Let me know whether you are too trusting or distrusting in the comments, and why you think that might be the case. Download the guide for your trust blueprint: www.terricole.com/trust-issues-ruining-relationships-guide
I used to be too trusting..... Then literally everyone in my life gave me reasons to not trust anyone! And now that there is someone I think I may be able to trust.... I am quick to believe that they are either stealing from me or doing something wrong.... Ugh so then I find it easier to be alone....
I see you ❤️ Sometimes it helps if we begin small- see if this person will be true to their word in a very small, low-stakes situation and then go from there. (Of course, don't do that if you have proof they are stealing from you!)
As a woman who dares men, once trust is violated it’s time to move on. I’ve ended multiple relationships over men who lied and couldn’t keep their eyes off pictures of women. Even after multiple conversations. I have learned that people don’t change. All it did was make me a worse person for the right man.
There was absolutely no trust in my family from a very young age, too much to put into one comment. Then I was cheated on and abused in my own relationships until now. And my trust issues got in the way of my newest relationship, and I’m afraid I’ve ruined it forever.
My husband is naive and unknowingly gives me reasons not to trust him even though he doesn’t mean any harm to me by doing these things. I’ve pointed them out. I’ve been cheated on by every man I’ve been with except him although he doesn’t seem to totally understand that when he talks and jokes and laughs with other women that it hurts me so deep and I know that’s wrong. My trust blueprint is my father was not trustworthy and he abandoned me at a very young age.
I learned that people were not trustworthy. My parents never and I mean that, NEVER, did keep their word. They have lied to me and my family multiple times to manipulate us. We found out later. My mom is a narcissisty. Dad has gone from some of the time reining her in tp giving up and giving in altogether. She has always been a naysayer and untrustworthy. I felt most of the time that I don't matter. It was only my husband that helped me to start to see and work on being more kind toward myself.
I have trust issues around woman that was adopted from childhood. It brings a lot of relationship anxiety to me that I battle alone because I fear sharing it because I don't want it used against me, so I battle it alone. Makes relationships anxiety ridden, fun, fun..
Thank you Terri, you have helped me so much with this. I almost ruined a great relationship with a lovely trustworthy man with my trust issues but I am working on myself with this every day so we can build up our trust and have a healthier relationship that is strong and loving and exciting with our love. Terri, you are beautiful inside and out, thank you again.
To learn how to become discerning really is the key for me. I've been both too trusting and constantly doubting. You're right, Terri, it's exhausting. Thank you for sharing this video and the guide❤🙏
This is a tough topic for me. I could never trust myself to date a decent guy and then to make decisions that were in my best interest once in the dysfunctional relationship? I am learning now to trust and honor my values. I want to try to date again but the fear of making bad decisions stops me. Most of my past relationships were co-dependent and unhealthy. My Mom was not loving enough towards me -- I am sure this make me feel like I can' trust people I love. I need to learn to love yself and trust myself first. I wanted my Mom to hold me and hug me and tell me I am pretty when I came home from school crying after kids made funn of my large nose. My last name is Gross and they said yes she is - Mom said don't worry - you will get a nose job when you are 16. ok, I underdstand that but I was crying and in pain and feeling hurt - - hug me - tell me you love me and I am pretty -- did this affect my trust issues with loved ones? I has an expectaion with my Mom and it wasn't met. And with men I dated - never met
Thank you for this conversation. I checked off the boxes on the majority of these points. The past 10 yrs have had me soul searching and flipping the script.
I'm going through the same stuff right now she broke up with me with the condition I work on myself and it's hard asf. I feel myself changing but I fear it's too late even tho she's still living with me and we talk everyday she's going to go drinking with a coworker that's married and she's promised nothing will happen and she even told me she's coming back home and not spending the night there I just worry bc of how non coherent she can get not knowing where she is and I'm stressing about her safety and what if something happens
I have been too trusting in the past or maybe seeing the "all fine" about others, but not so much now. Difficult experiences with others can well be the case or as you have explained not so ready to self~abandonment and seeing self~regard from different perspectives. Thank you so much for this video& conversation Terri it will be powerful to work on blue-prints, question inner dialogues and whys.. 😊❤
Thank you Terri for the video. Your thoughtful and nuanced comments provides many opportunities for reflection. I feel like you explored this topic to some very deep places, so thank you.
Wow, Terri thanks. I learned so much, even though I have been looking at relationship issues, with counseling, for a while. Example, positive projecting,. I now realise, it's a big problem of mine.🤓
1) How do u trear yourself? 2) In what areas of yoir life are you good at keeping your word to yourself? 3) What were the red flags you ignored about people who later turned out to be untrustworthy?
I have a suspicion she has trust issues. Thinking back, i ised to get in trouble for dream me cheating on her vs awake/ real me NOT cheating on her. Crazy
Hi Terri, thanks for this video. I implicitly trusted my wife for 20 years but recently found out that she'd hidden her 'friendship' with a male colleague for the last 3 years. They met regularly at work for coffees and chats, and also went out for dinners with other friends but for some reason he was the only one she never mentioned to me. I found out about their friendship from reading her Facebook messages ( with her permission of course) and this has really hurt me and I can't trust her anymore. She says that her relationship is inconsequential so she never mentioned it, but that isn't how it comes across from the messages. She promised to never hide any meetings or interactions with him from me again and I learnt to trust her again. But last week she met him and planned a dinner with him and other friends and lied to me about it. Unfortunately I found out and now I am really unable to trust her at all. This led me to your video. I really don't know what to do anymore. I love her to bits but can't deal with this deception and secrecy which is affecting my ability to love her as much as I am capable of.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, and so sorry to hear you're going through this. 💕 Have you spoken to her about it, and asked her why she felt the need to lie about it after agreeing to not hide it from you? Have you told her in plain terms how it looks to you? (Like, can she understand how this is a breach of trust, or is she still downplaying it?) Is she willing to go to couple's therapy- is that something you're interested in? I would have been clear and set boundaries upon seeing the messages, like, "I am deeply uncomfortable with what I'm reading here, especially given that it's been going on for 3 years. I would like to request that you stop having dinner with him. If you do, then..." and I would have suggested a consequence. But since we're past that, if this is a deal breaker for you, I would tell her that and ask for a very honest conversation about why she went behind your back and what thoughts she's having about this entire situation. Like, "You asked me to trust you when you said you wouldn't hide meetings with him and then you did exactly that. Why?" I hope that helps. I'd also suggest getting clear on what kind of outcome you're looking for with this. If there's no path to regaining trust, then you might need to be honest about that with yourself, too. 💕
@@terri_cole thank you for your advice. She said she cared about my feelings and didn't want me to be upset knowing that she'd met him and was planning on going to dinner with him. To be honest, I never asked her not to go out as a group when he was attending as well. I think she was planning on telling me after the dinner that he had turned up as well, although I can't say for definite as the dinner got cancelled after her deception was discovered. I am sure she's not having a physical affair, but I'm worried that at some point she got too emotionally involved with this man and is now trying to hide it. That was when our relationship was going through some issues as well. I think marriage counselling is the only way forward. I want to trust her but need her to prove to me that she's trustworthy. I'll set my boundaries clear (learning from your videos) and give her one more chance and if there are any more untruths or deception, it'll mean the end of our relationship I'm afraid.
So sorry to hear that 💕 Are either of you open to couple's counseling to work through it with a third party? Do you or your girlfriend know what is at the root of her trust issues?
my boyfriend has trust issus and he's acussed me of cheating when i didn't. he ask where i am makes feel like he don't trust me. I wish my boyfriend can watch this. I have trust issus to but i never once accused him. I hate living my life like this. My boyfriend don't trust anyone or anything. I'm having hard time enjoying my life.
Trust issues can be difficult to navigate, especially if the other person isn't willing to work on them. If you want to stay with your boyfriend I would ask what specifically would help him feel like he could trust you again. But if there's zero reason for him to accuse you of cheating, I'd also be careful that he's not trying to be controlling or manipulative. I talk about that here: ua-cam.com/video/8sBKq8cRs78/v-deo.html
@@terri_cole I hope its not my falute for people having trust issus. I'm always telling the truth to him at least. but somtime his trust issuis hurts me
@@terri_coleI think he knows. I feel I believe. I had another argument yesterday. 😢 He sees I'm getting bullied but he handled the hard way he was yelling and shouting at me me on the phone and swearing 😢 he didn't handle it very well 😔 and he doesn't like seeing multiple Facebook accounts . Apparently my Facebook account is affecting his trust I feel like I'm losing his trust 😢 his trust issues are hurting me 😢 he was making me cry 💔😢 so I didn't want to talk to him after all this fight I wanted space 😭😢 I definitely needed it he was still saying babe are you there .
Terr, I have a question about repeating realities. You were talking about trust this time, but what if the problem is emotional unavailablity of both of the parents? In my case, because of that I supose, I am emotional unavailable in a way(not 100% bc I am trying not to be like my parents, and sometimes I disconect from the present moment), but I am attracting friends and guys who are often em. unavailable. I mean, how to stop that circle with attracting and how to be more em. available for others? Hope you understood🤗
You might want to check out my conversation with Vienna Pharaon - ua-cam.com/video/iYaS_SBA7Rs/v-deo.html She goes into detail on sort of the 'reverse' repeating reality that may help to shed some light on your situation ❤️ As for being more emotionally available for others, I did a video recently on creating emotional safety in relationships which may be a good starting point: ua-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/v-deo.html
hi again I know i commented one mouth ago but I remeaber i said my boyfriend has trust issis. he also has anger prombems to 😢 he was yelling and swearing at me on the phone today I feel like i'm losing his trust. its happing on facebook. I don't feel happy anymore on facebook. My boyfriend is being rude and not being nice to me. I thanking about deleting my facebook cuz i'm also being cyber bullied 😢 my boyfriend knows but he handle it the wrong way by yelling and swearing at me. He's not helping me much. His trust issuis are hurting me and making me depressed. He made me cry.
Hey there- I responded to your other comment regarding your boyfriend's behavior specifically, but I think it's perfectly okay for you to delete your Facebook. That sounds like a healthy boundary to set, especially if you're getting bullied. 💕 Social media boundaries are important for us to have!
Let me know whether you are too trusting or distrusting in the comments, and why you think that might be the case. Download the guide for your trust blueprint: www.terricole.com/trust-issues-ruining-relationships-guide
Too trusting…been called “gullible.” You “wear your heart on your sleeve,” as if it’s a bad thing(?).
"Trust issue can solve trust also.
But choose wisely who can be trusted"
-My friend
I used to be too trusting..... Then literally everyone in my life gave me reasons to not trust anyone! And now that there is someone I think I may be able to trust.... I am quick to believe that they are either stealing from me or doing something wrong.... Ugh so then I find it easier to be alone....
I see you ❤️ Sometimes it helps if we begin small- see if this person will be true to their word in a very small, low-stakes situation and then go from there. (Of course, don't do that if you have proof they are stealing from you!)
For me. Everyone has my respect and can lose it. But no one gets my trust until they earn it.
As a woman who dares men, once trust is violated it’s time to move on. I’ve ended multiple relationships over men who lied and couldn’t keep their eyes off pictures of women. Even after multiple conversations. I have learned that people don’t change. All it did was make me a worse person for the right man.
There was absolutely no trust in my family from a very young age, too much to put into one comment. Then I was cheated on and abused in my own relationships until now. And my trust issues got in the way of my newest relationship, and I’m afraid I’ve ruined it forever.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️
My husband is naive and unknowingly gives me reasons not to trust him even though he doesn’t mean any harm to me by doing these things. I’ve pointed them out. I’ve been cheated on by every man I’ve been with except him although he doesn’t seem to totally understand that when he talks and jokes and laughs with other women that it hurts me so deep and I know that’s wrong.
My trust blueprint is my father was not trustworthy and he abandoned me at a very young age.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 Thank you for sharing.
I learned that people were not trustworthy. My parents never and I mean that, NEVER, did keep their word. They have lied to me and my family multiple times to manipulate us. We found out later. My mom is a narcissisty. Dad has gone from some of the time reining her in tp giving up and giving in altogether. She has always been a naysayer and untrustworthy. I felt most of the time that I don't matter. It was only my husband that helped me to start to see and work on being more kind toward myself.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion 💕
Thanks
Same here, I can’t seem to trust anyone including myself ❤️🩹
I have trust issues around woman that was adopted from childhood. It brings a lot of relationship anxiety to me that I battle alone because I fear sharing it because I don't want it used against me, so I battle it alone. Makes relationships anxiety ridden, fun, fun..
I am so sorry to hear that and am witnessing you with compassion 💕
Thank you Terri, you have helped me so much with this. I almost ruined a great relationship with a lovely trustworthy man with my trust issues but I am working on myself with this every day so we can build up our trust and have a healthier relationship that is strong and loving and exciting with our love. Terri, you are beautiful inside and out, thank you again.
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
To learn how to become discerning really is the key for me. I've been both too trusting and constantly doubting. You're right, Terri, it's exhausting. Thank you for sharing this video and the guide❤🙏
I see you ❤️ And you are so welcome!
Hi Terri, I have also been too trusting to my cost and finally learned not everyone is trustworthy.
I see you 💕
Thank you for sharing your very valid points that helped me understand my trust and paranoia issues so I can learn to trust and love deeper.
❤️❤️❤️
This is a tough topic for me. I could never trust myself to date a decent guy and then to make decisions that were in my best interest once in the dysfunctional relationship? I am learning now to trust and honor my values. I want to try to date again but the fear of making bad decisions stops me. Most of my past relationships were co-dependent and unhealthy.
My Mom was not loving enough towards me -- I am sure this make me feel like I can' trust people I love. I need to learn to love yself and trust myself first.
I wanted my Mom to hold me and hug me and tell me I am pretty when I came home from school crying after kids made funn of my large nose. My last name is Gross and they said yes she is - Mom said don't worry - you will get a nose job when you are 16. ok, I underdstand that but I was crying and in pain and feeling hurt - - hug me - tell me you love me and I am pretty -- did this affect my trust issues with loved ones? I has an expectaion with my Mom and it wasn't met. And with men I dated - never met
This makes sense to me, Linda, and I am witnessing you and your younger self with so much compassion 💕
Thank you for this conversation. I checked off the boxes on the majority of these points. The past 10 yrs have had me soul searching and flipping the script.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤
I ruined a relationship with an amazing person because of my trust issues.. not only did I loose her, but I also feel like a monster
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
how old are you?
I'm going through the same stuff right now she broke up with me with the condition I work on myself and it's hard asf. I feel myself changing but I fear it's too late even tho she's still living with me and we talk everyday she's going to go drinking with a coworker that's married and she's promised nothing will happen and she even told me she's coming back home and not spending the night there I just worry bc of how non coherent she can get not knowing where she is and I'm stressing about her safety and what if something happens
I need some advice
I have been too trusting in the past or
maybe seeing the "all fine" about others, but not so much now. Difficult
experiences with others can well be
the case or as you have explained not
so ready to self~abandonment and seeing self~regard from different
perspectives. Thank you so much
for this video& conversation Terri
it will be powerful to work on
blue-prints, question inner dialogues
and whys.. 😊❤
I am so glad you think the exercises will be helpful, and thank you for sharing 💕
talking perfect sense, as always Terri, thank you
So glad it was helpful! ❤
Thank you Terri for the video. Your thoughtful and nuanced comments provides many opportunities for reflection. I feel like you explored this topic to some very deep places, so thank you.
I am so glad you found it helpful 💕
Thank you for making this video 🙏
You are so welcome ❤
Great video. Subscribed.
❤️❤️❤️
Wow, Terri thanks. I learned so much, even though I have been looking at relationship issues, with counseling, for a while. Example, positive projecting,. I now realise, it's a big problem of mine.🤓
I feel you on that! ❤️
Great video❤️
Great and very insightful message indeed and thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching ❤️
1) How do u trear yourself?
2) In what areas of yoir life are you good at keeping your word to yourself?
3) What were the red flags you ignored about people who later turned out to be untrustworthy?
🔥🔥🔥
That's the problem I was trusting and then overthrown. I'm disappointed now that it's hard for me to trust men.
I see you ❤️
Good morning Terri! I’m new here, I just watched my first video and found it to be so helpful! Looking forward to this video and more 😎
Welcome Julie, so glad to have you here! Thanks for watching ❤️
Hello everyone! I am actively working on my issues for the sake of my relationship.
I am cheering you on, Lisa ❤️
I have a suspicion she has trust issues.
Thinking back, i ised to get in trouble for dream me cheating on her vs awake/ real me NOT cheating on her.
Crazy
Hi Terri, thanks for this video. I implicitly trusted my wife for 20 years but recently found out that she'd hidden her 'friendship' with a male colleague for the last 3 years. They met regularly at work for coffees and chats, and also went out for dinners with other friends but for some reason he was the only one she never mentioned to me. I found out about their friendship from reading her Facebook messages ( with her permission of course) and this has really hurt me and I can't trust her anymore. She says that her relationship is inconsequential so she never mentioned it, but that isn't how it comes across from the messages. She promised to never hide any meetings or interactions with him from me again and I learnt to trust her again. But last week she met him and planned a dinner with him and other friends and lied to me about it. Unfortunately I found out and now I am really unable to trust her at all. This led me to your video. I really don't know what to do anymore. I love her to bits but can't deal with this deception and secrecy which is affecting my ability to love her as much as I am capable of.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, and so sorry to hear you're going through this. 💕 Have you spoken to her about it, and asked her why she felt the need to lie about it after agreeing to not hide it from you? Have you told her in plain terms how it looks to you? (Like, can she understand how this is a breach of trust, or is she still downplaying it?) Is she willing to go to couple's therapy- is that something you're interested in?
I would have been clear and set boundaries upon seeing the messages, like, "I am deeply uncomfortable with what I'm reading here, especially given that it's been going on for 3 years. I would like to request that you stop having dinner with him. If you do, then..." and I would have suggested a consequence. But since we're past that, if this is a deal breaker for you, I would tell her that and ask for a very honest conversation about why she went behind your back and what thoughts she's having about this entire situation. Like, "You asked me to trust you when you said you wouldn't hide meetings with him and then you did exactly that. Why?" I hope that helps. I'd also suggest getting clear on what kind of outcome you're looking for with this. If there's no path to regaining trust, then you might need to be honest about that with yourself, too. 💕
@@terri_cole thank you for your advice. She said she cared about my feelings and didn't want me to be upset knowing that she'd met him and was planning on going to dinner with him. To be honest, I never asked her not to go out as a group when he was attending as well. I think she was planning on telling me after the dinner that he had turned up as well, although I can't say for definite as the dinner got cancelled after her deception was discovered. I am sure she's not having a physical affair, but I'm worried that at some point she got too emotionally involved with this man and is now trying to hide it. That was when our relationship was going through some issues as well.
I think marriage counselling is the only way forward. I want to trust her but need her to prove to me that she's trustworthy.
I'll set my boundaries clear (learning from your videos) and give her one more chance and if there are any more untruths or deception, it'll mean the end of our relationship I'm afraid.
I think setting boundaries and making them crystal clear along with marriage counselling sounds like a good plan. Wishing you the best ❤️
I'm battling to trust my partner (and everyone else for that matter).
I'm sorry to hear that 💕 I have another video on trust here that may provide some insights: ua-cam.com/video/G2itCfc8jEw/v-deo.html
Thank u mam,
Please tell us something about how to be less neurotic in behaviour and reactions,and respond calmly,by self soothing🙏❤️
I have a video on self-soothing here: ua-cam.com/video/X8i2uaqyU4Y/v-deo.html ❤
Thank you
You're welcome!
I'm working on myself ❤ I'm losing my husband because of me I nag and complain everyday because of my past he's such amazing man now he's lost
What if my boyfriend doesn’t trust so he cheats bcs he his afraid to trust and suffer? What To do to gain is trust?
Hello everyone 😊
Hi there Kristen! ❤️
Marc herring
Me and my girlfriend we got into an argument she believes that I have trust issues
I'm sorry to hear that, Marc ❤️ Do you feel that way about yourself?
My girlfriend’s trust issues are destroying our relationship and I don’t know what to do anymore.
So sorry to hear that 💕 Are either of you open to couple's counseling to work through it with a third party? Do you or your girlfriend know what is at the root of her trust issues?
my boyfriend has trust issus and he's acussed me of cheating when i didn't. he ask where i am makes feel like he don't trust me. I wish my boyfriend can watch this. I have trust issus to but i never once accused him. I hate living my life like this. My boyfriend don't trust anyone or anything. I'm having hard time enjoying my life.
I'm sorry to hear that, Kristen 💕 Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how this makes you feel?
@@terri_cole told him makes me feel like a bad girlfriend i feel that i feel guty.thats how i found out he has trust issuis
Trust issues can be difficult to navigate, especially if the other person isn't willing to work on them. If you want to stay with your boyfriend I would ask what specifically would help him feel like he could trust you again. But if there's zero reason for him to accuse you of cheating, I'd also be careful that he's not trying to be controlling or manipulative. I talk about that here: ua-cam.com/video/8sBKq8cRs78/v-deo.html
@@terri_cole I hope its not my falute for people having trust issus. I'm always telling the truth to him at least. but somtime his trust issuis hurts me
@@terri_coleI think he knows. I feel I believe. I had another argument yesterday. 😢 He sees I'm getting bullied but he handled the hard way he was yelling and shouting at me me on the phone and swearing 😢 he didn't handle it very well 😔 and he doesn't like seeing multiple Facebook accounts . Apparently my Facebook account is affecting his trust I feel like I'm losing his trust 😢 his trust issues are hurting me 😢 he was making me cry 💔😢 so I didn't want to talk to him after all this fight I wanted space 😭😢 I definitely needed it he was still saying babe are you there .
Terr, I have a question about repeating realities. You were talking about trust this time, but what if the problem is emotional unavailablity of both of the parents?
In my case, because of that I supose, I am emotional unavailable in a way(not 100% bc I am trying not to be like my parents, and sometimes I disconect from the present moment), but I am attracting friends and guys who are often em. unavailable. I mean, how to stop that circle with attracting and how to be more em. available for others? Hope you understood🤗
You might want to check out my conversation with Vienna Pharaon - ua-cam.com/video/iYaS_SBA7Rs/v-deo.html She goes into detail on sort of the 'reverse' repeating reality that may help to shed some light on your situation ❤️
As for being more emotionally available for others, I did a video recently on creating emotional safety in relationships which may be a good starting point: ua-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/v-deo.html
Thank you 💓💞I will definitely check that
Hey I'm BELLADONNA NICOLE FERGUSON. You're amazing!!!!
Thank you, I appreciate you being here!
hi again I know i commented one mouth ago but I remeaber i said my boyfriend has trust issis. he also has anger prombems to 😢 he was yelling and swearing at me on the phone today I feel like i'm losing his trust. its happing on facebook. I don't feel happy anymore on facebook. My boyfriend is being rude and not being nice to me. I thanking about deleting my facebook cuz i'm also being cyber bullied 😢 my boyfriend knows but he handle it the wrong way by yelling and swearing at me. He's not helping me much. His trust issuis are hurting me and making me depressed. He made me cry.
Hey there- I responded to your other comment regarding your boyfriend's behavior specifically, but I think it's perfectly okay for you to delete your Facebook. That sounds like a healthy boundary to set, especially if you're getting bullied. 💕 Social media boundaries are important for us to have!
Hi , I’m Tina
I have trust issues
I see you, Tina 💕
Do not trust.
i dont get the pdf file/mail to my hotmail :(
Please reach out to my team and let them know: support @ terricole.com (without the spaces) ❤️
Mam which country u from😊😊