The dangerous rise of Serious Young Men
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- #masculinity #men #youngmen
"Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are."
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0:00 Andrew Tate boy (story)
1:48 *When you interrupt yourself
2:24 We young men are confused
3:53 The right amount of effort
4:26 What it means to be 'sincere' instead of 'serious'
5:45 The etymology of 'serious' & 'sincere'
6:31 You can't be serious when you dance
7:07 Tune in whilst letting go
8:05 4 ways to stop being so serious
9:43 Victory swig + outro rizz
Allow me to clarify one thing:
- In no way shape or form was I degrading the young man for asking a girl for her number.
- Most men are terrified of approaching women but he had the courage to shoot his shot.
- The point I was addressing was the way in which he went about it. Nothing more, nothing less.
- Who knows… maybe that was his first time doing it. Either way, more power to him. Hopefully he’ll be less serious next time.
Stay disciplined & playful.
Lewis
Goku essentially
@@cryptosporidium1375what
Worrying that u even need to clarify this.
@@sayo2409 we live in a world when idiots will gouge their eyes when they see parts they think it's bad and angrily comments on a video blindly, so clarification is always welcome
This guy did absolutely nothing wrong. You have serious issues. Every bit of the "problem" was assumptions you made about the guy. You're a bigot.
Bro had such a bad rizz his friend had to do a video essay about it 💀
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
of how bad the rizz was😂
lol
Uh oh, a typical “bro” comment. I must be in typical video full of typical trend following people and not individuals. Better get out of here fast. The herd is disgusting.
Rather than ‘self development’ as such, more of these guys with high levels of influence should be encouraging men to be more self aware, intentional with their actions, and most importantly, become critical thinkers. Of course, they wouldn’t dare do such a thing because a critically thinking man wouldn’t be buying courses from men who’s sole income isn’t from what they ‘teach’ within the course, but from the selling of the course.
Young men don't need critical thinking, they need opportunities to make a living wage and find mates to start families.
@@sp123 With respect, what a load of nonsense to say men don’t need critical thinking. It’s precisely critical thinking that leads to the opportunities you speak of. I can promise you or anyone else reading this, signing up to hustlers university isn’t going to make you financially free or successful with women.
@@amxdai4568the great successes of our world are born of strong men in both body and mind. These dudes are immature to think that a disciplined body is all you need.
While it’s good to be disciplined at anything, there needs to be that sureness that really gets us where we’re going.
@@sp123if young men aren’t taught to think critically about their choices or what they want to learn, they are doomed to fail. Don’t do that to young men.
That's all part of self development mate
I needed this bro 😭 thank you
My little sister came in the room and said “I can hear your teacher” she thought it was my college class. So thank you professor
Hahaha! We're on this journey together comrade! Thank you for your words.
Lol it's the mic I love it
it's the accent.
Fuck it I’m just gonna do whatever I want and if anyone doesn’t like it fuck em’
Now that sounds like a man I’d follow into war.
Just don't rope the kids
@@kenjamingarnett9321 bruh
@@kenjamingarnett9321ur not funny
truly a charisma -2 moment@@kenjamingarnett9321
"should implies social obligation, could implies potential"
oh god i will always remember it, thank you 🙏
🫶🤝
surprising to hear that no one knows this.
Isn't basic grammar teached I middle school?
@@yasininn76 *taught at/in
@@yasininn76 do I have a mistake in sentence?
"Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are."
Needed this video right now man.
Good advice, glad I clicked on it.
But it's easier said than done, when you tense up for so long. Definitely possible , though.
@@aidencrowe8146i feel you bro we all got this tho, keep a positive mentality and we will all get there🙌
My x lover best friend and baby momma Jennifer Christine lamprecht, Isabelle Christina whomever she is I miss her terribly . I must also apologize to Natasha Pawliuk for breaking my other best friends heart ❤️ , are triangle has left me feeling dread as if both parties are currently in horrible condition and or being abused.
Jennifer Christine lamprecht will always be my baby momma and a true love, Natasha Pawliuk will always be my first real love.
Every day I feel like a spectre splitting into eternity from the book Four Zoas by William Blake, horrible agony as we split into eternity
MATE YES. I've danced salsa and bachata for 2 years and I've thought that exact thing. When you ask a girl to dance and lead, you are setting the frame. If you go in nervous, she will feel nervous and not trust you to lead, if you go in too serious, the dance feels devoid fun and excitement. However if you ask with a smile on your face and energy, chatting and laughing while you dance, she feels that energy and feeds from it.
My teachers also said the idea of men being the frame and women being the beautiful picture. Maybe it makes more sense in a masculine and feminine sense, but the masculine provides the frame and tone for the femine to blossom and bloom. You don't lead too hard or too soft, you lead with confidence and style and the partner follows flowing and making a beautiful scene following your lead. It's ok for her to lead sometimes too, but if you are the established lead for this particular dance, you have to have confidence in yourself and see it through.
Pinned this comment. Awesome stuff Miguel. Solid points.
It has to be Chad frame then.
Ugly guys wont even experience the true passion, emotion or even get a chance to dance Salsa.
Keep that BS to some intellectual m@sturb@t!on.
Are you me? Ive had the exact same experience with social dancing. Did wonders to challenge, enlighten and strengthen the knowledge of myself as a man, leader.
I have 0 experience in dancing and it sounds like I'm missing out on something.
Big ups
As a young man i asked several people for their advice on getting into dating in the first place. I can honestly say the best advice i ever got was to be myself and go with the flow without worrying about results.
Wow, you got terrible advice that you think was great advice.
so then should he stay this fake made-up person that he pretended to be just to speak to her in the first place, forever?
For me it's not so much about being truthful but about learning to enjoy the moment more for what it is: learning to trust the process again instead of focusing on progress.
If you think that's terrible advice, then I would like to hear yours.
This is great but i think its a bit more than that. To flow and change and grow should be the base or core values that you surround your personal traits around. Talk to yourself and truly understand who you are. Find your values and if you truly honor whats important to you, the right person will see that and will see you.
@@BramVanhooydonckyou should consider being more spiritual. Think about religions or philosophies such as stoicism or even daoism.
This is why instead of blindly following all of these influencers that tell me to work hard and focus on your goals and nothing else, I like to take a little bit that resinates with me from every one of them and apply it to my own life while still doing hobbies and having interests.
Yes don’t forget to LIVE!
Draw wisdome from many places. You exactly apply that phiolosophy. You take for yourself advice that improves yourself and you leave what would not. A balanced live
yes sir
for me i dont really want money but i know i need it so as long as i can have the life i seek ill do my upmost to make enough money to do that anything more is unnecessary
My x lover best friend and baby momma Jennifer Christine lamprecht, Isabelle Christina whomever she is I miss her terribly . I must also apologize to Natasha Pawliuk for breaking my other best friends heart ❤️ , are triangle has left me feeling dread as if both parties are currently in horrible condition and or being abused.
Jennifer Christine lamprecht will always be my baby momma and a true love, Natasha Pawliuk will always be my first real love.
Every day I feel like a spectre splitting into eternity from the book Four Zoas by William Blake, horrible agony as we split into eternity
that charisma skit was nice 🤣🤣
The cheeky bugger is always holding me accountable!
I don’t know man. I’m tired of trying. I don’t see the point of chasing women anymore. I’m really lonely but I’d rather be alone instead trying to constantly chase. Focus on yourselves guys. Everything else will fall in place. I’ve learned that attachment is truly the root of all suffering. Let go, stop worrying, stop chasing, just keep your head down and work. I’ve stopped caring.
Us bro. But woman isn't everything. There are the friends whom have to consider. Being numb to friends makes also lonely. I think my biggest mistake is not to be able to distinguish between seriousness and maturity. I was serious, and feel that it is maturity.
Sounds like chasing was the problem
Not all suffering is bad though. This is life, you're gonna suffer regardless, we choose what's worth suffering for. You can avoid suffering, but then you won't be living life
Yes several years ago I started listening to classical piano. Mozart hooked me and led me to buy myself a piano to learn how to do stuff like him. Turns out that I am a late blooming prodigy for lack of a better term. It has been seven years since this discovery and I still don't know what to do with it.
Amazing! Keep it up!
broooooo, did not see it coming
become a classical pianist and tour around the world!
Most real reddit story... clown
I don't know if I'm a prodigy but I started learning piano almost a decade ago. In the first couple years I learned at a pretty fast pace and felt good about myself. Somewhere along the way I got very serious about it in a competitive and professional sense and it drained all the fun out of it as well as my desire to play. Lately I've been getting back into playing with the goal of getting better at it to be a piano teacher, but also trying to be more lighthearted.
It is impressive that you made an entire video about humility without using the word once
Iroh is the counterbalance to self improvement the idea needs. Balance is everything, beeing able to be serious and successful is as important as remembering to be human in the process
@@little_lord_tam there is nothing about humility that is incongruous with self improvement
@@quatreraberbawinner2628 No, humility is part of it and I would say its one of the earliest lessons one has to learn. It opens the path to self reflection and consideration
Beautiful.
No matter what young men do, they will always be considered doing something wrong. Thats what Ive learned over the years, good luck fellas.
Have they tried not being men? Oh, wait, some are....
That’s funny because that’s how we feel as women.
@@MeandmySara It's sad you find that funny. Don't confuse your personnel experience with public narratives and try to be gracious about life and gracious upon the mistakes of others, ok?
@@MeandmySarathen you must understand how similar we are right?
@@jerrinvictor6220 yes, I understand how similar we are in some respects, though not in this one to be honest.
"We are all dancing animals. How beautiful it is to get up, go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around don't let anyone tell you different."-- Kurt Vonnegut
Awesome quote 👍
We are all dancing animals- Except the beautiful ones gets to dance.
While the rest are weeded out.
Nice try sounding smart.
@@unknowninfinium4353 Nice try sounding deep. Go to the gym and fix your shitty wardrobe. Boom you're beautiful now. Go dance.
@@unknowninfinium4353 what stops you from ending it all? 2:47
@@weirdo911aw Saying "Yes" to life.
The reason why guys get serious is because their sincerity was tossed aside.
oh the horror!
Bro what? You had one bad interaction with someone. Doesn't mean the rest of your life has to be cold and serious.
@@lefftee9721 it sounds more like a series of having sincerity tossed aside, not a single instance.
@@lordlittletoeq8537 it is a traumatic experience to open up only to be spat on and ridiculed for who you are, that's why people cast aside or even vilify sincerity.
@@borderlands10 *spit
It's so refreshing to see an authentic UA-camr that's not a hamza clone.
I mean, I totally agree with you. If anything, pursuing anything in a "sincere, not serious" way is at the very least the most pleasant way, for everyone involved, to get/become what you "could". But I have to 1000% disagree about the implication (and the troubling lack of curiosity about where the problem actually comes from) that it is all somehow merely a (wrong) "choice" that young men are making. That they can simply turn a switch to become sincere, not serious. And most importantly, that they somehow haven't ever really been sincere, not serious. I don't think people are born "serious" (and if some are and you're suggesting they forgo their very nature, that's a whole other problem). But they learn to become serious. Not only are they bombarded with messages that they should become serious, they've likely resisted the messages until LIFE ITSELF made them understand that they should probably get serious. Everyone who enters the casino with a couple thousands to spare is going to have fun at first. But when you come to a point where all the "fun" has made you lose your life savings and your organs, "seriousness" will set in about trying to get back your losses. Likewise, I firmly believe that for young men (young people in general?), the easy-going spirit, the "sincerity" is taken away from them, not stupidly given in exchange for seriousness for no actual reason. They adopt the seriousness AFTER seeing that sincerity didn't work at all in getting anything, whether it be a girl, money, good grades. In your example about the serious person at a board game, I think it would be more accurate if that person had a gun to their head and they HAD to win to save their life. How could you reproach that person to be serious? Or at the very least, not understand that the seriousness has at least a very good reason to be there? Again, it makes sense and would be ideal for the man who just had a big breakfast to go fishing "with sincerity", to not get too attached to the results of getting fish or not, to feel that they could get fish without feeling that they should. But what about that same man if 2 weeks later, they are now starving because they still haven't got any fish at all? Is it really their own fault that they've now become "serious" about getting fish? We rarely go "seriously" into any endeavor at first (and certainly not life itself, in my opinion), but it's incredibly short-sighted to not see that so many people get burned into becoming serious because the alternative(s) haven't worked out, at all.
First of all, thank you for sharing this. Because I agree with you. When I wrote the script for this video I think this was the only aspect I missed out, and if I could I would have included what you said as a caveat at the end. The only reason I didn’t is because I always like to promote the message of personal responsibility. That said, I always appreciate challenges to my ideas. You’ve given me a lot to think about so thank you. And great examples as well.
There are times for either one, I think. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy what you're doing and just have fun, but at times you kinda need to be serious
I believe in a balanced approach that integrates sincerity with a sense of responsibility and seriousness. Rather than treating these aspects separately, it's crucial to understand that authenticity and personal responsibility go hand in hand, shaping a fulfilling and purpose-driven life.
The comment mentioned how sincerity, while valuable, may not always yield the desired results, prompting individuals to become serious in their pursuits. This shift often occurs when faced with responsibilities that demand a more focused and determined approach. For example, imagine someone whose livelihood depends on fishing. While fishing can be a recreational activity enjoyed with sincerity and joy, when it becomes a means of sustenance, it requires a serious mindset. In this context, the goal shifts from mere enjoyment to securing food and livelihood, emphasizing the importance of results.
It's about finding a balance where one remains true to their authentic self while acknowledging and fulfilling responsibilities effectively. This means approaching tasks with sincerity and dedication, understanding that certain endeavors require a serious commitment to achieve desired outcomes.
Living authentically doesn't mean disregarding responsibilities or treating life casually. Instead, it's about being genuine in one's actions while also recognizing the gravity of responsibilities and the need for a serious approach when necessary. This integrated approach allows individuals to navigate life with purpose, authenticity, and a sense of fulfillment, ensuring that they live in alignment with their values and aspirations.
well this is take, and i use ai for help to refine my english emz
Mentioned how sincerity may not always yield the desired results, leading individuals to become serious. While I agree that sincerity shouldn't be dismissed, it's essential to recognize that certain responsibilities require a serious mindset. For instance, when a person's livelihood depends on fishing, they must approach it with the goal of catching fish for sustenance, not just as a playful activity. This balance ensures that one doesn't neglect the importance of results while still maintaining authenticity in their actions.
I think I’m dating the point is not to go at it from a scarcity mindset because the lends itself to desperation which isn’t attractive. Same with interviewing for a job. Being serious acquiring food (fishing when starving) is good, but I think most interpersonal relationships benefit more from sincerity than seriousness. Seriousness is heaviness, and heavy loads can exhaust people.
I very much dislike it when men say that demoralized men are man children. “Just enjoy the dystopia bro”
Don’t like to be in chronic pain from perpetually never being good enough no matter how hard you try? Obviously a Man-child, ‘pull Yerself up by the bootstraps kiddo!” Feels like boomers calling younger gens lazy for not having their first home and dream job at 16. It’s out of touch.
Even if a man gets the girl, gets the abs, and gets the money. It will never be good enough.
Even if you work hard to become the man that girls see as ‘good enough’ to maintain that is hard, and to fail to improve results in ‘I don’t love you anymore’ or ‘I found someone whose slightly better, see ya’
I despise being told by other dudes that I’m just not trying hard enough.
When it’s hard enough just to try and dream up reasons why having any of those toy trophies are worth all of the monumental effort and cost.
Whatever.
Okay boomer.
This is true, I worked hard till until chronic fatique , fainted and almost died twice doing so.
No matter what I from childhood to adloscence did heavy lifting to help them and neighbhours get drinking/bathing water
not get in any trouble, be respectful , lighthearted etc etc.
it does not matter you are always Lazy, fat (even though I was muscular and have a extremly physical 6 pack), stupid (no matter how much i study or demonstrate comphrehension and deeper thinking) until I realize its exactly that.
It does not matter what you do, these people are hateful of you no matter the circumstances or how difficult things are, hating or dismiising people who are struggling or have nothing is the attribute of a psychopath.
the moment I learned this made me realize how much of a ugly thing so many people are and especially as a male.
people constantly pissing on you and your efforts makes accomplishing anything harder and just as you said at the end. Why even bother? why even go so far.
which made me realize its best for a man to live for himself and himself only, if there are a few people you designate "descent" you can keep them around but do not be afraid to be "lazy" or whatever the things those people call you, in fact I advise you to slowly dissapear from those people with not a word.
Its crazy how so many men share this similar story of no matter what you are doing is bad and you are dirt, yet media and pop culture will all gaslight them saying how its "they must CHANGE THIS, OR DO THAT AND ETC ETC its YOUR FAULT" cause its easier to dismiss and blame them for struggles than acknowledging that something is wrong.
even though I doubt most men are expecting or wanting anything from them at all. I Have a friend from childhood, its the same thing .I was once afraid to ask him about his life though I had his contacts for years cause I expecting the similar answers knowing modern day and I was sadly right. Right now he worked hard worked hard got hit by a truck and need back braces and cant work anymore while they call him just that "LAZY" while he has his doctors note and is almost crippled due to spine damage. He was berrated all the time when he was working by family, men and women and when he cant anymore its he is LAZY/undesirable.
In other words, forget about most people and do what you want.Why would you listen to someone who clearly demonstrate they do not care about you at all.
@@CyberPunkBadGuy Thats insane, I'm sorry all that happened to you. I hope you're doing better dude. Dont sacrifice your health and mind for people and things that arent worth it right? Your friends story is brutal too, there just doesnt seem to be a lot of mercy for guys when society doesnt see them as useful.
The honest truth is things like inflation, cost of living, social media, and a demographic transition into abundance of old people is what is killing young mens dating prospects.
I’ve been waiting FOREVER for your album to come out lilbroomstick
F ing real bro, love you for this comment.
You say this but for the whole of human history most people were living in poverty for worse than what we have now, yet they still found life partners at a young age that lasted their whole lives, it seems to be a problem more of culture and attitude than anything influenced by economic factors
@MrAKthing Objectively it can be said that modern culture sucks and is unhealthy for mind body and spirit. At the same time there is much more potential today for free choice to think and to be who you really want to be. We have much more opportunity to educate ourselves and to improve, but a lot of people find it hard to have that much integrity and humility to stop naval gazing at history and our current dilemma in the modern era to ask themselves where they effed up in life to take responsibility for themselves.
lack of male spaces and the retreat into the anonymity of the internet are missing, imho
HONESTLY.
If you are good looking you can get women being serious and by being completely stupid and jovial. Looks matter so much but guys get defeated when they hear this.
This is what nobody wants to acknowledge: looks are crucial, while personality is secondary.
@@normanosborn1277 so true, and that is what is leaving so many men confused and broken. They are getting lied too. I have friends who bought nice clothes, developed great personality traits, earned great money etc etc etc. But women still didn't want them because of their genetics and looks. This is still happening now 15 years later. They are all depressed and hit 40 plus. Meanwhile I've seen men with shitty traits, no money etc etc get women because they are good looking.
I kinda disagree, if you're an unattractive man, you just need to choose someone in your league. I've seen so many unattractive people and they have partners and almost always, their partner is well within their league. The real lie we've told young men is they need to chase after the beautiful woman. That's what has them confused. I did quite okay when I aimed within my league.
Thats the thing. Money, Looks or Influence. Thats all people care about.
I’m so glad this popped up on my recommended feed. I love seeing people on this platform give genuine and applicable advice to a generation of men that need it more than ever.
Your delivery reflects everything you preach. You delivered an important message with sincerity but did not shy away from adding some zest to keep it engaging.
This is my first viewing of your videos and I know there will be many more.
Truly based.
I'm older than you, and I have extreme height dysphoria/OCD. At 5'9.5" I feel extremely short & ugly and am obsessed with limb lengthening. I've become this tense, unlikable, improvement-obsessed mess, and your video convinced me to change more than any other. I can't stop my obsession or my drive to get limb lengthening, but I can keep it from getting in the way of chilling out & enjoying the moment. Thank You.
Andrew Tate or not, anyone who tries and is rejected shouldn't be mocked.
Yeah i agree. You have to start somewhere. Maybe the stiffness was an act or the result of being nervous. Either way, he gained experience from it. I think us guys could emulate some of the support women provide each other, not criticize any move.
What about rejection makes you exempt from mockery?
It does not make you immune from mockery, but as a society, we should promote understanding between the genders that means being empathetic
That statement is just objectively false. Some people should absolutely be mocked, especially when their behavior is inappropriate or misguided. I don't want to sound like a boomer here, but being able to take mockery in stride is just a good skill to have. As a man myself, when someone mocks me there are only two things that I might think: maybe I deserved to be mocked, or I don't care if I was mocked for that. Anyone following relationship advice from Andrew Tate deserves to be mocked until they realize they were asking for it.
I just do whatever I want. Sure, I don't have many friends and no girl will ever touch me even with a hundred foot pole, but I get to be the person I really am, no need to put on a figurative mask and pretend to be someone I'm not.
Same.
I’m the same but I still don’t let myself be me. Even when I had 0 clue about anything or wasn’t looking to “better” myself, I had more friends, actually spoke to girls and was doing better in school/hobbies. I wouldn’t say I was happier tho, I just distracted myself by doing more things whereas now I’m looking at videos like these to try to think my way out of this cycle I’ve had since covid.
A plant that is nurtured into a mighty oak is no less itself that a shrivaling shrub that got nothing.
stop talking about yourself like this. that’s why no woman would touch you with a 100 foot pole. however a women COULD if you’d stop the shit. own up to your shit and start taking action for your own good. everything else will follow
Keep that thought of girls and i promise you its gonna stay like that brodie, fix that mindset of yours, u still a youngin🙏🏽
Dude your channel is one of the best I've seen in a while. Hoping this channel blows up soon cause young men desperately need this content
My good humour is given (generously) to those worthy of my emotions, to all those who are just plain unlikable or who tax my nerves-
they all get ice cold, businesslike interactions.
Just because I don’t respect someone doesn’t mean I’ll intentionally disrespect them, but it does mean those pleasant little slices of my personality are only for people who reciprocate those emotions
Well put
is that the alberta coa with the dont tread on me snake?
And that's what we in the business call self-respect.
Bro I subscribed within the first 2mins I swear. Your message around being relaxed and honest as opposed to a poser is excellent. Good for you!
Thanks Amrit. Welcome!
me too
what if my sincerity is serious? I honestly don't feel like acting/animating yourself to get likes/approval from others is a sincere way to live.
@@Dimitris_Balf He mentioned that young guys struggle to be themselves - to be real, chill, and not too serious. There's this idea that you have to fit a certain mold to be accepted. But not everyone cares about being super outgoing. I don't want to fake it to fit in. I'd rather just be me, even if that means I'm quiet and not the life of the party. As long as you're a good person, that's what really matters.
@@Dimitris_Balf not everyone cares about being super outgoing. I don't want to fake it to fit in. I'd rather just be me, even if that means I'm quiet and not the life of the party. As long as you're a good person, that's what really matters.
@@Dimitris_Balf People like to Impose their views and mold people to be the way that makes them comfortable. Some people will find it brave and authentic to show extroversion, others will find it naive and brute, it just depends on the culture.
@@Dimitris_Balf If you're living it up with a thrilling lifestyle, surrounded by loads of friends and cash to travel, that's awesome for you, man. But not all of us roll like that. I wish I had genuine friends, but my experience tells me people can be pretty two-faced. Past letdowns have sucked the life out of me to the point where even smiling or making small talk feels alien.
@@loup8109 Hey man, the person above doesn't understand or is being deliberately awkward. Be authentic. Investigate your MBTI type / cognitive functions - it can be a useful tool for understanding why you aren't naturally outgoing and social, and can enlighten you to your innate skills and tendencies. I found it helpful.
i don't watch much self improvement stuff anymore because of how, well, serious they are. These types of videos are so much more calming and I really love and admire your commentary style, playful but still professional. Keep it up man!
Needed this bud, thanks. Been in a rut lately and your video made me realize it's partly because I've been serious about too many things.
This is such a refreshing perspective. Keep doing what you're doing brother, you've earned my sub this day.
Thank you :) It's a pleasure to have you here!
im not going to do that, ill instead rot and lose hope
"'Should' implies social obligation" that hit. Needed to hear it. Thank you brother
Full sending everything all the time every day is unsustainable and you WILL burn yourself out. Take your time if you have that luxury. Life is a marathon not a sprint.
words of wisdom from a young fella, good to see.
World to young men: be yourself, no not like this
Also world to young men: why aren't young men their authentic selves anymore?
Perhaps it is not that young men aren’t “themselves” anymore but more like “themselves” have changed into a more serious misdemeanor due to their experiences in life and relationships.
Being yourself doesn't excuse you from criticism.
it's all genetics
Big mistake for these young men for letting others dictate how they're supposed to live their lives.
@dezalt You say that but being a man at work for 40 hours a week is highly dangerous.
I watched this whole thing, went to click subscribe, and was astonished by the subscriber count considering the quality of the video. You're clearly doing something right! Loved it, and that charisma bit made me laugh
I must say you have exaggerated swagger.
Say the full sentence. Who does he have the exaggerated Swagger of?
nigerian prince
@@CrustaceousB king of the dance floor and girlfriend stealer, thats who
@@imjonathan6745 HAHAHAHA
solid advice. i needed to be reminded to let go of my desperation to succeed or seen to succeed.
Being "unapologetically yourself" and being "notoriously fun" have no particular relationship, however.
In the example of dancing, I could be unapologetically myself by refusing to bother. Or by treating the whole thing as a joke and looking down on the people who care enough to find my disrespect grating. Or by incessantly starting conversations about pole barn construction methodology. Or by flippantly requesting music more to my taste, which is incidentally not appropriate for dancing.
All of these would be purely and utterly sincere. Guileless and authentic in the plainest possible way. They would, however, be at least as far removed from "notoriously fun" as your example of a stiff and serious fellow. And I dare to suggest they would not be regarded as particularly appealing to the fairer sex. I leave it as an exercise to extend much the same reasoning to the board game example, which fares no better I assure you.
The advice to "just be yourself," in all its forms, has been fatally flawed for generations. It assumes that your inherent nature is gregarious, attractive and seductive - thereby, if you just relax and do what is authentic to your personality, your behavior will effortlessly become gregarious, attractive and seductive. But alas, these personality traits come naturally to relatively few people. Many of us struggle with a nature that is anxious, cold, competitive or in a hundred other ways not fit for purpose. Being sincere will counter-productively emphasize these unappealing traits. In your case specifically, being sincere in this video made you come across as vacuous.
nice choice of vocab, i've learned a lot of new words
@@NewelOfKnowledge Proves my point beautifully. Far from fun and charismatic, your impish deflection comes across as arrogant, snide and unaccountable.
@@expressionamidstcacophony390 Yeah no, this guys a douche.
My x lover best friend and baby momma Jennifer Christine lamprecht, Isabelle Christina whomever she is I miss her terribly . I must also apologize to Natasha Pawliuk for breaking my other best friends heart ❤️ , are triangle has left me feeling dread as if both parties are currently in horrible condition and or being abused.
Jennifer Christine lamprecht will always be my baby momma and a true love, Natasha Pawliuk will always be my first real love.
Every day I feel like a spectre splitting into eternity from the book Four Zoas by William Blake, horrible agony as we split into eternity
Very lucky to come upon this.
Thankyou very much.
On the flip side there is also a subset of people who have the problem of being unable to be serious even when it is warranted
This video is exactly what I needed to see
People often tell me that I'm too serious and to be honest, they are right, because it is very difficult for me to let go. However, I invite you all to never forget your seriousness, because it can be very handy in some contexts, like on socials, where it lacks.
So, Newel, thanks a lot for uploading serious content (about not being too serious) on a platform where seriousness got forgotten long time ago.
@Outstanding_Gal Im very serious, I have a lot of fun by myself, learning things and writing. What you unserious people dont get because you value a shallower temporary type of "fun".
@@Dimitris_Balf Wanna learn about the pyramids sometime? 😉
@Outstanding_Gal you flatter me, but Im far from a young man. 😉 It's all about those quiet evenings in
@Outstanding_Gal Oh, I'm capable of it (charm) and I'm not complaining about a lack of success with the ladies. Just the "real me" finds more interest in tough problem solving and ancient mysteries than anything people related. I have a son and I mentor a 15 year old at-risk-youth for connections
@Outstanding_Gal Im working on a metal song inspired by Jenny from The Block, and working on reproducing the hand scanner they used at Area 51 in the 80s from the patent, I know how to have a good time 😘
I get this, in High school, all I ever did was try to become the "man" that attracts everyone. But after the pandemic, and cutting off some toxic individuals that only reinforced this way of thinking, I realized I could be much happier if I enjoyed my true self again.
I did more outside of that phase than I did within (but I do admit, it did help with my social skills since I became bold during that time). After a bad experience in a situationship a year ago or so, I decided to live carefree from expectations.
So, I decided to pursue another love, my love for cars and the art of driving, to improve my current car and learn to improve my driving, even taking my car at some point on a track. I realized I'm more attuned to my steed of a machine than any form of human relationships, nothing but me and the road, the sensation of the car and the asphalt, and beyond close family and friends, my goals are even closer for me achieve, despite the muddy planning for them.
Girls can come after, there are billions of them after all, and I have the time and skill to improve myself, and if I find someone I can mesh well with, there you go, but if not, I'm still okay regardless.
“You must turn your focus, to how complicit you are in the nature of your suffering” - honest and really powerful stuff.
One of the biggest journeys I’ve undertaken in my own life, is one of self discovery and self accountability.
Thanks for this video. I had also realized something similar to this in last few days. I had lived like that serious man for the last 1.5 years. I went into this mode because I thought I will not be able to get a girlfriend. So I started to live "completely" based on how I can be attractive to women and gain status, and had to sort of kill my individualself for this. I became attractive in the beginning, even got an internship ( I am in university) but then this way of living slowly made me more and more miserable to the point I didn't feel like living at all. When I feel like dying, that's when I know something is actually really bad which helped me come out of that state. I had went all in and worked so hard people got scared if they saw how hard I worked. But I still saw some "non serious" people doing better than me with lesser effort, which was confusing
I was able to talk to most people before becoming serious and during this phase , my conversation skills almost completely faded because I couldn't relate.
Thanks for sharing this brother. It’s good you’ve been able to reflect on how the seriousness wasn’t serving you. It’s such a cliche but balance is the key. Wishing you well.
This is absolutely how I feel since the last year as well. I thought that by following the ideologies of "hustle 100%" (I didnt't hustle at all in this period, because I felt drained, I just watched Andrew tate and other garbage Reel content for motivation haha) I will be successful in all the aspects that were lacking in my life. Well at the end that thought process stressed me out to the point of having no appetite. Then all the well-functioning aspects of my life broke down as well. It took some bad trip smoke sessions to realize how bad that thought pattern is (I somehow like bad trip smoke sessions). But it isnt easy to break out of that year long programming and live less seriously and turn off the feeling of obligation that I need to achieve something
Exactly what I was looking for!❤
I'm not gonna lie man this is my first time watching you but this topic feels like it strikes the core of my being.
Sometimes I get caught up in the things you describe and it feels so refreshing hear someone talk about it like you do.
Thank you so much for this king. I'm a confused 20 year old and have been so lost and confused about how to go on about things cause there is so much contradiction in everything but you have given a great perspective on things! Thanks! You're doing good things for people.
Being lighthearted, flirty and carefree has caused women to treat me like a child and friendzone me. That's the last thing I want from someone I fancy. If being seen as cold and stuck up them treat me more like an equal then so be it
There's a difference between funny and goofy. You're conflating the two
Dont be a clown, just be clever.
They're probably just not attracted to you, happens all the time. Most people with a mutual connection just kind of gravitate towards each other
“Friendzone me.” -This is so narcissistic, the fact that you are attracted to female and by being “lighthearted, flirty, and carefree” (bullshit) and she isn’t attracted to you means somehow this is a negative. Just because she doesn’t wanna fuck you doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with the opposite sex. You do realize a girlfriend is also a… friend, right? Do you only care to talk to her because you want your dick to get wet?
“That’s the last thing I want from someone I fancy.” You don’t get what you want therefore will stop being “carefree” and become cold to be taken seriously. You’re a child. Grow up. You’re not carefree or lighthearted a truly carefree person doesn’t need anything from anyone, and definitely doesn’t change their personality once they don’t get what they want from someone.
You sound young and bitter. Women are people, stop seeing them as missions or achievements. If a girl you are attracted to doesn’t wanna pursue you romantically aw well. If you were genuinely yourself you lost nothing. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
Be you, not what you think people will like. When you find traits in yourself that might cause harm or create problems--we all have faults and flaws--work on those things because it will make you the best version of you, not to turn you into something you're not.
As you work on being your best self, people who like you--warts and all--will stick around.
Not always has to do with influence, but rather lived experiences and how youve been treated that can make you learn some harsh lessons and become colder
What you've described is trauma. Go to therapy or talk to someone you love. I'm begging you.
@@lefftee9721 sure, nowadays almost anything is a trauma huh?
Life simply isnt just sunshine and rainbows, its also harsh and nasty and its part of growing up and becoming a mature adult by learning about it and how to deal with it with a stoic mindset
@@diogopereira1475 Why is being stoic a sign of maturity? Surely its more mature to confront and embrace emotional responses than to suppress them.
@@lefftee9721 being overemotional is a sign of immaturity, there's nothing mature about someone who breaks down at every inconvenience in life.
@@borderlands10 Being unable to experience emotion is also a sign of immaturity, or if we need a new word because you don't like that one, over-maturity (I'm making shit up rn) Point is, neither is good.
Emotional maturity is about being able to control your emotions, not letting them control you.
Is killing your emotional response to things not still just letting them control you, in the opposite way?
I'd wager it's worse, you still have biological response to things, but now you don't even know what they are tied to, or why. Because you can't feel the emotions as clearly that would properly let you know of such things.
I used to be the type of person to not get emotional over anything, which is even more alienating than my existence already is.
Now, after working on it, I get emotional more frequently. I'm not sure what the right amount is, and it usually comes up as bad emotions, but I can feel the good emotions much clearer now too. I still haven't been able to experience a lot of them, but that will come with time, a resource that is limited.
Wow, I rarely comment on videos, but I must say that you have just earned a faithful subscriber. Your humor, playfulness, and excellent delivery compliment your terrific outlook and mind. Bravo man, for delivering your thoughts to an audience of young men. It was reassuring and bright listening to this video. Very well done, and thank you. My favorite part was your quick and deadly reaction when you brought up the scenario of dancing with a girl. Hysterical transition.
Seamus, my fine sir, it's a pleasure to have you here. Thanks for commenting :)
Very eloquently put. I still have trouble with letting my desperation for affection push away people I'm interested in (whether friends or people I'm interested in dating), but I try my best to let go and find ways of coping with my anxiety, rather than put that on the person I'm fixated on. Change is not linear. It's messy and stumbling is a part of it, but you will change if you allow it to happen.
Our parents and grandparents just wanted to grill. Unfortunately, it’s time for humanity to get serious now.
True, the hippie talk it's over, Time for the non-serious seriousnes now.
@@gervgal2535 the summer of love is long, long gone. Sht gonna get bad.
As someone who is very serious, this feels both very helpful and not very useful. I like being as serious as I am because I feel as if I am giving things the proper amount of respect. Doing things the right way or following the instructions. I feel as if those who are not serious are just treating life and the lives and situations of those around them, like one big joke.
How can being serious make others uncomfortable? I've never experienced this in my life. The only person I know to have been made uncomfortable by my serious nature is my mother, and I just don't get how that could be the case when my behavior has nothing to do with her or others. This is just who I am. Why would anyone care?
I do recognize that this behavior has caused problems for me in a multitude of ways, however, and I would love to know what can be done to change that.
How do I treat things with the proper respect without acting like this? Why is the fact that I act like this such a major problem for others? Why is being serious seen as such a bad quality, while laughing at absolutely everything as if nothing matters is seen as a social good?
Like you I'm also very serious (bordering autistic levels of seriousness) from my experience it's better to act natural rather than pretend to be something you aren't. If you aren't naturally a certain way, pretending doesn't make it any more convincing. Maybe I'm just a terrible actor. I wouldn't recommend it anyway.
I'm assuming we would have to undergo a slow and long process of changing our personality slowly and with great effort, or wait until someone appreciates you for you, whichever comes first.
You need to act serious in a job interview, weddings or funerals. Forcing seriousness in all other parts of life and you'll just come off extremely unlikaeable. Obviously doing the opposite is also off-putting but you have to find the right balance.
@@anitaremenarova6662 yes, but why? Why does my likeability fall if I'm too serious? Why is seriousness even a factor in someone's likeability? What is this tension people are bringing up that magically comes about when someone has the nerve to take something seriously?
@@devariojohns Because when people are not in work they want to be relaxed and themselves, if they have to walk on eggshells around you then they won't like you since you're tarnishing their free time by forcing them back into the serious act.
@@anitaremenarova6662 That sounds a tad selfish. Like, I cant be around you because I don't want to deal with someone who...wants me to respect their space? I know that's not what you mean, I'm just trying to get the full idea here. Could you give an example of having to walk on eggshells?
One of the best made and well scripted videos I have seen in a while. You are a great communicator. Best of success to you brother and thank you for this message. Going through a breakup right now and definitely feeling a bit too serious myself, so I needed to see your video.
Thank you comrade. I wish you all the best in processing your breakup.
Thank you UA-cam for showing me this. I will try to take note and work on it.
Seriousness is not bad, they're just applying it the wrong way. Seeing seriousness as an expressionless facade or somewhat an external state of being is a very immature view some of these men have. I agree with the things you've said; consider this, when the plus one one in the party was invited, he could be serious about having fun, which is the point of the party, it's not a competitive setting, so he could do things that maximize the fun, including letting himself relax. I guess my point is that they take the meaning of seriousness too on the nose.
I am an introvert, if I just be myself I would never meet women, only do things I want, and spend my life content but feeling half empty. I adopted this thing I call "putting on confidence" where I pretend to myself I that I am this highly confident and capable young man. Works really well, until I inevitably have to drop the mask.
So I cannot "just be yourself" and I cannot just be who I want to be.
I have now been exploring Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life, and Carl Junge's idea of the shadow and persona to see if there is anything of value in there for me.
Nice video, never subscribed to someone talking about masculinity so fast. Very refreshing to see, how calm and collected your approach is👍🏽
I don't feel anything anymore
6:39 “Now imagine you’re about to dance with a woman.” *questioning life
Stumbling upon this gives me a sense of direction in a way. I’m always taking things way too serious and forget the journey I’m on and not enjoying it. A man once said “don’t enjoy life just for the good but enjoy life for the good and bad for it is a beautiful thing”
Wow I'm impressed at the quality of information, delivery and comedic relief. You are good at what you do. This obviously took a lot of effort, and you nailed it.
Life is not a battle you have to win. Life is yours, do what you will. As long as you dont get involved in crimes, you're ok and none shall judge.
This is brilliant mate!
I rarely leave comments but it was so refreshing to hear a message like this. It was exactly what I needed, and judging by the view count, a whole bunch of other people needed it too! 😄 Thanks for this video, sincerely not seriously 😋
Hey man, really good content, love the "don't stay there", was a neat touch.
I see it as basically coming down to learning how to be present, there are areas of our lives where seriousness or "play", lets call, is required in a particular moment and being able to decipher between which is appropriate to act out, I believe to be the essence to solving this. Being present makes this process simpler since we interact with our immediate enviroment without being stuck in our heads. (easier said than done)
3:38 "i would never sit here and... stand here and..." subtle but GOLD
Legs were numb haha
You have earned my sub sir ...keep doing what you do ❤️
It’s a pleasure to have you here comrade. Thank you.
This actually goes so well with the idea of the harder you try the worse it gets, what I have seen in my life is there is no such thing as going in hard, there is something called, "The required amount of effort" for whatever you are trying to achieve. I have seen that more often then not when we try to hard over anything then we get more caught up with our own selves more then the thing which we are trying to achieve or do
As a man who has been too serious his whole life, I appreciate this perspective. I was brought up in a shaming household and learned to be serious as a boy to prevent being shamed and now find it very difficult (and scary) to just "let go".
Why does every movie, show, and journalist that I hate, have a pattern of the same last names, calling for my removal?
Bro what the fuck. Which kind of racism even is this. Are you a nazi or do you hate black people
@@gregothy9190notice how you didn't call him a liar 😂
Because people with a shared belief system, believe it or not, tend to act in similar ways! Andy Steinbergowitz and Jacob Jewinski both get taught the same things about outsiders
@@BlakeKasgaardBAHAHAHA
It’s possible to be serious and sincere in life. Comparison isn’t always good and it isn’t always bad. Balance is key.
The only problem with not being serious is that at some point you may forget to take things seriously that require that seriousness to begin with. Once again, balance.
‘Take the work seriously but not yourself’ - Judi Dench
Needed that, thank men !
6:48 there’s nothing wrong with being tense rigid and stiff as a man.
Hahahaha 😂
Some would say, that’s kind of the ‘point’
I apreciate the synchronization with the theme of seriousness and the charisma and funnes was done beautifully with the skit, breaking up the seriousness with the charisma you wanted to show. i don't know if that made any sense, but this video really made me question some stuff and adopt some new beliefs about life. thank you for the sincere and truthfully made content my guy, I'll be following you because this video really resonated with my ideas, ideals and principles. thank you again, lots of love
I had a feeling this video would be something special when it popped up on my recommended, and I was not disappointed.
I have never needed to see a video more in my life. Brilliant.
🫶🏻💪🏻
I am a firm believer that if you are attractive enough, women will ignore your personality "issues."
Yes, however, it goes both ways. In fact, I'd wager the bar is measurably lower for guys, lol.
But what about 3 to 5 years down the line?
@user-ji5bd6pc6k the cycle of abuse continues, in perpetuity
@@user-ji5bd6pc6k I never said you should be a complete loser and exclusively "looks-max," but women's preferences almost always become more reasonable around attractive men.
Stumbled upon this video randomly, Great delivery! subscribed
One thing that I have been suffering with for around two years now is that every time I feel emotion, particularly happiness, I keep asking myself if that emotion is real, if I truly feel happy. I don't understand it. I want to just not think about it, I want to just be happy and enjoy the moment. Why is my awareness of my consciousness so large, that it becomes a burden on my wellbeing?
Modern women gives mixed signals like she's interested and seems not. Gotta be careful with them cause It's hard being accused with crimes
Nice! I see tons of self improvement channels just vomiting the exact same thing over and over, it's nice to see considerations that I've never seen, a breath of fresh air
Thanks John! I appreciate it :)
My x lover best friend and baby momma Jennifer Christine lamprecht, Isabelle Christina whomever she is I miss her terribly . I must also apologize to Natasha Pawliuk for breaking my other best friends heart ❤️ , are triangle has left me feeling dread as if both parties are currently in horrible condition and or being abused.
Jennifer Christine lamprecht will always be my baby momma and a true love, Natasha Pawliuk will always be my first real love.
Every day I feel like a spectre splitting into eternity from the book Four Zoas by William Blake, horrible agony as we split into eternity
I really never post comments under any yt video I watch but after watch your video (this being the first of many I will watch in the future), I kinda sorta felt that I finally found the content I want to watch with the exact way I wanted it to be made? (I don't know if thats the right word or not). I really liked how short this video was but at the same time how smooth and laid back the phasing was (again I'm not sure if I used those words correctly but you get my point). Anyways this was a really really REALLY good video, keep it up!!
Man you do not know how much it brightend my day and got me out of my own head. Tomorrow will be an added bonus. Thank you so much for this perspektiv.
Sincerly
a troubeld young man
My problem with people who interact with the world trying to live everyday like they are dying: this perspective gives said person a reason to justify screwing someone else over because "it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, we're all going to die." Meanwhile, you've shirked responsibility and the consequence is that another person has to clean up your mess or deal with the thing you were too busy not taking seriously to deal with yourself. And I'm not talking about major events or anything, I'm talking about mundane, everyday unimportant things that become problems when they are neglected, or even just doing your job to the best it can possibly be done.
Everything is problematic when taken to extremes.
Omg. If I was a young man in 2024 I wouldn’t even bother trying at all. It’s all so lame.
Lot of great things to take from this. Its great to find someone put into words what I have been trying to explain to myself for a while.
Thank you.
Confusion Arises because we don’t feel them to their depth. Best lesson in this video
Hm... maybe he didn't approach it right, but I'd still give him points for trying. :) We don't know what the man's been through so we cannot judge his actions. Maybe he's just unlucky that day.
The biggest barrier to connection is a feeling of danger. Women are a lot more suspicious than men because they are vulnerable to abuse. Your colleague must've been caught off-guard not only because he was so serious, but because it was a very unusual encounter. This may have gone down differently if she was at a party and the man was introduced to her via another friend. I suspect those circumstances would've been a lot more favourable to him.
It's difficult being a man. He is taught that he is supposed to be strong and stoic and suffer quietly. But if he acts that way, he becomes invisible to most women. But if he shows too much interest or emotions when pursuing a woman, he is seen as desperate or clingy.
@@nerychristian yeah, it's tough for all of us. Men worry about rejection, women worry about violence. There is a happy medium in there somewhere.
And why should I smile?
Good question. I’m no longer being a fool for these people. Smiling puppy dog is what they want for a relationship unless you’re chad or Tyrone then you can be serious and get whatever you want.
You don't need to smile, you need to be yourself, your _true _ yourself
@@Trisk4yMy true self is being serious and having dark humor, not being a drooling, smiley soyboy like the archetype promoted in this video.
@@normanosborn1277 Yes, some people are like that. No need to really change. he does not understand that his message encompassess some men who are just not like that. some personality type or men do not like to smile and are generally serious which is not a bad thing and actually comes with a lot of deeper or unique qualities.
Not everyone needs to be a laughing clown, and I say that as a person who laugh and joke around a lot though I only do this to get along and use it as a way to diverse from how I actually think about people and things at time.
I found that pursuing your passion will put you around people who are also passionate about that (or at least a few that aren't just their to vover their rent)
And thats how you find love.
Definitely subbed for this, struggling right now and im praying that it will get better
Wishing you all the best my friend.
Dont listen to him, he wants you to stop on your way to become a sigma
*reads this while mewing
The problem with this advice is that everyone and everything is actively hostile to me and my "true self". I am guarded because I have to be; its a necessary survival tactic.
Literally no one is out to get you. Let yourself go a little bit. Also consider why they might feel this way (if your views are hateful don't expect to be loved).
@@lefftee9721 Not saying the original guy is, but it can happen with neurodivergent people.
The whole world pretty much IS out to get them, unless they find like-minded people. Not sure how hard that is, I don't have the issue.
Just in general, if you aren't like most people, whether its because of neurodivergence or just a strange quirk, you will be punished for showing it outwardly by society.