If you REALLY want to know how he feels about you, try this!
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
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Ladies don’t be hard on yourselves! A lot of men are broken and they clearly don’t hVe the capacity to accept love from a woman. He could very well love you and have deep feelings but doesn’t attach out of fear. Not all men but most of them need therapy and tools to trust again. If he isn’t healed you won’t be happy at all.
That’s what I see in my man.
Your so right... That last line got me
My bf and I well,he says he cares about me but his actions don’t fully line up. I mean when I leave his place he always has me tell him when I made it home safely.. and if we ever go out to the store or anything (he doesn’t go out much $issues) he always has me walk in the inside. We have had our issues,cheating,trust,abuse,addiction,and I got dentures but we’ve gotten mostly me sober.I’ve been 18months where I know he relapsed at 9 months. Since then he’s been sober until he got some $(we both arnt working,in treatment ) but he got credits mad $ and cashed in a stock. I know what he’s like when he’s high since I’ve used and relapsed with him countless times. When we got sober in the beginning we were intimate,yet it wasn’t fully connected he wasn’t doing anything..our relationship stopped any intimacy.no nicknames no cuddling no love you hell we haven’t even kissed in years. A week ago I had gotten him off..and a few days after I tried to have sex with him and he shushed me away yelling I kept waking him up. He has a job offer he is saying from his friend and he will be moving in 5months. So he’s been talking to his friend who’s an engineer they are going to be working on a similar project for his friends company he works at so his friends getting this job. He had this depressive issue before the job offer came,but he had said that he couldn’t explain why he couldn’t want to do anything,he couldn’t explain it anyway and then he said it’s hard to explain. So I wonder,because he cheated in the past about 2 years ago and I know he did before, but I’m wondering if he’s cheating emotionally atleast with one person. Bc I’ve caught the phone number and wrote it down. The area code doesn’t line up with the state his friend lives in. So if it’s a landline that is it’s not his friend.. but it is likely a cellphone . I don’t want to call it in case it is his friend since I know this friend is a workaholic so I don’t want to have his friend hear my voice,but I want to know if it is him or someone else. I tried to search but nothing comes up with the number.
His mom came up and visited him like 2 weeks Ago which I checked with some relatives casually who informed me she was coming up so I felt relieved.yet he said she was visiting the next day too which for her to visit it’s another 2hour drive from where she was staying. So I don’t know if she would do that. He says he doesn’t lie yet I caught him in a few mostly when I caught him high,but also when he cheated and told me it was a guy he was meeting when it was a girl.
I’m trying not to be emotional and want to have all the proof when I confront him. But I don’t want to confront him if it’s just his depression or something else. I feel like my needs arnt important as his,that he has no respect for me anymore,that he doesn’t love me nor care about me,and he’s just using me as a placeholder. I mean he’s broken up with me twice and came back but I worry that he sees me as desperate and doesn’t want to stay together. So I feel like he’s emotionally attached to another woman who’s he’s been talking to without me..the camera on the laptop that used to have a sticker over it’s been ripped off.and he couldn’t say why he removed it. Tiny things that are adding up plus my gut isn’t feeling right.
Time to reclaim your life
Yep…I just experienced this. He didn’t feel good enough and pushed me away. I’m so disappointed. He projected his insecurities, pushing and pulling, eventually causing some chaos.
I dont trust words much not even actions. I trust patterns.
These videos make me want to be okay with being alone forever.
Right??? I’m thinking the same thing.
It’s not what a man says it’s what he does. Do his actions make me feel what I need to feel or do his actions instill doubt, confusion, mixed messages….how do I want to feel….
Exactly. How do I want to feel? When I'm interested in someone or am in relationship, I ask myself, "How do my actions make the other feel?" We could solve so many problems with this approach.
Yes, does his actions match what he SAYS? Go w/what he DOES!!!
@@Synder619 THAT ALSO!
I feel you, that’s exactly how I feel, confused, I just don’t get it and it makes me feel sad
@@Synder619 I agree! Words/ talk is cheap! Show me that your words, and actions match!
Thanks. Respectfully, I think it’s normal for women (and men) to want ongoing proof of interest in a relationship, not out of insecurity. My Dad is a loner, but regularly shows Mom how much he cares.
Cheers.
"If a man sees a future with a woman, he will treat her well"..there's Brian's work summed up in one phrase. It's THAT easy.
*Love gives. Lusk takes.*
If you feel emotionally drained when being around someone, that's your cue that this isn't a good relationship. You're just this person's emotional and/or physically "supply" that they'd replace in a heartbeat when a better offer appears. Thank you for the dog analogy. It's perfect 🥰
Spot on.
This is probably the best advice I've ever heard. ❤️
Wish it was easier :-/
@@BluieBeth its as easy as you make it.
@@BluieBethIt hurts a lot, I agree. Especially when you have insecurities but decide to take a chance anyway-- only to discover the Prince Charming persona was just an act. I hope you can heal from any hurt this man has caused you. In time you will thank yourself for walking away ans choosing you above someone too selfish to care about you.
Well said!
This was such a great reminder. I have been wondering if a person has feelings for me but you're right... if he's the right guy, he will be naturally sufficiently motivated and there isn't any need to think about it. The chips will fall where they may.
I believe this to be the upmost truth, every guy I have been with including having kids by were all wrong. Taking notes and LOVE BRIAN!
There are people, though, who grow up in dysfunctional homes and who develop destructive behaviors that prevent them from having healthy relationships which has nothing to do with "destiny".
Actions speak louder than words 💯
If you don’t know how a man feels about you-LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! If someone likes interested or cares for you, there will be no doubts or confusion because they will tell you. Chaos and confusion = GAMES BEING PLAYED!!!! That’s it that’s ALL
Actions speak louder than words. Words are good, but if there are never any actions, words mean nothing. If you never feel respected, loved, cared for or protected, then words are meaningless.
Treating someone well should not only depend on having a future with that person.Treating someone well is a person's nature.A good natured person will treat people well in general.Not only on the basis of having a future with that person.
Ofcourse they probably will be extra attentive towards the person that they like.
Beautiful message, Brian. Even if his feelings are deep, if he consistently hurts you with thoughtless words and actions, the relationship will probably not work. Yes, communication is key, but sometimes people just don't want to change. Let them be.
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am trying so hard to break out of a toxic relationship and have no intention of taking it with me into the new year. Thank you for this wonderful and helpful message. ❤️
Yes, just what I needed to hear
Thank you so much
Me too, I wish us good luck
Drop the dead weight of your ex now, to start the new year fresh. Create a new space for a better person to come into your life. Great advice.
I know it’s hard… and you’ll always find some way to talk yourself out of it. But please trust me, and I’m telling myself this also- think of any time you can’t get back. Think that you can enter the new year knowing that you’ll never again lose time to that pain again. Think of your life and future, and make that be the line that supercedes any other thought or hesitation that comes up. Draw the line at knowing you cannot and will not let one more moment, one more new year of your life, entertain even any facet of this situation. Not at all. Think of that slippery slope of thinking you can handle something differently or that some small interaction won’t matter and remind yourself of when it’s made you backslide in the past. Resolve to make this line permanent. Please do that for yourself, and I will do the same.
you can do it 💗
I agree with your points completely. I was in a short term relationship that continually left me feeling unimportant and unvalued. I broke ties with that person and now just started dating someone who makes effort, is in close communication and treats me so well. How the other person made me feel about myself was the big clue and not what I want for my life! thank you
Pray for us to gain that courage to get out of this pathetic relationship
So happy to hear you're doing well 💓💓💓 I hope you both can make each other happy, you deserve it 🥰
Ultimately it's about someone's actions. How they treat u on a daily basis. It's about consistency as well. They can tell u whatever but if their actions don't match their words for the most part, you know the answer. I say for the most part cuz no one is perfect and ppl screw up at times. Just look at the bigger picture and you'll have your answer. Be honest and refrain from making excuses for that person.
Twenty-four years. That’s how long it’s taken me to realize that I’m not wrong to be unhappy in this relationship 😢
😳
37
Great that you realized it ❤ some never do 🎉 give yourself a high five and a hug 🤗
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Wishing u light and love ❤️
You'll be fine, trust me.
Trust your destiny. Trust and listen to your instincts, Ladies. We know when things feel “off” and are missing the mark in terms of what is right for our well-being. Another excellent video. Thank you, Brian.
Brian’s had a lot of great advice throughout the years and I’ve used him to make sense of a lot of the issues I faced in past relationships. I’m here to tell you not to settle for anyone that EVER makes you wonder how they feel for you. I found the love of my life and he never ever leaves me guessing for a moment. When it’s right, in your heart you’ll know. Not a UA-cam video.
Thanks.❤
Holy crap. Why could I not have gotten this information 25 years ago. :(
Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. This was the shortest relationship I have ever had. Why: dating is easy, we are the ones who makes it difficult. When someone is not all over us, we crave the attention from that person because of our own ego. Why would you even be into a person who is not into us that much? If he never shows interests in you totally avoiding to see your value: why would you even invest your time to choose someone who is not good at seeing the real opportunities ? He would be bad at it further in or without a relationship. So, that person is not that smart as you think now.
I love this, thank you for pointing out how self-defeating it is to ask for reassurance of how a guy feels. As women we can be our own worst enemies by doing this and as you say so well looking for that "hit" of his reassurance (which always gives away our power and that secure feeling from soliciting reassurance never lasts!) Your Emergency Reboot Course helped me to see the guy I loved disqualified himself and was not the right one for me. That helped me keep my dignity and not chase him when he walked away. Two months later a man that loves me for ME walked into my world. The very things the wrong guy complained about me expressing a need for, the right man LOVED about me. I was heartbroken when the wrong guy walked away, but I listened to you and soon I will be marrying the man who daily shows me how he feels by placing my needs and happiness as his priority, all of which he does without being reminded or asked. I will keep listening and learning from you. Thank you Brian for helping me grow. :)
So good to hear a beautiful success story is still possible. Does Brian have courses too?
Am still battling with a heartbreak 💔💔💔. from my widower boyfriend who ghosted me after our first date. I feel real depressed 😔😔😔 with thoughts of him flooding my mind every second. I pray to God daily for healing and my inner peace.
@@danicaharley6273 yes, on his website. His books are great too!
"Keep my dignity" ... you are so right! I have been repeating the word 'dignity' to myself as a sort of mantra and it has helped me to let go of my neediness, I started questioning why i am craving knowing the opinion of the moment, which could change if i were to ask for the opinion that I'm craving
@@danicaharley6273 Yes, his emergency reboot course is amazing!!!!
Well, this video hit me hard. I'm still confused, but then my guy treats me like I don't exist, only when he wants something. So in other words, I have been cold, and distant, stopped texting, and stopped calling, and it eats me up inside. Though, he chases me, but only when he wants to see what I'm doing, in the sense he needs something. But I need to be strong. Last year I bought him a cake, and gifts, for his birthday. He was angry. I was puzzled. So I thought to be kind to show I care, and hoping to get something for my bday. I received absolutely nothing. So this year, he gets nothing. All the tears I cried over his, how he really felt about me, has brought me to my senses. I don't need him, nor do I want him. So I set my boundaries, though it took a long time.
Eveeyone should feel good when they are in a relationship, no matter their sex.
We all need to treat people with the love n respect that we expect to receive, then hopefully it will be meaningfull and not confusing, my thoughts xx
I love the advice you give! It is very wise; my dad had tried telling me these things for years and I didn’t get it. I get it now!
I always trust my gut feelings, definitely not words. Talk is cheap and certainly actions speaks way louder than words.
Words are only words , Treatment and actions, shows me more .
Thank You 🙏
A man can be seen by his actions, not by his words.
I always believe only in actions! And yes, I agree, love can be seen by how a man treats a woman in any situation: good or critical. When you are calm and comfortable next to your partner - this is important!
Definitely needed to hear this. Thanks Brian Nox for being a part of my life ever since the Pandemic started! You’ve helped me heal a broken heart and start over anew. 💜
This makes perfect sense ❤️
You're a genius you're making it easier to understand and simpler to apply. Thanks Heath 😊❤️
I think you are right on in this video! Said beautifully….actions speak louder than words for me! Thank you😊
Thank you!!! I am just learning how to love myself, and that means not being the chaser, they always end up being the wrong one. Let them come to you, if they are that interested, most are not. It's worth a smile.
I have been the same for many years mostly because I was treated badly my husband of 22 years , and had a bad childhood which left me feeling unloved and unworthy..always trying to please men , leaving my own pleasures on the back shelf ..but now I'm older and wiser at 61 and I've had enough of all of that . I have learnt that I am worth everything I deserve in my life and not a single day goes by now when I don't do something special just for me ..
Brian is the best. Explained in the way no one ever explained to me
It's always so hard to see when you are "in" the relationship, but I feel like the answer is super easy all the time. We just don't like it. If we have to ask - it's not a good relationship. Period. Thanks for the reminder, how we feel is EVERYTHING.
This has been the most enlightening advice ever! Thank you for this, I really needed it. I used to think that love would conquer it all and it was all that mattered, but lately I've been noticing things that have changed my whole perception. Your video has been the most helpful!
Thank you for this. I feel it came at the right time. I have been battling narcissistic abuse sustained from my mom, and that self doubt and needing reassurance is constantly there, as she would always imply I wasn’t good enough and all the negative comments come out in myself and the worst being, “I’ve upset him, he’s going to break up with me.” Thank you, thank you, for making and sharing this video and I’m so appreciative of your humor. 😁❤️ I love your videos. 😁❤️🙌
Sorry you had to experience that! 😢
I grew up with similar experience with both of my parents, then an 18-year marriage with a narcissistic police officer. It’s such a struggle constantly battling the feelings I’ve developed on never being able to do anything right or to be good enough for love.
So thankful for tools to help with the battle. Glad you found this too!
I feel the same. I always fear he might leave me, that he does not love me. He doesn‘t talk about feelings and that‘s really hard for me
@@Cheana do you feel blissfully happy and good and loved respected and taken care of? If not.. you shouldn’t fear him leaving, you should welcome that, and you should be the one leaving. Give yourself a great big hug, ask for what you need openly and clearly. If you aren’t getting that.. keep hugging and holding yourself and get moving forward. Somebody else will love you, and in the meantime you have you. Do not ever fear losing someone else- fear losing time, and your joyful connection to yourself. Life is short, go be happy elsewhere if someone else isn’t showing you that. If you’ve communicated or asked or if you feel uncertain. And ask for help addressing these fears.. the right man will help! And embrace you. And if he isn’t.. leave and ask for help elsewhere. Tell people about your fears and don’t be ashamed. I’m sending you love and strength! But please please don’t silence yourself or you concerns ever! Even when they’re silly, face them and ask questions and make moves accordingly. Love you first. You are number one baby.❤
Hey, I had a narcissistic abusive mother growing up and the thing is people who've grown up like this have a high need to be be with a guy who is giving that reassurance and nurturing and who isnt instilling self doubt same as the narc parent did. Not saying it isnt our responsibility to self soothe, but just saying we come by this weakness honestly!
This one was on point Brian! And after having got out of a narcissistic abusive relationship, I really needed to hear this as a sweet but gentle reminder. It was much needed. Thank you for this one. It was sweet, simple, yet pure gold!
Real talk Brian. The actions will give you all the answers you need,whether we accept what we see is down to us. Don’t accept less because you will pay for it later on.
Brian, you are an amazingly good and entertaining speaker. This material is perfect. Thank you so much!
Brian, I love you; you are always helping us, with no foolishness.
God, you make so much sense! And it’s so important - at least to me! I came from a long line of toxic abusive relationships and I feel like listening to you confirmes and reestablishes what normal really needs to be.
I was just contemplating this recently that only how they make me feel matters.
And nothing is an excuse for less. “But he loves me” really amounts to nothing, like the cocker spaniel example.
Thank you for doing these videos. And for being so frank and sensible! As many authors jump on the wagon and simply unethically put content put there aimed at losing your time on the wrong relationship, magically thinking it will be you that changes the other person into something they’re not. That narrative also feeds into unhealthy perceptions of self that keep people drawn to dysfunctional relationships- because having someone tell you it can be done only deepens the misperception that it is indeed you that cannot be good enough to get the right behavior out of the other person. Very twisted and unethical.
It’s so reassuring to hear your sensible, really kind advice - I think you model a healthy type of masculinity and a healthy type of interaction that I can at least say I am very grateful for!
I really needed this message today. Thank you. ❤️
This makes me feel more confident in what I feel currently in the long-distance 'relationship' I'm in.
Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your wisdom.
This is great! I have been addicted to reassurance from other people and I didn’t even realize it. I love the idea of looking for someone showing reassurance vs just words.
So many talkers 💯
This is sooooo reassuring Brian. Thank you ❤🙏
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
This really is good... I've been this way and it's a crazy way to live..
One of your best videos Brian. Thanks!
This is the best advice! We can’t know what’s in his heart, but we do know how he makes us feel. If we feel confused and uncertain all the time with him, then obviously that’s not the life we want, and that’s the only life he can give.
I find it hard to imagine that there are men who actually take time and effort to listen to their woman’s feelings and try to understand. I’ve not met such men. I wonder if you know many men who do care for women’s feelings, and if you do…well…I need to look for them.
Thank you for your encouraging and educational videos!
My ex boyfriend never respected my boundaries but I knew he loved me. Just one example why he's my ex. Thank you for the reminder ❤️❤️
that was brilliant and very... even brutally true! thank you!!!
I simply think... you're Brilliant Brian, thank you! ❤️
Great reminder, thank you Brian
Your humour is unmatched ❤
Always... great videos on everyday life. Thank you.
You are so good! So informative! Thank you.
Never thought of it like that before but makes a lot of sense ❤ Thanks
Thanks Brian - the cocker spaniel analogy really hit home.
Thank you for pointing out what works!❤
This is such a great advice.
Thank you.
Brian, you are very wise. Thankyou. You told me exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank you so much for the reality check!!!
Thank you. This video made me understand why my long term relationship is not working well.
i've been with both. For almost 12 years I settled for let's say it crap treatment. It wasn't until I finally said enough is enough and stopped looking that I found my prince. I was concentrating on myself and enjoying my interests. I think we're told to believe that this is selfish when it's actually necessary for spiritual growth. Wishing everyone peace and happiness in themselves!! ✨💖✨
So helpful!! Thank you for sharing this! 😊
I really appreciate your advice and how you communicate it. I have lots of respect for your work :)
I really needed to hear this to remind myself.. thank you Brian 🥹
Thanks for your time and effort! 💚🎄
So needed this today.❤
Brian you are a wonderful coach ☺️
Powerful point. It is not what they say, it is what they do.
Thank you , you have helped me so much. It's time to either be treated better or time for adios
Thank you for this video. I really needed to hear this message. It explains a lot.
Does his actions match what he SAYS? Go w/what he DOES!!!
Very good insight thank you!
Great analogy with the pet dog, so true!
Wow. I never thought of it this way. Thanks for this.
You are so calming. please make more videos ... please!
Great help! Thanks! God bless!
Thank you for this video he does all the good things you say I suppose I need to calm down I feel comfortable safe and loved ❤❤
The title I was like just ask them but after listening to what you said was so on point. I was just going thru this asking and they say they care but I was looking for the actions and now I believe them because they were showing it not just saying it.
This..much needed 🙌🙌❤️❤️
Thank you very much. It was witty and informative.
daaaaaaamn. this reaally helped me. it was exactly what i needed to hear. thank you
Thank you for your great advice, it is really helpful and made me realise how little I was setting for, thank you for making these great videos
Thankyou for the reminder 💖
Thank you x I have anxious attachment and need to check in every now and then to get myself back x
I think asking a man about his family life when he was growing up and how is parents discipline him is important information
Wish I would have found this channel sooner. We need to hear this stuff.
Very well explained,thanks.
I love your vedios they hit so close to home. And u explain things so clear and to the point. Bless u❤
You speak immensely well. 👍✌
Great information. Thank you!
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I realize now that I am addicted to his reassurance. If I say the wrong thing, he doesn't forgive me. If he says something that upsets me, he doesn't own up to it so everything is always MY fault. Now my feelings are really hurt. He's not speaking to me. I don't know what to do.
I love this SO MUCH ❤
U ROCK HUN🤗😝🤩 ♥ KEEP up the GREAT WORK AND ADVICE!!!! WE ♥ YOU!!!! ALSO, GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY 🙏
Thank you so much for this video (Geert) Brian
It makes so much sense, we are always worrying so much about how others feel about us and how we are. They say if something is meant to be it will be 🤗
But I guess that doesn't take into account our Human over thinkings 🙈
And I love how you love it when we watch to the end 😁
Perfect timing..