I have a suspicion that we aren't alone in the struggle of making friends as an adult but we really want to hear how you all have navigated this? I swear we're THIS close to joining a pickleball league just to meet some people 😂. If you ended up enjoying this week's episode, please make sure you give the video a thumbs up and chat with us in the comments (helps more than you know) ❤
Lucky for me, one of my current friends invited we to a movie night some of my fellow martial artists were going to. After that I felt more comfortable around them and developed friendships with a few other students. Through those students I met some other people. Now I have a close group of about eight friends. Being introverted less is more in the friendship department.
We are completely isolated in the country. We are dealing with extreme grief after the death of our granddaughter and then later our almost 13 year old puppy. We are so very alone. Edit. I don’t want more people than my husband and puppies. Second edit!! 😂🩵😂. We hung out with people from work and ALL we talked about was WORK!!! If I could go back in time I would never have worked there! It was a horrible government job that I felt forced to stay because I made too much money! Ugh!! Now I have heart disease and PTSD!! Rofl! Tangent after tangent!! 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s so rude. I hate it when I have company over for a meal and when I’m cleaning the dishes afterwards he gets on his phone and zones out. Would be nice to have a little conversation while I’m doing all the work.
What scares me at 53years old is how comfortable I am being alone.(with my fur babies) occasionally I need something or help and it’s very uncomfortable asking for help. You guys make me think about things (my life) and I know I’m not the only lost, confused person out here. Thank you for sharing and keeping us loner’s from being alone.
@@patriciamillin1977 I too have always enjoyed my alone time. And I am grateful for that. Must say life got so much better in my late 50's. I'm very content which releases lots of positivity. Being a voracious reader is key for me.
I’m 69 and spent a lot of time alone (20 years widow) but covid changed my perception and now looking for new next partner. I don’t want to be alone anymore and would rather share the journey now💕
72yo here. I was a hands-on owner of a cafe for my work career. Due to my daily interactions with regular customers - I would get home and appreciate the solitude with house and yard chores and my fur babies. In retrospect I realize that scenario served as 'faux' friendships. So since my retirement . . . I've automatically adapted that to people I run into regularly on dog walks and parks . . and . . neighbors for current 'faux' friends. Now with my 5-6 fav YT channels to serve as 'faux' families/friends . . . I'm all set. Not sure that it's healthy . . . but . . . I guess it frees me from ANY obligatory interactions.🤨
I'm 60, divorced, female and introverted. Growing up I did not feel like I could connect to people as well as so many others. I thought I was weird and maybe I didn't try hard enough. I too was in my 30's before I fully understood the way I was wired. I now like who I am, and only have a handful of close relationships. Others are acquaintances that I occasionally converse with or do anything with. I do care about them, but from within a boundary. Nothing wrong with you guys at all.
I'm extroverted and in my mid 60's. When my local happy hour bar closed 4 yrs ago due to covid, I found myself adrift. I thought by now, I would still have friends to meet up with etc. I have found, however, that my phone really doesn't ring, nor do I get texts. I don't have kids to rely on, so I just go out to a few of my favorite bars for happy hour, and sometimes, I meet up with old coworkers for lunch.
I was WELL into my forties before I allowed myself to be ok, and enjoy being alone. FOMO was strong with this one. Now, in my sixties, I may have ridden that pendulum right to the other extreme. Go out with people? Why? 😂 My partner is as bad as I am. Retirement later this year will be interesting. 🎉
I am 100% with you . I will not wait in a line, ever! I love being home, I am not interested in friendships.. I am fine with helping my neighbors with issues, but do not care to socialize regularly with them.
My husband and I didn’t want to put ourselves out to form friends as we had each other, then he died and I had no one. It took quite a few years to cultivate a few friends, it’s a good thing I enjoyed my own company 😊
I went to my first movie alone when I was 17 - I went bec none of my friends wanted to see the film so I went . Next day when I was discussing how good the film was everyone was shocked that I went alone . And I have been going alone to movies ever since. I will usually invite a friend but if they can’t make it I go any way . Same with restaurants - If there aren’t any friends available that evening and I am hungry off I go. I am 67 yrs old . I love my friend group of friends and I also love my own company .
I love solo movie trips - been doing it for 40 years - now in my 60s! Only thing I find weird is other people still find that weird! I also have 2 groups of gal pals I met at work and even though we now all work elsewhere we still meetup regularly and that’s been over 15 years or so!
I love going to movies by myself...no listening to someone complaining that the volume is too high or someone sat too close. Also love going out for a really nice high end lunch by myself...my SO only likes to go to brew pubs and steak houses and I get tired of that so I choose an expensive place to enjoy and go by myself. I take a good book and relax.
I never knew how ghosting became so popular in the past 15-20 years, but it helps me to separate the wheat from the chaff! That being said I love looking out for the fur babies in your programmes, and I adore so much of the work you put into your vlogs and podcasts. Thank you.
I know that feeling I had a so-called friend give me an ultimatum & so I said f-this & now hang out with my family & when Mommy 🐿️ & 🐜 are gone then it would just be me sitting at home alone.
I am a much older widow but over the last 6-7 years I have "divorced" some "friends ". I currently have very few close friends (if any) but lots of acquaintances. Thank you for putting voice to this subject! Love tangents!
I am a total introvert, I plucked up courage to join a tai chi class 3 weeks ago, trying to fit in I new was going to be hard, but really now I am there I don’t care, as the class is an art and is for my own wellbeing, I realized that the hardest thing was actually walking through the door 😢 x
No pressure for me, I have 1 best friend I talk to every week and see a few times a month at her house otherwise I stay home with my husband and animals except when I have to go to work. It sucks all my energy out when I have to go out in public. Staying home, reading books, gardening, watching movies, watching few vloggers/podcasts now that's my cup of tea ☺
“Should” is a word that always seems to preface social construct dictates. Everyone “should” be able to just be themselves and feel good about it. I really identified with what you guys said, because I’m an introvert also.
My husband and I left NS for Edmonton for 6 years(1977-1983) before we moved back to Halifax so I understand how hard it was.My daughter left Charlottetown for South Carolina in January 2020 by herself.We know what happened with Covid,she didn’t get to make any friends or see anyone from home for 2 years.Luckily she loved the job she went there for and moved into a house her second year there and discovered gardening and other hobbies.Since then she joined a gardening club and book clubs to meet people.I’m amazed at her bravery to be able to do it!
I hope this episode doesn’t make me cry…The one 2 weeks ago left me a wreck. You touched on a couple of topics that hit very close to the heart . You guys made it through without shedding a tear, but I didn’t. These episodes are a roller coaster, and I’m here for it, tear-inducing or not. Ready for the experience on Friday….jigsaw puzzle at the ready. 💕
Love you guys. The topics, the insightfulness, the comradery, and the love is just what I need. Thank you universe for bringing Todd & Tyler (and then Tangents) into my life (from a utube suggestion). ❤
about 50 years ago I took a pottery class that has changed my life . Im 76 now and teach a pottery class..my circle of friends are mostly artists and fellow potters …
I love this definition of lonely: "Loneliness is the love you want to give, but not having a place to give it" She talked about investing love into activities and self care, not just people. This really hit home for me.
Just discovered Tyler and Todd today. As a result my outdoor work plans were soon lost as a result. I first enjoyed a dozen videos on You tube and then discovered Tangents with Tyler and Todd. I so enjoyed this past hour plus listening to the two of you. I have become a fan of your breath of fresh air and honesty. My partner Joseph were together for 30 years until his passing 14 years ago. Your relationship is similar to what our was and it gives me peace knowing that there are others out there similar to what we had. Hugs from afar to your family of five........
I live on 20 acres in the desert with my dog and find I am happiest with about 2-3 social interactions of any kind per week. When I used to live in NYC or whenever the opportunity presents itself, however, I enjoy being in a crowd and feel energized by it. I would say most of the people I know are unable to just be by themselves and are often in sub-par relationships because they would put up with nearly anything to avoid solitude. I feel it's a big advantage to be content alone. It makes you better friends to others, because you are not that needy.
I have spent most of my life taking care of family and friends, always the one that reached out, now retired I only have approximately 4 friends I am in touch with very sporadically and even my children seldom have time and I still need to ask to spend time with the grandchildren. I have learned to enjoy my time in nature and my k9 companion is my best friend. I had to grieve many layers in the first two years of retirement but now am comfortable with my own company and no longer spend long periods feeling abandoned by my family and friends as they no longer need me. Moving forward
Such an important conversation. I am 77 years old and it gets harder and harder to make and keep friendships with each decade. It is worth keeping this friendship muscle strong however, because purpose and connection are the two things that make life worthwhile in the third act.
Ooooo I totally feel you guys on this! I spend literally 40 hours at work with people I don't necessarily consider friends, and the thought of having to put myself out there around more people I don't know on the precious weekend, to potentially meet a new friend, gives me major icks. My husband is literally my best friend, and I have a few other close girlfriends that I'm grateful for, and that's all this introverted gal can handle😂
I too am an introvert (and sometimes a situational extrovert) and I agree with Tyler about friends from work. I had really good work friends and if we hung out after work it was great. But I never had them over to my house and I was never invited over to theirs. Sure I’d go to a coworker’s wedding or baby shower but never hung out with them on weekends. They were WORK friends and that was fine with me. In fact I preferred it. Very interesting podcast. Have a great week!😊
I totally agree, my husband and I moved another state for 8 years. It was very difficult making new friends. We moved back to our home state. Our old friends moved on like they will. I find it difficult to merge back in and pick up where we left off when all of us have changed.
As a fellow introvert, this one clicked a lot of boxes! My job requires a lot of personal interaction and I just want my "me time" by the time I get home. Ask me to give a speech in front of hundreds of people, no problem - been there done that and it doesn't bother me one bit - but to mingle in a throng of hundreds of people is a challenge. I have a very small group of friends and we always do something rather than just hang out. And as fellow introverts, they understand that it's ok to not talk every moment and to just enjoy being in each others presence. Thanks for sharing, the lifestyle of an introvert isn't talked about much, so it's nice to hear there are others like me!
Being in a small community, people are more friendly . You guys are good at communicating I can't help but feel like a know you, and love how your life's are evolving and your willingness to share your thoughts. And I also feel that social media does keep people isolated.Though I'm sure you two have alot of people in your life
LOL..Todd there are these things called indoor/outdoor thermometers that require no internet connection . I know it is old tech, but just hang it up by the door and you can save your ankles from freezing!!😅 I found that I had work friends/family with whom I did not meet outside work. I found that I just did not have the energy to do so. I relate to the feelings of being comfortable in my skin by myself. You can be alone yet not lonely. I am 74 yo and I agree that it is harder for introverts to make friends as you get older. I used to love going to movies or eating by myself. Since Covid not as much. I have never enjoyed shopping and could get frustrated just like Todd said. Now with curbside service I can just order it and someone else shops for me and brings it to my car. Love it !!! Thank God for Amazon!!! To be a social media creator does put you in that space of having strangers know about you and feel they can be familiar with you even though you do not know them. I appreciate you sharing these feelings. It helps others understand themselves better and know it is okay to not have hundreds of " friends". Better to have a few good friends than many mediocre ones. Best wishes from San Antonio, Texas, USA.
I've never had trouble making friends as an adult, but most of my adult friends were gained through hobbies of mine that involve some kind of club. So, I attended meetings, got involved, and had social connections while participating in hobbies I enjoy. I also met many friends, in person, who I first met on the Internet via gaming, or online chat forums for some of my interests. I guess my advice for those who struggle is to find something you really like to do, and find a group of people who like that too. Nothing breaks the ice like someone asking you to show them something really cool you've done.
My husband and I are the same way. We have a few other friends, but we have weeded out the drama friends. We could never have a party because only 6 people would be invited..😅 and that's fine with us. I just love you 2. Thanks for all the fun, adventures, and sharing your love with us all. I'd invite you 2 for sure if I ever had a party. 🎉❤
I’m in a local food group and when the 50% off thing got discontinued there were damn near riots, and honestly there probably should have been. Someone mentioned that they’d go there really early in the morning before work and pick up a salad for 50% for lunch that day but with the 30% off they couldn’t afford it anymore and it’s way more expensive to buy the ingredients separately, especially as a single person where they might go bad before you could finish them. That little anecdote just stuck with me. My own story on the internet, the last apartment I moved into I had ordered a modem for delivery under the information they had that we had a certain kind of connection. It showed up late, we didn’t have that connection and it was going to be a month before they could get anyone out to install it, A MONTH!! I ended up going to the office in person, returning the router, dissing their desk plant and going with Bell who only took a week to come install (which was still kind of ridiculous but it was a university city with a lot of move ins and I was late due to the first company). It sucked but my roommate and I just used school wifi and stayed late to get stuff done. I hate being connected constantly but it’s also extremely hard with the pressures of our world not to be.
I have the extrovert life. The different groups of friends. Lots of different hobbies, however, I do like being on my own away from people too. You both love each others company and that is beautiful. Relationships like that are few and far between. 💕💕💕
I am really enjoying your tangent discussions. Like you I don't need a lot of friends, but I need a core. As well, not good at small talk! I guess because I am a holistic coach, I really enjoy deeper conversations that help me see the real you, therefore small talk is meaningless to me. No purpose! Thanks for revealing the real you guys!
THANK YOU SO MUCH🥰LISTENING TO THE TWO OF YOU IS LIKE WHEN YOUR HAVING THAT MORNING CUP OF COFFEE OR TEA,,,NEVER STOP ENJOYING EACH DAY OF YOUR LIVES💞💖💗💕❣
We have been together 33 years. We have the same story. Good friends have alway been had to find. Especially for couples. You have to find a “community” to join. For us it was a community choir. It took a while but relationships were built. We’ve met wonderful people. Our friends who have joined the softball league, the bowling league or dinner clubs have had the same results. We have found that bars have not been a good place to make friends.
I am not coupled. I have a handful of friends. We keep our space and enjoy our time together. And we allow for spontaneous get-togethers. Less pressure! I enjoy groups and laughing and having fun. But I recharge alone. There is peace in keeping things simple and meaningful!
At 60 & having the realisation that I’m now an introvert I’m happiest doing everything alone. I’ve had 10 years of intense therapy & now everyday surface conversations just leave me cold. Give me a quality psychoanalytic book or podcast, my journal & a a stint of travelling & I’m blissed. All that friend pressure fills my head with unwanted dynamics I don’t want to ruminate on. A good walk in nature is the best friend I have.
I used to be very social, with lots of friends... After being betrayed by my life long "best friend" and estrangement from family, I tend to mistrust people. Anyone who knows me, would say that I can talk 'til your ears bleed, (😂) But... I cannot DO small-talk, and am socially-phobic. I am open to making new friends, but it's definitely harder, the older you get, IMO.
A quick review on Amazon reveals multiple large analog outdoor thermometers accurate to -60°F/-50°C. Looking out the window should be just as easy as asking Alexa/Siri...and probably more accurate for your exact location.
I love your honesty! I’m watching this on my Tv and responding on my iPad. I am a 68 year old woman and I am a total introvert. No apologies. I have so many friends, some I have had since I was 5 years old, they don’t all know each other and some of them know me differently than others. Only because they knew me at different points in my life. Some day, I would love for them all to meet. It would be a hilarious night! They all accept me for who I am and all know I’m an introvert. I think they know I’m honest and trustworthy and love them regardless of any differences. Just enjoy life. The best thing is that you both accept yourself and enjoy the time you have together.
I resonate with both of you. I cannot be amongst people that shoot the shit and talk bullshit. I love deep hearted conversations with people that know where I’m coming from. Sending hugs to both of you, sorry for the loss of your granddad. 💜☮️☯️🔮
Wow! You two were very “tangenty” today! I love the way your minds work. You’re both very quick witted. I always enjoy your videos but today had me smiling extra big!
Five years ago, my husband, daughter and I moved from CA to OH. We left behind most of our family and all of our friends to live closer to our son, his wife and our grandkids. It's very difficult to start over in your 60's. Add to that Covid hit. The worst of it was my husband died two years after moving here. Two of my best friends have also died since we moved, with a third nearing her end, as we speak. I'm out-living those who have known me best - who have shared history with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm active in my church, I tutor (reading) at an outreach center with kids and adults, I've joined a couple of clubs that have shared interests with me. But I still feel very much alone. Friendship grows out of shared experiences and spending time together. It's so difficult to find someone.... anyone that has the time and desire to pursue deep, lasting friendship in today's climate.
My husband and I used to go to BevMo which is a huge liquor store and they happen to have wine tasting every Saturday.🍷 We ended up meeting lots of like-minded individuals, and we formed this Wine Group that gets together now and then at our homes. There’s about 30 of us in this group and we take turns having house parties and it’s been about 15 years since we formed this group. everyone brings a bottle of wine and a dish to share. Lots of good times🍷🍷😎🌈
I am very introverted. Back in my 30's and 40's I used to go out on weekends with friends, etc, but realized that I was way out of my comfort zone. I felt that I was portraying myself as someone I wasn't. Today, my circle is very small and consists of my lifetime fiance (🤣 we'll be engaged but not married, forever) and our combined 8 kids and 5 grandbabes. I will venture out to see a high school friend a couple times a year but other than that, I spend my best moments with my family. I think the reality for me is when looking back, the "friends" that I spent so many weekends with for so many years have all moved on, as have I, and our friendship was never close to begin with.
Based on experience as a 67yo, meet people in person as much as possible. I volunteer at the local animal shelter and have made friends (I’m a seasoned introvert but I love friends). Volunteer, meetup groups for something you love or want to learn. Having a common interest is an automatic shoe in the door. Love the podcast, or whatever this is.
Todd! So true about social media decreasing our conversations. Love the visual of the beach picture and not having a conversation because you know the answers based on the picture. So true!
I'm 69 years old and retired. I haven't had any friends for many years. I got tired of feeling like they were only talking to me to find out what was going on with me so they would have some big things they could talk about behind my back with the other friends. Not worth my time and effort. Love you guys so much!!
Raising my children, I always seemed to find myself in very social situations. At heart, I’m a homebody, and I love solitude. I used to beat myself up that because I love solitude so much I must not be a good friend. But I’ve learned that’s just not true. I’m 55, I have two great friends close by and one that lives far away. I nurture those friendships. If I meet people in social situations, they just become acquaintances. I’ve gotten rid of the pressure of trying to keep up with everybody. And I’m OK with that. I loved this podcast so much it was funny and it hit home! Love you guys! 🍷 ❤️
Pandemic, fear of difference, shaming, greed, fear all create separation. I have awareness of raising vibration attracts others seeking higher vibrational living. It's a shift from "Victim, Volunteer or Empowered"... It's a mindset and a choice. Live an esteemable life, those kinds of choices are CONSCIOUS choices. Others living in the same energy will be attracted.
you guys are spot on with the "small social battery!" It was like you were reading my mind. My husband and I almost never go out and we love it! We enjoy family visits but are ecstatic to come home. And you're right that most people feel this way. Keep up the tangential tirades! Love it.
I prefer one on one conversations. But I have friends who prefer spending time with a group. (One of these "extroverts" admitted that staying busy can be a way she avoids self exploration.) There are about ten people I talk to about personal matters. Out of those ten, two share a house with me. We are in retirement age. I live in a small town filled with artists. So it's pretty easy to connect with others. Waldorf Schools are a strong influence here and there are several buildings that have been converted into gathering places for art, music, yoga, meditation, theater, etc.. The cool thing is that if you decide to go alone to one of these events, put on by those who live in this town, you always feel that you are part of the community.
From two introverts here, we completely agree and your words resonate with us. When we moved out of the city to our cabin, we realized just how introverted we are. But it's been a unique balance enjoying the company of each other while also hosting out-of-town friends when we can (since it seems they also want to escape the city to chill in the mountains). By the way, great choice of Pendleton mugs! We have the same ones. Cheers, y'all.
When I was a young adult into my 40’s I went to dances and night clubs with my friends. When I look back on that I realize I was never comfortable in those environments. It was what I thought we did to meet people I guess. But honestly it never led to anything good 😅. Now I live by this, I only do what’s best for me. What’s interesting is that when I follow that it always works out best not just for me but for those around me. I think a good life is all about loving yourself and being kind to others. Of course I do stumble but I always get back on track now. I just wish I knew I loved myself when I was younger ❤
I totally understand the whole friendship thing. I, too, am an introvert. My husband, on the other hand, is the extrovert social butterfly, he loves large gatherings, being out and about, meeting new people etc. Whereas I struggle with all of that, mostly because I know I am a bit socially awkward and find it difficult to connect with other people.
Todd, I gave everyone in my department bubbles and when the stress level was high, I would go into the room, crank up some good music and say BUBBLE DANCE TIME! We would do this for like 5 mins and get back to work but it helped break the stress if even for a short time.
Also an introvert, my best friend is my dog (besides my wife). He goes on errands with me, coffee dates, shopping in stores he can come in with me. I have conversations with him and I really feel his emotional support. I love my trip to the barber (4 years seeing the same one), massage appointment (same therapist 3 years), physio (same therapist 4 years), and psychologist (3 years). They are odd connections but they are consistent and these people have journeyed with me through life. I have a few close friends too but I do prefer my time alone (with dog and wife). No shame here!! Embrace who you are and how you are wired!!
Sorry guys! Todd has me chuckling about not being able to ask Alexa the temperature. Darlin’ there’s this invention called a thermometer! You can get one that shows the outside temp on a monitor inside. But, you two are so much fun, and so honest. I had to step back in and comment on the Tea Time tangent: you both are so right about being clear in your own mind about what a position (or more likely a title) means to you. What will you get out of it and what will you have to expend in energy and emotion to make it work. As for money, yes getting paid well is wonderful, but what if you’re being paid well to do a job with a lot of responsibility but have no authority in decision making, or equality with other managers? That is incredibly frustrating. Thank you both for your “tangents” and thoughtful, often hilarious, consideration of Tea Time questions.
You guys are so truthful. Younger versions of my partner and myself. We treasure a tight knit group of friends and truly enjoy small social gatherings. We love our private time. To us a nice home, home cooking, and an occasional getaway is way better than expensive cars and keeping up with the Jones’s.
Oh boys, I just had this same conversation with a close friend. Both of us are single Lesbians. We are both intolerant of people we don’t want to have in our lives and the social circle is becoming very small. But - different from you two we are in our late 60’s. Keep the good friends close and cherish your time with them and your time together. When you do find other friends you want in your life cultivate the friendship. Take care and keep the videos coming, we love all you do and your independence. Kelly.
Lovely to see Charlie snoozing away between you! I found by my 30s, I went for quality and not quantity in friendships. By then I had weeded out the frivolous bonds, the drinking buddies and the flakes. To be honest, as an introvert, there’s a limit to how many people I have the energy for and want to have a real conversation or connection with. I often wonder that by staying connected online, we’re unknowingly draining our social energy for in-person interactions. Love the podcast! Always interesting topics! p.s. Rogers isn’t any better.
I agree, I used to go out to 'the club' every weekend and had people that I knew that I met up with. In my 40's and 50's now it has changed. I work retail and once I am done my day I am done with people. Social settings are now few and far between. I agree with Tyler, I find social settings draining. Family is my main social setting now and I find that time easier to deal with but I have a limit there too. Many acquaintances here but if I get invites, the closer to the date of said event I end up declining. My x from over 20 years ago and his husband consistently try to get me to come out. Last time though I had gotten covid around Christmas so it was legit.
Hi, I have been married for 53 years. We live in the Sierras of California. I have long time friends from high school, that I get together with once a year. I have very few friends in my daily life. I find it is very hard to make new friends now. I only leave the house to take walks, shop for groceries or go to an appointment. I believe everything has a season. My time of being involved in lots of social groups was when my kids were growing up. They are grown and on their own now, and this is my season to “just be”, and I am enjoying the ride.
I’m finally living alone for the first time in my life… As of 2 years ago. And it’s been the MOST transformative time. I’m so happy you both were able to be open to learning who YOU are as Individuals. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to let another person into my life… but I’m so glad to know that there are couples like you out in the world- It gives me hope. Best of luck with the new Modem! -love from the land of cell service
I have belonged to a small organization for a couple of decades. We have many meetings, either on the phone or via Zoom. So now I have friends all around the country (I live in the US), and even a few in other countries. I love being able to see some of them when I travel. And some of them have become life-long friends.
I naturally make friends with anyone and everyone. I have a friend that I've known for about 20 years who I met in an airport. I'm super, super social and my family hates walking into a restaurant first, calling in a delivery order, asking a stranger for directions, etc. So I always do it. I learned during the pandemic tho...I do need quiet time and alone time. I didn't realize how much. So I feel now I have a better balance.
I get Tyler, I’m absolutely the same way. I’m not going to make the effort, I love my independence and I’m not the needy type that needs a social calendar.
Todd, i so understand about the shopping. Its so overwhelming. I've left full carts at Walmart. My husband does all the purchases. I don't enjoy it. Too many decisions.
It comes back to the superficial nature of so many people who like to think they know everything about you because they might know 1 small thing. They weren’t there but they have already decided what is going on. It’s a dynamic where people think they know you based on a kind of second hand information. Someone might think they know who you are and respond as if they do because for example you are gay and they think they know what this means, or because you are Canadian & they think they know what that is. Or because I am this or I am that. It happens to so many because people make assumptions without really making that personal connection first. You have highlighted this in a way we can all relate to, it’s an important observation about the way people can be shallow and even insensitive. What we love about you is your natural ability to be in the heart. A good thing for all of us.
I am a 79 year old widow and I live by myself with my 3 indoor cats and 3 outdoor stray or semi feral cats. I live in a duplex in a cul de sac and have a wonderful neighbor who occupies the other half of the duplex. I am alone but not lonely. I am comfortable with myself. I worked until I was 70 and there were days when I couldn't wait to get home to peace and quiet. I moved to my current state and left my good friends in Maryland and several have since died and it was hard not to be able tobe present for them. Fortunately I have 2 of my children close and that makes all the difference. I have always been pretty much a loner so I am fine as long as. I have my books, cats and recently UA-cam 😊 I love this weekly visit with you too and I also watch every Sunday ❤
One hard part of forming adult friendships seems finally getting connection, then sweet familiarity, and then judgments happen, on both sides. Most are so subtle you might not even be aware of them, but it causes an inner shift.
We might still take some time from our regular Sunday videos. Its a much more intimate (and time consuming) process of bringing y'all along for our whole week. Hope you understand ❤
@@tangentswithtylerandtodd Of course. I'm always shocked when creators feel a need to apologize for taking personal time for whatever reason. You are by no means beholden to any of us. Take all the time you need. We'll be patiently waiting. Thank you both for all your time and hardwork.
@@Dragonmoon1598 It seems to be easy for us followers to believe that we are customers here. I mean, if we go to the grocery shop and order some apples, and the sales clerk says nope, I won't let you buy any apples today! Then we get sorely mad. At the grocery shop, that's ok. But here at Tyler and Todd's we're not customers. We are followers, supporters, appreciators, honored guests. We should remember that, and not get mad when Tyler and Todd need some time off. cheers! / CS
As busy as you two are your feelings about people are fine. Let people judge. They don’t live your life! Love your podcasts and sharing your journey’s with you. Thank you. Love your fur babie❤️
I have a suspicion that we aren't alone in the struggle of making friends as an adult but we really want to hear how you all have navigated this? I swear we're THIS close to joining a pickleball league just to meet some people 😂. If you ended up enjoying this week's episode, please make sure you give the video a thumbs up and chat with us in the comments (helps more than you know) ❤
Lucky for me, one of my current friends invited we to a movie night some of my fellow martial artists were going to. After that I felt more comfortable around them and developed friendships with a few other students. Through those students I met some other people. Now I have a close group of about eight friends. Being introverted less is more in the friendship department.
That is so awesome. It's nice to have a friend that's already in the mix so it can be more of a warm intro!@@Dragonmoon1598
Oh, the tea time. I can't believe you picked mine. What a difference couple of months make, oh had to give you the trist but on patron ❤❤
The way I look at it......if you keep your circle small there's less drama....
We are completely isolated in the country. We are dealing with extreme grief after the death of our granddaughter and then later our almost 13 year old puppy. We are so very alone. Edit. I don’t want more people than my husband and puppies. Second edit!! 😂🩵😂. We hung out with people from work and ALL we talked about was WORK!!! If I could go back in time I would never have worked there! It was a horrible government job that I felt forced to stay because I made too much money! Ugh!! Now I have heart disease and PTSD!! Rofl! Tangent after tangent!! 😂😂😂😂😂
I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself. But I do find myself feeling lonely when I'm with a group of people and they're all on their phones .
Totally!!! Like being alone in a crowded room!
Excellent point!
Totally agree!
This is so annoying! It’s like why even bother when you can just be happy at home with a furbaby.
It’s so rude. I hate it when I have company over for a meal and when I’m cleaning the dishes afterwards he gets on his phone and zones out. Would be nice to have a little conversation while I’m doing all the work.
I love that y'all say "this is a bit of a tangent" and we're like five tangents in. Y'all are just the best and please never change. 💜
You are both spot on about the monopoly , greed and power hungry companies who care nothing about us.
It takes so much energy to keep connected with friends. I'm content to drink my tea and read a book at home.
What scares me at 53years old is how comfortable I am being alone.(with my fur babies) occasionally I need something or help and it’s very uncomfortable asking for help. You guys make me think about things (my life) and I know I’m not the only lost, confused person out here. Thank you for sharing and keeping us loner’s from being alone.
Hey Remember I know what you mean
I used to be so sociable and now I go weeks without leaving the house.
I’m 69 and habe always enjoyed solitude. Like you, I just feel comfortable with it. You’re not alone 😊
@@patriciamillin1977 I too have always enjoyed my alone time. And I am grateful for that. Must say life got so much better in my late 50's. I'm very content which releases lots of positivity. Being a voracious reader is key for me.
I’m 69 and spent a lot of time alone (20 years widow) but covid changed my perception and now looking for new next partner. I don’t want to be alone anymore and would rather share the journey now💕
72yo here. I was a hands-on owner of a cafe for my work career. Due to my daily interactions with regular customers - I would get home and appreciate the solitude with house and yard chores and my fur babies. In retrospect I realize that scenario served as 'faux' friendships. So since my retirement . . . I've automatically adapted that to people I run into regularly on dog walks and parks . . and . . neighbors for current 'faux' friends. Now with my 5-6 fav YT channels to serve as 'faux' families/friends . . . I'm all set. Not sure that it's healthy . . . but . . . I guess it frees me from ANY obligatory interactions.🤨
I'm 60, divorced, female and introverted. Growing up I did not feel like I could connect to people as well as so many others. I thought I was weird and maybe I didn't try hard enough.
I too was in my 30's before I fully understood the way I was wired. I now like who I am, and only have a handful of close relationships. Others are acquaintances that I occasionally converse with or do anything with. I do care about them, but from within a boundary. Nothing wrong with you guys at all.
I'm extroverted and in my mid 60's. When my local happy hour bar closed 4 yrs ago due to covid, I found myself adrift. I thought by now, I would still have friends to meet up with etc. I have found, however, that my phone really doesn't ring, nor do I get texts. I don't have kids to rely on, so I just go out to a few of my favorite bars for happy hour, and sometimes, I meet up with old coworkers for lunch.
I was WELL into my forties before I allowed myself to be ok, and enjoy being alone. FOMO was strong with this one. Now, in my sixties, I may have ridden that pendulum right to the other extreme. Go out with people? Why? 😂 My partner is as bad as I am. Retirement later this year will be interesting. 🎉
I am 100% with you . I will not wait in a line, ever! I love being home, I am not interested in friendships.. I am fine with helping my neighbors with issues, but do not care to socialize regularly with them.
My husband and I didn’t want to put ourselves out to form friends as we had each other, then he died and I had no one. It took quite a few years to cultivate a few friends, it’s a good thing I enjoyed my own company 😊
I'm in that same situation it's been 7 years since I lost my husband and I can count on one hand the true friends that I have
Sorry about your loss
I remember how embarrassed I felt the first time I went to the movies alone. I got over it-- I love going to the movies alone now.
I went to my first movie alone when I was 17 - I went bec none of my friends wanted to see the film so I went . Next day when I was discussing how good the film was everyone was shocked that I went alone . And I have been going alone to movies ever since. I will usually invite a friend but if they can’t make it I go any way . Same with restaurants - If there aren’t any friends available that evening and I am hungry off I go. I am 67 yrs old . I love my friend group of friends and I also love my own company .
Seeing movies by myself is my favorite. It lets me really get into the feels of the movie in a way I can't if I'm with others.
I love solo movie trips - been doing it for 40 years - now in my 60s! Only thing I find weird is other people still find that weird! I also have 2 groups of gal pals I met at work and even though we now all work elsewhere we still meetup regularly and that’s been over 15 years or so!
I love going to movies by myself...no listening to someone complaining that the volume is too high or someone sat too close. Also love going out for a really nice high end lunch by myself...my SO only likes to go to brew pubs and steak houses and I get tired of that so I choose an expensive place to enjoy and go by myself. I take a good book and relax.
Making friends as adults is terrible so hard. You think someone is your friend until they backstab you and then they wonder what happened
lolll I mean, you're really not wrong there!! it's dog eat dog out here!
@@tangentswithtylerandtodd I rather talk to my dog 🐕
I never knew how ghosting became so popular in the past 15-20 years, but it helps me to separate the wheat from the chaff!
That being said I love looking out for the fur babies in your programmes, and I adore so much of the work you put into your vlogs and podcasts. Thank you.
I know that feeling I had a so-called friend give me an ultimatum & so I said f-this & now hang out with my family & when Mommy 🐿️ & 🐜 are gone then it would just be me sitting at home alone.
I am a much older widow but over the last 6-7 years I have "divorced" some "friends ". I currently have very few close friends (if any) but lots of acquaintances. Thank you for putting voice to this subject! Love tangents!
I found that friends either break your heart or die and since I’m in my 40’s I don’t know how to make friends or even trust people anymore. It’s hard!
I feel you, Cindy... Imagine being 20 years older and single (I'm 62!).
I agree 🙃
I'm 56 and have had several good friends pass away over the years. It's sad to lose them
Totally agree
I got so tired of being the one to keep the friendships going! Always planning what we would do. Made me feel like they just don’t really care
I am a total introvert, I plucked up courage to join a tai chi class 3 weeks ago, trying to fit in I new was going to be hard, but really now I am there I don’t care, as the class is an art and is for my own wellbeing, I realized that the hardest thing was actually walking through the door 😢 x
No pressure for me, I have 1 best friend I talk to every week and see a few times a month at her house otherwise I stay home with my husband and animals except when I have to go to work. It sucks all my energy out when I have to go out in public. Staying home, reading books, gardening, watching movies, watching few vloggers/podcasts now that's my cup of tea ☺
“Should” is a word that always seems to preface social construct dictates. Everyone “should” be able to just be themselves and feel good about it. I really identified with what you guys said, because I’m an introvert also.
My husband and I left NS for Edmonton for 6 years(1977-1983) before we moved back to Halifax so I understand how hard it was.My daughter left Charlottetown for South Carolina in January 2020 by herself.We know what happened with Covid,she didn’t get to make any friends or see anyone from home for 2 years.Luckily she loved the job she went there for and moved into a house her second year there and discovered gardening and other hobbies.Since then she joined a gardening club and book clubs to meet people.I’m amazed at her bravery to be able to do it!
Their is so much sadness. We are all looking for inner peace. Dont give up
Hope yall bring this back…was very fun
I hope this episode doesn’t make me cry…The one 2 weeks ago left me a wreck. You touched on a couple of topics that hit very close to the heart . You guys made it through without shedding a tear, but I didn’t. These episodes are a roller coaster, and I’m here for it, tear-inducing or not. Ready for the experience on Friday….jigsaw puzzle at the ready. 💕
Love you guys. The topics, the insightfulness, the comradery, and the love is just what I need. Thank you universe for bringing Todd & Tyler (and then Tangents) into my life (from a utube suggestion). ❤
about 50 years ago I took a pottery class that has changed my life . Im 76 now and teach a pottery class..my circle of friends are mostly artists and fellow potters …
I love this definition of lonely:
"Loneliness is the love you want to give, but not having a place to give it"
She talked about investing love into activities and self care, not just people. This really hit home for me.
Just discovered Tyler and Todd today. As a result my outdoor work plans were soon lost as a result. I first enjoyed a dozen videos on You tube and then discovered Tangents with Tyler and Todd. I so enjoyed this past hour plus listening to the two of you. I have become a fan of your breath of fresh air and honesty. My partner Joseph were together for 30 years until his passing 14 years ago. Your relationship is similar to what our was and it gives me peace knowing that there are others out there similar to what we had. Hugs from afar to your family of five........
I live on 20 acres in the desert with my dog and find I am happiest with about 2-3 social interactions of any kind per week. When I used to live in NYC or whenever the opportunity presents itself, however, I enjoy being in a crowd and feel energized by it. I would say most of the people I know are unable to just be by themselves and are often in sub-par relationships because they would put up with nearly anything to avoid solitude. I feel it's a big advantage to be content alone. It makes you better friends to others, because you are not that needy.
I have spent most of my life taking care of family and friends, always the one that reached out, now retired I only have approximately 4 friends I am in touch with very sporadically and even my children seldom have time and I still need to ask to spend time with the grandchildren. I have learned to enjoy my time in nature and my k9 companion is my best friend. I had to grieve many layers in the first two years of retirement but now am comfortable with my own company and no longer spend long periods feeling abandoned by my family and friends as they no longer need me. Moving forward
Ditto!
I’m sure you’ll stir up many conversations in this chat.
Take as long as you need to take. ❤️ us ‘introverts’ are going nowhere. 😉❤️xx
Such an important conversation. I am 77 years old and it gets harder and harder to make and keep friendships with each decade. It is worth keeping this friendship muscle strong however, because purpose and connection are the two things that make life worthwhile in the third act.
Ooooo I totally feel you guys on this! I spend literally 40 hours at work with people I don't necessarily consider friends, and the thought of having to put myself out there around more people I don't know on the precious weekend, to potentially meet a new friend, gives me major icks. My husband is literally my best friend, and I have a few other close girlfriends that I'm grateful for, and that's all this introverted gal can handle😂
I too am an introvert (and sometimes a situational extrovert) and I agree with Tyler about friends from work. I had really good work friends and if we hung out after work it was great. But I never had them over to my house and I was never invited over to theirs. Sure I’d go to a coworker’s wedding or baby shower but never hung out with them on weekends. They were WORK friends and that was fine with me. In fact I preferred it. Very interesting podcast. Have a great week!😊
I totally agree, my husband and I moved another state for 8 years. It was very difficult making new friends. We moved back to our home state. Our old friends moved on like they will. I find it difficult to merge back in and pick up where we left off when all of us have changed.
Having someone to be really close with is the greatest gift of life. Pure luxury ❤
Hoping the Tangents return come winter ❤
As a fellow introvert, this one clicked a lot of boxes! My job requires a lot of personal interaction and I just want my "me time" by the time I get home. Ask me to give a speech in front of hundreds of people, no problem - been there done that and it doesn't bother me one bit - but to mingle in a throng of hundreds of people is a challenge. I have a very small group of friends and we always do something rather than just hang out. And as fellow introverts, they understand that it's ok to not talk every moment and to just enjoy being in each others presence. Thanks for sharing, the lifestyle of an introvert isn't talked about much, so it's nice to hear there are others like me!
I LOVE that you guys are taking on these courageous topics like real estate market and phone companies…lately! Way to go!
Being in a small community, people are more friendly . You guys are good at communicating I can't help but feel like a know you, and love how your life's are evolving and your willingness to share your thoughts. And I also feel that social media does keep people isolated.Though I'm sure you two have alot of people in your life
LOL..Todd there are these things called indoor/outdoor thermometers that require no internet connection . I know it is old tech, but just hang it up by the door and you can save your ankles from freezing!!😅 I found that I had work friends/family with whom I did not meet outside work. I found that I just did not have the energy to do so. I relate to the feelings of being comfortable in my skin by myself. You can be alone yet not lonely. I am 74 yo and I agree that it is harder for introverts to make friends as you get older. I used to love going to movies or eating by myself. Since Covid not as much. I have never enjoyed shopping and could get frustrated just like Todd said. Now with curbside service I can just order it and someone else shops for me and brings it to my car. Love it !!! Thank God for Amazon!!!
To be a social media creator does put you in that space of having strangers know about you and feel they can be familiar with you even though you do not know them. I appreciate you sharing these feelings. It helps others understand themselves better and know it is okay to not have hundreds of " friends". Better to have a few good friends than many mediocre ones.
Best wishes from San Antonio, Texas, USA.
I've never had trouble making friends as an adult, but most of my adult friends were gained through hobbies of mine that involve some kind of club. So, I attended meetings, got involved, and had social connections while participating in hobbies I enjoy. I also met many friends, in person, who I first met on the Internet via gaming, or online chat forums for some of my interests. I guess my advice for those who struggle is to find something you really like to do, and find a group of people who like that too. Nothing breaks the ice like someone asking you to show them something really cool you've done.
I totally understand what you are saying, also love both of you.
My husband and I are the same way. We have a few other friends, but we have weeded out the drama friends. We could never have a party because only 6 people would be invited..😅 and that's fine with us. I just love you 2. Thanks for all the fun, adventures, and sharing your love with us all. I'd invite you 2 for sure if I ever had a party. 🎉❤
I’m in a local food group and when the 50% off thing got discontinued there were damn near riots, and honestly there probably should have been. Someone mentioned that they’d go there really early in the morning before work and pick up a salad for 50% for lunch that day but with the 30% off they couldn’t afford it anymore and it’s way more expensive to buy the ingredients separately, especially as a single person where they might go bad before you could finish them. That little anecdote just stuck with me.
My own story on the internet, the last apartment I moved into I had ordered a modem for delivery under the information they had that we had a certain kind of connection. It showed up late, we didn’t have that connection and it was going to be a month before they could get anyone out to install it, A MONTH!! I ended up going to the office in person, returning the router, dissing their desk plant and going with Bell who only took a week to come install (which was still kind of ridiculous but it was a university city with a lot of move ins and I was late due to the first company). It sucked but my roommate and I just used school wifi and stayed late to get stuff done. I hate being connected constantly but it’s also extremely hard with the pressures of our world not to be.
I have the extrovert life. The different groups of friends. Lots of different hobbies, however, I do like being on my own away from people too. You both love each others company and that is beautiful. Relationships like that are few and far between. 💕💕💕
I am really enjoying your tangent discussions. Like you I don't need a lot of friends, but I need a core. As well, not good at small talk! I guess because I am a holistic coach, I really enjoy deeper conversations that help me see the real you, therefore small talk is meaningless to me. No purpose! Thanks for revealing the real you guys!
THANK YOU SO MUCH🥰LISTENING TO THE TWO OF YOU IS LIKE WHEN YOUR HAVING THAT MORNING CUP OF COFFEE OR TEA,,,NEVER STOP ENJOYING EACH DAY OF YOUR LIVES💞💖💗💕❣
We have been together 33 years. We have the same story. Good friends have alway been had to find. Especially for couples. You have to find a “community” to join. For us it was a community choir. It took a while but relationships were built. We’ve met wonderful people. Our friends who have joined the softball league, the bowling league or dinner clubs have had the same results. We have found that bars have not been a good place to make friends.
Yes, Todd, I agree, curl up and hide!! Absolutely!
I agree with you when it comes to work “friends”. When I leave work, I want to “leave” work! Work friends seem superficial!
Working in the greenhouses with you guys in my ears! What a great way to start a day!! Xxx
Aw we love that! Wish we were doing the same 😅
I am not coupled. I have a handful of friends. We keep our space and enjoy our time together. And we allow for spontaneous get-togethers. Less pressure! I enjoy groups and laughing and having fun. But I recharge alone. There is peace in keeping things simple and meaningful!
♡♡♡ "Simple & Meaningful" ♡♡♡
...Perfect
Another great tangent on a touchy subject for lots of people. Sorry about your grandfather Love how Charlie got to be on the couch have a great week
At 60 & having the realisation that I’m now an introvert I’m happiest doing everything alone. I’ve had 10 years of intense therapy & now everyday surface conversations just leave me cold. Give me a quality psychoanalytic book or podcast, my journal & a a stint of travelling & I’m blissed. All that friend pressure fills my head with unwanted dynamics I don’t want to ruminate on. A good walk in nature is the best friend I have.
I used to be very social, with lots of friends... After being betrayed by my life long "best friend" and estrangement from family, I tend to mistrust people.
Anyone who knows me, would say that I can talk 'til your ears bleed, (😂) But... I cannot DO small-talk, and am socially-phobic.
I am open to making new friends, but it's definitely harder, the older you get, IMO.
A quick review on Amazon reveals multiple large analog outdoor thermometers accurate to -60°F/-50°C. Looking out the window should be just as easy as asking Alexa/Siri...and probably more accurate for your exact location.
I love your honesty! I’m watching this on my Tv and responding on my iPad. I am a 68 year old woman and I am a total introvert. No apologies. I have so many friends, some I have had since I was 5 years old, they don’t all know each other and some of them know me differently than others. Only because they knew me at different points in my life. Some day, I would love for them all to meet. It would be a hilarious night! They all accept me for who I am and all know I’m an introvert. I think they know I’m honest and trustworthy and love them regardless of any differences. Just enjoy life. The best thing is that you both accept yourself and enjoy the time you have together.
I resonate with both of you. I cannot be amongst people that shoot the shit and talk bullshit. I love deep hearted conversations with people that know where I’m coming from. Sending hugs to both of you, sorry for the loss of your granddad. 💜☮️☯️🔮
Wow! You two were very “tangenty” today! I love the way your minds work. You’re both very quick witted. I always enjoy your videos but today had me smiling extra big!
So happy to hear that, Dianna!
Five years ago, my husband, daughter and I moved from CA to OH. We left behind most of our family and all of our friends to live closer to our son, his wife and our grandkids. It's very difficult to start over in your 60's. Add to that Covid hit. The worst of it was my husband died two years after moving here. Two of my best friends have also died since we moved, with a third nearing her end, as we speak. I'm out-living those who have known me best - who have shared history with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm active in my church, I tutor (reading) at an outreach center with kids and adults, I've joined a couple of clubs that have shared interests with me. But I still feel very much alone. Friendship grows out of shared experiences and spending time together. It's so difficult to find someone.... anyone that has the time and desire to pursue deep, lasting friendship in today's climate.
Missing you tangents. hope to hear from you guys again soon :)
My husband and I used to go to BevMo which is a huge liquor store and they happen to have wine tasting every Saturday.🍷 We ended up meeting lots of like-minded individuals, and we formed this Wine Group that gets together now and then at our homes. There’s about 30 of us in this group and we take turns having house parties and it’s been about 15 years since we formed this group. everyone brings a bottle of wine and a dish to share. Lots of good times🍷🍷😎🌈
I am very introverted. Back in my 30's and 40's I used to go out on weekends with friends, etc, but realized that I was way out of my comfort zone. I felt that I was portraying myself as someone I wasn't. Today, my circle is very small and consists of my lifetime fiance (🤣 we'll be engaged but not married, forever) and our combined 8 kids and 5 grandbabes. I will venture out to see a high school friend a couple times a year but other than that, I spend my best moments with my family. I think the reality for me is when looking back, the "friends" that I spent so many weekends with for so many years have all moved on, as have I, and our friendship was never close to begin with.
Based on experience as a 67yo, meet people in person as much as possible. I volunteer at the local animal shelter and have made friends (I’m a seasoned introvert but I love friends). Volunteer, meetup groups for something you love or want to learn. Having a common interest is an automatic shoe in the door. Love the podcast, or whatever this is.
Todd! So true about social media decreasing our conversations. Love the visual of the beach picture and not having a conversation because you know the answers based on the picture. So true!
I'm 69 years old and retired. I haven't had any friends for many years. I got tired of feeling like they were only talking to me to find out what was going on with me so they would have some big things they could talk about behind my back with the other friends. Not worth my time and effort. Love you guys so much!!
Love this! Love you ,both! Thank you,Todd and Tyler! Nice to know I am not alone on all these Tangents. Great pod cast! ❤
Raising my children, I always seemed to find myself in very social situations. At heart, I’m a homebody, and I love solitude. I used to beat myself up that because I love solitude so much I must not be a good friend. But I’ve learned that’s just not true. I’m 55, I have two great friends close by and one that lives far away. I nurture those friendships. If I meet people in social situations, they just become acquaintances. I’ve gotten rid of the pressure of trying to keep up with everybody. And I’m OK with that.
I loved this podcast so much it was funny and it hit home! Love you guys! 🍷 ❤️
Exactly 😁😁😁
Pandemic, fear of difference, shaming, greed, fear all create separation. I have awareness of raising vibration attracts others seeking higher vibrational living. It's a shift from "Victim, Volunteer or Empowered"... It's a mindset and a choice. Live an esteemable life, those kinds of choices are CONSCIOUS choices. Others living in the same energy will be attracted.
you guys are spot on with the "small social battery!" It was like you were reading my mind. My husband and I almost never go out and we love it! We enjoy family visits but are ecstatic to come home. And you're right that most people feel this way. Keep up the tangential tirades! Love it.
I prefer one on one conversations. But I have friends who prefer spending time with a group. (One of these "extroverts" admitted that staying busy can be a way she avoids self exploration.) There are about ten people I talk to about personal matters. Out of those ten, two share a house with me. We are in retirement age. I live in a small town filled with artists. So it's pretty easy to connect with others. Waldorf Schools are a strong influence here and there are several buildings that have been converted into gathering places for art, music, yoga, meditation, theater, etc.. The cool thing is that if you decide to go alone to one of these events, put on by those who live in this town, you always feel that you are part of the community.
I love your Sunday videos, but I look forward to Tangents more than anything! BTW, those mugs are so cute.
From two introverts here, we completely agree and your words resonate with us. When we moved out of the city to our cabin, we realized just how introverted we are. But it's been a unique balance enjoying the company of each other while also hosting out-of-town friends when we can (since it seems they also want to escape the city to chill in the mountains). By the way, great choice of Pendleton mugs! We have the same ones. Cheers, y'all.
When I was a young adult into my 40’s I went to dances and night clubs with my friends. When I look back on that I realize I was never comfortable in those environments. It was what I thought we did to meet people I guess. But honestly it never led to anything good 😅. Now I live by this, I only do what’s best for me. What’s interesting is that when I follow that it always works out best not just for me but for those around me. I think a good life is all about loving yourself and being kind to others. Of course I do stumble but I always get back on track now. I just wish I knew I loved myself when I was younger ❤
I totally understand the whole friendship thing. I, too, am an introvert. My husband, on the other hand, is the extrovert social butterfly, he loves large gatherings, being out and about, meeting new people etc. Whereas I struggle with all of that, mostly because I know I am a bit socially awkward and find it difficult to connect with other people.
I had the worst day at work and watching you tonight made me laugh at loud for the first time today ❤
I’m so with you guys! I just like being alone with my dogs☺️.
Oh my gosh…. You guys make me so happy! I just love you both. Hope you are well!
Todd, I gave everyone in my department bubbles and when the stress level was high, I would go into the room, crank up some good music and say BUBBLE DANCE TIME! We would do this for like 5 mins and get back to work but it helped break the stress if even for a short time.
Also an introvert, my best friend is my dog (besides my wife). He goes on errands with me, coffee dates, shopping in stores he can come in with me. I have conversations with him and I really feel his emotional support. I love my trip to the barber (4 years seeing the same one), massage appointment (same therapist 3 years), physio (same therapist 4 years), and psychologist (3 years). They are odd connections but they are consistent and these people have journeyed with me through life. I have a few close friends too but I do prefer my time alone (with dog and wife). No shame here!! Embrace who you are and how you are wired!!
Sorry guys! Todd has me chuckling about not being able to ask Alexa the temperature. Darlin’ there’s this invention called a thermometer! You can get one that shows the outside temp on a monitor inside. But, you two are so much fun, and so honest.
I had to step back in and comment on the Tea Time tangent: you both are so right about being clear in your own mind about what a position (or more likely a title) means to you. What will you get out of it and what will you have to expend in energy and emotion to make it work. As for money, yes getting paid well is wonderful, but what if you’re being paid well to do a job with a lot of responsibility but have no authority in decision making, or equality with other managers? That is incredibly frustrating.
Thank you both for your “tangents” and thoughtful, often hilarious, consideration of Tea Time questions.
I love so much the discussion factor of these. Withought realising it, you show us a healthy way to talk to and with your loved one.
You guys are so truthful. Younger versions of my partner and myself. We treasure a tight knit group of friends and truly enjoy small social gatherings. We love our private time. To us a nice home, home cooking, and an occasional getaway is way better than expensive cars and keeping up with the Jones’s.
Oh boys, I just had this same conversation with a close friend. Both of us are single Lesbians. We are both intolerant of people we don’t want to have in our lives and the social circle is becoming very small. But - different from you two we are in our late 60’s. Keep the good friends close and cherish your time with them and your time together. When you do find other friends you want in your life cultivate the friendship. Take care and keep the videos coming, we love all you do and your independence.
Kelly.
Lovely to see Charlie snoozing away between you!
I found by my 30s, I went for quality and not quantity in friendships. By then I had weeded out the frivolous bonds, the drinking buddies and the flakes. To be honest, as an introvert, there’s a limit to how many people I have the energy for and want to have a real conversation or connection with. I often wonder that by staying connected online, we’re unknowingly draining our social energy for in-person interactions. Love the podcast! Always interesting topics!
p.s. Rogers isn’t any better.
FINALLY....Charlie gets to be on the couch. 😉
I agree, I used to go out to 'the club' every weekend and had people that I knew that I met up with. In my 40's and 50's now it has changed. I work retail and once I am done my day I am done with people. Social settings are now few and far between. I agree with Tyler, I find social settings draining. Family is my main social setting now and I find that time easier to deal with but I have a limit there too. Many acquaintances here but if I get invites, the closer to the date of said event I end up declining. My x from over 20 years ago and his husband consistently try to get me to come out. Last time though I had gotten covid around Christmas so it was legit.
Hi, I have been married for 53 years. We live in the Sierras of California. I have long time friends from high school, that I get together with once a year. I have very few friends in my daily life. I find it is very hard to make new friends now. I only leave the house to take walks, shop for groceries or go to an appointment. I believe everything has a season. My time of being involved in lots of social groups was when my kids were growing up. They are grown and on their own now, and this is my season to “just be”, and I am enjoying the ride.
Wow congrats on 53 years!
I’m finally living alone for the first time in my life… As of 2 years ago.
And it’s been the MOST transformative time. I’m so happy you both were able to be open to learning who YOU are as Individuals. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to let another person into my life… but I’m so glad to know that there are couples like you out in the world- It gives me hope.
Best of luck with the new Modem!
-love from the land of cell service
I have belonged to a small organization for a couple of decades. We have many meetings, either on the phone or via Zoom. So now I have friends all around the country (I live in the US), and even a few in other countries. I love being able to see some of them when I travel. And some of them have become life-long friends.
I naturally make friends with anyone and everyone. I have a friend that I've known for about 20 years who I met in an airport.
I'm super, super social and my family hates walking into a restaurant first, calling in a delivery order, asking a stranger for directions, etc. So I always do it.
I learned during the pandemic tho...I do need quiet time and alone time. I didn't realize how much. So I feel now I have a better balance.
I get Tyler, I’m absolutely the same way. I’m not going to make the effort, I love my independence and I’m not the needy type that needs a social calendar.
Love this channel and these men
Great topic today. Would love to go down this path again in a future episode. ♥️ you both and the fur babies too
Todd, i so understand about the shopping. Its so overwhelming. I've left full carts at Walmart. My husband does all the purchases. I don't enjoy it. Too many decisions.
Thanks again guys. You made me laugh but I relate to so much. Keep this tangent going.
It comes back to the superficial nature of so many people who like to think they know everything about you because they might know 1 small thing. They weren’t there but they have already decided what is going on.
It’s a dynamic where people think they know you based on a kind of second hand information. Someone might think they know who you are and respond as if they do because for example you are gay and they think they know what this means, or because you are Canadian & they think they know what that is. Or because I am this or I am that.
It happens to so many because people make assumptions without really making that personal connection first.
You have highlighted this in a way we can all relate to, it’s an important observation about the way people can be shallow and even insensitive.
What we love about you is your natural ability to be in the heart. A good thing for all of us.
I am a 79 year old widow and I live by myself with my 3 indoor cats and 3 outdoor stray or semi feral cats. I live in a duplex in a cul de sac and have a wonderful neighbor who occupies the other half of the duplex. I am alone but not lonely. I am comfortable with myself. I worked until I was 70 and there were days when I couldn't wait to get home to peace and quiet. I moved to my current state and left my good friends in Maryland and several have since died and it was hard not to be able tobe present for them. Fortunately I have 2 of my children close and that makes all the difference. I have always been pretty much a loner so I am fine as long as. I have my books, cats and recently UA-cam 😊 I love this weekly visit with you too and I also watch every Sunday ❤
One hard part of forming adult friendships seems finally getting connection, then sweet familiarity, and then judgments happen, on both sides. Most are so subtle you might not even be aware of them, but it causes an inner shift.
Pleasantly suprised to see this . .. Also condolences and hope you are both doing well.
We might still take some time from our regular Sunday videos. Its a much more intimate (and time consuming) process of bringing y'all along for our whole week. Hope you understand ❤
@@tangentswithtylerandtodd Of course. I'm always shocked when creators feel a need to apologize for taking personal time for whatever reason. You are by no means beholden to any of us. Take all the time you need. We'll be patiently waiting. Thank you both for all your time and hardwork.
Todd and Tyler. Everyone takes time off to mourn a family loss. Take all the time you need. We will wait. Hugs 😊😊😊
@@Dragonmoon1598 It seems to be easy for us followers to believe that we are customers here. I mean, if we go to the grocery shop and order some apples, and the sales clerk says nope, I won't let you buy any apples today! Then we get sorely mad. At the grocery shop, that's ok. But here at Tyler and Todd's we're not customers. We are followers, supporters, appreciators, honored guests. We should remember that, and not get mad when Tyler and Todd need some time off.
cheers! / CS
@@thecrazyswede2495never heard it explained that way before, really appreciate this perspective ❤
As busy as you two are your feelings about people are fine. Let people judge. They don’t live your life! Love your podcasts and sharing your journey’s with you. Thank you. Love your fur babie❤️
I’m definitely in Tyler‘s camp when it comes to the whole friend thing. Totally got where he’s coming from