Onion Explains: The Terrifying Growth Of ISIS

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  • Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
  • What motivates the brutal terrorist group to commit its atrocities and how does it use technology to spread fear worldwide? The Onion explains the horrifying spread of ISIS.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @victoriawinters1488
    @victoriawinters1488 9 років тому +6478

    "Just drop every bomb we've got on the enemies of freedom. "
    oh The Onion, you never fail to humour me.

    • @unaliveeveryonenow
      @unaliveeveryonenow 9 років тому +53

      Victoria Winters As if that's not how they do.

    • @wisemankugelmemicus1701
      @wisemankugelmemicus1701 4 роки тому +11

      It worked for Assad tbh

    • @HusseinDoha
      @HusseinDoha 4 роки тому +4

      @@wisemankugelmemicus1701 Assad himself is an enemy of freedom. A dictator on his 20th year in power, after his dad ruled for 30 years!! He was also lucky because crazy ISIS attacked the Free Syrian Army and other groups. They wanted all for themselves. And the dictator also brought Iranian militias and Hezbollah. Fuck him. Syrians deserve better.

    • @wisemankugelmemicus1701
      @wisemankugelmemicus1701 4 роки тому +18

      @@HusseinDoha Better a dictator who believes in some civilized ideals rather than a religious despot or much worse religious despot. Assad's basically won. God knows the FSA ain't going to stay by the west's side if they win.
      Edit: We abandoned support for the FSA in 2017 in favor the Rojava. Which cannot end poorly at all.

    • @HusseinDoha
      @HusseinDoha 4 роки тому +3

      @@wisemankugelmemicus1701 Who told you I cheered for religious despot and maniacals like ISIS? I said Syria deserve better than Assad. ISIS is worse. FSA was on the West side and on the people's side. It would have basically became like the Lebanese or Jordanian armies. Both allies of the USA and funded by USA. Civilians run the countries and people will be able to cuss at politicians and speak more freely. You absolutely have no idea how Assad is and was brutal. Syria and Iraq (under Saddam) were both ruled by Ba'ath Parties. An Arab Nationalist-Socialist single state parties. At least Saddam was gone in 2003. Syria now is an anomaly in the region. I been to Syria many times before the war. Beautiful country. But you can smell the fear. Now he won this war. Half the population is displaced and Syria was destroyed. He have no intention of stepping down. Want to go for 30 years just like his father. Dare to speak against him, and you will be dead or you will disappear. That's very civilized. Syria deserves better than a dictator.

  • @dorkiecookie
    @dorkiecookie 9 років тому +5951

    I love that the subtitles were just random arabic alphabets

    • @unaliveeveryonenow
      @unaliveeveryonenow 9 років тому +184

      dorkiecookie duh, that's every time a foreign sign appears on media

    • @takdekejelagibagus
      @takdekejelagibagus 9 років тому +668

      dorkiecookie it's actually their attempt to translate the words spoken, but letter by letter. the boy's subtitle reads "screw you mom, I'm in ISIS now" and the girl's subtitle reads "Honestly, ISIS is just best" LOL

    • @ExceptionalWaffle
      @ExceptionalWaffle 9 років тому +48

      +Naquib Azman arabic looks hard to read and write, so squiggly

    • @AhmedKachkach
      @AhmedKachkach 9 років тому +84

      +dorkiecookie I don't think they did that on purpose, the characters are written from left to right instead of right to left, and totally disjointed.

    • @norseninety-two9233
      @norseninety-two9233 8 років тому +9

      +dorkiecookie letters*

  • @JREG
    @JREG 9 років тому +4245

    This right here is some effective satire.

  • @OmarKhaled-em2mf
    @OmarKhaled-em2mf 4 роки тому +4897

    I love how they ACTUALLY discussed the reasons that isis came into existence.

    • @jehovahs_thiccness.
      @jehovahs_thiccness. 4 роки тому +416

      Because evil exists I already know

    • @Thisisahandle701
      @Thisisahandle701 3 роки тому +67

      Because they believe in a book that tells them to do these things? Being a "martyr" makes less sense if there is no afterlife.

    • @OmarKhaled-em2mf
      @OmarKhaled-em2mf 3 роки тому +428

      @@Thisisahandle701 I'm not going to argue with you, but you are speaking from a place of ignorance. Imagine kids that had their cities destroyed, schools bombed, families killed, hope stolen because of a pointless unjustified war. How do you expect these kids to grow up? They didn't get proper education, they lived most of their lives in war. The iraq war created an entire generation of kids that know nothing but war and how to despise the west. These kids grew up to fight for isis, and unfortunately their kids will grow up knowing nothing but war too. Humans are the same everywhere, they want the same things, they like the same things, they hate the same things and they love the same things. If it was truly the book, my friend, you would have a billion people in arms trying to kill everyone else. If it was the book, it wouldn't have been other muslims that fought and defeated them.

    • @Thisisahandle701
      @Thisisahandle701 3 роки тому +42

      @@OmarKhaled-em2mf There is the effect from the destability brought on by perpetual war, and there is also the belief structure that encourages the use of violence in certain contexts. The geopolitical destabilisation of the region does not explain the whole nature of ISIS violence, which is clearly justified by wahhabist interpretations of Islamic texts. Just as literal interpretations of Christianity reliably produce violence so too is this the case with overly literal interpretations of Islamic texts. When ISIS tells the world why they fight and kill, they cite Islamic texts which they have interpreted literally. Sure, kids growing up around AKs, death, bombs, and war has only made this worse, but it is not the full picture.

    • @pm.meowth4850
      @pm.meowth4850 3 роки тому +54

      @@OmarKhaled-em2mf ✊🏿 speechless

  • @MstMannerz
    @MstMannerz 9 років тому +1914

    I thought the onion does Satire?

    • @Bluefalcon6154
      @Bluefalcon6154 9 років тому +18

      I like what they've been doing

    • @breadcanful5365
      @breadcanful5365 9 років тому +76

      +Dulliest These days its hard to tell what is satire and what is real world news.

    • @Hannodb1961
      @Hannodb1961 8 років тому +41

      When real news on ISIS is on the level of Satire, then you have to report real news in order to be satirical.

    • @Redorgreenful
      @Redorgreenful 5 років тому +10

      Unfortunately comedians are the real journalists of our generation.

    • @Mustafa2892
      @Mustafa2892 5 років тому

      Dulliest
      did* you sure are dull
      Ps not sure if that was part of the joke

  • @Xenozillex
    @Xenozillex 9 років тому +1999

    If you search up ' reasons why the west is bad' you get results about Kanye west. Pretty accurate.

    • @Captainflowers1011
      @Captainflowers1011 9 років тому +13

      Oh crap it's real....

    • @jaychung1380
      @jaychung1380 5 років тому +2

      Wrong

    • @adog3129
      @adog3129 4 роки тому +7

      but unfortunately if you type in the URL you get some adware

    • @yumm186
      @yumm186 4 роки тому +2

      Shame he's going for president

    • @hairyputter5363
      @hairyputter5363 4 роки тому +6

      @@adog3129 the west took down the site.

  • @MrChase115
    @MrChase115 3 роки тому +856

    This doesn't feel like the Onion, this just feels like straight up truth.

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic 3 роки тому +6

      lol

    • @thecosmic8248
      @thecosmic8248 2 роки тому +21

      Sugar helps the medicine go down

    • @phillustrator
      @phillustrator Рік тому +20

      And so it feels like the onion.

    • @twiztidyournutz
      @twiztidyournutz Рік тому

      ​@@thecosmic8248it literally does. I used to have potions that tasted nasty. I found this out by coincidence, Mary Poppins was playing on the television when my brother & I were taking these potions or "medicine" & it totally helped.

    • @manfredconnor3194
      @manfredconnor3194 11 місяців тому +1

      "No, these men are satirists Donny." ^^

  • @MarkoKraguljac
    @MarkoKraguljac 9 років тому +492

    Will I be marked for suspicious/terrorist activity if I click Like?

    • @RagingGoldenEagle
      @RagingGoldenEagle 9 років тому +65

      Marko Kraguljac You were marked the moment you watched.

    • @RagingGoldenEagle
      @RagingGoldenEagle 9 років тому +4

      deenman23
      Making fun of govt policies is enough :P

    • @RagingGoldenEagle
      @RagingGoldenEagle 9 років тому +4

      deenman23
      After all Snowden revealed, how can you still deny it?

    • @JeffWatersRules
      @JeffWatersRules 9 років тому

      +Raging Golden Eagle by being really fucking dense

    • @RagingGoldenEagle
      @RagingGoldenEagle 9 років тому +4

      deenman23
      That's only because they lack the manpower to read it all. What they do is archive everything, then THE SECOND they want to get dirt on you, they dig up everything you have ever said and done. Ever heard the saying "show me the man, and I'll show you the crime"? Maybe you should look into that...
      Or don't, keep living a life of blissful ignorance.

  • @Schurfable
    @Schurfable 9 років тому +1152

    But I thought everything was very simple. I thought everything was black and white. I thought some groups of people were worth less than others. Am I gonna have to start thinking now?

    • @Scias
      @Scias 9 років тому +20

      Hans Martin Vatnan Yes. Now apparently America is responsible for Islamic extremism.

    • @mejsmith1
      @mejsmith1 9 років тому +79

      UncleRob199 Well, partially responsible.

    • @gremlinn7
      @gremlinn7 9 років тому +65

      +Hans Martin Vatnan No, don't you worry, different nationalities still have different worth. No need to start thinking... but you do need to do a bit of algebra!
      1.743 Afghanis - 3.49 Greenlanders = 8
      9.01 Greenlanders + 8.73 Egyptians - 4.5 Afghanis = 69
      12.71 Egyptians = -0.05 Egyptians + 42

    • @dondude69
      @dondude69 9 років тому +44

      gremlinn7 Math is hard........
      Can I just be an infidel?

    • @Scias
      @Scias 9 років тому +1

      Michael Smith specifying the parts of islamic incitements of violence that america is responsible for would be productive.

  • @DonutEatingDoggo
    @DonutEatingDoggo 4 роки тому +824

    1:51 Almost died laughing as I snorted the noodles I ate out of my nostrils seeing that guy at the front row, middle column doing a good job at push ups.

    • @DonutEatingDoggo
      @DonutEatingDoggo 4 роки тому +41

      as you can see at the 2nd row, third column from the left of your screen, you can see someone penetrating the soil with his peen.

    • @DonutEatingDoggo
      @DonutEatingDoggo 4 роки тому +24

      and beside him at the 2nd column from the left the other guy couldn't even lift his knees from the ground omfg. IM DYING
      *WHEEZE*

    • @gabeowser9881
      @gabeowser9881 3 роки тому +11

      2nd row, far right has the best form. I hope he keeps up his training

    • @igorino1767
      @igorino1767 2 роки тому +9

      ZERO!
      ZERO!
      ZERO!

    • @nikpan9744
      @nikpan9744 11 місяців тому

      Which kind of noodle was it?

  • @blairassani7595
    @blairassani7595 4 роки тому +381

    You had me at “college costs too much”

  • @bytemegga
    @bytemegga 4 роки тому +409

    I'm impressed at how much research they've conducted. Onion is better than MSM

    • @Klont123
      @Klont123 Рік тому +5

      I liked Miami Sound Machine 😢 But I’ll admit their research was utter shit.

    • @tyler.walker
      @tyler.walker 11 місяців тому +1

      @@Klont123I thought he meant “my sexy mom”

    • @alicorn3924
      @alicorn3924 11 місяців тому

      I thought it meant MainStream Media?

    • @jacksmith7726
      @jacksmith7726 11 місяців тому +1

      The half eaten rabbit on my lawn is better than the MSM

  • @Thrashaero
    @Thrashaero 9 років тому +517

    1:50 nice pushups lol

    • @yuu5974
      @yuu5974 6 років тому +12

      Thrashaero lmao I know right

    • @rn-zu5ld
      @rn-zu5ld 5 років тому +25

      Are you on about that guy in the front

    • @5gonza541
      @5gonza541 5 років тому +18

      gorilla light speed The guy 3rd closest? He is me at gym class

    • @Sumschmuck
      @Sumschmuck 4 роки тому +24

      You have to admit that ISIS has a pretty decent fitness program

    • @Awesomefacecraft
      @Awesomefacecraft 4 роки тому +1

      They cut away because he got shot after.

  • @Phi1618033
    @Phi1618033 9 років тому +143

    If I need certainty in an uncertain world I know I can always turn to the Onion for answers.

  • @f1r3hunt3rz5
    @f1r3hunt3rz5 3 роки тому +303

    Lmao if you look at the "Arabic subtitles", you'll realize that it's actually the spoken English sentence BUT spelled with Arabic letters!
    They chose the letters which closely resemble the Latin alphabet, whether in sound or in shape.
    For example: 1:43
    _"And talk about all of the five ways the West is bad"_
    Subtitles:
    " ا د ن ت ا ل ك ا ب ه و ت ا ل ل ه ف ت ح ع ف ي ذ ع ش ا ط س ت ح ع ش ع س ت ي س ب ا د "
    The Arabic letter ه here represents the Latin "o" because it looks like it
    The same goes for Arabic's ع which looks like the letter E
    And Arabic's ش looks like the letter W
    While ذ looks like the letter V to them
    As for the others, they are actually the correct counterparts in terms of sound.
    Arabic ا is the equivalent of the vowel "a"
    Arabic ت sounds the same as the consonant T
    And ل is the letter L
    And ح is the letter H
    And ف is the letter F
    And so on.

    • @markysnar72
      @markysnar72 3 роки тому +6

      Thank you!

    • @klake5375
      @klake5375 3 роки тому +25

      Wow I thoguht they just spammed a bunch of disconnected arabic words with no meaning

    • @rthony7780
      @rthony7780 3 роки тому

      k bruh

    • @mouhibgh6928
      @mouhibgh6928 3 роки тому +11

      yeah arabic words are mostly connected like this
      مرحبا or hello
      and not this
      م ر ح ب ا

    • @janewick509
      @janewick509 3 роки тому

      LOL

  • @gagan.dee.p
    @gagan.dee.p 4 роки тому +290

    ISIS truly found the most effective, reliable, clear cut method to find the existence of God. I am inspired too

    • @AyshKing
      @AyshKing 3 роки тому

      Incorrect

    • @Redwan777
      @Redwan777 2 роки тому +18

      @@AyshKing you cant take a joke, can you?

    • @patateslikofte6474
      @patateslikofte6474 2 роки тому +3

      @@Redwan777 incorrect

    • @puppergump4117
      @puppergump4117 2 роки тому +8

      Well dying and just checking in the afterlife is my suggestion for them

    • @lijger1
      @lijger1 11 місяців тому

      Are they still above the 5000 count?

  • @Hannodb1961
    @Hannodb1961 8 років тому +128

    This is fricken amazing. The Onion is actually MORE FACTUALLY CORRECT than the main stream media!!! Most "journalists" who report on Islamic issues have never picked up a Quran in their lives. This article shows insight even in Islamic believes about eschatology!

    • @xSoupCan
      @xSoupCan 8 років тому +2

      Maybe you have been conditioned because you won't fucking stop watching the shitty news.

  • @ov10bronco9
    @ov10bronco9 Рік тому +18

    I love how reasonswhythewestisbad in the subtitles for this is just the irs website

  • @shaloamnenja12yearsago29
    @shaloamnenja12yearsago29 5 років тому +51

    1:51, that one guy in the middle of the front row.

  • @schehabalthawr546
    @schehabalthawr546 4 роки тому +81

    Love the educated implications behind the satire. You definitely did some extensive research.

    • @nathanmcgill7249
      @nathanmcgill7249 Рік тому +2

      At this point, the Onion should be considered on par with actual journalism

    • @redwankhan3375
      @redwankhan3375 11 місяців тому

      ​@@nathanmcgill7249better then most journalists

    • @Dennis-nc3vw
      @Dennis-nc3vw 11 місяців тому

      There are no "educated implications" here. This is just more of that "let's assume the bad guys have a good reason because otherwise that wouldn't be nuanced and intellectual of us" nonsense. ISIS has nothing to persecution of Shia. ISIS is the successor to a group in Iraq known as The Islamic State in Iraq. This group was so brutal to its own people it actually caused the Iraqi insurgency in the Sunni Triangle to split in two and half of them to join the US, this was called The Anbar Awakening. Also, what was this persecution of Shia by the elected Iraqi government? The US backed government fought both Sunni and Shia militias. Muqtada Al-Sadr was one of their primary adversaries during the war. He was a Shia warlord.

  • @anunkash5185
    @anunkash5185 8 років тому +337

    btw this is how you fight terrorism.
    you point and laugh.

    • @bm6nation
      @bm6nation 8 років тому +16

      Ok but what do I do when the terrorist blows up a airport or shoots up a theater or runs over people with a truck. Do I just laugh at them? I don't think that's very effective. Sooner or later bombs have to fall on people (which they already are of course).

    • @anunkash5185
      @anunkash5185 8 років тому +11

      bm6nation you go and do what you can to help the people.
      then when everyones cared for, you come up with a clever joke.

    • @bm6nation
      @bm6nation 8 років тому +1

      Anun Kash Yeah and then you create a hashtag maybe change your facebook profile picture and say a prayer and then you do the same thing the next attack and the next and the next... I'd rather just bomb them back to the stone ages.

    • @anunkash5185
      @anunkash5185 8 років тому +7

      bm6nation whatever tickles your pickle brotato chip.
      but i didn't change my profile pic, and i'm not religious.
      I just pointed and laughed.

    • @bm6nation
      @bm6nation 8 років тому +6

      Anun Kash Which will do absolutely nothing lol.

  • @hughjanice8373
    @hughjanice8373 4 роки тому +57

    Oh my gosh, I watched this in my year 10 social studies class and thought it was real

    • @SPARKY358
      @SPARKY358 3 роки тому +14

      I mean It is pretty real, just mixed with satire

  • @azouitinesaad3856
    @azouitinesaad3856 11 місяців тому +7

    after 8 years I'm here to confirm that they decided to call it a day.

  • @gabrielnieves3972
    @gabrielnieves3972 5 років тому +45

    This video is satire but it is better researched than 99% of serious news

  • @milascave2
    @milascave2 6 років тому +36

    Wow, i actually learned more on the ISIS worldview from this video that from most others I have seen on the topic.

  • @gagan.dee.p
    @gagan.dee.p 4 роки тому +46

    This is the most brilliant piece of writing in the history of youtube sarcasm.
    I couldn't even watch and listen and grasp all words being said and jokes thrown, in first attempt of watching this video, coz it takes times to get over the previous joke. Especially if your eyes can't stay open coz your laughing too hard.
    So many angles covered in such short time with heavy hitting.
    Who wrote this script !!!

    • @SovietReunionYT
      @SovietReunionYT Рік тому +2

      I wouldnt be surprised if the Onion writers from this golden era got poached by Last Week Tonight.

  • @FurkanKhan100
    @FurkanKhan100 9 років тому +86

    lmaooo i like how at 1:36 the subtitles are just random arabic letters (in arabic, letters are connected to make a word).

    • @klake5375
      @klake5375 3 роки тому +7

      It's actually what's being said in English but typed in Arabic letters (like it's not a translation they just chose the Arabic words that made a similar sound to the english words and used them)

  • @stephaniecarrow4898
    @stephaniecarrow4898 3 роки тому +21

    A more in-depth explanation than one gets on so-called real news.

  • @elu5ive
    @elu5ive 9 років тому +66

    how come the US always picks the second explanation/option?

    • @superdogmeatmeat
      @superdogmeatmeat 9 років тому +24

      +KilluaXIII Because it's easier and excludes them from blame.

    • @Budenmayer5
      @Budenmayer5 9 років тому

      KilluaXIII Why is it that the people who tend to mock those who claim people like Saddam and ISIS are evil are the same people who will say one is the lesser evil? I don't understand how any civilised person could think that ISIS isn't evil.

    • @Unbrutal_Rawr
      @Unbrutal_Rawr 9 років тому +16

      ***** Some civilised people possessing the ability of rational thought understand that _good_ and _evil_ are cognitive categories that have nothing to do with reality, simply reflecting a personal or social attitude. These words should be restricted to bedside stories.
      Show me one ISIS fighter who says either he or ISIS is _evil._

    • @Budenmayer5
      @Budenmayer5 9 років тому +1

      Sobakus I mean most of what they say is evil and more importantly most of what they do is evil. Do you honestly not consider them to be immoral and wicked? Are you a nihilist?

    • @mutopis
      @mutopis 9 років тому +1

      KilluaXIII too dumb to fail

  • @nolalove9723
    @nolalove9723 3 роки тому +75

    How have we gotten a more comprehensive explanation of what and why it exists from The Onion; than from any news service or governing body?
    The U.N. couldn't have given a better explanation.

    • @whereswaldo5740
      @whereswaldo5740 11 місяців тому

      I really didn’t know til now.
      Wasn’t sure what to expect.

  • @augurcybernaut4785
    @augurcybernaut4785 5 років тому +16

    Every day The Onion is becoming more and more needed.

  • @WigglyMalmsteam
    @WigglyMalmsteam 9 років тому +42

    Angelfire still exists? They should also create a Geocities page for maximum exposure.

  • @m.shahbaz5962
    @m.shahbaz5962 3 роки тому +37

    It's crazy to think that onion does more research than most news providers

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 11 місяців тому +1

      news publishers* There! FTFY

  • @trolljones4386
    @trolljones4386 Рік тому +11

    This is what I love about the onion as it’s all well educated they get the Islamic doctrine correct to the point of minor details.
    As well as historical details too

  • @KingdomRepublic
    @KingdomRepublic 2 роки тому +12

    They literally cited truth and real reasons

  • @amk4956
    @amk4956 3 роки тому +7

    This channel is criminally underrated

  • @SovietReunionYT
    @SovietReunionYT Рік тому +4

    The way it just ends where it does is just *chef's kiss*

  • @indalecio21
    @indalecio21 9 років тому +82

    I expected Onion news to be satirical...i dont see any satire over here.

    • @mitchverr9330
      @mitchverr9330 9 років тому +42

      Indal Real news in the US has gotten so satirical and retarded that the new true satire is the truth mixed with a lil humour.

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 9 років тому

      ***** What about shitty satire, or satire circlejerk?

    • @todafett5865
      @todafett5865 9 років тому +2

      Watch it again then... You'll get it soon enough

    • @jarmoksvk
      @jarmoksvk 9 років тому +2

      Indal I think you may be blind.

    • @Bluefalcon6154
      @Bluefalcon6154 9 років тому +1

      +mitch verr it's a better way to do it because satire is easily misunderstood but simple people

  • @mr.pavone9719
    @mr.pavone9719 11 місяців тому +3

    It's pretty sad when you can learn more from the Onion than you can from any major news media outlet.

  • @Denynn
    @Denynn 9 років тому +44

    Is this the narrator from the first Mass Effect game?

    • @Denynn
      @Denynn 9 років тому +18

      Whatever you call him, the guy that reads the encyclopaedia.

    • @roadhouse6999
      @roadhouse6999 6 років тому

      Sounds like him.

    • @ThatGuy-bz4yv
      @ThatGuy-bz4yv 4 роки тому +5

      *No, this is Patrick.*

  • @perdidoenbolivia134
    @perdidoenbolivia134 3 роки тому +8

    Thanks YT algorithm for bringing me another Onion classic I never saw !

  • @lpg12338
    @lpg12338 3 роки тому +6

    The Onion, a news report many years ahead of its time.

  • @Steve27775
    @Steve27775 9 років тому +177

    It's great that they wave those large black flags everywhere to help with missile targeting. Makes a drone-operator's job so much easier.

    • @sumerdhaliwal332
      @sumerdhaliwal332 3 роки тому +16

      And yet drone strikes still end up killing civilians

    • @stefthorman8548
      @stefthorman8548 Рік тому +3

      @@sumerdhaliwal332 "civilians"

    • @phillustrator
      @phillustrator Рік тому +16

      ​@steft horman
      You implying something?

    • @colonelcorn9500
      @colonelcorn9500 Рік тому +1

      @@stefthorman8548”enemy combatants”

    • @thefatbob3710
      @thefatbob3710 Рік тому +1

      @@sumerdhaliwal332why does the civilian wearing a bomb, why is the civilian holding a black flag, why does the civilian have a gun?

  • @MsMilkytheclown1
    @MsMilkytheclown1 9 років тому +13

    may Allah accept him.

  • @dvepps6780
    @dvepps6780 9 років тому +24

    hilarious... been reading your publication since 1994

    • @dvepps6780
      @dvepps6780 9 років тому +5

      Jesus Christ returns to the nba

  • @XalphYT
    @XalphYT 9 років тому +4

    I am so happy that The Onion is making videos again.

  • @parkouristlife4296
    @parkouristlife4296 3 роки тому +5

    This has to be the best satire piece I have ever seen! Genius!

  • @SmokeyTube
    @SmokeyTube 5 років тому +8

    The tank tracks in the first clip wasnt even moving

    • @JD-vn4sh
      @JD-vn4sh 3 роки тому +1

      It's on a truck

    • @SmokeyTube
      @SmokeyTube 3 роки тому

      @@JD-vn4sh no its a tank

  • @normalhuman9878
    @normalhuman9878 2 роки тому +8

    “Then Isis will simply call it a day and live with the fact that there is no god”
    Well I guess there’s nothing better to do

  • @TehMasterSword
    @TehMasterSword 9 років тому +4

    best onion article ever. This will be their magnum opus

  • @chinchillian8197
    @chinchillian8197 3 роки тому +3

    I love how the website in the closed captions was irs.gov lol

  • @FlamingAirplane
    @FlamingAirplane 24 дні тому +1

    This only gets more and more true and I love it

  • @KingNik1994
    @KingNik1994 3 роки тому +4

    1:50 Look at the middle guy in the front row. Look at his push-ups

  • @maxmccormick4274
    @maxmccormick4274 3 роки тому +3

    I thought they grew like plants

  • @m.h.a.3554
    @m.h.a.3554 2 роки тому +1

    This is still hereeee???? I love it here!

  • @TragoudistrosMPH
    @TragoudistrosMPH 2 роки тому +3

    I love the Onion...but wow... this was Tenet and Inception levels of ambitious...but quality only the Onion could truly achieve...

  • @aliensoup2420
    @aliensoup2420 Рік тому +2

    The simplest way to determine if God exists is a bullet or cyanide laced Kool-Aid.

  • @isaacbrown4506
    @isaacbrown4506 5 місяців тому +3

    I have to be honest here, i did try to go to that website.

  • @cortster12
    @cortster12 9 років тому +7

    2:35 They will still think god exists, because fuck logic.

    • @Honest_Question
      @Honest_Question 14 днів тому

      Ah yes, because according to "logic" nothing can come from something, right?

  • @wardoned2
    @wardoned2 11 місяців тому +1

    Uhhh this doesn't seem like satire anymore but honestly onion is the most trustworthy news Channel

  • @ChrisRedfield--
    @ChrisRedfield-- 2 роки тому +10

    Amazing how satire and sarcasm are so close to the truth.

  • @kaizhang378
    @kaizhang378 11 місяців тому +1

    1:51 That one guy doing push-ups is really trying his best 😭

  • @zongdong266
    @zongdong266 2 роки тому +1

    I’ve low key never heard, experienced this nor imagined this

  • @jamessawyer9816
    @jamessawyer9816 4 роки тому +3

    Thought it said ISS and I was very intrigued about the uncontrolled sprawl of a sentient space station

    • @JohnSmith-gz4fs
      @JohnSmith-gz4fs 4 роки тому +1

      That would be amazing. You could send it to the onion email as a suggestion.

  • @AOA9871
    @AOA9871 Рік тому +2

    I love how the subtitle scrolls are just English in the Arabic script 💀

  • @nileshudipi1691
    @nileshudipi1691 3 роки тому +4

    This is actually pretty accurate ngl

  • @beardyben7848
    @beardyben7848 8 місяців тому +1

    This video is a work of genius. Hysterically funny, scathing, painfully real.

  • @JonathanPoto
    @JonathanPoto 3 роки тому +5

    It’s such a hilarious notion that ISIS is driven by uncertainty 😂😂

  • @naynaynay324
    @naynaynay324 9 років тому +1

    The onion is in rare form with this one.

  • @danielaramburo7648
    @danielaramburo7648 3 роки тому +5

    Why did you join Isis?
    Recruit: they had an excellent free college program. I’m not Muslim, I’m actually Hindu, but I could not resist the free college benefits!!! Joke

    • @Redwan777
      @Redwan777 2 роки тому +2

      I didn't end up with crippling debt. Hooorah!

  • @ancientgamer694
    @ancientgamer694 2 роки тому +2

    THIS IS THE BEST ONION VIDEO YET HOLY FUCK IM FUCKING DYING HERE

  • @hughjanice8373
    @hughjanice8373 3 роки тому +3

    I thought this was real in year 10 social studies and tried finding the website

  • @echo_9835
    @echo_9835 2 роки тому +2

    The website is in comic sans. Now that's satire.

  • @5gonza541
    @5gonza541 5 років тому +5

    I love that the ISIS interviewees are all North American lmao

  • @davidmelara6304
    @davidmelara6304 5 років тому

    i went to the website and immediately got a call from peru with no one on the other end, if some shit just happened, i'm suing

  • @RaytheonNublinski
    @RaytheonNublinski 9 років тому +4

    Defense contractors gotta get paid. Besides death and taxes, it's the only certainty we have.

  • @NathanielVCatan
    @NathanielVCatan 3 роки тому +2

    Remember the days, in where the world's most dangerous threat ever considered was ISIS?

    • @zhess4096
      @zhess4096 3 роки тому +3

      I remember the days when the biggest threat to China, Middle East, India and Europe was the Mongol Empire

  • @spurdosparde8197
    @spurdosparde8197 2 роки тому +8

    this video pretty much applies to the average american’s knowledge of russia’s invasion of ukraine, and geopolitics in general

  • @justatiger6268
    @justatiger6268 11 місяців тому +1

    This... is the best sub-three minute explanation I've ever heard. Most people do actually simply matter by saying "ISIS is evil" and that's it.

    • @hastyhillfarmand4x480
      @hastyhillfarmand4x480 11 місяців тому

      People who watch the news believe that because they are told to. It's like if you call out what's actually happening, your a nut, but if you believe that it's "the enemies of freedom" because Dan Rather said so, your sane and rational.

  • @DelosWX
    @DelosWX 3 роки тому +11

    Ha ha. Very funny UA-cam. Recommending this the day the Taliban took over Afghanistan.

  • @rufushowell
    @rufushowell 5 років тому +1

    Forgot this was the onion for a moment, sounds just like them honestly

  • @SaintJimmy379
    @SaintJimmy379 4 роки тому +3

    "because there are bad guys out there" oof, just listening to this is painful XD

    • @g.hareeb
      @g.hareeb 17 днів тому

      it’s funny 😭😭

  • @rayrivera1830
    @rayrivera1830 9 років тому +1

    the Onion is now my most trusted news site.*sigh*

  • @ExosLife
    @ExosLife Рік тому +3

    it would be cool if everyone realized there is no god.

    • @SuperGreatSphinx
      @SuperGreatSphinx 10 місяців тому +1

      God The Father
      God The Son
      God The Holy Spirit

  • @LogoDojo
    @LogoDojo 2 роки тому +1

    A Beautiful Onion
    Has
    Layers
    Truth
    Glow

    • @thanoscube8573
      @thanoscube8573 Рік тому +1

      The most philosophical comment section ever

  • @Enderplays12
    @Enderplays12 3 роки тому +4

    That ending though.
    If ISIS is right then they will get slaughtered because it's said so.
    If ISIS is wrong...they're wrong..."welp nvm".

  • @gyanarihant7113
    @gyanarihant7113 3 роки тому +1

    This one actually is surpisingly accurate, certainly more accurate than main stream channels. Weird

  • @sheldondrake8935
    @sheldondrake8935 Рік тому +6

    I just want both gods to have fun!!

    • @lokior8080
      @lokior8080 11 місяців тому

      Retard they believe in the same god. It’s the Abraham religions. Jews, Christian’s and Muslims believe that their gods are the same. Shit Islam thinks Moses and even Jesus as past prophets

  • @WJ4321
    @WJ4321 5 років тому +2

    when i herd ISIS audio books i was like excuse me?

  • @johnathankwolik
    @johnathankwolik 9 років тому +11

    need a explain on 2016 president Deez Nutz

  • @StevieObieYT
    @StevieObieYT 11 місяців тому +1

    "How did you get here?"
    "I couldn't afford my college tuition fees."
    "Oh no... Same here!"
    "Damn! Infidels!"

  • @MAXBLAYLOCK
    @MAXBLAYLOCK 9 років тому +3

    But why did they call themselves by the name of a pagan Egyptian goddess? Doesn't that piss off Allah?

  • @rechecked6601
    @rechecked6601 3 роки тому +2

    why is this educational

  • @brad4058
    @brad4058 3 роки тому +9

    There's just evil people out in this world and it's our job as Americans to liberate their people of this evil and show them the ways of democracy. As long as it's worth it of course.

    • @blackdynamite_5470
      @blackdynamite_5470 Рік тому +4

      Do these people that need to be liberated have oil in their lands?

  • @user-ct8my8rv9c
    @user-ct8my8rv9c 5 років тому +2

    The photo at 0:27 should not have been included, all those men in that photo were murdered.

    • @jessican.1500
      @jessican.1500 5 років тому

      And many if not mayhap most of the civilians and ISIS fighters shown were also 'murdered'. So I guess we shouldn't be allowed to make satire out of terrorist groups and thereby allow the fear spread by terrorist groups overpower us?

    • @user-ct8my8rv9c
      @user-ct8my8rv9c 5 років тому +1

      Nice false equivalency. The photo in question is from a video that shows those men being slaughtered with shots to the back of their neck and head, and dying in agony. I wonder if your opinion would be consistent if a photo of your father being murdered was used as part of a comedy routine.

    • @jessican.1500
      @jessican.1500 5 років тому

      @@user-ct8my8rv9c Not really a false equivilancy since neither you nor me can judge whether or not these people died instantly while the rest of these people may have bled on a street corner for several hours.
      With your suggestion that they're likely to have been shot in the spine or skull I am going to assume that my implication above is probably just that much closer to being accurate and dismiss further conversation based on the reasoning outlined in my first reply.
      I personally would rather have my death or death of my family members be used in a 'comedy routine' if it were to debase the killers in any meaningful way as opposed to empower them as surely the original photo did on it's release, as per how stupid it is, if I were in their shoes, that would probably be the best I can do.
      It's not a great thing, but it's a step up from where it originally came from. And because of this usage of the photo I now know the faces of those people who were murdered in this way and that this is the extent that terrorists and all other enemies of mankind as a whole will go to 'make a point'. I may not know them but I know they exist now.
      Thankfully I live in a part of the world where such events are so incredibly unlikely that I doubt I will ever witness them first or secondhand in the forseeable future like this and even if so it is more likely that I'd die on my feet, which is again, exactly how I'd want it to be. Shitty situation either way.

  • @zacharychemacki6234
    @zacharychemacki6234 Рік тому +6

    Gotta love these terrorist apologist takes by the Onion.

    • @godsdj7316
      @godsdj7316 11 місяців тому

      How on earth is "don't make conditions worse over there" terrorist apologism? ISIS apologists argue FOR ISIS, not against them.

    • @zacharychemacki6234
      @zacharychemacki6234 11 місяців тому

      @@godsdj7316 When you say that the terrorists are perfectly rational for doing what they are doing, that is being an apologist.

    • @godsdj7316
      @godsdj7316 11 місяців тому

      @@zacharychemacki6234 Terrorists are not clueless apes who randomly decided to do what they do. Nowhere in the Onion video says they are justified. Of course terror groups have rationalisations, that's how they can still look at themselves in the mirror. How else could the empires of the past carry out slaughter on massive scales that make the atrocities of today look like a cakewalk by comparison? They had their "reasons". The difference between us and terrorists is that our reasons cling to a morality that values human life instead of valuing our own power.

    • @Dennis-nc3vw
      @Dennis-nc3vw 11 місяців тому

      @@godsdj7316 They're making up this bullshit about Sunni persecution for the rise of ISIS. Does anyone cheering this video's "truth" even have the slightest idea what they mean by that? Of course not. But they gobble it up because they can't simply believe bad guys are bad guys, because only sheeple believe those things.

  • @hugolafhugolaf
    @hugolafhugolaf 2 роки тому +2

    This is surprisingly real...

  • @bitspacemusic
    @bitspacemusic 9 років тому +4

    The actor playing "Logan" is already at Guantanamo, drowning five hours a day.

  • @v8Buster87
    @v8Buster87 5 років тому +2

    Lmfao the onion is one of the greatest when it comes to comedy and Satire. They are fucking legendary lol.

  • @Knvkl
    @Knvkl 9 років тому +18

    Both of the presented options are correct and not contradictory.

    • @vk45de54
      @vk45de54 8 років тому +4

      +Knvkl Ugh, no.