1) Communication 2) Communication 3) Say it with me: Communication 4) Louder, for those in the back: Communication 5) A relationship is a two way street. If only one partner ever shows attraction/interest, does the 'initiating' or 'earning intimacy' acts etc etc for there to be intimacy between the partners, it's time to get back to steps 1) to 4) again and hash out why and how to rebuild, if its possible etc. A partner who always expects the other to 'earn' their affection and acts of intimacy is selfish and self-centred themselves as they are just as guilty of taking their partner for granted, if not actually more so when you consider said partner with these expectations oft never initiate or earn in their partners time in return, just always assuming, taking their partners interest/attraction for granted.
I just started watching this, I’m 59 years old an damn the #6 is the most important one of all! Communication! You’ll have all the answers to 1 thru 5 with it! I would like to have everyday if I could!
I've been married almost 18 years, and I'm happy to say that I've picked up all of skills/tips in this video from talking to my wife over the years. Excellent info.
First I have to find a partner, or have her find me. My wife of 50+ years died of cancer six months ago and being alone is not much fun at all. Starting over at 75 is no joke. This video has been a bit of a refresher course. Thanks
@@Linda-in9ns I think he is trying to anticipate the rest of his life. You are a cold woman…..who dares have sex with you? Sounds like you are all alone.
Intimacy died and so did our marriage of 25 years. When I finally said I wanted a divorce my wife flipped, said she had no idea…. Months before I had tried to warn her by saying “this [our marriage] can not go on like this [sexless], this is unsustainable.” She must have been in denial about how important intimacy is in a marriage. We still love each other, but love without intimacy is just frustrating.
Agreed, I was married to a woman that would get hers, then leave me hanging. We are no longer married. I spent 2 years blaming myself for our failed marriage then met a wonderful women who helped me through it. Later on I found out that my former wife was cheating on me which is likely why she had no concern for my needs. I'm now happily married to the woman that helped me sort out my f***ed up mess created by my ex-wife and we have a very happy sex life going 5 years strong.
#1 cause of divorce is women shutting off the bedroom fun. There's a reason the saying goes "the best way for a man to live a sexless life is to get married" unfortunately most men think they will get more regular sex if they are married.
Finally Some real intelligent and understanding talk by the women.... It's not always the women or the vice-versa... Men's pleasures needs to be taken care too..
This message is so important on so many levels. I am sure many more marriages could be saved just by listening to this. None of this was ever communicated to my ex partner and myself
I always made sure my wife got satisfied and tried to improve my skills but she still wanted to do it only once a week or even more rarely. This combined to total emotional coldness lead to me divorcing her...
From an early age , I was highly orgasmic. But I lost that ability in my late 30’s due to meds . Topical Premarin is a life saver now that I’m 46 . Less pain , more sensitivity. Thank goodness my husband listens and makes me the priority during sex , which makes me more eager to please him . That’s what made me like him so much in the beginning. He will spend hours if he has to just to satisfy me . Even after almost 10 years . Thank you both . Wish you two were my docs .
It isn’t just in the bedroom (not referring to other rooms, or semi public places), it’s the small details. One thing I like doing is when she is in the shower is, I take a towel and place it in the dryer to heat it up. When she gets out of the bath or shower, a hot towel is ready for her. A small token of thoughtfulness goes a long ways.
Thank you, ladies, for entering intrepidly into an area that needs and deserves more discussion and clarity, such as that which you provided. Your words were helpful, bold, concise and informative, and I appreciated them very much.
For my partner and me sex starts hours before the actual act itself during the day tell them how beautiful they are and have playful interaction during the time before
Wow. What's better than one great urologist with current state of the art insight??? TWO urologists with current insight!!! Thanks soo much. Keep on trucking!
I subscribed to your channel after watching this video. Probably the best detailed informative video I have watched on this topic so far. Dr. Casperson is amazing, she doesn’t waste time, talks points and moves on.She talks entirely from women perspective which a lot of us guys have little to no clue at all. Will also check her page . Thanks for this one
Excellent presentation! As and old retired scientist who had a heart attack in his youth at 65 years old I began having election loss during sex. My wife rejected me even with viagra correcting the problem caused by blood pressure medication. Your video has helped me improve our relationship after over 50 years of marriage, rearing 5 children and having 10 grandchildren! GET THE WORD OUT!
Okay, definitely my favorite video thus far! Very informative, and enlightening. Thank you for bringing forward the perspectives of both parties involved, and how they can contribute to the satisfaction of each other. Definitely recommending this. Great job MD's!!!
I think it's healthy to look at sex from a "continuing education" standpoint. It's relevant in medicine, and many other areas. So why not the bedroom? This video is a great example of that.
I want sex every day. However, I have trouble with reaching orgasm. I will discuss or show this video to my partner. We may both be pleasantly surprised. Thank you both.
I've been with my wife for 12 years and our intimacy is still very strong. We have a wonderful relationship and a very strong bond. I have always taken care to put her pleasure first and it definitely works well for both of us. Pleasure your woman and she will reciprocate very generously 👍.we always communicate with each other and be very open about what we want.
congratulations thats great , 12 years your basically just passing the honeymoon phase....i can tell you from 38 years of marriage and after working, kids grand kids "change of life" etc things WILL be different..not being negative just giving you a heads up..enjoy that great intimacy while you can...when you get my age a good nap is what it's all about....lol..
Everything you say parallels my own experience. I love pleasuring my partner. I find that communicating in bed during sex maximizes pleasure and minimizes things partners don’t like. Just a few words can ease a lot of frustration.
Some good some bad advice I personally have helped atleast 5 women that thought they couldn't have a orgasm have one an it really be more of a mental block then anything else but toys an doing it for long periods of time makes situation worst causes a women to not be as sensitive which in turns make it harder for a human to make her orgasm as good in my opinion
What a great talk about such a sensitive subject, though in a decent mature fashion. It helps extend joyful sexual experience even beyond any age limit.
Thank you for taking about this topic. What I have noticed as an older man: Age and the stage in life has played a lot in how i experience sex. In my teens and early twenties, my erection would rage hard and getting done was a priority.Middle aged my desire to get off was reduced and even though I had good erections, I started being more into pleasing my lady. Now that I am over sixty, I get a good erection by going down on my lady and making sure she has a good orgasm before continuing. What is different, because it takes more to be aroused, pleasuring my lady is more what it is about. For the young men, look after your lady first even though the general is hard and stiff, put off your need to get off till you spend time getting her needs met. This is the advice I would give to my younger self.
@@homefryniles3983 Any gal reading your and Al's notes and advice should be very happy at your collective realizations and goals. Sounds like a Win/Win to me all around.
Rena and Kelly, absolutely awesome! Truly sisters to us all. You are both helping make the world more awesome via education and compassion. From the bottom of my heart, thank you and may The Creator bless you both and your efforts x
As a man I want to say that. The communication aspect is very very true. If a woman does not communicate why she does not want to have sex, or the problems that she's having. She will make the man feel rejected. He will take it personally.
Disinterest in sex can also fall on the male. Especially as men get into middle age. I also believe partners get into habits of masturbation and lose interest in the mutual act of sex. Laziness, avoiding the emotional expenditure, etc. Porn is hindering a lot of sex lives.
Jesus is the answer, the only way we desire the good of our spouse or anyone truly, is because of Christ. Porn destroys marriages and people. Jesus is the answer ❤ The Gospel! Jesus Christ loves you and died, rose from the dead, and ascended to heaven to pay for your sin! Repent and turn to Him and you will walk in light and be saved. Read the book of John and Luke to see God's love for you!
Great Podcast, you both covered the known and unknown for some in a very professional down to earth fashion. I believe the key to any great relationship is "Communication". This although was last on your list, and right behind "Honesty" in my opinion it is paramount! At least the both holds true in my relationship (turned Marriage). Keep up the wonderful instructional teachings, both of you. I hope more people, men & women alike stumble across your Podcasts as I have done. Honestly there's so much garbage out there (especially on UA-cam), that provides bad information. I find it a pleasure to listen to healthy, knowledgeable and myth busting truths from professionals. Warmest of Regards to you both!
That was really nice to listen to, and very very interesting. I'm tired of listening to online " sex-perts " who have no scientific or medical background. I've have never heard the information in this video before, but it just feels right, and it feels like it's grounded in real science,....and I appreciate that. Thank you both.
I listened to an audio book “She Comes First”. I can’t remember the author but this book really helped me to improve my technique and helped me to pleasure my partners even more.
Most of this type of advice is predicated on the assumption that both partners are openly desirous of discussing this topic, finding mutually satisfying ways of increasing pleasures and trying new things, and working together to appreciate each other's desires and expectations. But in real life, I find that when one of the partners does not think this way, there is just no way to steer in this direction. In fact, one partner may well be upset, annoyed, and strictly avoid any such efforts or discussions, and there is no way around this.
I understand what you are saying but I would not settle just because my significant other demands it. I would demand otherwise and prevail upon her whether she wants to or not. Because she would be being completely unreasonable.
@@soulstorm8806 That’s really the point of dating: to learn enough about the other person so you can determine how much you would have to change for a more permanent relationship and if you are willing to do so. The important thing is that both are honest. If one says they are unwilling to change a particular characteristic and the other says it’s ok but expecting that they can change the other person’s mind later, that is a form of cheating. I had three friends that got into a messed up love triangle because the first woman wanted an open relationship with another female. The second female ended up with the male while the first female was ousted. Then, the second female married the male knowing the male did NOT want another child. They ended up having a child together. That’s the danger of emotional rhetoric. Even sweet words can lead people astray. Everybody needs to know exactly where the boundaries are BEFORE making any deeper commitments. I’ve been single for most of a dozen years. Just recently I made an attempt at a relationship with a long time friend. I specifically told her that I was far less emotional than I once was and that I am not looking to be anybody’s emotional support for every little thing. She knew that going in, and within two weeks she was crying about how I show more affection for my dog than her. Everybody that knows me knows that my dog is practically my kid. SHE knew that. Dogs are veritable two year old human children their whole lives, and I understand that. I am willing to be responsible for a two-year old’s emotions, but not a grown adult’s emotions. So, there are a lot of factors involved in relationships of all types, and one has to be willing to acknowledge what other people want. I wasn’t willing to provide for all of her desires so we ended it quick enough that it didn’t negatively impact our friendship. Moreover, she wasn’t what I was looking for regarding a long term relationship either. Had we broached that subject, I would have explained that as well. There is nothing wrong with admitting that somebody is not right for you. Everything is wrong about hiding that determination to get what you want out of another person until something better comes along. Do everybody a favor and be honest up front so they do not feel bitter about you wasting their time.
This is a really helpful video. Men need a no-bullshit approach/get to the point, kind of information on matters involving women and romance. At least I know I do. I need more stuff like this. I'm tired of videos that are either fluffed up with entertainment, indirect, or just straight up biased BS.
I wish I had known this information a few years ago..... As a 68 year old man my wife pleasure is always top on my list of priority and I make she get herself off first. Man I really could have been the bomb in my earlier youthfulness
This was very informative lots of what you already know but do not apply anymore. So an excellent refresher. Most of if not all the posts I have seen are on the same subject, what men need to do to pleasure their partners. I have never seen anything posted on what woman should be doing to pleasure their men. There is a lot women are unaware of and it leaves us frustrated and unfulfilled in the end. Just a thought. It would be of mutual benefit to both partners.
Your revelations are spot on, no pun intended. Reading Jong in the 70's, inducing women to tell me what they want, but mostly learning from women 10 plus years of age over my age caused me to want to get this right. Then, of course, cause women to tell me their needs and to take it slow and in the order most desired to her as a unique being. Many had little help from their mother or friends, to know that it is ok to demand what they want. Desire can be overwhelming and can best be handled as if peeling an onion. The man and his parts are an accessory to the woman, and full female pleasure is much more spectacular than his own. Gobble up a quick dinner, or enjoy a fine 4 course meal ? Some men can't get it right. Also, some women are unwilling to let a "turned out man" show them what they yearn to experience. I can tell you truly that it makes a loving man live a dilemma, to find a real love and self aware lover in one person. Women are the masters, if they know it. The whole of her body is sexual. Men are not so lucky.....we can only experience through her. His orgasm has more to do with procreation. Many men are good guides and can easily do just as needed, but must be nudged constantly in the ever changing world of female pleasure. Your info glosses over this, I think. Just shop around and see who is a good guy, by seeking simple sensual experiences without full blown sex, as you peel your own onion, and then demand satisfaction. If you are not afraid. Be the boss mother nature made you to be.
@@Thenoobestgirl The main thrust of my comment is to women. Demand proper attention from a man/men. Shop around, ladies. Read my comment again, Noobest Girl. The burden is on YOU! Men will do what you want and need. Any worth their salt.
OMG I just started listening to this and right up front I just want to say thank you for acknowledging that women sex lives are important because I've been brushed off multiple times because I'm going through menopause and my body isn't working with me. Until I started on HRT I was willing to participate but I didn't get any joy and my husband and I have always been very active and I'll just leave it at that without sharing too much personal information. And I had gone to the doctor and tried to talk to them about it and there was no level of understanding
Yes, I feel like this video is perfect for 16-year-old boys. To be honest, if you haven't figured this stuff out by the time you're 30, you're probably a selfish person and are not trying to learn. Don't be shocked if your wife is hooking up with a mail man.
Thank you for speaking frankly and simply. I could understand all you said. It's too late for my marriage, not that sex was the only problem, but ignorance in this area didn't help. At least now i won't die an ignorant Klingon :) I'm going to pass this video on to my adult boy and girl, just to be sure they don't miss out.
I greatly enjoyed this. It was very informative and, I think, succinct. I have one addition to your first topic of scheduling. This can be even more important AND difficult if you have anyone besides the couple in the home, i.e. children, elderly, or even other adults depending on the individual comfort level of each partner. I think that a lot of people get into a strong habit of sex at bedtime because they wait until their dependents are asleep, and after two or more decades that could be difficult to shift to a more open schedule. Working in not just date nights, but fuller times when the dependents are away under other supervision can open those times up throughout these periods in life, and their sporadic nature will help to break any monotony that can set in when schedules are strict-ish. Also, if you only have a date night/morning, use the morning! Mornings have long been one of my favorite times to enjoy sex, but when you have kids in the house you'd need a partner who wakes up with you before the kids do, and you've got to be ready to be interrupted and stop on a dime. Risky in the sense that you may not get to finish, but that also adds an element of game-like fun for me.
@@zeebest1004 That's a good point, though Dr. Malik could be focusing on it for a reason regarding her specialization. I think I remember seeing videos of hers that focus on how men's equipment works, so that might help. You could browse her video page. If not, I'm sure someone else focuses on it whose stuff is findable if someone's really interested in learning about it.
@@zeebest1004 truth is, there are lots of advice videos from men about how to increase their performance or how to raise their partner's pleasure. They have some use, but this one really looked at it from the woman's point of view and made it pretty clear that being thoughtful about what she wants is the way to mutual satisfaction. I give these women urologists a lot of credit for not blaming the woman's problems on the men.
This was an outstanding presentation which I wish every couple could see. Also it would help a lot of people if the Church would understand this because sex is not just for procreation.
Simply a stress reliever decompress from life's idiocy and appreciate each other's company having fun , can be so exilarating , and help you sleep like a baby , relaxed completely ,namaste yoga like zen ,✌️👍🙏😔🔥🐓⚡🌹
Very unselfish you are helps keep the feelings fresh and adventurous exploring her pleasures first , the more open she will be to reciprocate the pleasures you give her and she shows you her pleasure points so openly , pure love is so 🔥✌️👍💪🙏💙💎🖖🤙
I’m glad I was able to figure this out young, I tend to focus more on my Parter first before I focus on myself, the result? She can’t have enough and is always ready for it anytime! The communication on what makes it work and what doesn’t is of huge help and also understanding that, it’s okay to not finish from time to time, if it’s either me, or her, just having a good time for both should be a priority and it doesn’t have an end goal. :)
I found this interview very enlightening and helpful. I realized that sex isn't solely about intercourse; and that there are some simple things I can do to enhance my wife's desire for intimacy. I will definitely be revisiting this video. 😉
Remember! Communicate is the first step! Ask her in the bed how do you like sex and do exactly the way she said. Forplay I found out is number one. Get her going and it’s all yours from there . Been married 33 years and still can’t get enough!
@@captainkirk7702 Exactly. That's the key difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Gays and lesbians will communicate, check what each other is into, while heterosexuals just assume. A lot of the assumptions are made by the men (especially) because of all the porn they've watched, which is usually a poor depiction of sex, the aim of which is not female pleasure.
4:03 this backfires regularly. It puts pressure at times. Performance (or outcome) expectations can be underwhelming. overthink the upcoming event and it fails to deliver the pleasure. 5:20 most men figure this out after their 30s. If not, tell them! LOL
The female center of pleasure so called, “G-Spot” is named after a man. That makes perfect sense why it is a myth for most women. The notion of going to a doctor to learn about sex is like speaking a different language to me, but its starting to make sense. Better than just recommending the “5 Love LanguageS.” “Don’t use her wetness as evidence of anything.” Wow! My wife introduced me to coconut oil as a lubricant, and I initially blamed myself. Come to think of it, she has introduced me to quite a bit. Potato/Patata…amazing, I never applied it to intimacy in quite that manner. Religion for both of use, has been the bane of many of our barriers. I think this discussion would be more rounded with menopausal effects. Otherwise, Bravo, I learned a great deal about how to think about intimacy. I am a much better lover in my 50’s than I was in my 20’s and 30’s because my motivations were on the destination, not the journey. Or successes are all due to our level of communication outside the bedroom. Good stuff, Doctors.
Not a myth from the women I've gotten naked with in the past 15 years LOL......Good sex starts in the brain. If your partner is fucked up over the whole sex world, find another partner.
We often see our men and women in the military and salute them, thanking them for their service. Well…I am certain I am joined by MANY men and women both in AND out of uniform when I say to you both…Thank You for YOUR service! This most excellent video serves as a lesson, refresher course, and most importantly, a beautifully structured REMINDER that will spice up our sex lives, and in many cases REAWAKEN our spirits of experimentation and FUN in and out of our bedrooms. Two PLEASURE SOLDIERS reporting to us from the front lines of the PLEASURE BRIGADE! How cool is THIS?! ❤️❤️❤️
USA has always been in war since 1776. It's a company and war is their business model. Example the tv-program 60 minutes asked former minister Albright if it was worth to go in Iraq. There where 500.000 children been killed for nothing. Madeleine said it was worth it. The elite has no empathy. And then brainwash Americans to be so patriotic. Thank you for your service. A B52 bombing Vietnam and Laos every 8 minutes for years. Thank you for your m murder ING service 10.000 km from home. Why people don't think for them selves or parent teach their children moral?
If I am not mistaken, hormonal cycles that tend to highten sexual desire differ greatly within the two sexes. For the female, this cycle peaks occurs every thirty days or so, and for the male, every three days. Thus, males get unfairly characterized as insatiable beasts. Especially by feminists and angry lesbians. This is a subject that I have only once seen get the proper amount of attention and explanation from health experts. Therefore, males whose healthy bodies are doing a real number on their thought processes and behavior, have, since the beginning of time, been viewed as insensitive “dogs” when it is their healthy human/male biology driving his behavior (and to his sexual/social detriment.) I learned about it when I was in my late twenties from my doctor. Most guys NEVER learn this about their bodies and often pay a steep social price for it! If he hasn't been properly introduced to his own body, how can the average guy be expected to know about the Intricacies of the female body. It's kinda unfair.
Ja I have heard of that but only in certain male "bonding groups' that cater to groupies. The problem women are having is not in the promiscuity area but extends to it. The problem woman are having is men not lasting long enough. the situation with them is they dont how know how much is necessary. She just knows when not enough was adequate. Minutemen are the problem bc women have not learned how to teach them to have a successful, sexual, intimate relationship with her bc she dont know. It has to be by percept or personal experience. most women suffer from lack of sexual frustration that is contributing to their 'free-floating anxiety' that comes from the world with them attempting to balance themselves as females in this world physically, emotionally and mentally. She can only do it through intercourse but she thinks she can do through promiscuity
@@evaeggen6928 If you're paying attention YES!! I could tell just from my wife's taste (even her skin) where she was in the 28 day cycle and definitely much more aroused 5 to 7 days before she started her period. Partners should spend much more time making it especially GOOD when they are naturally horny ... it makes up for some of the other times, I'm sure.
@@alibernard1366 How is this incel stuff? I think he's saying guys don't know a lot about their bodies and are socially mocked for natural impulses. I didnt even know some of the things he mentioned before just now reading it, so that kinda proves his point.
I completely disagree with the technology component. I've had women who lose interest in "manual" sex because they like their vibrator or tech device "better." I find that tech either desensitizes or at a minimum rewires the brain, much like addiction and dopamine stimulus or porn addiction and rewired expectations. Not every woman will experience this of course, but I do believe there is a chance you can cause more harm than good. Men, learn women's bodies and talk to them about what feels good, what they like. You're learning on "their dime" so-to-speak, it's free info. Women, don't bring the days problems into the bedroom, relax, and enjoy. If it's not working out and your partner doesn't talk, TELL THEM what you like and feels good. That seems to work best. ;-)
Good point. One of the biggest challenges is how to have a mutually wonderful, connecting and non-repetitively boring experience without it being “goal oriented”.
People are just way too invested in "getting off" because they are coming at it from the angle of it being a purely physical thing. Women are not men and although some women climax easily most do not and there is nothing wrong with that. Traditional sex is the best if you really want to develop closeness and enjoy eachother.
I’m with you. If it is good, why hurry, enjoy, it’s about rhythm. But, when your partner, has a deep seated perception. That sex is dirty, and at a base level, of interaction. Talking, scheduling, and technique, don’t get very far. It can be quite lonely, for one, frustrating for the other.
The idea that sex is "dirty" or bad needs to be purged from society. It's the most natural thing like eating or sleeping yet has been deemed taboo. This has its roots in controlling people and destroying freedom.
@@engineeringreality7878 100% agree. I'd imagine almost all cases of people thinking sex is dirty are due to religion. Needs to be eradicated. @Bill Peterson, sounds like you need a new partner.
Thanks for the great tips/advice. Could you add something about healthy sexual relationships through and beyond menopause? Reigniting an ember that has burned out. This would be super appreciated.
Patient and compassionate lover always help rekindle the fire back to life , ✌️💪👍🦋😸🔥🌹🙏 open minds can overcome all obstacles in life.. love unbounded.💙😔🤙🖖
Talk to her and tell her you would like to get intimate, and if you can please her first!!!! Because we men don’t take long for sure. That works for me! If you can’t talk then I think the marriage is over.
Unfortunately me watching this is too late for my marriage. I believe I understand now of some of the issues we had after her hysterectomy. I was thinking all the wrong things. Thanks for this video.
Goes along with what you've said, I've found the focus on the foreplay with a long backrub. Her being relaxed has been instrumental in my experience. Rubbing everything but what us neanderthals want to focus on. Briefly brushing those areas, then instead focusing on the area around them. Then paying more attention to those bits slowly increasing the stimulation I've been able to coax multiple Os even before involving toys. One longer session lead to the discovery that spare towels should be kept under the foot of the bed. Wish I knew all this long ago!
For years I've always felt like I was doing something wrong and that my wife was just having sex with me because it was her Job as my partner and was never really enjoying it. But we are doing ALL THESE THINGS! And have been for years. Thank you so much. I feel so much more confident!
What do you mean by natural? Because it is not really naturally occurring as you must press coconut meat to get it. Though all things are natural as they come from nature. Everything, including coconut oil, is chemical.
Use to be a male escort, the amount of women who haven’t been touched the way they actually would like to be is astounding. It has definitely taught me a lot and had very much helped in my current marriage. Please men if you read this, take the time to get to know your partner’s fantasies and how she likes it down there orally and with the help of your buddy. Outside tools are what I would consider a must it isn’t demeaning to your manhood at all in fact she’ll probably choose you over the other guys (trust). Sex is very much a woman dominate activity, remember she is letting you use her body to gain pleasure. Make sure she is getting just as much if not more pleasure because if it.
Thank you doctors for such inside look at intimacies from a Drs preceptive. After living a long relationship with my wife I would always asked her how did we do. She was very Candice, it was not all the time a ten.
Sometimes my wife and I both agree we’re not in the mood but we also know that if one of us starts it we will end up in the mood so we always go ahead and go there anyway
You should have intimacy.....it is the glue that holds people together while life tries to kick your ass on a daily basis...........True,whether or not you believe it !!
“If you schedule sex, it takes the pressure off of all the other days.” When I heard this, it brings to mind that sex is rare and maybe once or twice a week at most.
Scheduled sex time seems boring, awkward and unnatural. Might as well buy from a hooker…if only it were legal like in Europe. A hooker prefers a 3-minute client.
Awesome educational video! Regarding scheduling time for sex, also schedule it around her ovulation days. Plan romantic dinners and showering attention during those days. Silicone lubes are our go-to lube, but once in a while we also use cannabis infused oil. Doesn't last as long, but the effects are wonderful if you like long drawn out PIV sex.
Good tutorial, agree with all the points and as a reinforcement of number #1, as I have to use sildenafil, we schedule our sex and then I take the pill about an hour before the appointed time. Anticipation is a strong emotion.
1) Communication
2) Communication
3) Say it with me: Communication
4) Louder, for those in the back: Communication
5) A relationship is a two way street. If only one partner ever shows attraction/interest, does the 'initiating' or 'earning intimacy' acts etc etc for there to be intimacy between the partners, it's time to get back to steps 1) to 4) again and hash out why and how to rebuild, if its possible etc.
A partner who always expects the other to 'earn' their affection and acts of intimacy is selfish and self-centred themselves as they are just as guilty of taking their partner for granted, if not actually more so when you consider said partner with these expectations oft never initiate or earn in their partners time in return, just always assuming, taking their partners interest/attraction for granted.
I just started watching this, I’m 59 years old an damn the #6 is the most important one of all! Communication! You’ll have all the answers to 1 thru 5 with it! I would like to have everyday if I could!
And, when you are in, Lube, Lube, then Lube!
U8 on
@@rawdata678 love
@@rawdata678 and after the lube what comes next?
I've been married almost 18 years, and I'm happy to say that I've picked up all of skills/tips in this video from talking to my wife over the years. Excellent info.
Me too!
First I have to find a partner, or have her find me. My wife of 50+ years died of cancer six months ago and being alone is not much fun at all. Starting over at 75 is no joke. This video has been a bit of a refresher course. Thanks
sorry for your loss Greg. screw cancer..
Stoooooooooooop whining!
@@dirkmagurk7086 really?
Best to stay single. Your wife just passed.
@@Linda-in9ns I think he is trying to anticipate the rest of his life. You are a cold woman…..who dares have sex with you? Sounds like you are all alone.
Intimacy died and so did our marriage of 25 years.
When I finally said I wanted a divorce my wife flipped, said she had no idea….
Months before I had tried to warn her by saying “this [our marriage] can not go on like this [sexless], this is unsustainable.”
She must have been in denial about how important intimacy is in a marriage.
We still love each other, but love without intimacy is just frustrating.
Well woman don’t understand or don’t care about our desire to continue having sex.
Agreed, I was married to a woman that would get hers, then leave me hanging. We are no longer married.
I spent 2 years blaming myself for our failed marriage then met a wonderful women who helped me through it. Later on I found out that my former wife was cheating on me which is likely why she had no concern for my needs.
I'm now happily married to the woman that helped me sort out my f***ed up mess created by my ex-wife and we have a very happy sex life going 5 years strong.
Married 30 years - the number one problem with marriage is marriage. Neither of you can be there because you want to. Its a bad idea.
Parajacks4, completely understandable
#1 cause of divorce is women shutting off the bedroom fun. There's a reason the saying goes "the best way for a man to live a sexless life is to get married" unfortunately most men think they will get more regular sex if they are married.
Finally Some real intelligent and understanding talk by the women.... It's not always the women or the vice-versa... Men's pleasures needs to be taken care too..
God forbid I think that is the real problem
This message is so important on so many levels. I am sure many more marriages could be saved just by listening to this. None of this was ever communicated to my ex partner and myself
I always made sure my wife got satisfied and tried to improve my skills but she still wanted to do it only once a week or even more rarely. This combined to total emotional coldness lead to me divorcing her...
@@dingdong2103 that's crazy. Maybe she got turned on better by other men
@@alessbritish228 no I know for a fact that she prefers to be alone... we are still close friends
@@dingdong2103 OK bruh, I see what u mean. But if she prefers to be alone, why did she get married in the first place?
@@alessbritish228 My theory is that after the 2nd child the hormonal contraception changed her
Even allowing that most of your viewers are adult, It is truly refreshing to hear women being so open and uninhibited in their talks.
The fact that you put time stamps will get a like from me everytime.
Wow! I'm urologist and I have to say thousands thanks for your useful content for all, as good for professionals as their patients. Thank you!
I'm a woman. Please don't believe her.
Her: "You're a very good lover."
Him: "Thanks, I practice a lot when I'm alone."
Forgot to give woody allen his credit for that line.
From an early age , I was highly orgasmic. But I lost that ability in my late 30’s due to meds . Topical Premarin is a life saver now that I’m 46 . Less pain , more sensitivity. Thank goodness my husband listens and makes me the priority during sex , which makes me more eager to please him . That’s what made me like him so much in the beginning. He will spend hours if he has to just to satisfy me . Even after almost 10 years . Thank you both . Wish you two were my docs .
Communication and being open/non-judgemental is HUGE!!!
It isn’t just in the bedroom (not referring to other rooms, or semi public places), it’s the small details.
One thing I like doing is when she is in the shower is, I take a towel and place it in the dryer to heat it up. When she gets out of the bath or shower, a hot towel is ready for her. A small token of thoughtfulness goes a long ways.
I’ve done this. When it’s over it’s over nothing you do can bring it back
I find more success in flushing all 4 toilets in the house in quick succession. Nothing else gets noticed.
Great tip
Thank you, ladies, for entering intrepidly into an area that needs and deserves more discussion and clarity, such as that which you provided. Your words were helpful, bold, concise and informative, and I appreciated them very much.
For my partner and me sex starts hours before the actual act itself during the day tell them how beautiful they are and have playful interaction during the time before
Foreplay never stops!
And all not a reality.
Wow. What's better than one great urologist with current state of the art insight??? TWO urologists with current insight!!! Thanks soo much. Keep on trucking!
Very evolved….fabulous and very educational discussion….I think most men really want to fulfil women but lack the insights….this really helps
No it’s that we’re always worried about not being as good as the guy before you
@@nelsonporter8387 sad but true , new focus on the here and now , and being open to new explores in life and to each other..,🤔👍✌️😸
I subscribed to your channel after watching this video. Probably the best detailed informative video I have watched on this topic so far. Dr. Casperson is amazing, she doesn’t waste time, talks points and moves on.She talks entirely from women perspective which a lot of us guys have little to no clue at all. Will also check her page . Thanks for this one
Excellent presentation! As and old retired scientist who had a heart attack in his youth at 65 years old I began having election loss during sex. My wife rejected me even with viagra correcting the problem caused by blood pressure medication. Your video has helped me improve our relationship after over 50 years of marriage, rearing 5 children and having 10 grandchildren! GET THE WORD OUT!
Election loss? Well, the midterms are upon us, so I guess you’re in luck!
@@judeirwin2222 hey, more than 50% of politicial candidates experience election loss.
@@judeirwin2222 election loss leads to erection loss
I don't get what u want to say
@@jedimaibam1660 should have been "erections", not "elections",
Okay, definitely my favorite video thus far! Very informative, and enlightening. Thank you for bringing forward the perspectives of both parties involved, and how they can contribute to the satisfaction of each other. Definitely recommending this. Great job MD's!!!
I think it's healthy to look at sex from a "continuing education" standpoint. It's relevant in medicine, and many other areas. So why not the bedroom? This video is a great example of that.
Growth is so stimulating especially with a special lady progressive minds expanding horizons for all...✌️👍💪🙏🤙🖖💎💙🔥
Pfft satisfying each other 99 percent is she's not fuckin like she used to period
I want sex every day. However, I have trouble with reaching orgasm. I will discuss or show this video to my partner. We may both be pleasantly surprised. Thank you both.
I've been with my wife for 12 years and our intimacy is still very strong. We have a wonderful relationship and a very strong bond. I have always taken care to put her pleasure first and it definitely works well for both of us. Pleasure your woman and she will reciprocate very generously 👍.we always communicate with each other and be very open about what we want.
This guy def knows what's goin on
congratulations thats great , 12 years your basically just passing the honeymoon phase....i can tell you from 38 years of marriage and after working, kids grand kids "change of life" etc things WILL be different..not being negative just giving you a heads up..enjoy that great intimacy while you can...when you get my age a good nap is what it's all about....lol..
Amen!!
Sometimes that works...........................not ALWAYS...
@@dwightdodd3734 true, but it's worth a shot. If it doesn't work for your relationship then try a different approach.
Everything you say parallels my own experience. I love pleasuring my partner. I find that communicating in bed during sex maximizes pleasure and minimizes things partners don’t like. Just a few words can ease a lot of frustration.
the bois be learning how to be an absolute unit for your partner. LETS GOOOOOOOOO
Just make sure you ain't going HAM for a chick that just gives you starfish sex
Some good some bad advice I personally have helped atleast 5 women that thought they couldn't have a orgasm have one an it really be more of a mental block then anything else but toys an doing it for long periods of time makes situation worst causes a women to not be as sensitive which in turns make it harder for a human to make her orgasm as good in my opinion
Jesus is the truth
Communicate with your partner. Results are magnificent. This is solid advice.
If it yields any change in behavior at all, it’s likely to be perfunctory, obligatory, guilt driven sex.
Glenn you been dreaming. Lol
@@donmax2315 it’s been working for me for 45 years .
This is an amazing video. Every bit of it is worth millions.
What a great talk about such a sensitive subject, though in a decent mature fashion. It helps extend joyful sexual experience even beyond any age limit.
I am soooooo appreciative of this particular topic
Fabulous video! You, ladies, should be declared a national treasure!
As usual, two minds are better than one, very complimentary and informative.
Yeah, they compliment each other alright. They’re both saying the same one sided thing.
Thank you for taking about this topic. What I have noticed as an older man: Age and the stage in life has played a lot in how i experience sex. In my teens and early twenties, my erection would rage hard and getting done was a priority.Middle aged my desire to get off was reduced and even though I had good erections, I started being more into pleasing my lady. Now that I am over sixty, I get a good erection by going down on my lady and making sure she has a good orgasm before continuing. What is different, because it takes more to be aroused, pleasuring my lady is more what it is about. For the young men, look after your lady first even though the general is hard and stiff, put off your need to get off till you spend time getting her needs met. This is the advice I would give to my younger self.
So true! 62 here and I can relate.
Great advice, Al
@@homefryniles3983 Any gal reading your and Al's notes and advice should be very happy at your collective realizations and goals. Sounds like a Win/Win to me all around.
❤
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I'm not here to watch the UA-cam video, but I'm learning from you. Thanks and be blessed for sharing your wisdom with us.
Rena and Kelly, absolutely awesome! Truly sisters to us all. You are both helping make the world more awesome via education and compassion. From the bottom of my heart, thank you and may The Creator bless you both and your efforts x
What's wierd about this is my fiance name is Rena and her mom's name is Kelli.
As a man I want to say that. The communication aspect is very very true. If a woman does not communicate why she does not want to have sex, or the problems that she's having. She will make the man feel rejected. He will take it personally.
This video is like a cheat sheet to the test! Things your partner wants but doesn't always communicate! Great job and I look forward to more videos!
Just don't lean on the scheduled sex thing for too long though. Long term issues are sure to arise
"Things your partner wants but doesn't always communicate!"
Shouldn't THAT be the first and foremost concern???
Thank you for taking the time to help with this sensitive subject.
Disinterest in sex can also fall on the male. Especially as men get into middle age. I also believe partners get into habits of masturbation and lose interest in the mutual act of sex. Laziness, avoiding the emotional expenditure, etc. Porn is hindering a lot of sex lives.
Yeah,if your wife won't have sex with you,that can happen.....
I agree with you. I think it’s something going on with me. I don’t desire sex but happy to take out pron from time to time.
Jesus is the answer, the only way we desire the good of our spouse or anyone truly, is because of Christ. Porn destroys marriages and people. Jesus is the answer ❤
The Gospel!
Jesus Christ loves you and died, rose from the dead, and ascended to heaven to pay for your sin! Repent and turn to Him and you will walk in light and be saved. Read the book of John and Luke to see God's love for you!
This is the best video I have seen in YEARS!
Great Podcast, you both covered the known and unknown for some in a very professional down to earth fashion. I believe the key to any great relationship is "Communication". This although was last on your list, and right behind "Honesty" in my opinion it is paramount! At least the both holds true in my relationship (turned Marriage). Keep up the wonderful instructional teachings, both of you. I hope more people, men & women alike stumble across your Podcasts as I have done. Honestly there's so much garbage out there (especially on UA-cam), that provides bad information. I find it a pleasure to listen to healthy, knowledgeable and myth busting truths from professionals. Warmest of Regards to you both!
I agree with every word you said , "Honesty " part especially.
Doc I love your work, please keep up.
?-----
Hbigtgerbetteruuharfeder
Yes to scientifically informed opinions on sexuality!
No to furious revengeful feminism!
That was really nice to listen to, and very very interesting. I'm tired of listening to online " sex-perts " who have no scientific or medical background. I've have never heard the information in this video before, but it just feels right, and it feels like it's grounded in real science,....and I appreciate that. Thank you both.
All good points ma’am. Some people have difficulty talking about sexuality though and shy away from it.
You are a blessing! "Making Relationships Great Again!"
🦆🎺 🎺 🎺
I listened to an audio book “She Comes First”. I can’t remember the author but this book really helped me to improve my technique and helped me to pleasure my partners even more.
Most of this type of advice is predicated on the assumption that both partners are openly desirous of discussing this topic, finding mutually satisfying ways of increasing pleasures and trying new things, and working together to appreciate each other's desires and expectations. But in real life, I find that when one of the partners does not think this way, there is just no way to steer in this direction. In fact, one partner may well be upset, annoyed, and strictly avoid any such efforts or discussions, and there is no way around this.
It sounds like somebody settled, then.
I understand what you are saying but I would not settle just because my significant other demands it. I would demand otherwise and prevail upon her whether she wants to or not. Because she would be being completely unreasonable.
@@soulstorm8806 That’s really the point of dating: to learn enough about the other person so you can determine how much you would have to change for a more permanent relationship and if you are willing to do so.
The important thing is that both are honest. If one says they are unwilling to change a particular characteristic and the other says it’s ok but expecting that they can change the other person’s mind later, that is a form of cheating.
I had three friends that got into a messed up love triangle because the first woman wanted an open relationship with another female. The second female ended up with the male while the first female was ousted.
Then, the second female married the male knowing the male did NOT want another child. They ended up having a child together.
That’s the danger of emotional rhetoric. Even sweet words can lead people astray. Everybody needs to know exactly where the boundaries are BEFORE making any deeper commitments.
I’ve been single for most of a dozen years. Just recently I made an attempt at a relationship with a long time friend. I specifically told her that I was far less emotional than I once was and that I am not looking to be anybody’s emotional support for every little thing. She knew that going in, and within two weeks she was crying about how I show more affection for my dog than her. Everybody that knows me knows that my dog is practically my kid. SHE knew that. Dogs are veritable two year old human children their whole lives, and I understand that. I am willing to be responsible for a two-year old’s emotions, but not a grown adult’s emotions.
So, there are a lot of factors involved in relationships of all types, and one has to be willing to acknowledge what other people want. I wasn’t willing to provide for all of her desires so we ended it quick enough that it didn’t negatively impact our friendship. Moreover, she wasn’t what I was looking for regarding a long term relationship either. Had we broached that subject, I would have explained that as well.
There is nothing wrong with admitting that somebody is not right for you. Everything is wrong about hiding that determination to get what you want out of another person until something better comes along. Do everybody a favor and be honest up front so they do not feel bitter about you wasting their time.
FACTS
Dude the way u type if u spoke in a similar fashion i can imagine you wouldn't struggle to explain anything beautifully.
This channel is really magnificent and you are doing a great job of educating people Dr. Malik. 🙏✨😊
This is a really helpful video. Men need a no-bullshit approach/get to the point, kind of information on matters involving women and romance. At least I know I do. I need more stuff like this. I'm tired of videos that are either fluffed up with entertainment, indirect, or just straight up biased BS.
I wish I had known this information a few years ago..... As a 68 year old man my wife pleasure is always top on my list of priority and I make she get herself off first. Man I really could have been the bomb in my earlier youthfulness
It’s exciting to hear this stuff,but most of all,I enjoy the fast -talking way of both of them.Thank you both ,doctors!
This was very informative lots of what you already know but do not apply anymore. So an excellent refresher. Most of if not all the posts I have seen are on the same subject, what men need to do to pleasure their partners. I have never seen anything posted on what woman should be doing to pleasure their men. There is a lot women are unaware of and it leaves us frustrated and unfulfilled in the end. Just a thought. It would be of mutual benefit to both partners.
Your revelations are spot on, no pun intended. Reading Jong in the 70's, inducing women to tell me what they want, but mostly learning from women 10 plus years of age over my age caused me to want to get this right. Then, of course, cause women to tell me their needs and to take it slow and in the order most desired to her as a unique being. Many had little help from their mother or friends, to know that it is ok to demand what they want. Desire can be overwhelming and can best be handled as if peeling an onion. The man and his parts are an accessory to the woman, and full female pleasure is much more spectacular than his own. Gobble up a quick dinner, or enjoy a fine 4 course meal ? Some men can't get it right. Also, some women are unwilling to let a "turned out man" show them what they yearn to experience. I can tell you truly that it makes a loving man live a dilemma, to find a real love and self aware lover in one person. Women are the masters, if they know it. The whole of her body is sexual. Men are not so lucky.....we can only experience through her. His orgasm has more to do with procreation. Many men are good guides and can easily do just as needed, but must be nudged constantly in the ever changing world of female pleasure. Your info glosses over this, I think. Just shop around and see who is a good guy, by seeking simple sensual experiences without full blown sex, as you peel your own onion, and then demand satisfaction. If you are not afraid. Be the boss mother nature made you to be.
I love this comment so much.
Men - learn from this guy!
@@Thenoobestgirl The main thrust of my comment is to women. Demand proper attention from a man/men. Shop around, ladies. Read my comment again, Noobest Girl. The burden is on YOU! Men will do what you want and need. Any worth their salt.
OMG I just started listening to this and right up front I just want to say thank you for acknowledging that women sex lives are important because I've been brushed off multiple times because I'm going through menopause and my body isn't working with me. Until I started on HRT I was willing to participate but I didn't get any joy and my husband and I have always been very active and I'll just leave it at that without sharing too much personal information. And I had gone to the doctor and tried to talk to them about it and there was no level of understanding
I do SO wish I had been exposed to this in high school. It seems criminal to let young men loose in the world without this knowledge.
Yes, I feel like this video is perfect for 16-year-old boys. To be honest, if you haven't figured this stuff out by the time you're 30, you're probably a selfish person and are not trying to learn. Don't be shocked if your wife is hooking up with a mail man.
@@LordHolley do women know all the ways of how to pkease a man by 30? An astounding no, so whonis the selfish one, sex involves more than a woman
Thank you for speaking frankly and simply. I could understand all you said. It's too late for my marriage, not that sex was the only problem, but ignorance in this area didn't help. At least now i won't die an ignorant Klingon :)
I'm going to pass this video on to my adult boy and girl, just to be sure they don't miss out.
It’s all about the Clit! Foreplay is the best!! ❤❤
Also LUBE is a must!!
I greatly enjoyed this. It was very informative and, I think, succinct. I have one addition to your first topic of scheduling. This can be even more important AND difficult if you have anyone besides the couple in the home, i.e. children, elderly, or even other adults depending on the individual comfort level of each partner. I think that a lot of people get into a strong habit of sex at bedtime because they wait until their dependents are asleep, and after two or more decades that could be difficult to shift to a more open schedule. Working in not just date nights, but fuller times when the dependents are away under other supervision can open those times up throughout these periods in life, and their sporadic nature will help to break any monotony that can set in when schedules are strict-ish. Also, if you only have a date night/morning, use the morning! Mornings have long been one of my favorite times to enjoy sex, but when you have kids in the house you'd need a partner who wakes up with you before the kids do, and you've got to be ready to be interrupted and stop on a dime. Risky in the sense that you may not get to finish, but that also adds an element of game-like fun for me.
These advice videos/columns always center on what the MAN has to do to please the woman. Nothing is ever said about what a woman has to do…
@@zeebest1004 That's a good point, though Dr. Malik could be focusing on it for a reason regarding her specialization. I think I remember seeing videos of hers that focus on how men's equipment works, so that might help. You could browse her video page. If not, I'm sure someone else focuses on it whose stuff is findable if someone's really interested in learning about it.
@@zeebest1004 truth is, there are lots of advice videos from men about how to increase their performance or how to raise their partner's pleasure. They have some use, but this one really looked at it from the woman's point of view and made it pretty clear that being thoughtful about what she wants is the way to mutual satisfaction. I give these women urologists a lot of credit for not blaming the woman's problems on the men.
This was an outstanding presentation which I wish every couple could see. Also it would help a lot of people if the Church would understand this because sex is not just for procreation.
Amen brother and God bless, in Jesus name.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Love can be not for procreation i like older women who can't get pregnant and having sex is for stronger relationship
Just a friendly reminder God's first commandment to Adam was go forth an multiply aka go have sex. Just saying
Simply a stress reliever decompress from life's idiocy and appreciate each other's company having fun , can be so exilarating , and help you sleep like a baby , relaxed completely ,namaste yoga like zen ,✌️👍🙏😔🔥🐓⚡🌹
Women want to feel desired, they want to feel cared for..as man, apply this to your woman. Most important thing said in the whole video.
I think the same can be said of men. It needs to be mutual.
Outstanding advice. Wish, I knew this decades ago. Thank you so much ladies. Men, just listen & learn.
My wife and I watched this one together and it is so so true. Let Her have her fun, it even arouses me.
Very unselfish you are helps keep the feelings fresh and adventurous exploring her pleasures first , the more open she will be to reciprocate the pleasures you give her and she shows you her pleasure points so openly , pure love is so 🔥✌️👍💪🙏💙💎🖖🤙
I’m glad I was able to figure this out young, I tend to focus more on my Parter first before I focus on myself, the result? She can’t have enough and is always ready for it anytime! The communication on what makes it work and what doesn’t is of huge help and also understanding that, it’s okay to not finish from time to time, if it’s either me, or her, just having a good time for both should be a priority and it doesn’t have an end goal. :)
I found this interview very enlightening and helpful. I realized that sex isn't solely about intercourse; and that there are some simple things I can do to enhance my wife's desire for intimacy. I will definitely be revisiting this video. 😉
True. I also suggest listening to Dan Savage's podcast.
Remember! Communicate is the first step! Ask her in the bed how do you like sex and do exactly the way she said. Forplay I found out is number one. Get her going and it’s all yours from there . Been married 33 years and still can’t get enough!
@@captainkirk7702 Exactly. That's the key difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Gays and lesbians will communicate, check what each other is into, while heterosexuals just assume. A lot of the assumptions are made by the men (especially) because of all the porn they've watched, which is usually a poor depiction of sex, the aim of which is not female pleasure.
Maybe I'll try to slip her some extacy I heard that increased libido in women. Save alot time communicating with the same BS she already knows
both sex and love are things.
intimacy is becoming one with another. most people dont realise this.
Wow! Great points! I want it every day, and my girl likes it about 3 times a week. It's the only thing we fight about. Great info!
Thanks for improving life conditions in our planet
Well rounded, very worthwhile discussion from 2 MD's (whose occupational bias is to specialize in the extreme).
These tips are extremely helpful and priceless 💯👍🏼🙏💕.
4:03 this backfires regularly. It puts pressure at times. Performance (or outcome) expectations can be underwhelming. overthink the upcoming event and it fails to deliver the pleasure.
5:20 most men figure this out after their 30s. If not, tell them! LOL
My grandpa taught me about the little boy in the boat when I was just a young teenage boy, he knew what he was talking about.
This was the best video I’ve played to date on this subject. Now to conquer that communication barrier.
Great perspectives on treating your mate/partner...an great exchange of ideas for both.... Doctors...be safe
The female center of pleasure so called, “G-Spot” is named after a man. That makes perfect sense why it is a myth for most women. The notion of going to a doctor to learn about sex is like speaking a different language to me, but its starting to make sense. Better than just recommending the “5 Love LanguageS.” “Don’t use her wetness as evidence of anything.” Wow! My wife introduced me to coconut oil as a lubricant, and I initially blamed myself. Come to think of it, she has introduced me to quite a bit. Potato/Patata…amazing, I never applied it to intimacy in quite that manner. Religion for both of use, has been the bane of many of our barriers. I think this discussion would be more rounded with menopausal effects. Otherwise, Bravo, I learned a great deal about how to think about intimacy. I am a much better lover in my 50’s than I was in my 20’s and 30’s because my motivations were on the destination, not the journey. Or successes are all due to our level of communication outside the bedroom. Good stuff, Doctors.
Potato? 😱
Not a myth from the women I've gotten naked with in the past 15 years LOL......Good sex starts in the brain. If your partner is fucked up over the whole sex world, find another partner.
@@longsnapper5381 Sad.
@@SQUID_Road_Glide Awwww, why are you sad? Can't you please your man?
Yeah religion ruins most things. Also the g-spot is up for debate.
We often see our men and women in the military and salute them, thanking them for their service. Well…I am certain I am joined by MANY men and women both in AND out of uniform when I say to you both…Thank You for YOUR service! This most excellent video serves as a lesson, refresher course, and most importantly, a beautifully structured REMINDER that will spice up our sex lives, and in many cases REAWAKEN our spirits of experimentation and FUN in and out of our bedrooms. Two PLEASURE SOLDIERS reporting to us from the front lines of the PLEASURE BRIGADE! How cool is THIS?! ❤️❤️❤️
USA has always been in war since 1776.
It's a company and war is their business model.
Example the tv-program 60 minutes asked former minister Albright if it was worth to go in Iraq. There where 500.000 children been killed for nothing. Madeleine said it was worth it. The elite has no empathy. And then brainwash Americans to be so patriotic.
Thank you for your service. A B52 bombing Vietnam and Laos every 8 minutes for years. Thank you for your m murder ING service 10.000 km from home. Why people don't think for them selves or parent teach their children moral?
If I am not mistaken, hormonal cycles that tend to highten sexual desire differ greatly within the two sexes. For the female, this cycle peaks occurs every thirty days or so, and for the male, every three days. Thus, males get unfairly characterized as insatiable beasts. Especially by feminists and angry lesbians. This is a subject that I have only once seen get the proper amount of attention and explanation from health experts. Therefore, males whose healthy bodies are doing a real number on their thought processes and behavior, have, since the beginning of time, been viewed as insensitive “dogs” when it is their healthy human/male biology driving his behavior (and to his sexual/social detriment.) I learned about it when I was in my late twenties from my doctor. Most guys NEVER learn this about their bodies and often pay a steep social price for it! If he hasn't been properly introduced to his own body, how can the average guy be expected to know about the Intricacies of the female body. It's kinda unfair.
Just ask the one you Are with, we Are komplicated, and its unfair, i ikke, but openess is more fair for both!
Ja I have heard of that but only in certain male "bonding groups' that cater to groupies. The problem women are having is not in the promiscuity area but extends to it. The problem woman are having is men not lasting long enough. the situation with them is they dont how know how much is necessary. She just knows when not enough was adequate.
Minutemen are the problem bc women have not learned how to teach them to have a successful, sexual, intimate relationship with her bc she dont know. It has to be by percept or personal experience. most women suffer from lack of sexual frustration that is contributing to their 'free-floating anxiety' that comes from the world with them attempting to balance themselves as females in this world physically, emotionally and mentally. She can only do it through intercourse but she thinks she can do through promiscuity
@@evaeggen6928 If you're paying attention YES!! I could tell just from my wife's taste (even her skin) where she was in the 28 day cycle and definitely much more aroused 5 to 7 days before she started her period. Partners should spend much more time making it especially GOOD when they are naturally horny ... it makes up for some of the other times, I'm sure.
The incel has entered the room….
@@alibernard1366 How is this incel stuff? I think he's saying guys don't know a lot about their bodies and are socially mocked for natural impulses. I didnt even know some of the things he mentioned before just now reading it, so that kinda proves his point.
well, i must say, i am a great LOVER !! in fact, i am soooo good, i have gotten the whole process down to under 3 minutes : )
Nice
Dont fool your self son.
@@thelastdracolich1237 just foolin around Drac.......loosin up...have a giggle
Aaaaaaaand boom goes the dynamite
😂🤣😁👍🏽
Thank you guys for all the infos !!! It is amazing how valuable those info are!!! :)
I completely disagree with the technology component. I've had women who lose interest in "manual" sex because they like their vibrator or tech device "better." I find that tech either desensitizes or at a minimum rewires the brain, much like addiction and dopamine stimulus or porn addiction and rewired expectations. Not every woman will experience this of course, but I do believe there is a chance you can cause more harm than good. Men, learn women's bodies and talk to them about what feels good, what they like. You're learning on "their dime" so-to-speak, it's free info. Women, don't bring the days problems into the bedroom, relax, and enjoy. If it's not working out and your partner doesn't talk, TELL THEM what you like and feels good. That seems to work best. ;-)
I agree, then whats the point of sex at all at that point haha
Best advice ever, I wish I read your comment 1st instead of wasting 18mins of my life.
Good point.
One of the biggest challenges is how to have a mutually wonderful, connecting and non-repetitively boring experience without it being “goal oriented”.
People are just way too invested in "getting off" because they are coming at it from the angle of it being a purely physical thing. Women are not men and although some women climax easily most do not and there is nothing wrong with that. Traditional sex is the best if you really want to develop closeness and enjoy eachother.
I agree, I think you gave more sound advice in the bit you wrote than this "professional"
I’m with you. If it is good, why hurry, enjoy, it’s about rhythm.
But, when your partner, has a deep seated perception. That sex is dirty, and at a base level, of interaction. Talking, scheduling, and technique, don’t get very far. It can be quite lonely, for one, frustrating for the other.
The idea that sex is "dirty" or bad needs to be purged from society. It's the most natural thing like eating or sleeping yet has been deemed taboo. This has its roots in controlling people and destroying freedom.
@@engineeringreality7878 100% agree. I'd imagine almost all cases of people thinking sex is dirty are due to religion. Needs to be eradicated.
@Bill Peterson, sounds like you need a new partner.
Appreciate the information from the granny n lovely Rena Malik
Thanks for the great tips/advice. Could you add something about healthy sexual relationships through and beyond menopause? Reigniting an ember that has burned out. This would be super appreciated.
Patient and compassionate lover always help rekindle the fire back to life , ✌️💪👍🦋😸🔥🌹🙏 open minds can overcome all obstacles in life.. love unbounded.💙😔🤙🖖
Talk to her and tell her you would like to get intimate, and if you can please her first!!!! Because we men don’t take long for sure. That works for me! If you can’t talk then I think the marriage is over.
It's good you women are around to inform us of this subject.
Very informative - thanks. TBH after 40 years of marriage Me and Mrs have managed to capture most of the facts raised, Lucky us!
Unfortunately me watching this is too late for my marriage. I believe I understand now of some of the issues we had after her hysterectomy. I was thinking all the wrong things.
Thanks for this video.
It is a game changer.
Instant menopause.
As a 30 year old... I learned today. Thank you for this!
I’m 59 and it’s still great and I think it’s even better!
Well do your thins oldfarts
Goes along with what you've said, I've found the focus on the foreplay with a long backrub. Her being relaxed has been instrumental in my experience. Rubbing everything but what us neanderthals want to focus on. Briefly brushing those areas, then instead focusing on the area around them. Then paying more attention to those bits slowly increasing the stimulation I've been able to coax multiple Os even before involving toys. One longer session lead to the discovery that spare towels should be kept under the foot of the bed.
Wish I knew all this long ago!
For years I've always felt like I was doing something wrong and that my wife was just having sex with me because it was her Job as my partner and was never really enjoying it. But we are doing ALL THESE THINGS! And have been for years. Thank you so much. I feel so much more confident!
With them being Females as well.. I 101% truly believe in this because they are victims of the experience.
Love the idea of a course.
Really very good stuff. All women need to hear this. Very educative. Always send videos.
I think it is men who need this information more.... As a woman I worked with once said... "Men suck.... And in all the wrong places!"
Awesome video. I'm sure many of us are learning from them. Thanks for sharing
Coconut Oil works great. My wife and I feel good about using it because it is totally natural.
What do you mean by natural? Because it is not really naturally occurring as you must press coconut meat to get it. Though all things are natural as they come from nature. Everything, including coconut oil, is chemical.
Dr Malik,s video looks insanely good.
Amazing doctor. Thank you both.
Use to be a male escort, the amount of women who haven’t been touched the way they actually would like to be is astounding. It has definitely taught me a lot and had very much helped in my current marriage. Please men if you read this, take the time to get to know your partner’s fantasies and how she likes it down there orally and with the help of your buddy. Outside tools are what I would consider a must it isn’t demeaning to your manhood at all in fact she’ll probably choose you over the other guys (trust). Sex is very much a woman dominate activity, remember she is letting you use her body to gain pleasure. Make sure she is getting just as much if not more pleasure because if it.
Thank you doctors for such inside look at intimacies from a Drs preceptive. After living a long relationship with my wife I would always asked her how did we do. She was very Candice, it was not all the time a ten.
good life my good Sir
Sometimes my wife and I both agree we’re not in the mood but we also know that if one of us starts it we will end up in the mood so we always go ahead and go there anyway
You should have intimacy.....it is the glue that holds people together while life tries to kick your ass on a daily basis...........True,whether or not you believe it !!
If only this information was readily available, say, 50 years ago. Great video!
So what you're telling me is that everything is about her and she really doesn't need me. Got it.
Yea i fell the same way.
Yeah, I was, um…yawn…shocked.
“If you schedule sex, it takes the pressure off of all the other days.” When I heard this, it brings to mind that sex is rare and maybe once or twice a week at most.
Scheduled sex time seems boring, awkward and unnatural. Might as well buy from a hooker…if only it were legal like in Europe. A hooker prefers a 3-minute client.
@@robtam7529 lets face it, the headphones lady doesn't seem like she's getting much action lol
@@robtam7529 You are so correct. Boring, awkward, and unnatural ,describes marriage perfectly. Paying a pro for BJ is much better way to go.
Setting a date gives her plenty of time to plan her next excuse.
Totally agree with you
Thank You...looking forward to your course, even at 65...Awesome info, much needed...Thank You again
Thank you ladies! That was excellent!
Awesome educational video! Regarding scheduling time for sex, also schedule it around her ovulation days. Plan romantic dinners and showering attention during those days. Silicone lubes are our go-to lube, but once in a while we also use cannabis infused oil. Doesn't last as long, but the effects are wonderful if you like long drawn out PIV sex.
Olive oil is fab. Lasts a long time and is fully edible. Put a small towel under you to protect the sheets.
Big dumb animals...yours is smelly complicated one. Fair is fair.
Good tutorial, agree with all the points and as a reinforcement of number #1, as I have to use sildenafil, we schedule our sex and then I take the pill about an hour before the appointed time. Anticipation is a strong emotion.