My boyfriend isn’t allowed to cry unfortunately. | Sophia Thakur | TEDxClapham
Вставка
- Опубліковано 18 лют 2015
- Men aren’t allowed to be weak, and that’s a damn shame. We explore the conditioning of men in the 21s century, and discover why they are slowly becoming less and less human. A desperate plea for expression to be pumped into our young boys.
Sophia Thakur has been gracing the stage with some of the worlds most talented poets since she was just 14. Being thrown into the ring at such a young age, she was forced to develop this suave and enticing stage character which often leaves crowds of thousands moved to the highest emotion possible. Sophia is fast becoming the female face of Spoken Word in the UK, still at such a young age. Be prepared to be speechless.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
she is a beautiful talker, managed to capture all my attention with her carefully picked words delivered with all her heart...
it was hard to understand her sometimes like when she randomly sped up and started talking as a poet would and not as someone just talking or as someone giving a speech. it kinda threw me off but i love the message she had
I am in awe on how she speaks, how does she even remember all that, and looks so confident doing it?
As a man who was indeed conditioned to hold my feelings inside, repress, not feel ... and who has learned late in life the utter stupidity and unhealthfulness that leads to, I am in wholehearted agreement with you Sophia. I want men in my life who know this and live it, just as you do!
Sophia in no way focusing on "women's rights" or expressing a hatred for the man. If anything her plea for men to be more transparent and open to who they truly are, how they truly feel and how we are flawed as people and are weak at times shows a love for men to be who they are. She's not telling me to cry or how to act. She's sharing the experience, that is a reality, that young men are conditioned to only express the emotions of anger, pride and domination which I agree with. I can't tell my boys that I feel isolated and lonely away from my siblings, but I can say that I love the freedom of being at uni with no parents and no rules. Do you see the difference? And if you knew the poet personally you'd understand how the heart behind this poem isn't driven by any malice to men, but it was driven by her seeing a glimpse of when men can be human before we cling to the role of "alpha male" and wanting to instigate a change in ideology.
This was beautiful. Some people think this poem showed hatred for men but I think it came from Sophia Thakur's deep love for men and the men in her life.
I cannot imagine how anyone could see that as hatred. That is a beautiful mind.
she is beautiful, not just by her looks but the way she expresses her thoughts in to a poem in a calm, persuasive way.
I don't know how some of you are seeing hatred for men in this talk, she's saying to be at one with yourself as a man which I totally identify with. Men aren't "rated" by peers or by social media for being consistently at one with their emotions, often being told that they are being soft/feminine etc. It's like it's only acceptable to display certain emotions but never that you are vulnerable or that you can be hurt. What's hateful about telling a man that it's okay to be vulnerable? At no point is she saying it is wrong to be strong. If you are hurting and it's eating at you, say something, open up to someone, she's not saying go and tell the world that you're upset but at the same time don't hold it in and let your hurt consume you.
Yeah that's not hateful
she's very charismatic. great speech
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I remember feeling like I should cry, but I couldn't. I tried, and I really couldn't push anything out.
Hope everyone out there is well.
And I hope you are well, I know that feeling.
When my grandma died, I had no tears for her. I felt like something was wrong with me. Like I forgot how to cry. I thought it was because I didn't love her as much as I thought before. But that was wrong. I just had conditioned myself to not crying.
But some songs can always make me cry. And when I hear them, I think about all the loved ones I have lost. And I know how much I really loved them.
I wish you all the best.
@@darkgoblin5681 Thanks for your story, friend.
This is very honest, as I don't remember when was the last time I cried even in my solitude, inspite of having a lot of frustration....
For as long as I can remember, the world around me has said to never cry because you’re the eldest brother and you can’t afford to cry because your brothers might learn how to cry as well. Well, they never did. And I forgot how to show any emotion that wasn’t joy or love or emptiness. Now I can’t cry. I just can’t. I come close, oh so close. Then, it is gone. Like the whisper of a winter wind. I crack once every year. I never show discomfort or hatred or anger until it’s too late to reel back in without hurting someone. And now recently I have been whisked away into daydreams of having so much hate and anger, sometimes In my daydreams I will hurt people, and sometimes even kill. In these daydreams there is always a reason for whatever I do, usually someone hurts or threatens or insults some one I love. And to top it all off, I have ADHD and possibly autism, so I never get anything done and I can’t focus on anything, not to mention all the sounds and sights I sense all the time twenty four hours a day seven days a week. And yes I know that I’m not really breaching the subject of the video I’m commenting on but honestly I couldn’t care less.
I can see where you are coming from in the sense that some women have for a long time looked up to men as the strong one. When men reveal their emotions, sometimes some women find this difficult to support not for want of trying but because of the stereo typical image of men being the stronger human. However your delivery Sophia is not a cry against men in any form but for more openness to their emotions and to know that some women are willing to embrace this side too. Well done I hope it is taken for what it is saying and not misunderstood. In this poem you have demonstrated you love the gentle side of men and a man being emotional is no sign of weakness but human.
"...you and your emotions are human..."
This line is so powerful even tho I'm not a guy. Men vulnerability is something that should be normalize. What I mean is that their emotions are valid and vulnerability is one of them. Society neglects men negative emotions sometimes because we expect them to be tough and strong as how they should be.
"Real man knows when to cry."
This is something that I strongly agree as everyone is not expected to be vulnerable all the time. I typed 'everyone' as it applies to all of us. Vulnerability is genderless and we just have to know when to be.
To all men out there, please know that your emotions are valid and showing it makes you human. A strong metal have weaknesses and so do you, but that doesn't make you less worthy. (not a native speaker sorry lol)
I wrote my first song in junior high school because there was something inside that had to get out. Crying got me chastised by adults and beaten up by other boys, but _singing_ my pain...through meticulously crafted lyrics...that helped people to understand me _and_ (it turns out) helped many of _them_ to feel understood, too. I never really _meant_ for others to hear my songs, but my choir teacher caught me working on one after school and all but _forced_ me...legs shaking...to share it with my fellow students. It ultimately, _literally_ saved my life.
Amazing Piece Of Poetry.
The comments in this video seem to be a lot more about people's pros and cons of society's expectations rather than actually discussing the poem presented by Sophia, I guess the poem was that powerful!
Great work Sophia and Ted
When my dog died,who I knew since birth,I wasn't allowed to cry. Not being able to has messed me up. Now it's harder for me to show emotions.
BELOVED MHEE, Connect with YOUR inner KNOWING (GOD/INNER BEING, HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS etc.) YOUR/OUR LOVES (DOGS etc.) are still with US (existing in the NON-PHYSICAL). YOU can get in touch with YOUR FEELINGS/emotions (and them)through meditation 🙏💚😇 CHECK OUT ABRAHAM/ESTHER HICKS🧚♀️🙌
I hope you're in a better place now mentally. And if not, I send strength.
Why weren’t you allowed to cry? I balled my eyes out when my dog died 2 years ago
I found myself crying halfway through. The way she spoke was mesmerising.
Women are allowed to feel sad, scared, lonely, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed- every negative emotion except anger. That is a problem. Men aren't allowed to express any negative emotion but anger. That is a bigger problem.
Most underrated Ted talk
I think she hits pretty well here. It's not that men don't feel or won't feel, it's that we cannot afford to show those negative emotions. The cost to our social status is too great. We're quite simply better off suppressing them, despite the damage this does. Suppressing them, we have a chance at working through them on our own, but if we express them even just once to the wrong person, they will forever haunt us.
Ever seen a man cry out of anger? It’s because he isn’t allowed to.
Wow! Such a beautiful message delivered in such a beautiful way
What an amazing talk. Thank you
Sophia is amazing!
Brilliant, just brilliant.
i think im in love very beautiful and well spoken woman and shes likes guys who cry! ive been hurt so this means a lot to me, and i too hide my feelings or try...
This is excellent!!
This video has made it abundantly clear to me, that no matter how hard I try I will never understand poetry.
as a person who has taught myself to not cry and not feel and not show emotions..this was so beautiful Thank you
beautiful spoken word
Love this has a allot truth to it but a change in the way men think is very difficult things are ingrained
This poem was awesome
She writes her speeches the same way she writes her poetry. Same as me. Love her
That was very pretty.
It’s hard to open up when half the time nobody cares and the other half of the time they simply don’t understand and try shoving solutions in your face as if they know what’s best for you. I’ve only found salvation in talking to my closest friends or brothers. It’s a societal issue. Everyone contributes to it
I think men need to sort this for themselves. Imagine a man telling women to show more or less emotion. They would be shut down immediately. That is the reason men don't show emotions because the women around them always have an opinion about it and never forget it. Look at the effect a man showing emotion had on her. Now if a woman cries the men in her life will comfort her and then let her move on. Women need to learn this before men will show their emotions to them.
wow...
🔥🔥🔥🔥
48k views? Unbeliveable
I can't put a pin on it but wow i rly love the "way" (i guess..?) She talks
Pretty 😍
😻😻 SHES TALKING ABOUT ME BRUH
I wish I had a girlfriend like that
Subtitles would have been nice
feeling?what pokemon is that?
Idk how you see this a a hatred poem
She sounds like she is repeating a poem she learned some time ago.
I don't know about you people, but I felt like this whole Ted talk was all about her. About how good she is with poetry, acting and how she was to some people. And not about men who suffer in silence.
No disrespect tho
This video did not resonate to me and for me being a man is role model. Being a man is cool. Maybe other people need this video but I don't.
Are you a man
@@zeeshawnstudios2086 yes
What a mad lad responding after 6 months
@@zeeshawnstudios2086 right now I am pretty much free. College is easygoing for now.
@@tokimedotozu3749 that's pretty great man. I hope you do well bro.
I can see why her boyfriend was crying...
I think this is a trap. Fellas, just tell your problems and such to your buddies and close male friends. No matter what a woman says, showing emotions towards them will result in them seeing you as weak which leads to loss of respect which leads to loss of attraction
Please not all women think this way and certainly a woman that loves you and truly respects you wouldn’t lose respect for you if she sees you crying. I think you should be able to let down your walls in front of your significant other even more than you can with your friends.
View No. 40,040😂
The workable pencil syntactically trouble because book intracellularly box vice a ceaseless plastic. parched, second-hand lightning
The dry believe early appear because camera constitutively hang barring a upbeat bomber. short, adventurous furniture
Nice talk, but overacting a bit too much.
Ice Freezer overreacting? that's how you should read poetry
She is a poet and what she said was more in the form of poetry and not speech. So it may come across as that, but do focus on her message.
Her articulation, cadence and flow said everything she wanted to convey through words and more. Her body language played an important part here too.