt weird emptiness and discomfort for months and months after the first biopsy. I recovered just in time for my next abnormal pap
The way you described how your mind works and thinks and functions has made me realize my husband is the same way and he hasn't been able to put how he is into words. You just helped me so much in understanding his thought processes and feelings so thank you. You don't know how long I've been struggling to understand him. You're amazing Sam, I love you. ❤ hope your health continues to heal and I wish you all of my love and support for Auric. (:
God Bless You for sharing your truth! It helps other Mothers know they aren't alone in this.
1-its TOTALLY COOL TO BE SAD about the female health issue. You're doing great and it will be ok. (Things that I've needed to hear learning to cope with female health issues)
2- I love the plant anarchy! Yes, I have had similar thoughts on the matter and a bumpin discord about plants would be great!
3- you're the best Sam! Love my "Sam-fixs" and always look forward to your videos
Dear Sam and her cervix, you can do this. I know it's cliche, but we all need reminded sometimes - it will be OK. You will figure things out and roll with the punches. A second professional opinion is worth getting, always! I also had to have a LEAP procedure in my 20's. I ended up getting pregnant at 30 years old, was addicted to opioids, and went through severe withdrawal for the first 4 months of pregnancy. I was miserable most of my pregnancy, but it was manageable. I was induced 2 weeks early because at my last non-stress test her heart rate kept going up and down. She was only 5lb 8oz! Needed a little extra care the first few days after she was born but was out of the hospital within 6 days and has been great ever since. Nothings ever really written in stone, until it's all over. You're a strong gal.. And I appreciate you being vulnerable and open. I've been depressed and lethargic lately, and was especially so after giving birth. It's super hard having a little one even in the best of situations, so feeling down and disconnected while taking care of a little one is the worst. I hope you're able to practice some self-care and relax a little. Hope your holidays are great and warm wishes 😊
Hey Sam, something I wish I would’ve been told when going I was going through health problems is that whatever is “worst case scenario” does not mean that everything won’t be okay.
I went to the ER with a UTI thinking I would get some antibiotics and be fine, but they told me things had gotten a little complicated. I told myself that in the “worst case scenario,” I would need to have one of my kidneys removed (long story short, that’s what ended up happening).
I was terrified, of course, but that was a year ago and I’m okay. That’s what I hope you’re able to tell yourself when it gets hard. “Everything will be okay” seems to imply that nothing is wrong, which makes it really annoying to hear when things are definitely wrong. But even so, even if “worst case scenario” happens, you’ll still be okay.
Sam, you are truly an angel. Thank you for existing.
Your feelings are 1000 per cent valid. I’ve been in the pap/colposcopy cycle for over two years and with another appointment coming up I completely understand all those what ifs and worst case scenarios about your health and future pregnancies. Best of luck with the LEEP, keeping you in my thoughts.
Oh Sam… talking about cancer (even pre-cancer) is so damn hard. My pre-cancer has turned into real cancer so i fully understand how hard it is to put this in the world. Remember that even if things are different than you planned, it can still be beautiful. Personally I’ll need to use a surrogate and as mad as i was at first, accepting it feels good. Maybe this is a lesson in letting yourself rest and self care. 🤍
Sending love and all the healthy vibes. You're doing amazing. Hope you're so proud of yourself. 💖💖💖💖
I’m so glad you talk about these things . I have to get smears done every 6 months as I have hpv so I have this fear every time I go . You are so brave and inspiring honestly!
I feel so heart broken for you. I am going through these exact same stages and issues and I have never seen someone else talk about it and understand it. Thank you
My heart broke a hundred times watching you hurting 💔 your emotions are so valid, and I can only imagine how scary this has been for you. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, you are truly an amazing woman and mother
Sending love.... Cry all you want be mad all you want what you are experiencing is overwhelming I would feel the same way...I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and it's hard I can't imagine doing all you do as well....your super mom and I'm praying for good health and peace of mind ❤️
I had CIN 3 on my cervix a few years ago. I had the leep and now I’m all clear. You’re so strong! You got this!
Sam, I’ve followed you for years now. I did wild makeup with you in my twenties. I was actually pregnant the same time you were, also with my first baby. I just wanted to say that I hear and support you. Your feelings are valid, whatever they are on a given day. And you are an amazing mom, business owner, and woman.
Colposcopies suck and they are not great if you are with an unpleasant doctor too. I had one in 2020 and was supposed to have one in 2021 but I had massive anxiety because I had a really shitty doctor then. I found another doctor and when I got to the appointment, they told me I didn’t need to have one until this year (2022) I would have loved to have a nicer doctor sooner and they changed the guidelines so the doctor who I was originally scheduled with scared me for no reason. I definitely recommend getting regular paps, but delivering these types of diagnosis or recommending these more invasive tests should be done in a more empathetic way. Thank you for sharing this! People act weird if you bring this up.
You are doing a great job Sam. Your giving everything you can to every job you have. Even if you can’t give as much as you once could, you are giving as much as you can now. That’s something to be extremely proud of. You always deserve time to yourself and a mental timeout.
Casually clicking in and out of the video because I'm not emotionally prepared for Sam's tears because I have watched her videos since literally day one and I have so much respect and love for her passion and overall life. Sending you so much love during the health struggles. You deserve the absolute best 💜
Hey Sam. I had a LEEP procedure done several years ago and I really really hear everything you’re saying. All of it. Sending you a big hug from a fellow Vancouverite.
I really appreciate this. As a pregnant person with their first child. I have felt so many of the things you have described. Look after yourself and keep doing what you are doing because it's important and so helpful
Sam is so kick ass!!! Lots of luck with conquering the plants!! Thanks for sharing that life can really suck sometimes but tomorrow is a new day 💓🌻🌱
Thank you for sharing. Love you and it’s okay to do the best you can in the moment. ❤️ Celebrate the little wins and motivations.
Sam, thank you for talking about this. I had 2 colposcopy procedures and a LEEP after HPV and high grade precancerous cells that turned into adenocarcinoma. After the LEEP, I had paps every 6 months for 2 years until they came back clear. I never knew how common these procedures are until I became comfortable to talk about them with my coworkers….turns out multiple of them had had similar experiences! Thank you for always talking about women’s health and making it less taboo.
Same as me, finally did a leep and have been having normal paps since!
I also had 2 kids since, you’ll be ok sam. Ask your doctor about a leep procedure. They put you under so you don’t feel anything
It breaks my heart to see you suffering, Sam. You’re very strong and your feelings are so valid: YOU ARE SO BRAVE!! Everything is gonna be okay 💖 I love you
Girl so many women struggle with this. You're definitely helping by speaking on this. Awww HUGS Sam ❤️ I'm going to burn some herbs and send healing you're way. I struggle with stage 4 endometriosis. I can't have kids because of it and the pain is debilitating at times. Sex is painful as well. You are not alone boo ❤️
Ok, brand new to your channel. Your menstrual cup videos got me through getting the damn regular saalt cup out of my vagina today. Holy hell. That was not fun. However, I then saw a plant video, which is my main UA-cam material and of course she more about cervix and clicked here. Just wanted to send you so love and empathy. I had a health scare which really had me kicking myself for not getting in sooner, but I too had lots going on. I hate that the lady you saw said that to you. I had a lady ream me when I got lost going to my biopsy. I cried through the whole procedure and then got the scary call the next day confirming what was probably fine was certainly not. So many worries come during challenges with our health. Lean on those support systems. Sending you well wishes to get you through this time. ❤
sending you a TREMENDOUS amount of love from Northern California. And my mum's family is from Vancouver, so they're sending you love too that should arrive sooner (because it has less distance to traverse). Also I just (lovingly) yelled at all my friends to go get their Pap smears done.
Sam thank you SO much for sharing this. I’ve had two colposcopies with biopsies in the past year and I just scheduled my first LEEP procedure for January 2022. I’ve felt so scared and alone & even ashamed. I’ve been wondering how it would affect any future pregnancies and it’s been such a relief to hear someone else speak about it 💜 dont apologize about tearing up because I started crying too lol
sending you love, sam. thanks for sharing your life with us. you’re a blessing 💓
I never comment on UA-cam videos and I've been watching you for YEARS.
Please do not ever apologize for being a human being. You've always been a breath of fresh air. Social media has so so so many faults but you are not one of them. You're stellar and you're so welcomed to cry on here and vent. Society NEEDS more of this. Desperately. Keep on doing 100 what you're doing. It is damn near vital. Thank you Sam you are doing an amazing job and you are doing so much more for moms and the beauty community. More than you know❤❤
Ps. Rare plant market.. you're a few years late on that like 3... and honestly it's not the healthiest market. Do some research it's quite sad. But I fully support having plants but depression and plants is also a thing. Do what makes you feel good. Not overwhelmed!
It's okay to mourn expectations falling through. This is all scary and shocking. Please let everyone around you hold you up, emotionally, physically... allow yourself some grace while you navigate these feelings and changes. ♡
I was diagnosed with stage 3 HPV and I did ALL of the shots prior to this and it still didn't help. Still having to wait to see if it progresses to cancer or not... I felt alone and somehow a failure as I've always had safe sex, have been in a monogamous relationship for 9-years and come to find out he could be the carrier this whole time and all of a sudden has a flare up and now I have it to transfer on. I immediately went to the negative thoughts and the crazy anxiety that came with the diagnosis and when I tell you how open my friends and co-workers were about this when I got the news... it's much more common than we are taught/told and I am so unbelievably sorry that you are going through this but I am also unbelievably grateful that you spoke out about this so I don't feel so alone or isolated for something that tons of women struggle with daily. Just like miscarriage, there's a stigma to talking about this as if it's an STD that we contracted from being promiscuous and unsafe, that is so far from the case for most of us and yet we still feel the shame and guilt and anxiety that follows. You are one of the strongest women I have gotten to know and love online and even though I haven't met you in real life, I feel closer to you now more than ever. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave for the rest of us to have a platform to confide in each other with. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS BECAUSE WOMEN ARE THE STRONGEST MOST RESILIENT BEINGS ON EARTH! Much love to you and your growing family
While I was watching this I opening the post (mail) and had TWO separate reminders/notices about booking my cervical screening appointment
Once again, I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable in front of millions of random strangers on the internet. You're making women feel less alone in their journies. Appreciate you Sam ❤
It’s for the attention, clicks, likes, & money if you’ve never figured it out
Girl, I swear we have more in common than you know! I’ve had the colposcopy, precancerous cells, the loop, miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, a laparoscopy, a preemie and I am Canadian (Alberta girl) to boot. I know exactly your fears, anxiety and stress…every part! Your feelings are so valid and if you want to ask me anything at all, message me. I now have 2 healthy kids and somehow, I survived all of the shit that I had to go through to get them. It’s so fucking hard to deal with so much! Being a new mom, not knowing what the hell you are doing, the hormonal swings, the baby blues, previous anxiety and depression issues, etc. It’s like being on a mind fuck roller coaster!!! It is crazy hard and it feels like you are alone in all of it because it is your body that is failing you, or so it seems. You are not alone. Surely we are not the only ones to have had to walk such a shitty path, although knowing that doesn’t make it any less difficult when you are on the path. Sam, you are so brave to talk about this on a public forum and to get it out. Burying the pain is awful and not talking about it is the worst thing that you can do. I did that and let me tell you, big fucking mistake. It made everything worse. I had insanely bad post partum depression that is was debilitating. Don’t minimize what you are dealing with. This is a lot of shit for one person to take! It’s scary as hell and you need to keep the dialogue going or it will eat away at you. You are such a badass bitch and I have admired you for years for talking about your mental health, your vulnerability is amazing and it reaches others who suffer with mental health struggles. They know that they are not alone in this world because of what you share. It’s our turn to help you and let you know that we hear you. We’ve got you! You’re one incredible woman and I truly hope that you know that. Stay strong my Canadian sister! Keep us posted on how you are doing so we can support you! We are here, we are with you❤️.
Your feelings are SO valid, Sam. Wishing all the best for you.
youre so incredibly strong, you amaze me more and more. sending all of the love, light, and healing your way. 🤍
Thanks for talking about this. I’m on my 5th year of being HPV+ and having abnormal paps. Everyone I talk to and everywhere I look online makes it sound like I’m a complete freak of nature but according to your video and this comment section I am not alone! I make a point to tell everyone with kids to get their children vaccinated against HPV so they don’t have to go through this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t tell you everything will be fine but by the looks of this comment section it sounds like you can be pretty optimistic. ❤️
Isnt HPV super common tho? I really hate the stigma around this and other STDs
It's crazy because it's super common. I know so many people who have had abnormal cells and people who have had a leep too. But yeah I had HPV for about 5 years too. Went away for a bit and then came back and got a leep. But I had no problems getting pregnant. Actually just had twins.
@@alyson_l27 super common. Most women get it at some point, just don't always know it and it usually goes away on its own
Also I got the vaccine too after finding out I had HPV. Hasn't come back since my leep
@@alyson_l27 yes! About 75% of people get it but most clear it within a year or two. A lot of people never even know they have it. They act like it’s extremely rare to have it over 2 years but I’m starting to think it’s more common than we think. And I agree. I think we all need to talk about STDs more because there’s so much I learned about HPV that I didn’t know before becoming positive. Oh btw for whoever is reading this- they raised the age limit of who can get the hpv vaccine! I think they raised it to 45
Sam, please ask your doctor about a “cervical cerclage” procedure for your next pregnancy. it can help prevent preterm labor in a pregnancy where the cervix is compromised! It could be a possibility for you with the concern of cervical incompetence. Best of luck, you’re doing amazing ❤️