Finding Joy in Grief: A Radical and Mindful Approach to Grieving | Sky Jarrett | TEDxMargueriteLake

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  • Опубліковано 5 лют 2023
  • In this talk Sky Jarrett discusses how everything we love, we lose. This talk provides a radical but helpful approach to tackle the inevitability of loss we all face. Named one of NYC Journal's Top 30 Most Inspiring Women, Sky Jarrett is a former consulting executive at one of the world’s largest consulting firms, founder of Transcend Global, and creator of the Relaxed Hustle™ Retreat. As a transformational leadership coach and mindfulness instructor, Sky partners with senior executives at Fortune 500 companies worldwide to help them build personal mastery and amplify their human potential This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 134

  • @gephrygeph6480
    @gephrygeph6480 4 місяці тому +14

    My wife passed away of gallbladder cancer on December 21, 2023. She fought hard for 9 months. I experienced all the emotions and responses Sky described. The grief of losing a spouse is the most awful feeling, but I will continue to move forward, taking my wife, the love of my life, with me every step of the way, the rest of my life. "Mindful grieving"...what a great concept! I accept my grief, allow it and cry because of it. After, I actually feel better, much better than when I initially bottled it up.

  • @janetrussell2908
    @janetrussell2908 9 місяців тому +8

    “You do not have to let them go just because they have passed” Comforting to me now in my grieving

  • @juliajesson1068
    @juliajesson1068 8 місяців тому +29

    I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and lost my beautiful 23 year old grandson a week ago today, on my birthday, I’m destroyed, how can anyone move on from such pain, I want them back, I would gladly change places with them.

    • @yvonneshanson1525
      @yvonneshanson1525 8 місяців тому +3

      I'm so so sorry!.. I just lost my mom and feel the same way.. it's so unbearable, there truly are no words that anyone can say 😢.. I'm sending you a big hug 🥀

    • @juliajesson1068
      @juliajesson1068 8 місяців тому +1

      @@yvonneshanson1525 bless you chick, I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love and hugs.💞

    • @yvonneshanson1525
      @yvonneshanson1525 8 місяців тому

      @@juliajesson1068 🩷🫂

    • @LanishaMclean
      @LanishaMclean 8 місяців тому +2

      I know your pain. I lost my son when he was 10 yrs old from a seizure and my husband 3 months ago to a car wreck.

    • @juliajesson1068
      @juliajesson1068 8 місяців тому

      @@LanishaMclean so so sorry chick.

  • @rhulanimbhenyani7065
    @rhulanimbhenyani7065 9 місяців тому +15

    Just lost my mother to cancer a week ago. I just searched "how to deal with grief" and this video came up. God brought me here,I'm in a difficult season 😢

    • @padafamfans
      @padafamfans 8 місяців тому +3

      I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad three years ago, and I haven't been the same person ever since. I try not to think about him being gone, but when I do, I can't stop crying.

  • @talori5417
    @talori5417 7 місяців тому +7

    My dad suddenly died two weeks ago.
    One day It hit me that I will lose him one day. I wept.
    Two weeks later he left his body.
    I miss him greatly but I’m not broken.
    I’m going through the motions but I can still on.
    I’m shocked that I feel this way.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 6 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for sharing my love. Tell me more about the shock...what's the feeling that you're shocked about?

  • @nicholasdmello3400
    @nicholasdmello3400 3 місяці тому +3

    I have lost my son Nathaniel to a road accident about 15 days ago. The pain of loss is unbearable, life seems meaningless.
    I have been watching videos on grief n how does one deal with it, if at all.
    It has been of help to me to strengthen myself to confront the grief, one can't succumb to grief, life has to go on for self and surviving kids n family.
    This is one video which has in a gentle manner given hope to those like me who are grieving. Pray that all those hurting and grieving be blessed with the inner strength and grace from the Lord Jesus Christ, to journey in their grief and yet live life happily

    • @carissahullfish415
      @carissahullfish415 3 місяці тому

      I lost my 17 year old a week ago. The pain is beyond words. Every moment of waking life is torture. I have been looking online for how to grieve. How to live for my family and children. I can't curl up and disappear. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. The void is huge in my stomach.

  • @philaman1972
    @philaman1972 2 дні тому

    Like a comet hurtling through space, grief smashes into *everybody* multiple times in our lives; that's how life is designed!

  • @IndigosMum
    @IndigosMum Рік тому +24

    I was absolutely side swiped by anticipatory grief. I knew mum was deteriorating rapidly but it wasnt until i started nursing her 8 days before her death that it hit me. This beautiful lady captured my pain. It has only been 2 and a half weeks and feels like a lifetime. I am feeling isolated but determined to not lose myself.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +7

      Liz my love, please know that you are not alone…I am standing with you in solidarity on the journey that I know oh too well can feel…discombobulating to say the least…sending you so much love…from my heart to yours ❤

    • @IndigosMum
      @IndigosMum Рік тому +3

      @@skyjarrett4369 bless you! I feel your love from here xx

  • @Officialmryuck
    @Officialmryuck 3 місяці тому +5

    I don't know you all but I love y'all!

  • @rormarr
    @rormarr Рік тому +9

    Time doesn’t affect grief, but putting the work does. Really good lessons here Sky. Thank you.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      It’s a big one for me Pillsy. Glad to know that it resonated for you

  • @AnnapolisGirly
    @AnnapolisGirly 10 місяців тому +11

    I appreciated this. I’m not there yet but I’ve lost my mom and now my son. It’s incomprehensible right now. I need to function so I’m listening. My mom had a wonderful life and passed at 94, but my son. My son. I just can’t get there yet. I have never felt such loss and grief.

    • @MaryLou913
      @MaryLou913 9 місяців тому +3

      I’m so sorry. 🌹

    • @Sunlova
      @Sunlova 8 місяців тому +3

      I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you❤

    • @davelaseer1344
      @davelaseer1344 Місяць тому

      So sorry for your lost. There’s no greater pain than a parent losing a baby. I lost 3 one summer and the pain burns daily.

  • @debracurboy5844
    @debracurboy5844 2 місяці тому +2

    I am so sorry for your pain 😢. I lost my Mark 5 months ago and I know your pain. God bless you and give you his strength ❤😂

  • @gleecares
    @gleecares Рік тому +5

    Well spoken... good guidance

  • @ricardogonzalezrugamas2113
    @ricardogonzalezrugamas2113 Рік тому +8

    I recently lost my grandpa and this hit home. Thank you for sharing your journey and wisdom

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      I’m sorry Ricardo. Warms my heart to know that you found this helpful. Thank you for taking the time to write 🙏🏽

  • @sophial7507
    @sophial7507 Рік тому +8

    Hearing that others feel disconnected when they are grieving is in itself a sense of belonging. I didn’t know what to expect when my parent died, and one of my struggles has really been not feeling connected with others who aren’t going through the same grief. Feeling like I can’t continue to talk about it, because people eventually expect it to hurt less, usually just within a couple of months. I think grief-groups are probably a fantastic resource. And I decided to reach out and check in with friends, who’ve lost loved ones, not right after their loss but months after, just because I know that time was and is really difficult for me as well.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +2

      “Hearing that others feel disconnected when they are grieving is in itself a sense of belonging” I just love that Sophia and have actually never thought of it that way. When my mother passed, I called my brother who had also lost his mom…he said “welcome to the club sis, you have now crossed the threshold many haven’t yet and until you know, you just don’t know.” Those words hit hard and it is from that place of uniting us all that I found the strength to do the very hard thing to face my fear of public speaking to share this message. Thank you watching, thank you taking the time to write, thank you for sharing your story. What’s the name of your parent who passed ?

    • @sophial7507
      @sophial7507 Рік тому +2

      Lars, he was called Lasse, a common nickname here in Sweden :) He died in September, after two years suffering from brain cancer. I can’t express enough how much I recognized myself in your story. The grieving before he passed, how exhausting it was to care for him, the shame I felt for feeling so, but also the happiness and joy of spending that time with him. And it’s definitely a club that you don’t know exist until you get there, but there is some comfort in that we are not alone in this club. Thank you for your TEDTalk, I took some time yesterday, before going to bed, and had a mindful moment of grief and gratitude. I appreciate it!

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +2

      @@sophial7507 my heart is always with you Sophia. May Lasse’s soul rest in peace 🙏🏽

  • @negarn2490
    @negarn2490 Рік тому +6

    It is actually the best video about grief that I had been watched in my life!

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      Thank you Negar…I appreciate your kind words…

  • @simonbrown9168
    @simonbrown9168 Рік тому +7

    I wish I was able to like this Ted Talk multiple times. It’s absolutely true. This was heartfelt and so authentically expressed. Thanks for sharing with me. ❤ Sending you nothing but love as always
    Tiffy

  • @AStewart-bk2br
    @AStewart-bk2br Рік тому +3

    Thank you for this, Sky!

  • @robertashaffer3950
    @robertashaffer3950 7 місяців тому

    This was phenomenal. Thank you so much 🙏🙏

  • @mariamajallow9417
    @mariamajallow9417 Рік тому +1

    Thank you

  • @gerry498
    @gerry498 11 місяців тому

    Amazing video! So helpful and encouraging! Thank you!

  • @sarapowell46
    @sarapowell46 Рік тому +2

    Amaaaazing!! You are such a powerful storyteller ❤🎉

  • @phithai-vietdo6285
    @phithai-vietdo6285 Рік тому +2

    Beautifully delivered and heartfelt. I can resonate with being caught in that distraction and irritability. It is quite liberating to tap into the heart and practice shifting that mindset.

  • @BBlair-if8tj
    @BBlair-if8tj Місяць тому

    Wise and helpful. Beautiful presentation!
    Thank you!!

  • @normallife3045
    @normallife3045 Рік тому +4

    Very helpful. Lost my father recently... couldn't say final good bye or love him.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +2

      Standing with you in your loss my love 🙏 May you find peace

  • @finfuller
    @finfuller Рік тому +8

    Sky, it’s no wonder you’re a Mindful Coach; your ability to voice so simply, so poignantly, the very complex experiences and emotions that we ALL struggle with, is amazing.
    I am learning how to give myself permission to grieve and to feel real joy, without guilt. Thank you.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +2

      Love to hear Karen that you’re finding it possible to give yourself the permission to experience your grief ❤

  • @evontherealtor
    @evontherealtor Рік тому +3

    Thank you for sharing

  • @debapriyomitter6320
    @debapriyomitter6320 9 місяців тому +1

    Sky, your explanations and clarifications are as expansive as your name, really! I have found in this video, a kind of closure for my trauma involving sudden death of my father 3 years ago in Covid and the helplessness of it all during those horrid times and the pain of restarting my life from an emotional zero.
    Additionally, I can well understand your identity crisis in such a hopeless, helpless situation...... but thats the way life goes. Best of lucks for the days ahead ✌

  • @meditatorsguide
    @meditatorsguide Рік тому +5

    I love the idea of creating the refuge in advance. Knowing the grief will come. The wave WILL come. There was a sense of relief when you shared that

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      It’s such an important part of the process 🙏🏽

  • @tracyrussell4365
    @tracyrussell4365 Рік тому +2

    So insightful , giving us a road map. Thanks for the guidance Sky .

  • @teresawoodland
    @teresawoodland Рік тому +3

    Thank you. Such deep wisdom in this. It captures so much of what I have learned about love from losing people. The pain is part of the love.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      That’s exactly right Teresa…the pain is part of the process 🙏🏽

  • @keleeshamarley7178
    @keleeshamarley7178 Рік тому +2

    I love this Sky! This is phenomenal. Thank you always🫶🏽🥰🙏🏽🥰🫶🏽🙏🏽💜🙏🏽🫶🏽

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Thank you my love for watching, commenting and for all your love as always

  • @cindyloughran5925
    @cindyloughran5925 Рік тому +7

    This is so powerful! Sky shares from the heart about an experience we will all face in our lives, in a way that is compassion- filled, gentle, inspiring and comforting. The talk is packed with useful tools and strategies to help us navigate the pain of loss and grief. Thank you!

  • @yaniquegriffiths6713
    @yaniquegriffiths6713 Рік тому +5

    Sky, having witnessed firsthand your journey through grief, I must say that there is much truth in all that you’ve shared. You’re living it, growing in wisdom and ever increasing your capacity for compassion. Thank you for sharing yourself and your knowledge with the world.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Thank you my friend for being a pillar of strength for me and for our family during this time. I know you know from all that you’ve endured yourself. ❤

  • @loriannmichele
    @loriannmichele Рік тому +2

    So very powerful. Thank you for sharing your journey and the tools we can all use to navigate the inevitable losses we will face and grieve on this journey of life.

  • @pamelacausa7479
    @pamelacausa7479 Рік тому +2

    Amazing talk, Sky. It is heart-touching. Thank you for sharing your experience with us

  • @cherylquerry6664
    @cherylquerry6664 Рік тому +2

    Thank you Sky for this incredible insight! I especially liked the suffering equation, which can have a variety applications beyond grief as well. I appreciate your sharing your heartfelt personal story. Blessings on your path!

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      You’re so right Cheryl! That suffering formula applies to so many things in our lives. Thank you for watching 🙏🏽

  • @mattwexler3682
    @mattwexler3682 Рік тому +2

    Thank you, Sky, for your bravery, your vulnerability, and your wisdom. Your invaluable perspective and advice here resonates deeply for me.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Warms my heart to know that the message resonates for you…thank you Matt for being a source of perspective and wisdom through this journey

  • @lorrainegordon8391
    @lorrainegordon8391 Рік тому +2

    Thanks Sky for a beautiful, thoughtful talk. Sharing your personal experience with loss and grief made it even more powerful and relatable. I will share with my communities as we are all experiencing various forms of loss. Bravo!! ❤️👍🏽

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Thanks Lorraine for listening and for spreading what I hope can be medicine in the healing journeys of those suffering with loss 🙏🏽

  • @elisacanali2751
    @elisacanali2751 Рік тому +3

    This deeply touched my heart ❤you are absolutely incredible

  • @desirastewart7651
    @desirastewart7651 Рік тому +5

    So much of what was said resonated as truth to my own experience with loss and grief. Thank you for giving language to what I have lived and known. I will revisit this talk many more times; it offered validation and grace. Thank you.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      Warms my heart Desira to know that you received validation and grace. Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience 🙏🏽

  • @MargaretBrooks-xl5fq
    @MargaretBrooks-xl5fq Рік тому +3

    Sky, thank you for an exceptional talk. I appreciate your vulnerability. I love that you highlighted that grief is a full body experience. My church is starting a grief group. I will share this.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Love that Margaret. May this message soften the hardship of their grief. Thank you 🙏🏽

  • @joanleroy538
    @joanleroy538 Рік тому +2

    Sky, I totally loved this presentation. I could so relate to it. You have touched my heart and soul in a way that is truly remarkable. Thanks for this, because I really needed to know a lot of the information that you shared but mostly that grief has no expiration date. Thanks again my darling. Love and blessings.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Warms my heart to hear that. All my love ❤

  • @loutrinchere3714
    @loutrinchere3714 Рік тому +3

    What an incredible gift of Wisdom Sky!!
    I loved how you grounded us in the reality that we will all experience deep grief, that we do have some say in how we will experience it, and that preparing for it can lessen the pain. You provided a straightforward, step by step roadmap of how to do this. The mindset shift and suffering formula are so helpful.
    Thank you for sharing the wisdom you gained from your experiences. I will be reviewing your presentation many times for myself, and will be sharing it frequently with others as needed. What a gift!!

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 10 місяців тому

      Aww thanks so much for such kind words 🙏🏽

  • @ChildofRuth
    @ChildofRuth Рік тому +1

    Sky your heartfelt talk will help countless others go through these difficult emotions with hope. Your message is powerful
    and timely. Both your parents were big personalities with big hearts and you have made them proud!

  • @chiquitahunter
    @chiquitahunter Рік тому +3

    Listening to how you went through the pain in losing your mom made me realise no one can feel those emotions for another, but there are ways of making it easier for yourself and also others who are going through loss!
    Having a road map is very important for me as well as remembering you don't ever have to let your loved ones go!..👏🏼
    Excellent talk from a very beautiful soul.💖

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Thank you for your kind words Teresa 🙏🏽

  • @PatriceFordLyn
    @PatriceFordLyn Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your journey and your insights Sky. How can I find out more about your work in mindfulness?

  • @EryberrieTrueCrime
    @EryberrieTrueCrime 5 місяців тому +1

    My wife has been dead less than a week and I feel I've been on this roller coaster forever as her death was a year in the making. It's so painful I have no idea how to handle it.

  • @97warlock
    @97warlock 6 місяців тому +1

    keeping there memory alive, keeps the greif active ive learned,.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 6 місяців тому +1

      But does the grief ever actually go away though? The key for me has been to welcome the grief, to befriend it...the more I try to wish it away is the stronger it comes up...what we resist persists...I feel. What are your thoughts on that?

  • @betsysloan4619
    @betsysloan4619 Рік тому +3

    This is spot on!
    I celebrate my anniversary, my husband 's birthday, Father's 's Day and the anniversary of my husband's passing.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      Love that Betsy ❤ Standing with you in your loss my love

    • @betsysloan4619
      @betsysloan4619 Рік тому +2

      @@skyjarrett4369 ,
      Thank you, Sky.
      I encourage people to honor their loved ones 's memories by celebrating them!

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +3

      @@betsysloan4619 which is surprisingly hard for so many people. They are all lucky to have you with them on the journey

    • @betsysloan4619
      @betsysloan4619 Рік тому +2

      @@skyjarrett4369
      Thank you,Sky💓

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +2

      @@betsysloan4619 thank you Betsy for being such a beacon of light 🙏🏽

  • @srblond
    @srblond Рік тому +12

    As someone who lost their mom recently had to caregive for my mom for over a year by myself, this speaker has zero clue how helpful it is to have sisters to take some of the load off.

    • @geminil2415
      @geminil2415 7 місяців тому +4

      As someone who had 5 siblings who all came together to care with all our love for our dying mother.I can't imagine how terrible it must be to do that alone and not only through the loss of our loved ones, but through any stressful situation in life.All love and blessings to you❤

  • @chantellemurray1887
    @chantellemurray1887 Рік тому +2

    Very good

  • @glenclarke6909
    @glenclarke6909 Рік тому +4

    Being impacted by grief caused by the loss of my son, and also being close to, and have been impacted by grief associated with the losses Sky referenced; I was struck by the consummate ease with which she bared her feelings as she personalized her presentation, and how eloquently and professionally she presented, on the topic of "Finding Joy in Grief".
    There are quite a few take-aways from this presentation that can certainly help those of us who are still struggling.

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому +1

      We’ve surely gone through the wringer of grief haven’t we uncle Glen ? Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m blessed to be able to journey with you in our grief

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      We’ve surely gone through the wringer of grief haven’t we uncle Glen ? Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m blessed to be able to journey with you in our grief

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      We’ve surely gone through the wringer of grief haven’t we uncle Glen ? Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m blessed to be able to journey with you in our grief

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      We’ve surely gone through the wringer of grief haven’t we uncle Glen ? Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m blessed to be able to journey with you in our grief

    • @skyjarrett4369
      @skyjarrett4369 Рік тому

      We’ve surely gone through the wringer of grief haven’t we uncle Glen ? Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m blessed to be able to journey with you in our grief

  • @beatleme2
    @beatleme2 2 місяці тому +1

    loss my wife of 13 yrs to cervix cancer tumor within 3 mths thinking it was menopause n static nerve pain just turned 50 :(... bleed out on the op table after getting blood clots in her leg trying to remove after a kidney tap days before but cant prove, tho they checked for clots prior 8 1 23

  • @ldolan4051
    @ldolan4051 Рік тому +3

    There are different griefs.

  • @katalinbohdan9122
    @katalinbohdan9122 9 днів тому

    My fiance was just murdered in the Ukrainian war. I can't handle this pain of losing him in such a violent death

  • @harleyquinn6692
    @harleyquinn6692 6 місяців тому

    💔

  • @MS-ns4ki
    @MS-ns4ki 4 місяці тому +2

    I have no idea why people think they are immune

  • @jasminespence1474
    @jasminespence1474 5 місяців тому +1

    This woman has obviously never lost a child!! You can only say loosing a parent is difficult if you have never lost a child 🤨Try loosing 2 children like I have 💔💔

    • @overthehill067
      @overthehill067 4 місяці тому

      My heart breaks for you Jasmine. I have lost both parents and almost all siblings of our once large family but never a child. I ach to even imagine what you must be feeling right now. God bless and keep you on this journey. Keep your strength close. 💞

    • @hannesRSA
      @hannesRSA 3 місяці тому

      Especially a minor to suicide, unexpectedly. Blaming yourself each day for what you could have done. Imagining what their mental state was and how unnecessary it was.

    • @LisaLisa0624
      @LisaLisa0624 Місяць тому

      🥹🫶🏾🙏🏽🫶🏾🥹

  • @97warlock
    @97warlock 6 місяців тому

    only strangers care to listen. only.