when men dont take the responsibility of the bad decisions of the society, it crumbles. I'm all for men making their own choices, but just understand the consequences. The reason men are great, is because they are what hold it all together.
I was raised to have morals. I was raised to focus on one partner at a time and give them 100% of my attention and effort. Not to date multiple people at the same time. Not to flirt with people I know are already taken. And certainly not to cheat. Ever. Under any circumstances. Not even to text other women outside of work-related business. As you can imagine......this has all put me at a SEVERE disadvantage in the modern dating scene. And i can't just 'turn it off' and pretend to be someone else.
@@freespeechisneverwrong9351 But, like Kosta M. said, I might NEED to change if I ever want anything to happen for me. I learned a long time ago that you are supposed to date 10 people at the same time, so it increases your odds of winning one. And you need to flirt with women that are already taken so when her relationship ends....you will be the first person she thinks to text. This is how EVERYONE operates now. And I hate it. But its the only way.
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Men, Divorce rates 50-70% depending on geographical location. 70% or more divorces are initiated by the woman 20% of intact marriages are sexless marriages Everyone thinks they can beat the odds but the math doesn’t lie
Women with bachelors degrees file for divorce 90% of the time. A good man would have to be insane to get married in a western country in this day and age.
Dan T. Not only that 90% don’t date anyone who don’t have a bachelors..notice how they always speak highly of people who make more money??...through all my life I never heard any man talking about how successful another woman is
@@klopcodez and if the guy that they marry has an equal education level, the woman gets pissed if she gets a better break in the workforce and ends up making more cash than the man. It is incredible to see that women never really see themselves as part of a couple or as a team they just want someone that has the higher cash or status so they can compete with their girlfriends. Guys, if you ever have the desire to have a partner, get a cobra as a pet, it will be safer.
@@dant.1028 That's a pretty incredible stat. I was reading the abstract of that paper. In general the conclusion was the women find marriage "oppressive". Invest in cats, ladies. No one is choosing you any more.
agree but all is not lost if they comeback down to reality when they look in the mirror around age 35 or continue to live in delusion well into their 40's.
True, but men are wired to go after younger women, so by the time they finally meet that wall most of us average bros won't want them, this thing is complicated and may require the ghost of Stephen Hawking.
Women do find decent men, but then they “trade up” to another model they like better and divorce the decent man and leave him with nothing but alimony and child support. The laws that are in place incentivize women to do this. Human’s follow incentives.
I'm 35. I can get girls from 20-30 easily but they last days or weeks. Most of them are so overwhelmed with men on their phones that is a hard struggle. But please, don't struggle, let them go, there's more where they come from. They are biologically limited and they don't even care until is too late. I will be 50 and still have the skill to get a 30 yo woman, they probably won't be able to do the same :-) They are hypersexualized, but they have omitted their biosocial needs/desires temporary, it's an aspect that will always come back to their mind or life. They lose.
Great comment, once again addressing the unnecessary rage that some men experience (which is understandable). At the end of the day, I'd rather solve my biological imperative through skill (long term game) and competence than have it totally dependant on my looks (short term game).
that's cool and all but at 50yo you will still have 50% or your lifetime to live and you will not be that attractive anymore, plus you will know nothing about maintaining a proper relationship. Women lose faster but we lose too and spending the last half of your life alone must suck really hard.
@@nataliaprzybysz3425 No to sprawiłaś teraz że mi się lampka czerwona zaświeciła, za 4 miesiące stuknie mi 24 lata a chciałbym załapać się jeszcze trochę na tą świeżość o której mówisz ;) Ciekawe zobaczyć tu Polaka i do tego kobiete, na kanale red pillowym w sensie że. Powodzenia.
Are you sure about that? Most women I've met don't really seem to think much about that. Maybe in tv shows and movies that are romantic comedies and such, but that isn't quite how it usually happens.
@@technoloverish 100%. if you're a nerd, replace the word woman with GPU. sure I got a nice one but there are better, and in a few years mine has no value and I'll get a new better one. Men are just as replaceable and I say that despite being one. Unless you find a unicorn of a women she'll always look for better options
Another way to describe this phenomenon is "The Illusion Of Choice" (there's even a book published in 1993, a good and quick read if you're interested).
I swear man, you never cease to amaze me with the information you provide. Not only that, but your videos are paced and constructed perfectly to be able to absorb all of the information yet not be boring. Thank you thank you!
Out of those 30 people you mentioned, the 15 women are going after the 5 top guys. The other 10 guys will be ignored until the top 5 guys have their fun and choose the 5 top women as wives while leaving the remaining 10 women to pair off with the betas. Thus, she didn't choose you, it's just your turn.
not really. The only thing youhave to do is look to the older generation of humans who lived before and how their happiness etc came to existence. And you just copy and paste it to your own life. No stress,no worries, only gratification. You go hang out with your friends who are as dumb as the generation we live in, you will get dragged into the abyss. With other words..Learn to go trough life alone and as a choice instead of being a victim of the world/society/family/women etc
it's not that life is getting more complicated...it's that people are becoming more simple...more shallow, materialistic, and stupid. "Life is hard. But it's harder when you're stupid" - George Higgins
Not when you know what you are looking for. Educate yourself in how to vet people, men in particular. Learn to see the patterns and things that distinguish a high quality man. Then you will see things through a different lens where it becomes clear how few good partners there are out there, the fewer the younger you look for. High quality men and women are very rare and attract each other.
too much choice kills the choice i guess that s what dating sites do to woman , that is why dating in real life is far better and more realistic for women than it is online.
That's why the change in environment affects hypergamy so much. Although, to an extend hypergamy still plays a significant role, "widening your horizons" with a significant ordeal of choices through social media creates too much opportunity. Thus you're trying to decide between wanting a Vanilla Latte or Iced White Chocolate Mocha for your morning beverage (figuratively speaking). To that regard, I'd say just pick one. After all, the longer you wait to make a choice, the less options you will have down the road.
@@hunterthompson6737 I agree. That's why I've never used dating sites/apps. But how are you even supposed to 'real life' date with bloody coronavirus going around now tho ? :(
Girls always look at each other for approval within friends, I can't imagine how their gathering are. They must agree with each other all the time, I know for a fact when I hang out with the homies we disagree in stuff, giving our own opinion and try to get out point across
Thanks, Alex. I wish I could had this lessons 10 or 12 years ago. I would had suffered so much less. But anyway it is helping me a lot nowdays. I'm a truckdriver, 30, 5ft7, athletic and it's not been easy around here in Southern Brazil to date a good woman. At least now I'm understanding why and this is very important for peace of mind. Thanks and keep up the good work!
After a few years of delving, I've slowed down on the manosphere content I look at these days but you have some of the finest and most helpful.This is downright fantastic is extremely relevant.
I applaud you. Great content as always. Couldn't have said it better myself. These women think so highly of themselves for having a good job or something superficial like that- when that's not even what high value men look for in a woman. I was a caregiver, making $8 an hour when I met my partner, now I'm a stay at home mom. But these women have high ranking degrees and jobs now- they think those things should make them more desirable to higher status men, but it just doesn't. You actually have to be a decent woman on top those things, not that you need those things at all. They literally have nothing else going for their personalities- they just feel entitled.
It's one of the main factors of the confusion/dysfunction between the sexes. The equality dogma has pushed the myth that men and women are attracted to the same things. Many women think that high education, status and income makes them super attractive to men because that's what they look for in a man. Many low status men get fit, dress well and work on becoming kind empathetic people, then are frustrated when they are invisible to women. A girl with their attributes would be super attractive right? It's a real shame so many are frustrated and confused by something which is actually quite simple, but channels such as this are "problematic" to mainstream culture,so I'm not confident large numbers are going to get educated any time soon...
@@aprilhelm518 what are you even on about? What I said was honest. Do you think having a career is everything? Do you think it shouldn't matter that people have decent personalities, take good care of themselves, amongst other important qualities before career even becomes a factor? What exactly have I said, that you find so wrong and judgemental? If it doesn't apply to you, then just move on from it, because it certainly wasn't a personal attack.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 yes, exactly, men and women are equally important for making the world go round, but we are also very different in nature. It just is the way it is. I believe we should all have equal opportunities, and women should be allowed to pursue any career or lifestyle they choose, and same for men of course! But for every action, there is a reaction, and the fact is we can't all have it all.
@@notanotherspiritualguru1215 I don't quite agree with your assessment of what high value men look for, to be honest. For one thing, I think "high-quality" is a bit subjective, and different people tend to have different views on what makes someone "high-quality". There's no question that certain men, especially religious men, are not into women that super career-oriented, though that doesn't really seem like the norm these days. Prices of living and such have gone up in recent years, so even some men who are fairly traditionalist in their views may still prefer to have a household where both people are making money. The traditional stay-at-home model is not impossible to do, though for many couples, it's not quite so sustainable like it once was. And I myself, along with many other men I know, prefer women who are more ambitious and overall experienced. It think if you ask around, you'll probably find that a large portion of modern men like being with women who are like that. Nonetheless, I'm with you on giving people equal opportunities. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that your main point is that because of the different natures of men and women, equal outcome is difficult to achieve in many cases, even with equal opportunities.
@@notanotherspiritualguru1215 I think you're right on the money. I'm a highly educated and career-driven man. Didn't care about what degree my wife had. In fact, a high-powered degree for my future wife would have been a detriment in my eyes. My wife stayed home to raise our children - she was a mate, not a rival - we complemented each other's roles. We were lucky we could afford her being home, and I am so proud of what we gave our children. Cheers!
Agree. Moral suasion alone isn't enough to change a behavior that originates from the environment. It is a place to start, though. If everyone understood what Grace is talking about it might change the social environment.
You would be surprised how many women dont want relationships but strictly sex. Most women have a rotation of 2-3 guys for sex and a 5-8 guy rotation for attention.
I dont know why but me personally I've noticed when I was broke I used to focus A LOT chasing women, now that I'm more financially independent it's like I dont care anymore especially since I've been traveling. I'm starting to wonder do I even NEED to get married or to be with any person for that matter! I can do everything in the household that a female can provide. I dont know if its because how bad it is in the states but outside the us in my experience have been awesome! To me sharing a wonderful experience doesn't have to be with a partner I can be with a close group of friends or family you'll still receive the same emotional feeling regardless.
@@80808O i have to disagree....I thought my time was coming.....now, I am 58, in shape, 6 figures, more money than I can use......I am thinking of retiring and going to the phillipines because I have no use for American women......or I may fish, play guitar, drink a beer and get a dog. Honestly though, I always felt invisible.
Don't get so demoralized, that's their instinct sadly, but I assure you that there are good people out there who don't succumb this greatly to their instincts.
Sorry if it sounds like I am trolling you, but that "someone you dislike" for many people ends up being themselves. But anyways those were the people that would have been a sore mistake to couple with... so you are right again. Better alone than in bad company.
@@FGBFGB-vt7tc You are not trolling me, this is exactly what I would have also said, if I kept the comment going. The thing is that if you have a problem with yourself you can change, but noone can change someone else, if they don't want to change.
Thank you, AG. Fantastic video. The topic illustrated here brings up so many issues that merit intelligent discourse and stirs up a wealth of strong emotions in many. Alex’s videos are like leaflets of sanity dropped from the sky into occupied territory whilst the population is daily spoon fed propaganda manifesto pamphlets. Men and Women are different. Females, from when they are little girls are indoctrinated into wearing make-up, pretty shoes and clothes, typically growing up with lots of early positive attention. This then typically skyrockets as they develop into young Women and stumble into physical transformations and a way of life no one can reasonably be expected to be fully prepared for. We can’t then find fault with Women for equating make-up, clothes, and the heady validation of attention with simply belonging to the overall community of the female. This is what she’s known since she can remember. If she does not receive the proper guidance from those closest to her, the privileges of being female may well lead her to adopting entitlement as a way of life if there is no one there to tell her that we are all on a clock and no, it’s not fair. Outside of those closest to her, they pummel her with the notion that she can have it all but they leave out that having it all is different for everyone and ultimately, having it all means having enough for you and yours, whatever you choose. This explains both why Girls mature faster than Boys, and why some women find it a challenge to mature past the age of entitlement. Women must have the opportunity to choose their own course in life, just as Men do. While this is a road we have been traveling on for some time, we have not reached the promised land yet, there is still work to do, and we must remain vigilant that the positive progress made is not walked back, that we keep our eyes on the road ahead. Choice expects that you will hold yourself accountable for taking responsibility for the consequences of those choices. Society and legislation should not be held accountable for providing a shield or golden parachute absolving you from poor choices. This creates the comforting illusion of victimhood should outcome not be guaranteed and the notion that time is your friend. Enter Biology, which does not recognize your career, status or resources. Neither do Men, for that matter, as they can be plusses, but if they come at the expense of the intangibles of femininity (kindness, caring, nurturing, compassion), they are of no use to us. Biology only recognizes that it’s function is to duplicate so that it can continue. Biology saddles the female of our species with a relatively small window during which to maximize the spending of the coin of youth by saddling the male of the species with seeking longevity of beauty and fertility in a mate. This means it is a great risk for a young Woman to settle on a mate when she knows she may have many years to suffer the poor choice of a mate, yet it is arguably a greater risk to put off that choice and find themselves with unappetizing options that may well see her settling for a mate later in life. Settling on a mate is far different from settling for one, yet Biology pesters you, signaling that choose you must. With the proper guidance during her formative years, she can acquire the tools to make informed choices for herself should she elect to nest a Family, and accept accountability. That is all we can reasonably ask. Men have it no easier. Boys grow up indoctrinated into expecting to prove themselves lest they be left behind with the weak. They grow into young men accepting they have little intrinsic value but that which they acquire. This is not fair and it often means that their development into Men will take years, at the end of which they will have ideally accrued a certain degree of value (defined as maturity, resilience, leadership and respect - generally these come before resources and status). It is then a great risk for him to settle on a mate before demonstrating his accrued value as the timetable for doing this is not fixed and she may reason she retains enough of that coin of youth to try elsewhere. Yet, the risk is at least as great to wait until you have accrued a certain degree of value, though your choices will surely have increased, there is a greater risk they have made you a target of the unscrupulous - someone looking for safety and security yet offering little more than entitlement in return. Yet, if you wish to invite such high things as a mate and a Family into your life, you must choose. With the proper guidance during his formative years, he can acquire the tools to make informed choices for himself and accept accountability. That is all we can reasonably ask. Life is choice and choice is risk. This age’s yoke has seen us trap ourselves in an echo chamber of the noise of choice and if you can’t tune into the station you choose, you can drown in noisy static and entirely lose the ability to hear anything - unable to choose at all much less choose what is best for you specifically. My best to you and yours. Looking forward to your next.
TOTALLY agree with everything it's just that we must stop justify women that they follow their insticts. Man have strong insticts too. Imagine if a man let go his instincts. He might even get arrested for " toxic behaviour " aka toxic masculinity. Women are fully taking advantage of the moral decline nowadays.
@@lilac6222 Be a winner no matter what, desire for accessing unlimited quantity of sexual partners versus quality for women, protection of their tribe with any cost.
I wouldn't say that out-of-control hypergamy is specifically a Western culture thing. Even in wealthy and developed Asian societies like Singapore and South Korea, for instance, young women are known to be brutally picky when choosing a mate. I have many female friends from South Korea and Singapore who are perpetually single who tell me they can't meet anything they like, but they are drowning in male attention. I also know a lot of nerdy 30-ish Asian guys who aren't bad looking at all who REALLY struggle getting a girlfriend. And these guys wouldn't have had a problem in the 1950s, but now, with the advent of dating apps and beta orbiters on instagram, women have a wider net to cast and thus even in Asia, women have gotten super damn picky. But you know, hypergamy can be a woman's worst enemy. I know a gal who's a 27 year-old Malaysian Chinese girl who is dating a guy who's the same age from a wealthy Chinese business family. But this guy is wishy washy about marriage, he responds to her texts with one word messages, he sometimes forgets to show up on dates, and only goes over to her house for a free meal (and her parents are super nice to him and his mother cooks up a storm because he is rich and they want him to put a ring on her finger). But any outsider can see that he's just stringing her along and biding his time until something better comes along - she is maybe a 6-7 out of 10, doesn't wear makeup very often, and they met in school, before he matured into adulthood and was able to attract more women. He practically ghosts her and is totally uninterested in the relationship, yet she clings on really tightly to him and refuses to do or say anything that might displease him. Anyone who isn't a dolt can see that his coldness and indifference are signs that he regrets settling down too early and is hoping she will walk away on her own without him doing the dirty job of initiating the breakup. But see, try and see it from her point of view. She has caught the highest value guy, and she is trying desperately to stick to him like a drowning man clinging onto a raft. Even though there are guys who would treat her really well if she breaks up with this high value guy, you must realize she has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle that comes with him and her parents also regard this guy as the best possible suitor because of his financial status, hence they are pressuring her to make this relationship work. She is putting in ALOT more effort because she has a lot more to lose than he does. And though the logical thing to do would be to cut her losses and find another guy who appreciates her before she hits the wall, her hypergamy is forbidding her from doing so since the other guy, no matter how nice, wouldn't be able to compare to this rich man's son who moves in high society. Does this make sense? Let me give you a metaphor: If you have been eating rich food and drinking champagne, then how is simple wholesome food going to taste?
@@alexanderl9721 For real? That makes me feel so much better man. Growing up, I was raised to think, "if there is a problem and you want something, go hard and fix it. You are capable." I've lived my life thinking this way, to the point where it's tough to envision seeing myself with someone. It's that mindset and the mindset of meeting expectations mentioned in this blog that makes it a bit challenging for me to speak/progress with women.
@@alexanderl9721 I'm trying to make moves, but the more I try, the more I think, "is it worth it?" I watch blogs like these and it motivates me to focus on work on myself and eventually, my situation with women will change.
Yet again, everything around the 7 minute mark just describes me, yet again, i feel as though I am a hypergamous man, however, although this was supposed to be an eye opener for women, i feel I too needed to hear this, I am quite guilty of saying to myself "Hey, dont settle down, she is not the best you can have, you have an entire planet full of women, surely there are better choices SOMEWHERE out there", I think there might be a flaw with this thinking, much to my dismay, and it also robs me of time, which is probably really important to establish a strong relationship.
Same. It's not bad but I am 53 and with 2 children and so my time has passed. so maybe consider the country. Those country girls have their head screwed on right and appreciate what they get.
@@noislamonazisdotcom9888 Public Service Announcement: AWALT Disclaimer: I've lived/worked/studied in US, UK, Russia, Ukraine, Finland, Czech Republic, and 'known' women from 20+ countries.
You have one of the clearest thoughts about human psychology on the internet. Ty for sharing it now I know I'm not crazy person. The world is crazy around me :D
This is one of the smartest and clearest explanations of the dangers of misunderstanding the dynamics and limitations of real society versus those of perceptively boundless digital societies. Brilliant, just brilliant!
The problem with hypergamy is that if 80% of women only want the top 20% of men, 60% of women get nothing, why is that so hard for them to understand....
This was so incredibly and beautifully delivered with such articulate, thoughtful detail. This was an entirely solid 12:35 minute video that barely missed a single note in its symphony. Bravo.
Really good point, at first I thought I knew what this was gonna be about, but you entered a very specific aspect ( respectively the fact that connectivity makes the human instinct react at a greater scale ). This makes a lot of sense regarding the "I want to travel" rebelious sort of phase that so many teenage women seem to have nowadays, it definitely was not a thing in the past and although traveling is by itself cool, the hypergamous behaviour is probably a big factor.
If a guy struggles with acquiring prospects, absolutely. Others enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with taking a respite from the dating world, likely because they know they can lace up and get back out there at their own discretion.
Once a woman has her babies she will usually reject the man. To me, this makes perfect biological sense. How rare is it that a couple still (truly) love each other after getting married and having kids? No matter which decade we talk about the answer is definitely < 1%.
Mate, I am a little disappointed that it took 10 mins to mention feminism as a partial cause! I would have put that as THE reason right at the start which spawned all this other behaviour :)
Stephen Spry such is the subtle nature of his channel. I hear ya though. I think it’s one of the more important parts of the message he’s getting across, actually. That type of delivery sort of sneak-attacks the viewers who might’ve scoffed at it’s first mention. Saving it for the backend forces the viewer to be in a place where they’ve already started considering the evidence.
And only 3rd Wave Feminism at that considering many are viewing Intersectionality as 4th wave and there's rumors about a 5th wave of Feminism. I've been saying to people that the whole of Feminism is wrong. The Suffragists pushing Universal Suffrage came before the Suffragettes. Feminism encouraged women to abandon their areas of dominance to compete with men in their areas of dominance, nevermind that women always had social power to begin with. Prohibition is evidence of that and the undermining of due process in the West way before #MeToo is another piece of evidence. I liken Feminism to the rejection of the curse in Genesis "woman, your desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you." A Lilithian mode for women who demand to be equal to men, but can do no more than cause problems for others as they wallow in their own misery. Always done without any real examination of what's going on and ready to lash out at any attempt at criticism or correction. A woman will pursue a man for the purpose of having children. She will also attempt to undermine that man whenever possible to see whether he's still a good fit for her. And she will leave that man if she thinks she finds a better man. That man can in turn find a better woman because if she left her previous mate, there's nothing saying she won't leave you. So you leave her for a woman that hasn't displayed the same disloyalty as the woman you're leaving and the now ex is left with her children to take care of which also serve as a hindrance towards advancement either through work or finding another mate. And it's her fault because she already had what she needed and abandoned that for whims that don't support her chosen responsibilities. This fits one example of the curse in Genesis. There's more to explore there. 2nd wave is anti-family. It builds on the notion of French Philosopher and Proponent of Feminism, Charles Fourier who said, "marriage is a prison for women." When you undermine the family, you undermine the safest and smallest unit for all involved (man, woman, and children) which also happens to be the smallest unit needed to build a thriving society. The example I mentioned above can be observed in Simone de Beauvoir who was an influence on Betty Friedan who wrote The Feminine Mystique released in 1963. Simone de Beauvoir paired up with Jean Paul Sartre. She was happy to not be tied down, but she eventually sought that towards the end of her life. Before that she would engage in sex with young women and girls and shared them with Sartre. When she ultimately wanted a monogamous relationship with Sartre, he was enjoying having more than one woman at his disposal. He wasn't going to settle down. de Beauvoir married someone else, but she was frustrated in not getting what she wanted with Sartre. "Woman, your desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you." She chose a "husband" and her expectations for her life would have manifested through her marriage to Sartre, but he didn't return her desire for commitment. She earned what she received.
@@Xeranx So just to be entirely clear, are you saying that all women should be forced by the government to get married like they once were? I mean, even from an evolutionary perspective, marriage is technically unnatural. No other animals have marriage contract or marriage ceremonies.
@Stephen Spry, if you mention feminism then you didn't understand anything from this video. This video is about female nature, and female nature was created by evolution. Females are this way weather if there is any feminism at the cultural level or not.
Hello, Mr Grace. I learn a lot from your videos. I really appreciate them. I would like to see you interview women in their 40s and 50s. Thank you and congratulations on your work.
The fear of missing out still happens today. If a girl sees her friends in relationships or getting married she may get with a guy she isn't that into. And like how in arranged marriages grow a fondness over time. It could even be the guy who's always been there for her. Funny how she probably values him less precisely because he values her so greatly.
However a lot of girls nowdays might not see her friends in successfull longterm relationships and because her friends hasn't succed in that area she might think there is plenty of time for her to find the right one.
Most guys display the boyfriend qualities( provider mode). Have you ever wondered what if you was just straightforward? The reason why. my first gf was because I stepped into tension n also I told myself I either get the girl or not but at least I took my shot. I didn’t tell her she was pretty, all I did because or circumstances, was hang around her n tease her( playfully pushing her n making fun of her.) looking back I could of just hooked up with her if I wanted but because the notion of wanting a gf I went provider n asked her right after we first kissed to be my gf( gave all my power away.) If you like a girl, don’t wait too long to hookup, she’ll respect you more if you own her in bed( it’s really easy n I ain’t got no long Dong lol, spank her, u gayy if you don’t want her submissive 😅😂
I fully agree with the thoughts shared in this video. The problem is that when women do ignore their instincts and try to not be hypergamous they're often unhappy in the marriage and it ends in divorce. Knowing that something isn't good and trying to fight it doesn't mean the alternative will be preferable. In general when it ends in divorce it's not so bad for women as they can usually find someone else quickly (if they haven't already found someone before the marriage ends), but for men it can be crushing and turn them against women ensuring they end up alone the rest of their life. If a woman meets someone she is thinking about settling for she needs to make 100% sure she'll be happy with them. If she's not sure then she's risking ruining his life. Men need to be mindful of this too and not let their emotions cloud their ability to objectively determine if she's the type of person that can be happy with them.
i think you have forgot 1 key element. Older women that have missed the boat become bitter and they spend their time convincing younger women that they should "explore the world" and not settle down too young knowing full well that they wish they hadnt done the same exact thing
I read a book about husbands (Voice Male), and something an older man interviewed said stuck with me. He said that people are concerned about finding the perfect one rather than being the perfect one, and that chips away at contentment. I can focus on only one thing at a time, so dating many at once has no appeal to me.
To a 19 year old Russian girl in the Chelyabinsk Oblast, with a Smartphone, a 35 year old bloke cleaning cars in Bankstown is a genuine hypergamic dating option.
A friend of mine was on tender she met 3 guys…. 1) a police office who was a mama’s boy ..he slept everyday all day when he was off… was severely overweight and always ate out… clingy and stalkerish 2) a pilot that turned out to be a major narcissist 3) a business owner who turned of to be a pill head. His head almost fell into his plate at dinner one night he was so messed up… oh! And a 4th… he told her he just “got access to his daughter” because he was on Meth addict and just got out of rehab…. So the awesome choices are endless… 👎👎👎👎👎👎
Hard to respect women when this is the furthest extent they can think and analyse things. I won't even say it because it's so obvious and I don't want to undermine you by mansplaining, I'll just say you're on the wrong side of UA-cam, go back to the homepage
The idea of hypergamy often gets trashed as "gold digger" but - I think I figured out why it's so important. What is one of the most devastating things that a guy can do to a girl? Get her pregnant and then bail. So, it's in a woman's best interest to try and evaluate "how responsible are you? Are you going to be a jerk or not?" well, HOW can someone gauge responsibility? Well, if they have accomplished a lot of things that take a lot of work, then perhaps they may not be a jerk and bail. So - it's not related to "gold digger" it's related to "I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone who is an irresponsible jerk"
Three things I really liked: 1. excellent anthropological parallelism 2. life really is richer when you share it. We will not get more of this with the current attitudes. 3. encourage women to find a good decent man with whom she can build a decent life and family Bravo Alex My only problem: I understand what women seek in a man, but I think they're nuts for seeking that, so I eschew them, because I've been a doormat, and I'm not lonely enough to plow and sow and reap to glut the avarice of someone who would riot in my blood and hunt me from the face of the earth.
from which epic does this one come from "I'm not lonely enough to plow and sow and reap to glut the avarice of someone who would riot in my blood and hunt me from the face of the earth." ?? cuz it's really well written!
This is truly disheartening. So-called high quality women are very few and far between. Better just to continue to improve yourself and let them come to you. If they ever do.
Your Bunny Wrote dont talk to me about your opinions..if there not backed by a fact don’t even bother with that logical your displaying..it’s never a competition for women. Your pricing yet again gold diggers..the reality or that 10%-0.1% dont usually settle down with any low quality women..and no each don’t get what they want...most end up misserable hoping and waiting..but while she’s waiting what has she done with her life??..is she high quality or low quality..is she a top 10% as well??..how old all this stuff has to add up
Another great video. Thanks for these as a fifty year old man I feel a lot of what you say from instinct and experience but could not articulate it like you. I am going to recommend your videos to my son who is beginning his first relationships with the opposite sex.
I'd slightly disagree, in that prior to local villages and communities; females at a primate level would happily share a dominant male. It was only later on in those more civilised times and because of religion, women had to find a single male to provide for them,. The other part of the decline of religion, feminism, the availability of contraception and no common shared village belief also allows women to be far more promiscuous today. The other problem with feminism, is that women are now competing with men in the workplace, and no woman can instinctually marry below herself, so she's inevitably going to end up breaking up with a man when she becomes of higher staus.
This is a truth, but been thinking about this social/evolutionalpsychology phenoneom more from the Internet point of view. As cell phones and Internet started to be more popular and popular, it changed a lot of things for the worse. The social circles are now much wider and larger, people have easier access to information and it's much easier to connect with people. In the dating area back in the say, 2000's, the partners were usually found in the friends' group or at the same school, workplace, hobbies, maybe bars, there wasn't so much hypergamy and absolutely unrealistic expectations of most men. The average Joe could find a partner pretty easy, now it's much harder. Today seems like even an average looking young women only accept no less than a Brad Pitt, because they have too many options to choose from their pocket dating apps lol. This has changed the values how people see others to much shallow and superficial and I really hate it.
i think the thing that men find most confusing about women is that when they explain how they think about dating they use terms that women understand and women seem to think that men think the same way and dont realize that this means something completely different to men. just like a lot of women are under the delusion that having a good career and being successful or making a lot of money make them more attractive to men.
If you’re married, and things aren’t going well, single life looks very good. And that continues as you get older. So divorce becomes the easy option that many will take. But it’s very risky, as you may end up alone and not with a new partner as you had hoped. This is especially hard if you’re older and end up carrying a bag full of memories. When you’re married, even if you aren’t romantically in love anymore, just having that other person there who wonders where you are, who calls on you when you’re out and there’s trouble at home, means a lot.
Nope, divorced once by a two time loser who's on her third husband now (my 19 year old boy and I call him 003). She decided she had to have a divorce, no counselling, when our boys were 5 and 6 and 1/2. I told her that it'd deny the kids a normal childhood, they wouldn't know how to raise their own kids in the future,etc. and it's all come true. As psychologist's say we become our parents (a compliment to me) but her mom was bipolar.. Nope, I'd treat a woman as great as she'd treat me if I got remarried but I just have no interest. What's to be gained vs. lost?
The best part is that high quality, high value men are focused on improving themselves. They don't have the time nor the energy to chase women. At the same time women expect high quality men to chase them. It's two completely opposite expectations.
You are so right. "Life is best shared with a kind, respectful, high-quality, masculine man." Many women understand this, but unfortunately the prima donnas and the entitled career women will have to learn the hard way--by ending up alone. Not a pleasant condition, but like you said, due to the present social environment, this was inevitable.
I thought I already made this point here but I guess I missed it. When a man meets a woman he'll ask one of many questions, usually about her life or family or interests or hobbies or likes or dislikes or he may even come up with some little clever line make her feel special. When a woman meets a man she always leads with the same question: "What do you do for a living?"
I do appreciate the honesty of both women in that interview. however, that doesn't make it any easier for us good guys who are not wealthy, yet we manage what we have properly and we just don't need a women ruining us financially. It's true, not all women exhibit hypergamy. There are some "good girls" out there. They are just not advertising themselves, and that makes it hard for us good guys to find them. Us men need to be men, and do not allow ourselves to be whittled down just to keep her. Treat them good like a gentleman should, yet if they're not going to reciprocate, end it with them peacefully and move on.
Holy shitballs. Been watching this channel for nearly a year. Didn't know till now you're a West Aussie. I'm just down the road Mandurah wayz. I've put a few mates on this channel 😂🤙
In the middle ages there where a lot of bachelors and they lived in castles. The castle had a drawbridge and a moat, and they wear a suite of armour. It was good for keeping women away and war.in the castle men invent things drank beer with there friends. Then one day one of his mates branch his girlfriend. She told all her friends they said it wasn't fair and stormed the castle the rest is history.
Trust me, as long as the man is rich, multiple women are happy to share the same man. Infidelity only becomes a complaint when the man accused does not have enough money to keep multiple women.
To say it shortly.... I blame both what Alexander video topic and "High speed Internet Porn". This has destroyed the views on how men AND women interact and look at what sex is supposed to be.
I’m convinced Alexander combs his hair with a balloon.
You made me throw up water through my nose.
free content -no combing
paid content-Lets comb they are paying for it.
Wait...youre talking like there is another way to do that
Ey, the disheveled look works for some people lol
Lmaooooo
Let women make bad decisions and don't be the knight in shining armour to pick up the pieces.
when men dont take the responsibility of the bad decisions of the society, it crumbles. I'm all for men making their own choices, but just understand the consequences. The reason men are great, is because they are what hold it all together.
@@xDDufiosy that's the point - we want it to crumble. Western civilization needs to be rebuild from base up and that's that.
So true.
Yes because they don’t understand.
@Mat Zim take it you watched vendetta
I was raised to have morals. I was raised to focus on one partner at a time and give them 100% of my attention and effort. Not to date multiple people at the same time. Not to flirt with people I know are already taken. And certainly not to cheat. Ever. Under any circumstances. Not even to text other women outside of work-related business. As you can imagine......this has all put me at a SEVERE disadvantage in the modern dating scene. And i can't just 'turn it off' and pretend to be someone else.
That is why you need to change yourself in order to better function in the modern world
I had the same problem
And i still have it to some extent
It may put you at a disadvantage but it is a characteristic that sets you apart from everyone else. It is a strength women won’t see often.
Well done. Do not change.
Don't change man. More people should be like you. I get that this may feel like a disadvantage but it sounds like you're doing the right thing.
@@freespeechisneverwrong9351 But, like Kosta M. said, I might NEED to change if I ever want anything to happen for me. I learned a long time ago that you are supposed to date 10 people at the same time, so it increases your odds of winning one. And you need to flirt with women that are already taken so when her relationship ends....you will be the first person she thinks to text. This is how EVERYONE operates now. And I hate it. But its the only way.
Men,
Divorce rates 50-70% depending on geographical location.
70% or more divorces are initiated by the woman
20% of intact marriages are sexless marriages
Everyone thinks they can beat the odds but the math doesn’t lie
Women with bachelors degrees file for divorce 90% of the time. A good man would have to be insane to get married in a western country in this day and age.
Dan T. Not only that 90% don’t date anyone who don’t have a bachelors..notice how they always speak highly of people who make more money??...through all my life I never heard any man talking about how successful another woman is
@@klopcodez and if the guy that they marry has an equal education level, the woman gets pissed if she gets a better break in the workforce and ends up making more cash than the man. It is incredible to see that women never really see themselves as part of a couple or as a team they just want someone that has the higher cash or status so they can compete with their girlfriends. Guys, if you ever have the desire to have a partner, get a cobra as a pet, it will be safer.
@@dant.1028 That's a pretty incredible stat. I was reading the abstract of that paper. In general the conclusion was the women find marriage "oppressive". Invest in cats, ladies. No one is choosing you any more.
also 50-100% of youtube comment section statistics are plain bullshit
Hypergamy does have an equalizer. It's called the wall, and it's undefeated.
yes, and it hurts when it falls on you.
agree but all is not lost if they comeback down to reality when they look in the mirror around age 35 or continue to live in delusion well into their 40's.
In the end, men ALWAYS have the last laugh.
True, but men are wired to go after younger women, so by the time they finally meet that wall most of us average bros won't want them, this thing is complicated and may require the ghost of Stephen Hawking.
Word is getting around, “the juice ain’t worth the squeeze,” besides, they don’t wash the rind.
this ua-cam.com/video/9jBgo7UipqY/v-deo.html
The girl next door movie reference is awesome man!
🤣
Women do find decent men, but then they “trade up” to another model they like better and divorce the decent man and leave him with nothing but alimony and child support. The laws that are in place incentivize women to do this. Human’s follow incentives.
They don't do this for alpha men who are tough and calm and make a lot of money
I'm 35. I can get girls from 20-30 easily but they last days or weeks. Most of them are so overwhelmed with men on their phones that is a hard struggle. But please, don't struggle, let them go, there's more where they come from. They are biologically limited and they don't even care until is too late. I will be 50 and still have the skill to get a 30 yo woman, they probably won't be able to do the same :-) They are hypersexualized, but they have omitted their biosocial needs/desires temporary, it's an aspect that will always come back to their mind or life. They lose.
Great comment, once again addressing the unnecessary rage that some men experience (which is understandable).
At the end of the day, I'd rather solve my biological imperative through skill (long term game) and competence than have it totally dependant on my looks (short term game).
@@nataliaprzybysz3425 could you explain what you mean not being rude?
So you just plan on keeping girls in rotation for the rest of your life? Worked well for Roosh.
that's cool and all but at 50yo you will still have 50% or your lifetime to live and you will not be that attractive anymore, plus you will know nothing about maintaining a proper relationship. Women lose faster but we lose too and spending the last half of your life alone must suck really hard.
@@nataliaprzybysz3425 No to sprawiłaś teraz że mi się lampka czerwona zaświeciła, za 4 miesiące stuknie mi 24 lata a chciałbym załapać się jeszcze trochę na tą świeżość o której mówisz ;) Ciekawe zobaczyć tu Polaka i do tego kobiete, na kanale red pillowym w sensie że. Powodzenia.
Most women feel entitled to the “best”, regardless of their value. Totally unrealistic.
Are you sure about that? Most women I've met don't really seem to think much about that. Maybe in tv shows and movies that are romantic comedies and such, but that isn't quite how it usually happens.
@@technoloverish 100%. if you're a nerd, replace the word woman with GPU. sure I got a nice one but there are better, and in a few years mine has no value and I'll get a new better one. Men are just as replaceable and I say that despite being one. Unless you find a unicorn of a women she'll always look for better options
These women have incredably long lists of what a man must be before they will swipe.
As this video points out, it was realistic... at a village level.
This should be showed in schools
90/10 rule. Women don't "date down", and for sure are not going to marry down. Women get less picky the closer to the wall they get (typically).
@Callisto lol
I've noticed a trend of older women become more picky. They want one man with the qualities of all the men they been with before rolled into one
That's actually not true. Some women are actually more picky, even after hitting that wall.
@@ShadowbannedAccount : Those are the ones sooo far suck in the delusion.
I swear to God alex, these videos are actually amazing. Priceless knowledge man, keep up the great work!
Ya this was a good one.
@@hephystion3044 ikr I go to read the other comments and I'm hardly alone in thinking that
Another way to describe this phenomenon is "The Illusion Of Choice" (there's even a book published in 1993, a good and quick read if you're interested).
@Average Mo Oh god, That's what it's actually called, I mixed the titles up lmao. Well this is embarrasing xD
I swear man, you never cease to amaze me with the information you provide. Not only that, but your videos are paced and constructed perfectly to be able to absorb all of the information yet not be boring. Thank you thank you!
Straight facts! I agree 100%
Out of those 30 people you mentioned, the 15 women are going after the 5 top guys. The other 10 guys will be ignored until the top 5 guys have their fun and choose the 5 top women as wives while leaving the remaining 10 women to pair off with the betas. Thus, she didn't choose you, it's just your turn.
Couldn't agree more.
But finally everyone will have a pair of its own level...
@@tcfs negative....the beta gets sloppy seconds, and they are waking up to that crap deal
The world is getting more and more complicated, the people, their lives too.
not really.
The only thing youhave to do is look to the older generation of humans who lived before and how their happiness etc came to existence. And you just copy and paste it to your own life.
No stress,no worries, only gratification.
You go hang out with your friends who are as dumb as the generation we live in, you will get dragged into the abyss.
With other words..Learn to go trough life alone and as a choice instead of being a victim of the world/society/family/women etc
it's not that life is getting more complicated...it's that people are becoming more simple...more shallow, materialistic, and stupid.
"Life is hard. But it's harder when you're stupid" - George Higgins
Nope. Not really. We're getting more narcissistic. We want more for less. That's all there is to it.
Ironically enough, having so many options makes it harder to choose a partner.
Not when you know what you are looking for. Educate yourself in how to vet people, men in particular. Learn to see the patterns and things that distinguish a high quality man. Then you will see things through a different lens where it becomes clear how few good partners there are out there, the fewer the younger you look for. High quality men and women are very rare and attract each other.
Learn how to pick a quality person for you. Women are too picky in the wrong ways and men aren't picky enough
too much choice kills the choice i guess that s what dating sites do to woman , that is why dating in real life is far better and more realistic for women than it is online.
That's why the change in environment affects hypergamy so much. Although, to an extend hypergamy still plays a significant role, "widening your horizons" with a significant ordeal of choices through social media creates too much opportunity. Thus you're trying to decide between wanting a Vanilla Latte or Iced White Chocolate Mocha for your morning beverage (figuratively speaking). To that regard, I'd say just pick one. After all, the longer you wait to make a choice, the less options you will have down the road.
@@hunterthompson6737 I agree. That's why I've never used dating sites/apps. But how are you even supposed to 'real life' date with bloody coronavirus going around now tho ? :(
Girls always look at each other for approval within friends, I can't imagine how their gathering are. They must agree with each other all the time, I know for a fact when I hang out with the homies we disagree in stuff, giving our own opinion and try to get out point across
women can't talk.
Every single young man should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomossi. It explains this entire subject in massive depth as well.
I would add ALL men should read Rollo’s book, regardless of their individual situation.
Thanks, Alex. I wish I could had this lessons 10 or 12 years ago. I would had suffered so much less. But anyway it is helping me a lot nowdays. I'm a truckdriver, 30, 5ft7, athletic and it's not been easy around here in Southern Brazil to date a good woman. At least now I'm understanding why and this is very important for peace of mind. Thanks and keep up the good work!
Onde no sul do Brasil? Se tá difícil aí, imagina no Sudeste...
@@mariobros7834 Southeast here, things are indeed ugly.
After a few years of delving, I've slowed down on the manosphere content I look at these days but you have some of the finest and most helpful.This is downright fantastic is extremely relevant.
I applaud you. Great content as always. Couldn't have said it better myself. These women think so highly of themselves for having a good job or something superficial like that- when that's not even what high value men look for in a woman.
I was a caregiver, making $8 an hour when I met my partner, now I'm a stay at home mom.
But these women have high ranking degrees and jobs now- they think those things should make them more desirable to higher status men, but it just doesn't. You actually have to be a decent woman on top those things, not that you need those things at all. They literally have nothing else going for their personalities- they just feel entitled.
It's one of the main factors of the confusion/dysfunction between the sexes. The equality dogma has pushed the myth that men and women are attracted to the same things. Many women think that high education, status and income makes them super attractive to men because that's what they look for in a man. Many low status men get fit, dress well and work on becoming kind empathetic people, then are frustrated when they are invisible to women. A girl with their attributes would be super attractive right?
It's a real shame so many are frustrated and confused by something which is actually quite simple, but channels such as this are "problematic" to mainstream culture,so I'm not confident large numbers are going to get educated any time soon...
@@aprilhelm518 what are you even on about? What I said was honest. Do you think having a career is everything? Do you think it shouldn't matter that people have decent personalities, take good care of themselves, amongst other important qualities before career even becomes a factor?
What exactly have I said, that you find so wrong and judgemental?
If it doesn't apply to you, then just move on from it, because it certainly wasn't a personal attack.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 yes, exactly, men and women are equally important for making the world go round, but we are also very different in nature. It just is the way it is. I believe we should all have equal opportunities, and women should be allowed to pursue any career or lifestyle they choose, and same for men of course! But for every action, there is a reaction, and the fact is we can't all have it all.
@@notanotherspiritualguru1215
I don't quite agree with your assessment of what high value men look for, to be honest. For one thing, I think "high-quality" is a bit subjective, and different people tend to have different views on what makes someone "high-quality". There's no question that certain men, especially religious men, are not into women that super career-oriented, though that doesn't really seem like the norm these days. Prices of living and such have gone up in recent years, so even some men who are fairly traditionalist in their views may still prefer to have a household where both people are making money. The traditional stay-at-home model is not impossible to do, though for many couples, it's not quite so sustainable like it once was. And I myself, along with many other men I know, prefer women who are more ambitious and overall experienced. It think if you ask around, you'll probably find that a large portion of modern men like being with women who are like that. Nonetheless, I'm with you on giving people equal opportunities. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that your main point is that because of the different natures of men and women, equal outcome is difficult to achieve in many cases, even with equal opportunities.
@@notanotherspiritualguru1215 I think you're right on the money. I'm a highly educated and career-driven man. Didn't care about what degree my wife had. In fact, a high-powered degree for my future wife would have been a detriment in my eyes. My wife stayed home to raise our children - she was a mate, not a rival - we complemented each other's roles. We were lucky we could afford her being home, and I am so proud of what we gave our children. Cheers!
I like the message, but I don't think it's going to reach many women.
Yeah tiktok is where they are at. However this can reached many guys and guys can teach women by how they act
Agree. Moral suasion alone isn't enough to change a behavior that originates from the environment. It is a place to start, though. If everyone understood what Grace is talking about it might change the social environment.
Girls might have a lot of options on tinder for relationships, but the problem is, those aren't long term options.
You would be surprised how many women dont want relationships but strictly sex. Most women have a rotation of 2-3 guys for sex and a 5-8 guy rotation for attention.
@@Fakestockguru That's true but that's what they want when they are in their 20s. After that Tinder is not so satisfying anymore.
Those are fuckboys or weak beta's that their not attracted to. The men they want are'nt on those sites.
the groupthink is real with this one.
"I think so." *glances at friend for approval*
"yeah..."
I dont know why but me personally I've noticed when I was broke I used to focus A LOT chasing women, now that I'm more financially independent it's like I dont care anymore especially since I've been traveling.
I'm starting to wonder do I even NEED to get married or to be with any person for that matter! I can do everything in the household that a female can provide.
I dont know if its because how bad it is in the states but outside the us in my experience have been awesome!
To me sharing a wonderful experience doesn't have to be with a partner I can be with a close group of friends or family you'll still receive the same emotional feeling regardless.
matches my experience, i am 29, ex army with two degrees, alright income and i am still invisible somehow
How's that. German guys get all the blond blue eyed chicks.
Your time is coming, young man
@@80808O i have to disagree....I thought my time was coming.....now, I am 58, in shape, 6 figures, more money than I can use......I am thinking of retiring and going to the phillipines because I have no use for American women......or I may fish, play guitar, drink a beer and get a dog.
Honestly though, I always felt invisible.
Every be video you release on UA-cam is bringing me ever closer to subscribing to your patreon
Do it! You'll me happy :D
@@alexandergrace5350 good things come to those who wait 😂😂😂
Same here! :-)
@@razarraz8276 DO IT!! I subscribed to his patreon and there are so many more videos with so much life changing information, you will not regret it!!!
Interviewer: "Do you believe w*men have an instinct for hypergamy?"
W*men: "Some."
translation: "I'm not like all the other girls. I'm different."
Don't get so demoralized, that's their instinct sadly, but I assure you that there are good people out there who don't succumb this greatly to their instincts.
"Do you believe women have this instinct?"
"Some, yeah."
Failure to understand the definition of 'instinct.'
Agree in everything but the last statement. being alone does NOT make you miserable. Being with someone you dislike makes you miserable.
Sorry if it sounds like I am trolling you, but that "someone you dislike" for many people ends up being themselves. But anyways those were the people that would have been a sore mistake to couple with... so you are right again.
Better alone than in bad company.
@@FGBFGB-vt7tc but better in good company than alone
@@FGBFGB-vt7tc You are not trolling me, this is exactly what I would have also said, if I kept the comment going. The thing is that if you have a problem with yourself you can change, but noone can change someone else, if they don't want to change.
@@blackkyurem720 Of course!!! ;) . If the company is good even the harshest winter can have some measure of laugh.
Being utterly alone can make you miserable. Being with someone whose using you puts you in hell.
Amazing upload. Keep at it Alex. No matter what, you are helping people to help others. Lots of love from Greece
Is the men that are realizing that marriage is not suitable for them. There are more bitter women and more happy single men.
Thank you, AG. Fantastic video. The topic illustrated here brings up so many issues that merit intelligent discourse and stirs up a wealth of strong emotions in many. Alex’s videos are like leaflets of sanity dropped from the sky into occupied territory whilst the population is daily spoon fed propaganda manifesto pamphlets.
Men and Women are different. Females, from when they are little girls are indoctrinated into wearing make-up, pretty shoes and clothes, typically growing up with lots of early positive attention. This then typically skyrockets as they develop into young Women and stumble into physical transformations and a way of life no one can reasonably be expected to be fully prepared for. We can’t then find fault with Women for equating make-up, clothes, and the heady validation of attention with simply belonging to the overall community of the female. This is what she’s known since she can remember. If she does not receive the proper guidance from those closest to her, the privileges of being female may well lead her to adopting entitlement as a way of life if there is no one there to tell her that we are all on a clock and no, it’s not fair. Outside of those closest to her, they pummel her with the notion that she can have it all but they leave out that having it all is different for everyone and ultimately, having it all means having enough for you and yours, whatever you choose. This explains both why Girls mature faster than Boys, and why some women find it a challenge to mature past the age of entitlement.
Women must have the opportunity to choose their own course in life, just as Men do. While this is a road we have been traveling on for some time, we have not reached the promised land yet, there is still work to do, and we must remain vigilant that the positive progress made is not walked back, that we keep our eyes on the road ahead. Choice expects that you will hold yourself accountable for taking responsibility for the consequences of those choices. Society and legislation should not be held accountable for providing a shield or golden parachute absolving you from poor choices. This creates the comforting illusion of victimhood should outcome not be guaranteed and the notion that time is your friend.
Enter Biology, which does not recognize your career, status or resources. Neither do Men, for that matter, as they can be plusses, but if they come at the expense of the intangibles of femininity (kindness, caring, nurturing, compassion), they are of no use to us. Biology only recognizes that it’s function is to duplicate so that it can continue. Biology saddles the female of our species with a relatively small window during which to maximize the spending of the coin of youth by saddling the male of the species with seeking longevity of beauty and fertility in a mate. This means it is a great risk for a young Woman to settle on a mate when she knows she may have many years to suffer the poor choice of a mate, yet it is arguably a greater risk to put off that choice and find themselves with unappetizing options that may well see her settling for a mate later in life. Settling on a mate is far different from settling for one, yet Biology pesters you, signaling that choose you must. With the proper guidance during her formative years, she can acquire the tools to make informed choices for herself should she elect to nest a Family, and accept accountability. That is all we can reasonably ask.
Men have it no easier. Boys grow up indoctrinated into expecting to prove themselves lest they be left behind with the weak. They grow into young men accepting they have little intrinsic value but that which they acquire. This is not fair and it often means that their development into Men will take years, at the end of which they will have ideally accrued a certain degree of value (defined as maturity, resilience, leadership and respect - generally these come before resources and status). It is then a great risk for him to settle on a mate before demonstrating his accrued value as the timetable for doing this is not fixed and she may reason she retains enough of that coin of youth to try elsewhere. Yet, the risk is at least as great to wait until you have accrued a certain degree of value, though your choices will surely have increased, there is a greater risk they have made you a target of the unscrupulous - someone looking for safety and security yet offering little more than entitlement in return. Yet, if you wish to invite such high things as a mate and a Family into your life, you must choose. With the proper guidance during his formative years, he can acquire the tools to make informed choices for himself and accept accountability. That is all we can reasonably ask.
Life is choice and choice is risk. This age’s yoke has seen us trap ourselves in an echo chamber of the noise of choice and if you can’t tune into the station you choose, you can drown in noisy static and entirely lose the ability to hear anything - unable to choose at all much less choose what is best for you specifically. My best to you and yours.
Looking forward to your next.
TOTALLY agree with everything it's just that we must stop justify women that they follow their insticts.
Man have strong insticts too.
Imagine if a man let go his instincts.
He might even get arrested for " toxic behaviour " aka toxic masculinity.
Women are fully taking advantage of the moral decline nowadays.
What insticts do men have?
@@lilac6222 Be a winner no matter what, desire for accessing unlimited quantity of sexual partners versus quality for women, protection of their tribe with any cost.
I wouldn't say that out-of-control hypergamy is specifically a Western culture thing.
Even in wealthy and developed Asian societies like Singapore and South Korea, for instance, young women are known to be brutally picky when choosing a mate. I have many female friends from South Korea and Singapore who are perpetually single who tell me they can't meet anything they like, but they are drowning in male attention.
I also know a lot of nerdy 30-ish Asian guys who aren't bad looking at all who REALLY struggle getting a girlfriend.
And these guys wouldn't have had a problem in the 1950s, but now, with the advent of dating apps and beta orbiters on instagram, women have a wider net to cast and thus even in Asia, women have gotten super damn picky.
But you know, hypergamy can be a woman's worst enemy. I know a gal who's a 27 year-old Malaysian Chinese girl who is dating a guy who's the same age from a wealthy Chinese business family. But this guy is wishy washy about marriage, he responds to her texts with one word messages, he sometimes forgets to show up on dates, and only goes over to her house for a free meal (and her parents are super nice to him and his mother cooks up a storm because he is rich and they want him to put a ring on her finger).
But any outsider can see that he's just stringing her along and biding his time until something better comes along - she is maybe a 6-7 out of 10, doesn't wear makeup very often, and they met in school, before he matured into adulthood and was able to attract more women. He practically ghosts her and is totally uninterested in the relationship, yet she clings on really tightly to him and refuses to do or say anything that might displease him. Anyone who isn't a dolt can see that his coldness and indifference are signs that he regrets settling down too early and is hoping she will walk away on her own without him doing the dirty job of initiating the breakup.
But see, try and see it from her point of view. She has caught the highest value guy, and she is trying desperately to stick to him like a drowning man clinging onto a raft. Even though there are guys who would treat her really well if she breaks up with this high value guy, you must realize she has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle that comes with him and her parents also regard this guy as the best possible suitor because of his financial status, hence they are pressuring her to make this relationship work. She is putting in ALOT more effort because she has a lot more to lose than he does. And though the logical thing to do would be to cut her losses and find another guy who appreciates her before she hits the wall, her hypergamy is forbidding her from doing so since the other guy, no matter how nice, wouldn't be able to compare to this rich man's son who moves in high society. Does this make sense? Let me give you a metaphor: If you have been eating rich food and drinking champagne, then how is simple wholesome food going to taste?
I'm 29 and never been in a relationship. I'm tuned in. I love this blog!
You're more lucky than you think. I had only bad experience with relationships and I wish I was in your position.
@@alexanderl9721 For real? That makes me feel so much better man. Growing up, I was raised to think, "if there is a problem and you want something, go hard and fix it. You are capable." I've lived my life thinking this way, to the point where it's tough to envision seeing myself with someone. It's that mindset and the mindset of meeting expectations mentioned in this blog that makes it a bit challenging for me to speak/progress with women.
@@alexanderl9721 I'm trying to make moves, but the more I try, the more I think, "is it worth it?" I watch blogs like these and it motivates me to focus on work on myself and eventually, my situation with women will change.
@@alexanderl9721 Experience is the best teacher though, you have that advantage over myself. That'll take you far
that probably sux...but I'm willing to bet you have more money, a better career, and a lot more peace and contentment in your live than most men...
"Some probably"
Yeah haha sure, only "some" 😂
A woman will always go covert mode when she thinks she's in the interrogation chair.
Yet again, everything around the 7 minute mark just describes me, yet again, i feel as though I am a hypergamous man, however, although this was supposed to be an eye opener for women, i feel I too needed to hear this, I am quite guilty of saying to myself "Hey, dont settle down, she is not the best you can have, you have an entire planet full of women, surely there are better choices SOMEWHERE out there", I think there might be a flaw with this thinking, much to my dismay, and it also robs me of time, which is probably really important to establish a strong relationship.
I’m not a high quality man so I have no hope in finding a good woman so I went monk mode and take enjoyment in my hobbies. I’m happy.
Are you doing anything to Improve your quality?? Even though men like us may be low quality we can still take steps to increase our worth...
Same. It's not bad but I am 53 and with 2 children and so my time has passed. so maybe consider the country. Those country girls have their head screwed on right and appreciate what they get.
@@noislamonazisdotcom9888 my ex wife was a country girl and a nun and a virgin when I met her.... dont delude yourself.
@@noislamonazisdotcom9888 Public Service Announcement: AWALT
Disclaimer: I've lived/worked/studied in US, UK, Russia, Ukraine, Finland, Czech Republic, and 'known' women from 20+ countries.
You have one of the clearest thoughts about human psychology on the internet. Ty for sharing it now I know I'm not crazy person. The world is crazy around me :D
This is one of the smartest and clearest explanations of the dangers of misunderstanding the dynamics and limitations of real society versus those of perceptively boundless digital societies. Brilliant, just brilliant!
Alexander you are a force for good, thank you for what you do.
Wise words every adamant girl and her mom should listen to.
The problem is not that this message is getting out there to women. They have heard all this before and don't care. That's the problem.
The problem with hypergamy is that if 80% of women only want the top 20% of men, 60% of women get nothing, why is that so hard for them to understand....
They can get something from the top 20, just not exactly what they want 😅
The 60% women share the top 20% men with other women. Top 20% men have more than 1 woman.
This was so incredibly and beautifully delivered with such articulate, thoughtful detail.
This was an entirely solid 12:35 minute video that barely missed a single note in its symphony. Bravo.
Really good point, at first I thought I knew what this was gonna be about, but you entered a very specific aspect ( respectively the fact that connectivity makes the human instinct react at a greater scale ). This makes a lot of sense regarding the "I want to travel" rebelious sort of phase that so many teenage women seem to have nowadays, it definitely was not a thing in the past and although traveling is by itself cool, the hypergamous behaviour is probably a big factor.
"Being alone and single is miserable..." Those words hit home hard.
If a guy struggles with acquiring prospects, absolutely. Others enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with taking a respite from the dating world, likely because they know they can lace up and get back out there at their own discretion.
I would rather be lonely, single and free. Then miserable with some women who is making me feel worthless and drained in a not good way.
They do. But in the end, who would want to be even more miserable with some emotional train wreck? You tell me.
Once a woman has her babies she will usually reject the man. To me, this makes perfect biological sense.
How rare is it that a couple still (truly) love each other after getting married and having kids? No matter which decade we talk about the answer is definitely < 1%.
I love being alone and single. So I am not miserable.
Mate, I am a little disappointed that it took 10 mins to mention feminism as a partial cause! I would have put that as THE reason right at the start which spawned all this other behaviour :)
Stephen Spry such is the subtle nature of his channel. I hear ya though. I think it’s one of the more important parts of the message he’s getting across, actually. That type of delivery sort of sneak-attacks the viewers who might’ve scoffed at it’s first mention. Saving it for the backend forces the viewer to be in a place where they’ve already started considering the evidence.
@@Chadthefatherbear True - Unless they don't get past the 3-4 min mark... ;)
And only 3rd Wave Feminism at that considering many are viewing Intersectionality as 4th wave and there's rumors about a 5th wave of Feminism.
I've been saying to people that the whole of Feminism is wrong. The Suffragists pushing Universal Suffrage came before the Suffragettes. Feminism encouraged women to abandon their areas of dominance to compete with men in their areas of dominance, nevermind that women always had social power to begin with. Prohibition is evidence of that and the undermining of due process in the West way before #MeToo is another piece of evidence.
I liken Feminism to the rejection of the curse in Genesis "woman, your desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you." A Lilithian mode for women who demand to be equal to men, but can do no more than cause problems for others as they wallow in their own misery. Always done without any real examination of what's going on and ready to lash out at any attempt at criticism or correction.
A woman will pursue a man for the purpose of having children. She will also attempt to undermine that man whenever possible to see whether he's still a good fit for her. And she will leave that man if she thinks she finds a better man. That man can in turn find a better woman because if she left her previous mate, there's nothing saying she won't leave you. So you leave her for a woman that hasn't displayed the same disloyalty as the woman you're leaving and the now ex is left with her children to take care of which also serve as a hindrance towards advancement either through work or finding another mate. And it's her fault because she already had what she needed and abandoned that for whims that don't support her chosen responsibilities. This fits one example of the curse in Genesis. There's more to explore there.
2nd wave is anti-family. It builds on the notion of French Philosopher and Proponent of Feminism, Charles Fourier who said, "marriage is a prison for women." When you undermine the family, you undermine the safest and smallest unit for all involved (man, woman, and children) which also happens to be the smallest unit needed to build a thriving society. The example I mentioned above can be observed in Simone de Beauvoir who was an influence on Betty Friedan who wrote The Feminine Mystique released in 1963.
Simone de Beauvoir paired up with Jean Paul Sartre. She was happy to not be tied down, but she eventually sought that towards the end of her life. Before that she would engage in sex with young women and girls and shared them with Sartre. When she ultimately wanted a monogamous relationship with Sartre, he was enjoying having more than one woman at his disposal. He wasn't going to settle down. de Beauvoir married someone else, but she was frustrated in not getting what she wanted with Sartre. "Woman, your desire will be for your husband and he shall rule over you." She chose a "husband" and her expectations for her life would have manifested through her marriage to Sartre, but he didn't return her desire for commitment. She earned what she received.
@@Xeranx
So just to be entirely clear, are you saying that all women should be forced by the government to get married like they once were? I mean, even from an evolutionary perspective, marriage is technically unnatural. No other animals have marriage contract or marriage ceremonies.
@Stephen Spry, if you mention feminism then you didn't understand anything from this video. This video is about female nature, and female nature was created by evolution. Females are this way weather if there is any feminism at the cultural level or not.
Thanks for speaking on this..It true and need more discussions.
Mr Grace
You delivered it.
👍👍🙏🙏
i think this is your best video yet !
Hello, Mr Grace. I learn a lot from your videos. I really appreciate them. I would like to see you interview women in their 40s and 50s. Thank you and congratulations on your work.
The fear of missing out still happens today. If a girl sees her friends in relationships or getting married she may get with a guy she isn't that into. And like how in arranged marriages grow a fondness over time. It could even be the guy who's always been there for her. Funny how she probably values him less precisely because he values her so greatly.
However a lot of girls nowdays might not see her friends in successfull longterm relationships and because her friends hasn't succed in that area she might think there is plenty of time for her to find the right one.
Most guys display the boyfriend qualities( provider mode). Have you ever wondered what if you was just straightforward? The reason why. my first gf was because I stepped into tension n also I told myself I either get the girl or not but at least I took my shot.
I didn’t tell her she was pretty, all I did because or circumstances, was hang around her n tease her( playfully pushing her n making fun of her.) looking back I could of just hooked up with her if I wanted but because the notion of wanting a gf I went provider n asked her right after we first kissed to be my gf( gave all my power away.) If you like a girl, don’t wait too long to hookup, she’ll respect you more if you own her in bed( it’s really easy n I ain’t got no long Dong lol, spank her, u gayy if you don’t want her submissive 😅😂
Wow. That makes so much sense. Good job describing it scientifically. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
And I'll add, old women look like old women. We all know it. I'm just saying it. Hate on me if you must, but that's not going to change the facts.
Half of the young women look like old women. I think the stress and drinking are taking a toll sooner.
@@Sensorium19 yup, too much partying
That's it you've done it now. Made me sub to your patreon.
A woman's love is conditional. Her lust is conditional as well. Her hypergamy is limitless.
I fully agree with the thoughts shared in this video. The problem is that when women do ignore their instincts and try to not be hypergamous they're often unhappy in the marriage and it ends in divorce. Knowing that something isn't good and trying to fight it doesn't mean the alternative will be preferable. In general when it ends in divorce it's not so bad for women as they can usually find someone else quickly (if they haven't already found someone before the marriage ends), but for men it can be crushing and turn them against women ensuring they end up alone the rest of their life. If a woman meets someone she is thinking about settling for she needs to make 100% sure she'll be happy with them. If she's not sure then she's risking ruining his life. Men need to be mindful of this too and not let their emotions cloud their ability to objectively determine if she's the type of person that can be happy with them.
i think you have forgot 1 key element. Older women that have missed the boat become bitter and they spend their time convincing younger women that they should "explore the world" and not settle down too young knowing full well that they wish they hadnt done the same exact thing
This!
They deceive the next generation, because theyre miserable
thank you for making these video my dude
I read a book about husbands (Voice Male), and something an older man interviewed said stuck with me. He said that people are concerned about finding the perfect one rather than being the perfect one, and that chips away at contentment. I can focus on only one thing at a time, so dating many at once has no appeal to me.
outstanding video !!
To a 19 year old Russian girl in the Chelyabinsk Oblast, with a Smartphone, a 35 year old bloke cleaning cars in Bankstown is a genuine hypergamic dating option.
It is not good to be alone, but it is better to be alone, than to wish you were. Choose well.
A friend of mine was on tender she met 3 guys…. 1) a police office who was a mama’s boy ..he slept everyday all day when he was off… was severely overweight and always ate out… clingy and stalkerish 2) a pilot that turned out to be a major narcissist 3) a business owner who turned of to be a pill head. His head almost fell into his plate at dinner one night he was so messed up… oh! And a 4th… he told her he just “got access to his daughter” because he was on Meth addict and just got out of rehab…. So the awesome choices are endless… 👎👎👎👎👎👎
Hard to respect women when this is the furthest extent they can think and analyse things. I won't even say it because it's so obvious and I don't want to undermine you by mansplaining, I'll just say you're on the wrong side of UA-cam, go back to the homepage
The idea of hypergamy often gets trashed as "gold digger" but - I think I figured out why it's so important.
What is one of the most devastating things that a guy can do to a girl? Get her pregnant and then bail. So, it's in a woman's best interest to try and evaluate "how responsible are you? Are you going to be a jerk or not?" well, HOW can someone gauge responsibility? Well, if they have accomplished a lot of things that take a lot of work, then perhaps they may not be a jerk and bail.
So - it's not related to "gold digger" it's related to "I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone who is an irresponsible jerk"
tinder is not a dating app, It is an app to make women feel validated and entertained.
Three things I really liked:
1. excellent anthropological parallelism
2. life really is richer when you share it. We will not get more of this with the current attitudes.
3. encourage women to find a good decent man with whom she can build a decent life and family
Bravo Alex
My only problem: I understand what women seek in a man, but I think they're nuts for seeking that, so I eschew them, because I've been a doormat, and I'm not lonely enough to plow and sow and reap to glut the avarice of someone who would riot in my blood and hunt me from the face of the earth.
Thou shall not have any problem sir!
from which epic does this one come from "I'm not lonely enough to plow and sow and reap to glut the avarice of someone who would riot in my blood and hunt me from the face of the earth." ?? cuz it's really well written!
That there is some proper wordsmithing
Alex dropping some KNOWLEDGE bombs!
This analysis is spot on, Good work.
This is truly disheartening. So-called high quality women are very few and far between. Better just to continue to improve yourself and let them come to you. If they ever do.
Women go for the top 10% of men. Therefore, I’m not surprised
*top 20% actually
Your Bunny Wrote dont talk to me about your opinions..if there not backed by a fact don’t even bother with that logical your displaying..it’s never a competition for women. Your pricing yet again gold diggers..the reality or that 10%-0.1% dont usually settle down with any low quality women..and no each don’t get what they want...most end up misserable hoping and waiting..but while she’s waiting what has she done with her life??..is she high quality or low quality..is she a top 10% as well??..how old all this stuff has to add up
@@blackkyurem720 10% actually ... Especially if they had a rich husband or bf who had a nice house lol. If you don't have this ... Then forget it
Another great video. Thanks for these as a fifty year old man I feel a lot of what you say from instinct and experience but could not articulate it like you. I am going to recommend your videos to my son who is beginning his first relationships with the opposite sex.
I'd slightly disagree, in that prior to local villages and communities; females at a primate level would happily share a dominant male. It was only later on in those more civilised times and because of religion, women had to find a single male to provide for them,. The other part of the decline of religion, feminism, the availability of contraception and no common shared village belief also allows women to be far more promiscuous today. The other problem with feminism, is that women are now competing with men in the workplace, and no woman can instinctually marry below herself, so she's inevitably going to end up breaking up with a man when she becomes of higher staus.
Man these women should have have all fought in the great emu war, they would be just as effective
Lol. A man of culture. The great emu war is still going brother. In our hearts
TheTheoser never forget the brave men who fought a brutal war in the desert and plains of Australia
God bless you, the reader of this comment.
This is a truth, but been thinking about this social/evolutionalpsychology phenoneom more from the Internet point of view. As cell phones and Internet started to be more popular and popular, it changed a lot of things for the worse. The social circles are now much wider and larger, people have easier access to information and it's much easier to connect with people. In the dating area back in the say, 2000's, the partners were usually found in the friends' group or at the same school, workplace, hobbies, maybe bars, there wasn't so much hypergamy and absolutely unrealistic expectations of most men. The average Joe could find a partner pretty easy, now it's much harder. Today seems like even an average looking young women only accept no less than a Brad Pitt, because they have too many options to choose from their pocket dating apps lol. This has changed the values how people see others to much shallow and superficial and I really hate it.
Perfect comment!
i think the thing that men find most confusing about women is that when they explain how they think about dating they use terms that women understand and women seem to think that men think the same way and dont realize that this means something completely different to men.
just like a lot of women are under the delusion that having a good career and being successful or making a lot of money make them more attractive to men.
The same can be said about divorce. It is initiated by women 85% of the time. Because she thinkings she has so many other options
If you’re married, and things aren’t going well, single life looks very good. And that continues as you get older. So divorce becomes the easy option that many will take. But it’s very risky, as you may end up alone and not with a new partner as you had hoped. This is especially hard if you’re older and end up carrying a bag full of memories.
When you’re married, even if you aren’t romantically in love anymore, just having that other person there who wonders where you are, who calls on you when you’re out and there’s trouble at home, means a lot.
Nope, divorced once by a two time loser who's on her third husband now (my 19 year old boy and I call him 003). She decided she had to have a divorce, no counselling, when our boys were 5 and 6 and 1/2. I told her that it'd deny the kids a normal childhood, they wouldn't know how to raise their own kids in the future,etc. and it's all come true. As psychologist's say we become our parents (a compliment to me) but her mom was bipolar.. Nope, I'd treat a woman as great as she'd treat me if I got remarried but I just have no interest. What's to be gained vs. lost?
The best part is that high quality, high value men are focused on improving themselves. They don't have the time nor the energy to chase women. At the same time women expect high quality men to chase them. It's two completely opposite expectations.
really impressive work alex
You are so right. "Life is best shared with a kind, respectful, high-quality, masculine man." Many women understand this, but unfortunately the prima donnas and the entitled career women will have to learn the hard way--by ending up alone. Not a pleasant condition, but like you said, due to the present social environment, this was inevitable.
Most of this is true but by the time she is 30 she hits the wall.
standing ovation
I thought I already made this point here but I guess I missed it.
When a man meets a woman he'll ask one of many questions, usually about her life or family or interests or hobbies or likes or dislikes or he may even come up with some little clever line make her feel special.
When a woman meets a man she always leads with the same question:
"What do you do for a living?"
Never, ever reveal your financial status.
Whether a millionaire, or just starting out, don't reveal your cards. Keep her guessing, always.
At 4:21 Alexander explains male hypergamy: selecting the prettiest girl in the tribe. It explains the obsession with rating scales.
You have a great message. Unfortunately it’s too late.
I do appreciate the honesty of both women in that interview. however, that doesn't make it any easier for us good guys who are not wealthy, yet we manage what we have properly and we just don't need a women ruining us financially. It's true, not all women exhibit hypergamy. There are some "good girls" out there. They are just not advertising themselves, and that makes it hard for us good guys to find them. Us men need to be men, and do not allow ourselves to be whittled down just to keep her. Treat them good like a gentleman should, yet if they're not going to reciprocate, end it with them peacefully and move on.
Shouldn’t only the most attractive people be allowed to mate? How do you think we ended up with so many desperate unattractive people?
People don't ever change, people just pretend that they have changed but deep down they know who they really are.
Brilliant Video, big thumbs-up
"feels" thats what its all about with women.
Holy shitballs.
Been watching this channel for nearly a year. Didn't know till now you're a West Aussie.
I'm just down the road Mandurah wayz.
I've put a few mates on this channel 😂🤙
In the middle ages there where a lot of bachelors and they lived in castles. The castle had a drawbridge and a moat, and they wear a suite of armour. It was good for keeping women away and war.in the castle men invent things drank beer with there friends. Then one day one of his mates branch his girlfriend. She told all her friends they said it wasn't fair and stormed the castle the rest is history.
Damn! I missed that road trip!
Trust me, as long as the man is rich, multiple women are happy to share the same man. Infidelity only becomes a complaint when the man accused does not have enough money to keep multiple women.
To say it shortly.... I blame both what Alexander video topic and
"High speed Internet Porn". This has destroyed the views on how men AND women interact and look at what sex is supposed to be.
Once the sexual robot evolution comes mainstream women will be harder priced to find something that they can give a man