My husband and I are child free (we are in our early 40s) and have no regrets. I never was interested in having kids (husband said it didn't matter either way as he has nieces and nephews and didn't feel like he was missing out) so instead we are parents to a 13 year old Shih Tzu named Steve. Steve goes on plenty of adventures and vacations with us. We love it!
For me I am not in a good financially place to have kids, plus the health risk I have and give the same issues my kids is not right. Plus health bills is ao high for unhealthy issues.
45 years old and child free with no regrets. I like to joke I am selfish and don't want to share but the reality is I have never wanted kids. I am glad it's become a normal conversation now. Even harder is when you want to make a medical choice to not have kids doctors freak. I started asking when I was 21 and didn't get a hysterectomy till I was 35. Multiple doctors told me they didn't want to get sued if I changes my mind
I am 40 years old and no regrets. The only downside is sometimes you can be left out on invitations, as people don’t thing you would want to go if you have no children. That’s the only downside I have noticed.
My spouse and I were team no kids until about our mid 30's. But slowly we just felt like something was missing for us. You can't really put your finger on why sometimes. Now we have the most awesome son and our life is even better. I think finding someone who is 100% one way or the other on having kids can be challenging because most people's lives and experiences are constantly changing. I wanted to be a teacher my whole life and then did some student teaching and quickly changed my major. I was soooo sure I would love teaching. I was wrong.
Same here, in our mid 30's , now we have the most amazing daughter and couldn't imagine life any other way.we we're also professional dancers so with such a busy schedule it didn't really hit us until we were ready to retire from dancing professionally and start a new chapter! Now we own a ballet studio and teach 😊
I think our infrastructure in the us needs to change for kids. The cost of daycare costs more than rent in some areas. The cost of childcare in general, babysitting and nannies all adds up. A lot of people don’t live near their families which makes it harder to not have that support nearby. There’s not enough spaces for kids outside of the home that doesn’t cost a lot when it’s not nice enough to go to the park.
I did not have kids until I was 37. My wife was 35. We had two children. My daughter is now 22 and my son is 19. They have brought us great joy and were the most fulfilling accomplishment of my life. My son was home this weekend from college. Just enjoyed him visiting. We are all taking a big vacation together this summer. Looking forward to seeing where they go in life.
Hey Shelby! I'm childfree by choice. Totally could have had them, but didn't want to. Now I'm 53, happily married and doing exactly what I want to do in life. I think kiddos are great, but I don't regret my decision even for a second. Life is good, my dogs are my babies, and I'm already semi-retired (I do youtube and that's it).
Childless by choice. I feel like any time someone mentions it they instantly assume it means we hate kids or something equally dramatic. The truth is that we've seen most of our friends have kids, I babysat and nannied a lot, I worked in a preschool, and I can see how much work it is. I don't take the commitment of having children lightly, it affects every part of your life, and for most people that is a desired and worthwhile change. On the flip side, I also see how much emotional and financial stress it puts on a relationship and it's not hard to see that it can be a driving factor in divorce or separation. -- My partner and I have been together for 20 years, children is something we discussed at many points and neither of had a burning desire. We love kids, I adore my nephew, we love paying with other people's kids, it doesn't annoy me I hear loud kids in public. However, we're also very content with our lives, we enjoy the freedom to travel, the lack of financial stress, being able to invest time in our relationship, careers, and other hobbies. We don't feel that we need to have kids in order to have purpose.
I knew early on I didn’t want to have kids and have never regretted my decision not to. Kids are great and I worked with them when I was in high school and college. I recommend that everyone spend some time with babies and children if they can. Offer to babysit for a friend or relative. Volunteer for a youth organization. There are lots of ways to support kids and spending some time with them may better inform one’s decision to have their own or not. Looking forward to hearing your take, Shelby!
Love your vlogs, they always motivate me. I waited until my mid thirties to have kids, mainly because I wasn’t sure I wanted to and needed to meet the right person too. I remember thinking when I was younger that I was not the kind of person to have kids but am happy I did it as I enjoyed it. Only thing is it has been so expensive and I can’t imagine with the current economy doing it now. I can understand why so many Gen Z and Millennials aren’t wanting to have kids.
Shelby, I really love how you are loving tennis! Your exuberance is infectious. It was nice you gave the simple reason for the slow down of your vlogs. Personally, I love the quality you put into each vlog and you are the consumnate professional
A childfree lifestyle allowed my husband and I to work super hard at our side hustles in addition to our full time jobs. We moved to Mexico in our late 30s where I was able to fully retire while he focuses on a few passion projects. Obviously no regrets!
The cabinet you made (if you still have it), you could buy some white bins to put into the shelves and this can be used as 'storage' - as in a few bins for Sam's clothes, maybe one for camera equipment, one to stash stuff away before filming/people get there etc.
I am 31, been with my husband for 13 now. We have a relatively full life with three dogs, family, and friends. I’d say we are able to be more present in those areas of life because we don’t have children. We are definitely able to be there for his aging parents far more than their children with their own kids. I’ve never wanted kids and do not see that changing.
We had one kid in our late 30's. When I was growing up it seemed like only children were kind of rare...but now a lot of my peers only have one kid. For us it was due to age, health issues - and ultimately feeling content and settled in our lives and careers with only one. (We love our little family of three.) My nieces and nephews in the next generation (now in their mid-20's to mid-30's) are all unmarried and childless. I feel like serious relationships and kids are mostly future thoughts to them, and I totally understand why: lives today have so much more possibility and potential...and complications and difficulty. It often takes longer to find your way. And we're slowly understanding there are countless ways to live a good and fulfilled life.
It’s a huge decision. Most people don’t put nearly enough thought into it. I just don’t have the energy nor, the finances, nor the desire. My husband and I are on the same page so it works. Sometimes I think about what could have been or worry about what will be, but mostly I’m happy with my decision.
Hi Shelby! I am 28 and currently grappling with the idea of having kids. I really don’t have any idea what I want. Happy to hear everyone’s stories and Thankyou for having the conversation ❤
Me and my partner are in our early 30's and we are Child Free. We are happy and fulfilled, as we never felt the urge/need/desire for kids. We have full lives and we travel, we have a tight group of friends, family and cats.
@Loxliemacoll I am still fertile and my partner as well, if we wanted to, we could have them. I just litterally would rather die than have kids. So the question is, why are you projecting? Maybe check on your own life before judging others 🙏
I am turning 29 in 3 weeks. Got married at 27. I still grapple with the idea of having kids, as I’m also thinking about switching careers. However, I noticed my priorities changed once I got married. I find myself thinking about what’s best for me in relation to my future family. Plus, I have a friend who recently gave birth. (She’s the first within our social circle). Once my hubby and I took a look at her baby, we knew we were ready to have one of our own.
I'm 36 and child free by choice and I don't regret it, I don't think I ever will. I have never had the desire to be a mom. I have older brothers but both had moved out of the house when I entered middle school, so much of what I remember - I was an "only child." I think that made me very selfish if I'm being honest. From the age of 11 I was able to kind of do what I want, never had to share anything with anyone (like a room, bathroom, clothes etc.). I never had to sacrifice my time for someone else. I simply cannot imagine not being able to do what I want, or caring for someone else when I get home from work. I want to travel as I please, and I value my sleep. In short - I do not want to be responsible for another human being. Another thing that often crosses my mind is the possibility that they would have special needs. I'm not fit for that lifestyle. That might be controversial, but at least I know that about myself.
Shelby seems happy, in a good mood and having some nice adventures, i liked her positive energy in this video ✌️❤️🇬🇧big hug to the nugget of CA lifestyle vlogging
I always assumed I would have kids. It just never happened that I found someone and had any. I'm 44 now though and now I don't even entertain the idea. I'm single and looking but I don't even really want to date a man who has children any younger than junior high age. If I had kids now, by the time I am ready to retire, they would still be in college. That means I would likely still be contributing to their college instead of saving for retirement. YOLO - amiright? I want to have a fun retirement like my parents (who had me and my brothers young). Also, as my gynecologist so eloquently put it, "If you're going to have kids, you better do it now or you're not going to be able to." He told me that when I was 40 and it was like a slap to the face. It forced me to think about it though.
I'm actually really looking forward to your video on this to see if I'm the only one with this frame of mind. I know you're probably looking at a younger crowd, but it's still interesting.
The other day I read that when these ready-to-use mixes came to the market many decades ago they only needed water, but that people did not like them because it did not feel like following a recipe or something along those lines. So manufacturers changed it so that things like milk and eggs are needed.
My husband and I both never wanted kids growing up, been married 15 years, in our 40s and have never regretted it. It is amazing to travel and spend our money on whatever we want. Also allowed me to take a sabbatical last year and travel more extensively.
Unfortunately…some people can’t have kids…but that was not in ur options. However, I was initially heart broken but now I am okay and have adjusted and have a happy life. So I fit into both categories.
You might find the book "Selfish reasons to have more kids" interesting as research! I am 32 and expecting our first. I was always 50/50 on having kids but my husband wanted kids for sure and seeing my nephews grow up solidified it for me. We went through infertility treatments to get here, so I also want to highlight that not everyone who is childless necessarily intended that to be their path.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while. Don’t stress too much on making content for people hoping they’ll like it. Just live your life! That’s what we want to see. It’s an inspiration! Love your videos.
I’m child free at the age of 37. Have never once doubted it past the age of 20-25. As I’ve gotten older it’s become even clearer that I made the right choice. It’s a zero return on investment if you ask me.😊
Hi Shelby. Such a treat to wake up, make a coffee, turn on YT and find a new vlog from you. I can’t wait for your next docuseries. Such a topic! As for the shelving system you made. If you haven’t got rid of it I would suggest you paint it to match the walls and use it. I think it looks good where you placed it. I think the little snippets you film while Sam is there and when you are with your friends are just enough to give us a glimpse of your life. It show us you are not just working all the time and what you do in your free time and what you enjoy ( tennis and hot tub ❤).
Mid 50s here and we are child free. Never on purpose it just kind of panned out that way. I wish we did have kids actually but it is what it is. We have very full lives still, enjoy our nieces and nephews, and love our spoiled fur baby! There's no right or wrong and as long as we are healthy we will continue to have fun in life!
Yesss I am so here for the childfree content! I just turned 33 and I do not want children. My husband and I have a house and a cat, jobs we like and they're flexible enough that we can travel kind of whenever as well. I could not imagine living any other way! All our friends have kids, and it makes it harder to find time to hang out, which can be tough. The worst part for me is getting together in larger groups, and the guys and girls tend to split up into groups. The girls will inevitably start talking about pregnancy / birth / postpartum / kids etc and I just kind of sit there. I do have a couple friends who are very good at making me feel included and make an effort to talk about non-kid stuff, which I appreciate! I wish the childfree movement was more accepted. Thankfully, more people are coming out and talking about this, which is needed. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids! No one has to 🙂 I think I heard you say in the video that you don't want them? Which got me very excited because I always love watching childfree content creators or at least people who also don't want to have kids! Can't wait for this video!
I knew from the age of 15 that I didn’t want to have kids for a variety of reasons and everyone told me that once I found the one I would change my mind. Nearly 40 and still haven’t changed my mind nor found “the one” and now the narrative from everyone is that you don’t need to find “the one” you can do it on your own 😂. I still stand by the reasons I gave at 15 to why I don’t want to have kids.
I’m 31 years old and an elementary school teacher. It’s sad, but being a teacher has honestly made me less likely to have kids. I see firsthand what kids are exposed to at a young age (most of my 4th graders have phones) and I see so many problems in the US that I don’t want to bring a child into. Being an elementary teacher is EXHAUSTING and the thought of coming home and having my own kids to then raise…I feel like I could only do one or the other! So, I get my fix by being in the classroom ❤️ I wouldn’t say I would never have kids..just a “if it happens, it happens, if not, no biggie” type of thing. Love your videos - you inspired me to start playing tennis!
I’m an elementary school counselor and feel the exact same way. If I have kids- I’d have one. I’m 29 and 30 in a couple weeks and the more life pushes on the more I find myself adverse to having kids. I’m not saying no- but I’m not keen on having more than one and it would be in my late 30s if that. Life is too expensive and most of my students’ parents are going through divorces. No thank you.
My husband and I are 60 years old. Married over 30 years and are child free. We travel often and are snowbirds. We were able to retire 7 years ago and never been happier. Have not regretted not having children for a second. Our dogs are our children. ❤. Love all your contents and your channels.
Had one amazing kid with the wrong guy. Told myself I will never want another child. Then I met the right guy and my whole outlook changed. We wanted a child but we were not successful. I regret not freezing my eggs.
I didn’t want kids til I met my husband 😂- we have a son and it is amazing. I will say it was SO annoying when people would ask “when are you getting married and when are you having kids.” This life is your journey - enjoy it! ❤
My husband and I didn't have kids until we were 33 and are so glad we waited! I know people dont always have a choice. But all of our friends had their kids before 30. We were never in a massive rush to have kids. And when we did it of course changed our lives and our life is enriched! We did always say if we couldnt or didnt that would be fine too. We still travel, do date nights with and without our girl we are fortunate enough to have great family support. There are some really busy and super hard days but it's part of our life and we love it !
I'm so glad that you took time for yourself to give a dinner party for friends. That cake looked delicious! Studying for your Real Estate Exam is time-consuming. You are also a very good tennis player! Nice seeing Sam in this vlog, and showing your day to day activities! 🎾🌤🌞🌤
I’m 36. Married over 5 years and didn’t start trying for a kid until age 35, now after 14 months trying told we have unexplained infertility likely due to age so major regrets putting it off here. Didn’t really feel settled enough into life and marriage until 35 but waiting until everything is perfect with home, finances, etc. doesn’t help anything when it comes to a natural physical process that gets difficult with age.
I’m 46 and never had kids. I just didn’t feel like it was my calling. I have two awesome nieces so that warms my heart. I think everyone has to follow their own heart. I would be ok being with someone who has kids, I just didn’t want to have my own if that makes any sense.
I am 38 and I don’t have kids. I always saw myself as someone who would have kids. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in my late 20’s. I’ve actually just found a metabolic treatment for my schizophrenia that is working for my symptoms, but until I found this treatment I didn’t think I’d have kids because there is like a 10% chance your children could get it too. Who knows maybe this treatment will work and I’ll end up having a kid at 40. But so far, no kids. I will admit it’s kind of nice sometimes! My sister has kids so I see my nephews, but I always get to send them home after a few hours. I’m super excited to watch the “No kids movement” video, Shelby!
I am 58 and no kiddos. I never thought oh I don't want kids, but I definitely didn't want kids without a partner. I never got married so no kids. I was never someone who NEEDED a kid. I am ok with it.
My husband and I are 37 and 42, married 8 yrs and child free. We decided to be child free pretty early on in our relationship. We decided it was more important for us to be able to have money for travel and other things than spending it on kids… we also just were never like “I have to have kids” and think that way too many people have them that shouldn’t. Our lives are a lot less stressful and we can focus on us without the stress of also having little humans to worry about.
I'm 43, married, with no kids by design. We are happy with our choice. I honestly can't imagine us being able to finciacially care for a larger family the way I'd like to. I have neices and nephews and being close to them is a gift! There is no down side, but one of the sadder side effects is growing apart from good friends as they start to grow their families. It's just a natural progression for them to have different priorities once they become parents and support that 100 % but do miss the social aspect of being young and child free.
I’m in my 30’s and happily child free☺️ I love kids. Love to play with my nephews and nieces. Always knew I would love being an aunt. But being a mom was never something I wanted. I don’t want the responsibility and stress. I don’t want to deal with kids on a daily basis. I always wanted dogs though 😅 So I rescued three. I honestly live my dream life and don’t feel anything is missing. Looking forward to that video🫶🏼
Hi Shelby, I enjoyed your relaxing vlog! Fyi, you can still add an egg to pancake mix, even if directions don't mention it. It will make your pancakes &/or waffles light & fuffy😊. Try it, you won't be disappointed.
Age is just a number, me and my wife had 2 kids in our early 40s, it all boils down how fit you are, what lifestyle you want to have, expectations change as we grow older.
I waited 7yrs to have kids and loved that for me! I was 27 & 28yrs old had two kids in a year & half. My kids who are 25 & 26yrs old have both told me they don’t want kids and I support them either way. They had a shit absentee dad. (Which we’re now in a middle of a nasty divorce). So there’s that. They’ve seen their whole life I’ve been both mom & dad and I will always be there for them not matter what. I don’t know if that has a huge effect on their decision. They say it’s a various of reasons.
I am about to turn 39 and am also child-free. After being together for 12 years, my husband and I decided it was not something we wanted. We've always kept the door open (never made a "final" decision) but are very much of the mindset that if it was something we wanted, we would have pursued it by now. It's tough in a world where it feels like everyone wants kids and not wanting them makes you some kind of outcast, so it's reassuring to know that other people out there also choose to be child-free. And it doesn't make us weird or mean that we hate kids! I have nieces and nephews whom I love spending time with, and I find great relief in going home knowing that I don't have that responsibility in my life. I think a little FOMO or the feelings of "what if" will always be there, and that's just something I'll have to live with, but I've never regretted my decision.
I'm also 29 and childfree. I've felt since I was a teenagar that I don't want kids, especially when the world is looking like it does with climate change, mental illness and war. I have two cats and that's enough lol
45 yrs old and child free! No regrets at all. I have many reasons I decided not to pop them out. Traumatic childhood, broken back, low income etc etc. I now feel so grateful that I can invest my energy into the things that bring me joy. I would have been a loving mum but an unhappy human if I had kids.
I enjoy being childfree because I can pick up and go whenever I want or need to. People ask me what I’m going to do in my old age if I don’t have children to take care of me. But what they fail to realize is that just because you have children doesn’t mean that they’re going to be there to take care of you when you get older or that they’re even obligated to do that for you. I love children and would love to work with them, nurture their growth and their little minds, but I don’t want my own because it’s a never ending job that not everyone is equipped for. I have plenty of reasons why I might not be a good candidate for parenthood, so I’d rather just not chance it because it’s not just a child I’d be having, it’s a human being who will need to grow up and be able to make a good life for themselves and for those in their lives.
My husband and I are both in our 30s and are pretty sure we don’t want kids. Not only does it sound stressful financially, despite my husband being a dentist. His student loans are hefty and we honestly just also want our life to be spent having fun together. I also feel like our marriage will be better for it. Our families and friends have been surprised but we’re excited to be the fun uncle and aunt😂😊 We are obsessed with our dog and want another!
i just had my first baby at 24 and although its been very difficult i do not regret it at all. I think its also very common in my age group to have kids younger than later, I’ve also seen people who are over the age of 30 have difficulty having children and having to do it through IVF or IUI. Lots of people want to establish a career before they have kids but my husband and i chose to have kids earlier and be able to be done with kids earlier too. But not everyone wants to have kids and thats alright
I’ve always felt undecided on the having kids but always leaned on not. Now that I’m 40 and single I feel like my time has ran out in way but don’t feel like I’m missing out either.
Looking forward to your next video on being child free. One thing I will say is that I hope younger women have more friend options who are also childfree than what I’ve had past 30 years old (I’m 51 now). That has been a struggle in recent years to have something in common with co-workers, etc as it seems like everyone in the rural area I live in now have children.
I'm in my mid fifties and I am finding my friends are getting contact with me as they become empty nesters. They often don't know how to fill their days or find fulfillment in their lives now that its no longer child focused.
I can understand that as I imagine I may be in that situation in the next few years as well. I welcome the change as it’s difficult at times to not have any friend options who have that one thing in common with me.
I'm a woman in my mid 30's and have known I didn't want kids since I first learned about pregnancy. I was lucky enough to find a supportive doctor that surgically sterilized me in my mid 20's. I've been with my partner for 5 years and we've never regretted not having kids or even debated what we're "missing". In fact, several of my friends that have always wanted kids (1 woman even wanted 7 kids!) are changing their minds and abstaining for many reasons that mostly involve the uncertain future they'd be bringing a child into (mass shootings, climate change, general financial uncertainty for future generations, etc). It used to be so hard finding other childfree people but I'm happy to see so many people taking child bearing so seriously and seriously thinking through that choice rather than giving into societal pressure without fully understanding what they're signing up for.
I know you asked for child free opinions, but just to toss another perspective into the mix... I see a lot of comments about wanting freedom, of choice of movement, of finances etc It seems like a lot of people think if you have kids you are locked into a box of a specific way of doing things, giving up things... you still have choices after having kids lol you still get to choose where you spend your money, go on adventures, vacations, pursue passions etc. I have four kids and like 36k a year income and still get to do all those things... you can indeed have it all, somethings might look a little different but that doesn't mean you can't do them. That said, kids aren't for everyone, however if you want them but think you have to give up every other area of your life to have them, you don't, so don't let just that stop you...
Hi Shelby! I just want to say I absolutely love and appreciate your new commentary videos. It would be great to see a follow up video or a part two on the not having kids movement/ evolution. With a decline in population we NEED immigration to keep our economy going. We should be focusing on how to create better laws to allow legal immigration and better selection processes instead of having illegal and dangerous immigration as what's going on right now around the world. Would love to hear your thoughts and see some research about it. I think it's an important political subject that needs attention with the younger generation. After all, it is our future!
I had my daughter at 16 and never had another child. I'm 45 now and absolute regret only having 1. I can't imagine if I would have given her up for adoption and kept the concept of wanting to be child free. Anyway, I love watching these blogs and watching you in your life. Please do stop them.
I'm Childfree. When I was in my twenties I wanted to have kids one day. The older I got the less I wanted to have them. Now I don't want kids. I like my free time, clean house, and the money I saved.
I’m 38 and childfree. I’ve never had the desire to have children and as the years have passed, I’ve found more and more reasons not to. So far, no regrets. The only thing I’ll say is that it’s a little isolating as most people my age have a family and so making/maintaining friendships with people who are parents has been a little tricky.
I waited until I was 34 to have my first child. No regrets, though I do think having children younger can be easier for recovery and general energy. The thing that's strange for me now at 37, is, that I'm closing the gap on having more. I basically need to decide tomorrow, but I'm loving my profession, and think I'm done. With always worrying about accidental pregnancy (which I didn't have), it's really strange thinking that I may not be able to get pregnant, naturally again. Just a strange feeling.
45 and happily childfree. When I was a kid my parents told me that even with the baby dolls I had I always said I was "babysitting them" and never that they were my babies. I have zero memories of ever pretending like I even had kids as a child. I have friends kids I adore, and believe kids have a place in society, but otherwise not interested in putting myself in situations to be around them.
Hi Shelby! Just to add my 2 cents...my husband and I have been married for 28 years and we chose not to have kids. It wasn't even really a choice...we just didn't want kids so it wasn't like we discussed whether we should have children or not. We just knew we didn't have the guts(for lack of a better word) or emotional wherewithal to have kids. And although not having kids was easy for us, it was hard for friends and family to accept. When we were in our 30s and early 40s it was constant harping. "You'll regret it..." "Whose going to take care of you when you're old..." All these years later, we don't regret it, esp looking at all the drama our friends who are parents have gone through and to answer the question "Who is going to take care of us when we are old?" Our bank account, that's who! One thing that amazes me is when a few of our friends ask us where we get the money to travel, etc. and our answer is "Guys, we don't have kids!" ;) Love your content, Shelby! Whoops, I must add I that I am a dog mom, haha!
I am 29 and when I was 18 I definitely had the traditional idea of wanting kids by this time, married, with a full time job because that is how I was grown up to think. However, as time went on and I met a bunch of trashy guys that wasted my time of fulfilling that dream and now I my whole outlook has changed. Even though that has happened, I see many people wanting to start having kids in their 30's now, not 20's like in the older days. I think my whole generation changed the age and time of when you can have kids and how socially acceptable it is.
I am 42 and decided long time ago I didn't want to have kids. I am currently single but I was able to FIRE on my own because I decided not to have kids. I wish more people normalized how to live a fulfilling & purposeful life without children. You can have friends and be an aunt and have a community even without kids or being married.
Not exactly child free, but my wife and I had 1 and decided to not have any more. I don’t regret our 1 baby at all and even growing up I knew I only wanted 1-2 tops. For me I think 1 is fine since we can still travel with her and provide good quality time while having time to ourselves. Beyond 1 I think you lose that ability (travel becomes tricky) and living in a major city is costly beyond what we would want. I think cost is the biggest hinderance as we travel and do everything with one kid so we don’t have fomo but we do have to spend a lot more to be able to do the same things. For us the value is there but it isn’t for everyone.
My husband and I were not planning to have kids (but we weren't married at the time and i always thought i could change my mind), but when i was 29 we found out we would be adopting my husband's 5yo nephew... We didn't have bio kids due to raising him. Now at 41 I don't have a great relationship with my adopted son and feel like the kids door is closed which I'm a little sad about (and a little anxiety inducing when i think about the future and getting older) But kids do take over every fibre of your being. There's no halfway.
I have noticed online that there seems to be this movement in America to dislike kids making noise. I’ve seen they shouldn’t be at restaurants or a brewery or especially airplanes. Personally that would make me feel so uncomfortable to bring my kids anywhere! Luckily I’m in NZ and definitely not like that here
Never had kids….felt like if it happened great and if not I would be OK. I was always very successful in my career and have so many friends that are child free too. I lived most of my life in Dallas and Atlanta. When I retired, I moved back to the Midwest to be closer to family. Living in the Midwest I am constantly explaining why I did not have kids😂😂 It is like I have a third eye!! It was never an issue in Dallas or Atlanta. I have had a wonderful life!!
I'm married, in my early 30s and am childfree. I wish people would be as supportive of me being childfree as I am of them when other people in my life have kids. I help and show up to gender reveals, baby showers, kids' birthdays, baptism, etc. I don't ever try to persuade people to be childfree. I just show up and support but if I say I don't want kids, I'm met with so much resistance, arguments for the other side, etc. It's sad but I really wish I just had support from others the way I support them. People often say the following: - you'll regret it - who'll take care of you when you retire? - you'll change your mind - but you're a woman, that's what you're made for - how else will you pass on your legacy? - but what does your husband want? It's exhausting 😪 I'm not here for an argument and I don't need to justify myself to others the way they dont need to justify to me why they chose to have kids.
As a child free woman in my 40's one of my biggest frustrations is the lack of representation in the media. Most shows/ movies geared towards women always have children in the picture. I find this disappointing and sometimes boring as I can't relate. This also goes for content creators in their mid 20's and 30's. I find I stop following them as closely after they have children (especially if they choose to show them on camera or make their channel about being mothers).
There. I caught more the second time through. My mind was going a hundred (or more) directions yesterday. So. I do not have children. I’m fine with that. Holidays/etc are rather lonely. But, “it is what it is”. The upside? The loads that run over those days often pay a little better. Money isn’t the “be-all-end-all”, but it’s the bright spot I have for now.
Shelby, you are still young. There is no right or wrong about having kids! Having kids is just like anything: Has its good & bad. I do think who you have them with can make all the difference. I can see at this time your focus is building your life & fortune. And in todays age, you have lots of time to decide. I kind of hope part of the reason you are not vlogging as much is because you & Sam are living it up when together! Enjoy girl!
Please don’t donate to Goodwill! They get way too much and most of it ends up in landfills. Using buy nothing or FB marketplace is a much better option 😊
39 and I don’t have kids. Lots of reasons for this. Cost to raise them, giving up my free time to live my life for me, hubby said he could go either way but let’s be real the mother puts in more effort most the time. I like my career life and don’t want to give that up and def wouldn’t want a nanny to raise my kid. I love to do what I want and when I want! And finally bringing life into this horrific world ummmm no thanks. And anyone who says this sounds selfish… yes you are 100% correct and I’m ok with that.
My husband and I have never wanted kids and that hasn't really changed. I'm currently 34, and at times I guess I feel my "biological clock" ticking, especially since my siblings are having kids and that makes me feel a little left out and emotional about our decision. However, I worked as a nanny in my 20s and experienced first hand how hard and unforgiving the day to day is with kids. I love my nephews and love visiting them, but I also love coming home to calmness. I also don't really want to be supporting a young adult when I'm trying to retire. Many of my older coworkers have adult kids living at home because of the affordable housing crisis with basically no plans to live on their own anytime soon. Little kids can be fun, but living and supporting young adults is not. I do worry about regretting my decision in the future, but I also worry about not being able to do everything I want to in this life because I'm trapped supporting a family. My goal is to prioritize time with my family and be the best aunt that I can be, an hopefully that will be enough in the kid department.
Hey Shelby ! I love your vlogs, but your health matters the most. You’re an amazing UA-camr who has made it on this platform and you’ll always have a following with whatever videos you decide to post. Wishing you the best and good health this year !!
I've noticed that many other youtubers that have also been vlogging less these days. Do you get the feeling that there's been an epidemic of UA-cam burnouts?
Is it possible that it’s linked to a worse economic situation? Maybe when you are making so much money in brand deals and ad sense its easier to force yourself to push through. Just a thought!
Love your videos from the main channel and thank you for taking the time to share BTS here in your vlog channel, keep it up but don't forget to pace yourself! 😀👍
I've been missing your vlogs. When you vlog it's like the sun appearing on a cloudy day.
I'm glad you take time to be present with Sam. Vlogging can take a pause so you have more time for other endeavors!
Oh darn I thought Sam had moved to LA!? How's the long distance relationship life?
Do yall have plans to be in the same city soonish?
My husband and I are child free (we are in our early 40s) and have no regrets. I never was interested in having kids (husband said it didn't matter either way as he has nieces and nephews and didn't feel like he was missing out) so instead we are parents to a 13 year old Shih Tzu named Steve. Steve goes on plenty of adventures and vacations with us. We love it!
love to hear that!!
For me I am not in a good financially place to have kids, plus the health risk I have and give the same issues my kids is not right. Plus health bills is ao high for unhealthy issues.
Me too, I'm mid 30s. I'm lucky enough to have a niece. I just want to keep travelling! Plus it would be too stressful having a kid nowadays
45 years old and child free with no regrets. I like to joke I am selfish and don't want to share but the reality is I have never wanted kids. I am glad it's become a normal conversation now. Even harder is when you want to make a medical choice to not have kids doctors freak. I started asking when I was 21 and didn't get a hysterectomy till I was 35. Multiple doctors told me they didn't want to get sued if I changes my mind
I am 40 years old and no regrets. The only downside is sometimes you can be left out on invitations, as people don’t thing you would want to go if you have no children. That’s the only downside I have noticed.
My spouse and I were team no kids until about our mid 30's. But slowly we just felt like something was missing for us. You can't really put your finger on why sometimes. Now we have the most awesome son and our life is even better. I think finding someone who is 100% one way or the other on having kids can be challenging because most people's lives and experiences are constantly changing. I wanted to be a teacher my whole life and then did some student teaching and quickly changed my major. I was soooo sure I would love teaching. I was wrong.
Same here, in our mid 30's , now we have the most amazing daughter and couldn't imagine life any other way.we we're also professional dancers so with such a busy schedule it didn't really hit us until we were ready to retire from dancing professionally and start a new chapter! Now we own a ballet studio and teach 😊
I think our infrastructure in the us needs to change for kids. The cost of daycare costs more than rent in some areas. The cost of childcare in general, babysitting and nannies all adds up. A lot of people don’t live near their families which makes it harder to not have that support nearby. There’s not enough spaces for kids outside of the home that doesn’t cost a lot when it’s not nice enough to go to the park.
I did not have kids until I was 37. My wife was 35. We had two children. My daughter is now 22 and my son is 19. They have brought us great joy and were the most fulfilling accomplishment of my life. My son was home this weekend from college. Just enjoyed him visiting. We are all taking a big vacation together this summer. Looking forward to seeing where they go in life.
When everything is American TV sitcom, indeed having a family is fun.
Hey Shelby! I'm childfree by choice. Totally could have had them, but didn't want to. Now I'm 53, happily married and doing exactly what I want to do in life. I think kiddos are great, but I don't regret my decision even for a second. Life is good, my dogs are my babies, and I'm already semi-retired (I do youtube and that's it).
in case it's helpful I did a video about being child free ua-cam.com/video/W6nf0tm_DHQ/v-deo.html
I’m 27 with 2 kids. Part of why I love your vlogs bc they’re so calm 😆🤍
Childless by choice. I feel like any time someone mentions it they instantly assume it means we hate kids or something equally dramatic. The truth is that we've seen most of our friends have kids, I babysat and nannied a lot, I worked in a preschool, and I can see how much work it is. I don't take the commitment of having children lightly, it affects every part of your life, and for most people that is a desired and worthwhile change. On the flip side, I also see how much emotional and financial stress it puts on a relationship and it's not hard to see that it can be a driving factor in divorce or separation. -- My partner and I have been together for 20 years, children is something we discussed at many points and neither of had a burning desire. We love kids, I adore my nephew, we love paying with other people's kids, it doesn't annoy me I hear loud kids in public. However, we're also very content with our lives, we enjoy the freedom to travel, the lack of financial stress, being able to invest time in our relationship, careers, and other hobbies. We don't feel that we need to have kids in order to have purpose.
LOVE!
I knew early on I didn’t want to have kids and have never regretted my decision not to. Kids are great and I worked with them when I was in high school and college. I recommend that everyone spend some time with babies and children if they can. Offer to babysit for a friend or relative. Volunteer for a youth organization. There are lots of ways to support kids and spending some time with them may better inform one’s decision to have their own or not. Looking forward to hearing your take, Shelby!
Love your vlogs, they always motivate me. I waited until my mid thirties to have kids, mainly because I wasn’t sure I wanted to and needed to meet the right person too. I remember thinking when I was younger that I was not the kind of person to have kids but am happy I did it as I enjoyed it. Only thing is it has been so expensive and I can’t imagine with the current economy doing it now. I can understand why so many Gen Z and Millennials aren’t wanting to have kids.
Shelby, I really love how you are loving tennis! Your exuberance is infectious. It was nice you gave the simple reason for the slow down of your vlogs. Personally, I love the quality you put into each vlog and you are the consumnate professional
A childfree lifestyle allowed my husband and I to work super hard at our side hustles in addition to our full time jobs. We moved to Mexico in our late 30s where I was able to fully retire while he focuses on a few passion projects. Obviously no regrets!
The cabinet you made (if you still have it), you could buy some white bins to put into the shelves and this can be used as 'storage' - as in a few bins for Sam's clothes, maybe one for camera equipment, one to stash stuff away before filming/people get there etc.
It’s ok to take time off from vlogging when busy. I can understand being with other people and not wanting to vlog
shelby I can't waiiit for the child free video! your commentary videos have been my latest obsession. seriously you are killing it.
I am 31, been with my husband for 13 now. We have a relatively full life with three dogs, family, and friends. I’d say we are able to be more present in those areas of life because we don’t have children. We are definitely able to be there for his aging parents far more than their children with their own kids. I’ve never wanted kids and do not see that changing.
We had one kid in our late 30's. When I was growing up it seemed like only children were kind of rare...but now a lot of my peers only have one kid. For us it was due to age, health issues - and ultimately feeling content and settled in our lives and careers with only one. (We love our little family of three.)
My nieces and nephews in the next generation (now in their mid-20's to mid-30's) are all unmarried and childless. I feel like serious relationships and kids are mostly future thoughts to them, and I totally understand why: lives today have so much more possibility and potential...and complications and difficulty. It often takes longer to find your way. And we're slowly understanding there are countless ways to live a good and fulfilled life.
It’s a huge decision. Most people don’t put nearly enough thought into it. I just don’t have the energy nor, the finances, nor the desire. My husband and I are on the same page so it works. Sometimes I think about what could have been or worry about what will be, but mostly I’m happy with my decision.
Hi Shelby! I am 28 and currently grappling with the idea of having kids. I really don’t have any idea what I want. Happy to hear everyone’s stories and Thankyou for having the conversation ❤
Me and my partner are in our early 30's and we are Child Free. We are happy and fulfilled, as we never felt the urge/need/desire for kids. We have full lives and we travel, we have a tight group of friends, family and cats.
@Loxliemacoll I am still fertile and my partner as well, if we wanted to, we could have them. I just litterally would rather die than have kids. So the question is, why are you projecting? Maybe check on your own life before judging others 🙏
I am turning 29 in 3 weeks. Got married at 27. I still grapple with the idea of having kids, as I’m also thinking about switching careers. However, I noticed my priorities changed once I got married. I find myself thinking about what’s best for me in relation to my future family. Plus, I have a friend who recently gave birth. (She’s the first within our social circle). Once my hubby and I took a look at her baby, we knew we were ready to have one of our own.
I'm 36 and child free by choice and I don't regret it, I don't think I ever will. I have never had the desire to be a mom. I have older brothers but both had moved out of the house when I entered middle school, so much of what I remember - I was an "only child." I think that made me very selfish if I'm being honest. From the age of 11 I was able to kind of do what I want, never had to share anything with anyone (like a room, bathroom, clothes etc.). I never had to sacrifice my time for someone else. I simply cannot imagine not being able to do what I want, or caring for someone else when I get home from work. I want to travel as I please, and I value my sleep. In short - I do not want to be responsible for another human being. Another thing that often crosses my mind is the possibility that they would have special needs. I'm not fit for that lifestyle. That might be controversial, but at least I know that about myself.
Shelby seems happy, in a good mood and having some nice adventures, i liked her positive energy in this video ✌️❤️🇬🇧big hug to the nugget of CA lifestyle vlogging
I always assumed I would have kids. It just never happened that I found someone and had any. I'm 44 now though and now I don't even entertain the idea. I'm single and looking but I don't even really want to date a man who has children any younger than junior high age. If I had kids now, by the time I am ready to retire, they would still be in college. That means I would likely still be contributing to their college instead of saving for retirement. YOLO - amiright? I want to have a fun retirement like my parents (who had me and my brothers young). Also, as my gynecologist so eloquently put it, "If you're going to have kids, you better do it now or you're not going to be able to." He told me that when I was 40 and it was like a slap to the face. It forced me to think about it though.
I'm actually really looking forward to your video on this to see if I'm the only one with this frame of mind. I know you're probably looking at a younger crowd, but it's still interesting.
The other day I read that when these ready-to-use mixes came to the market many decades ago they only needed water, but that people did not like them because it did not feel like following a recipe or something along those lines. So manufacturers changed it so that things like milk and eggs are needed.
My husband and I both never wanted kids growing up, been married 15 years, in our 40s and have never regretted it. It is amazing to travel and spend our money on whatever we want. Also allowed me to take a sabbatical last year and travel more extensively.
Totally agree
Unfortunately…some people can’t have kids…but that was not in ur options. However, I was initially heart broken but now I am okay and have adjusted and have a happy life. So I fit into both categories.
You might find the book "Selfish reasons to have more kids" interesting as research! I am 32 and expecting our first. I was always 50/50 on having kids but my husband wanted kids for sure and seeing my nephews grow up solidified it for me. We went through infertility treatments to get here, so I also want to highlight that not everyone who is childless necessarily intended that to be their path.
16:45 where she explains why she was absent
🙏
I think it's just being respectful be present in the moment when you have guests and to try to keep people's privacy.
I’ve been watching your videos for a while. Don’t stress too much on making content for people hoping they’ll like it. Just live your life! That’s what we want to see. It’s an inspiration! Love your videos.
I’m child free at the age of 37. Have never once doubted it past the age of 20-25. As I’ve gotten older it’s become even clearer that I made the right choice. It’s a zero return on investment if you ask me.😊
Yay!!! You posted on my birthday. This has brightened my day lol
Happy birthday!!
Hi Shelby. Such a treat to wake up, make a coffee, turn on YT and find a new vlog from you. I can’t wait for your next docuseries. Such a topic!
As for the shelving system you made. If you haven’t got rid of it I would suggest you paint it to match the walls and use it. I think it looks good where you placed it.
I think the little snippets you film while Sam is there and when you are with your friends are just enough to give us a glimpse of your life. It show us you are not just working all the time and what you do in your free time and what you enjoy ( tennis and hot tub ❤).
Mid 50s here and we are child free. Never on purpose it just kind of panned out that way. I wish we did have kids actually but it is what it is. We have very full lives still, enjoy our nieces and nephews, and love our spoiled fur baby! There's no right or wrong and as long as we are healthy we will continue to have fun in life!
Regrets maybe a little, but bitter, no way!@Loxliemacoll
Yesss I am so here for the childfree content! I just turned 33 and I do not want children. My husband and I have a house and a cat, jobs we like and they're flexible enough that we can travel kind of whenever as well. I could not imagine living any other way! All our friends have kids, and it makes it harder to find time to hang out, which can be tough. The worst part for me is getting together in larger groups, and the guys and girls tend to split up into groups. The girls will inevitably start talking about pregnancy / birth / postpartum / kids etc and I just kind of sit there. I do have a couple friends who are very good at making me feel included and make an effort to talk about non-kid stuff, which I appreciate!
I wish the childfree movement was more accepted. Thankfully, more people are coming out and talking about this, which is needed. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids! No one has to 🙂
I think I heard you say in the video that you don't want them? Which got me very excited because I always love watching childfree content creators or at least people who also don't want to have kids! Can't wait for this video!
I knew from the age of 15 that I didn’t want to have kids for a variety of reasons and everyone told me that once I found the one I would change my mind. Nearly 40 and still haven’t changed my mind nor found “the one” and now the narrative from everyone is that you don’t need to find “the one” you can do it on your own 😂. I still stand by the reasons I gave at 15 to why I don’t want to have kids.
I’m 31 years old and an elementary school teacher. It’s sad, but being a teacher has honestly made me less likely to have kids. I see firsthand what kids are exposed to at a young age (most of my 4th graders have phones) and I see so many problems in the US that I don’t want to bring a child into. Being an elementary teacher is EXHAUSTING and the thought of coming home and having my own kids to then raise…I feel like I could only do one or the other! So, I get my fix by being in the classroom ❤️ I wouldn’t say I would never have kids..just a “if it happens, it happens, if not, no biggie” type of thing.
Love your videos - you inspired me to start playing tennis!
I’m an elementary school counselor and feel the exact same way. If I have kids- I’d have one. I’m 29 and 30 in a couple weeks and the more life pushes on the more I find myself adverse to having kids. I’m not saying no- but I’m not keen on having more than one and it would be in my late 30s if that. Life is too expensive and most of my students’ parents are going through divorces. No thank you.
My husband and I are 60 years old. Married over 30 years and are child free. We travel often and are snowbirds. We were able to retire 7 years ago and never been happier. Have not regretted not having children for a second. Our dogs are our children. ❤. Love all your contents and your channels.
Had one amazing kid with the wrong guy. Told myself I will never want another child. Then I met the right guy and my whole outlook changed. We wanted a child but we were not successful. I regret not freezing my eggs.
I didn’t want kids til I met my husband 😂- we have a son and it is amazing.
I will say it was SO annoying when people would ask “when are you getting married and when are you having kids.” This life is your journey - enjoy it! ❤
My husband and I didn't have kids until we were 33 and are so glad we waited! I know people dont always have a choice. But all of our friends had their kids before 30. We were never in a massive rush to have kids. And when we did it of course changed our lives and our life is enriched! We did always say if we couldnt or didnt that would be fine too. We still travel, do date nights with and without our girl we are fortunate enough to have great family support. There are some really busy and super hard days but it's part of our life and we love it !
I'm so glad that you took time for yourself to give a dinner party for friends. That cake looked delicious!
Studying for your Real Estate Exam is time-consuming. You are also a very good tennis player! Nice seeing Sam in this vlog, and showing your day to day activities! 🎾🌤🌞🌤
Am looking forward to that commentary video, it is indeed a controversial topic, prepare yourself, moms will come for you 😂
I’m 36. Married over 5 years and didn’t start trying for a kid until age 35, now after 14 months trying told we have unexplained infertility likely due to age so major regrets putting it off here. Didn’t really feel settled enough into life and marriage until 35 but waiting until everything is perfect with home, finances, etc. doesn’t help anything when it comes to a natural physical process that gets difficult with age.
I’m 46 and never had kids. I just didn’t feel like it was my calling. I have two awesome nieces so that warms my heart. I think everyone has to follow their own heart. I would be ok being with someone who has kids, I just didn’t want to have my own if that makes any sense.
I am 38 and I don’t have kids. I always saw myself as someone who would have kids. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in my late 20’s. I’ve actually just found a metabolic treatment for my schizophrenia that is working for my symptoms, but until I found this treatment I didn’t think I’d have kids because there is like a 10% chance your children could get it too. Who knows maybe this treatment will work and I’ll end up having a kid at 40. But so far, no kids. I will admit it’s kind of nice sometimes! My sister has kids so I see my nephews, but I always get to send them home after a few hours. I’m super excited to watch the “No kids movement” video, Shelby!
I am 58 and no kiddos. I never thought oh I don't want kids, but I definitely didn't want kids without a partner. I never got married so no kids. I was never someone who NEEDED a kid. I am ok with it.
Yay loved this!!💕
And child free by choice, so very happy with zero regrets.
My husband and I are 37 and 42, married 8 yrs and child free. We decided to be child free pretty early on in our relationship. We decided it was more important for us to be able to have money for travel and other things than spending it on kids… we also just were never like “I have to have kids” and think that way too many people have them that shouldn’t. Our lives are a lot less stressful and we can focus on us without the stress of also having little humans to worry about.
I'm 43, married, with no kids by design. We are happy with our choice. I honestly can't imagine us being able to finciacially care for a larger family the way I'd like to. I have neices and nephews and being close to them is a gift! There is no down side, but one of the sadder side effects is growing apart from good friends as they start to grow their families. It's just a natural progression for them to have different priorities once they become parents and support that 100 % but do miss the social aspect of being young and child free.
I’m in my 30’s and happily child free☺️ I love kids. Love to play with my nephews and nieces. Always knew I would love being an aunt. But being a mom was never something I wanted. I don’t want the responsibility and stress. I don’t want to deal with kids on a daily basis. I always wanted dogs though 😅 So I rescued three. I honestly live my dream life and don’t feel anything is missing. Looking forward to that video🫶🏼
Hi Shelby, I enjoyed your relaxing vlog! Fyi, you can still add an egg to pancake mix, even if directions don't mention it. It will make your pancakes &/or waffles light & fuffy😊. Try it, you won't be disappointed.
Age is just a number, me and my wife had 2 kids in our early 40s, it all boils down how fit you are, what lifestyle you want to have, expectations change as we grow older.
I waited 7yrs to have kids and loved that for me! I was 27 & 28yrs old had two kids in a year & half.
My kids who are 25 & 26yrs old have both told me they don’t want kids and I support them either way. They had a shit absentee dad. (Which we’re now in a middle of a nasty divorce). So there’s that. They’ve seen their whole life I’ve been both mom & dad and I will always be there for them not matter what. I don’t know if that has a huge effect on their decision. They say it’s a various of reasons.
I am about to turn 39 and am also child-free. After being together for 12 years, my husband and I decided it was not something we wanted. We've always kept the door open (never made a "final" decision) but are very much of the mindset that if it was something we wanted, we would have pursued it by now. It's tough in a world where it feels like everyone wants kids and not wanting them makes you some kind of outcast, so it's reassuring to know that other people out there also choose to be child-free. And it doesn't make us weird or mean that we hate kids! I have nieces and nephews whom I love spending time with, and I find great relief in going home knowing that I don't have that responsibility in my life. I think a little FOMO or the feelings of "what if" will always be there, and that's just something I'll have to live with, but I've never regretted my decision.
I'm also 29 and childfree. I've felt since I was a teenagar that I don't want kids, especially when the world is looking like it does with climate change, mental illness and war. I have two cats and that's enough lol
Understand that you don't want to film all the time, and love whenever a new vlog comes out!
45 yrs old and child free! No regrets at all. I have many reasons I decided not to pop them out. Traumatic childhood, broken back, low income etc etc. I now feel so grateful that I can invest my energy into the things that bring me joy. I would have been a loving mum but an unhappy human if I had kids.
I enjoy being childfree because I can pick up and go whenever I want or need to. People ask me what I’m going to do in my old age if I don’t have children to take care of me. But what they fail to realize is that just because you have children doesn’t mean that they’re going to be there to take care of you when you get older or that they’re even obligated to do that for you. I love children and would love to work with them, nurture their growth and their little minds, but I don’t want my own because it’s a never ending job that not everyone is equipped for. I have plenty of reasons why I might not be a good candidate for parenthood, so I’d rather just not chance it because it’s not just a child I’d be having, it’s a human being who will need to grow up and be able to make a good life for themselves and for those in their lives.
My husband and I are both in our 30s and are pretty sure we don’t want kids. Not only does it sound stressful financially, despite my husband being a dentist. His student loans are hefty and we honestly just also want our life to be spent having fun together. I also feel like our marriage will be better for it. Our families and friends have been surprised but we’re excited to be the fun uncle and aunt😂😊 We are obsessed with our dog and want another!
Always glad you share what you do Shelby 👍
i just had my first baby at 24 and although its been very difficult i do not regret it at all. I think its also very common in my age group to have kids younger than later, I’ve also seen people who are over the age of 30 have difficulty having children and having to do it through IVF or IUI. Lots of people want to establish a career before they have kids but my husband and i chose to have kids earlier and be able to be done with kids earlier too. But not everyone wants to have kids and thats alright
I’ve always felt undecided on the having kids but always leaned on not. Now that I’m 40 and single I feel like my time has ran out in way but don’t feel like I’m missing out either.
Looking forward to your next video on being child free. One thing I will say is that I hope younger women have more friend options who are also childfree than what I’ve had past 30 years old (I’m 51 now). That has been a struggle in recent years to have something in common with co-workers, etc as it seems like everyone in the rural area I live in now have children.
I'm in my mid fifties and I am finding my friends are getting contact with me as they become empty nesters. They often don't know how to fill their days or find fulfillment in their lives now that its no longer child focused.
I can understand that as I imagine I may be in that situation in the next few years as well. I welcome the change as it’s difficult at times to not have any friend options who have that one thing in common with me.
I'm a woman in my mid 30's and have known I didn't want kids since I first learned about pregnancy. I was lucky enough to find a supportive doctor that surgically sterilized me in my mid 20's. I've been with my partner for 5 years and we've never regretted not having kids or even debated what we're "missing". In fact, several of my friends that have always wanted kids (1 woman even wanted 7 kids!) are changing their minds and abstaining for many reasons that mostly involve the uncertain future they'd be bringing a child into (mass shootings, climate change, general financial uncertainty for future generations, etc). It used to be so hard finding other childfree people but I'm happy to see so many people taking child bearing so seriously and seriously thinking through that choice rather than giving into societal pressure without fully understanding what they're signing up for.
I know you asked for child free opinions, but just to toss another perspective into the mix... I see a lot of comments about wanting freedom, of choice of movement, of finances etc It seems like a lot of people think if you have kids you are locked into a box of a specific way of doing things, giving up things... you still have choices after having kids lol you still get to choose where you spend your money, go on adventures, vacations, pursue passions etc. I have four kids and like 36k a year income and still get to do all those things... you can indeed have it all, somethings might look a little different but that doesn't mean you can't do them. That said, kids aren't for everyone, however if you want them but think you have to give up every other area of your life to have them, you don't, so don't let just that stop you...
Hi Shelby! I just want to say I absolutely love and appreciate your new commentary videos.
It would be great to see a follow up video or a part two on the not having kids movement/ evolution. With a decline in population we NEED immigration to keep our economy going. We should be focusing on how to create better laws to allow legal immigration and better selection processes instead of having illegal and dangerous immigration as what's going on right now around the world. Would love to hear your thoughts and see some research about it. I think it's an important political subject that needs attention with the younger generation. After all, it is our future!
I had my daughter at 16 and never had another child. I'm 45 now and absolute regret only having 1. I can't imagine if I would have given her up for adoption and kept the concept of wanting to be child free. Anyway, I love watching these blogs and watching you in your life. Please do stop them.
I'm Childfree. When I was in my twenties I wanted to have kids one day. The older I got the less I wanted to have them. Now I don't want kids. I like my free time, clean house, and the money I saved.
I’m 38 and childfree. I’ve never had the desire to have children and as the years have passed, I’ve found more and more reasons not to. So far, no regrets. The only thing I’ll say is that it’s a little isolating as most people my age have a family and so making/maintaining friendships with people who are parents has been a little tricky.
I waited until I was 34 to have my first child. No regrets, though I do think having children younger can be easier for recovery and general energy. The thing that's strange for me now at 37, is, that I'm closing the gap on having more. I basically need to decide tomorrow, but I'm loving my profession, and think I'm done. With always worrying about accidental pregnancy (which I didn't have), it's really strange thinking that I may not be able to get pregnant, naturally again. Just a strange feeling.
45 and happily childfree. When I was a kid my parents told me that even with the baby dolls I had I always said I was "babysitting them" and never that they were my babies. I have zero memories of ever pretending like I even had kids as a child. I have friends kids I adore, and believe kids have a place in society, but otherwise not interested in putting myself in situations to be around them.
tennis is such a good sport i love it
Hi Shelby! Just to add my 2 cents...my husband and I have been married for 28 years and we chose not to have kids. It wasn't even really a choice...we just didn't want kids so it wasn't like we discussed whether we should have children or not. We just knew we didn't have the guts(for lack of a better word) or emotional wherewithal to have kids. And although not having kids was easy for us, it was hard for friends and family to accept. When we were in our 30s and early 40s it was constant harping. "You'll regret it..." "Whose going to take care of you when you're old..." All these years later, we don't regret it, esp looking at all the drama our friends who are parents have gone through and to answer the question "Who is going to take care of us when we are old?" Our bank account, that's who! One thing that amazes me is when a few of our friends ask us where we get the money to travel, etc. and our answer is "Guys, we don't have kids!" ;) Love your content, Shelby! Whoops, I must add I that I am a dog mom, haha!
Evem of you have kids theres no guarantee that they will take care of you.
@@hulahickey6959 Exactly but I hear it all the time from people who have children that their kids are their "retirement plans".😯
I am 29 and when I was 18 I definitely had the traditional idea of wanting kids by this time, married, with a full time job because that is how I was grown up to think. However, as time went on and I met a bunch of trashy guys that wasted my time of fulfilling that dream and now I my whole outlook has changed. Even though that has happened, I see many people wanting to start having kids in their 30's now, not 20's like in the older days. I think my whole generation changed the age and time of when you can have kids and how socially acceptable it is.
I am 42 and decided long time ago I didn't want to have kids. I am currently single but I was able to FIRE on my own because I decided not to have kids. I wish more people normalized how to live a fulfilling & purposeful life without children. You can have friends and be an aunt and have a community even without kids or being married.
Not exactly child free, but my wife and I had 1 and decided to not have any more. I don’t regret our 1 baby at all and even growing up I knew I only wanted 1-2 tops. For me I think 1 is fine since we can still travel with her and provide good quality time while having time to ourselves. Beyond 1 I think you lose that ability (travel becomes tricky) and living in a major city is costly beyond what we would want. I think cost is the biggest hinderance as we travel and do everything with one kid so we don’t have fomo but we do have to spend a lot more to be able to do the same things. For us the value is there but it isn’t for everyone.
My husband and I were not planning to have kids (but we weren't married at the time and i always thought i could change my mind), but when i was 29 we found out we would be adopting my husband's 5yo nephew... We didn't have bio kids due to raising him. Now at 41 I don't have a great relationship with my adopted son and feel like the kids door is closed which I'm a little sad about (and a little anxiety inducing when i think about the future and getting older) But kids do take over every fibre of your being. There's no halfway.
I didn’t realise the dry bar video was yours at first. Almost scrolled past. I wondered why this one and smart sweets you aren’t in the thumbnail?
I have noticed online that there seems to be this movement in America to dislike kids making noise. I’ve seen they shouldn’t be at restaurants or a brewery or especially airplanes. Personally that would make me feel so uncomfortable to bring my kids anywhere! Luckily I’m in NZ and definitely not like that here
Never had kids….felt like if it happened great and if not I would be OK. I was always very successful in my career and have so many friends that are child free too.
I lived most of my life in Dallas and Atlanta. When I retired, I moved back to the Midwest to be closer to family. Living in the Midwest I am constantly explaining why I did not have kids😂😂 It is like I have a third eye!! It was never an issue in Dallas or Atlanta.
I have had a wonderful life!!
I'm married, in my early 30s and am childfree. I wish people would be as supportive of me being childfree as I am of them when other people in my life have kids. I help and show up to gender reveals, baby showers, kids' birthdays, baptism, etc. I don't ever try to persuade people to be childfree. I just show up and support but if I say I don't want kids, I'm met with so much resistance, arguments for the other side, etc. It's sad but I really wish I just had support from others the way I support them.
People often say the following:
- you'll regret it
- who'll take care of you when you retire?
- you'll change your mind
- but you're a woman, that's what you're made for
- how else will you pass on your legacy?
- but what does your husband want?
It's exhausting 😪 I'm not here for an argument and I don't need to justify myself to others the way they dont need to justify to me why they chose to have kids.
As a child free woman in my 40's one of my biggest frustrations is the lack of representation in the media. Most shows/ movies geared towards women always have children in the picture. I find this disappointing and sometimes boring as I can't relate. This also goes for content creators in their mid 20's and 30's. I find I stop following them as closely after they have children (especially if they choose to show them on camera or make their channel about being mothers).
There. I caught more the second time through. My mind was going a hundred (or more) directions yesterday. So. I do not have children. I’m fine with that. Holidays/etc are rather lonely. But, “it is what it is”. The upside? The loads that run over those days often pay a little better. Money isn’t the “be-all-end-all”, but it’s the bright spot I have for now.
child free - 31 husband is 40, we don't plan to have kids and both never wanted to.
Shelby, you are still young. There is no right or wrong about having kids! Having kids is just like anything: Has its good & bad. I do think who you have them with can make all the difference. I can see at this time your focus is building your life & fortune. And in todays age, you have lots of time to decide. I kind of hope part of the reason you are not vlogging as much is because you & Sam are living it up when together! Enjoy girl!
PS, I sent you a link to a home Auction website on your IG.
Please don’t donate to Goodwill! They get way too much and most of it ends up in landfills. Using buy nothing or FB marketplace is a much better option 😊
39 and I don’t have kids. Lots of reasons for this. Cost to raise them, giving up my free time to live my life for me, hubby said he could go either way but let’s be real the mother puts in more effort most the time. I like my career life and don’t want to give that up and def wouldn’t want a nanny to raise my kid. I love to do what I want and when I want! And finally bringing life into this horrific world ummmm no thanks. And anyone who says this sounds selfish… yes you are 100% correct and I’m ok with that.
My husband and I have never wanted kids and that hasn't really changed. I'm currently 34, and at times I guess I feel my "biological clock" ticking, especially since my siblings are having kids and that makes me feel a little left out and emotional about our decision. However, I worked as a nanny in my 20s and experienced first hand how hard and unforgiving the day to day is with kids. I love my nephews and love visiting them, but I also love coming home to calmness. I also don't really want to be supporting a young adult when I'm trying to retire. Many of my older coworkers have adult kids living at home because of the affordable housing crisis with basically no plans to live on their own anytime soon. Little kids can be fun, but living and supporting young adults is not. I do worry about regretting my decision in the future, but I also worry about not being able to do everything I want to in this life because I'm trapped supporting a family. My goal is to prioritize time with my family and be the best aunt that I can be, an hopefully that will be enough in the kid department.
Hey Shelby ! I love your vlogs, but your health matters the most. You’re an amazing UA-camr who has made it on this platform and you’ll always have a following with whatever videos you decide to post. Wishing you the best and good health this year !!
I love your vlogs Shelby and have the same struggles with filming in a small apartment when I’m not alone!😅
Can we have an update on the bookshelf since the recording of this video? 😉
I've noticed that many other youtubers that have also been vlogging less these days. Do you get the feeling that there's been an epidemic of UA-cam burnouts?
yes there's def youtube burnout. vlogs are like that one thing I never get burned out of though haha
Is it possible that it’s linked to a worse economic situation? Maybe when you are making so much money in brand deals and ad sense its easier to force yourself to push through. Just a thought!
I think it’s consumption of social media so people get burnt out. UA-cam takes longer to create so the “quick” videos are taking priority ☹️
Missed you and the vlogs ❤
Try a buy nothing group to give the bookcase away instead of marketplace, people tend to ghost less to pick up items
Love your videos from the main channel and thank you for taking the time to share BTS here in your vlog channel, keep it up but don't forget to pace yourself! 😀👍
I missed your vlogs so much 🥰
Taken a break from vlogging is good to refresh