Why Is She Still Single at 29?
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
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Desperation will give off a “ scent” that can potentially attract narcissists, Psychopaths and other predators. Careful.
Honey that female is the narcissist predator and psychopath all in one. It doesnt want to care about others it only want others to care about it.
👆
Desperation leads to codependent relationships.
Honey that female is the narcissist since it only care about itself.
1000000%
"Better to be alone for all the right reasons than to be with someone for all the wrong ones."
The world has become a strange, strange place. If a woman doesn't want to be married and have a family.. people come out with claws to tear her apart and diss her for being a loner and undesirable and predict that she'll be an old ugly cat lady someday..
But if a girl says she desires settling down and feels sad that it's happening for all her friends while she's struggling to find someone to build a family with.. people are laughing at her for being desperate and say it gives off a scent.
Tell me just put this PSA: it's normal for women to want marriage, commitment and children! Men have gaslit women to think wanting marriage is crazy, clingy and desperate behaviour. They have tricked women into cohabiting with them, without marrying. They have knocked up women and have several kids out of wedlock. They have used women in wife capacity without giving her wife status. And then when they hit a bump on the road they say "where did all the good women go?"
I'm pretty much like that at the moment
This is a very all or nothing attitude that doesn't belong in relationships. It's easy to find a partner who will treat you right, especially for women, but they often choose the guys for the wrong reasons without looking at character. If she wants someone with character, she has that option, but he's probably not as attractive as she would like (but close) or as rich as she would like (but he makes enough) or he's just not a "bad boy." (Many immature women chase after the bad boys, which is bad for society). The way relationships work is by coming into them mutually ready to change and work on yourself, learning to communicate with one another, and being open to feedback and counsel about your relationship when necessary. You're never going to be with someone for "all the right reasons."
@@SwedeRacerDCI agree with this, and men also have issues choosing women who aren't compatible with them
@@sanecatladyyes and no, I think the problem is that from a guy's perspective, he really doesn't have that much option, it is harder for a guy to find a compatible woman when his options are really low(talking about your average joe here) so it is either the few he has or none, while as woman have plenty of options, but tends to choose the wrong ones while asking for compensation for those wrong choices, men don't get that privilege cause the gender social norms demand men to take responsibility and accountability without any control or much leadership under extreme circumstances(think of moving the goal posts around) so even if there are compatible woman for men, those woman don't want them, or those woman are already taken and the guy status isn't good enough(not rich, tall, attractive etc.)
Facts. It tends to be true in the reverse too. If a man is super desperate it looks bad to women too
RIGHT?!???!!!!
Totally, desperation is a total turn off for anyone stable and sane
I was thinking of the same thing too
Yet the ratio is predominantly female.
i dont even think its real.
I think what this woman is feeling is a widespread phenomenon. There is an epidemic of involuntarily single young people these days. There could be underlying issues in our society linked to why this is happening.
There is GLARINGLY obvious reasons that this is a societal issue.
Well just look around. Everyone is on their phone there is no room for spontaneous contact as people hardly take note of their surroundings. Last time I sat in a train (years ago) I was really appaled at how everyone sat and instantly took out their phone. The train, when I was younger, was a great place to run into people...
The only spontaneous interactions I have are with people older than me and I am way past my prime.
I met my now husband when I was just 18 in ‘04, just before social media completely replaced socialization. Been together 20 yrs. I consider myself one of the lucky few
It's economic reasons why people don't date, nothing to do with phones@@Niex_Knox
Cuz she made herself odious to men to satisfy her ego and her ugly jealous friends
She deserves to feel bad becaise she is bad
Spilling your guts on the internet is red flag #1.
2, 3, 4, 5, (skip) to 7...
Talking this pseudoesoterik nonsense about "matching energy" is nr2.
😂😂
Dropping your guts is always funny though 😂
Big red flag
The other problems with that desperation is that it attracts the wrong kinds of men and it blinds you to who those men really are.
🎯
This. I got played so many Times because i didnt see dem Red Flags from miiiiiiiiles.
Exactly and she has probably slept with every one and now can't pair bond and is flawed herself but expects perfection that doesn't exist. She gets a guy and first problem they have she moves on to the next instead of working through the problem
I'm doing my best to make my teenage daughter understand this.
That's where women spend their 20's. Now she's approaching 230 and is scared because men her age are getting married or are married to good women.
She looks young! At 35 I quit caring about being single and started focusing on the things I could better for myself in my life and enjoying the love of friends and family. 3 months later I met my now husband at an event and couldn’t be happier! Don’t force it! Figure YOU out first and the rest will follow. Also, quit comparing your situation to your friends.
This is me, as well. I bought a house at 32. I stopped “looking” and decided to embrace my singledom; friends, family, job. Met a wonderful man at 36 and got married at 40. Coming up on 10 years.
Do you mind sharing your family plan? Just curious bc I’m afraid of dating older women.
In the wise words of my grandpa: “the greatest poops aren’t forced”
@@ericsohn5084best tip about dating older women is just be yourself trust me it works
She wants to be the main character but have a Manㅡlike an accessoryㅡjust cuz her friends have one. "MEN are the main character. You get OUR last name, ladies."
Write down all the things you want in a spouse. Loyalty. Kindness. Humility. Generosity. The list could go on as long as you want. Then write at the top of the list - things to work on myself. Be the person you want to attract.
In my 20s, I was envious of my friends getting married and having kids. I had my life planned out as a teenager.
But then most of them got divorced and ended up single moms and I was very glad I avoided that fate.
YUP^ they rushed it to have that “perfect life” only to realize that they weren’t with the right person… that’s why I’m fine waiting.
@@DragonTamer17 nope women chose to leave it's simple math women will divorce if you don't become a slave to their bs period
@@ceestone1 take some accountability. It's not always the women's fault . In some cases you can't expect a women to treat you like a King while you treat her as a slave . Some women get fed up with men's bullshit also .
🤮🤮🤮
@@Mira-pm3ni do you know ANY women who allow themselves to be enslaved? Try asking ONE woman to cook a meal or clean a dish and see how fast and how often she can scream "NO," and yammer about the patriarchy.
Have you not been paying attention? Do you not talk to women? Are your women friends easily enslaved? Are you women friends' friends easily enslaved? I dont know a single one.
How does it feel to look around these posts, with your own eyes, see that you're simply outvoted?
She's not desperate... She's lonely and sad. Or have all of you missed the shiver of trying to hold back tears in her voice?
People are like "You should connect with your feelings. You should be open about them."
This girl did. She showed the loneliness in her heart.
And all of you are calling her desperate.
Self love is her remedy in that case. Not a boyfriend.
The internet and smartphones are a mistake.
I aspire to your level of empathy (on the real, zero sarcasm in my statement). That said, there's no reason it can't all be true; she's both sad and a bit desperate.
@@DK.448👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👍🏿
@@LadyMorgaine1976 This is the society today. If a woman is sad and lonely, they call her desperate and tell her she has to work on herself and live her "best" life!
Umm.. generic advice is often unhelpful and useless. She's not going to immediately find her soulmate just because she takes a vacation, signed up for dance class and made new friends!🙄
Calling a woman desperate and dissing her isn't going to solve the issue. Advice totally missed the mark!
She doesn't want love. She wants to keep up with her social circle.
She probably doesn't know what love is. But she's envious of her friends' relationships and their happiness.
Very good point. Maybe when she goes out with her friends and they are either with their significant others or talking about them...maybe she's just tired of being the only single one.
Bingo!
misery loves company and she's getting lonely as their friends move on with their couples/SO/husbands
You nailed it 😂
I feel awful for her and can relate. She's clearly feeling genuinely upset and lonely, and i completely empathize and hope she's ok and finds the happiness and love that she wants
Humility is more important than confidence
pure projection, woman are the ones that love confidence, man love humility, sadly most people cant understand the differences and just project what they want and lose their appeal
@@SantosOverlordand yet you are here projecting stereotypical gendered ideas
@@ceterisparibus8966 it is based on reality, sure there are exception, but the base is solid
@@SantosOverlord Prove it please
@@ceterisparibus8966 woman love confident man and man like woman with humilty and you need me to prove that?, maybe go outside and talk to people, what next, you want me to prove that you need air to survive?
Exactly!!! My husband and I got married in January - and I was 62 yo! I'd been single since birth (my husband was divorced). Please be peaceful with who you are. Be happy being alone. Enjoy your life, your friends/family. Go on trips, improve your self-esteem, and what you "bring to the table." If you're OK with being alone, that's when the right guy will come for you! You'll be ready, and so will he. Be the best you can be, and he'll come along. Trust us.
Wow, so you were always alone until you met him? I'm 42, never had a boyfriend, and thought I never would. Thanks for giving me hope that it can still happen one day ❤
@js77z Well, yes, I dated, but never anybody I thought would make a good husband (sadly). I had to "kiss a lot of frogs," as the saying goes. I would get involved with men who would not reciprocate my feelings. Or they'd tell me they weren't sexually attracted to me, but thought I was pretty, in general. It was very messed up on my part because of self-esteem issues. So I worked on myself, got some therapy, and listened to one of my best friends (who is a gay man). He would tell me that I was a "complete package" - 9 why didn't I believe that? I joined an online dating service for people over 50 and met my husband on it. We've been together 9.5 years now. My point is that you have to get yourself ready to be a good wife, a good partner. Yes, I waited a long time until we got married, but it didn't matter because children were no longer an option. If you are 25, want to get married and have kids, do not hang around men who are not worthy of you. You ARE worth it. Believe in yourself and what you can give to a spouse, and the right man will come along. Good luck!
@@ClarisseRockinThatBow ahh, ok. Well, I'm a bit different. I've not really even dated all that much. Men just don't seem overly interested in me for anything other than sex. So maybe there isn't much hope afterall, lol
@js77z You are more than the sum total of your body parts, or what you can give a man sexually. Be very picky about who you hook up with. I'm not telling you to be celibate, but a good man must deserve you. What makes you YOU? Are you fun to be with (aside from sex)? Do you have hobbies (sports, gardening, art, cooking)? Are you kind, thoughtful, and considerate to others? If all a man can see in you is a bed partner, he isn't deserving of you. There is hope, but you must hold yourself in high regard FIRST. If the men you meet don't get that, they aren't worth your time. You will find someone, but you must learn to say, "I'm a good woman and have a lot to offer a man." Again, I wish you luck.
@@js77zI'm 32 and I've not even kissed a guy. During high school there was a boy who confessed to me with a ring and everything. I already knew he liked me because he was puting letters in my table for over a year. I didn't get who it was at first, but I found out through his writing. I really really tried to fall for him since he was a good boy, but I couldn't. So I had to be honest and say no. I was 14 and not ready yet.
After that I experienced sexual abuse a couple of times (I had already went through that at the age of 4 to 6 yo and one more when I was around 10 yo). So you can see that I don't trust men at all!
Still, I wish to find a partner with whom I can share my life with. It's really hard during these times. But I still have some hope. So let us pray to the Lord and Saint Mary to bless us, our lives and our hearts. ❤🙌
Anyone whining on social media and putting out their entire private lives for everyone to see is kind of a MAJOR red flag...
She looks so like the actress/activist who plays Snow White who everyone seems to find annoying ["weird weird!"]... might that be the reason she is single?🤔
@@ME-gz8yi She is pretty, so we can assume its her personality? Maybe no self-awareness and very high standards. That seems to be very common.
@@JamesBond-wh3cu pretty,not to me, she wants the perfect man, bit he lived died ans was raised over 2,000yrs ago...SHE WANTS
And she will proceed to trash her man to her friends and on line!
This wasn't hwr entire life
Shes got to learn to get comfortable and patient while waiting. That desperation will attract the wrong type of partner and the wrong type of partner will come with years of regret making you wish you hadn’t been so desperate.
Don't be needy, desperate, or toxic.
Those are major red flags.
Too late
Ironically, there are many men who love these clingy types. Makes them feel needed. Not all men like independent women..
@saharagold
Those men are also toxic, so sensible women also need to avoid that type. Red flags.
Those qualities will show up after the honeymoon.
@@rogerengland2821 There is no sensible women anymore they are all entitled and think they are better than everyone. Thats there problem.
Like what Bob Ross said, it is not called rising in love but falling in love because it is unexpected
I am 28, and being single is one of the easiest choices ever.
I don't like it at almost 31 though.
Notice how its a choice for you though
@@westonding8953Just imagine how much more you wouldn't like having a relationship and then at least triple the amount of pain you would have to go through.
@@ItsHamFam true, men can be single by choice, wahmen can't be. They are because they are insufferable.
@@Apachemiwokmexican777I don’t know. You’re going to suffer regardless.
So true. It’s so corny when people say “it happens when you’re not looking for it” or something along those lines, but what they *always* fail to juxtapose that sentiment with is:
It will *only* ever happen once you prioritize yourself, and prioritize the way you carry yourself through a world that frankly couldn’t care less what you want or think you deserve.
Yeah and she would reject 99% of men that would approach her.
Yup. She's not feeling bad for not having anyone. She's feeling bad because she's not in control, because she she can't choose.
Yes, because you know her and her past and absolutely saw her doing this 👌
@@user-qb4eb8vq5u maybe she would give every man who asks a chance. I would say this is unlikely, since she is prettier than most women, but something must be driving men away or keeping the already distant men at arm's length, right?
@@tribalismblindsthembutnoty124 it’s the desperation that brings scumbags around and good guys run… literally that’s what it is.
Exactly! Looking for Chad. Smh
Comparison is the thief of joy.
In this lady's case, she is comparing the life that she has chased to the life that she wants. It doesn't sound like she has really thought about what adjustments she will need to make to create room for the piece she is missing. I hope she figures it out.
She wants a husband cause she lonely and jealous of her friends.
It sounds like, she, probably, had a few girlfriends, who played this girl power game, despising and turning down all the good guys, just for the fun of it. THEN, all of a sudden, those other girls got married - and she feels like she'd been fooled and betrayed by them, bc she took that "no-men-welcome" game seriously and therefore she doesn't even know how to be kind to a man. Yet, being genuinely kind is all that it takes, for a girl of her looks.
@@williammkyddeHer looks are mediocre.
That should not be a reason to get with someone. Just because all my friends have DUIs doesn't mean i go and get one just so i can feel like i fit in.
@@williammkydde what of women who aren’t good looking, do they just try harder?
It seems to me that women who aren’t up to par have little to no chance in improving their situation, unlike men who can rely on building status.
@@jomana1109 Not easy. The general hope is that the women who are not spoiled since childhood by excessive male attention for their looks develop character features that compensate big time for the lack of physical attractiveness. Believe me or not, I have encountered women who, by my "standard" of beauty would rate btwn 0/10 to 2/10, and yet they were married and had children, and appeared contented and confident. Only recently did I see a large wedding party in a park, where the bride had the shape of a cube with rounded corners - a very disadvantageous look, and not excessively young either, closer to 28-30. The groom was a man of ordinary. Yet, he found something about her that justified this serious move.
Unless she locks herself up within her own 4 walls and complexes, or unless she is a very egotistic and nasty personality, she will always find a reasonable men who will need her. Men get used to looks/beauty of their partner, but once the looks are out of the equation, all that matters is human qualities: loyalty, life skills, ability to work hard, patience sense of humour, kindness, attention. Man does need her education, or salary. If he does (esp. the salary), he's a grifter. :)
If she meets a man (not a tom cruise, no) in some social situation, and shows some interest in him, and knows how to listen, AND remembers all she hears from him and at the next opportunity follows up to ask him about his situation, he will gratefully note her attention and respect, and before long it can become a friendship - and what is a marriage if not a friendship enriched by s*x and reproduction? Most men, like 80%, are not spoiled by female attention, and any of that will surprise them. Men are not too complex, but most post-modern women misunderstand men's simplicity.
On the contrary, girls who are used to male attention since young take it for granted, and that's a trap. They even tend to despise men for liking them. For lack of real human qualities, at 30-35 they realize that their heyday is over. This girl here may be of this class.
We are just underestimating how big of a role "luck" plays in life.
She's more upset about her friends having someone.😑
Right she should just borrow one of her friend's boyfriends.
I mean, I get it. It’s not that she’s mad they found someone. But when everyone else around you is finding love and you are struggling to do the same, it stings a bit more.
@@OctagonalSquare she should be happy for her friends. Spouting out your problems on the internet usually pushes away the right people. Sure, it can be tiresome sometimes, but focus on yourself and improve. The right people will see it.
I mean it makes sense she probably feels left out it's harsh seeing everyone you know find love while you just sit there wondering if something's wrong with u or smth
@@brandonwhitehead2856 yep💯💯💯
OK. But what if we're not chasing anyone, but still have moments of depression in which we feel utterly lonely?
That’s me. Most days I’m fairly stable mentally and am fine being single. But feeling depressed and/or anxious about will I ever find a partner will cycle around and my inner critic creeps up and tells me all of my flaws, etc. Other things can trigger it as well.
In the end, like almost everything, there are pros and cons to both being in a relationship and being single.
I don’t know what’s worse being desperately lonely or being with someone who makes you feel alone. Of course they say it’s better to be alone than in bad company.
It doesn’t end with marriage. Its part of the human condition. A bad marriage or relationship can leave you feeling even lonelier often. Even a good marriage can leave you feeling like this. I consider myself to be in a good marriage, but there are sometimes things my husband just does not get (we also come from different cultures and countries so that probably also influences things), and when disagreements happen, or he doesn’t understand certain things that I am concerned about, that feels way lonelier than when I was single.
Figure it out yourself lol
I do not know what you all are all about. Does anybody have her number please?😂😂
She is such a cutee with a heart of gold.
When I was young and single, I found if you're looking for someone you'll never find one. As soon as you stop looking, there she is!
Who thought you that crap? That ain't true my man.
It doesn't repels men but it lures the wrong men.
I don't believe people who record themselves like that, especially the ones crying 😂
It's more about attention seeking.
Women love posting their Ls
“OMG, I’m literally shaking right now”
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
😅😅😅
Attention seeking ho
29 is young and as someone who met her husband at 39, and that felt young to me, I don't get the urgency. Love your life, become a whole person who doesn't need a relationship but deserves a good one, and they find you.
That!!! It definitely shows.
I’m 25 and I never had a boyfriend. People don’t believe me when I say guys don’t ask me out. My friends think I’m lying when I say that. And one day I was talking one of my friends’ friend, who is a guy, he said “you look like you have a boyfriend, because you don’t look like you’re looking for someone”😅.
How do I look like I am looking for someone tho 😭😂
Did he tell you how to look available? 'Cause I'm 26 in the same situation
@@nahos1100 there’s a certain amount of desperation that comes with it, that’s what makes it unattractive.
Great example is Penelope from the bridgerton show.
@@shakesinthehouse well at least I know I dont LOOK desperate LOL
@@wa4920 nah, he just said that I look too confident and that I look like I have a bf, whatever that means! Maybe I don’t get hints when guys are flirting 😂
The majority of people go through this stage (ideally in their teens and early twenties). Eventually, you figure out the desperation, the trying too hard, the non-stop frustration, ultimately works against you.
As soon as I figured out that my unchecked yearning for a relationship was the one thing keeping me out of a relationship, my entire list of dating prospects changed overnight. It was instantaneous. It was a tiny shift, not in my personality, but rather in my perception of how relationships work. I learned to put my self-respect first, my well-being first, and everything else naturally lined up without any interference on my part.
Its always a huge red flag when women say "match my energy"
It just means "be how i want them to be" instead of enjoying who they are and what they offer.
It also sometimes means : I love to fight and I think I'm being cute when I call that "being passionate"
Some people just love the idea of love. But having in front of you an actual person and getting feelings for them is another story.
No lie detetected
Match my energy = I will not change myself, you need to change for me
@@capricornsun85 unfortunately with the popularity of social media what "love" means has been made superficial. People want the happiness of the relationships they see online but the moment things go south (loss of financial stability, a disagreement over something, one person does something the other was not okay with at the time) they just stop the relationship instead of talking things out and figuring out how to get through it together. Now a days people think love is the Disney princess always smiling and joy and fun...because of social media but what they don't see behind the camera is the mess of the couple when they wake up like stinky breath and messy hair, they don't see the arguments and the times they're looking at eachother like they just commited a crime, they don't see the frustration of not knowing for the moment of where their next meal is coming from because bills are due and a medical emergency happened, the arguing and crying that goes on. So they see these happy moment all over social media and the moment a bad moment happens they think their relationship isn't working right...when it is so long as you work things out. In a relationships there are more happy moments than ugly moments but the ugly moments are what cements the happy moments in our lives. And that's not what's seen on social media. The trials and tribulations that occur to form a long term strong relationship with someone.
Desperation is never a good look.
It maybe for some…
Most of you guys are desperate.
I found my person only after I finally realized I was content being single and no longer wanted to chase having a partner. Neither of us was pursuing being in a relationship-- we just met and clicked, and the rest is history.
How old were you?
Nice! Yearning and Desperation does not help - because it never helps. Contentment, realizing that I am complete, My life is complete, I am enough is the only way to get a perfect life partner you desire.
Same here, been married 21yrs now. We spent our singleness becoming the best version of ourselves, just to be quality individuals.
@irinasp3723 I was 27 when I met my husband, we married when I was 29. Been married 21yrs.
@@irinasp3723 Happened this way for me too. I was 37, single all my life up to that point. I wanted to be married with kids in my 20s, but you know. That's life. So I finally just settled into my single life, and that's when I met the man who is now my husband.
I agree wholeheartedly! My husband and I were both content and happy with ourselves and then happened upon each other in a class. Because we were both happy with ourselves and not constantly desperate for a person to complete us, we found amazing companionship and love with each other. Our baby boy is due right around our fifth anniversary (only a couple weeks now!)
I watched the entire clip. She is absolutely self absorbed, focused on what SHE desires and that SHE wants to do what SHE wants, etc. It's never about building a life WITH someone, it's about someone helping HER build what SHE wants. If you can notice it, someone else's wants and needs are never in the equation.
We, grown men, have learned to run from that, which only leaves immature men and men just desperate to have someone 🤷
Translation: The 6’5 chad she created in her head is nowhere to be found.
Fr they all want something that no other female has so they can show off n get attention and be the top “ dog” who has bragging rights and shoving it in everyone’s faces
I bet he's in finance... with blue eyes
😂
Bruh 🤣
No he is, he's just with her friend
Red Flags. "Matching my energy". "Love in my life". everytime i hear the catch phrases of the desperate I run for the hills.
Such people want "love in their life" but somehow it never dawns on them that they also have to GIVE love.
"Matches your energy"? I stay away from everyone who wants you to match their energy. They have prejudged that person and they've chosen their exit point.
She gives off that "annoying to be with vibe". That's probably why.
That’s true. Too much maintenance, talks to her phone too much, shares every thought in her head.
You know she’s going to make ur life a hell when she’s had kids with you kinda vibe….
Also someone who says "I just want to have any man/woman" really gives me the ick. Because no, they don't. We all have preferences, values and goals. And this statement implies "well you're kinda the last resort, but I don't mind at this point". Like, would you not question someone's intentions when they constantly say they "don't care" about *insert any quality*?
@kaoryakasaka6835 If they said "I don't care about ______" and inserted "herpes" I would be concerned.
@@mikeawesome9212 😂😂😂😂😂 herpes ain't no quality in that sense
Saying “match my energy” is a good way to repel normal men
An other word for to high standards?
Exactly…. Saying ‘match my energy’ simply means I’m a 10 and expect no less of a 10 of a man….
Good luck with that
She doesn’t want average man.. she’s not even that good looking herself. Im tired of these broads..
@@mattias8546 NO, another word for I'm getting old and need a retirement plan.
You guys have no comprehension and no compassion which to me is enough of a reason to avoid a man. She means she wants someone who matches her spirit, her vibe her energy her personality . Everyone wants someone who matches their energy. Its like people speak and some idiots dont hear them they hear some past comment from a different context that used the same words . They hear whatever they want just ANYTHING besides what the person said. Being dense is another red flag i dont want to procreate with an idiot but luckily not one of us has to match with everyone.
Start focusing on yourself when you are happy someone will find you!
Exactly!
💯
Focusing on herself is the problem! There is nothing so off putting than a person obsessed with themselves and their needs. Focus on helping others. Volunteer. You will have no time for being miserable when helping others. We in the affluent West have too much spare time for navel gazing.
She IS focusing on herself. That's the problem - she needs to focus on what men want from a relationship. I bet that hasn't even entered her head...it's all "I want, I want".
@@Jack-hy1zqshe should focus on building her qualities, so she can be a wonderful partner for a man that enters her life. Women should not lose themselves trying to cater to a man.
I’ve been there and it sucks. My heart goes out to her.
The "match my energy " thing is a red flag
Seriously, stay away.
Why is it bad?
Why?
"Matching energy” is actually immature, childish, and inauthentic. When you are being irrational with someone or angry or stupid, me as a partner the last thing I would do is "matching your energy". I WILL NOT get irrational, angry and stupid to that person because of you.
@hamdanmuhamad6571 That's usually not what people mean though. In my experience, they usually mean they want people who have the same values, hobbies, work ethic, etc.
I don't think she's saying she wants him to match her every emotion...
Any women who slaps her hands together while talking is a big red flag !!!
Yeah don't do that its distracting. Especially if they're the kind where each whack produces a loud meaty clap sound. Just stop!
It's legitimately a sign of low intelligence. As is repeating the same thing over & over. Or relying on talking points to carry a discussion. Jordan Peterson does a good job of breaking down the low IQ behaviors of these types. They tend to gravitate towards activism.
The thing is she makes it very clear in her video that she doesnt want to emotionally labor and recieve emotional labor in return. she just wants a man like she wants an accessory or a purse. she doesnt understand why people are together so shes chasing having a partner for all the wrong reasons.
This is the top comment. She's not looking for the man she can be good to, or appreciate, or grow with. Shes just looking for the plus one name to put down on her friends wedding invitations
How can you decide what she wants? For me it looks like it's a tik tok video so it's pretty freaking short, and she just wanted to share her pain with somebody. She obviously got emotional so she was just saying what came to her mind, and when talking in emotion frequently we can slip trying to communicate things right.
This is called projection. You assumed this based on YOUR life experiences not on what she said.
For a prize she "currently" isn't worth recieving.
She never said that or implied it. Don't misrepresent her.
She most likely met the man she was suppose to marry and passed on him for someone who wont wife her up.
ye, you know better.
She passed up many good men. They act like they've never been w a man. They have 100 body count
@@user-tl7ic1gu5wHow do you know the reason men won't marry her isn't because she has standards and won't sleep with them first? That's my story. Men don't want women who won't sleep with them outside of marriage. And they won't marry the ones who do. It's a catch-22 situation these days.
Whining, desperation and insecurity are big turn offs. Whining on-line is pretty unattractive as well.
In my mind, if a woman spills her guts like this, especially towards other guys, I wouldn't trust her.
If I mess up once, that kind of woman will cry on the shoulder of some other guy.
A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on.
Sometimes We Gotta Adjust who WE are.
I seriously doubt that girl has any trouble finding a good man that's interested. It's her standards that are most likely the problem.
Hence, the modern woman dilemma.
"must be 6'3", have blue eyes and makes at least $400k."
Well, a lot of the time the standard (both for men and women) is "have feelings for that person and match well" - and that can't be forced. Some people are lucky to meet someone who matches them early on, others aren't. And if you don't want a shallow relationship, that means staying single even if it hurts. So sure, pretty much anyone can find someone. But finding someone compatible is a lot harder.
@tritium77 Blue eyes is a requirement for them now? What are they, nazis? Lol
@@tritium77 "Blue eyes"? They're n@zis now? Lol
This reminds me of the "Trying Paradox" (or whatever you might call it) where the more you try, the more you actually undermine your own efforts and not trying (or at least not trying so hard) will actually boost your chances of success while making it effortless or much easier.
She is single, and will stay single, because she hasn’t considered for one single solitary moment why anyone would want her. She has only considered her own perspective.
I met the love of my life when I was 29 and I’m now married with two beautiful children. Have faith, honey he’s coming.
“If you’re rejected by ALL of them, maybe you’re the problem.”
I'm a god damned hot mess and my man and I are celebrating our 12 year anniversary this October. It hasn't always been easy but we're determined to grow old, smelly, and wrinkley together. That's our goal and we couldn't be more excited to be on that journey together. We may not always like eachother, we we love eachother and value eachother, faults and all.
That's so great to hear 😊
I would suggest not constantly posting your life; this type of behavior is pathetic (harsh but true).
Something else that's harsh is that you might never have it. Welcome to the 21st century.
No one wants to be a 30-second clip on "Why my boyfriend/husband sucks" or such. No desire to star in that video.
@@JohnFlynn-kf4zx different point, but I understand how that could be harsh. Still shouldn't post about it though.
Edit: should to shouldn't @jamesredman1263. Thanks for point it out.
@@-Nos-
"Should"?
Yeah
when a girl says 'matches my energy'' is a massive ass red flag for any guy and we can sense that crazy ass nonsense.
@@justineczarnobyl9987 Why? Because women overvalue themselves. "match my energy" means she thinks she's a 10
@@justineczarnobyl9987 She could say for once "i should match his enerfgy" but AS ALWAYS its all about her. People want a partner, not a princess.
@@TheBossCrissCross don't be an idiot, you don't change yourself to be liked by someone, you look for someone who is a match for who you are, basic compatibility is important
@@justineczarnobyl9987 - No... There are good men in her life, this toad just friend zoned them because she wants the rich 6' 5" chad in the top 0.5% of men... And those guys will not commit. THey do not have to commit nor will they. They have OPTIONS. With a high body count from hot girl summers and college, this is desperation to settle down and the guys she wants (if they are serious) want 20's girls for nesting and not the 30's chic who is a few years from the expiration date on the carton of milk(40 yrs). This is a toad that wasted her time to lock down a good mate and the poor choices have come back to bite her in the butt... Along with the mental meltdown of a karen in one cataclysmic event. All forkery.
@@justineczarnobyl9987 those words mean nothing in reality. What they mean in reality is she will expect you to fill all the random urges she has without any input.
The right man is prolly in her friend zone.
Yeah but its also possible shes been doing that for 29 years and now is frustrated because that hasnt worked out.
Watch the entire clip and you see the truth: that 29 year old woman is 290 pounds of toxic stretching out a 20 pound bag. She refuses to accept she has to "work on herself", and says so in the video.
The most toxic people never believe they are toxic...
Wait, how is she 290 lbs? Her face is super skinny?
You speak like toxic people don't ever get in relationships. Many of them are married
@jonny-b4954 she isn't 290 lbs, he didn't mean that literally, it was more metaphorically in relation to her age being 29 and a lot to handle.
@@GeorgiaViking AH. I read that too fast, I guess.
@@irinasp3723 , indeed. However, the reality is when you see it coming, or you find out later, you can still salvage yourself and the rest of your family.
“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been left behind.” I literally can’t believe she said that out loud
She's fallen into the trap of comparing herself against her friends.
I know right are there any good women left. Some girl thinks your looking for a maid not a wife 😂. Boy she hated the 50s but a widowed man in his 70s said these young women at church are crazy in 2011 2012. Then he said young women around 41. Well I guess the 20s yr old girl used her mom as a maid 🙄 😕 😐 🙃 😒 😅 🙄
@@Murph_gaminghalf her friends could be broken up or divorced by their 40's. She needs to chill out. Better off single than the wrong one.
@kitkat0768 she might be wanting a family, and the older she gets, the harder it will be for her to have kids.
@@Murph_gaming that what most women did in their life
“Desperation is a stinky cologne” as they say in Super Troopers.
venting online is the most lowest shit you can do. Don't let people you don't know your weaknesses.
Im about to be 38 and single. I thought it was going to go differently but here we are. I'm not looking for it at this point. There's nothing wrong with being alone
Learn to enjoy your own company 😊
@@grownwoman3000 exactly! I enjoy my quiet mornings, cleaning to my standards, having independence to do anything I want which is staying up late either crafting or reading a book. I find my quiet life rewarding and freeing 🥰
@@christinelegrangewhat are you talking about, at 40 you are almost dead
@@Florian-yn3ur well make sure to live your few remaining years then
@@Florian-yn3ur where do You live? Ruanda?
"Match my Energy" means high maintenance. It means "I need everything to be about me, and like to put men through tests to make sure I'm in charge." She's not sad, she's frustrated.
It seems she said almost exactly that in her original post that it was "about me."
Honestly, I could date a desperate girl so long as I find her attractive. The part of this video that turns me off isn't the desperation, it's the "match my energy" part. Girls in general are too wishy-washy, energies, vibes, star signs, all that crap. No one will match you exactly, you can still live separate lives together. I've met too many women that believe compatibility needs to be exact, and that just isn't going to happen ever.
My girlfriend kept telling me that I match her energy, in terms of life, s€xual energy, vibes/friendship... Yet she consistently went out of her way to change damn near everything about me. Whenever we were fighting she wouldn't hesitate to say "I'm just like other men" or "There are better men out there so stop treating me this way" or would suggest ending the relationship.
Oh btw, many of our fights came from me wanting us to live separate lives. As in, we're not conjoined twins, live ur life with the gals, I'll live mine with the guys we can meet up later and talk all about how it went.
@jjthe13th 💯 my friend! I simped hard for my ex-wife and wasn't allowed to do anything I enjoyed. Ultimately, it ended with her cheating on me and leaving me anyway. So go hang with your friends, do things you enjoy. You can invite her, but if she says no, don't let her bully you out of it. 9 years of my life wasted!
@@codystoddard3565 ugh. Women ☕
I agree with this. Girls have a problem with this. But to me, it can be fixed. We can fix most anything if we are willing too.
@@jjthe13thyes, as a woman, I don’t want to be a conjoined twin with a significant other! You should both have your own unique interests and hobbies, your own lives, and then time together to catch up with what’s going on in each other’s life. Way more interesting that way. It’s cool if you happen to share a hobby, but I still don’t want someone on top of me 24/7.
my grandma used to say when you stop looking for love it finds you. I broke up with a bf after a painful relationship hated guys dating etc just wanted to focus on me and I literally collided with my husband coming out of a building one day and we've been married 32 years now
All this "energy" thing is just pure BS.
If you are left behind, there's a reason for that.
Narcissism: the true pandemic...
love this
This isn’t narcissism. People just throw that word around, a complex personality disorder 😅 I think a better word is self centred which doesn’t equate to narcissism
@@user-du6re3rm9z and you are wrong
@@user-du6re3rm9zNope, you're completely incorrect....
@@ryanburks2480 oh really, you obviously don't understand narcissism and what it looks like. I promise you there is a problem with narcissism in this world especially the west.
I'm 33(F)and single. I won't deny that I also started worrying when I was 30 but now its about living my life that I have and learning to love what I have.
yup..sometimes we can lose sight of what is more important in life by pursuing a relationship that in the end would prove loveless.. I'm 35 and I'm quite content on being single and not actively chasing a partner.
The problem is in the 20’s, most modern women take that a slutty phase, and by doing that they ruined the ability to pair bond and the ability for a healthy relationship.
If a woman has had 4 partners or more, than she’s already tainted
that‘s not desperation, she is looking for love. the kind of love that everyone is so eager to show on social media. This girl is sharing her feelings openly about her situation and all you have to say is that she is desperate like come on?! There is a huge difference between lonely and alone, she just doesn‘t wanna be alone anymore
She feels left out. If all friends were single she wouldn't be saying what she's saying
That why she's red flag and single her mindset are like that, if she's positive person and kind she's Should be happy that her friend find the love of their life lmfao not winning on internet
The second she said "matches my energy" that pretty much told me why
The thing is, it's really hard to keep up confidence if you keep getting rejected. So women who aren't among those chosen earlier have a harder time. And then those who find husbands earlier haven't had to go through as much of the waiting and hoping, and I wonder if they would have been as confident if they'd been waiting as long. It's really easy to judge those who aren't married.
For example, it's often said, "Oh, just work on yourself first, and then you'll find someone," by precisely those who never had to work on themselves before they found someone.
Exactly, I don't understand why people are attacking her
Thank you! That’s exactly what I wrote above. When you constantly get rejected of course you’ll seem desperate. I agree and try not be desperate but it it’s so hard when you literally have gone most of your life being rejected and unloved since a child. The constant rejection makes you feel unlovable and even more desperate for someone to prove that wrong. At this point I have to tell myself I’m just unlovable and will never find anyone and totally give up to not seem desperate so if anyone does come along I won’t even be interested or believe they’re into me. 😢
@@punkofmudd seems like telling a hungry person - don't be so desperately hungry, you must be too picky
@@irinasp3723 Exactly. And there's a whole lot of sympathy for people who struggle after having lost a spouse or partner to divorce or death, but there's next to none for those of us who struggle with the very real loss of never having had someone in the first place.
And that's why I don't listen to most people or take them seriously. Most of the time, as they say work on yourself, they happen to have many terrible traits and even thier relationships are riddled with problems that shouldn't be problems because they have rejected any kind of empathy and reason when it has to apply to their own accountability to things.
In reality, in life, some people are more lucky than others and that is more evident in the areas of life that is fully dependent on being judged and accepted based on the winds of biases of others. At least with work, there are actual metrics to mitigate bias. In love and marriage, it's preference and bias to the fullest degree with lots of luck.
I'm single and I hate it. But whining about it and complaining about it won't help. Other people will be put off by it.
"All of my friends are in relationships and Ive been left behind."
That tells me everything I need to know. She doesnt want the relationship. She wants an accessory to show off.
Fax
That type of energy not only repeals men but attracts the wrong men to your life.
Men are doing what women asked them to, “leave women alone, don’t approach them, don’t talk to them, don’t compliment them etc.”. You want a boyfriend, go ask a dude you like out. Simple.
Exactly
@@user-ws6cp3np7t Women don't want creeps to do that, don't get things mixed up.
@@antoniakoseva6399Definition of creep to women: I didn't find him attractive enough.
@@improvised1410I don't imagine that's what a creep is. I have someone in mind for the creep definition; every time we interacted he would very boldly and intensely stare at my ass or chest and bite his lip. *Cringe* I define *that* behavior as creepish behavior. Why can't they just treat me like a human being rather than a vessel to get their wang wet in?
The dudes they want will string them along and keep her putting out until something better comes along.
I'm 33 and used to feel this way. My friends just doing the ritual of finding a guy, getting married, having kids, etc etc.
But in my case, I never actively pursued anyone and shunned anyone who tried to pursue me.
Everybody expresses emotions differently. And her putting this information out there, boldly, has opened a dialogue. I believe she has done a good thing here. Perhaps, she was genuinely trying to understand her situation.
I'm hoping she finds the one. Sometimes, that person comes when you least expect it. If I were her, I would explore more places where I like to hang out, talk to people I would like to date, and not force anything on anyone or show desperation, but just show an itty-bitty interest.
I think she needs to take it slow. Everyone is different. Sometimes in your worst moments, when you are desperately trying to find a solution to a problem, just helping someone with their problem creates that spark and that solution that a person is looking for. 😘
I have a friend who is always searching for her next boyfriend and cant be alone. When her and one boyfriend break up shes on dating apps the next day looking for a new man. Weve tried to tell her to learn to be okay alone but she cant. She's exhausting to be around and her relationships never last. She needs this advice
She never got if the dating apps
That's probably why she can't keep a man. Men can sense that she is probably messaging other guys while she is still seeing the one guy. If you can get over your boyfriend so quickly, then you never really loved him or were invested in him.
The biggest thing is to looknat your hobbies. Partners don't spring out of the aether, you meet them at places you already like to go to. Start a social hobby like dance, or go to the gym, or go to gaming events, or start frequenting antique shops, etc. Go to the places the person you want to meet might go to.
That advice is for guys. Women have no shortage of men to meet. She's just looking for the wrong things
@@PermanentHighThat is not at all true!
@PermanentHigh yeah try living in a small town working a job that doesn't allow you to meet guys at work and the rest of the time you are taking care of your child taking them to therapies and things because they are disabled and the only men you meet at therapy already have families of their own. Not all women just have a plethora of men hovering around waiting to meet them
When you are chasing something, anything it tends to run from you. This can apply to any space in life.
Not success though
Venting online about it, could be a reason why she is single.
I used to be desperate for love too. Then, one day, i was at peace with the thought of never finding love, and decided to just work on myself and do what i loved. Now i am married, pregnant with my third baby, and only 27 years old
I've been where this woman is rn. I thought I was a lost cause and wouldn't find anyone. 3 of my younger siblings were getting married and I still hadn't found anyone. But I actually ended up meeting my now husband at 29, at my younger sister's wedding no less. 😅
It's not cry for love it's cry for social status and justification.
Fax
I appreciate her honesty, and I am sure a lot of other girls connected with that feeling. I think the best advice I have gotten was to let go of what you can’t change. You can’t control when and who you will fall in love with, so let go and concern yourself with matters that you can change. The right person will come, but you have to be open and ready to receive them. Hope this helps anyone who feels left behind.
Guys don't want to match your energy. They want you to match their energy.
Everyone wants someone that “matches their energy”. What it means is that you want someone who you are compatible with, essentially. I definitely think women (and men, too) should look for someone that they get along well with. It’s kind of mean and stupid to settle for someone who doesn’t.
Not only does it repel men who’d be partners
It invites men who just want them guts. It’s like a cheat code, all those men have to do is lie about their intentions toward a relationship and they get to have you for a few months etc until you figure out it isn’t going anywhere.
Common play, and the next dude takes the heat for it...
Feminist use these moments, and boom we're in 2024.
It also repels women if a man does that. Because desperation is a polar opposite of self-improvement and self-awareness. And often involves impulsive decisions, dishonesty and disappointment.
The desperation also blind them to red flags and toxic behaviors they need to keep an eye out for.
@@deadnorth8648I used to be that "let me get the guts" dude
Reverse the genders and your point is still valid. Thanks for the post.
I’m betting her standard is 6’2” and making at least $250,000 with a nice home and a vacation condo somewhere warm. Good luck.
It’s definitely more than that, even if she got that, she’d leave him for a loser
Learning to move past things such as "want" in life is transcendent.
Hard to do but a value skill for life.
"Matches my energy"=Sitting in my car crying on social media about how desperate I am while probably having rejected a lot of good men because her standards is insane or she is!
It's worse, it attracts who will take advantage of her emotionally state and leave her even worse
She knows why she is single, her friends, family and therapist have told her why she is single. She just doesn't want to listen them because they aren't telling her what she wants to hear.
You do realise that many toxic people are actually in relationships?
@@irinasp3723oh shut up. Even other women will try to affirm the bad choices of other completely random women. Other women keep women single..Queen 😂
@@irinasp3723Yeah, no one is addressing this. If it were really true that people only date really good, well-adjusted people, well, we'd all be working to reach that standard before expecting relationships, wouldn't we? But when we see DOZENS of couples around us where one person is so messed up or downright selfish but their partner just ADORES them anyway, it's hard not to think 'why is being a normal, decent person not enough? Why do I have to make myself bloody perfect before I can expect to find a life partner, when these people who HAVE partners already clearly didn't have to work on themselves at all?' 🤷♀️
@@cmm5542 I'll go furhter - I'm pretty sure some of her engaged or married friends are toxic like this and she can't understand why she's still single
Imagine coming home to this after working all day, or waking up to this.............
Fax
She's rejected 100 wojaks and she wants Chad but Chad is already married to a girl who isn't demanding and doesn't go online seeking attention
Fax
"Matches my energy" 😂😂 that comment is a red flag right there
Why? Sounds like you agree with it. You would want someone who doesn’t use that language, hence ironically matching your energy.
People with totally opposing lifestyles don’t tend to make a good marriage.
@@KaiLucasZachary because "energies" is a weird niche term that only new age people use. A lot of people would just use the word "values"
This also happens to men more. They are so desesperate for a girlfriend that they repel women
@@Noname-lw6hpwhat are you smoking, of course it repels men
When I was 29 I didn't understand why I was single. Now I'm in my 40s and I figured it out. Unfortunately, it's too late for me. Hopefully she figures it out.