Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff In 11,680th Day

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  • Опубліковано 7 лип 2008
  • The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 3 тис.

  • @Pizzachu1
    @Pizzachu1 14 років тому +10459

    "STAKES RISING AS MORE POTENTIAL VICTIMS ARE BORN EACH YEAR"

    • @krishnadevkoloth
      @krishnadevkoloth 4 роки тому +126

      Your comment is still relevant

    • @as72333
      @as72333 4 роки тому +56

      @@krishnadevkoloth this is not a comment just copy paste of the headline shown in the video

    • @Jake-nq8kp
      @Jake-nq8kp 4 роки тому +27

      Wow. A 10 year old comment.

    • @herbertalves8045
      @herbertalves8045 4 роки тому +31

      @@Jake-nq8kp you mean, a 3650 day old comment

    • @kelvinpang438
      @kelvinpang438 4 роки тому +4

      @@herbertalves8045 *3653

  • @Harishimomo
    @Harishimomo 6 років тому +19729

    10 years later still relevant

    • @baburao87
      @baburao87 5 років тому +476

      That's the tragedy of it. It most likely be relevant 10 years from now as well.

    • @HypermarketCommodity
      @HypermarketCommodity 4 роки тому +43

      Best summary there is

    • @microRiZu
      @microRiZu 4 роки тому +22

      @@baburao87 Indeed lol

    • @phos4680
      @phos4680 4 роки тому +48

      @@baburao87 been relevant since seperation

    • @theblancmange1265
      @theblancmange1265 4 роки тому +38

      Only a few days until India becomes a superpower and wins.

  • @mrniceguy7168
    @mrniceguy7168 4 роки тому +12798

    I legit spit out my food when he suggested shifting tectonic plates as the peaceful solution

    • @kingspammernerd
      @kingspammernerd 4 роки тому +48

      @Ezio Auditore Unless we invade Pakistan. After all, they are home to a number of terrorist groups, many of whom are responsible for attacking us from the northwest and being a PITA in general.

    • @OwO-de4pl
      @OwO-de4pl 4 роки тому +337

      @@kingspammernerd wow.. you seriously dont get it

    • @user-lf8qu9un8y
      @user-lf8qu9un8y 4 роки тому +196

      @@kingspammernerd And have you considered a peaceful solution?

    • @phoenix4977
      @phoenix4977 4 роки тому +38

      @Mansoor Ahmed Yeah about that, if you chaps stopped wasting our tax payer money by blowing up extremely valuable planes to shoot down shitty planes that cost significantly less it would be appreciated and for all that is holy on God's green earth, are you a nutjob? WHO IN THE WORLD BRAGS ABOUT DOWNING A MiG WHILST LOSING AN F-16?! Does the little nut that you call a brain even understand the sheer difference between those planes? Once again, STOP. WASTING. OUR. AID.

    • @phoenix4977
      @phoenix4977 4 роки тому +40

      @@mickterror-hp4xx ...I am not Indian.

  • @athingwhichexists
    @athingwhichexists 4 роки тому +6073

    2020: Pakistan gets jealous as India begins having standoff with China

    • @TathD
      @TathD 4 роки тому +739

      Top 10 anime betrayals

    • @ShivanshTiwari
      @ShivanshTiwari 4 роки тому +51

      lol

    • @ShinigamiInuyasha777
      @ShinigamiInuyasha777 4 роки тому +586

      "I loved you India, you were my enemy. But now, you've become just another Tibet"

    • @Ahmed-ii7up
      @Ahmed-ii7up 4 роки тому +11

      Hahaahwhah

    • @Ahmed-ii7up
      @Ahmed-ii7up 4 роки тому +345

      India is cheating on Pakistan

  • @johnmeltineau5559
    @johnmeltineau5559 11 років тому +6282

    In 5 billion years, the Sun will become a red giant and consume all the planets, so that should solve the issue

    • @roddydykes7053
      @roddydykes7053 6 років тому +16

      Vitaliy Markov lol!

    • @J7Handle
      @J7Handle 5 років тому +429

      Unfortunately, not all the planets. India and Pakistan will move their borders to Mars which won't be consumed and all the gods help us if they still share a border at that point. We may see India and Pakistan remain in this conflict for the next trillion years at this rate.

    • @0Clewi0
      @0Clewi0 5 років тому +82

      Actually it will only consume mercury and venus, but the heat will evaporate all water in earth

    • @ummmhelp
      @ummmhelp 4 роки тому +19

      Don't worry it won't take that long give it about 100 years when america collapses and they decide to nuke e everyone else before collapsing.

    • @hmk1635
      @hmk1635 4 роки тому +46

      @@0Clewi0 Then India and Pakistan will have a larger land border. Escalating the conflict.

  • @xanderlowe1543
    @xanderlowe1543 6 років тому +12925

    "Mostly by growing old and dying, Andria."
    That line took me off guard laughing.

    • @NikeaTiber
      @NikeaTiber 4 роки тому +82

      Solid freaking gold, I had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard.

    • @cipher1579
      @cipher1579 4 роки тому +13

      read this comment exactly when he said that

    • @neil532gamingneil532gaming
      @neil532gamingneil532gaming 4 роки тому +4

      Same

    • @davidec.4021
      @davidec.4021 3 роки тому +6

      Same lmao was looking for this comment

    • @rodger3352
      @rodger3352 3 роки тому +1

      Xddddddd

  • @ShiftyGeeza
    @ShiftyGeeza 4 роки тому +2481

    "Warheads could be launched at any moment if they have not rusted"

    • @arhumzia6360
      @arhumzia6360 3 роки тому +40

      Pov: they are not rusted

    • @Lucas_Simoni
      @Lucas_Simoni Рік тому

      We gotta use 'em cos it will expire soon. What a waste of a perfectly good nuclear arsenal, what a shame to waste billions if not trillions if taxpayer dollars, letting it expire and have to dump it all over the ocean all of that perfectly fine highly concentrated radioactive isotopes.

    • @randomka-52alligatorthatis34
      @randomka-52alligatorthatis34 Рік тому +2

      They'll just replace them with new ones lol

  • @PanzerMan332
    @PanzerMan332 4 роки тому +9341

    "A paramedic happened to be nearby who treated me, she later became my wife, we now have two beautiful children".
    Weirdly heartwarming.

    • @Superbl0bby
      @Superbl0bby 4 роки тому +416

      Panzer Man I love how he says that in such a news reporter-y voice

    • @crab_computer
      @crab_computer 4 роки тому +91

      they fucked

    • @skeetrix5577
      @skeetrix5577 4 роки тому +80

      @@crab_computer nah, really?

    • @ariadnegmusdaedaloximo708
      @ariadnegmusdaedaloximo708 4 роки тому +137

      Don't know why I read that "paramedic" as "pandemic".

    • @aakarshasoka6335
      @aakarshasoka6335 4 роки тому +117

      @@ariadnegmusdaedaloximo708 Its getting to all of us, friend.

  • @undertyped1
    @undertyped1 7 років тому +10974

    How dare you make light of this subject onion. My grandfather died in that conflict! He was only 95 years old! and died from a heart attack.

    • @dannypang5348
      @dannypang5348 5 років тому +142

      haahhahahaha

    • @elijahaha2497
      @elijahaha2497 4 роки тому +81

      Bruh you probably laugh at every other video they make where they poke fun at serious issues. It’s just comedy. It’s all fun and games until they make fun of a subject you actually care about

    • @DG_SA
      @DG_SA 4 роки тому +418

      @@elijahaha2497 you mad?

    • @elijahaha2497
      @elijahaha2497 4 роки тому +13

      David González nah man. It’s chill up in here

    • @elijahaha2497
      @elijahaha2497 4 роки тому +10

      David González I swear officer I don’t have any narcotics

  • @TheWebsOfCorruptionNeverFail
    @TheWebsOfCorruptionNeverFail 4 роки тому +6324

    Over a decade later, sitting in India in 2020 and the onion is still relevant as ever. Infact if they made another report then I'd be only interested to know wheater the reporter's kids went to college or not.

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 4 роки тому +64

      They sure will be - or the US of A would make sure "there'll be heck to pay"!

    • @himanshusingh5214
      @himanshusingh5214 4 роки тому +159

      They are in huge student debt now.

    • @wolfpack444
      @wolfpack444 4 роки тому +89

      They joined the military and are now at the border. They get to see their daddy from time to time. So that's nice ...

    • @WheelOfThought
      @WheelOfThought 3 роки тому +14

      If it was a Guy surely did. If it was a girl probably got shot in the head. 🙄 If survived *nOBEL cONfirMED*

    • @sailaab
      @sailaab 3 роки тому +1

      BIBHASH MANDAL... mahahalala

  • @chrisahearn789
    @chrisahearn789 4 роки тому +1603

    11680 divided into years equals 32 years
    32 years from 2008 would have been 1976, around the same time India first tested nukes and Pakistan started developing their own. The chronological accuracy makes it all the funnier, despite them flubbing a bit when it came to the amount of time between Indian independence and when the video was first uploaded

    • @martinhawes5647
      @martinhawes5647 2 роки тому +110

      Probably because the videos were not on UA-cam originally

    • @annoyedcat2602
      @annoyedcat2602 Рік тому +15

      1974 to be accurate . India tested it's first nuke.

    • @abhinavchoudhury7000
      @abhinavchoudhury7000 Рік тому

      Bush was president from 89-93 they are clearly doing American maths

    • @NoHomerS
      @NoHomerS Рік тому +5

      Thank you for the extra context.

  • @mudassirkamal5289
    @mudassirkamal5289 5 років тому +2168

    Wow! I am pretty sure the onion has a time machine. These videos are aging like fine wine.

    • @manoxgarg
      @manoxgarg 4 роки тому +9

      Dil ki baat keh diya bhai 🤣 Truly aging like fine wine 🍷

    • @seankrkovich2869
      @seankrkovich2869 3 роки тому +13

      As they have been decades before the onion made the video

    • @otakuhunter4817
      @otakuhunter4817 3 роки тому +1

      kinda No..The previous decade and a half have a much peaceful track record than 70s - early 2k's

  • @BeatleSoph
    @BeatleSoph 16 років тому +2042

    "how are they coping?"
    "mostly by growing old and dying"
    *loool*

    • @SiisKolkytEuroo
      @SiisKolkytEuroo 4 роки тому +8

      looool

    • @arjunsatheesh7609
      @arjunsatheesh7609 4 роки тому +43

      @@SiisKolkytEuroo This comment was from 11 years ago and so was tha video.
      The people are still coping the same way.

    • @SiisKolkytEuroo
      @SiisKolkytEuroo 4 роки тому +2

      @@arjunsatheesh7609 I know...

    • @venjazzthehuman3967
      @venjazzthehuman3967 4 роки тому +5

      Is the person who made the comment 11 years ago still alive?

    • @BeatleSoph
      @BeatleSoph 4 роки тому +46

      @@venjazzthehuman3967 I'm immortal!

  • @ChrisMarx
    @ChrisMarx 16 років тому +3297

    Their delivery is funny,
    but nothing they said was incorrect.
    Does that still make it a joke?

    • @xl000
      @xl000 4 роки тому +58

      @@jacksonpatrick2303 I learned that Bangladesh was " the eastern provincial wing of Pakistan between 1955 and 1971" acc to Wikipedia.
      So they had a remote territory or something ?

    • @coolthief8375
      @coolthief8375 4 роки тому +22

      xl Yes

    • @TheBirdThatWhistles
      @TheBirdThatWhistles 4 роки тому +5

      It's satire

    • @bullseye6969
      @bullseye6969 4 роки тому +6

      Its true to many extents.

    • @Arcaryon
      @Arcaryon 4 роки тому +9

      That makes it political satire.

  • @ayushjain8265
    @ayushjain8265 3 роки тому +1292

    As an Indian I can confirm, Tectical Diplomacy is the only diplomacy that work between India and Pakistan.

  • @thejumperkin
    @thejumperkin 2 роки тому +794

    "Mostly by growing old and dying, Andrea"
    I'm dying here...

  • @JustinHill47
    @JustinHill47 15 років тому +704

    "Stakes rising as more potential victims are born each year"
    Indeed.

    • @kushalve
      @kushalve 3 роки тому

      ?

    • @orbeez444
      @orbeez444 3 роки тому +3

      holy shit 11 years ago

    • @abcxyz-
      @abcxyz- 3 роки тому +1

      Are you still alive?

    • @tacticalcheeks4257
      @tacticalcheeks4257 3 роки тому

      @Justin Hill Hey man how are you

    • @eJohndoe
      @eJohndoe 3 роки тому

      @@abcxyz- He's not with us anymore man.
      I'm his friend.

  • @rafsanAhmed93
    @rafsanAhmed93 4 роки тому +2863

    East Pakistan tried to intervene but that afford turn volatile and east pakistan become Bangladesh next day. 😂😂😂😂

    • @leaveme3559
      @leaveme3559 4 роки тому +241

      India smiles

    • @yeal_takian
      @yeal_takian 4 роки тому +68

      And also why on earth they showed the wrong map of India - and completely obliterating Bangladesh from the map? I mean what IS THIS ?

    • @yeal_takian
      @yeal_takian 4 роки тому +37

      @Arid Probably you are right
      An average American (The intended viewers of this video) or in fact anyone wouldn't care less for a map to be drawn perfectly.
      Whatever, you are right, it does not matter,

    • @shahedhossainimran
      @shahedhossainimran 4 роки тому +71

      @@yeal_takian I mean, they probably didn't include Bangladesh to add to the comedy.

    • @Lonestar10443
      @Lonestar10443 4 роки тому +35

      @@yeal_takian Probably they were assuming that Bangladesh also wants to move away from pakistan. That's why. 😂😂😂 just kidding.

  • @efilwv1635
    @efilwv1635 3 роки тому +460

    This is funny because I remember hearing a radio broadcast at a friends house about Pakistan and India getting nukes back in 1998. I raced my bike home thinking “it’s happening”. Turned on the news and saw nothing. Been 23 years now and still waiting.

    • @efilwv1635
      @efilwv1635 3 роки тому +22

      @Nectar Krsn Cuz I heard a tail end of a news cast that made me think nuclear war was about to commence 😂

    • @smrutismarak9503
      @smrutismarak9503 3 роки тому +21

      😂shouldn't hold too much hope for a nuclear war. It's actually not big possibility that it will occur. Since, under the nuclear umbrella you can fight a fairly significant limited war.

    • @Diego-zz1df
      @Diego-zz1df Рік тому +27

      You with a stick, poking at two nations with nuclear arsenals: "C'mon, do something"

    • @blackatom4957
      @blackatom4957 Рік тому +15

      It's not happening because India has no first use policy, so it gives Pakistan a sigh of relief that India will not be the first to attack it with nuclear weapons. The day India removes this policy, chances of a nuclear war happening will increase tremendously.

    • @Gre3k
      @Gre3k Рік тому

      @@blackatom4957 India should remove it them 🤣

  • @satyadevbadireddi382
    @satyadevbadireddi382 2 роки тому +176

    "We understand East Pakistan has tried to intervene..."
    "That's what our sources are telling us but unfortunately we received word that that effort failed when the nation became bangladesh"

  • @landshark000068
    @landshark000068 5 років тому +497

    0:39 Suicidal man on roof in downtown Chicago plans to aim for parked Mercedes.
    The news ticker is always great on ONN.

  • @awabqureshi814
    @awabqureshi814 7 років тому +1095

    I can testify as a pakistani that this totally occurred.

    • @MKULTRA_Victim_
      @MKULTRA_Victim_ 5 років тому +42

      As a kekistani we are with you friend!

    • @umaersharief
      @umaersharief 4 роки тому +16

      @@MKULTRA_Victim_ shadilay my brother from punjab pakistan. we are truly oppressed. May we rise to the glory.

    • @johngage4042
      @johngage4042 4 роки тому +8

      Johan Jacobs that’s rather problematic language you’re using. You’re #cancelled now nazi

    • @asnowballinhell
      @asnowballinhell 4 роки тому +1

      @Johan Jacobs I'm mostly baffled by the Europeans who want to breed with them.

    • @Blade.5786
      @Blade.5786 4 роки тому +13

      As a Bangladeshi I can also confirm that our people were scared of the harmful effects of nuclear war on the nation.

  • @xl000
    @xl000 4 роки тому +239

    The amount of content they packed in 2 minutes 30 seconds is incredible.

    • @ICantSplel
      @ICantSplel 11 місяців тому

      Layered comedy. Like an onion.

  • @somecanadian7049
    @somecanadian7049 4 роки тому +69

    See you in 5 more years when you find this on your recommended page.

  • @royalspin
    @royalspin 6 років тому +904

    I thought the Indian continent is actually plunging into and not away from the Eurasian continent ? So much for any possibility of peace .

    • @StrangeQuark
      @StrangeQuark 5 років тому +123

      they're invading asia

    • @thechosenone1533
      @thechosenone1533 5 років тому +199

      It won't make a difference as Pakistan is part of the Indian subcontinent.But atleast we will get away from China,so it won't be totally useless.

    • @tintin5428
      @tintin5428 4 роки тому +10

      @@thechosenone1533 KASHMIR FOR THE TAKING!

    • @TheWebsOfCorruptionNeverFail
      @TheWebsOfCorruptionNeverFail 4 роки тому +43

      @@tintin5428 Well Kashmir is already a pie chart so....

    • @vishists721
      @vishists721 4 роки тому +41

      It's actually merging together and Himalayas are getting higher.

  • @primeroyal7434
    @primeroyal7434 3 роки тому +88

    0:32 "East Pakistan tried to intervene" as a Bangladeshi, this makes me laugh.

  • @akxnehtgdfbdfb7448
    @akxnehtgdfbdfb7448 4 роки тому +588

    I miss the onion. Their dedication to satire is still unparalleled

    • @akxnehtgdfbdfb7448
      @akxnehtgdfbdfb7448 3 роки тому +28

      @@mihir1181 all their posts are several years old now :( for the fiction we have to tune into cnn and fox news now

    • @erwannthietart3602
      @erwannthietart3602 2 роки тому +7

      @@mihir1181 money makes stuff, satire brings less money these days, because news network aspre usually a endless money pit made for "propaganda" (look manipulating popular opinion has been a thing since forever its just less extreme and more subtle) of all kind.
      The onion doesnt bring in that many investors

    • @ezrakim1323
      @ezrakim1323 Рік тому +7

      they still make blog on their website.

    • @riyak.7393
      @riyak.7393 Рік тому +2

      They're still on Tumblr & their website

    • @tejasaditya551
      @tejasaditya551 Рік тому

      ​@@akxnehtgdfbdfb7448😂😂

  • @kumarshubham1198
    @kumarshubham1198 3 роки тому +68

    "If a resolution is not reached within 800 billion years the borders may separate, ending this conflict without bloodshed"
    "Okay Dan we'll all be watching to see if that happens"

  • @sixstringlove8242
    @sixstringlove8242 8 років тому +383

    I am holding out hope the continental shift will separate the two countries. I will be paying close attention to the ever widening gap...

    • @neerkoli
      @neerkoli 4 роки тому +15

      Pakistan is also part of the plate.

    • @Blade.5786
      @Blade.5786 4 роки тому +13

      @@neerkoli That's part of the joke,right?

    • @pulpyfruits1384
      @pulpyfruits1384 4 роки тому +4

      Yah that should happen.

  • @vpsn99
    @vpsn99 12 років тому +229

    Mostly by growing old and dying!!!! Horrifically true.

  • @debrajdas4527
    @debrajdas4527 5 років тому +326

    Political satire at its best. This is almost poetic. Whoever wrote this, congrats.

  • @davidjohnson5635
    @davidjohnson5635 4 роки тому +59

    Maybe the Onion does not post anymore because they have covered every imaginable combination of events.

    • @AquaticBlaze
      @AquaticBlaze 3 роки тому +3

      they do post new stuff
      but they just compile their new video ideas into a podcast

  • @shankysays
    @shankysays 5 років тому +373

    Surely the tectonic plate will move before this standoff ends. 😂 Still relevant in 2019.

  • @lollalot
    @lollalot 13 років тому +219

    "3560 hours later and the tension is still rising Andrea, I have been here now for 10 years, my wife and kids have left me and I'm borderline insane but it appears that tensions, are, still, rising. Back to you Andrea"
    "Thank you Dan. Later in the news, Brad and Angelina adopt their 57th baby..."

    • @user-lj8qf1uj1h
      @user-lj8qf1uj1h 3 роки тому +6

      its 2021
      still accurate

    • @leaderbad1548
      @leaderbad1548 3 роки тому +4

      Wow it's indeed 10 years later now, and tension is still rising

    • @ADeeSHUPA
      @ADeeSHUPA 3 роки тому

      @@user-lj8qf1uj1h uP

    • @abcxyz-
      @abcxyz- 3 роки тому

      Are you still alive?

  • @taasinbinhossainalvi9173
    @taasinbinhossainalvi9173 4 роки тому +119

    Bangladesh as an independent nation approves this message

    • @130vaibhavrathi3
      @130vaibhavrathi3 3 роки тому +17

      So you are coming with us after 800 million years

    • @arnabghosh4638
      @arnabghosh4638 3 роки тому +3

      @@130vaibhavrathi3 no no we'll keep watching from the sidelines remaining neutral. You never know which side the balance may swing

    • @p_HoE_niX
      @p_HoE_niX 3 роки тому +13

      @@arnabghosh4638 Just pay some attention to the map used in the video, you'll understand what vaibhav said.

    • @arnabghosh4638
      @arnabghosh4638 3 роки тому +2

      @@p_HoE_niX ah yes the time when bangladesh just ceased to exist from the map. thanks bro

    • @itismethatguy
      @itismethatguy 2 роки тому +3

      As a Pakistani i can say sorry if you feel that we were like the British.

  • @ayaan5540
    @ayaan5540 3 роки тому +77

    I love how accurate and yet hilariously satirical The Onion can be, without being outright offensive or pretentious. This is some quality comedy right here!

  • @Heat3YT2
    @Heat3YT2 3 роки тому +27

    “Andrea” is so good as an anchor. She has the cadence, facial expressions and head nods down.

  • @acebalistic1358
    @acebalistic1358 3 роки тому +104

    Want to be depressed?
    Odds are several people in this comment section are now dead

  • @dirtydan9785
    @dirtydan9785 4 роки тому +48

    Wifi signal: **goes down one bar**
    Video quality: [thumbnail]

  • @franklesser5655
    @franklesser5655 3 роки тому +49

    Actually India is shifting north, as it has been for millions of years. This northward movement is what has been forming the Himalayan mountain range.

    • @youruncle8364
      @youruncle8364 3 роки тому +15

      Yes true but looking at the two countries fight, even the tectonic plates decided to seprate them

    • @mtarkes
      @mtarkes 3 роки тому +3

      Himalayas are India's Great Wall against China.

    • @Shivam-kz2dg
      @Shivam-kz2dg 3 роки тому +3

      @@mtarkes and cold wind currents too

  • @thewatcher8368
    @thewatcher8368 2 роки тому +38

    The tension has been unbearable as it has been for several decades, yet another decade has passed and still the tension is unbearable.. Thanks onion for honest reporting...

  • @LyricalWax
    @LyricalWax 16 років тому +52

    "How are they coping?"
    "Mostly by growing old and dying",
    I burst out laughing at that point.
    And I think she's the best anchor, I just love her straight face.

  • @adamlam9600
    @adamlam9600 10 місяців тому +47

    "Danger has worsened since industrialization of both nations" this line is just genius for so many goddamn reasons, peak Onion was amazing

  • @JESTER-97
    @JESTER-97 4 роки тому +354

    Eventually we'll get tired of war like the Europeans did

    • @speedbird1598
      @speedbird1598 4 роки тому +77

      @Ganga Din The country where people are killed for eating beef has no right to talk about violence

    • @Sara3346
      @Sara3346 4 роки тому +69

      @Ganga Din So reports of thugs attacking beef eaters are all just fabrications then?

    • @danyal3552
      @danyal3552 4 роки тому +52

      @Ganga Din Dude your knowledge is so cheap, why not just copy paste from an islamophobic website :(

    • @rohanmalhotra4256
      @rohanmalhotra4256 4 роки тому +17

      we're not tired Pakistan gets bankrupted

    • @rohanmalhotra4256
      @rohanmalhotra4256 4 роки тому +36

      @@Sara3346 if that is from CNN or BBC or NDTV, yeah thats fabricated.

  • @zakkilhoffer
    @zakkilhoffer 15 років тому +48

    "How are people over there dealing with the conflict?"
    "Mostly by growing old and dying."

    • @orbeez444
      @orbeez444 3 роки тому

      11 years ago man

    • @jayantsingh3078
      @jayantsingh3078 Рік тому

      14 years passed still your comments have no answer.
      Indian subcontinent is as big as European continent. Some part feel cold and other part feel hot or meet rain .

  • @DoctorT144
    @DoctorT144 15 років тому +381

    "Mostly by growing old and dying, Andrea."
    "...she later became my wife; we now have two beautiful children."
    Man, this is intense! I will definitely be on the edge of my seat for the next 8 billion years!

    • @03019a
      @03019a 4 роки тому +15

      Are you still on the edge of your seat?

    • @rahimirahim1107
      @rahimirahim1107 4 роки тому

      Howard Leung lmao 😂

    • @KikogamerJ2
      @KikogamerJ2 3 роки тому +2

      @@03019a he is but is now decomposing and could move a little

    • @abcxyz-
      @abcxyz- 3 роки тому

      Are you still alive?

  • @KhanBostan
    @KhanBostan 3 роки тому +143

    As a Pakistani I laughed really hard at this 😂😂😂

    • @Gre3k
      @Gre3k Рік тому +19

      As an Indian i am laughing really hard at pakistan's condition today
      Imraand khan is truly a RAA agent 🤣

    • @AbdusSalam-ll1yp
      @AbdusSalam-ll1yp Рік тому +23

      ​@@Gre3k there we go again

    • @uditabhattacharya2824
      @uditabhattacharya2824 Рік тому +12

      @@AbdusSalam-ll1yp hahaha if there's no ind-pak comments war where's the fun?

    • @akshitbeniwal5400
      @akshitbeniwal5400 Рік тому +2

      @@uditabhattacharya2824 HE DON'T UNDERSTAND 😂😂

    • @BeanOnTheFlipside
      @BeanOnTheFlipside Рік тому +2

      ​@@Gre3koh boy

  • @thepriestofvaranasi
    @thepriestofvaranasi 3 роки тому +21

    This video will eventually blow up because it randomly pops in everyone's recommend. Also I expect a new standoff in the comments section.

  • @usuallydead
    @usuallydead 6 років тому +150

    This video just turned 10.

    • @xl000
      @xl000 5 років тому +7

      also, most of people commenting at the time it was released are mostly dead or in prison

    • @slyseal2091
      @slyseal2091 4 роки тому +7

      Today, on the 31st December 2019 this conflict has been raging on for 15810 days - or 43 and 1/3 of a year. statistically, every person that was adult in India/Pakistan when this conflict started has died by now.

    • @walnut9472
      @walnut9472 3 роки тому +4

      12 now

    • @yourmom8926
      @yourmom8926 3 роки тому +3

      12 now

    • @orbeez444
      @orbeez444 3 роки тому

      12 now

  • @jordanthecat
    @jordanthecat 16 років тому +33

    There is so much material in these Onion videos that you really need to watch them twice- the second time for the news ticker at the bottom of the screen.

  • @simbachvazo6530
    @simbachvazo6530 2 роки тому +19

    Coming to you from today when India "accidentally fired a missile into Pakistan"

  • @mriya4345
    @mriya4345 Рік тому +12

    The sound of urgency in their voices , perfectly reflects today's mass media news.

  • @arcblooper2699
    @arcblooper2699 5 років тому +42

    Damn youtube recommendations timely af

  • @Renegen1
    @Renegen1 16 років тому +18

    "Cost benefit analysis rules out saving the Earth from asteroid" Lol..

  • @asheep7797
    @asheep7797 5 місяців тому +3

    17,383 days since the standoff began, things are still as heated as it has always been!

  • @chandrakantsahu25
    @chandrakantsahu25 4 роки тому +24

    Reverse continental Plate Shifting is the great solution 😂😂

  • @jdg48439
    @jdg48439 16 років тому +101

    The number of days, all of the presidents, the scrolling text. LOVE the Onion. This is genous again.

  • @TamaHAHA
    @TamaHAHA 15 років тому +17

    "mostly by growing old and dying andrea"
    greatest line ever. period

  • @mho...
    @mho... Рік тому +8

    Over 5110Days Later, nothing is resolved & everyone still is still anxiously waiting for *something* to happen!

    • @static7815
      @static7815 Рік тому +2

      Pak is a failed state and cant compete with us now. Our rivalry is with china now

    • @siddharthakvr5154
      @siddharthakvr5154 Рік тому

      This just goes to show the wilful ignorance the west has for the situation in India right now? Nothing has changed, really? Do some research man

  • @jtipale
    @jtipale 3 роки тому +10

    12 years and this still doesn't stop being funny!

  • @hanspetrov4343
    @hanspetrov4343 9 місяців тому +4

    15 years has passed, video still relevant

  • @AbolishTheInternet
    @AbolishTheInternet 11 місяців тому +3

    Just got the news notifcation that it has entered day 17,189... I never expected it to get this bad

  • @rexmundi3108
    @rexmundi3108 4 роки тому +32

    The number of people who have died during this conflict is staggering.

    • @IPFreelly604
      @IPFreelly604 4 роки тому +4

      India is now a Super-power they will outgrow Pakistan, only a matter of time.

    • @mohsinchheena430
      @mohsinchheena430 4 роки тому +10

      @@IPFreelly604 Bruh, what are you on about

    • @ruinnaimperii4686
      @ruinnaimperii4686 4 роки тому +2

      Kvass You high bruh ?

    • @akshanshchoudhary7397
      @akshanshchoudhary7397 4 роки тому +2

      @@IPFreelly604 Super-power? My ass!

    • @Tompsie
      @Tompsie 4 роки тому +10

      India Superpower 2020 is a meme dumbasses

  • @kuralovien5524
    @kuralovien5524 Рік тому +12

    The only thing the world countries need to be worried about Pakistan - India border issue is that if the war does start, how many Pakistani soldiers are gonna surrender and how fast they're gonna surrender 😂

    • @cyberverse9141
      @cyberverse9141 Рік тому +1

      Muslims will rule North India once again son 😉 🇵🇰 800 years

    • @kuralovien5524
      @kuralovien5524 Рік тому +8

      @@cyberverse9141 forget north, muslims can't even rule their own country and have let US rule it for them in the middle east 😂.

    • @heatengine9283
      @heatengine9283 Рік тому

      @@cyberverse9141 It is more likely that your children will convert out of Islam. Win win for everyone involved.

    • @oo7posam581
      @oo7posam581 Рік тому

      ​@@cyberverse9141 😂First take care Of your nation... Give Atta to your citizens

    • @cyberverse9141
      @cyberverse9141 Рік тому

      @@oo7posam581 atta tamatar 😂 only points endians can use 😂

  • @Myrea_Rend
    @Myrea_Rend 15 років тому +30

    1:50
    "News from Iraq: Four Marines delayed by roadside bar"
    XD

  • @justanotherupscaspirant8837
    @justanotherupscaspirant8837 Рік тому +7

    "Shifting of the tectonic plates is a potentially viable solution"
    Pak: but...um... we're also part of the Indo-Australian plate. You know that right?
    India:......shit

  • @es0strefis
    @es0strefis 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks for recommending it AFTER 12 YEARS.

  • @wademedlin6831
    @wademedlin6831 2 роки тому

    Keep up the good work Dan!

  • @lazylillies1438
    @lazylillies1438 4 роки тому +30

    Damn this was uploaded when Obama was campaigning against Hillary. This was uploaded when I was still hopeful about life

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 4 роки тому +3

      Well..
      He campaigned against many, many, many things and took a sharp U-turn( need I define it?)!
      On the scales of morality and fair justice, *the biggest one would be:* Bringing the CIA personnel who kidnapped and then "enhance-interrogated" the "T-E-R-R-O-R-I-S-T-S"( read SUSPECTS, in least-biased phraseology) on an international territory - aka EXTRAJUDICIALLY( also in a least-biased wording).

  • @eft1978
    @eft1978 4 роки тому +3

    Man, 2020 and this is still the most accurate and relevant journalism

  • @chandru9133
    @chandru9133 3 роки тому +2

    If you're watching this on 30th June 2040, then it's exactly 11, 680 days from the date of it's upload...

  • @mykola4
    @mykola4 4 роки тому +9

    2019 were all on the edge of our seats as situation still remains unresolved entering its 73rd year.

  • @paerarru
    @paerarru 15 років тому +16

    One of those The Onion episodes that doesn't have to make anything up, but simply satirize what's actually a very real yet nonetheless very ridiculous situation.

  • @johnosborne1873
    @johnosborne1873 7 місяців тому +4

    The Onion was PERFECT

    • @jfu5222
      @jfu5222 7 місяців тому

      I remember when the St.Paul Pioneer Press "newspaper" bought the Onion and immediately took it out of print. I'm just glad it survives online. I have some old articles that I cut out, including the headline "Snackistan Breaks Off Chiplomatic Relations With Frito-Laysia", classic stuff! Fuckin Pioneer Press isn't fit for wrapping fish.

  • @shivamchandrawat5511
    @shivamchandrawat5511 3 роки тому +5

    After 12 years UA-cam wants to start tensions again 😂

  • @mugdhaa1010
    @mugdhaa1010 3 роки тому +2

    I'm in India. I'm 19, but I'm just growing old and dying while waiting for this conflict to end.

  • @kunalgulyani2129
    @kunalgulyani2129 4 роки тому +37

    As an Indian I fail to see where's the satire

  • @a_rush
    @a_rush Місяць тому +4

    The most unrealistic part of this video is the journalist not staring at the camera blankly and awkwardly nodding for 8.9 seconds after being asked the questions

  • @sharknado523
    @sharknado523 3 роки тому +4

    We need an update on this video. Anyone watching in 2020?

    • @youtubemoderationtaskforce5583
      @youtubemoderationtaskforce5583 3 роки тому +1

      Yes

    • @oldgods914
      @oldgods914 3 роки тому

      Update is New player China joined the conflict. Pakistan Is funding militants In kashmir, whereas china and india are undergoing conflict over Territory of ladkh and Arunanchal pradesh.

    • @walnut9472
      @walnut9472 3 роки тому

      Yes

  • @michaeldriggers7681
    @michaeldriggers7681 4 роки тому +4

    11 years later, just crossed the 15,000 day mark.

  • @rickastleyrule3497
    @rickastleyrule3497 Рік тому +4

    I love how it says wagah, India

  • @guptaprakhar990
    @guptaprakhar990 3 роки тому +2

    Omg I got this recommended after 12 years and it’s still relevant

  • @Paulkuriansunny
    @Paulkuriansunny 3 роки тому +5

    "Hey"
    "Look at us"
    "Who would have thought"
    "Not me"

  • @rafiulhaque2838
    @rafiulhaque2838 3 роки тому +7

    -how are civilians coping with the situation
    -mostly by growing old and dying

  • @sunilKumar-sy9pm
    @sunilKumar-sy9pm 4 роки тому +6

    Year 2050: let me check. Yep still the same.

  • @blacklight4720
    @blacklight4720 3 роки тому +3

    "By growing old and dying" I didn't see this one coming!

  • @abdullahabdulaziz
    @abdullahabdulaziz 4 роки тому +2

    It's been 11 year and this is still relevant the stand out never ended

  • @zzamzza
    @zzamzza 3 роки тому +3

    Wow, is this news from The Onion without a million views?

  • @karanvarma4843
    @karanvarma4843 Рік тому +9

    This is such an insane parody of modern Indian media 😂

  • @wallacebrowning7151
    @wallacebrowning7151 5 років тому

    Got this on my recommended today! How fitting

  • @AakashKumar-gl2fk
    @AakashKumar-gl2fk 3 роки тому +2

    I was offended when I saw this video for the first time few years ago recommended randomly. After watching other videos of onion this week, this got recommended again, i enjoyed it this time.

  • @7H07sAndH03s
    @7H07sAndH03s Рік тому +4

    14 years later, still relevant.

  • @pierce4026
    @pierce4026 Рік тому +4

    This video was released 5,113 days ago so we’re actually halfway there

  • @babyyoda4052
    @babyyoda4052 2 роки тому +6

    My favorite part was when they listed all the presidents

  • @yashwardhanjohri4549
    @yashwardhanjohri4549 Рік тому +4

    "how are the people there cooping with the situation?"
    "Mostly by growing old and dying"💀💀💀

  • @Zephas99
    @Zephas99 10 років тому +8

    I like their earlier stuff. And it's always fun to read the people who think this is real.

  • @neurofiedyamato8763
    @neurofiedyamato8763 4 роки тому +6

    This is probably the best satire so I sen of Onion yet. Everything they said is true yet that is what is so funny. Nothing have changed for decades but because the tension is ever present, it consistently gets hyped by the media.

  • @qbasic16
    @qbasic16 3 роки тому +1

    12 years after this report, I'm getting more and more nervous about a possible escalation 😰

  • @NeptunesLagoon
    @NeptunesLagoon 4 роки тому +12

    actually India is still headed North.... like 6 inches per year or something....

    • @isaacbruner65
      @isaacbruner65 4 роки тому +6

      Pakistan is mostly part of the Indian subcontinent

    • @yuritardid7761
      @yuritardid7761 3 роки тому

      "But if you close your eyes"
      (South India disappears)
      "Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all"

    • @NeptunesLagoon
      @NeptunesLagoon 3 роки тому +1

      @@yuritardid7761 in the south, yes...

  • @RP4409
    @RP4409 16 років тому +20

    800 BILLLION YEARS...LOL