Grief is Not a Life Sentence | Jesse Brisendine | TEDxCSULB

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  • Опубліковано 22 січ 2019
  • What if we didn’t always have to grieve and suffer after the death of a loved one? In this sincere and moving TEDx Talk, Jesse Brisendine offers his story and a new perspective on how you can heal from loss.
    Jesse Brisendine is the creator of "Zero Limits Coaching," a speaker, and author who motivates, educates and empowers people worldwide to live their lives free from mental and emotional limitations. Over 4,000 individuals and organizations including business leaders, Hollywood celebrities, entrepreneurs, medical professionals, and educators have utilized Jesse's various trainings and services to help them break through limiting beliefs and create purpose driven + fulfilled lives. He mentored nearly 2,000 people on their healing journey after the loss of loved ones. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 411

  • @nomorerealitytv
    @nomorerealitytv 11 місяців тому +3

    death can be an opportunity to choose how we want to live and honor the memories of those we've lost.

  • @nelsonpierse
    @nelsonpierse Рік тому +5

    My heart broke for Jesse losing his friend and his dad within such a short space of time. The death of a parent is a major life changing event.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      It truly is. Thank you for taking the time to watch, comment, and your emotion you shared through my story. ❤️

  • @shhhadowisme
    @shhhadowisme Рік тому +3

    Grief can give us direction, purpose, inspiration when there was none before. Perspective is everything.

  • @amberdenkins
    @amberdenkins Рік тому +8

    Jesse's advice on shifting focus away from grief and towards living life is something I will definitely try to implement myself.

  • @michealrighini
    @michealrighini 10 місяців тому +1

    Finding ways to remember and cherish your loved ones while also living your life is a balancing act, but worth pursuing.

  • @lucasgovenerst
    @lucasgovenerst 10 місяців тому +4

    There's a lot to be said about focusing on the healing process instead of just wallowing in the grieving part of it all. Thank you!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 10 місяців тому

      Appreciate your comment and you for taking the time to watch. Thank you!

  • @suncookrocks
    @suncookrocks 5 років тому +33

    It has been just under 1 year since my wife passed away. We were together for 34 years. I have heard, read, and viewed so much about grief and loss in that time, but this is the best talk I've listened to. The idea of moving from grieving to healing is on point. Thanks Jesse for this Ted Talk video.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +3

      Hi Rob,
      Thank you for taking the time to watch and your very kind words. I hope that this talk can serve you on your healing journey as you live in honor of your wife. Please reach out if I can support you along the way.

    • @juliecorona9744
      @juliecorona9744 2 роки тому +2

      Yes, me too💕 I lost my mom 2 month’s ago and I needed this video ASAP. Thank you !!❤️

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому +1

      @@juliecorona9744 so grateful this message reached you

    • @sueprice4082
      @sueprice4082 6 місяців тому

      I know this is from 4 years ago but so inspiring. I lost my husband of 48 years in Sept 2023 and all the grief groups were draining me. I want some positivity - you have it here - thank you for the hope ❤️

  • @maynardsavery
    @maynardsavery Рік тому +3

    The concept of "healing groups" is a positive way for people to move forward and to reframe their grief.

  • @kadiya68
    @kadiya68 5 років тому +44

    Jesse, you've provided something incredibly powerful and valuable with this Tedx talk.
    My 22 year old son passed away in 2016. I've worked at length with other mothers who've had children pass away;
    You highlighted, early in your talk, the subject of guilt and its role within grief. Everything you said after that addresses the very answer to arresting guilt over choosing to live a joyous, fulfilling life, in the very way I know my son would not just want, but actually DEMAND of me.
    Ben is no longer on this earth with me, but once I freed myself from guilt, I've enjoyed the magical experience of a whole new relationship with Ben. He's not gone or lost. He's never more than a thought away, and I've learned that moving forward doesn't mean leaving my son behind.
    I began the journey to peace and healing. I've chosen peace over pain, and embraced the many gifts, grace and gratitude that awaited me, if only I would take that first step.
    Grief is varied and complex, but it did NOT have to be a negative, painful, life long companion.
    Thank you for helping to get this message out to the masses.
    All the best,
    Cat Lind

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +9

      What beautiful and powerful words, "Moving forward doesn't mean leaving my son behind." So incredibly true

    • @biondna7984
      @biondna7984 3 роки тому

      Thank you for writing this. I have a very troubled son who I fear may someday take his own life. What you've written gives me hope that while I can't save him from his own mind, I can find some peace and wonder yet in my own life.

    • @kironjeetsidhu7828
      @kironjeetsidhu7828 3 роки тому +1

      @@JesseBrisendine Thankyou for sharing your way of looking at the loss.We lost our 18 years old son to suicide in Jam 2021

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому +1

      @@kironjeetsidhu7828 My heart goes out to you for the loss of your son. How are you and your family holding up? Please reach out if you need any support. I'm here for you

    • @kironjeetsidhu7828
      @kironjeetsidhu7828 3 роки тому +1

      Thankyou Jessy for reaching out to me,our loss is very fresh and not able to cope,I have a tremendous feeling of guilt for not being able to prevent the tragedy.I do need your help.

  • @RayaxMaxine
    @RayaxMaxine 2 роки тому +5

    Lost my mom to Covid 3 weeks ago. I am still in so much pain.
    I found myself sobbing watching this because I know my mom would want me to be happy as she loved me so much. She wants me to be successful and achieve great things. She does not want me to stay sad and hurt all the time. I just miss her so much

  • @marisajane7229
    @marisajane7229 5 років тому +37

    This is such a beautiful message. Loaing my fiance Mike has been the most painful to experience of my life. I've been through some not so fun things but the loss of someone you were planning your life with is crippling. It wasn't just my day to day life that changed but I had to let go of all our plans and dreams for the future and try to create a new ones. The problem with that is that all I wanted was him. I didn't want to make plans without him. I didn't want to chase my dreams without him. I didn't want me I wanted us. It took some time but eventually the gratitude I have for the time we did have together became my focus instead of the pain of losing him. I know that he would never want any to see me throw my life away to grief. He would want me to live every minute to the fullest, Chase my dreams, and be the best human being I can be. And so I do those things. And whenever I do, I can feel him cheering me on and I know without a doubt that this separation is only an illusion. He lives on in me.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +3

      Your words are as beautiful as they are meaningful. Thank you for sharing them and your story with us

    • @mahnazniazi1744
      @mahnazniazi1744 4 роки тому +4

      Thank you for this, just what I needed to read. The focus on gratitude of them being in your life rather than the pain of loss is tough but a beautiful way to look at it. Maybe a gratitude journal is a good idea. X

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +2

      @@mahnazniazi1744 gratitude journals can be very helpful. I highly recommend keeping one.

    • @Laura-we8oo
      @Laura-we8oo 3 роки тому +2

      Marisa, your words described perfectly what I feel about my future, plans and dreams having lost my partner... I need time but I do hope to reach to the point you got to overcome the pain and imagine the future ahead. Thanks for sharing your experience, it gives us hope.

    • @marisajane7229
      @marisajane7229 3 роки тому +3

      @@Laura-we8oo thank you so much for your kind words. Early on in my grieving I found myself feeling very misunderstood and alone. I found myself avoiding any kind of social interaction because no one got it and they looked at me like i was an alien who took over the body of the girl they once knew. I was constantly searching for the right words to describe what I was feeling but no matter how I said it, the people around me just couldn’t connect with my experiences and it felt terrible. I can remember several instances when I was either reading an article or watching a video about loss and something the person said hit me so deeply because it was exactly what I had been feeling. It made me feel less alone, less hopeless, like my pain was finally being acknowledged. Those moments were very meaningful for me because they gave me hope that I too could heal.
      Flash forward several years and I’m still healing, I don’t think there will ever be a time when I am “over it” nor would I want there to be. I have however found immense healing by sharing my struggles with others who may be going through the same thing. Being able to be that person for you means a lot to me.

  • @ejamakaatanu1986
    @ejamakaatanu1986 Рік тому +3

    This is the best I've watched soo far, I didn't even know there is a sunrise/sunset day and it happened to fall on the day my beloved brother passed away. The pain I feel is indescribable but I know our Lord Jesus will help me and I will come out victorious. Thank you for your lovely talk God bless you.

    • @gakthegreat
      @gakthegreat Рік тому +1

      very true

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      So grateful you connected with this talk @Ejamaka Atanu. I hope you will join us for Sunrise Sunset Day next year

  • @myfavoritestuff
    @myfavoritestuff Рік тому +1

    UA-cam why oh why do you try and stop people from watching challenging subjects. This should be a talk you want people to hear and understand!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      appreciate you saying that @MyFavoriteStuff

    • @sweetdreams6953
      @sweetdreams6953 Рік тому +1

      I don't think they really do, it's just a warning, likely for people who might have youtube on in the background and don't want to be blindsided by some very difficult subject matter

    • @badkarma2005
      @badkarma2005 Рік тому

      They're just doing a courtesy to people who may not be able to grasp the content from the title.

  • @Officialmryuck
    @Officialmryuck 3 місяці тому +1

    I lost my mom on mother's day, lost my little brother this leap year day, these Ted talks are really helpful, this gentleman gave me more tools to deal with all of this. Thanks y'all at Ted.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 2 місяці тому +2

      @officialmryuck my heart goes out to you for your losses. Please reach out if you need any extra support may the tools you acquire from these talks help you build a life that you can live fully and honor your mom and your brother

  • @rawirinikau
    @rawirinikau 10 місяців тому +1

    I understand the struggle of dealing with imagined future moments after losing someone. It's like a void that can never be filled.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 10 місяців тому

      Certainly can relate to that feeling @rawirinikau

    • @rawirinikau
      @rawirinikau 10 місяців тому

      @@JesseBrisendine 💙💙

  • @violetbrown939
    @violetbrown939 5 років тому +14

    I've watched this numerous times and it is one of the best ones I've seen for dealing with the loss of loved ones and how to honour their life. Thank you Jesse Brisendine. Everyone who has lost a loved one needs to see and hear this.

    • @yvonnerahui8729
      @yvonnerahui8729 4 роки тому +1

      Violet Brown ..I agree with your comment. I've shared to my daughter for her & her 3 children to watch together. .they lost their number one hubby & dad 3 August this year..so it's still very raw. Lots of prayer has helped them & my daughter knows there has been Gods help..plus some amazing things happen that the 11year old daughter has said..'oh mum, they are God moments'.
      This chap was very good & gave good pratical helps. I'm so glad to have come across it.😊..probably Holy Spirit played a part in that too!😆

  • @therealmeisme
    @therealmeisme Рік тому +3

    I can definitely relate to him saying he equated the pain to how much he loved them, and then feeling like if you let go of that pain you were also letting go of the love. I'm thankful that I know better now.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      grateful you had that awareness @TheRealMe it will serve you tremendously through life

  • @Frostlite
    @Frostlite 10 місяців тому +2

    Changing our focus can lead to healing... I know to some it can feel like a disservice to those who have passed to not show respect through mourning but truly, it's not a good way to celebrate them. If they loved us and wanted us to be happy while they were alive, the would still want that in death, and to look back at our memories of them with joy.

  • @tarahjaiden1680
    @tarahjaiden1680 Рік тому +2

    What a wonderful way to start a talk by making us all terrified to go swimming again....thanks Jesse.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      I still hear the theme song every time I go in the water :)

  • @peterfernandez5140
    @peterfernandez5140 4 роки тому +5

    Since the almost crippling grief since the loss of my parents, especially Mom almost a year ago, I have heard many suggestions from well intentioned friends including "your Mom wouldnt have wanted you to suffer and grieve this way". Your focus on healing rather than grieving by living my life in a way that would honor their legacy, living the life of happiness and joy that they would want me to live, really resonated with me this time. Maybe its the sincere and empathetic way you have of telling your story, I dont know. I just wanted you to know that you have deeply touched me and given me a little hope. I will be thinking about what you said for a long time.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +3

      Peter, thank you for taking the time to write and share. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your parents. Having lost a parent too, I know that crippling grief you talk about. I'm so deeply moved that this talk reached you, resonated with you, and has given you some hope. Please reach out if you need any extra support.

  • @adityafidelis4419
    @adityafidelis4419 2 роки тому +6

    Lost both my parents to covid-19 just in the last 2 months it's been just 3 weeks since I lost my mother. It is extremely hard I too feel guilty when am not in pain and being in pain made me feel closer to them and made me feel that I love them. This video has changed me I want to honour both my parents and you have given me a path Jesse. Thank you so much.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 2 роки тому

      @Aditya my heart goes out to you for the loss of your parents. It is completely understandable, and normal, to have those feelings of guilt arise. I'm so grateful that you connected with this message and you have a new path in front of you - one that focuses on honoring your parents.

    • @Officialmryuck
      @Officialmryuck 3 місяці тому

      I'm sorry for your double loss. I lost my mom on mother's Day of all days. It never goes away. I'm truly sorry and I know how you're feeling

  • @deegeorge5711
    @deegeorge5711 5 років тому +5

    I don’t know if you have any idea how much this video has helped anyone who has viewed it. Thank you , Jesse B

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Thank you for the kind words. So happy it is helping :)

  • @corkyamos
    @corkyamos Рік тому +1

    I've been struggling with grief for a long time, but this talk has given me hope and a new way to think about moving on.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      so grateful it connected with you. If you have any questions or need any extra support on your healing journey, please do not hesitate to reach out ❤

  • @therealjuanschmidt
    @therealjuanschmidt Рік тому +1

    It's sad. It stays with us. But ultimately, it helps us grow.

  • @cilla3636
    @cilla3636 4 роки тому +24

    I lost the love of my life suddenly in November 2019 we were married 20 years,I'm lost

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +4

      My heart goes out to you for your loss. Please reach out if you need any support. I hope this talk can shine a small light in this difficult time

    • @99brushes
      @99brushes 4 роки тому +5

      My heart goes out to you. I just lost my mother 2 days ago and I'm lost too.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +2

      @@99brushes sending you love and hugs. Please reach out if you need any support. I'm here for you

    • @meagannettles7201
      @meagannettles7201 3 роки тому +5

      I lost mine 1 month ago Saturday. I'm here with you.

    • @stephanieyorke514
      @stephanieyorke514 3 роки тому +2

      I pray that Jesus will comfort everyone on here that lost a love one. With me each day goes by it gets better. I truly miss my husband who passed away last year.

  • @pauljupp1514
    @pauljupp1514 5 років тому +14

    Excellent and helpful talk jesse. My friend was killed a year ago, and I was focusing on how unhappy I was, and it's been a nightmare, but this has made me see, that my friend would not want this.. He would want me to be happy.. And focus on that, instead of grief.. Focus on love and now. Thanks

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +3

      Beautiful take away Paul. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your friend and I'm so happy to read this talk gave you clarity about what your friend would want for you. Please keep us posted as to how you live today in honor of him.

  • @steveparker2938
    @steveparker2938 2 роки тому +2

    My husband of 21 years died some 5 months ago. For about 3 months, I wallowed in grief, pain, sadness and loneliness. I searched the internet looking for ways to "get over it". I came across Jesse's video and it changed me. For me, the truth of honoring my husband by choosing to live my best life set my path from grieving to healing. Do I still sometimes fall back? You bet I do. It's then I hear my husband's voice telling me pick myself up and get going because this is not how he wants me to live my life. And forward I go. Recently I sold the house we both loved so much because it felt vacant without him. I fell back and fell hard. But if he could, I know he would have said something like, " You gotta move on so get going.", and it was alright again.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 2 роки тому

      Thank you so much for sharing and my heart goes out to you for the loss of your husband. I'm so grateful this you found this talk at the exact moment you needed it and have allowed it to serve as a guide on your healing journey. When I put this talk together, I put it together for people like yourself... for those who could lean into it and use it as a way to look beyond the grief and travel the path of healing.
      Kudos on making the decision to sell the home. That is a closing of one chapter and the opening of a new one. I love how you acknowledged that you sometimes fall back (I do too). Healing and living one's best life is not about never falling, it's about all the falls and the choices the follow to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves on, and continue living forward in honor of those we have lost

  • @lesliecrossI
    @lesliecrossI Рік тому +2

    Love what he says around the 8:00 mark, we absolutely have the power to choose where our focus goes and what our emotional response should be.

  • @cbartl
    @cbartl 5 років тому +13

    What a powerful speech! I love that Jesse is strong enough to tackle the subject of death and grief with poise and true heart. While crying may be an external emotion, you can feel the emotion that radiates through his words. How he did this without breaking down is beyond me and makes me appreciate the man that he is that much more. Thank you Jesse!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Thank you for watching and your kind words :)

  • @jennlogan
    @jennlogan 5 років тому +14

    You were born for this. This talk will be helpful to so many, in many ways, for many years to come. "Healing groups" vs grief groups...love that so much🤩

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +3

      Thank you for taking the time to watch :) So happy it connected with you

    • @kadiya68
      @kadiya68 5 років тому +2

      Jenn Logan, I definitely agree... the fact that everything is focused on the healing, rather than the grieving and mourning is so seemingly simple, and a subtle thing, yet the effect is profound!

    • @yvonnerahui8729
      @yvonnerahui8729 4 роки тому +1

      Jesse Brisendine ..I've just sent it to my darling daughter (in the next room), so she and her 3 children. .15, 13 & 11 can watch together. I know it will give them something g tangible to helping them. I'm one very grateful grandma.
      I'm sorry for all your losses but the bible says to give thanks in all things...well you can be thankful that now you are able to reach so many because of your griefs.
      I too lost my youngest sister & my dad to suicide, my grandparents who I lived with when I was 13, my Nana who lived to 102 but had an extremely stressful time in the last 10months of her life.
      I've decided that when I head back to NZ (Im with daughter in Kalorie WA), I might start a healing group for people who are struggling with pain. .I know my mother is still, after 19 years! And I know my daughter was going to start a grieving group but after watching you the name will change.
      Bless you!

  • @lisaslife83
    @lisaslife83 4 роки тому +3

    Jesse has a way of explaining grief unlike anyone else I have come across. He draws from personal experience, meaning his coaching comes from an authentic place.
    Jesse is the life coach for people who don’t like life coaching.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому

      Thank you for watching and the kind words Lisa

  • @noahjerted
    @noahjerted 11 місяців тому +1

    I remember watching Jaws in theaters. It was a thrilling experience, but I never thought about the emotional impact those kinds of deaths could have on children

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 11 місяців тому

      I'd love to watch Jaws in the theaters one day... it was years and years before I finally felt more comfortable to go in the water. Even now, I sometimes still hear the "bum bum" in my mind.

  • @IllustriousDoom
    @IllustriousDoom 10 місяців тому +1

    I wish that it was more a part of our cultural narrative to honour our loved ones with meaningful actions.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 10 місяців тому

      I do too! Together we can all work towards making that a reality

  • @ananya_soni_
    @ananya_soni_ Рік тому +2

    Person who has gone through grief, understood it and made a choice to choose healing. Every point highlighted, in a positive way, that’s incredible. Thankyou

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому +1

      thank you for sharing and your words. Grateful to read you chose healing

    • @ananya_soni_
      @ananya_soni_ Рік тому +1

      @@JesseBrisendine No I mean you are a person who has gone through grief, tried understanding it and making a choice to focus on healing. That inspires people! To look upto somebody who has a different perspective:)
      And I chose healing too:)

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      @@ananya_soni_ thank you for correcting me :) I appreciate you.

  • @classycari7543
    @classycari7543 5 років тому +15

    Jesse is SO amazing in what he teaches. He is a true inspiration and has helped me with my outlook in my daily life.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому

      Thank you for the kind words and watching the talk

  • @myadanco
    @myadanco Рік тому

    Grief can be a powerful motivator, especially in those cases where you have no answers for why someone chose to pass.

  • @mikkiaester2899
    @mikkiaester2899 11 місяців тому +1

    Death is a tough topic to process, especially when it happens to someone close. We should always remember to cherish the time we have with loved ones.

  • @badkarma2005
    @badkarma2005 Рік тому +1

    Love what he says about how we create our emotions based on our physical bodies! This is something so interesting and powerful that people really don't understand because it is discussed so rarely!

  • @jennavivekulo5524
    @jennavivekulo5524 5 років тому +11

    Bravo Jessie, I share tears with you as I remember lost ones...

  • @silviapalagi
    @silviapalagi Рік тому +1

    I've never thought about grief in this way before, thank you for the new perspective.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      You are most welcome @Silvia Palagi grateful this message connected with you

  • @staceyerickson8541
    @staceyerickson8541 5 років тому +4

    The death of a loved one is one of our greatest sorrows.Jesse speaks with such emotion to help guide all who are experiencing a loss and are lost in that dark hole of grief and despair, to find hope,end suffering and be able to move forward from grief to healing and truly honor our loved ones by celebrating and living as they would want us to.Powerful and inspiring.Awesome presentation,Jesse.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Beautiful words Stacey. Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to share

  • @kristibachman3560
    @kristibachman3560 5 років тому +20

    Congratulations on a great talk! I love the change in perspective from Grieving to Healing and Honoring. Powerful!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому

      Thank you for watching and your kind words Kristi

  • @debfox
    @debfox 3 роки тому +3

    100% this! I’ve lost my mom, grandma, 2 dear friends to suicide and my sweetheart to suicide. I miss him the most. I’m starting a non profit for kids 9 to 12 to heal from trauma at a younger age and hopefully prevent some from repeating unhealthy patterns. Hopefully help them feel connected to others! And my sweetheart has been with me every step of the way! They’re truly closer than we know. Their spirits are still there!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому +1

      That's incredible work you are diving into Debbie. I love what you are choosing to do to honor them. If I can be of any support in your endeavors, please reach out

    • @debfox
      @debfox 3 роки тому +2

      I would love all the help I can get! Write now I’m writing the business plan but I’ll definitely need help. I feel a bit like Noah building an ark sometimes. 😂 He did it though and I can do this through Christ who gives me strength!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому

      @@debfox I believe in you

  • @mtrc8
    @mtrc8 Рік тому +1

    I have been attempting to read about different cultures and how they work through grief... I got more from this presentation than I have in the last 3 years of reading.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      I'm humbled by your comment @MTR C8 thank you for watching & sharing

  • @reneelapee9
    @reneelapee9 5 років тому +16

    Great Ted Talk. I love Jesse's perspective on healing and grieving. It took me three years to grieve after my daughter passed away. I buried myself in work so I didn't have to face my pain. I did finally grieve and learned to find the silver lining. This talk provides a new perspective and is helpful for me and will be helpful for others.

    • @deegeorge5711
      @deegeorge5711 5 років тому

      Renée LaPeé I lost my sister on 1/27/19. I want to lay down and just go to sleep

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      My heart goes out to you for your loss Renee. I'm so grateful this talk connected with you thank you for sharing your journey with us.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +2

      @@deegeorge5711 Sending lots of love & healing energy your way. I'm here for you

    • @deegeorge5711
      @deegeorge5711 5 років тому +1

      Jesse Brisendine thank you

    • @brendadrumm9708
      @brendadrumm9708 3 роки тому +1

      @@deegeorge5711 I've felt like that since I've lost my daughter and son what's to live for people can talk it don't take the pain away the perpose of life left us when they left us

  • @marisolroman0-0
    @marisolroman0-0 10 місяців тому +1

    It's incredible how you turned your grief into something positive. Keep inspiring us with your journey!

  • @DeejayJeanP
    @DeejayJeanP 5 років тому +12

    Super awesome man, great to finally be able to see this after all the build up on Facebook! Especially with this topic, I'm sure Paul is looking down on you from heaven, with a really big smile, being proud of you "Shrek" 😊🙏

  • @donthegiese
    @donthegiese 11 місяців тому +1

    The analogy of focusing on our hand and losing awareness of everything else is powerful. It reminds us of the importance of shifting our focus to healing.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 11 місяців тому

      so grateful this connected with you

  • @natashas917
    @natashas917 4 роки тому +2

    Today, I am interviewing for my dream job following the loss of my baby earlier this year. I came onto UA-cam to search for some inspiring music to get me through & this video was suggested to me. This was far more inspiring to me than any song could make me feel. I’ve lived under a dark cloud since January & today I have the chance to hopefully re-claim my life & do something to honour my baby’s memory. Thank you ❤️

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому

      Reading your words brought tears to my eyes Natasha

  • @evanmosk
    @evanmosk Рік тому +2

    Smart young man with a great outlook.

  • @linbonn4749
    @linbonn4749 3 роки тому +2

    I love that his first mention was Move forward....NOT MOVE ON!!! 7:00....TY...❤💔❤Creation was formed out of a commitment to move forward to honor thise we love

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому

      love that @LinBonn "Creation was formed out of a commitment to move forward"

  • @andididntknow
    @andididntknow Рік тому +1

    Thank you for the re-frame Jesse, it's easy to get carried away with your emotions and not take the time to seek a different viewpoint

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      You are most welcome. Thank you so much for watching the talk.

  • @Iamcarlosdanger
    @Iamcarlosdanger 11 місяців тому

    Finding emotional leverage to move forward after loss is essential. It's about channeling our emotions into positive actions and growth.

  • @orangeblob
    @orangeblob Рік тому +2

    I think a lot of it ties in to your overall view on death and yes so much of that has to do with your conditioning from a young age. The stuff about shark attacks for him as a youth would definitely have had a weird impact on his psyche but I think if you have a healthy view on death it makes the grieving processes a lot easier.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      Thank you for your comment @OrangeBlob really appreciate your thoughts. I agree, our view we have on death will affect the grieving process. It is fascinating when you study different cultures around the world and see the ways they approach it

  • @jane-so7rw
    @jane-so7rw 5 років тому +6

    Wow! Loved your talk. So Happy for you Jesse that you finally got to do a Tedx talk. I felt super proud watching you. I will be using your method of healing! As I have anniversary coming up this month. It will be 12 years since my husband passed away. Thank you so much Jesse!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Please let me know how you experience your anniversary day after utilizing this. Sending lots of love your way

  • @sheilasurgeoner5784
    @sheilasurgeoner5784 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you.

  • @lathaiyer8065
    @lathaiyer8065 3 місяці тому

    Same here. I dont want the pain and grief to go away. If it goes away anytime in my lifetime, i would feel guilty

  • @dennisboystop9442
    @dennisboystop9442 Рік тому +1

    This talk was so powerful and provided a very fresh perspective on how to heal from the loss of a loved one. Thank you!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      So grateful it connected with you @Dennis Boystop

  • @emeliazimmerman4739
    @emeliazimmerman4739 5 років тому +1

    Way to go Jesse! This is awesome!

  • @elaineclouston
    @elaineclouston 10 місяців тому

    International sunrise sunset day is such a beautiful tribute ❤ I would love to participate in spreading the love and remembrance because we should be living in honor of our loved ones. Focus on the healing and make each day count.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 місяці тому

      Please join us this year... it will be on September 12th

  • @melissaconner9538
    @melissaconner9538 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for this, I needed it!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому

      You are most welcome. I'm so glad it reached you.

  • @amandamelby7148
    @amandamelby7148 5 років тому +6

    What a great talk! Thank you Jesse!

  • @roxg8702
    @roxg8702 3 роки тому +1

    .thanks for sharing your energy.

  • @budweiserthedog4449
    @budweiserthedog4449 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much 🙏

  • @catinamoore7131
    @catinamoore7131 2 роки тому +1

    I needed this. Thanks so much.

  • @derekgraves8758
    @derekgraves8758 9 місяців тому

    Grief is a complex process, and everyone deals with it differently. Shifting focus may work for some and while I know it's not a one-size-fits-all solution, I can see how actively engaging in positive actions to honor loved ones can bring a sense of purpose and healing.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 9 місяців тому

      Absolutely agree @derekgraves8758 it's complex and everyone deals differently. That's why it's so important we engage in conversations and share resources that are helpful so that those who are looking for a light to help guide them can more easily find it.

  • @iamnotsomagicmike
    @iamnotsomagicmike Рік тому +1

    thanks for this great talk Jesse.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      You are welcome. Appreciate you taking the time to watch. Love your profile name BTW :)

  • @marketingidealscompany9888
    @marketingidealscompany9888 3 роки тому +1

    Well done Jesse, thank you for sharing.

  • @jamietipton9356
    @jamietipton9356 5 років тому +4

  • @deeagirdici-maher2483
    @deeagirdici-maher2483 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you this is so amazing. Great help.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому +1

      Grateful it reached you Dee. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment

  • @DeejayJeanP
    @DeejayJeanP 5 років тому +9

    Someone once told me: Happiness is a CHOICE. I 100% agree.

  • @equynenergie
    @equynenergie Рік тому +1

    Thank you

  • @pablocortez6960
    @pablocortez6960 10 місяців тому

    Oh I love the idea of creating an annual event to honor loved ones through sharing sunrise or sunset photos is beautiful.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 10 місяців тому

      Please participate with us this year - it will be on September 12th

  • @dakjussord821
    @dakjussord821 Рік тому +1

    To be fair having those two experiences so close to one another would really mess you up, even if you had a really healthy perception of death beforehand

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      Absolutely - Life & death, loss & love, do not always have a considerate timeline when they come to be, which is why it's so important we engage in healthy conversations around these topics so we are better prepared/capable of coping when we experience them

  • @paulacharlesstanley
    @paulacharlesstanley Рік тому +1

    Thank you Jesse, I found so much of what you're saying here very helpful - especially the part about grief having no timeline

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      you are most welcome @PaulaCharles. So grateful this connected with you

  • @kerryboussios141
    @kerryboussios141 2 роки тому +1

    Wonderful speech. Thank you so much!!!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 2 роки тому

      You are most welcome. Thank you for allowing me to share it with you

  • @saleisalovic
    @saleisalovic 11 місяців тому

    I understand the pain of losing loved ones. It's not just about time, but also about finding healing and moving forward

  • @bethfricker4740
    @bethfricker4740 5 років тому +7

    So powerful! Amazing tools for shifting from grief to healing!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      So grateful this connected with you :)

  • @ornellarose6378
    @ornellarose6378 8 місяців тому +1

    Beautiful!!!!! Thankyou 💗

  • @scallywagcaptainjacksparrow
    @scallywagcaptainjacksparrow 4 роки тому +5

    I have watched this a few times and it always bring me to tears. Your message is so powerful, because we all deal with the death of a loved one differently. We grieve differently, we process things differently in life and that is okay. When you say what would they want for us our loved ones, that is the exact thing that would help me heal one day at a time when my first love died and my uncle. The grieving process is always very hard, it was so hard for me. Not to say I don't have my days when I think of them and wish they were here or cry, those days do happen, but I always remember the good memories or feel their presence or see the signs they send, just little things, like seeing someone skateboard and that was what my first love did, so I think he is still skating his heart up in heaven or when I see a cardinal or rainbow, I think of my uncle. Those are the things I feel my heart with. If we listen with our hearts we can feel our loved ones with us always, ever present and if we look, they always send us signs from above. Jesse you have inspired so many people, helped, uplifted, encouraged and open your heart up to share your pain and stories with others and you have touched the lives of so many around the world. I know you have mine and there have been days that when you just post on Facebook things that have came at just the right time in my life. Thank you for being you and thank you for this powerful and beautiful message. Carpe Diem
    "Those we love don't go away. They walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard, but always near. So loved, so missed, so very dear."

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and stories about your first love and Uncle.

  • @michaelkarpel2867
    @michaelkarpel2867 5 років тому +4

    Jesse, what an amazing talk. You have such a powerful and genuine way of delivering your messages. This subject is really difficult to tackle. I love the idea of "healing groups" not only in overcoming grief over loss of a loved one, but applicable in many other forms of trauma, disappointments, and other negative emotions and experiences that we all encounter throughout our lives. Thank you Jesse for being a beacon of life and honoring Gabe, Paul, your Father, and anyone else that you have lost that was dear to you. They indeed are living through you and it shines brightly every day.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому

      Michael Karpel glad this message connected with you. Thank you for taking the time to watch

  • @Angie-private
    @Angie-private 5 років тому +4

    Awesome T-talk! It was about so much more than grief. Great lessons!

  • @freddyparmentier
    @freddyparmentier Рік тому +1

    this story was so relatable and his advice was truly helpful. thank you for sharing

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine Рік тому

      So grateful this message reached you and you found it helpful @freddyparmentier

  • @sdboykin1
    @sdboykin1 3 роки тому +1

    I listened to this 3 times in a roll.... it was so good. .. Thank you Mr Brisendine. . .

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому

      So grateful it connected with you Stephanie

  • @arielklay23
    @arielklay23 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you SO much for sharing this! I had already gone through the healing process following my late husband Tim's passing, but was unable to articulate just what I did to get from grieving to healing and wholeness. Now I see that I live to honor him, looking forward to the day I hear him say, "You did so GOOD, girl!" ❤ Thank you, again!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому +1

      Absolutely beautiful @Ariel Klay thank you for sharing and keep living in honor of Tim

    • @arielklay23
      @arielklay23 3 роки тому +1

      @@JesseBrisendine thank you, I am writing a book about our relationship and completing the grieving process called, "My Forever 30 Husband: a journey through grief."

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 3 роки тому

      @@arielklay23 that's fantastic you are doing that! I look forward to reading it :)

    • @arielklay23
      @arielklay23 3 роки тому

      How can I let you know when it's published and get you a link to purchase it?

  • @therealmariorossi
    @therealmariorossi 11 місяців тому

    I never thought about the impact of grief support groups. Reframing them as healing groups can make a difference in people's lives.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 11 місяців тому

      It certainly can. Grateful this connected with you @Therealmariorossi ❤

  • @stephZandrews
    @stephZandrews 10 місяців тому

    Your talk resonates deeply with me. I've experienced loss too, and your words remind me that healing is possible.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 10 місяців тому

      so grateful this resonated with you @stephZandrews

  • @brianstewart8188
    @brianstewart8188 2 роки тому +1

    I lost my wife 3 weeks ago, and your message was so inspirational. Thank you 🙏

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 2 роки тому +1

      Brian, my heart goes out to you for your loss. Please reach out if you need any extra support. I am here for you. So grateful this talk found you and you found inspiration in it. May you live today in honor of your wife

  • @allankehler4098
    @allankehler4098 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your powerful story brother. You are a beacon of light for many, and I am grateful to call you a friend.

  • @johnwright2911
    @johnwright2911 4 роки тому +1

    Great job Jesse, now I need to apply. Cheers mate!

  • @argentinianninja
    @argentinianninja 4 місяці тому

    I love this! I lost my dad to lung cancer on Dec 19th 2023 💔

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 місяці тому

      So grateful this talk resonated with you and my heart goes out to you for the loss of your Dad. How are you holding up @argentinianninja ?

  • @ckramer1964
    @ckramer1964 5 років тому +4

    Great speech. You took a very painful time and embraced it in an uplifting, powerful and positive way which in return allowed you to heal and move forward. That is so inspiring. I know Gabe, your father and Paul all wanted that for you in their hearts and you are honoring that by keeping their spirit alive and well within you. Carpe Diem!! Thank you Jesse! 💕😁

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Thank you for watching and the kind words

  • @Ezzy0013
    @Ezzy0013 5 років тому +4

    Great talk Jesse, you are an AWSOME person, follow you for 6 years now and the first video i wachted was about grief, that helped me so much, thank you, love from the Neterlands!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Thank you for watching Esmiralda and your kind words. So glad this video reached you in the Netherlands :)

  • @heathersunshineescher6075
    @heathersunshineescher6075 5 років тому +4

    Well done Jesse! This video made me laugh and cry. I for one found it helpful and all that you share is so genuine and insightful. I have had more losses in my life than I can count and dealing with death of a loved one at any age (9 years old for me) is something you can never be prepared for but for you to share your experiences with total strangers with a true desire to help others heal is a blessing. Thank you so much for being so honest and I hope you get a chance to do more talks like this one.

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому +1

      Heather Sunshine Escher my heart goes out to you for your losses and I’m so grateful this message emotionally resonates with you :)

  • @jocelynkuhn297
    @jocelynkuhn297 4 роки тому +3

    This is such an incredible message! I Love that you're helping so many people through your work around loss and healing. I also love your perspective on this topic! Awesome job!

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому

      Thank you for watching and your kind words

  • @Yoginiams
    @Yoginiams 4 роки тому +1

    I have been listening to TED talks on Greif since the passing of my 24 yr old nephew 7 weeks ago. Everyone offers a little piece of truth that has been helpful to me. Jesse what you said about not wanting to let go of the Greif because you feel a bond is so true. It’s as if Letting go of my pain means he is really gone forever. Thank you for your inspirational talk. Best wishes

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +2

      My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your nephew Ana. It is so hard to let go of the pain because when we are nose deep in that pain it seems like a burden we will gladly bare if it means we will be able to stay connected to the loved one that we have lost. The problem is is that if pain is holding all the space, where is the room for love?
      When we allow ourselves to let go of the pain we make the space to allow the love to flow in. Its in our love that we formed the special bonds that we formed. It's in our love that we will be able to form the new special relationships with our loved ones... relationships that death cannot severe

  • @jsg497
    @jsg497 15 днів тому +1

    Wow. Just wow.

  • @07melissa09
    @07melissa09 3 роки тому

    Thank you 💔

  • @LisaSchroers
    @LisaSchroers 5 років тому +2

    Excellent presentation, Jesse. Your ability to be vulnerable is appreciated and this message important for many...Thank you for the authentic delivery....

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 5 років тому

      Thank you for the kind words Lisa and watching. :)

  • @steph5260
    @steph5260 4 роки тому +3

    Having lost a spouse at a young age with a young son I experienced a very different type of grief that which is described here
    And felt a big part of my healing was going to a very deep and painful part of my grief which was raw and present ... I felt that if I didn’t feel my grief and pain in the appropriate time line some become stuck and are unable to move forward..
    After 15 years now being widowed and raising a young son into adulthood i feel that the hard work and effort towards healing and the desperate need to be happy is what lead to the profound healing that I now have embraced!
    Now as a life and empowerment coach making choices is honestly a true and profound message to give to others
    Thanks Jesse it was a pleasure hearing your message

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks for listening and sharing your journey Steph. If you don't mind me asking, do you feel the loss you went through at such a young age coupled with the responsibility of raising your young son influenced your evolution into the life and empowerment coach you are today? I'm always curious about people's journey's and what brought them to where they are today

    • @steph5260
      @steph5260 4 роки тому +1

      Yes absolutely my son is now in college studying to be a psychologist..
      My late husband was my high school sweetheart we were married 11 years before having our son .. who is now 19 My late husband died of an opioid addiction before there was an opioid crisis .. I feel that my grief was maybe intensified and hugely challenging when I was only 34 raising a 4 year old that in some ways my grief was almost delayed because my focus was entirely on my Sons well being I found your Facebook site as well .. plan to follow and I am impressed by those who choose to empower others ! Steph

    • @JesseBrisendine
      @JesseBrisendine 4 роки тому +1

      @@steph5260 kudos to your son - that's really extraordinary. What you mentioned is such an important topic to shine light on: Grief getting almost locked away because one has to focus on other things like raising a child, running the business, etc... We bottle up and bury that hurt because in those moments we do not feel like we can take the time to fully feel what we need to feel.
      Stoked to have you be a part of the Facebook Family 💖

    • @steph5260
      @steph5260 4 роки тому +1

      Jesse Brisendine thank you appreciate that and you are spot on ... I requested to join a few of your groups intrigued 😊