Feel Them Pulling Away? - AVOID THIS MISTAKE!

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  • Опубліковано 21 чер 2024
  • Tired of chasing them? Then make them chase YOU instead... This is how you finally get them back. Find out your vibration now and receive a personalized meditation that will raise your vibration to a whole new level here: ➡️ whatsmyvibration.com/
    If you feel them pulling away or pushing away, and what you naturally do is you lean in or you try to get them to come back to you, that energy is what is actually propelling them to do it quicker.
    It is repelling them from you. And in this video, I'm gonna show you exactly what to do if they're pulling away from you so that you can maintain in your own energy, you don't feel dependent on them, and how that also signifies more attraction than you can possibly imagine.
    Now, first off, I understand. I get it.
    If someone pulls away or if someone's walking away, there's a natural inclination to chase them. In my own life, I've had to learn this the hard way.
    The hard way was they walk away, they don't choose you, and you then decide there's something wrong with me.
    I must lean in. I must get them to understand my sense of self-worth. I must show them how worthy I am. I must show them that if I fix them, no one else will do that, and I will then be indispensable.
    That's the belief. But what that actually does is it actually pushes them away even more. Why? Because of this simple energy dynamic. All right?
    People feel what you feel. And when you think of someone, even though you may not physically be around them, you may feel this person pulling away from you from 40 miles away, energetically.
    They're not responding to your text message. They're not getting back as quickly as they used to. And you may then say, you may be thinking about them. Why are they doing that?
    Why are they being that way? Why don't they don't understand how worthy I am, or how valuable I am? Or why aren't they thinking about me? And then you start sending them energy.
    So energetically, you're then sending them energy. And then they feel that and they feel kind of suffocated. And they feel suffocated. So then they want more space. And then they want more space. So what do you do again?
    You double down again. Let me get even energetically closer. Let me call them three more times. Let me respond to even more texts. Let me do all of this. And then what happens is they feel uncomfortable.
    Like, imagine I'm right here. The whole time we're doing this video, I'm pretty close. You might be feeling like, "Dude, just back up a little bit.”
    And if I were to back up a little bit like this and do the video like this, you might be like, "Aaron, come a little bit closer. I want you a little bit closer."
    Or maybe not, and I just make the video from this part of the frame, right? But that's the difference. That's what you're energetically doing when you go and you have somebody that might be pulling away a little bit.
    When they pull away, they're saying, "I want some space." That's it. They want some space so that they can be in their own energy and then they may find that they actually miss you.
    So many times what I've done is I bring the energy back to myself and past relationships, especially when I was in high school and stuff like that, bring the energy back to myself, stop focusing on them.
    And all of a sudden, they come back around. They say, they start realizing. There's more feelings there than they thought.
    Or they start then realizing because it also signifies value and self-respect when you put the awareness back in yourself, when you focus on your own life.
    So energetically what happens is this. Imagine this. Are you liking this video? Do you like this video? Do you like it? I'm getting so close. Come on. Don't you like it? Don't you like?
    And you're like, "Dude, just back up," right? And then I back up and you're like, "Oh, I have more space now to appreciate you.
    I'd actually like you to come a little bit more close." And then here I am at a natural balance part of the frame.
    This is a metaphor for how it works in the dynamic of dating and the dynamic of relationship. Realize the key to a relationship is not codependency.
    And when you lean in and you're trying to fix and you're trying to get someone else to come around, a lot of times what that actually is at a deeper level, too, it's trying to get somebody else to come around so they can see your sense of self-worth.
    They can validate. They can approve of you. They can see that you're worthy. What ends up happening though is the opposite effect happens. It's the opposite. You think in your mind, the belief is, if I lean in, if I try to control, and they will then come around.
    It works the opposite. The degree to which you let go is the degree to which you give them space is the degree to which they are empowered to figure it out themselves.
    That's when they really come within their own power. So understand that for this process, the key, the mantra that you wanna remember is to just let go.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @AaronDoughty44
    @AaronDoughty44  Рік тому +134

    2023 is the year for you to completely upgrade your vibration! see how here! ➡ whatsmyvibration.com/

    • @crusoebower3391
      @crusoebower3391 Рік тому +4

      Cheers brother I just got out of jail and lost my partner. You are a real blessing thankyou

    • @joanne5275
      @joanne5275 Рік тому

      Please get the superheart on the top bar so people can give. There's a video showing how to do it if you don't know how. Thnx

    • @airakhan7979
      @airakhan7979 Рік тому

      Thrs a man asking me to whtsapp him if want to manifest anythg i want. i thgt it you who recommended. So out of curiosity i texted him. He s frm Nigeria. Seems like a scam. Please be alert of this!

    • @crusoebower3391
      @crusoebower3391 Рік тому

      @@airakhan7979 yeah it's pretty obvious hey

    • @airakhan7979
      @airakhan7979 Рік тому

      @@crusoebower3391 ya.

  • @breezepeace531
    @breezepeace531 Рік тому +1172

    “Don’t afraid of losing someone, afraid of losing yourself.”

  • @rosemarybgallet
    @rosemarybgallet Місяць тому +198

    When a person ignores you, they are teaching you how to live without them.

    • @alexiaajamian5236
      @alexiaajamian5236 25 днів тому

      Very nice thank you

    • @sirtype-alot3391
      @sirtype-alot3391 8 днів тому +1

      I have a feeling that's what my GF is trying to do. I video called her on my break at work abd she didn't answer...abd she also didn't even text me a goodnight. When I called her out on it she replied.."You'll Survive" lol

  • @sophiedavidson1579
    @sophiedavidson1579 Рік тому +2692

    - Bring the ENERGY back to yourself, stop focusing on them
    - Give them space
    - Don’t seek external validation
    - Just let go, if they don’t choose you
    - It’s their stuff, not yours
    - Stop abandoning yourself

  • @robert4you
    @robert4you Рік тому +678

    The quickest way to get someone's attention is to remove yours. I do not chase, I attract. What belongs to me will come to me without hardship and without pain. What I attract will stay with me. Always pursue, but do it in a frame of being cool, calm and collected. Never ever chase! Never! Avoid desperation, just patiently wait for results. She already knows how you feel, she's not going anywhere, relax.

    • @rogersyme1368
      @rogersyme1368 10 місяців тому +10

      Great advice!

    • @Prince_Unknown1
      @Prince_Unknown1 8 місяців тому +3

      What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have 2 lil kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids so much and always have to know how they are

    • @robert4you
      @robert4you 8 місяців тому +9

      @@Prince_Unknown1 When kids are involved, a former wife, the economy etc... the situation is of course different compared to the courting stage. My comment was aimed for the stage before it turns into a full fledged relationship, kids, a house, car payments, house loans, a joint economy and everything else. In this circumstance you must have contact to fix all these things. But even then, as soon as possible detach from your ex and heal, heal, heal....

    • @Prince_Unknown1
      @Prince_Unknown1 8 місяців тому +2

      @@robert4you thanks

    • @robert4you
      @robert4you 8 місяців тому +4

      @@Prince_Unknown1 Good luck and always remember to stay calm and collected, even if you are provoked or irritated by your former wife. Calmness will get you so much farther and solve things for the better compared to constant anger, fury, etc...

  • @lerak8452
    @lerak8452 Рік тому +4808

    It's such a pathetic game people play. Relationships shouldn't be difficult but people make them. If you're too nice, if you're too mean. If you give too much attention. If you don't give enough attention. If you're close. If you're distant. It's like Goldie Locks. So sad what people have come too.

    • @lou15176
      @lou15176 Рік тому +337

      I agree ☝️ society has over complicated one of the most natural things. Humans meeting, bonding and interacting with each other. Sounds so easy, feels so difficult (at times) x

    • @Aman-nk5uq
      @Aman-nk5uq Рік тому +164

      Agreed. It's pathetic to be honest

    • @exoticindiaa
      @exoticindiaa Рік тому +25

      This ❤

    • @jonchapman8344
      @jonchapman8344 Рік тому +103

      True. Im an honest man but being honest women say im being dramatic. So you want me to lie. 😅

    • @kaponde2196
      @kaponde2196 Рік тому +20

      I agree

  • @johnreyorenday2316
    @johnreyorenday2316 Рік тому +308

    "and as you start choosing yourself, you then make a space for someone that can actually choose you"

    • @FredrikAntonsen
      @FredrikAntonsen 2 місяці тому

      ❤❤❤

    • @FredrikAntonsen
      @FredrikAntonsen 2 місяці тому +1

      Do you have a tip jar? ❤️❤️❤️Because you are serving! 🥰🥰🥰

    • @yckss17
      @yckss17 Місяць тому

      the one choosing me is fat ugly...
      what should i do?

  • @jrcapix369
    @jrcapix369 10 місяців тому +99

    I would usually say before i sleep " I'm claiming back my energy now, from other people, places and situations I gave my attention to, I am now complete"

  • @T-KRD
    @T-KRD Рік тому +400

    "Stop abandoning yourself", that's powerful, thank you

    • @JAHCUBAN
      @JAHCUBAN 5 місяців тому

      10:20

    • @bocahpetualang89
      @bocahpetualang89 4 місяці тому

      can you explain "Stop abandoning yourself" in the other meaning? becuz english is not my mother tounge..

    • @serenitygilles7064
      @serenitygilles7064 Місяць тому

      YES!

  • @sayless1445
    @sayless1445 Рік тому +304

    You pull away! I pull away! Simple! No chase here✌🏾✌🏾

  • @sisimmonds1472
    @sisimmonds1472 Рік тому +708

    "Are you choosing people who are not choosing you"
    that's DEEP 👌🏾

  • @tigerexo6577
    @tigerexo6577 Рік тому +65

    Choose yourself. Choose people who choose you.

  • @86Kera
    @86Kera Рік тому +172

    But you have to keep in mind that they may end up not missing you but at least you no longer have to put that energy into something that will end up draining you. You do feel a shift in a person’s energy towards you. Everything mentioned makes so much sense.

  • @northshorelight35
    @northshorelight35 Рік тому +243

    If they're pulling away, I'll let them go. I don't have the energy to do anything about it. If they come back I'm going to say "no". I don't have time for mind games. I want to be with someone who is consistent. Been married for over 20 years.

    • @rs5570
      @rs5570 Рік тому +27

      Yes. Doing that will wear you out, eat you alive and use you up. Let them GO and as you said don’t take them back. If you take them back they will put you through it again.

    • @mOOniverse1111
      @mOOniverse1111 Місяць тому

      Smart! Why bother chasing, pulling. All this energy can be used on yourself!

  • @myles2168
    @myles2168 Рік тому +553

    I was unwanted and abused as a kid. You hit the nail on the head....when I'm left feeling unwanted in this adult life, it reminds me of being young.

    • @briannaeilert4422
      @briannaeilert4422 Рік тому +39

      I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. Especially being as young as a child. Those feelings are so confusing... Even as an adult now. I hope things are getting better for you.

    • @AS-on1fz
      @AS-on1fz Рік тому +19

      Mee too, it really sucks.

    • @myles2168
      @myles2168 Рік тому +22

      @@briannaeilert4422 bless your heart....I honestly think the damage has been done,but what I do know is make the most of what and who you have in your life,and I'm grateful for all the good people that surround me. I've just started listening to people like Aaron,and I can truly say that it has helped me quite a bit 💜

    • @adedot7
      @adedot7 Рік тому +21

      I know exactly what you mean. I had abandonment issue as a child. For about 4 years now, I've been learning to let go of my past, forgiving my parents, everybody in my past and myself. This has helped me with my self esteem and being able to walk away from people and things that don't serve me because I was addicted to toxic people and situations; not anymore.

    • @generationalcursebreaker5397
      @generationalcursebreaker5397 Рік тому +3

      Me too

  • @rage0in0the0cage
    @rage0in0the0cage Рік тому +26

    The only person you should always be 100% available to is yourself.
    Take care of yourself first and foremost, everyone is expendable.

  • @LL-ki9em
    @LL-ki9em Рік тому +27

    If someone doesn’t want you just walk away. Cry. Heart pain just do whatever u want to grieve. Then time will heal us. Dun chase for someone who doesn’t belong to you.

  • @ATREASUREOFGOLD
    @ATREASUREOFGOLD Рік тому +85

    “ it’s just fighting to avoid abandonment” … ouch… so true

  • @Nike.Crystalia
    @Nike.Crystalia Рік тому +601

    Chose people who chose you, if they wanna go the door is open, they wanna stay and they show them worth the we give a chance🧘🏻‍♀️🕯️✨💕 this is my energy right now🧬

  • @LaylaBenson-xu3tx
    @LaylaBenson-xu3tx 16 днів тому +14

    With a heart full of joy i thank you Dr oluwaseun for restoring my relationship again with the chants, you're the only sincere one l've seen❤😊

  • @hollygrapher7574
    @hollygrapher7574 Рік тому +54

    Ive struggled with relationships and now i prefer to be alone solitude is better than toxicity

  • @dessi88
    @dessi88 Рік тому +281

    I was doing that mistake. I wasn't pursuing him physically but I was doing it energetically :( now I'm learning how to go back to my feminine energy ☯️

    • @lolelyn1
      @lolelyn1 Рік тому +19

      Same 😓. Eventhough I didn't text him, I was always thinking about why he hasn't texted yet eventhough he said he will and it turned out he didn't write at all.. Now I feel kinda pissed and mad about the whole situation what makes me let the whole situation and my attachment go so much easier.. I think letting go is also a lot about being real to yourself and feel emotions.. i think it's an act of selflove and selfworth to be sad or angry about things.. the problem is I tend to forbid myself to feel them and that makes it even harder..

    • @judydavenport9698
      @judydavenport9698 Рік тому +4

      How do you go back to your feminine energy

    • @DO-ez7mz
      @DO-ez7mz Рік тому +1

      And?

    • @theworldisimmense
      @theworldisimmense Рік тому

      @@lolelyn1 I got a little story from a girl at the gym , lmk maybe you can give some advice

    • @rs5570
      @rs5570 Рік тому +1

      Yes. Don’t even think about them. If you do, they will feel it.

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid Рік тому +171

    Even in your darkest moments, you are feeling something. If you're not feeling, you're simply just existing, and that isn't what living should be about.

    • @Lexmycity
      @Lexmycity Рік тому +1

      Realest thing to remember

    • @jeoe88
      @jeoe88 Рік тому

      Great ! When i say i fear death because i fear no existing i rather even hell ‘cause that way i still exist ,
      I got to deatach from that fear , embrace the nothing “Osho “ would say

    • @tagunprice9762
      @tagunprice9762 Рік тому

      @@jeoe88 That's interesting because I'm the opposite. The idea of hell or even eternity in general freaks me out so bad. But if I knew that I would just stop existing after I die I would be relieved. Because if you don't exist then you can't feel pain, or boredom, or anything.

  • @anushreekm8507
    @anushreekm8507 Рік тому +96

    Maturity is when you realize ur self worth and move on. Cause you might have tried 100% to save ur love for them but still if u feel ignored or unloved by them, just step back and give importance to urself, be patient and let the right person recognize ur true love. All is well👍☺

    • @anushreekm8507
      @anushreekm8507 Рік тому +4

      I had a one sided love. I truly loved him. But he said he had no such feelings over me. I can't take off my love for him. But I am trying. Hope one day I will become free from this. ☺

    • @brocklesnar3603
      @brocklesnar3603 Рік тому +1

      ​@@anushreekm8507 have you moved on ??

    • @anushreekm8507
      @anushreekm8507 Рік тому

      @@brocklesnar3603 I am trying day by day...u know it takes time

    • @brocklesnar3603
      @brocklesnar3603 Рік тому

      @@anushreekm8507 same here , my crush is also ignoring me , it feels really sad

    • @anushreekm8507
      @anushreekm8507 Рік тому +2

      @@brocklesnar3603 it's ok..it takes time..U don't expect ur crush to love u back...

  • @NiceTry469
    @NiceTry469 Рік тому +400

    Let me share with you my experience with this because it works, but only in certain ways. Let them miss you, do no contact, all those good things. But the MOST IMPORTANT THING. Work on the things YOU have issues with. Put work and time into yourself so intentionally that you literally start to become the version of yourself you always were supposed to be. They can miss you and may want to eventually come back, but ultimately if you put no effort into yourself and your own shortcomings with YOURSELF, you will not be able to fix the relationship

    • @jessicarowling
      @jessicarowling Рік тому +6

      This im doing and will get my shortcomings sorted in JESUS NAME

    • @user-xu4xj2cd2j
      @user-xu4xj2cd2j 8 місяців тому +4

      I've done that and I'm a different person and became a far better man but doesn't seem like she'll ever give me a second chance. Life just seems empty without her

    • @Prince_Unknown1
      @Prince_Unknown1 8 місяців тому +4

      What if its your wife and she's seperated and at her mother's place and you have kids with her? You can't stop contacting her because of the kids...I wish I could not contact her but I love my kids and always have to know how they are

    • @blackpantherandfamily4793
      @blackpantherandfamily4793 8 місяців тому +2

      ​@@Prince_Unknown1Pray for you brother tough times, cant believe time is changing and she is not with me now. I will try this if its gonna work but im gonna work abroad in october 18, and i wanna see her for one last time before i live,

    • @rosearered17
      @rosearered17 8 місяців тому

      i agree to this

  • @edleer11
    @edleer11 Рік тому +67

    “It wasn’t your fault” - that hit me.

    • @serenitygilles7064
      @serenitygilles7064 Місяць тому +2

      every time I hear the part I feel like crying...every time . BIG HUGS

    • @celemax4692
      @celemax4692 Місяць тому +1

      I understood so many things when he said that. Childhood trauma unresolved. Almost started crying.

    • @ontariohiddenpearls
      @ontariohiddenpearls 18 днів тому +1

      Reminded me of Goodwill Hunting!!!

  • @Remember-Death
    @Remember-Death Рік тому +22

    "I'm not good enough, people don't choose me."
    Man, that struck a nerve in my soul. That sentence encapsulates so much of my younger years.

  • @aritrachakraborty251
    @aritrachakraborty251 9 місяців тому +47

    Man this worked like magic. I understood the concept of giving and having space for myself. And after one month that person started a conversation with me and fixed everything herself. Thanks Aaron.😊

    • @jo-annenordin7032
      @jo-annenordin7032 4 місяці тому

      So glad everything work out good for you may you guys still be happy

  • @elyksteeley1181
    @elyksteeley1181 Рік тому +120

    Just recently realized this with a girl I've liked. Started getting self conscious and nervous. "I have to make sure this works with her, don't mess this up" constantly walking on eggshells to make sure I don't make myself look like a fool around her. This extreme self consciousness was ultimately doing more damage than helping, and I ended up having a wonderful epiphany the other night: If I can't just be comfortable and be myself with this girl then this is never going to work, and even more so, she won't feel comfortable with me either. And even more so, maybe she and I just aren't a match after all. That was such a moment of clarity for me and things are so much better now. Just. Let. Go. If it doesn't work out with whoever you like, then it wasn't meant to be.

  • @Docandballtorture7756
    @Docandballtorture7756 Рік тому +69

    My girlfriend actually called me out on this behavior, but what was special about her is that she didn't leave me or call me pathetic, needy, or a loser she understood why I'm this way (she's getting a degree in psychology) and helped me through it. Now I'm a lot better about this and feel way better

  • @snapcracklepop360
    @snapcracklepop360 Рік тому +78

    COMMUNICATION! It’s ultimately the key to everything. You can’t go by week after week staying silent with your partner. Express yourself on a daily basis before you meet someone and when you do find your person you will already be good at expressing your love and feelings with them. You will gain respect from your partner and they will know exactly how you feel about them and won’t have to assume anything that may be incorrect. My gf just broke up with me and I’ve already learned that was the main reason it happened. I didn’t express myself and my feelings of the future (even the things that bothered me) and so she assumed that I didn’t care enough about her to move forward with her. I was stuck in my own head and it got in the way and crumbled the relationship over time. Practice your love, become comfortable with it and you will find someone that enjoys you for who you are ❤

    • @ailyntan1539
      @ailyntan1539 9 місяців тому +3

      I AGREE with you!COMMUNICATION is the ultimate key in everything!I feel sorry for what you’ve been through but I’m pretty sure you’ll gonna meet someone who is the perfect and right person for you!😊

    • @user-scorpiara
      @user-scorpiara 9 місяців тому +3

      I agree, no one should need validation from me because they won't play games.i love communication, honesty and clarity.this push pull thing is bollacks. If I have to pull away, they weren't worth it

    • @dat1tacoguy936
      @dat1tacoguy936 9 місяців тому +3

      Love communication. Just wish I had found this video earlier this year

    • @BTinHD
      @BTinHD 8 місяців тому +1

      I believe what he is saying here in the video is, yes, communicate, but from place whereby you're centred in yourself, not out of a place of insecurity. I too am going through what you're going through, but for slightly different reasons. Take care.

    • @madridejosryuchan
      @madridejosryuchan 8 місяців тому +1

      This is exactly what I want to tell my partner. I wanted to be close to him and trying to but it feels like there's a thick wall between us that i cant break.. and then i get thought of as not supportive enough, or flirting with other guys (im not)..

  • @OYEYEMI-hm8yo
    @OYEYEMI-hm8yo 16 днів тому +14

    I can't thank you enough DR OLUWASEUN for the spell you casted for me🥺❤️ I will forever be grateful😇

  • @kimberlygillis9074
    @kimberlygillis9074 6 місяців тому +5

    This is so true. You can actually feel them pulling away from you even when you are not in their presence.

  • @mbha.ngubane
    @mbha.ngubane Рік тому +7

    It all comes down to the law of supply and demand. The more love and attention you give to someone, the less valuable the response or reaction you will receive back

  • @EMBL2011
    @EMBL2011 3 дні тому

    "As you're choosing yourself you're making space for someone who can actually choose you". Good point.

  • @CPE1704TK5
    @CPE1704TK5 10 місяців тому +7

    They feel uncomfortable because they are worried that you might ask them to take responsibility for their choices. Let’s make sure we all bend over backwards and give them all a perfect pain free existence since they made such an effort to protect our feelings!

  • @MrDSmith
    @MrDSmith Рік тому +74

    I’m going through this right now. I’m choosing someone who isn’t choosing me, so I’m going to follow your advice and let them go.
    I absolutely act as you have outlined and this is a light switch moment of realization of how toxic and backwards my self-hate is from childhood abuse. I will fix myself for me so I can learn to love myself and stop abandoning my self-worth.

    • @Schmalzlocke123
      @Schmalzlocke123 Рік тому +3

      How did it go for you ?

    • @abbz23
      @abbz23 11 місяців тому

      Ikr same going through it too

  • @yourhealingjourney9824
    @yourhealingjourney9824 Рік тому +55

    I'm in my own frame and honestly thanks you, Aaron. It has changed my life. Even if people haven't come back, I've learnt to gather myself and feel good about myself. That's what matters the most

  • @vinyltimewithamy1984
    @vinyltimewithamy1984 Рік тому +75

    I’ve been holding back. Not chasing because I believe in my own value. This just gave me another win to keep bringing the energy back to myself. Thank you!

  • @theinfinitevic9017
    @theinfinitevic9017 Рік тому +14

    "I choose you".
    "I choose Myself".
    Feels great. Thanks, man.
    Also, "it's not your fault" was on point.
    Pure Gold, my Beautiful Brother.

  • @TwistedSisterK
    @TwistedSisterK Рік тому +34

    Wow, this is all so true. I always give people physical space but had been sending healing thoughts / energy to my TF when feeling their sadness instead of focusing on myself first. Thank you so much for shining a light on this ego obstacle to overcome. You're definitely a lightworker, can see it in your eyes. Thank you, beautiful soul; peace.

  • @Cosmicsurfpro
    @Cosmicsurfpro Рік тому +75

    If you want somebody so bad that you can't be happy without them don't think that you can't forget about them. Stay busy maybe smoke weed and don't let yourself think about them and within a month they are not that big of a deal 🤙✌️💪

  • @MysteriousRNP
    @MysteriousRNP Рік тому +26

    This video reminds me to take a step back and give myself energy back that I don't realize I really need it right now. Thank you so much ❤️

  • @vickytsivel8869
    @vickytsivel8869 Рік тому +8

    I've been following you on IG for a while and I've just bumped into your UA-cam videos and I have to say that there are bits where I can truly tell that you feel what you say down to your core, like at 6:42 when you say "feel that self-respect for MYSELF", the way you emphasize that, it truly conveys so much self-compassion, while the tone of your voice is really touching.
    Keep it up, Aaron!

  • @winniewinkles
    @winniewinkles Рік тому +20

    I was gonna say If you feel them pulling away, tell them to f off.. Lol! Thanks Aaron, love ya!

  • @babyj5298
    @babyj5298 Рік тому +13

    Wow!!! what an example of pulling back. Self respect, that's my motto for the year. No more investing energy where it isnt worth or of use.

  • @AFO3310
    @AFO3310 Рік тому +6

    It's amazing how true this is. I've learned the hard way as well. It's 100% natural instinct to chase. DON'T CHASE!

  • @Princessk8
    @Princessk8 Рік тому +5

    This is some good stuff. It's important to remember that, as much as we want to, we can't make someone stay. We can't change the direction another person wants to go. The best thing to do is to accept that first, and then go from there depending on the situation. But it all comes down to being emotionally stable and finding happiness within yourself.

  • @revealiam
    @revealiam Рік тому +13

    Ahhh this guidance points for all relationships - personal and professional. I enjoy my own auric space and some others find that difficult to accept. I use to spend too much energy navigating their insecurities. Or run like hell - which serves no one. A video from the other perspective - enabling the clingy - would be grand! Thank you for all you do!

  • @giancarlojacobs9982
    @giancarlojacobs9982 Рік тому +157

    My friend group was very distant towards me in 2022 (unless they needed /wanted something from me). I would try to engage with them one on one thinking if I performed random kind gestures for each of them that things would change, but they continued taking my presence for granted and prioritizing each other while ignoring me. I left the group in Fall 2022 and distanced myself from them for months, after which they began telling me how the group hasn't been the same without me, inviting me to parties (that i knew I'd be ignored at) , and asking when they (as a group) would see me again. They all separately invited me to a New Year's Eve party that I politely yet instantly declined. It's strange that when I stopped wanting their friendship they made genuine effort to get me back in their lives , but when I was actively in their lives they barely noticed (again unless I was providing something for them).

    • @nutellajizz9459
      @nutellajizz9459 Рік тому +25

      glad you see ur worth 💛✨️

    • @LovelyMel99
      @LovelyMel99 Рік тому +18

      It’s crazy but people take your presence for granted well done

    • @revealiam
      @revealiam Рік тому +17

      Your body knows the correct energetic invite for you. Your people will show up as you continue to honor you. You are worthy!

    • @KevinMeehanWhistle
      @KevinMeehanWhistle Рік тому

      Fuck them. You now see your worth!

    • @thirstonhowellthebird
      @thirstonhowellthebird Рік тому +15

      @@LovelyMel99 I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you might’ve been the scapegoat of the group. There are some groups that just like to ignore people and shun them because it makes them feel powerful. Something about you must make them feel “less than“ so they have to put you in your place when the reality is you’re just a good and kind soul who mirrored back more than likely all the things that they are not and that made them feel some kind of negative way and they responded by treating you how they felt. Good to move away from them. Sounds like they are jealous.

  • @julieheinemann7654
    @julieheinemann7654 Рік тому +9

    Aaron- you don't know HOW much I needed to hear this message right now! Thank you, thank you , THANK YOU!!!! xo

  • @cathleenmutnick6857
    @cathleenmutnick6857 Рік тому +2

    Holy crap. You just explained what I've been struggling with for 54 years. Thank you.

  • @borrisdillan9783
    @borrisdillan9783 Рік тому +5

    wow.. i cried... dude.. i need these words to slap on my face... "Let Go" is always hard on my part especially when you build this special feelings towards that person.. but what you said is true.. very true.. i just need this strength... i know my worth.. i believe someday i will the right person for me..

  • @ilovesatla
    @ilovesatla Рік тому +11

    I just made that mistake a while ago. The absurd part is that I knew that i'm doing a mistake but I was really desperate and needy, I'll gladly take a time machine now to fix things but this is not realistic. Instead I'll learn from my mistake to be a better man for the next time. Thank you Aaron, I really needed that video

  • @gricel8402
    @gricel8402 9 місяців тому +6

    Guys, if someone you are truly being kind, loving , caring and open to in a healthy manner and they take this as you being " too much" . This individual is not your person. They are not for you. Move on.

  • @kerry-leeslamat252
    @kerry-leeslamat252 Рік тому +16

    I have chosen myself 🙋🏻‍♀️😁💯.....❤️🙌
    I AM ENOUGH, MORE THAN ENOUGH, INDEED! I'm re-investing my energy into myself and letting go.
    THANK YOU AARON for imparting your knowledge with us 😁🙋🏻‍♀️

  • @austin6041
    @austin6041 Рік тому +156

    Been binge watching watching your videos and meditating and trying to re-balance my energy like crazy since me and my girlfriend have been in a breakup/break of sorts over the last week. Since the night we broke it off we haven’t talked and I feel honestly way more amazing than I did that day bc I’m genuinely trying to focus all of my codependent energy back to myself and I’m learning a lot about this. Still hasn’t deleted anything of us or changed any profile pics. I think genuine space is making her realize things. It is for me too. Not even sure how I FEEL anymore! Haha. But I’m moving forward day by day and that’s all that matters
    So thank you for your videos! I would be a MESS right now without you man. Thank YOU

    • @maryanngarcia3798
      @maryanngarcia3798 Рік тому +1

      How are you now?

    • @villanellesdyke
      @villanellesdyke Рік тому +1

      Curiously asking, how are you doing now?

    • @austin6041
      @austin6041 Рік тому +10

      @@villanellesdyke I am doing alright. I was really upset because I found out she was lying and cheating on me towards the end of our relationship through friends of friends… and we actually have a class together at university. But, I’m dealing with it fine. I have no resentment towards her, and I don’t care to have her back in my life romantically. I’m solely focused on myself, all humans have flaws, and it’s harder on the self to harbor hatred, than it is to love and forgive. Remember that

    • @austin6041
      @austin6041 Рік тому +2

      @@villanellesdyke I am still meditating daily and watching videos daily. All helps.

    • @villanellesdyke
      @villanellesdyke Рік тому +4

      @@austin6041 oh wow im sorry for hearing this ending. And damn you got strength my friend! Definitely doing the right thing to shift your energy and attention back on yourself, im trying to do the same as well. So many people are on this journey with you!

  • @WeissLiebe
    @WeissLiebe Рік тому +8

    It is so true. It's irony of how it works.
    I gained a lot of confidence going to therapy, and it's changed my view on everything and that has changed my attitude and the way people look at me.
    I wish I went to therapy so many years before. I wish everyone would go and then it would be a world 10 times better cause everyone would be so mature and in control of themselves ❣️👌🏼

  • @nishinesss
    @nishinesss 11 місяців тому +7

    Too helpful !! Value yourself, what is yours will come back to you, if it didn't it was never yours.. don't loose yourself..

  • @korosu8424
    @korosu8424 Рік тому +1

    It's insane that this video was recommended to me today of all days. Thank you for this

  • @fairpoet81
    @fairpoet81 Рік тому +4

    🔥Blessings from Austin, Doughty! You teach us so much. Flying High here. Happy 2023 everyone! 💥

  • @randyredman
    @randyredman Рік тому +47

    And also like you’ve said in other videos when you’re doing this process you’re not doing it to get someone potentially back (manipulating situation) but doing it just for you to get “you” back 🎉❤

  • @camjones5553
    @camjones5553 Рік тому +1

    I literally needed this today. I didn’t even search for this video, it popped up in my recommended

  • @daniellemoreno1987
    @daniellemoreno1987 Рік тому +16

    This is something I'm guilty of right now. This video hit me hard. Did not expect to break down! Thank you for making this video.

  • @cailic.774
    @cailic.774 Рік тому +48

    Aaron you've truly changed my life. The last 6 months i've listened to your podcasts/all your videos, found your videos at a perfect time because I was the one chasing. You really changed my whole mindset and got me on a path to choose myself, and give others the advice i've learned from you too! Keep making videos and inspiring us all to realize our worth!!

  • @Andrew_Garza
    @Andrew_Garza Рік тому +7

    It’s tough when you learn and realize this too late, I needed to hear this.

    • @Ladybugginit
      @Ladybugginit 3 місяці тому

      It's never too late. You're right on time.

  • @mildamilda3211
    @mildamilda3211 2 місяці тому +76

    My daughter thought you were Jesus 😂

  • @quiquemejiatejeda5254
    @quiquemejiatejeda5254 Рік тому +4

    I' m so glad i've found this video, i had a really hard day cause i'm in the breakup process and i found this video as food for the soul

  • @ianhiggins4663
    @ianhiggins4663 Рік тому +5

    Thanks Aaron , it’s long overdue but this is finally starting to click with me, keep it coming.

  • @brentvanderzanden3891
    @brentvanderzanden3891 Рік тому +65

    Perfect timing!

  • @ryanedwardwolfmusic
    @ryanedwardwolfmusic Рік тому +14

    Aaron I don’t know you, but this video really made me feel a lot better about my situation- and I just wanted to truly say thank you. This helped a lot, I’m thinking about things in a more positive light and I appreciate you so much for making this one. Have a great life, cheers mate!

  • @MaybeBeni
    @MaybeBeni 2 місяці тому +2

    Really needed to hear this. I have abandoned myself for some time now, and I need to give myself all the love I’ve been wanting to give someone else. Thank you for this video man ✊🏼🖤

  • @llkg9
    @llkg9 Рік тому +6

    I gave my spouse space, and they filled it with everything but me. Now I'm counting the days til our youngest kid is grown and I leave.

  • @Beth1300
    @Beth1300 Рік тому +4

    Your videos are always so insightful and go way beyond the topic expected. I feel like I always learn something from them and get a boost!

  • @carlosmira4635
    @carlosmira4635 2 місяці тому +1

    This man just said the truest words I ever had the pleasure of hearing. I needed that

  • @dillo5881
    @dillo5881 Рік тому

    I used to watch this dude, and I never really believed a lot of what he said, I wasnt on the same level back then that I am now, randomly came across this. Needed it. Peace love and light to you all.

  • @Selfmagnet
    @Selfmagnet Рік тому +14

    Ouch that hurts 😢 I definitely have some abandonment issues. I felt like a wall. I’ve been choosing me lately

  • @CambiaSeTuMejorYo
    @CambiaSeTuMejorYo 11 місяців тому +4

    It’s actually true! Thank you very much for expanding on the subject taking into consideration the energy, I was wondering why I was feeling like crap. The moment I stopped trying to pull her back with my thoughts, it suddenly my energy came back to me and felt very at ease and calm. I will definitely stop thinking about her and yes, I had a problem with abandonment in my childhood and finished a codependent relationship. Finally I and making my way to total emotional healing. You nailed it 👍🏻

  • @Patriotgirl1130
    @Patriotgirl1130 Рік тому +3

    They want space so they can get into their own energy!
    I like that! ❤ makes a lot of sense

  • @jenniferklopman2557
    @jenniferklopman2557 Рік тому +3

    Do that frame technique he's talking about! It works ❤ I'm only in the beginning stages of making these changes and all of this is truly helpful. No nonsense approach to knowing, valuing and truly loving yourself. Keep going, there's a tremendous prize waiting for you!!!
    And he's right, you ARE worthy AF and deserving of all of that love you've been putting out. Chose yourself

  • @fabios779
    @fabios779 Рік тому +7

    Dude…this videos are like therapy. I needed this SO F MUCH!
    Do more…please!

  • @juniorfelix6776
    @juniorfelix6776 Рік тому +4

    I know people usually watch these videos and say that they needed to hear this or the person reported their life 1000% accurately!
    But duuude, this is me! For the 1st time, I relate 100000% to a video like this! It’s like you’re talking about me specifically and directly! Daaamn! Thanks!

  • @jonnyh7936
    @jonnyh7936 Рік тому

    I so needed this , first time Ive seen one of your videos.... very relevant for my current energy and whats going on in my life and has been repeating over and over.... Adopted at birth then bought up by emotionally unavailable caregivers.... Ive never felt enough, attractive or wanted..... its time to turn the corner and change the record. Bless you Aaron... this touched me deeply

  • @pandababyz77
    @pandababyz77 Місяць тому +1

    I wasn’t expecting this message to strike reality in me. Even shed a little tear. Great job 👏🏾

  • @gabriella_123x
    @gabriella_123x Рік тому +12

    You made this video that I really needed to see at this moment . Thank you!

  • @DiariesOfaPhOenixRiSinG
    @DiariesOfaPhOenixRiSinG Рік тому +17

    Wow such profound wisdom. This resonated so much with me. I needed this. Thank you Aaron! 🙌🫶🙏 Happy New year! 💜

  • @IdExCS
    @IdExCS Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much for this, I'm going through a terribly sad breakup, and I needed this.

  • @lanvshla2546
    @lanvshla2546 11 місяців тому +1

    Omg! I’m so glad I’ve come across this video I’ve been listening allot about not chasing ppl in relationships and all that stuff but this one really hit differently the part about the fear of abandonment I’m 29 and I have mental health abandonment issues and I’m trying so hard to know the reason and had doubts about how my parents didn’t give me the attention I needed but It still didn’t stick and actually your words really helped getting rid of some of the anger towards them “it wasn’t your fault they weren’t there it’s not because you weren’t worthy that happened because they had their own stuff going on”. And simply Just because you’re afraid of abandonment doesn’t mean you should abandon yourself which is so much worse! That really hit hard and gave me so much clarity because it really starts there once I abandon myself just to be with someone that’s where it takes a turn to a dark place! it’s all downhill from there.

  • @hibaal-sharif374
    @hibaal-sharif374 Рік тому +181

    I think this kind of dynamic is immature like can't ppl love each other both ways I just dislike the whole chasing games

    • @malhunt7
      @malhunt7 Рік тому

      Games are played by unhealthy, emotionally stunted fools.

    • @KNOCKOUTCLUBFC
      @KNOCKOUTCLUBFC Рік тому +31

      It is what it is, we didn't make the game, we're just the players

    • @EviLxFifi
      @EviLxFifi Рік тому +2

      This!

    • @krs10xnicole
      @krs10xnicole Рік тому +3

      YES 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    • @yashadiwal5712
      @yashadiwal5712 Рік тому +8

      Ikr,, feels like holding back ,,, just because the world is so fucked up around us,, and so in a way the whole world is the culprit

  • @meiforest5769
    @meiforest5769 Рік тому +7

    What you said hits me hard. True. You're right. Their pulling away has nothing to do with my worth. If they want me, they will come back. If not, that's still fine. I don't know if there is really someone better out there among 8 billion people, someone who is meant for me, someone who is willing to stay no matter what but ... I will keep my hope and faith. Thank you for making this video. I do feel like it links to some moments in the past when I felt neglected and ... I did have to prove myself to receive care and attention. I will care about myself now. It's hard to do because I have never really cared about myself. Gonna try my best. Just feel mentally and emotionally drained, resent and all the negative emotions ... This is gonna be a long journey for me ...

    • @carlauchoaknoll
      @carlauchoaknoll Рік тому +1

      Good luck for you. It is pain full the journey to meet/heal ourself but it is worthy. It is more painful to realize we've spent precious time of our life trying to fix other people in our life who doesn't chose us. Negligencing ourself is insane. Choose you anyway ❤️

    • @meiforest5769
      @meiforest5769 Рік тому +1

      @@carlauchoaknoll Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, learned the lesson the hard way sadly. Just want to have someone reciprocating my feelings but oh well, what will be will be I guess.

  • @Lyslyou
    @Lyslyou Рік тому +5

    This is really interesting and deep!!! I love this :)
    Choose you, Focus on yourself, Bring back the energy on yourself...If they pulling away let them go...
    You are enough !!
    These are so true
    Thank you :)

  • @allsky4203
    @allsky4203 11 місяців тому +2

    thank you for this video, i've been thinking about this girl that has been pulling away from me and i could't think straight because she made me feel the emotions i think i've never felt. I was scared of letting go, thinking i won't be feeling those things without her, but this video is a confirmation of what i've been thinking of for the last few days. Life goes on, if she doesn't come back i will still have myself

  • @ava198
    @ava198 Рік тому +6

    Ugh was feeling playful but then you said some truth that made me cry 😪

  • @bacon_affair4480
    @bacon_affair4480 Рік тому +5

    I love the camera distance analogy. I spent a long time praying driving myself crazy at my bottom I told god i needed change I needed a sign or I was on the break of ending it all, things started breaking apart and got worse I know now things must remove themselves from you and vice versa to rebuild in the same. I then got an opportunity to leave my job to work another independently and pieces came back together but my love life was still non existent and I didnt understand what was wrong with me it was heavy on my soul and that's when the revelation came when my boss was so needy like he owned me blowing me up all the time I'd tell him I was sick he was super attached like he wouldn't let me say no to go anywhere it hit me so hard how horrible this needy energy is that I've been putting into the universe. I shut down and pulled all of my energy into myself and since I realized I am my soulmate the love i feel for myself i never thought was possible people are attracted to me it truly is unbelievable and i think God for showing me this sign. I cant stress this enough how important it is not to attach yourself to anyone's energy stop trying to be a magnet.
    Edit: I have a friend that is very good looking and women fall in love with him everywhere I asked him what the secret was and he didnt know he said I'm just nice to them and they are attached that was the second part of my revelation he is in love with himself not in a bad way but he finds true love and happiness within himself he is attracting because hes complete and people want that

  • @AntonioMonteirooYT
    @AntonioMonteirooYT Рік тому +2

    Hello Aaron, thank you very much ... this video made me realize that really things are not always the way we think and how sometimes we forget to have respect for ourselves!

  • @Mamaratchet
    @Mamaratchet 2 місяці тому +2

    Brooo!!! Ur better than therapists or psychologists!! I love this content!! I did come here and now I’m thinking I am choosing a person that’s not choosing me- Real Talk!!! Wow 🤯

  • @TheMediumChannel
    @TheMediumChannel Рік тому +5

    Great metaphor with the distance from the camera...yeah, that was me, and yeah from childhood wounding..... but I realized what was happening energetically by learning how to see myself from a different vantage point other than the lens of the ego and I fixed it through reprogramming techniques I use and compared to even a couple years ago I really AM attractive AF...Happy New Year!!!

  • @VincentiaDevina
    @VincentiaDevina Рік тому +4

    This video came to the suggestions at just the right time. Thank you, I very much needed this.

  • @crnyilmaz
    @crnyilmaz Рік тому +1

    Wow, this is the video that I would come back to and watch every second once more. Thanks a lot.

  • @phantomwatcher8170
    @phantomwatcher8170 10 місяців тому +1

    This absolutely works 100%. The minute you say I don't need that person I'm happy with myself I'm happy with my life if someone comes into it great if someone doesn't great I have my family I have my kids and you really truly do not need validation it sounds simply said but it takes a lot of work sometimes to get to this point but once you're there it is phenomenal and so true you always had the power this proves it I've tested this myself when I stopped caring about outcome and said you know what I'm good either way things drastically changed for the better