Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts! If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited). At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not! Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP155DS Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Sorry about the mold and hope vacation was good man. How crazy that a video on FAE bias is out after really diving into your videos and literally dissecting these the last month. I been talking about FAE bias to so many and I am surprised so many REFUSE to accept that it isn’t a character problem. When blind to it, I have to say it was near impossible to understand that the environment is influencing the actions of others. I like your program cause I am literally feeling mental clarity and see the difference in day to day interactions. As for my partner…she is texting in paragraphs again and describing her day, sending me pictures of our daughter, etc. you know Geoffrey….you got something amazing here.
Appreciate the thought! Vacation was very nice :) Falling for FAE Bias is one of the fastest ways to destroy hope in your relationship. When you focus on creating an amazing environment, then you'd be SHOCKED at how well your partner responds. Keep REFUSING to blame character, and keep embracing solutions based on maximizing the safety of your environment! Would love to hear your full thoughts on the video after you finish it!
Had time to start it. Genius in the first 20. I am sure you address it but had to comment how intriguing it is to understand that to find the needed solution when bias is still involved is impossible. It technical causes you to have a missing rear view mirror (bling spot) with no way to get a sensor on what you’re missing I’ll finish it tonight
I think there's a metaphor there for FAE and mold. FAE can be like mold. Small leaks create mold which creates bigger problems that can fester if not uncovered and be incredibly difficult/expensive to repair and fix. Similar thing with FAE, no?
It is. Similar to all the mind viruses to be honest, which goes back to why this has to be a lifestyle as to ensure less blind spots and really see/feel/understand all perspectives
This comment is off topic of this video but I just wanted to let you know the other day my wife told me a hard truth abt seeing someone else… I was happy tht she told me and felt safe enough to tell me. I wasn’t mad abt it either I understood why and still focusing on the process to make things work out. Hopefully we can make things work tho but if not at least I’ve grown as a person. Thank you for your videos I probably would be crying my eyes out everyday if it wasn’t for your videos.
@@luisenamorado2703 my guy I’m not happy abt her talkin to someone else I’m happy tht she told me… the fax of her tellin me lets me know tht she is emotionally safe to talk to me abt it…U can see it as weakness but I see it as strength to endure any hard truths or anything tht comes my way. All abt perspective
Keep at it friend. That is one of many key moments where you get to shine and show her changes. It is a tougher road short term, but the easier path long term.
Okay spoke to her today. The resistance went up 10x from last week where we had a great conversation. I didn't back down, listened, understood, and ensured I got her emotions right. It was a win today, more for the process and myself than worrying if it moved forward between the two of us. She finally stated that I don't get to hear her feelings anymore, and wanted to know why I ask what she is feeling. I held strong turning negative into positive (I need practice here) and she told me some of her emotions at the end. She showed curiosity in what I was trying to learn for the first time. Now i am curious on how to dance around this more next time. I find that there are definitely parts I could've improved on despite her laughing and asking me if I have been going out.
Gold as always . One thing I think about is that all of us here watching this video want to put effort into our relationship because we really love our partners that directly means that at one point they were “worthy” of the love otherwise that love would never have developed that literally shows you that your partner has the potential and is just a victim of the environment. We were victims of the environment too but we got lucky enough to stumble onto this channel that shined the light for us on many of our blind spots otherwise we would be stuck in the forever loop . So now it’s upto us to change that environment for the better .
Geoffrey. Sorry, for the mold and it's though inspiring to see how you seem to handle it. You seem so calm about it and this shows how your work can have immense life-changing benefits in all areas. Regarding the FAE bias, I came here to see how to influence someone in my life and Now I'm starting to get influenced and realize I need to work on my own FAE :) KEEP ON PRODUCING THESE VIDEOS. I subscribed and I can not wait to see the next video.
Thanks Geoff! Another gem. Last week I was watching the long form videos for the first time and I realised that FAE bias is the weakest layer of the BPV for me. I can name a hundred different ways that i used this to fuck things up over the years. This more in depth video is also quite helpful. Thank you for this! Can you give some tips on how to identify blind spots faster?
Thanks for continuing to create this in depth series for us. Also hope you had a fun vacation and I like how you used your mold problem to paint the picture of how something that seems small can turn into a bigger problem if gone unnoticed. (Death by a thousand cuts.) My key takeaway from this week’s video in high level terms is “how to understand our partners intentions instead of assuming”. The FAE Bias mind virus prevents us from understanding our partners intentions because we tend immediately attribute a character issue when most of the time it is simply an environmental issue. Once we can identify how we helped to create a toxic environment, then we can fix that by creating a healthy environment where it will be easy to share our thoughts and feelings about anything. It is important to remember that it should not be “me vs. my partner”, instead it should be “me and my partner vs the problems”. Then and only then will it be possible to nourish a thriving relationship.
Thanks for these more in depth videos. Your quote on being quick to understand others' intentions and slow to explain yours, sums it up very well. Easy to say, but hard to actually do in the moment!
Thinking on my past. I did so wrong with a lot a stuff. Watching Geoffrey`s videos over and over again and I realize that I was blind, and I felt in all of these traps you can imagen. And not even knowing is for me the hardest part. But watching Geoffrey`s videos help me a lot to review my behavior and my thinking and my past assumptions to direct myself away from my old self.
A couple early takeaways: I always blamed myself for what went wrong in our marriage. I had the anger. I had the wrong skills. I did things wrong. Two, this concept of FAE Bias is why, and I finally understand now why Geoffrey says it this way, you cannot SOLVE a problem with the same bias and knowledge that CREATED the problem.
Done. Okay so this made me think a lot about my spouse and her actions, her past, and where I applied FA bias. Although for the past month I have made sure to show understanding and caught myself before that ignorance developed, I feel as if I need to address some of these with her. My last version of “campaigning” got a positive conversation so I will spend a couple weeks deeply thinking on this
Thank you Geoffrey for your another video. Very informative and helpful! I have to ask you few questions though - What will be the processes to focus apart from creating safety and untethering ? To put my question in different way - what are the processes to build, in order to create goal alignment, mutual admiration and sexual passion? Are the processes the same bound to creating safety ? As well one more question going around my head is - how to differentiate going too much soft and asserting your own wants? More like how to get to the noble selfishness ?
Excellent questions! Those will be addressed in my upcoming series on the Frameworks. You will see how the internal shifts plays a massive part in being able to assert your wants from a balanced sense of power :) Stay tuned!
Hi. I found out about your work like 1 week ago and consumed like every video. My girlfriend of 5 yrs left cause she has no feelings for me anymore. She told me she was unhappy like 3 months ago and I made every mistake possible which u described perfectly. We had 2 long talks since she left and I am convinced your approach is working. However I treated her really bad in the past. Was incredible controlling and dominant, I decided literally everything. She had panic attacks and was depressed 1 year ago but thankfully healed from it after therapy and medical treatment. Right now I hate myself for it because I started to realize when she wanted to leave. Do you think every emotional package ist possible to heal? Or are there limits for example after abuse?
I can relate what you described. It looks like me, also controlling and dominant. My wife had also panic attacks and the stupid part of this when it happened: what is wrong with her? Not even knowing that I was the cause. I was creating a lot of stress in the environment.
Jeff, she just sat me down today and told me she met someone else. She wouldn't let me hold her hand or talk to her she just wanted to tell me that and leave. I thought we've been doing better we have been talking hanging out. I miss my partner so much I don't want to give up 6 years basically 7 now but the last year we haven't been intimate or even calling ourselves a couple anymore. What do I do? I feel like I have changed so much in the past couple months and she recognizes it but still wants someone else.
Geoffrey how big of a correlation do you think insecurities and low self esteem would have with this concept , in my understanding if a situation would involve something u are insecure about deeply then you would immediately jump into defense mode and carry out some sort of survival mechanism that would harm safety . But I guess this is where SOC really comes in handy too to catch urself while you’re in it and distance yourself from those thoughts and feelings and just observe them and then shift them . Let me know your thoughts please
we are in no contact for almost 4 years now. and she has someone new already & seems theyre relationship getting stronger introducing to family etc.. how can ths be turned around still?
Simple. Make the internal shifts -> So you can master the frameworks -> So that you can master the 5 pillars to begin leading the positive changes in your relationship. We have 100+ success interview published, all from people in "unique" circumstances... ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html But no matter how "unique" they think their situation is - Their case have the same diagnosis... (Broken 5 pillars, don't know how to lead interactions, and bad internals...) And they all followed the exact same path to reconciliation. You'll need to as well! But if you want to insist that your situation is too dire or too unique, despite our 100+ success stories, then how can anyone help you?
Listen to these guys on this. I am not in the program and was doubtful but just by intensely following here and really studying those success stories have I made progress. It’s like the first time in months where I was able to start building emotional safety. And you do sound tethered, so start there. Work on you and internal shifts along with the big 14. Make the actual auto suggestions (recording on The phone worked edit me). Don’t worry about what she is doing do what you need to be doing. Honestly it’s too much to type in a comment I see why he makes hundreds of videos
That's why it's so critical to be untethered from the outcome, my guy. It's not about the 99 things you do RIGHT when things are easy, it's about the 1 thing you do WRONG when things are hard. That is the TRUE test. Your partner will keep testing you and keep taking away all hope to see whether your changes are REAL. So, will you double down on creating IRREPLACEABLE changes when the outcome gets taken away from you? Or, will you give up and prove to your partner that she was right to doubt you? Here's a success story I think you'll enjoy: ua-cam.com/video/PQWEh5bYmJ8/v-deo.html
Keep focusing on becoming irreplaceable and your success with your partner is just a matter of time. Make sure you're avoiding the common pitfall of chimpanzeeing to other outcomes! More about this here: ua-cam.com/video/yIrC3Y-kvAI/v-deo.html
Hey guys, hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts!
If you’d like to see if our program would be a good fit for you & what you NEED, be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited).
At the end of this masterclass, we will provide you instructions on how to apply for the program, and we will be able to honestly inform you if the program would be a good fit for you, or not!
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! → urlgeni.us/MCEP155DS
Download the FREE GUIDE! → relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
Sorry about the mold and hope vacation was good man.
How crazy that a video on FAE bias is out after really diving into your videos and literally dissecting these the last month. I been talking about FAE bias to so many and I am surprised so many REFUSE to accept that it isn’t a character problem. When blind to it, I have to say it was near impossible to understand that the environment is influencing the actions of others.
I like your program cause I am literally feeling mental clarity and see the difference in day to day interactions.
As for my partner…she is texting in paragraphs again and describing her day, sending me pictures of our daughter, etc. you know Geoffrey….you got something amazing here.
Appreciate the thought! Vacation was very nice :)
Falling for FAE Bias is one of the fastest ways to destroy hope in your relationship.
When you focus on creating an amazing environment, then you'd be SHOCKED at how well your partner responds. Keep REFUSING to blame character, and keep embracing solutions based on maximizing the safety of your environment!
Would love to hear your full thoughts on the video after you finish it!
Had time to start it. Genius in the first 20. I am sure you address it but had to comment how intriguing it is to understand that to find the needed solution when bias is still involved is impossible. It technical causes you to have a missing rear view mirror (bling spot) with no way to get a sensor on what you’re missing
I’ll finish it tonight
I think there's a metaphor there for FAE and mold. FAE can be like mold. Small leaks create mold which creates bigger problems that can fester if not uncovered and be incredibly difficult/expensive to repair and fix. Similar thing with FAE, no?
It is. Similar to all the mind viruses to be honest, which goes back to why this has to be a lifestyle as to ensure less blind spots and really see/feel/understand all perspectives
This comment is off topic of this video but I just wanted to let you know the other day my wife told me a hard truth abt seeing someone else… I was happy tht she told me and felt safe enough to tell me. I wasn’t mad abt it either I understood why and still focusing on the process to make things work out. Hopefully we can make things work tho but if not at least I’ve grown as a person. Thank you for your videos I probably would be crying my eyes out everyday if it wasn’t for your videos.
My friend she is cheating on you and you are happy about it. Grow a backbone
@@luisenamorado2703 my guy I’m not happy abt her talkin to someone else I’m happy tht she told me… the fax of her tellin me lets me know tht she is emotionally safe to talk to me abt it…U can see it as weakness but I see it as strength to endure any hard truths or anything tht comes my way. All abt perspective
Keep at it friend. That is one of many key moments where you get to shine and show her changes. It is a tougher road short term, but the easier path long term.
Okay spoke to her today. The resistance went up 10x from last week where we had a great conversation. I didn't back down, listened, understood, and ensured I got her emotions right. It was a win today, more for the process and myself than worrying if it moved forward between the two of us. She finally stated that I don't get to hear her feelings anymore, and wanted to know why I ask what she is feeling. I held strong turning negative into positive (I need practice here) and she told me some of her emotions at the end.
She showed curiosity in what I was trying to learn for the first time. Now i am curious on how to dance around this more next time. I find that there are definitely parts I could've improved on despite her laughing and asking me if I have been going out.
Gold as always . One thing I think about is that all of us here watching this video want to put effort into our relationship because we really love our partners that directly means that at one point they were “worthy” of the love otherwise that love would never have developed that literally shows you that your partner has the potential and is just a victim of the environment. We were victims of the environment too but we got lucky enough to stumble onto this channel that shined the light for us on many of our blind spots otherwise we would be stuck in the forever loop . So now it’s upto us to change that environment for the better .
Geoffrey. Sorry, for the mold and it's though inspiring to see how you seem to handle it. You seem so calm about it and this shows how your work can have immense life-changing benefits in all areas.
Regarding the FAE bias, I came here to see how to influence someone in my life and Now I'm starting to get influenced and realize I need to work on my own FAE :)
KEEP ON PRODUCING THESE VIDEOS. I subscribed and I can not wait to see the next video.
Thanks Geoff!
Another gem. Last week I was watching the long form videos for the first time and I realised that FAE bias is the weakest layer of the BPV for me. I can name a hundred different ways that i used this to fuck things up over the years. This more in depth video is also quite helpful. Thank you for this!
Can you give some tips on how to identify blind spots faster?
Thanks for continuing to create this in depth series for us. Also hope you had a fun vacation and I like how you used your mold problem to paint the picture of how something that seems small can turn into a bigger problem if gone unnoticed. (Death by a thousand cuts.)
My key takeaway from this week’s video in high level terms is “how to understand our partners intentions instead of assuming”. The FAE Bias mind virus prevents us from understanding our partners intentions because we tend immediately attribute a character issue when most of the time it is simply an environmental issue. Once we can identify how we helped to create a toxic environment, then we can fix that by creating a healthy environment where it will be easy to share our thoughts and feelings about anything.
It is important to remember that it should not be “me vs. my partner”, instead it should be “me and my partner vs the problems”. Then and only then will it be possible to nourish a thriving relationship.
Thanks for these more in depth videos.
Your quote on being quick to understand others' intentions and slow to explain yours, sums it up very well. Easy to say, but hard to actually do in the moment!
Thinking on my past. I did so wrong with a lot a stuff. Watching Geoffrey`s videos over and over again and I realize that I was blind, and I felt in all of these traps you can imagen. And not even knowing is for me the hardest part. But watching Geoffrey`s videos help me a lot to review my behavior and my thinking and my past assumptions to direct myself away from my old self.
Thanks for posting these videos Geoffrey You, the man you help me a lot over the years
A couple early takeaways:
I always blamed myself for what went wrong in our marriage. I had the anger. I had the wrong skills. I did things wrong.
Two, this concept of FAE Bias is why, and I finally understand now why Geoffrey says it this way, you cannot SOLVE a problem with the same bias and knowledge that CREATED the problem.
Done. Okay so this made me think a lot about my spouse and her actions, her past, and where I applied FA bias. Although for the past month I have made sure to show understanding and caught myself before that ignorance developed, I feel as if I need to address some of these with her.
My last version of “campaigning” got a positive conversation so I will spend a couple weeks deeply thinking on this
Thank you Geoffrey for your another video. Very informative and helpful!
I have to ask you few questions though - What will be the processes to focus apart from creating safety and untethering ? To put my question in different way - what are the processes to build, in order to create goal alignment, mutual admiration and sexual passion? Are the processes the same bound to creating safety ?
As well one more question going around my head is - how to differentiate going too much soft and asserting your own wants? More like how to get to the noble selfishness ?
Excellent questions!
Those will be addressed in my upcoming series on the Frameworks. You will see how the internal shifts plays a massive part in being able to assert your wants from a balanced sense of power :)
Stay tuned!
@@GeoffreySetiawan CAn not wait to see these videos :)
God please bless and restore my marriage 🙏
Hi. I found out about your work like 1 week ago and consumed like every video. My girlfriend of 5 yrs left cause she has no feelings for me anymore. She told me she was unhappy like 3 months ago and I made every mistake possible which u described perfectly. We had 2 long talks since she left and I am convinced your approach is working. However I treated her really bad in the past. Was incredible controlling and dominant, I decided literally everything. She had panic attacks and was depressed 1 year ago but thankfully healed from it after therapy and medical treatment. Right now I hate myself for it because I started to realize when she wanted to leave. Do you think every emotional package ist possible to heal? Or are there limits for example after abuse?
I can relate what you described. It looks like me, also controlling and dominant. My wife had also panic attacks and the stupid part of this when it happened: what is wrong with her? Not even knowing that I was the cause. I was creating a lot of stress in the environment.
Jeff, she just sat me down today and told me she met someone else. She wouldn't let me hold her hand or talk to her she just wanted to tell me that and leave. I thought we've been doing better we have been talking hanging out. I miss my partner so much I don't want to give up 6 years basically 7 now but the last year we haven't been intimate or even calling ourselves a couple anymore. What do I do? I feel like I have changed so much in the past couple months and she recognizes it but still wants someone else.
Geoffrey how big of a correlation do you think insecurities and low self esteem would have with this concept , in my understanding if a situation would involve something u are insecure about deeply then you would immediately jump into defense mode and carry out some sort of survival mechanism that would harm safety . But I guess this is where SOC really comes in handy too to catch urself while you’re in it and distance yourself from those thoughts and feelings and just observe them and then shift them . Let me know your thoughts please
we are in no contact for almost 4 years now. and she has someone new already & seems theyre relationship getting stronger introducing to family etc.. how can ths be turned around still?
No matter what situation you are in, you have to untether yourself, focusing on your internal shifts. Good luck on your path of change )
Simple.
Make the internal shifts -> So you can master the frameworks -> So that you can master the 5 pillars to begin leading the positive changes in your relationship.
We have 100+ success interview published, all from people in "unique" circumstances...
ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
But no matter how "unique" they think their situation is - Their case have the same diagnosis... (Broken 5 pillars, don't know how to lead interactions, and bad internals...)
And they all followed the exact same path to reconciliation.
You'll need to as well!
But if you want to insist that your situation is too dire or too unique, despite our 100+ success stories, then how can anyone help you?
Listen to these guys on this. I am not in the program and was doubtful but just by intensely following here and really studying those success stories have I made progress.
It’s like the first time in months where I was able to start building emotional safety. And you do sound tethered, so start there. Work on you and internal shifts along with the big 14. Make the actual auto suggestions (recording on The phone worked edit me). Don’t worry about what she is doing do what you need to be doing. Honestly it’s too much to type in a comment I see why he makes hundreds of videos
4 years? My frriend you should finally move on.
Hey Geoffrey the things you're saying worked but my attitude distorted what was building signed divorce paperwork and she sent ack to her attorney 😢
That's why it's so critical to be untethered from the outcome, my guy.
It's not about the 99 things you do RIGHT when things are easy, it's about the 1 thing you do WRONG when things are hard. That is the TRUE test.
Your partner will keep testing you and keep taking away all hope to see whether your changes are REAL.
So, will you double down on creating IRREPLACEABLE changes when the outcome gets taken away from you?
Or, will you give up and prove to your partner that she was right to doubt you?
Here's a success story I think you'll enjoy:
ua-cam.com/video/PQWEh5bYmJ8/v-deo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan now I have to focus on me , and learn something new since I did this marriage wrong
Keep focusing on becoming irreplaceable and your success with your partner is just a matter of time. Make sure you're avoiding the common pitfall of chimpanzeeing to other outcomes!
More about this here:
ua-cam.com/video/yIrC3Y-kvAI/v-deo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan true have been in the house with my son and her for about to yrs I'll look at the video
@@GeoffreySetiawan meant been out the house for 2yrs