My Fiance wanted an open Relationship even though we were about to get married.
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- My Fiance wanted an open Relationship even though we were about to get married, i cancelled the wedding because of it. Now, everyone's curious and asking why. Should I tell them the truth?
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There was a story the other day where the woman asked to cheat, I mean "open relationship" and the man just looked at her and asked, "who is he? the guy you want to sleep with?"
And she knew that he knew.
Yeah, I heard of that one before. But he was right, whenever someone wants an open relationship it either means they are cheating or thinking about cheating. The wife realized her mistake and took it back. In the end, the husband said yes but it was clear he didn't want to, it was a test or something. Instead of the wife being faithful and changing her mind she went with the guy she liked. It was fine, it wasn't as good as she thought it was going to be. Anyway, when she told her husband he just ignored her. She felt bad and decided to end things with her AP but he refused to leave her alone unless they did it again. Instead of saying no she still went for it. It was terrible and the AP hated it. The wife tried to get back with her husband but it was too late. He divorced her. She was sad and regretted ever wanting an open marriage. All because she listened to this fake blogger who said that an open marriage can improve a relationship. After all, if you and your partner do love each other you can make it past this. No, people who love each other don't need to see other people because they only need each other. You see, this is what happens when you let Lust overpower Love. Cheaters who still "love" their partner always say this "It was just sex, okay? It didn't mean anything. I don't love them. But what we have is love, real love. It wasn't cheating because I don't love them, I love you." like that makes it okay, well it's not. Listen it's okay to crush on someone else even though you are in a relationship with someone you do love but in the end, Love will overpower Lust. It happened to this man who was happily married and had a family but there was this hot coworker that he had a lot in common. All signs said he should be with her but in the end, he followed his heart and not his genitals. He went with his wife and their relationship was stronger than ever because he chose her instead of his coworker.
I heard one like that, but when she said "there's no one" he figured out there are multiples.
Ah I remember that one. It was the dude who tested his wife's loyalty and faithfulness. She failed obv. She demoted herself from wife to a sidepiece for casual sex whenever the ex husband wants to. The ex husband said "You can't force someone to be faithful, you either are or you aren't, and you obviously are not a monogamous person". That destroyed the wife.
jayden , that guys name right?
I see I am not the only one binging on these stories 😅
"We live in a modern world"
"Dear god..."
"There's more"
"No..."
This… is a bucket.
It contains every mans dieing wish
@@Glovedart It also contains... a bucket!
Joker: "WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!" 😂
Spy: 🤨
This story is several years old. OP did a micro update some months ago. She never did cheat. The couple who were in an open relationship tried to convince her into a threesome but she refused. She had found PT work at a place she enjoyed and was less stressful which helped. Overtime the trust was rebuilt. They got married, baught a fixer-upper house and she quit her job to focus on their two baby girls. Life was still stressful but now in a positive way. No mention was made of the original theripist who tried to ruin them.
Being that she had a pattern, she may have been expelled from the APA.
Thas nice. Hope he dna test those kids
DNA testing should be mandatory before a father's name is put on a birth certificate.
@@chessieray1465fingers crossed
Ah so he is a simp
This is why communication is so important like 90% of the issues here could have been solved by communication
Thank you for noticing that was the big issue instead of going down the mgtow pipeline.
@@LadyBern
What is there to notice
This subject is a deal breaker it would have ended the same anyway
And MGTOW is the natural result, not a pipeline
Especially because of sh it like this
@@theghost4984 the updates made it very clear that communication was a very big issue with this couple. Had she told him about the stress at work, the mental breakdown, the miscarriage, OP would have helped her get through these issues, which in turn probably would have prevented the interference of the quack therapist and their suggestion of "let the bride fuck any man with a pulse."
@@theghost4984 She didn't want bodies, she was surrounded by toxic people who wanted to ruin her relationship. Ion hate on MGTOW brothers for doing what they want, if you don't think finding a solid relationship is worth the effort, that's your decision. But that doesn't mean every situation is unfixable. She'd been hiding a lot of pain from him, and while that's definitely the wrong move, men especially should be able to sympathize with bottling up your mental health issues and dealing with them on your own.
@@LadyBern what does mgtow means ?
The fact that a licensed therapist did not immediately tell that crazy bihh to get her act together, but instead tried to manipulate the OP should be grounds for losing her license to practice.
Women are vile, duplicitous and vindictive things.
Rather to go to jail. Thearpists can be as influential (or even more) on our lives than doctors. The law should be especially hard on them
ikr she literally ruined this couple's relationship by filling the bride to be head with false bs that would make any normal sensible man dump/leave them. Sleep with other men in an open relationship after marriage to have a high body count to keep the love strong and alive??? What kind of fked up logic is this shet??? Who the fk taught this dumb licensed woman to say and think that such a thing will keep any couple together?
And the friends who are part of an open marriage are equally stupid if they stay with their partners while miserable. Nobody would ever stay with someone with a dread and heartbreak of thinking and seeing their partner for life sleeping with another person that isnt them everyday. And to encourage this is just worst.
I get that she's hurt by the miscarriage but she could have talked it out with op from the start and not hold this in. Many women suffer and breakdown because of they want to be mothers and have a child/start a family, (I had a breakdown on my 1st miscarriage) that is 1 thing I do blame her for. I also blame her for listening to this woman without checking reviews and feedback. It doesnt matter if that person is a doctor, therapist, social worker, lawyer, always do a review search on someone to know exactly if this person is worth listening to or paying for, this doesnt just extend to people, establishment as well.
So I clap my hands to op for handling the situation well, taking down that batcrap crazy therapist, cutting out toxic people, and working with his partner in this. I also clap to his partner to realize how badly she messed up, getting the actual help, doing exactly whats needs to be done, and cutting out toxic individuals.
It was a pattern with the therapist... she had destroyed numerous other relationships before using the same tactics. It's why the clinic finally responded so quickly as OP had other patients with similar experiences dug up by his lawyer investigators & added their testimony to the report
It was likely a grift for the therapist because pushing this will end the relationship and keep her going back to therapy for years. Many therapists are passive aggressive like that.
Good on OP for immediately recognising his ex's reunion offer where he had full control as toxic. That would not have been a healthy situation for either of them.
Most guys don't wanna babysit their SO, especially after marriage. Mebbe a different story for girls but yeah if you cant trust someone why stay with them.
can provide kids and hot
Immediately correct reaction.
“So would you be open to a one way open relationship”
“You’re absolutely free to pursue whoever you want now that you’re single”
W
And then walk out without waiting for any reaction or response. "Job done"
One running theme I've noticed on a lot of these stories, is how bad people can ruin the innocence of their betters, and drag them down to their level. If your gf has a toxic or gross friendgroup, don't put the ring on until you sort them out, or come to some sort of agreement.
Common Russian saying:
"Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are"
@@astk5214 "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." this you? Has nothing to do with what I said.
Keep in mind fellas this shit goes the same way for us, just because Kyle, Tyrone and Chad are fun to hang out with doesn't necessarily mean they're good influences on you, and don't think your friends don't influence you because that's straight cap 🧢
"betters"? i hope you stay single forever my gamer
@@edenromanov Exactly. We shouldn't just spot the flaws in others, whenever you point others for blame, 3 fingers point back.
"last cry of a dying siren" that is absolute bars
The hypocricy of her wanting an open marriage only for her because she "loves him too much" and would be "heartbroken" knowing he found other women attractive and one of them may steal him away is just astounding to me...... as if it wouldnt be the same for him.? She didnt care about his feelings at all.
She was convinced by the therapist that it is the only way for them to be together, for him not to get bored. She was in a very bad mental state and manipulated, presumably in a spawn of a year. She did not "care" because she was too broken at the time. We can see how much she was manipulated by the fact that he showed her recording and she got shocked, since she remembered it differently. If a professional doctor was telling her for a year that's the only way to not lose him and she isn't good enough I can understand why she did what she did, which was bad, but I can see why it happened.
@@rose516and now he has to live with the fact that she can be very easily manipulated in the future to cheat on him
You call having a stressful job, miscarriage and a year of manipulation by a specialist who you are supposed to open up completely and trust by definition as easily manipulated? Ok, bro@@AhmadAhmad-xv5cr
@@AhmadAhmad-xv5cr literally anyone can be manipulated... Its not really a curse when it happens to you. As long as you dont let it happen over and over again til your situation is irrepairable.
@@thousandyardgavri2785Speak for yourself, no matter how stress I am, depressed I am, or whatever there's no one on this planet that can convince/ manipulate me to cheat on my partner...
I don't think they should have told the clinic they were also sending the letter to the APA. Instead they should have just told the APA that the clinic received the letter as well, but wasn't notified that the APA was receiving it too. That way it can be seen if the clinic itself is also an issue or not
Clinic evidently was an issue as well
The clinic who kept her employed after numerous earlier complaints are definitely going to be investigated as well... i mean firing her immediately is proof they had foreknowledge of how toxic and unethical her practice was. As soon as evidence existed then they tried to get her away from themselves... which makes them culpable because if they thought she was innocent or it was a spurious complaint then they wouldn't have fired her.
There never should be an okay for open marriage. I’ll also say that when trust is lost, it never gets back, no matter what they say and to tell someone you love them after cheating is so so my o wrong. If really loved that person, no cheating would have happened,
People hate to hear it, but most therapists are actually trying to solve their own issues. So they're projecting much of their internal problems onto their patients, often to the negative results seen in this story.
Unfortunately, it's so true.
this is why not a single therapist is trustworthy enough for me.
Therapy is such scam in the 1st place.
The shit life that therapist had to constantly ruin relationships. Either that or they just loved that sense of power.
Some do yeah but the projection part is false most often they tend to relate thou because well they were in similiar circumstances or already had cases like this
Would the therapist have made the open marriage suggestion if the body count situations were reversed?
Would she suggest the guy sleep around if the gal had a higher body count?
My bet would be no. But then again, that's based on my bet that this therapist is the kind of person who has some kind of clothing or decoration in her home saying "smash the patriarchy" and regularly went to pussy hat rallies back when that used to be a thing.
Yes, all things being equal, that would actually be the case.
Probably not
Probably not. But then again, this therapist is very sketchy and she did this to other couples
maybe, one of the person wronged by this therapist was a girl, I assume that what OP means by that remark is that the therapist convinced a guy to ruin his relationship too, but I don't know if she did it the same way ...
Honestly, I think this is the only situation where I think making up is okay.
The Ex was being manipulated by someone with a psychology degree. I mean, thats some scary shit, and the fact there were other cases with the therapist further confirms that the ex wasn't looking for an excuse.
I mean, she was/is still in the wrong, but I think she is redeemable, though it would take time for healing and her showing through her actions that she is better.
Good News, they are together.
Jup, but OP should have helped with the lawsuit. He is a coward for not doing so. This Therapist ruins lives (as he clearly knows) but he does not help someone fighting that, even though two other people helped him to file a complaint letter. Extremely selfish.
Yeah, looking back on this video. I can’t help but think OP massively jump the gun here. Like, I get you don’t want an open marriage, but immediately breaking up over the suggestion is really dumb to me. That's something that you can definitely be mad over, but having a discussion about boundaries was a far more appropriate response.
I also feel the OP failed as a partner, too. His fiance got feed bad advice from a professional. He then later found out this professional ruined other relationships as well. It like his fiance was scammed by a scam artist that's been around scamming people for years. Then he get mad she's been scammed by someone with years of experience and is still mad when he finds out how long they've been doing for. It doesn't feel fair to stay mad at her after normally. Not only that, he was the one blocking any form of communication. It's kind of hard to explain how you were scammed when his head was in the ground.
Another thing that bothers me is how they have friends in open relationships. Like, did you not talk about this before? Why did OP react so negatively to the session? Supposedly, what was said in the session was really bad, but did it still warrant his reaction. Maybe his friends really were toxic, and he equated a large part of it to be their type of relationship.
Overall, after digesting this video I can't help but think that the OP isn't very emotionally intelligent.
@@ViewOfdidn’t the lawyer himself say he didn’t have much of a case?
@@decobyjones9491 You can't blame a guy for wanting to walk away. Men with self respect would rather be single than get cucked. That's just common sense.
she's an adult. all she's doing is telling she's not an adult and is easily manipulated. she just changed the red flags.
agree
For everyone. If your fiancee or wife asking for 'open relationship', that is red flag. I repeat, that is red flag. I suggest to divorce or cancel off the wedding cuz it will making deep wound for husband or fiance unless some of you on that type of kink so better be prepared yourself then. Open relationship mean 'cheating without hide it anymore', so whenether husband or wife want that, do like what my statement said to y'all.
I want to sleep around but I don't want you to sleep around because that would make me uncomfortable. That has to be the most detached, most wicked and twisted logic that you could possible come up with. She's essentially expecting him to be a cuck, that's what she wants. Wow lol
Well he got back with her so yeah, he is a cuck
thats how you build a harem
She's a grown adult. I don't care how many times the 'therapist' brought up her being with other people or how much 'authority' she thought the 'therapist' had. She could have easily said 'No, that's not for me. What I actually came here to talk about was... blah blah". If she's so simplistically minded that she just lets anyone she feels has 'authority' talk her into this kind of thing, I'd leave. Why be with someone you would most likely have to worry about for the rest of your lives?
If she's being truthful with OP about the miscarriage and breakdown, I can understand that she was manipulated by someone she is implicitly supposed to trust. There ate very few times I would give second chances to someone that fucks up this big, but mitigating circumstances exist.
He even says once she was free from the shrink she was back to her old self. I would be cautiously optimistic for them
@@AnemoneEnemy Anyone so easily convinced to cheat isn't worth the time to give a second chance to. No one forced her into cheating. And sure, she went back to her old self after she was caught. As most cheaters do - until they decide to cheat again. Guy deserves better than to have it be a constant worry in the back of his mind that some other 'trusted person' might wander along and talk her into cheating again
@@AnemoneEnemyif she's willing to cheat on him once she'll do it again
People can be manipulated, especially when vulnerable, stressed, or by someone they trust. And she had all 3. It was a low point, and she did everything correct to get things right. She never gave up, and it's a win in my book
@@silentserpent6026she never did cheat tho
Imagine even considering asking your spouse something like this, I honestly couldnt think of anything more insulting to be asked by my SO. The fact that it was only open to her is just the cherry on the cake
Imagine being close minded to think that only one way of life exists.
@@Marasovsgirl cheater detected
@@Marasovsgirlimagine being a parasite that'd want and support open relationships even though they are literally just an other way to try and justify cheating on the person they claim they love
all I repeat ALL polyamorous relationships ARE DOOMED TO FAIL and cancer I WOULD SHAME ANYONE entering into one like this
@@Marasovsgirl If not wanting to date a cheater is close minded, your world view is horribly warped.
OP must be a better person than I am because I would’ve walked out and never spoken to her again.
The difference between you and op is that you have self respect. Op is the classic spineless simp charming white knight doormat. Even if she was brainwashed by the therapist, this shows she has no mind of her own and is easily influenced by anyone. So either way she is a living red flag
Easier said than done when it's someone you've loved for 9 years and she's obviously been brainwashed by a "therapist"
@@TheOneWhoSimpsthe second A man finds out his love is a whore, then It’s pretty easy, unless said man is a spineless cuck Like most “men” on Reddit
Plus she havent cheated. Shes just working through insecurities.
@@thousandyardgavri2785 "I had the opportunity" this line here irks me the wrong way
"This is how it's gonna work. I'm gonna sleep with other men and you can't sleep with other women because it makes me feel sad 👉🏾👈🏾"
LMFAO REALITY IS THE BEST COMEDY
If she's that easily influenced by another person, she is a dangerous liability.
Amen. The guy mentioned a lot of factors but she never took accountability.
With how much she was gaslit I wouldn't say I would be surprised they could've convinced her what something even crazier is the norm.
Isn't it funny that Men are required to "forgive and forget" yet if the roles were reversed it would be the polar opposite?
Just interesting how Men are treated in relationships.
Which country is that?
@@MsWill813What?
@@Jake23115 I mean in what country is it like that? Here if a woman cheats she is a terrible person and crazy slut, if a man cheats, "that's what they are like". Or did you mean when someone ASKS for an open relationship? I guess that would be considered even worse from a man (because traditionally they try to hide their affairs).
@@MsWill813All western nations with delusional modern women.
Which people? Who said that? You? Me? How many on internet? Do you know every people in the world that said that?
"She had the opportunity to cheat" that is the biggest red flag man. Cmon she blames every man in her life for the reason she wanted a open relationship but she was still seeing opportunities for her to cheat! Someone who loves you doesnt think like that!! I hope this fool doesnt regret taking her back i wish them the best of luck maybe her therapist will keep her from cheating but...I see a dark future for this couple years down the road when another chance to cheat shows up for the wife
Why women dont understand we dont give a damn about no sexual experience, we want them 100% for us, if we truly love them obviously
I personally wouldn't have gotten back together at all. Cuz
She is not a toddler that can't think for herself
Stress is not a disease. It will return and im looking forward to ops next post when she does something even more crazy with stressed mind.
You can't live with a "she once tried to convince me to let her cheat" thought bro. You don't deserve that extra burden whenever you leave her alone at home.
And realized how op suddenly started using "us" and "we" in the end instead of me so randomly? Like their minds are suddenly linked together and he can tell what she's thinking? Like she didn't lie about a dead kid? Yeah thats called coping. Op here gave up to pressure, long history and her charms and now is saying as if he knows everything in her mind to satisfy himself.
No, you are ignoring some key factors. Stress is just 1 things she had on the plate. She had a miscarriage, marriage, and a licensed therapist who she got to help deal with her work stress telling her that her man will cheat, and a friend who has a husband similar to hers and he forced an open relationship and now that friend is saying the man is acting like hers. She was manipulated my guy if you cant accept that people can be led astray then i hope you meet a perfect human being who will never have any problems.
He's a redditor bro
@@PodreyJenkin138 shit i wrote so much im not even interested in reading my own comment
@@experiencedotaku171 it happens 😂 I've done it before
@@aestheticleviathan7028 How does you even know if the baby was his? And even if it was if she can hide such a significant event for years then what else is she hiding. And how long before someone else sway her again? She has no agency or ability to think on her own.
Even suggesting "I had an opportunity to cheat" is already a HUGE red flag.
So she basically blamed everyone else and he believed it
How does he even know that the baby was his and even if it was if she can hide such a thing for years then what else is she hiding
How does he know that she didnt actually cheat with someone from work which was what really stressed her
Even if it is everyone elses fault how does he know that she wont be influenced again since she doesnt seem to have the ability to think on her own
You cant easily convince a woman to go to the gym any easier than you can convince her to have an open marriage if she didnt already have an interest in doing it and im sure that she had a guy from work in mind
I wish OP the best but he needs to realise that he doesnt know her as well as he thinks and she has been keeping far too much from him for it to be a good idea to wife her. There is likely a lot more that he hasnt yet been informed about
Modern problems need traditional solutions 🗣️💯
Fr🗣🗣🗣🗣
I love this comment. I'm going to use that from now on
nice
Didn't expect to find this gem in a reddit video comment section
@@KilroyWasHere83me too
RIP to this dude. All the signs are there. Hope he's doing well
This is just a personal opinion: if you give an unfaithful partner a second chance, you're asking them to be even more unfaithful.... And at this point (still in my opinion), you deserve your partner's past, present and future infidelities.
If you have no respect for yourself, you can't expect others to have any for you either.
Finally someone speaking facts
She didn't cheat tho
@@shamussonDo you really bealieve what you just said. come on man, there are only two things happened when a woman suggest open relationship, one she already cheated, two there is a guy or guys she want to fuck , ok
@@shamussonshe considered it though, otherwise she wouldn't have said she had opportunities to cheat
Good for them, but im 100% sure that she already cheated.
Because you know them personally? Or you’re her? 😂
@@Princetonian4evait's called pattern recognition, you should try it sometime :)
Doesnt matter in tbh
Open marriage leads to divorce
OP definitely settled. Don't EVER settle for someone who
- has no filters or moral compass and so listens to anyone and everyone - except the person she claims to love, spend her life with, and have children with.
- can't thandle stress
- hides significant information and events (miscarriage) from the one she claims to love.
Girl isn't broken, she never fully formed.
may be misscarrige is not a misscarrige, abortion of AP child.
If she hasn't cheated on him yet, she will. When he ultimately laid down and took her back, he unwittingly told her that she can cheat and get away with it.
I fully expect this guy to be writing in again. You can’t fix stupid.
I feel really really bad for her, but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who would cheat on me just because a “figure of authority” said to, or would believe their weird opinions or values over her own. Someone swayable like that, that’s just not what I’m looking for. I want someone who would listen to that therapist and go “what the f are you talking about, are you licensed?”
I don't think she should be in relationship at all... She needs some time to sort herself out... The things she said she do to get back with him are pretty sick too... So she definitely needs get her s together.
Its evident that parents rised her to be obedient and thats exactly what messed her up.
This guy isn't good material for partner either
@@morganablackwater2017 I’m not unhappy that they stayed together in the end, because supporting your loved one through struggles like mental health is part of a real relationship. It sounds like they worked everything out well and she knows what she needs to do to get better, and I admire him for supporting her through that. Sounds like there are some issues. A lot of mixed feelings on this one.
At the end of the day, she knows she’s sick and she needs to work through a lot of issues and the guy loves her enough to support her through it.
@@morganablackwater2017 saying that OP isn't a good guy when he basically got blindsided and gaslighted by his family to accept her back is some nasty work.
But then again a lot of women like yourself love doing nasty work.
I think you Missunderstand something its not just because a "figure of authority" said something humans tend to believe those that they trust more so (like the therapist) but the reason it worked on such a level is because she was mentally totally broken she lost her child thought the man she lpved would leave her and was undet stress permanently honestly its wpuldnt be a suprise if she had suicide thoughts because thats what tends to happen when humans are at such a low point thats why i think its disgusting to just say she did it because some authority said it or that she is easily swayed because literally none of the actions we know she did were when she was of solid minds accept...ah yes the apologies the explaining the trying to be better you know all the decent human things
So you don't feel bad for the guy at all
Therapist had bad cheating experience and decided to channel her hatred of men by breaking up couples.
Another reason why you never ever ask women for relationship advice. They're the worst especially to other women
@@williamrubin4912 I would disagree, both men and women can be good/bad with their advice. Though, if I were to ask advice about relationships myself, I would go to the longest lasting relationship/partners I know of and ask them, not someone who is perpetually single.
@@williamrubin4912As a woman, I agree.
care to share experience on this matter?
Never, EVER give cheaters second chances!
If someone suddenly wants an open relationship they already have someone in mind. Guy is a doormat
The fact that she wasn’t willing to give him the same benefits in the open relationships as she feared he could love someone else and said person stealing him away is so fucking ironic I would have laughed at their face at that🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣not to mention that indicates this is for HER and somehow she’s more entitled to this “freedom” that he
I'm not justifying the girl here but it was actually the therapist's idea not hers... in her mind it would "Balanced" them out
She invented a fake miscarriage to guilt him,this guy is a fool and will totally regret it in the future
may be miscarriage is not a misscarrige, but abortion of AP child.
I saw the update. This guy just missed his opportunity of finding the right woman for himself.
Share it bro I gotta see this doormats failure
apparently he and the woman is ok and well, had 2 daughters, someone posted in the comments
8 billion people 4 billion women, 1 billion suitable female mates.
And you robbed all of them of a chance to truly love you. All that this has done is taught her to cheat carefully.
OP saying this wasn't probably the update we were expecting but he got it so wrong. That was EXACTLY the update I was hoping for.
Me too man, she seems like a nice girl who’s easily influenced and she also acted in self preservation might’ve been wrong but she did her best
@@pekaboo2017 Yeah, and seemed really regretful about it. Judging by the story, she doesn't seem like someone who'd actually want/need/enjoy an open relationship by herself, but just someone who had it rough and was literally brainwashed.
Apparently this was years ago and there was another update, saying they worked out and got married after all.
Yeah, im glad they worked it out.
If she can be influenced this easily by someone who isn't the husband, irs gonna happen again. Wait 5 to 10 years and it's gonna be a "cheating wife" reddit story.
@@dankmemes8619 who knows we all make mistakes and grow as people maybe she’ll learn from her mistakes.
you know when the person asked to have an open relationship/marriage, you know they have someone already in mind, but this story has different one. she doesn't have anyone in mid because she was manipulated by her therapist to have an open relationship to even the field (which is idiotic). I'm glad they could work things out.
That's not how that works. You don't get manipulated into cheating on your spouse. This was in her heart and she was just confirmed by a bad therapist.
@@malachigrindle7063 That literally IS how that works. You can clearly see from the story that she's not the type of a girl who'd even want/need/enjoy that, the fact that she has a lower body count is evidence enough. Plus, did you even pay attention to any of the other factors?
We all have darkness in our hearts, it only matters what we choose.
As Jordan Peterson said, there are no 100% good and pure people, those who believe they could never commit a crime or resort to "a sin", just don't know they have the capacity for it yet.
@@malachigrindle7063 Lmao, talk about narrowing your viewpoint.
I dont think you understand how authority you TRUST can affect your decision making. Many people inherently trust their therapist because why would they have the job if theyre not trusted? Unfortunately bad actors tend to euin those things like this therapist did.
She had a couple for 3s-ome in her option so...
And what do we learn? In a relationship your partner is your therapist. If you got stress and angst, go to them.
He’s a fool for taking her back. Even if she got talked into it that shows a serious character weakness that should disqualify her as wife material. He will pay for it down the road and then he will have nobody to blame but himself.
If she was being truthful of the miscarriage and breakdown, then she was manipulated by someone she is supposed to trust implicitly. And it sounds like she wasn't super into it as for what the lawyer pointed out.
I believe there are times when someone cheats that they absolutely realize they messed up and would do anything to take it back. But by then, it's too late. At least she realized all this before actually cheating and will be grateful for the second chance
Sometimes it takes losing it all to realize what you had, I hope the best for them
and if not?
Therapist or not she doesn’t take responsibility for her part
Jesus Christ this woman and the therapist are so unhinged
LOL the “are you licensed” part
I honestly don't know if OP should've stayed with his GF.
Even if there were influencing outside factors, the truth is that in the end the GF was weak enough to fall for all of them and even entertain the idea of cheat-I mean, an "open marriage"(and one unjust since she would've been given a free pass but would've demanded OP "kept in his pants").
I don't know if GF is capable of cheating, but she certainly is weak enough to be influenced by others to do so, and IF she ends up doing it one day, OP will come to regret ever giving a chance.
Bruh. The therapist caught her post-mental breakdown and groomed her into thinking that an open relationship was the ONLY way her fiancee would be satisfied with her, sexually.
She purposely ignored all of the woman's actual issues, and wrapped her in a safety blanket of lies.
agreed with the comment above let me make it clear GF is only human she was in an extremely vulberable state and Depression is a bit** but okay let me spell it out for you if you just lost your baby have permanent stress on you fear that your loved one will leave you and then go to a Person who you are suppose to be able to trust you would (no matter what you say) also easily be manipulated because this is how humans work we tend to follow what people we trust say especially if we are mentally so broken and See no other way out
@@demonbye19 So she's a sheep that can't think for herself... Even more reason why you shouldn’t get back with a person like that. I've met people who've been in similar, if not worse situations, but thinking of betraying their partner because someone told them to… Wouldn’t even register as a thought for them.
@@HeliosX28 okay fair but it also didn't come into her head for a long time? Your comment doesn't make sense because she didn't cheat and the thought came only after she was talked into it for a long time that doesnt make her easy to manipulate otherwise she wouldn't have gone against it for a while and even then your comparisons dont hold a candle since they probably didn't have a Person they were suppose to trust tell them they should talk about letting open the relationship one sidedly all the time that plus not all people are similiar and we know as in there is actual evidence proof and a logical conclusion that humans tend to believe people they trust more as well as getting more easily influenced so it makes sense that if she is vulnerable that she would be more open to Manipulation
@@demonbye19 It does make sense, she’s a sheep that can apparently be easily manipulated…
“the thought came only after she was talked into it for a long time that doesnt make her easy to manipulate otherwise she wouldn't have gone against it for a while”
That’s the point, from the first time she was told about the therapist told her she should cheat on OP she listened to it instead of instantly saying I’m not going to cheat on my partner…
“even then your comparisons dont hold a candle since they probably didn't have a Person they were suppose to trust tell them they should talk about letting open the relationship one sidedly”
Wrong, I served and let me tell you this stuff that she went through is nothing in comparison to the stuff my brothers and sisters went through… Which is why I said I’ve met people who have been in worse situations and they still didn’t cheat and trust me when I said they could have easily if they wanted to.
“there is actual evidence proof and a logical conclusion that humans tend to believe people they trust more as well as getting more easily influenced so it makes sense that if she is vulnerable that she would be more open to Manipulation”
I have an inner circle that I have no problem saying that I trust with my life in a heartbeat, but if they were to say something that would go against my morals, you best believe I’m questioning it and/or getting a 3rd opinion and they are the same way... So that just tells me she’s easily influenced and this can happen again down the line.
What kind of supposed Therapist AGREED with that woman's wants, picking a side, ignoring the blatant ludicrous of the situation even before meeting and telling OP. They should be Disbarred
I think you misunderstood the story. The therapist was the one guiding the woman into it. It seemed like that therapist was a really bad person and was abusing her power and influence. Which is even worse and should definitely have her credentials revoked.
Op's ex seriously said I want a one sided open relationship.
Yep then he took her back 😂 what a 🤡
@whitneymcclendon16 yea, that's a 🤡 move for sure. Guys need to learn women are no prize. Stop putting them on pedestals. Especially in today's world. Everyone wants to be on OF, be a boss bi*ch, and acting like they don't have delusional standards. Sorry not sorry. I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die
That therapist gets off on ruining relationships in that way
I'm so glad to hear the ending tk this story. I found it a while back before the ending to France and I was concerned the relationship was in the toilet. People don't seem to realise the sort of position a trained therapist is in, if they have malicious intentions someone like OP's fiancée fresh off a mental breakdown is stupidly easy to manipulate and this therapist having an agenda gives her reason to want to break Mirella down and convince her to go along with her vindictive plans. The moment she sees someone she recognises as having a strong will and no immediate mental health concerns she recognises that it would be hard to manipulate OP into screwing up his own life. She obviously has some burning hatred towards a happy marriage that isn't rooted in any sort of feminism because she has done this to a woman as well. Truly evil person and she should lose her license.
Yes and it went for a whole year and people mention this so little in this comments but I would also feel weird if my partner had 26 previous ¨experiences¨ and I think it is weird that he mentions it only one time like it was no big deal, when he said he had ´´more previous experiences´´ I thought he had 12 13 or 14 which would already sound like weird but 26 would just sounds like he have a ´´a sleeping around problem´´ or was bad at keeping relationships.
A frind of my who is a therapist has thus saying.
Going to therapy is a must in this days, checking the background of the therapist you are attending is an even bigger must.
@@rodrigoernestosolaresmatie1909 Some people had about as many sexual partners as sexual experiences while young. Though the guy with 70 is far to much.
@@Olimar92 Yeah I don't know if he meant 26 different partners but I wrote my comment thinking that he meant 26 different partners.
@@rodrigoernestosolaresmatie1909 No you are right, when you put a number to your count in se*x it mainly means the amount of people you had in bed. So OP may as well had 26 different people in his life. Just know that this could all just be one-night hook ups and had nothing to do with him looking for that forever partner. Like I seen people like that in college and have very normal lives with happy families or bf/gfs now. OP of the reddit post might have had a wild life in his younger days but that does not have to mean he is a monster, its mainly how people of these years see se*x in a different view than just for one person.(Just know I dont support that life style, I am a one person type of guy but just dont judge people thinking you cant trust them if they have a high count. If its not under the 30s tho, avoid at all cost if in the 40s to 100s.)
I don't know that I could be with someone who is that easily manipulated. I would never be able to relax.
The therapist definitely has an agenda. I have seen many therapists online where the women therapists were hurt and went on a journey to destroy every marriage and screwing over husbands.
Love how she takes no responsibility 😂
"I want an open relationship but you'll have to be faithful to me while I sleep around".
Yeah, no. If you want that kind of deal, find someone with a humiliation fetish.
Even if that journal helps you recover why in the hell should you take a person with so much immotional and psychological baggage, i might come as insensitive but if that's her condition before marriage what will happen when the relationship is tested with bad times, i wouldn't trust someone this shallow to have my back
hey I tell you a little secret, all humans can be broken😈
Society accepts chaos,depravity,vile behavior, and wicked intentions so following the ideas of Society will never lead to true happiness. People have even loss their lives trying to fit in
This comment hit so hard that I gotta copy and paste this shit into my notes just in case I need it for the future.
@@segmenteddig6822 I'm here to tell it like it is. Thanks for the kind words buddy
Yeah I took a screenshot as a reminder to myself as well haha
@@melaniemikkelsen8565 hey I'm just the Messenger
All this talking about open marriages these days when will they learn that it never works and that it always destroys marriages
When their own relationships and marriages come crashing down before their eyes. Its a lot like communism, it gives the illusion of working until the cracks become impossible to ignore and everything collapses spectacularly.
Because it actually works far more than monogamous relationships do. Lower divorce rate, higher happiness, more trust, more honesty... Yeah, I will stick with how humans were meant to be and not the modern idea of monogamy.
no it doesnt it always ruins people
Well, enjoy your life worried all that time what BS will she pull next.
Dude is going to get burned HARD. She is easily influenced by those around her. In ten years, wait until her divorced carousel riding friends convince her the single life is WAY better than the monotony and day to day grind of a stable marriage.
Bruh >> you do understand how she was manipulated because she was under alot of pressure from someone she is suppose to believe knows how to help her ? You are the kinda guy to say that someone will always be a baby because they cried when someone stabbed them
@@demonbye19 I look forward to you being in this situation due to being naive and gullible. You're the kinda guy who would never believe someone would ever get stabbed so never come to the rescue or even protect yourself against it happening, then have compassion for the attacker when it does happen. Guess which person is going to live long and prosper and which one will be abused repeatedly. Guess which category you fall into
@@Syrin23 iam the kinda Person who can feel empathy and had my own mental health struggles but you know what i dont wish you to be in the Position of being mentaly dead and just wanting anyway out i hope you never have to lose your children and i hope that you learn to show a bit of compasion i never said it would be wrong to not take her back but its dirty to think that just because she was at a mental weak point she would automatically divorce him and be always as guilabe well let me inform you you have forgotten three things: empathy/humans can change / someone doing something at a low point doesnt mean they will so it if they are fine
Also it was never proven that she cheated
Also its not like i am saying he should taket her back even if he didn't want to you nutjob i said that she was mentally weak due to extreme circumstances and this doesn't mean she is always guilable or easy to manipulate
@@Syrin23 i only hope you will mever be in this Kind of Situation where someone takes adventage of your broken mental state a state where you just want a way to end it's only human after all but let me make a thing clear i nevet said op had to take her back or that his feelings were unfounded but you well you just ignored all the factors that played into her Situation and said she is Bad thats why all i can say is that i find it disgusting
Also i am one to help i am learning to be a psychologist / i am voluterring /i donatef all my Organs upon my death you again just thought you would know it all
@@demonbye19 That's all fine, and it sounds like you have set your life on a good course. I am happy for you. Sincerely. The problem is, broken mental state or not, ACTIONS are all that matters, so even if the source of the action could be logically explained, the action alone cannot be overlooked or even forgiven. If someone comes from a broken home, lived on the streets, and was on crack, I would still never forgive that person for killing one of my kids. There are a lot of broken people who come from very dark places who don't make bad decisions or do bad things. The professional sports world is full of such examples. It still is a matter of choice.
I facepalmed at the end though 🤦♂️ NEVER take someone like that back
This dude is a simp, there's no denying that fact.😑
@@ashleyyoung796 Preach
He's a redditor
OP started out strong but flamed into just a pathetic simp in the end
It's so messed up when people say "I had the opportunity to cheat, but i did not" Wtf? If someone sees that as an opportunity, then a predisposition exists in there...
Everything was one sided and only for her, she wanted to cheat without any guilt.
My SIL has a PHD in Psychology. Her 1st job after her doctorate finished was with a very well know psychology outfit in my country. Most clients were there for help with marital advice. She said she was shocked to discover that she was the only one in the very large clinic who wasn't divorced! She left the job within a year because they were all so toxic. She always feared for the relationships of the people they were "helping."
Actually one of the few times i was hoping they would get back together.
Good news...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t think we would think she is attractive.
She basically wanted to cheat and OP didn't have the backbone to not stay with her after this
no.
due to having a spine he left and didnt tolerate her wanting to slut around.
@@FractalPrism.He took back someone that wanted to sleep around... Yeah his spine must be made of jelly
You don't have to put yourself in a bad situation or position to be given the opportunity to do wrong. Opportunity to do right or wrong will always be present. It depends on the character of the person
Yea, but in order to consider it a "cheating opportunity" there must have been an interest from her part to get close to the gray boundary crossing part. Like lets say you're in a bar and someone starts talking to you. Any normal person would've let know (subtle or straightforward) in the beginning of the conversation that they are only interested in a conversation. So the opportunity won't come. But you can also keep the relationship status hidden on purpose and let it escalate to flirting. That's where it becomes an opportunity.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm cheating happens when both parties are or have am interest, but the opportunity doesn't require both to want it. I'll give you an example. 3 men who are married go to a Cafe after work for a quick bite before heading home. 3 women who are there and find them attractive approaches them and offers sex. Two questions. 1,did the women offer the opportunity to the 3 men? And 2, did the 3 men go to the Cafe to find women? Answer thoe questions and you will see that you don't have to want it to get am opportunity to have it
But considering something as an opportunity is what shows how someone processes a situation. If I have a knife in my hand, and take that as an opportunity to chop onions, im a completely different person from someone that'd take it as an opportunity to stab someone. Even if they don't act on it, what way they perceive it, says things about them.
If your partner wants an open relationship there are 2 scenarios
1. They have sights on somebody
2. They already did the deed but wants to cheat without consequences.
She’d not be happy with him sleeping with other women and finding other women attractive but it’s fine for her to do so? People are disgusting. If you want to be free and do stuff with people before you settle down then go be single and do that and only get serious with someone when you’re done with that stuff and actually ready to commit and be loyal; don’t get married if you’re not prepared to respect your partner or consider their feelings. Don’t marry someone if you feel like you haven’t done the stuff you wanna do in life and it’ll mean you end up hurting your partner if you follow through with your desires.
Don’t ruin someone else’s self esteem and trust in people just because you haven’t thought things through properly and spring this on someone just because you want to get your body count higher like wtf body count shouldn’t matter if you love someone.
women want this way more than men do
I can't believe OP is surrounded by so many toxic people.
now we wait for her cheating story in a few month to a year
It’s old and everything has been fine according to recent updates.
Was it hurt or that redpill that made you so bitter? 😂
@@Princetonian4eva Yeah he's bitter because he's not a fool 😂
@@Princetonian4evayou listened to all of that and you still think she won't cheat?
plenty of years to pass, time will erode anything
I don’t understand how couples agree about open relationships it’s clear there’s no love left between them they should divorce before getting into this
As long as he is happy, that's all that matters. That's what everyone wants in the end, to be happy.
With consent*
@astk5214 That goes without saying
No, women want to be happy. don't give a s*** if the guy is or not
This is yet another example of a woman destroying another woman. Yet there are still comments here blaming the guy because he had more past partners than her. The lack of accountability with the people that post comments like that are troubling.
The hypocrisy is astounding with the therapist and the x fiancé, she wants an open marriage but only she benefits from it.
Bro really said “I can fix her” 🗿
Seriously though, wtf kind of therapist is that?
She got away with cheating before the first work breakdown. I read her post 🥺 no clue how they haven't figured it out.
Sad tho.
Dude still hasn't figured it out when he went on his business trip she hit up her old coworker 😭
explaine please
“Are you licensed? Good, then you can explain to her why we aren’t getting married” - absolute LEGEND.
"She wants to sleep with other men once we get married so she wants a op-"
**marriage cancelled instantly**
Any man whispers in her ears she is going to cheat. People really love the situations they are in.
Not sure about this one, nice to have the final update and all, but if all it took for her to consider sleeping with other men was a few external sources I would not be entirely surprised to learn that down the line this relationship is on the rocks again. I get the sunk cost, but honestly seems better to start again from 0 than always have this what if in the back of your mind. Could just me be though.
WTF is wrong with people like you, it is clear this poor women was under severe stress, had amental breakdown, and people around her telling her to have an open marriage. SHE was tricked when she was at her most weakest.
No, not at all, that is generally the agreed upon consensus for cheating and relationships.
But the fact that she even entertained the ideas and in OP's own words got herself opportunities to cheat would be grounds enough for a termination; and the fact that he was lovebombed back into the relationship is nothing short of manipulative both from the parents, friends and the fiancée herself.
@@794307 a relationship is two people, she kept her mental health and the miscarriage from her other half. She then sought opportunity outside the relationship.
I am sorry, but there is no world where that kind of behaviour is acceptable in a relationship. If you are willing to disregard your other half in that way, you are unworthy of them.
@@794307 Doesn't matter if she was in severe stress, she should have backed off instead of entertaining such ideas, she got to a level where she had the courage to ask him for an open relationship openly wtf. I agree with the dudde "if all it took for her to consider sleeping with other men was a few external sources, i wouldn't be surprised to learn that down the line this relationship is on the rocks again"
@@794307classic simp charming response . She is trash, she is easily influenced by anyone has no mind of her own. Do I continue? Or.thats enough reasons for any man with self respect to kick her to the curb.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. She wanted it all along and the therapist was a scapegoat.
In this particular situation i don't blame the op nor his gf. It really was an unnecessary setup of events.
Gf having Cheating parents
Open relationship friends
Miscariage
Stress from work
Insecurities from her partner obviously having slept around (seriously men or women having many partners = less ability to pair bond so valid concern of hers but massively wrong way to go about it)
Pile it ontop of the dumb therapist promoting b.s. and not fixing his gf's mental issues and it was a recipe for disaster.
Im honestly glad they made up. But the op and gf need to do couples counciling.
RN the relationship is too bruised and vulnerable to break up again.
With the b.s. "therapist" fiasco it really is grounds for mentally affecting both op and the gf.
And yes the entire dumb incident could've been avoided if they simply communicated. No therapist or b.s. no friends in cheating with extta steps etc.
It is probably the worst step of all was she voilated how she percieved him as unworthy of hearing her out.
Still wish em all the best. Through the sh!+show they went through...if this is hopefully their lowest point of the relationship their relationship marriage or not in the future will survive.
You misunderstand the unworthy part. She didn't think he was unworthy of hearing her out, she thought *she* was unworthy because she failed to provide things OP wanted and gaslit herself into a dark corner.
@@BoloJolo again communication would've solved this easily.
Its an uncomfortable topic but as adults we need to have sometimes uncomfortable discussions.
Otherwise they'll still act like children and never fully resolve it
The therapist wasn't stupid, they were downright malicious and quite smart about it
Just remember, Women are the vast majority of customers for therapists therefore don't be surprised when theropist can only respond to a mans issues from a female perspective making the whole experience pointless and in some cases insulting.
You know in most of these stories, the cheater at least tries to pretend it's an open relationship they want. But nope, fiance instantly snitched on herself by demanding it's only open for her. Like christ, at least others try to hide it and wait to get possessive until after their partner is more popular than them
It's not even about the open relationship proposal solely, but rather her wanting to be able to fuck around while he wouldn't be allowed to. Wtf?
Open relationships can work, but it can be a delicate subject that needs to be openly discussed on equal grounds. That was anything but that
What’s crazy is that the therapist allowed the wife to follow thru w the wife sleeping around but the husband can’t like she should be trying to prevent and counsel why it’s not a good idea
Ex sounds crazy. Don't keep Crazy in your life. Don't keep someone you have to babysit because they won't take responsibility in your life. Let ex grow up.
He's a dumbass for going back to her. There are so many things he didn't take into account. It sounds like he is wayyy too ok with all the bs she was hiding from him. Also he didn't even take into account that she might've also had someone in mind when she and the therapist suggested an open marriage.
If I remember clearly, there's an update where OOP dump her because the relationship was way too damaged.
@@MrToubrouk Not really, at least I just looked for the post in reddit and that was the last one available from OP's account.
Also in the comment section, OP was rebuking people who told him she's not worth it, and she might do it again. And he thanked all the people who wished them well.
Your psyche is very fragile after a nervous breakdown. A therapist (who is later found with a history of manipulation) guiding that psyche is scary.
A miscarriage is sensitive to a woman. She should’ve told him but with already feeling insecure and stressed, it’s understandable that she kept it to herself.
I’m glad he gave her the benefit of doubt before completely cutting her off. And I’m glad they postponed the wedding. They have to start from scratch and rebuild their relationship.
So OP has already decided to be a doormat and pair his life with someone entertaining open marriage as long as it doesn't become her fault. Nothing more to add then really. Another W for cake-eaters.@@Homiloko2
@@MoJones9919I had the chance to(cheat)
How would you explain that??
I bet by open relationship she meant " I will go sleeping around while you stay home and wait for me" A lot of people are using "open relationship" as the free b*tch pass when they expect their partners to be "exclusive", open relationship should be a thing only when its available for both
Marriage is still defined the same. It has not changed. Open marriages are not a thing. Poly is not a thing. If you do either you are neither married or in a relationship.
Reddit is a small, weird place.
That therapist is clever though. The relationship going to shit means that the therapist will get more money in the long run.
This is one of the reasons I will not go see a therapist I have been on the fence for a few years but I’ve come to realize that a lot of the therapist out there are more into social engineering and planting concepts and ideas in your head rather then help you or give the tools needed to manage your life in a way that is organic to you.
That most likely was why the therapist was like "he was not what i expected" when he entered the therapy session because he was calm and collected. Hence it did not sit right with her. People are always calm and collected are very hard to manipulate which was most likely what those 2 were gonna do if he spoke unnessarily
"She wanted me to go to her therapist with her." If she was seeing a therapist, you made the mistake of asking her to marry you.
FACT!
Seriously therapy is a red flag