Jupiter Ascending - Nostalgia Critic
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2015
- You know Wachowskis…COME ON! The Nostalgia Critic reviews 2015's sci-fi bomb, Jupiter Ascending.
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So everyone is ignoring the fact that Tatum is a half man half wolf who lost his.....wings?
He must really like Red Bull
Yes. Wolf wings. The wings that normal wolves have.
He has more in common with a dog than a human, and that's why he has wings.
Remember Petwings from Saito games?
What, you mean your dogs can't fly? Psh, loser.
Makes me think of Marchosias in The Lesser Key of Solomon, and that's a problematic book to think about.
Wait, if she's the reincarnation of her mother, does that mean that she gave birth to herself?
Oh wait nevermind. It was so boring I got confused and actually had to go back to re-watch that part.
AwesomeSpider4 same, also do you what Sailor Jupiter is?
Christian Escandon a Sailor Scout? I never watched that show.
AwesomeSpider4 What show?
Sailor Moon. The critic reviewed.
I love how Channing Tatum, the guy who agreed to be in the Step Up series, refused to promote this film. That says more than any words could.
Mila Kunis was once asked to describe the plot of this film; she couldn't.
Because it’s a 170 million dollar fetish film...
Channing was better in She's the man. His character, Duke, was clumsy and shy which makes him likable. It was funny to see him asked a girl is hse likes cheese, seeing him helping Viola was adorable. He's a really nice guy! In Jupiter ascending, Channing is a strong guy who has a ship and that's it. Not very interresting or charming :S
That "I love dogs" line made me experience "I hate sand" again.
Somehow, it was even worse.
I hate sand, is a GIFT.
Though i despise the Star Wars prequels (especially attack of the clones) i gotta admit, this was even worse
Hey, at least the sand one was memeable
The worst part is we have no idea whether she means it as A: They are cute, and I see you as a person so who cares?
Or B: I am soo into beastiality just mentioning dogs made me wet
Jupiter Jones would actually sound kinda cool as the name of a cartoon character. "The Galactic Adventures of Jupiter Jones"
thats what they should ve called this movie
It sounds good as an alias but not a real name.
To me, Jupiter Jones sounds like a cat name. So why would she love dogs?
*Grumpy Oldman*
That's probably because of Jones from Alien.
I would watch the hell out of that!
"I CREATE LIFE!" is what I should say whenever my teacher tells me my animation is terrible
"and i can destroy it." is what he says when burning the animation.
If I ever have kids that's how I'm going to announce the pregnancy.
LOL, I was just about to say that!
OOOOMG DEAD IM GONNA SAY THIS NOW XD
I should say this when im cooking
"We do not discriminate against the Wachowskis for anything except that they made Jupiter Ascending." - Such a great line!
Yeah, that intro about proper representation and especially that disclaimer made me laugh a lot. :-D Nostalgia Critic usually somewhat avoids the woke/antiwoke topics and arguments, and although this poke at the "proper representation" madness was relatively subtle (compared to the insanity flying around the net when it comes to these topics), it was really funny.
And in all fairness, Hollywood in general just cannot seem to write compelling female characters. We got Ripley and Beatrix Kiddo and that other woman from Prometheus.. and a couple others but damn… more often than not they’re weak af
A Feminist tale about a woman who does nothing meaningful, gets kidnapped constantly and orders a bunch of men to kill and get killed by other men for her benefit.
Real powerful character there.
Probably would've work better if she was the villain.
*cocks shotgun*
and really tends to the feminazi mind too.
I hate when “true love” is part of a woman’s epic destiny when it is NEVER mentioned in any epic destinies for guys. Women can aspire to be more than someone else’s significant other.
To be fair it sounds like the perfect feminist fantasy, zero effort and all payoff, it really speaks to the cultural marxist mindset behind feminism.
uhhhhh...she might wanna wanna flip that maxipad over if she wants to use it an extremely bizarre yet correct and useful way
I know right, that shit was so stupid!
+PeachesforMe Okay, obnoxious transphobia aside, Lana wasn't the one in the scene. The woman who was should at least have known better.
I thought that too
Like, you want it to get the blood, so you put a fucking strap of glue that will just hurt/open the wound later?
Way to fucking go girl
+Nexis siempreaqui And because it's so absorbent, it actually doesn't help the wound clot and stop bleeding.
I know right? Even the men in the prop department should have noticed which side is supposed to come in contact with skin by simply examining it.
So you have this girl who finds out she's queen of the Earth... yet you name her after the wrong planet. Terra might sound a bit cliche, but I would've taken that name more seriously than Jupiter Jones.
+Auklet Basicly the same premise as in Sailor Moon.
not to mention that SOUNDS like a girl's name. Jupiter is better suited to being a title or rank
+Angelus Only, Sailor Moon actually did shit.
Antonio SCENDRATE GATTICO :) No argument here.
+Auklet Terra Jones actually sounds pretty cool
when he yell "GO!!!" i think he was talking to the audience, like go away, it's your last chance!
We completely misinterpreted him
Eddie Redmayne got a well-deserved Razzie for this movie, thus entering the elite leage of actors who received both an Oscar and a Razzie during their career.
Michael keaton should've won that oscar (for Birdman), not bitchy eddie
Well, Eddie Redmayne was pretty good in fantastic beasts
John Striker Eddie Redmayne is a fantastic actor, but yeah I agree, Keaton deserved it instead.
@@johnstriker480 do you know for what role Eddie Redmayne won the Oscar for? Stephen Hawking.
It's still hard to believe there is such a legion. Well I cansee it exist but it's still hard to believe
"I love dogs, I've always loved dogs"
"This is a new breed of dumb"
Was that pun intended?
Atzyock *ba dum tss*
I read this comment as soon as he said it...
It's an internet review. Of COURSE it was intended.
Well to be fair, Jupiter isn't that bad a name. She could have been named Uranus
That stinks.
*badum tish*
Goodnight everybody
Autobot Productions I think we managed to get to the Butt of the joke here
RobAndTheChaps Yes, it's all behind us now.
shush, your starting to Crack me up
"I love dogs. I've always loved dogs."
I'm surprised that there wasn't a bestiality joke made at that point.
They practically could've with no questions asked if they were allowed to.
Yeah, especially since you could easily have her say something like “We can still be close in mind; this doesn’t have to be about children.”
@UCRJbGvgpCbzip3k70MftMqQ Yeah, no. We're not starting this war.
Keep your bigotry and vitriolic bile in your head where it belongs.
@@joshuaseagondollar2495 i take it whoever you were arguing with either deleted their comment or their channel, from the sound of things i say good riddance either way.
That was the bestiality joke right there.
"BELLA IS MAKING FUN OF YOU"
Man... That's harsh even for this movie...
The villain should team up with Zod. Then there's no doubt that THEY WILL FIND HIM!
Keva the Half-Kestora best comment ever
I was thinking the same!!
Nate J. With Randy Newman writing a song about it!
And Shamalan adding a complicated story with an expected or contrived twist for that song and immediately getting $100 million dollars.
Keva the Half-Kestora With Snyder's 3D enhancements
"Technically speaking, I'm an alien." "Shut up, Meg." *likes*
I scrolled upon this while he said that. Though it really means nothing that made my next 15 minutes. 😃
“Even Bella is making fun of you.BELLA”😂😂😂
That Line Kills Me Everytime!! 😂😂😂
Yeah, even Bella doesn't have the right to make fun of anyone.
@@legoking6165 Yeah....still doing it anyway.
That's a new low...
"I have more in common with a dog than I have with you."
...Greatest pick-up line ever?
I love watching Doug's face turn red as he yells then slowly fade back to white when he calms down
Sophia Goodman-Merel it is very musing lol
It's pretty cute
Kinda like the Hulk.
One time it turned straight up purple but that’s when he was holding in laughter.
Wait, she put the maxi pad wrong! she put the part with glue touching the wound. How can a woman not know about that stuff?
It must be a sign of how little she really cared about the role by the time they filmed that scene. "Oh, shit! The pad's backwards...Aw, fuck it! Not like anyone's going to see this movie anyway."
they should used a tampon...
You know what's funny? The military basically made "Bullet Tampons." Which is exactly what you might think they are. Just a tampon you put in a bullet wound to stop excessive bleeding.
Don't they have this quick clot powder now? idk, maybe they use what you mentioned in conjunction with the quick clot.
because shes never used one before
Next sequel: "Saturn Descending"; then: "Uranus expanding"; then: "Neptune Contracting"; then "Pluto Undecided" and finally: "Nibiru Revenant".
“Uranus Expanding”
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
We've decided on Pluto. It's not a planet.
@@skyblade7438 that pisses me off
@@gregorymirabella1423 to bad
this comment should be the highlight lmao
Why is it that a story about a rocket riding space cowgirl named Jupiter Jones sounds really interesting
Yeah! That could make for a cool series on Cartoon Network.
And she's herding SPACE COWS! .... Actually I'd watch something like that
So, like if Roxy Rocket was based off of Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon? Actually, that's be cool, especially if Joan Jett got the Runaways back together to make the theme song.
During a AMA on Reddit someone asked "Hey Channing what was Jupiter Acending?" And Channing responds and I fucking quote "I seriously don't know what is was thinking when I said yes to that movie."
You Tube nope, that isn't what he said at all. He was asked "Jupiter Ascending? What was that?" and replied "Great question. I have the same one to myself."
That quote could sum up not just this movie, but many others as well.
so what is the true...
I think we all know what he was thinking.
"This will be my matrix"
"The higher the screams, THE HIGHER THE PAYCHEQUE!"
Has Malcolm ever seriously considered voice acting? I've noticed in lot's of other videos, but he's got a really great voice for it.
Your wish came true
@@INoahGuy1 Ooh, what’s he in?
@@DuelaDent52 This independent animated project called the Lackadaisy Cats.
He is into voice acting and he also does some for Black Sands entertainment and their Kids to Kings series.
So bees can sense royalty
So does that mean that Nicholas cage is a king
Well, he does have a pyramid to get buried in when he dies.
Always has been
@@DrDolan2000 It is known.
6:08 Sailor Jupiter Voice Actor is officially the cutest thing in this review
Who?
5:58
That I agree.
She's way too young to be the original actress
Jupiter Jones the Janitor.
Jesus.
And a Mary Sue in my opinion!
Alliteration
i swar, this mvie was supposed to be a self-aware comedy, when hey went all "empereor's new groove" ad they paused and mocked the movie .it would have been so much better tht way
Swiper X Mary sue complaints are always bullshit anyway so that's not a critisism
How is she a Mary Sue if she's totally useless, does nothing and just constantly gets kidnapped? Isn't that the opposite of a Mary Sue?
"I am destined for great things, and to find the one true love of my life."
What a vague, shitty destiny. ANYONE can find their true love, and "great things" could literally mean anything.
“I CREATE LIFE!”
I actually laughed so hard when I first saw this film.
Jupiter Ascending
Mercury Rising
Why are all the planets going up?
Which way even IS up in space?
@@masterofthelag8414 there isn't
Get ready for Uranus Elevating!
They're not. They're getting high to bear the stupidity
Here is a better question why does this movie exist
So this is why Jessica Jones doesn't talk to her sister...
Darkling276 How about Indiana Jones
She doesn't since she married Roger Rabbit.
Luciana Vila Guillen and she has a son called Peter Parker
But none of the Joneses like to talk about what happened to their great-aunt Justine.
Look it up, kids.
What about Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones?
I love that look Sean Bean makes when he says the bees line, like 'what the fuck am I doing in this movie'
Grumpycat ‘i got killed off by an inbred bastard just to wind up in this piece of shit.
Reminds me of the look he gives in Silent Hill: Revelation (2012), when he realizes he's about to watch Carrie-Anne Moss and Kit Harington fight over whether or not his adopted daughter is evil while strapped down by his wrists and sitting in the crotch area of a demonic god statue. In a movie whose once-male director has *also* since come out as a trans woman. 😉
Sean it is so they can kill you off later.
*Eddie Redmayne working at a fast food place*
Eddie: So would you like your food here or to GO!?!
"I'm destined for great things and will find the true love of my life"
Wait this is a real movie?? It's not a Twilight parody or something??
Even Twilight parodies are better than this
The first Twilight parody (Vampires Suck) was more coherent and charming than this shit, and the characters were actually better looking than the canon counterparts, the girl didn't have a mannish jaw, the vampire was actually hot and the wolf didn't look like an alpaca.
Ladies & Gentlemen, We're watching a big budgeted version of "The Room IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"
+James Faraci Oh my god now I want Tommy Waseau in space "You're tearing me apart Jupiter! Oh hello doggy.. I like doggies I've always liked doggies"
+nerdcontrol22
"They're going to kill everyone on the planet and turn them into an immortality elixir."
"Hahahaha! What are story, Caine!"
If theres anything I want Hollywood to remake is this with Tommy Wiseau adlibbing lines as Jupiter Jones or they could always make it into a one man show... no no I don't think our mortal minds can handle such excellence.
+nerdcontrol22 Guessing "I love dogs" is a more subtle way of saying "so how's you sex life?"
Well Jupiter Waseau would just lead it up with "I love dogs I've always loved dogs,so hows your sex life?" he's very romantic you know?
I met a woman named April Flood. took every ounce of willpower not to start giggling.
I hope she brings her sister, May Flowers.
April flood. that sounds like Cook Poo for me (you know which reference i am making)
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!
April's parents should have had pity and not named her April Flood. Yikes.
My last name is King. My parents almost named me Storm King, which sounds badass as hell. They ended up changing it because Storm King happened to be a villain in a series they started reading. So yeah.
Fun fact: this is one of the rare moments where Sean Bean doesn’t die
Also National Treasure and Flight Plan!
26:15 that delivery from Malcolm is GOLD.
The Higher the SCREAM,
the Higher the *PAYCHECK*
I can't believe they ripped off my 12 year old sister's fanfiction.
Radio Sparks was it a self insert fanfic
Maybe you could sue
@@thatonequietkid2453 of course it was.
copystrike?!?
Add that to the Side-pot
She didn't even use the pad right, pretty sure the sticky part didn't absorb blood...
When the movie can't even get one thing right.
"OK, this part's the sticky side, so the blood will stick to it! Genius!"
ShadeSlayer1911 Not to mention the actress; how would a woman of her age not know how a maxi pad works?
I think, just a wild guess, that she was trying to use the glue as a way to close up the wound a bit.
To be fair, Mila Kunis has a team following her around to take care of such trivial nonsense as her time of the month
"Create characters, make them relatable, put them through a jorney that will change who they are by the end of it"... followed by a picture of Daenerys Targaryen...
Boy talk about hilarious in hindsight.
The first Star Wars Trilogy did EXACTLY THIS, with Luke Skwalker.
The Star Wars ONLY did the first and third.
The Star Wars (Sequel) Trilogy (at first) did do all three but IMMEDIATELY cast them aside when making the last two.
Osmosis Jones Vs. Jupiter Jones: Civil war
Casey Jones wins.
Indiana Jones reigns supreme
Computer Jones from Look Around You is the best.
That "bees are designed to recognize royalty" line is probably one of the dumbest, most nonsensical movie lines that has ever been written by someone who isn't David "I know you're Batman because you smile like an orphan" Goyer.
I mean, it *could* work in a fantasy setting of sorts...
actually it this kind of stuff really works. I put a Dung Beadle near this movie and The Shawshank Redemption and the bug went strait for Jupiter Ascending because they are designed to recognize crap
well they have a queen
That's an arbitrary criticism.
@@AXharoth I mean, that's just our title for them though. They aren't actually royal. Plus their bees and she's human.
the wachowskis should make games, honestly,
exposition, worldbuilding, giant setpeices, and action, all work much better in games
it can work in movies but its easier in games
***** Yeah, it's not like games don't have already amazing stories and good characters... fuck me, le'ts drown all video gaming in shit!
Brandon Roberts You mean: make Indigo Prophecy 2?
***** Didn't they have a hand in Matrix Online? I don't remember anymore why it failed, but it wasn't very popular.
DeeGeeFi MMO's are reaaly hard to get off the ground
***** I was thinking that during the review, but even the part where the hero destroys the entire kingdom singlehandedly still wouldn't work out in a video game..
The whole video was absolute comedy but the best part was when they cut to that sideways clip. Paul Giamatti yelling fuck was just absolutely perfect in that moment 😂
I agree!
Star Wars: a tribute to every sci-fi film ever made (at the time).
Jupiter ascending: the same thing (but bad).
You think Jupiter Jones sounds dumb? What about *TASERFACE?!*
At least the only person who takes Taserface seriously is Taserface.
Bronson Ferrigno Yeah and I don't see how Jones is a stupid last name. It's really common.
Bronson Ferrigno yeah, but that was the hole idea with his name
What was her second choice, Ur-anus?
what about FRANCIS
Eddie Redmayne's performance was almost genius in its stupidity... That made no sense...
Lol, I would watch this movie just for Eddie Redmayne's batshit crazy performance.
Do you think the Oscars do take backs?
Bryan Rue Well, that's why he got Academy Award, no?
Sezune Mizuhana Exactly! It's like taking Al Pacino's Oscar away just because he was in Jack & Jill (I hate even writing the name of that movie).
Bryan Rue Yup. Just hearing that title makes me wanna puke.
Why don't people talk about this movie like they do Twilight and 50 shades?
It's the same thing!!! I'm convinced the protag is supposed to be a blank slate for women to fantasize as.
She was a nobody who found out she was actually "royalty", most men in the universe (or "verse") are interested in her, including a half dog (dare I say "werewolf") man who keeps taking his shirt off. She also seems to be written as an awkward character whose hobbies include being kidnapped and having her marriages crashed regularly.
I haven't watched this one in a long time and I have never watched Twilight nor 50 shades, but based on reviews I've watched, it feels too similar. I'd say it is a nerdy Twilight in space.
Please correct me, people who also watch 4 year old videos and comment on them.
Twilight isn't an action-movie.
Twilight and 50 shades impacted the movie industry for years with not just one awful movie, but a whole saga, and they only got worse with every movie. It's easy to forget a bad movie, but 5 years of an awful saga? With books and annoying fanbases? That's harder to forget.
Jupiter Ascending was bad, but with no fanbase or lasting impact at all.
Not even The Room had a lasting impact until several reviewers shed some light on it as a so-bad-it's-good movie, wich it is. Jupiter Ascending is just bad-bad.
Cause Twilight and 50 Shades emphasized the "romance."
50 Shades is literally a fan fiction of Twilight. Author admitted it, LOL.
Because this movie sucks ass damn it
"I CREATE LIFE!!!" Will go down as one of my favourite bad movie quotes.
I can't stop laughing at the fact Critic is unable to find enough insults
I laughed at that and how he said "Stop the film" when he couldn't take the name Juniper Jones seriously so he replaced it with Duck Dodgers
The bee's being commanded by her was the midechloreans.
wut?
I don't understand your comment, Super Saiyan Pikachu.
+Albus Kane a joke about the force.
.... Whatever you say, Gokachu.
...Get out.
A couple of years later.....this was actually the first time I found out one of the Wachowskis transitioned.
That's how off the radar they were to me after the Matrix.
Let me blow your mind even more, the other has since transitioned too.
That's how irrelevant they are.
@@nothanks7063 rip
The last thing I remember them making was Speed Racer, and I didn't even know that was a Wachowski film until just recently.
"We apologize for losing track of this sketch."
acctually if your born on the ocean you take on the nationality of your parents. So no she never was technically an alien.
yeah she was, in AMERICA
In legal terms it is called 'Ius Sanguinus' or 'Right of the Blood'. The other system used to give somebody a nationality is 'Ius Soli' or 'Right of the Ground', this is the system used in the US and probably why the Wachowki's assumed she would be an alien I guess?
But the USA doesn't use ius soli, at least not exclusively. Children of American citizens born overseas are still citizens.
"Am I even in the room right now?" I am so using that.
The phrase or the way he says it?
Both.
Sailor Jupiter joins the batt- oh wait they're gone now
Jupiter Jones sounds like a cartoon from the 70's
It really does, it soundsl like it'd be placed right in between He-Man and Jem.
In reference to the maxi pad scene...
I have a friend who is terrified of blood and one day he got a bloody nose and it was really bad. He was in the bathroom freaking out and his sister ran in and said "Don't worry Brother I will save you!" and shoved tampons in his nostrils. The bleeding subsided after a few minutes and he didn't faint so those tampons helped out A LOT.
if this movie had been a self awre comedy like Spaceballs
Someone saw She's the Man. Nice!
Awww, she sounds nice. I would probably freak out, then laugh and only then I would help my brother.
OseiBayard3h If I remember correctly. Most of the criticism for that scene wasn’t for the fact she was using a maxi pad as a bandaid. But because she was using the wrong side of it. Also cool.
Yeah they're actually ideal for broken nose because they hold open nasal passages, significantly decreasing the chance you'll need a nose job.
It's still bizarre she'd use the sticky side of the pad...
The bees recognize royalty sounds like a shamalan twist
Elstupidonoone1 “what a twist!” Sorry had to. Haha robot chicken
I just not realized it sounds like "D'OH!!!"
This movie is like when you click on every single line of dialogue on every single NPC in a BioWare game.
Jupiter Jones' name could have been even worse. It called have been something like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Clove Clover Hahahahaha, yeah. But I don't know if My Immortal is worst story than Jupiter Ascending.
@@helixcrown7429 My Immortal is bad, like REALLY bad. But it strangely has a charm that makes it So Bad, It's Good. Jupiter Ascending was just a clusterfuck.
Thank you for reviving my trauma.
FILM THEORY: Jupiter Jones is the future cousin of Pluto Nash.
But hey, that’s just a theory, a Film Theory! And cut.
I'm waiting for their sister Uranus Barb.
PLUTO NASH - I was trying to think of that when I heard Jupiter Jones
Uh hey can I get a ticket to see Pluto Nash in 3D? Get the reference?
And Pluto Nash's Father is *Cypher Rage*
The "Shut up, Meg." Makes me laugh every time! 😂😂😂
Woman: what’s your name
Jupiter: Jupiter jones
Me: isn’t that the name of a Saturday morning cartoon character 🤔
Don't know which name is worse: Jupiter Jones or Cypher Rage....
Cypher Raige is laughably bad, Jupiter Jones is just stupid.
+tominatorxx Now, people give their kids stupid names
+tominatorxx CYPHER RAGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
+tominatorxx Jupiter Jones sounds like a Jessica Jones reboot or rip-off. Cypher Rage sounds like a Mega-Man villain.
+tominatorxx I'm voting Cypher Rage.
I died when Eddie said "How dare you!!!!" XD
+Supermovies DENIED, SIT DOWN!!!!
alesin1992 Cypher Raige?
Supermovies
Yup. That name is as stupid as Jupiter Jones.
"Hao dhere yew"
*screechy puppet voice* CYPHER RAIIIIGE
"Hello, i'm the female antagonist, my name is Jupiter, but my friends can call me Zeus."
You missed one, they ripped off "The Verse" from Firefly.
And Firefly is a rip-off of Cowboy Bebop.
I just want a scene where Jupiter doesn't know what is going on and she starts running away from the bees that start to follow her. Sean Bean and Channing Tatum then bow to her because she is the queen and do nothing to save her as she runs around screaming in the garden = would have made the movie a classic : )
This would have been more in character than what they actually put in the movie
It also would have made sense with the bees as well since when bees sense a new queen nearby, the queens usually fight to the death.
With the maxi pad, did she put the sticky side on his wound?
Yes, yes she did.
She's damn stupid.
Sticky side down = Devil
Shit, that would sting.
Haha and this is the person they apparently want to lead the galactic empire? Yep I'm sure she'll make some great decisions.
I guess you could say that Jupiter Ascending is the 2010’s equivalent to Battlefield Earth.
HANDS DOWN, one of the funniest nostalgia critic reviews I've seen! xD
"And you're name madam?"
"Intu"
"Intu what?"
"Uranus"
"HOW DARE YOU!?"
Kryptic Studios Corp *your
@@luizfelipevbf5567 Ur
*your
I cannot BELIEVE this came out two years ago.
Actually, I can't believe this came out at all
Surprisingly enough, I'd rather watch Twilight over this. Bleh. That's how bad this movie is. Bella Swan is a more compelling character than perpetual damsel in distress.
its a Masterpiece
@@ShadeSlayer1911 Twilight had beautiful scenery and the music choices were quite good.
2015 was 4 days ago, when the sequel triology wasn't a desastre.
What if here dad's name was Indiana Jones and the money was from one of his adventures??????
Best line of the movie. "Congratulations, and my deepest condolences."
The fact that she attempted to stop Cain's bleeding with a maxi-pad isn't what's dumb about the scene; what's dumb is that she puts the sticky side to the bleeding wound instead of the absorbent side! This movie becomes even dumber the more you dig in!
Exactly! I don't understand the logic of that :'D
As a side note, womens toiletries (Tampons/pads) are meant to be absorbent of blood. I've heard several stories of lives being saved because it's something to staunch the wound (usually at car accident scenes).
Probably the one 'logical' thing in this movie, as awkward as it is.
Shame she didn't put the absorbent side on the wound, but the side with the adhesive.
Lady ButtocksToot I noticed that XDD It ruins the logic of it, but if she held it the right way, it would've been well done.
Commissar_Dan*Presses enter a lot to hopefully make a read more even though the adhesive side isn't the gross bit*
Think it just sits in the panties with no problem? No lol, it's just to keep it attached to the underwear.
the funny thing is, that sanitary pads were originally used as adhesive bandages for injured soldiers during the first world war. The nurses attending the soldiers found the pads to be ideal for their sanitary needs as a nice little coincidence.
Fool! Don't point out the Logic O_O! Don't you know every time you say something the Wichowski's did right, they get closer to finishing their next movie-?!
Wichowski: We'd like to announce to our public we're filming a sequel to this film; Marry Mars!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Mila Kunis speaks
Everyone: "Shut up Meg"
She puts the Maxi pad on upside down too. Like the adhesive side is going to absorb anything. To this day Jupiter wonders why no pads work to control her bleeding.
When he actually started calling her Duck Dodgers 😂😂😂
My dad cracked me up with this movie. He watched it almost everyday for a month claiming it was the greatest movie ever made. I kept telling him though, "No dad, this movie is awe full. everything is awe full." But he refused to listen to me. Then one day, I came up stairs for breakfast and my dad gave me this series face like something terrible had happened. I was like "What?" My dad looked down at the counter and spoke in a solemn voice, "Jupiter Ascending is ...a terrible movie." I tried so hard not to laugh and replied, "Um, yeah. I know welcome to the party every one has been waiting for you."
Apparently, he kept falling asleep throughout the movie. Skipping most of the dialogue until he decided to watch the movie early morning. HA, oh man, he really use to love that movie.
midevilgirl to be honest the best kind of film is the one that grants you a good sleep
midevilgirl poor dad xD
@Christopher Simon And 13th Warrior is *still* a better version of Beowulf than either of the Beowulf movies.
Christopher Simon How many times can you watch a movie without actually seeing it?
@@KnakuanaRka More than you know
7:31 fun fact, Eddie Redmayne was in a Thomas and Friends movie after this
Not even one Juniper Jones joke? Granted I never saw the show but the intro is amazing!
When i hear her name is "Jupiter" i get reminded of that girl in Lady In The Water called "Story".
Seriously how the fuck do you actually think it's a good idea to name someone like that.
At least Story was some weird mystical creature, so you could at least use that as an excuse for her dumb name. No such luck with Jupiter Jones.
Also, she's an alligory, so she has a legitamate reason to be named that.(I said legitamate, not good)
Jupiter is the Roman equivalent of Zeus, so it's not even a feminine name. At least something like Venus or Hera would have been slightly more believable in that regard.
Lol theres a girl on my street named Story
I have an older sister named Long Story
and a younger sister named Short Story.
I have an honest mother named True Story
and an aging father named Old Story.
And a dead grandfather named Ghost Story.
Jupiter Jones' name is even stupider considering she's the first descendant of a RUSSIAN IMMIGRANT.
Even worse, Jupiter is a masculine name.
Perhaps something as sensible as "Yuliya Petrov" may have worked both ways (Russian-sounding and a pun on "Jupiter").
She is a Russian immigrant
I've tried to watch the movie and couldn't get pass the 10 minute mark. However, the mother actually tells her husband that naming their child after a planet is stupid. Hell, the planet is named after a MALE GREEK GOD!
+P.Z. Arnott Yeah, why she can't be call Venus or Luna instead? At least it would make sence.
From 0:00 to 2:27 the exact sales pitch to the heads at Disney for the Star Wars sequel trilogy.
And love how he actually got Amanda Miller the actual American voice dubbed version of Sailor Jupiter in this video.
Poor, *POOR* Sean Bean.
Still love him, though. 👍🏻
Mama Bri With him in this and pixels. I wonder if this is one of the seven hells.
So......bees can recognize royal people? So if the Queen of England walked by a beehive, the bees would follow her around, too?
What I was thinking lmao
RPGFreak901 I so want that to be true. I can just imagine the queen leading armies of bees into battle
Bees, my god
Also, you better not listen to any Rock and Roll.
RPGFreak901 so Macaulay Culkin is a king?
RPGFreak901 I have never been stung by a bee, wasps and hornets, yes, but wasps and hornets are evil SOBs
"I love dogs I've always loved dogs....D'ooooh!"
Idekaji Well she did make out with Brian on that one episode of Family Guy didn't she?
Idekaji Sounds like a line from The Happening.
electricmastro
"...What?....Nooooo" xD
Is it bestiality if they look human?
Idekaji she is obviously a furry.....
Why does beeing surrounded by bees warrant a whimsical chuckle? Wouldn’t it have bee-n at least marginally more interesting for her to bee freaked out by the swarming insects instead of reacting like any cardboard protagonist?
Btw, the original release date for the movie was delayed by almost 8 months for re-shoots. I wonder what it looked like BEFORE the re-shoots. I can't imagine it being worse than what we got :)))
This movie can be summed up in 3 words. "Shut up Meg"
thetony458 or shut up everyone
I thought it was "I CREATE LIFE!!!"
That actually makes too much sense. It sounds like Meg from Family Guy went on a Sci-Fi bender and made a self-insert Sci-Fi story, and Peter wanted her to stop her from reading the full thing in the middle.
"What can I say Peter... It isn't (can't beat), Empire."
Was there someone named Meg in this or is it just a family guy reference
A teen girl is actually royalty from another planet, dimension or realm and finds this out once she becomes a teenager?
Let's see... there's Sailor Moon, Winx Club, even LoliRock did this better without seeming so asinine about it.
And W.I.T.C.H. with Ellion.
5:58
You know Lolirock?
"I love dogs. I've always loved dogs." A new breed of dumb.
Actually the reason Frank Langella played skeletor is because his son loved He-Man and begged him to do it. (And he actually admits he had a lot of fun playing skeletor) same reason Raul Julia played M Bison in street fighter as his final role before his death. (Mind you he practically carried that film as the best actor and he was practically on his deathbed fighting cancer)
Dolf Lundren has the opposite feelings about being in the film, he hates it and wishes he’d never done it.