Making a Quarantine Budget
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- Опубліковано 29 сер 2020
- "$500 a month at Target? What are you buying at this place?" Comedian John Crist imagines what it would be like for a married couple to make a budget during quarantine.
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristcomedy.com - Комедії
“Well at least we don’t need a census, cuz the government KNOWS we’re white” haha
Followed up with him defending golf lessons.
Best line ever!
Rotfl
I love the racial stereotype jokes lol
just gave this like number 667 you're welcome. WHEW
"Your body has not changed since middle school" -savage
😁😂
The irony of John Crist telling someone else to shorten Instagram stories 😂
I thought the same thing...
People LOVE THEM!!!
Same thoughts
“I didn’t know I married Dave Ramsey, thanks!” 😂😂😂
THE Dave Ramsey though.....
Dave Ramsey is a millionaire, she WISHES she were married to him.
Wife: Let's cut down on cosmetics
Husband: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Also husband: _Gets murdered_
Well she did ask about that life insurance policy . . .
She's drop-dead gorgeous. And..he roasts her? Ouch!
RamblinRick The “husband” will NEVER win that one.
RamblinRick You should see what he does to people he isn’t married to!
10 mil life insurance 🤔
“And he’ll leave his family every Saturday morning for seven hours to go fishing with his friends.”
Brad Paisley from the corner: you called?
Jason Shoots LOL!!!!!!!!
"Well I love her, but I love to fish."
Cloudydreamsofyugi
“...”
“WEELLLL IIIIIIIMMMMMM GONNA MISS HER!”
A country song in real life.
that is actually me and my uncle except we are usually gone longer
“This is gonna be our year” Is the most Cowboys statement ever.
Our
Yup, my youth pastor has been saying that for the past 5 1/2 years.
Because us cowboys fans live in the 90s
well on the bright side you will have a lot more free time during playoffs!
“Cause they know we’re white” I lost it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“ThIs iS GoInG tO bE OuR yEaR” says ever cowboy fan ever 🤣
This hurts.....in the most relatable way.....and we go to Gatlinburg in October.....with my parents. Stop.....just stop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hey they are staying out of jail and no police pursuits. I'm a fan but I'm realistic thats a good year.
It's the Cleveland Browns Year.
"Teach a man to fish and he leaves his family for 8 hours to fish with his friends" 😂
"At least we don't have to send in our census data this year..." 🤣💀
"Better then you deserve" 💀 I could hear Ramsey's voice 🤣🤣
I deserve lol not you
He said you,
than*
Jesus Saves Love God✝️
@@barbieblue3336 Jesus Saves Love God✝️
Oh my Gosh! The "better than you deserve" line had us laughing so hard! Excellent! Xx
"I feel like we're living a little bit above our means."
"Mm, wow, I didn't know I married Dave Ramsey-thanks."
"Okay, well...I'm better than you deserve...."
This part was perfect, especially that comeback. 🤣👌👌
Also loved the census, cosmetics, and vacation parts, amongst others. XD
And boy, the Cowboys thing is accurate. X,D
Welp, I guess I can at least commend the fans' loyalty and optimism!
Also: When you're hoping to _get_ jacked, and instead your wife says you look like the second half of Jack and the Beanstalk.…
Car insurance... you definitely need it cause you can't drive
😂😂
Not gonna lie, that Gatlinburg comment hurt a little. LOL
Having family from East TN, I'd have to agree - ha! But the Dixie Stampede comment was great! Although I may or may not have had relatives who have worked there ;)
I live an hour and a half away and we rent a cabin every year. Dollywood multiple times a year. The kids love it
Not from the area and I have both thought about going to Dollywood and buying land about 45 mins away from Dollywood to a little town that pretty much only has a little Walmart and 5 places to eat out. Maybe we should spend time there first to check it out before we buy in the area. Don't worry, we are not the type of people who would ruin it, I get the fear. As of right now we have only driven through but it seemed far more us than the North. We used to be a Disney World fan but Dollywood looks better. Disney has creepy levels of being controlling and giving very little while taking a whole lot of your money. You can stay in a real castle in Europe for what Disney charges to basically stay in a motel 6 with three circles that look like a mouse in one design feature of the room. It's such a joke. Disney jumped the shark in early 2020 when they started to charge for parking at their tiny "value" rooms that are twice the cost of universal rooms but half the size of universal rooms.
I also know a lot of people feel convicted against supporting Disney and I fully get that too. One the one hand they are pretty clean and the movies are safer than most. On the other hand they normalize way too much evil stuff and make what's actually real and ugly look cute and downplayed. Everything does that and it's hard to get away from. I mean we could talk about Dolly too. Disney, however, seems to actually push some bad stuff as a goal of some kind. I think when Dolly does something concerning, she meant well based on the info she had. Like helping cover the costs of "something" in 2020 to the tune of a million dollars and also giving it a free push of publicity. That "something" has opposing scientists and doctors getting fired for not supporting or expressing concerns, that goes beyond just the "something" itself and into all kids of ethical concerns people are willing to leave their job over for the same of letting go of a broken system that is not obeying the oath to, "do no harm" and allow for informed consent. I don't think most people have a clue what is being called science right now. Science used to be defined as to question, test, and re-test over time to seek the truth. I haven't even seen that allowed lately. Maybe, in part, because of what Dolly funded and supported that was even tested on a fetus. Funny how HR now gets to choose what science is allowed and what scientists are allowed to say. My point is it seems impossible to even find good things to buycot, meaning, feel good giving money to. Vacations are not on many peoples priority lists anymore. Maybe all of this is part of God's plan. Let what's broken destroy itself so better can come and take it's place. Some departments at my local hospital are running at half staffed. When are the better hospitals going to pop up and higher all these ethical workers? Do you know there was an ethical "something" that was being made in Israel but the gov. shut it down? Shows there is/was a better way.
$10 million? By that look at the end, someone's about to be widowed 😬🤣
Love when she says " I can cut down on cosmetics"
He makes those faces...
Wife with no makeup hahaha
“This is gonna be our year” -Cowboys fans 2016, I mean 2017- I mean actually that’s every year
"WE DEM BOYZ" - every basic cowboys fan
Yep that’s your lingo😂😂... #goniners👌🏻
Reaction & Review with Wesley I’m a Bengals fan 😔
I know you! You are in the Blimey Cow and Jordan Taylor comments.
AVJR haha yep that’s me
"you look like beanstalk" hahaha
I just got back from Gatlinburg. My happy place. Don't be dissin' the burg!😂
Man I wished my body didn’t change since middle school. You are one lucky man John.
It started with them only having one kid and then towards the end he says, "The kids will love it" 😂
Omg the Dave Ramsey line...."better than you deserve" 😂😂
I was 5 years of chronic illness. Semi Housebound, lost my health, job, finances and my fiance left me. I couldn't even look at electronic screen for 5 minutes, or hold a 10-minute conversation.
But God did an amazing work. And if he can do this, he can do it in you also. 😇🙏
I now have a Christian Channel where I encourage people and show them what God did in my life and that there is hope for you also.
*Keep believing even when it's hard* 🙏❤️🙌
*All things are possible with God*
How Christian of you - evangelizing your bullshit in someone else's space where no one asked for it....
Melissa Michael you seem like a pleasant soul... ☺️
Matt Mason - Christian Channel May God bless you and that you may have abundant life.Theres a revival going on brother
@@lionoffireministries that is awesome! Keep sharing God's story!
I'm in the same boat. God has healed my spirit, but my body is His to use and do what He will. I give my life to Him, even if I'm not well in body, He is still good, and still uses all the pain for His glory if we allow it! Our eternal souls are what God longs to heal most, but He can heal anything and transform anyone. God bless you and your story!
That look in her eyes when she finds out how much their life insurance is... he better sleep with one eye open! Lol
I wish we would get the names of the people who are in these skits with John. He finds such talented people, they deserve credit. This is especially true of the actors who play "wife" or "girlfriend"
I thought this was actually his wife.
Lol, the life insurance policy! My wife and I ALWAYS joke about that. Lol
let's hope she continues to joke about it
And here I am feeling extra because we raised our recreation/eating out budget to $20/month.
Life insurance policy😂🤣🤣
“27 years left on our mortgage
Oh great, yeah no, i’ll be dead by then” 😂💀
If we start the day with the Holy Spirit in prayer, everything changes.
If we pray at the start of the day we see the world through *GOD’S EYES* 👀 😇🔥🔥🔥
But if we don’t pray we see God through the _world’s eyes_ 😢😔
*PRAY and connect to His Spirit*
Welcome back, John. I have missed your comedy. You are still spot on! Your comedic timing is excellent. The lady in this video works well with you. Keep making great videos!!
"You haven't changed since middle school"😂
"Wow I didn't know I married Dave Ramsey" oh she got you brother😂😂
Your "wife" is so funny! Keep doing videos with her, she's great!
The cosmetics reaction was on par with tim's things you don't say to your wife, I brought you a treadmill.
Love it and very brave to even put it in the skit.
At least you two are showing each other the budget! My ex never showed me it, so I didn't know how much to spend on groceries.
I’m really relieved that people have given him grace. I was so afraid that wasn’t gonna happen. So glad to have him back 👌🏻🙃
Geez these videos are getting better and better 😂
They’re talking about Gatlinburg like it’s Pigeon Forge
john, it's good to have u back!!
Thank you for bringing us laughter son😂🙏🏼🎶 God bless you John😀
John - it’s so good to have you back brother
Too real! Too real! Lol
The cosmetics line!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
They talked so much smack to and about each other 😂😂
"Better than you deserve" that's awesome
“No one cares about your skin care routine”. Love it!!!
Love it you bring my family joy
These two are great!
3:15 "the kids will love it." Earlier he said we have one kid 🤣
My husband has a hard time remembering how many we have too 😂
I caught that too
There could be plans to have more kids in the future. I remember when we were attempting to conceive our second child, we’d sometimes say “kid” and “kids”.
I love the video he made when he was at Disney World, he had a lot of imaginary kids on that day! Lol
Jeanette Marie ROFLMFAO!!!!!! I cannot believe I forgot the “fun” Alberta couples will have budgeting for the 10 days known as Calgary Stampede, Red Deer Westerner Days and/or Edmonton K-Days. Throw in the various 3-4 day music festivals, weekend air shows, the smaller cities and towns having their special weekends and Vulcan having an occasional Star Trek Convention, there are LOTS of “I want to do...” discussions.
Lol. Now we need a series
You rock John!
“It was dark 🙄”
“It was evening” had me dead 😂
The life insurance policy joke XD
Just don’t cancel Netflix. Cancel the kids college fund - just not our only quarantine salvation.
Lmbo!
But it makes sense, no? 😉 I guess college is a moot point when you might be about to kill each other before anyone makes it there, eh? 😅😄
😂😂😂
John Crist is so talented.
im glad ur back making vids i missed u! :)
This is my wife and I every time we budget! Lol
Your videos are always so funny. Thanks for making me laugh. I hope you have a blessed life.
The life insurance question just made this sketch
Justine Corrington The look on her face cracked me up!
Thesr r great john!!!god bless u....new sub.cant believe i never saw u b4!!u rock!!!!!
When he started it off with a Cowboys mention, I knew it was gonna be good
This is great
I have no idea how the person behind the camera can keep a straight face. I would ruin every other take rolling on the floor laughing.
Dave Ramsey - "Better than I deserve" - lol.
I laughed Out loud at this.
"Your body literally has not changed since middle school." Lol 😂 😆 😝 🤣
I love the last part.
Lol hahaha this is so funny the golf thing
"Senior-Tour John Daly" 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂 hilarious
glad you are back!!!!!!!
"We can go on a vacation to Gatlinburg"
Me: you guys go on vacation?
Wife was straight roasting 😂
I literally just watched this in Gatlinburg.
Bahaha! The Dave Ramsey shoutout! Better than I deserve 😆
Love it man.
Hysterical!!!!!😂😂😂
😂😂😂 This was funny!!!
If you don't see anymore videos from John, you received 10 million reasons why not, at the end of this video😂🤣😂🤣
This one is my 2nd FAV!😅
The Dixie stampede... 😂😂😂
Welcome back, John!
I live near gatlinburg I’d come meet y’all if it wasn’t a joke lol
The Hollow is near Gatlinburg. No shame in going!
Some of their best work!
So real 😂
Good stuff and laughs lol
Your the funniest guy I have ever heard
Just found this a few hours after my first Dave Ramsey finance class 😂😂😂
A spa day in budget = a new rifle In budget
The Dixie Stampede. 😁😂🤣
Lol...spot on
We demand the outtakes!
Gatlinburg got me 😂😂😂
who else read the thumbnail as "quarantine making a budget"?
"Because I'm better than YOU deserve..." N I C E
This was more a roast of each other lol
As an East Tennessean, the Gatlinburg stereotypes were spot on 😂