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It's a tough cookie mister Grace. It may be true what you're saying, but it's impossible to execute. I have a love interest that firmly believes she can be friends with men. We all know that's not really true, but we'll look like assholes for trying to explain that dynamic. Stats, videos of interviews and facts be damned. And even if she admits that a lot of girls do this, it won't be her, she's the exception.
I told a very attractive girl at work she looked tired. I was telling the truth! She did look tired. The following week I completely blanked her just giving one word answers. I'm not lowering myself anymore and I lose complete interest once I find out she has orbiters.
@@10314347 By no means. Orbiters are for women as a kind of socialized good, equally distributed among all of them. It comes in their biological luggage, like the vagina.
Women have a constant need for approval and adoration. Approval because they know they only have one thing (sex) to offer a man. Adoration because they know that their looks is the only way to attract a man.
My friend thought I was her backup, when she got divorced I said no. She was shocked, just didnt trust her anymore and didnt like her screwing over her husband.
I was married to a woman who was kind of socially awkward and didn't have a lot of friends. She met some dude at work and was telling me about how they were becoming good friends. I trusted her 100%. I never felt threatened. I encouraged the friendship because I was glad she was making friends that weren't just my friends. And yeah, she cheated on me with him. I broke up with her immediately, moved out, and divorced her.
@@Madzguy007 How exactly? You wanted him to police her every waking second? Sounds like it's exhausting to be you. She is an adult and made a choice...no amount of policing short of illegal actions like physically restrain her movements would keep her from cheating if she set her mind to it. If she respected him and their relationship, it would never have happened any way.
@@MuantanamoMobile It's the dudes fault for being so naive.. True you can't police people's actions, but you can be vigilant.. In his case, he encouraged the friendship with another man and just let it be.. Unfortunately we have thousands of years of biological needs that are wired in all of us, that leads to such situations.. I have personally witnessed this countless number of times in work places between those so called super friendly coworkers.. Its happened to me as well, but my coworker was single and only wanted sex.
@@Madzguy007 Whether or not, he encouraged the friendship doesn't matter. If she was going to cheat on him it wouldn't matter - NO matter what he would do. Millions of married people day by day work with the opposite gender without cheating. She made a choice, not the guys fault...in the slightest to expect his "loving, shy" wife to respect their marriage. She is human, not a kid or robot...she made a choice.
@@MuantanamoMobile The millions who don't cheat don't make special friendship with the opposite gender at work. They act professional at work! She made her choice yes, but the environment & situation she got in led to this happening and he encouraged a situation that was highly likely going to lead to this...Adult men & women cannot be close friends...
@@blablablabla542 I do not think you understand the dangers inherent in the behavior you are suggesting. Aside from being metoo'ed by a vindictive GF, there is the possibility of pregnancy. Mistakes (even intentional ones) happen. Men are completely vulnerable in the legal environment engendered by the Duluth Model. This concept is the legal default in most States. It depicts women always as the victims, and men as always the perpetraters. Take Domestic violence. If a woman is hitting a man with a cast iron skillet (for instance) and breaks a nail doing so, the man is guilty of Abuse. That's only one example of how bad it is out there.
I cant count the times Ive known girls who were in long term relationships, then two weeks after they break up, have a new boyfriend. If they're good looking it might only take two or three days after the breakup, before they have another guy. I believe the term for this behavior is called, being on the rebound
'On the Rebound' is a much rarer situation than is depicted. Most of the time, it is the woman that breaks off the relationship. In this case, she will have another already lined up. This is called 'Monkey Branching', where the woman sees what she perceives to be a superior choice, then pfft she is gone.
Then only one I knew she was lonely is 60 years old woman of my friend mom. And guess what is really desperate. If a woman is not desperate is not single.
WOW. My ex cried on my shoulder recently about this, how she missed "us having good time watching movies and hanging out". I told her there is a giant elephant in the room. She had NO clue what I was talking about.
I'm nobody's backup. If a woman isn't reciprocating the effort I'm putting in, it's game over. I'm nobody's cheap ego trip. I'm either the person they want or I'm gone. That usually means I'm not in the game at all, but I won't hand my self-respect over to a woman in exchange for nothing but a distant possibility of her maybe eventually getting around to my spot in the line if she runs out of better options.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Every girl I attempted to talk to that didn't return the favor I completed ghosted, even if we were good friends before. I had an ex try break up but keep me as a friend because she "saw me as just a friend", she got ghosted too. I've been with my current woman for years and she shows me I'm her only choice, she has orbiters but o dealt with it just like the guys said in the video. The men have known her before me but she's with me so I have something they don't.
@@derrickrobinson7269 I keep friends even some ex. But the have no chance either way. Now I wont stop hanging out over not dating with me. But then again they are not longer any option either so it doesnt really give them attention boost
I was a backup for a long time. Every time she broke up with a boyfriend she would start wanting to hang out with me again. She wasn't the only girl I was interested in, but she was the one I was most interested in. But I had to cut ties with her because it became clear to me that I would always be the second choice. It hurt for a long time but it was the right decision.
Rule number 1 : allways count on yourself Rule number 2 : be the best version of yourself Rule number 3 : socialize with others Rule number 4 : have a passion Rule number 5 : don't take it personally bro
The more I learn about women, the stronger my desire to distance myself from them becomes. I don't hate them, I just feel like who they are and who I am is just not compatible.
Royal there are plenty of sweet girls just looking for someone to love and to love her back. Heck there are even women who are waiting until marriage to be with a man. Become a high quality, good man and go after these women.
So basically, we are disposable, no more than tools for attention, cheap emotions and filling the time untill she feels that she needs to settle down.
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It’s much easier for her to trade in and date a new man than it is to work on problems from a current relationship. Women want their man to make them happy. They don’t always realize that happiness come from within.
She can only do this for so long though. Eventually, she will get older and she will realize that her dream man can now get someone younger than her. So eventually she just ends up signing up for a webinar on mediation lol.
I've experienced exactly the same. Looking back at it, they not only left me because they found someone better, they didn't leave me *until* they found someone better. Both left supposedly for reasons that were not new, yet they did not leave me earlier, they left when they had plan B ready at their doorstep.
My ex had 3 or 4 backup guys that did things for her. She used them. My ex wanted to marrie me but u did not want to beacuse she is a narcisst and abused me so i kicked her out. 4 mounts later she had moved to another city and married one of her backup guys 😂 poor him..
Same here. But instead a narcissist she was a borderline (undiagnosed, but her symptoms screamed out with any of her actions). She had the habit of dumping all her successive partners and telling the new ones that all her exes were abusers and psychopaths. Edit: And she also kept several backups, of whom she was always complaining about their insistence and "harassment", but who in turn were kept close by her to help her make the move, to take her by car anywhere or to take care of her cats... while she was on vacation with the "boyfriend" of the season.
@@manuelmanzanero5057 oh i feel sorry for u. I work as a nurse in a mental hospital so i reconnized that she was a narcisst after 3 mounts.. But i ignored The signs beacuse i wanted love to much..to desperate at that time. There where a lot she did not only to me but i was The only one of few that say stop to this. She had beta men that loved her so much so they gave her things, money, even did her home work from school, one beta guy or friendzone guy even have her a job that she only worked a few time and then quit. 😅 I wanted a woman. I got a girl with a Princess attitud that used Every person in her precent in some way. Even girlfriends.. So when she did not get what she wanted from me a "slave" then she got controlling and tryed to manipulate me. When that did not work she abusive and cut me badly in my arm with a knife so i have a big scar on my arm now.. Then i kicked her out. 4 mounts later she married one of this beta guys she had contact with while we where togheter (probly beacuse he was easy fooled and she only wanted to marrige) i love this chanel beacuse i see woman and love in a diffrent perspective now then for like 6 or 7 years ago. Before i thought that woman wanted love and that was enough. I was a sucker then and naiv and to "romantic" to understaind what woman really want then. A lot of woman playes that they are victim.
@@Lubbe1984 Yes, that victim playing is called "damseling". Borderlines are masters of it. All people in the cluster B of personality disorders try to lock up their successive romantic targets through love bombing, but BPD people practice a particularly harmful variant of it: they not only drown their target in praise and validation, but also they appeal to the empathy of that target by telling a victimist soap opera about their life and their ex-partners, filled with terror tales of abuse and violence, to put their target in a hero or savior mode... Only when it is too late do we end up discovering that they do not love anyone, they only reward with flattery our temporary ability to make them feel good about themselves. When they have squeezed you they get rid of you. They operate the lever, throw the spent cartridge and place the next bullet, like a Winchester rifle. And so once, twice and a thousand times. One of the worst experiences that anyone can know.
@@manuelmanzanero5057 ... Excellent description. I've had a borderline girl too. God she was perfect. Thank God she ended it so quickly... It would have been hard to survive if I was farther in.
My ex-girlfriend tried to tell me that I needed to get used to her having lots of male friends I just laughed for about ten minutes and she couldn't figure out why, they think we're so stupid
Ive had this happen recently. I was dating a girl and she had a few male "friends". Funny thing is that she invited one of them to her place and she told me. She did it again with 2 other male "friends" and told me beforehand. I understand women will have orbiters and I really wasnt that jealous about it, but concerned about how she was entertaining it way too much. Plus she was a very sexual person. I knew it wouldnt work, so I ended it. She was very upset about this though. She did seem to like me, but I think she might have sensed that I wasnt as far in that love cycle as she was. About 2 weeks later, one of the guy conveniently asked her out, but she "didnt" know he liked him. She accepted the date. You cant make it up lol (maybe they have been getting "busy" while we were together). Maybe she was saying it to piss me off, but then and there, I knew I made the right call. A month later, i was honest and just told her that I couldnt trust her. She said she was glad Ive moved on (probably being sarcastic or trying to find out if I was still single). I said "me too". She blocked me. 😂🤣
@@dennisherman1920 Thanks dude. I have been an beta orbiter in the past. I think we all have to be honest. And being honest and too direct can hurt your cause when you are in the thick of it. But nothing wrong with being honest after all is said and done. It all comes with experience. You need to learn to be comfortable with that fact. I dont 100% agree with the advice given in the video but I understand its intent. I think the important thing is not that there are orbiters in a woman's life, its how she goes about it and entertains it thats important. A high quality woman who can recognise that she is with a high quality man would entertain it differently and a low quality woman would entertain it regardless of who she is with.There are so many moving parts (i.e. quality of all partys including the orbiters). Its a tough one. Strangely enough, one thing said in the video is that women dont often understand how men dating life is. I think we can flip that somewhat. I say this to say that I think men should start looking at the women around them as orbiters. I have a few girls who Im friends with who I know dont stand a chance with me. Im just not interested, but I certainly dont want to be rude to them. They are just not my type and not high quality enough. I think quite a lot of men do have orbiters, but dont look at them as orbiters. So I can understand how some girls feel, but dont bloody entertain it and invite these orbiter around you all the time. You're going to break their heart. Keep working on yourself and you will not need to feel the scarcity as much.
Yep, men and women are too different for genuine friendship to exist. They're together because they have a common GOAL and that goal allows them to overlook the things that would ordinarily keep them from socializing together. i.e. a family and stable future.
Put a dog and a woman in the back of a car and lock it. After 15 min. open it and guess who is happy to see you ! Just pets and children love unconditionally.
This was a serious blow to my ego--as a male orbiter. I knew what I was doing for awhile, so I made some major changes to my behavior, e.g. not initiating contact with the girl at all. But hearing out loud what I had been doing for months made me feel like dirt. Got some work to do.
Don't feel bad. We're here for learning and self-improvement. I'd fallen into this role before as well about 7 years ago without really understanding the dynamic at the time. The chick was my TA from college and I met up with her for lunch a couple times while she had an out of state boyfriend who "she wasn't sure if things would work out" with. It's funny learning about these concepts on the Alexander Grace channel and being able to identify with names and labels these behavior patterns.
My mom only ever had one boyfriend which is my dad... My two sisters only ever had one boyfriend which are now there husbands... I' can't find any other girls like this...
@@leylinfarlier889 only 1 that they told you about. Your mom & sisters are not gonna parade around their conquests. That's what men do. Women minimize & dont flaunt
@@blackgirlblue1795 lol.. we live in a very rural place here in a 3rd world country, so nice try. There are still women here who saw values in having only 1 sexual partner for life.
"high quality women" aren't the ones with "back up men." If your new girlfriend has back up men, she already lacks the basic moral standards to make her compatible.
I feel like his version of "High Quality" is just women who are nice to look at, That word high quality sounds like she is not human, and above doing anything regular basic human women would do. Which of course we all know is not true What does a "high quality" woman bring to the table that other basic women don't?
@@ChristOfHer333 all women have them. The "orbiter" himself is the pathetic one in this situation because 9 times out of 10 it makes him look undesirable to the woman. If she ends up leaving u for this orbiter character its because she never liked u to begin with and in that case u are better off that it happend. High quality women are better at keeping these dudes in check though which is a positive quality. Low quality woman attract creepy stakerish orbiters that can cause conflict in your life. Thats the only difference though.
I've yet to meet a woman in my life who I'd consider "wife material". I used to think I did, but if I had have married any of those women my life would have been hell.
@@conorm2524 Good, this means you have high standards. Keep your standards high and one day you’ll come across a woman that meets your standards. Good luck brother!
When I was young and dumb, I got engaged. My aunt got news of that and told me to always keep my options open, because you never know what's going to happen. I thought that was terrible since I was prepared to fully commit to someone. Then, I believed that was some of the best advice I've ever heard in my life. Now with perspectives like in this video, it just adds another layer to what I've heard that day.
One evening years ago I had my son dress up in a nice sport coat and had him wear one of my watches then took him with me to a strip club. We spent a few hours there entertaining the endless stream of strippers coming to our table looking for us to part with our wallets. On the drive home I told him " son what we just experienced was what a good looking woman experiences every time she walks into a bar" Women may share the same planet as us but they might as well live in a different universe.
Orbiters are a secure comfort when scheisse hits the fan. It’s an attention from unworthy but when you are falling, better to have cushions than to be smashed onto concrete.
@@osse1n No it's not the same. It's kinda hard to explain because it's more of a pronunciation thing. Every german will understand you though regardless of ss or ß.
I don’t think anyone with a backup partner would be honest about it. If following any question with “Be honest” would actually get you an honest answer, this world would be an easier place to live in.
@@jk-2053 the "be honest" only works if she knows that you already know the truth + if you have set proper boundaries & repercussions for lying in your relationship she won't lie because she knows what will happen if she does. Basically if she cares and you've set proper boundaries, she won't lie. If she does, you know she never cared about you in the first place. But you're right, for most men this won't work because the majority don't set boundaries and let women walk all over them
When I married my current wife, we left chapel she texted 2 boyfriends and told them she just got married and couldn't see them. She waited till we got married so if I backed out she still had plan B and C. I about died laughing. I had a nanny watching my kids years ago. I gave her a cell phone. She was dating a guy I knew. I looked at phone bill. 5000 minutes of texting her ex husband and her 1st ex husband from 20 years earlier. Don't get to close to any woman, love them for who they are, but don't expect them to be something they can never be or that you expect.
Alexander you are mistaking one thing here, If your girlfriend has male orbiters, and accepts it to a point where she takes advantages out of it, then in no way you have the right to call that person a "high quality woman" , no chance ! If you got in a Relationship with that person, thinking she was high quality and then found out she does that, then she definitely is NOT! You are trying to make it look like it's Something normal or natural for a woman to do that and worst, you imply they Don't acknowledge it is wrong to do it because of that fact., but women knows it's wrong, they know it right from the start and yet they still do it… Just look at the girl in the interview and listen to what she says : After she explains the reasons why someone would do that including herself : She said at 1:04 and i quote : "And as HORRIBLE as it is, like i try to not do it" then "but you do, and you do feel better", Sorry Alexander, but Don't try to make it look like it's a normal behavior , it's common yes, maybe natural from a biologic perspective, but in no way it should be tolerated to a point where you'd have to take so many carefull steps and almost "walk on eggs" to make your gf realise it's wrong…
If you listened to what he said, he mentioned that HQW would have them, but she wouldn't be talking to them. They are just talking to her, and she might say whatever or not think of them like anything. The ones who take advantage and use them for validation are the LQW
ho but i listened very carefully, but just like you mentioned, if these women don't "think of them like anything", then you CAN'T call these men "backups" in the first place ! I am sorry but if a man is called a "backup", it means he has been considered as one! So in the end YES -> the girl did actually give a few thoughts about it as a potential "plan B", normal behaviour would be if the men in question were actually refered as just friends or just men and that's it!
@@CultureShockGaming What? That doesn't make any sense. If the girl didn't call him or consider him as a backup then he's just an orbiter and she needs to push him away, that was my point. The girl who said that "it's horrible but makes me feel better" isn't high quality, he never said these women were. Obviously, if they are not seen as anything they are not backups?
@@chandler3621 Dude.. first if you go back at 5:48, --> yes the pieces of advice he is giving are for men with a "high quality" woman.. so he is basically saying that these behaviors (having male orbiters, or even plan b) also apply to "HQ" women .. Which leads to my very first comment --> what pissed me off was that line at the end : 13:21 "alexander this is kind of manipulative, you're just following a script, why not telling her the truth right away".. And it is the main point i am trying to make ---> Men should'nt have to follow a step by step guide in order to slap the harsh truth in the face of their partner! High quality or not.. if what she is doing is bullshit, and if it is a behaviour you don't like, just call her out and that's it ! And if she can't handle the truth or keep doing it (no matter the biology or if it's common for women to do that..etc..) then why waste time and energy with that person ?
There's been a couple of women in my past who THOUGHT I was a backup plan for them. Later, when she would try to promote me to "starter," she soon realized that I no longer considered HER to be an option for ME. The way I see things is if I'm not good enough to be her first choice, then she loses out on any possibility of being involved with me. She'll move on with her life, but it's obvious that it's a shot to her ego.
Although we men cannot relate to this phenomenon, I can picture it and to me, women who need backup are weak both emotionally and mentally. Seeking other men as cushion is avoiding facing yourself.
I knew it!! My ex left me in January, a week later she was with another guy and in 8 months she had more than 5 boyfriends. I'm glad to be single, I feel more happy with myself and less insecure than when I was with her. Great video.
I have first hand experience of this. About 6 months ago my and my ex broke up before this she wanted some sort of ''time out'' for 2 weeks. At that time window she was with one of hers family's best friend and they started dating almost soon as we broke up. To be honest I was devasted when I watched hers instagram. It has been 6 months and I still kinda miss her even though I know I should move on... EDIT: I want to thank you for producing this type of content it really helps to understand and relate to how relationships works. Great Job!
@@enemysub9057 what's your opinion on a girlfriend going abroad for 6 months or a year, should you just say we're taking a break until your back or try maintain
Steven Ryan For your mental health, end it. I studied abroad and the girls I met who were also studying abroad were like on an episode of ‘Girls gone wild’. They have the mentality of ‘No one will know since it’s another country 🤷🏾♂️’. Proceed with caution
@@-eurosplitsofficalclanchan6057 Atheism is not a religion as there is no universal atheist belief system, all atheists have different beliefs.. But yes atheism or agnosticism is definitely growing in the world.
@@savagebushranger7953 No. Religion does not solve this problem, unless you live in a theocratic society since your birth and if this is the only way of life you know. Society is changing, religious communities undergo changes along with society. If a girl in church is good-looking and has good personality and intelligence - she has backups. If a guy in church is good-looking, is high status, has a well-paying job and is not an extreme jerk - he has backups. Religion actually makes things worse by feeding outdated information on dating and relationships to young people. From what I seen growing up in there, people tend to be less honest with others and themselves.
@@r.d.6290 completely agree. Theocratic, old school culture is *exactly* what I mean. No I'm not particularly unique amongst the motley crew of western degenerates either. A hypocrite even. As an example, less than 100 years ago, wearing something like yoga pants in public would have you pilloried, ridiculed, ostracised and made a spectacle of. Young children were raised with an element of fear, traumatised into conformity. Sounds really harsh, but we've gone soft. The wolves rightfully should tear this house of cards down.
If you do not trust your woman, move on. Even if you do not have proof, trust your instincts. I'm married with 3 daughters, my wife already knows that if I ever feel like she cheated, it is over.
Alexander you just addressed one of the major issues in dating today,… It has become socially acceptable for women to have these orbiters back up guys or multiple options feminism and other women have made it OK for this… It’s almost like the female gender has lost their integrity they think they have the right to be this selfish… Great video very well put 👍🏻
Unfairvindeed, if you become entqgled in their web of intrigue, supposed conscider sitiationship they tetain the right do whatvever they like, cheat, manipulate, shame and dump you when ever they have their backup ready. Men ussualy don't have this luxery, expelled imediatly if anything displeasing has happened. Womens nature hard to hide, men are more replaceble, invisble for each other species. Life is short, women may understand thet more to live every day. Feel life to the fuul.yes that might be something men might need to vallue more, stopvwaisting time on unnecesary activities go socialize more, work on your life !
@@MazdaRX7007 its almost like civilization only works when women are highly regulated and controlled otherwise they ruin everything and society collapses... Some smart guy wrote a book on this. Joseph Daniel Unwin was his name. Book was called Sex and Culture.
Hahaha it makes life so much easier to just having a side chick and not a gf.
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Englishsea24 me too. I’ve sacrificed enough for past relationships. It’s better to be single and have your hobbies and pursue your dreams. Women want you to provide security and happiness for them, not achieve it on their own. And if you don’t there is always a dude who will make them think they will.
@Derrick K Thats the best way. Love what you do, learn as much as you can, do your best, be your own person and don't budge. Women will come and go but when you're the strongest you can be, the ones that don't matter really won't. Ive never got guys who chase women, work menial jobs and whos life goal is to have kids. Its just a pointless and miserable existance, and if you are that type and just have resources, you're just gonna be used
Me to. My friend was with his girl for 7 years then out of the blue she broke up with him. Why? She said she wasnt attract ed to him anymore next day she went out with his bestfriend. All that time wasted he couldve achieved more!
I had a coworker that had her plan A, he was from a rich family going to Princeton University. But seemed like he didn't pay her much attention and was a guy that worked on himself alot not giving her much attention. I came along and was plan b I guess with her flirting and touching but I hate this gynocentric society, so I showed interest back got her fantasizing and riled up.. Then I ignored completely, she hates my guts, but I did it to show these entitled princesses there's a new kind of man born to destroy their overprivileged feminist world!
I am Greek.And I find very enlightning that his name Alexander (Alexandros in Gree means the one that can deflect or reflect men even further maybe defeat men) but he is actually a Philandros ( the one that cares for men like they where his friends he is compasionate with them and does everything to help them.I just find this irony very amusing and cultural in rare kind of way.Keep going Alexander.
Also Greek here, I thought Alexander (and also Alexandra, the female equivalent) meant “defender of men” or “protector of men”. In that case his name wouldn’t be a contradiction haha
I would recommend reading the book Getting More by Stuart Diamond. He's a well-known professor from UPenn's Wharton School. Many of the same strategies Alexander talks about in this video are also talked about in great detail in his book. Remember, be as innocent as a dove, but as shrewd as a viper. Also, gents, don't sell a brother out for a woman. It's not worth it!
Thanks for this recommendation my man, will go and give it a read. Also the quote you made about "be as innocent as a dove but as shrewd as a viper" Is this from the 48laws of power?
@@dimetriwatt7334 Thanks for the comment! Actually, I'm paraphrasing the Bible. It's advice Jesus gives to his followers. I believe it's Matthew 10:16 if I'm not mistaken. 48 Laws of Power is indeed an interesting read, btw!
The wall is mostly a cope. It only means she has to slightly lower her already inflated standards and realize she can no longer have kids. And yes, this does upset them usually - but it holds little relevance to men. I’m acquainted with several boomer women in their 60s and 70s doing scaled back versions of the same stuff the 20s-30s girls are doing. It never really ends
Sorry not buying this, if a woman keeps other men around in her life as a fall back plan, then it is blatantly obvious there is no will on her part to invest in a relationship with you. Why would any guy want to be in a relationship with someone who is not 100% committed to that relationship? How many women do you think would tolerate other women, "Orbiting" around their man? Not many I suspect, if any! So why then, should it be acceptable for a man to tolerate other men, "Orbiting" around their woman? The answer is simple, lay ground rules at the start, no other male and for you, female, interests. If a woman does not want that, then clearly, she does not want the relationship either. In the end, it will save a lot of disappointment. heart ache and even pain. Make it clear from the start, no relationship if there is any accompanying "baggage!"
why would a high value woman have a bunch of plan B men lined up anyway. it sounds to me like she's not very high value if she's ready to discard her boyfriend and just jump to another guy
My boyfriend handled this same conversation so well. Early in our relationship, we talked about our friends of the opposite gender, the history of each friendship and the boundaries we expected our significant other to maintain. He told me right then that he didn't believe in platonic relationships for the most part because, when he was single, he wouldn't have turned down an offer of a blow job from any of his single female friends. We laughed about it, but it made me think... which of my male friends thought of me in that context? And was I saying or doing anything to let them think that was EVER a possibility? I didn't make a conscious change in my behavior, but within a couple months, those friendships just faded into the background, with casual calls and texts from those men dwindling to nothing. My boyfriend didn't act paranoid, jealous or even threatened, he just communicated the reality of how single men view single women, and I adjusted my perspective... my behaviors naturally followed suit.
My ex-girlfriend had (I suppose she still has) Plan B, C, ... etc. she told me that after the break.. I am just happy that this relation is over now, and that I was able to see how the things were on time. I am not mad at her, I really learned a lot and now I just want peace... take care of you guys !!
Having the ability to walk away from someone you TRULY love, whether friend, girlfriend or wife, WITHOUT hesitation, now this is true inner power. Most men need to learn this.
Here is what I have experienced and I have heard other men say the same thing. In fact, there was a Seinfeld episode about this. What I a referring to is if you have a girlfriend or a wife, then magically other women are throwing themselves at you. They come out of the woodwork and offer themselves to you. I have had women offer very openly to become my mistress when I was married. But if you are not in a relationship, then everything craters and it is very difficult to get anyone interested at times. But I never took anyone up on these offers. I believed( and continue to believe) it to be morally wrong. And, I am opposed to the Sexual Revolution or polygamy.
I’ve destroyed myself in past breakups. And I’ve realized now more than ever that i caused myself this , with my very low self worth. Self worth is huuuge for both yourself and a relationship.
I understand this. Though they're people who are just plain simply assholes. Other than that, when you're already whole,fullfilled with yourself. Why bother with a partner? Just hang out with friends and enjoy life, spending on what you want, prioritize what you want etc.
Wow, Alexander I'm stunned by your work again and again. The fact that you and your partner's are going out on the streets, interviewing women and to get them to open up about their feminine nature and breaking it down. It is straight up gold to hear the honest opinions of women on topics like these. Sure most of us already know about this stuff but hearing it out of the mouth of a women hits you different and helps truly accepting female nature for what it is.
Through out age, there are a number of middle aged women who quote from each other "where have all the good men gone." This could be a massive reason, all the good men have got pissed off with that woman.
I've recently tried getting back into the dating scene with basically no success on dating apps. I've found your channel as of like 3 days ago and every single one of your videos that I've watched has touched upon pretty much all aspects of my dating life. I couldnt have found this channel at a better time!
@@EstrellaViajeViajero Nope, I would have backup women in any time and culture, the current one is much more difficult because back in the days women didn't have options, now they do. So if now i have 3 backups, back in 1980's let's say I would have 20.
@@jacobstheory I think you underestimate just how important family status has been in the past: as a farm laborer or as a eunuch, I doubt you'd have very many (if any) backup women. Additionally, you wouldn't necessarily be able to find 20 women of desirable age within easy traveling distance (no planes or cars yet), many of those who are would likely already be married, and everyone would probably already know you from childhood. Furthermore, their husbands may have no problem killing you if they catch you defiling their wife (unlike modern society where murder for adultery is frowned upon).
Your advice about "confronting the women" and "setting the frame" sounds great, I mean it really does, and the only problem here is that it is actually quite... dumb. See, a women will tell you whatever she thinks you want to hear from her, and "agree" to anything ask her to - as long as she thinks that it will benefit her (either directly or indirectly), or just to take you off her back. "Yah, fine, whatever you say, chefe" - but in reality ANY lesson she'd draw from it will be "I'll have to cover my tracks better now". Many years ago, back in nineties, I was a witness to a situation where one "liberated" woman was in a relationship with a certain guy, but at the same time she was messing around with his pal, and, oh, what a coincidence, a husband of her best friend (female friend, of course). But that boyfriend of her didn't like it, so he said "it's either me or him", so she "agreed" - "yeah, yeah, whatever - as you wish, as you want, fine". But then she still kept messing around with that other guy, and when the whole thing "accidentally came to light" he (that "official guy" of hers) got quite pissed and dumped her. (What a surprise, innit?) But the funniest part came when one evening after that over a beer (we all lived expats' lives back then, all staying in the same sort of mansion) she burst into some "teary outrage" over that "unfairness" that happened to her (life isn't fair, eh?) - and cried "so when I was telling him about it it was 'not good', so I stopped telling him about it, and now it turns out me not telling him was even more 'no good', so then what the eff I was supposed to do then?!" Well, it's no brainer, one may say - it was about "what you were supposed NOT to do", you silly lass, but then... erm, speaking of which - "Why WOMEN DON'T APOLOGIZE: understanding the nature of the problem", ua-cam.com/video/QnMvAZJr2NU/v-deo.html "Don't apologize" is actually quite an understatement - they NEVER even admit any wrongdoing - it is always... No, wait! - it is ALWAYS! men's fault. ("In case it doesn't look like it is, see the point number one".)
Alex...If I would be able to Support you I'd could show how much I am thankful for your Videos...you helped me a Lot. You really made my Life less miserable. So I am Not the fool anymore that get used. I am so thankful to you. You red pilled me... Thanks
@@oscarchs2239 i have big financial struggels but I know he has patreon. Someday when things get stabilize. I will Support him and help him to get big. So more men can learn from his videos
I was nodding along in agreement right up until minute ten. Your description of the solution, and warning against stupid reactions, was spot on. But then your advice was to be passive aggressive in a way that sounded even more desperately insecure and potentially-controlling than the normal explicit jealousy
I am a girl and never had a back up guy... I am very comfortable with the way I look and consider myself as a high quality woman. My last relationship was 6 years ago and I deeply loved my boyfriend, he broke up with me after 6 years together. A month later after ending our relationship he posted a picture with his new girlfriend. Obviously they were together while he was still with me. I have been single for a long time not because I lack options but because I want a high quality man besides me and haven't found the man of God I am waiting for. So most men have back ups too... that has nothing to do with the gender, it's a matter of morals and personal ethic. By the way like your videos a lot Alexander! Greetings from Costa Rica 🇨🇷
@@john-go9xy Every day I see how much more Western culture is seeping into Asia. What's even more scary is that it's so subtle that they don't even see it happening. I've been told things about "traditional" Asian culture that I know weren't traditional Asian culture, but were thought up in the West only 40-50 years ago.
@@john-go9xy I think it works because it ties into the strong drive for security that so many women have. They want to be financially secure, and corporations and the media have told them that they can't rely on their husbands but instead must work for themselves in order to have that security. But in doing so, they compete for the same jobs, driving down wages for everyone, and stop offering the very thing that makes them valuable to men - children and femininity. Then, they find themselves secure, but unhappy, alone, and without the youth needed to attract the men they once again find themselves craving.
The irony, I think, is that most men won't have a back-up woman but instead have a plan to protect their resources should the relationship fail. A man without resources, is almost always a man without a woman.
I told my ex directly that all the dating apps, numbers of orbiters etc. must be deleted if we are to date. To me it just felt so devious not to get rid of those automatically. I did not feel threatened but disrespected.
I'm not gonna be anyone's plan A or plan B, or C or D. I am not the first option, nor the last option. If I'm not the only option, I don't care about that sort of women. Relationship's require dedication and commitment, something that half the women don't have.
Because Islam mandates traditional gender roles which have worked to the benefit of both genders for centuries. Earned wisdom thrown away by the West with the concomitant catastrophic rise of loneliness and depression, and loss of community.
@@graywalkerjoin3rdparty74 nobody bown down to a rock five times a day. The kaaba is a giant room which was first built by prophet Abraham. And it is covered with gold and black textile. It's just there for directions and the rituals of the hajj.
@@kaz9242 And what's inside that room? googled it: The Kaaba is built around a sacred black stone, a meteorite that Muslims believe was placed by Abraham and Ishmael in a corner of the Kaaba, a symbol of God's covenant with Abraham and Ishmael and, by extension, with the Muslim community itself.
Alexander, I did have this situation with my ex gf, but didn't know how to react. I just ignored it. Thank you for this video, I for the first time clapped at the end....
(Re-post number 3...) So many quotes back this up. You are only her best option at the time. Only Women and Dogs are loved unconditionally, men are loved under the condition they provide. She is still at the finish line waiting for the next winner. Chivalry is dead, and women killed it, etc
@Where did I leave my shekels? It's crazy, often I can see my comments on my account yet when viewed from my friends phones my comments don't even exist.
Sheesh man, this has to be one of your best videos. I hadn't thought of it in these terms before, but when you talked about feeling bad for the orbiting guy you came close to quoting me verbatim in a conversation I once had with my Wife. I love your work. You're a beacon mate. Dead set legend.
Lesbo Lesbo These “High Quality women” don’t exist. Given the right conditions any woman will exhibit these types of female behaviour. Better to just acknowledge that they are all like that because it makes it easier to interact with them without playing yourself.
Alex I have followed and listened to many many of your videos and I must say that have always done an excellent job and given good solid advice on each and every topic. I really must say that your advice and videos are very much needed in today's world. To many of today's males we're raised and feed Blue Pills 💊 all their life and don't know how to deal with life at today's pace. Alex stay on your mission it is very much needed in today's world. Best of wishes to you.
Alexander, I'm one of the "rare" guys that had female orbiters. I was a pro baseball player and then a contractor, I've always had several women around, but I was always honest with them. Women have male "friends" because they are insecure and need perpetual validation and have to know they will never be alone, even if he's not "the one." They also feel their emotional needs outweigh the damage they may cause to any male, they will always justify their actions. Orbit at your own risk
Mate, the more I watch of your channel, the more I distrust girls. Thanks. I'm with Sonny Dey on this one, it's time to get another dog so I can experience true loyalty and know that it really loves me...
@@mattbabb. Even fat, ugly chicks have backup guys. I'm massively social and talk to different men and women almost every day. I have a way of broaching these subjects without seeming judgemental. Especially when a coupla drinks start happening. The truth is extracted.
Women don't like to be labeled or judged as you said. They keep backups around in a way that you cnt judge/blame them. "He is my good old friend" is one of the most common excuse..
Mine didn’t really had to convince her . When she saw all the women in my life she demanded I cut ties with the most attractive ones. Let’s just say her 5000 male friends on fb disappeared really fast after short negotiation.
There are plenty of backup quarterbacks out there with huge potential. What team do you want to play for? If you want to be a starter and you’re ready COOL. Find the team that’s right for you. If you’re good (DAMN good) entertain your options and find your best deal with the best team. Women can update. Men can upgrade too. Men can continuously increase their value. Women can as well. Learn how to win the game. Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.
Not all of my videos make it to UA-cam. There are new videos being posted to my Patreon all the time. My latest video is all about masturbation: www.patreon.com/posts/answering-lots-34660501
For those of you who already support my work on Patreon, please know my deep gratitude.
It's a tough cookie mister Grace. It may be true what you're saying, but it's impossible to execute. I have a love interest that firmly believes she can be friends with men. We all know that's not really true, but we'll look like assholes for trying to explain that dynamic. Stats, videos of interviews and facts be damned. And even if she admits that a lot of girls do this, it won't be her, she's the exception.
It's thirsty men's fault and it's getting worse in Europe because military age men are flooding into Europe from the middle East, Africa, 90% men!
I told a very attractive girl at work she looked tired. I was telling the truth! She did look tired. The following week I completely blanked her just giving one word answers. I'm not lowering myself anymore and I lose complete interest once I find out she has orbiters.
High quality: and where is the compelling moral value in such a realistic definition?$
I'm thinking there's no advantage.
btw at all if this video is news for you you obviously havent read the rational male by rollo tomassi. he got an entire chapter about "plate spinning"
Men are too desperate. Stop being the backup guy, don't settle for being plan B. If you aren't plan A move on.
Plan A, A = Alpha
Plan B, B = Beta
Some out here being plan I aka invisible.
Yep, don't reward bad behavior.
@@jasimsyriac1445 😁
@@dimetriwatt7334 Gotta upgrade to 5G aka a 5 figure job.
This is why women usually have a new boyfriend within a week when they breakup. She’s actually already had him as a boy “friend” for months or years.
Especially if she is very attractive.
@@10314347 By no means. Orbiters are for women as a kind of socialized good, equally distributed among all of them. It comes in their biological luggage, like the vagina.
@@10314347 I remember one of my lecturers saying a beautiful woman never belongs to one alone ^^
@@saschaketzel6624 What happens if she is married?
Derrick K men need to play the game like women. More female players than men
Being alone for 5 seconds must be hell for a woman
made me laugh
Women have a constant need for approval and adoration.
Approval because they know they only have one thing (sex) to offer a man. Adoration because they know that their looks is the only way to attract a man.
Ahahahahahahh
True man,the really true
@@jungleno. this is false.
@@thenarrator1984 it's true unless she's young. Wait until she gets into the workforce, when she has limited time to go out.
My friend thought I was her backup, when she got divorced I said no. She was shocked, just didnt trust her anymore and didnt like her screwing over her husband.
Based
👏👏👏 you are my brother.
You deserve a trophy dude
chad move
You're an idiot for having a female friend who's married in the first place bud
I was married to a woman who was kind of socially awkward and didn't have a lot of friends. She met some dude at work and was telling me about how they were becoming good friends. I trusted her 100%. I never felt threatened. I encouraged the friendship because I was glad she was making friends that weren't just my friends. And yeah, she cheated on me with him. I broke up with her immediately, moved out, and divorced her.
Men and women can't be friends my dude.. I'd say it's your fault for allowing this to happen..
@@Madzguy007 How exactly? You wanted him to police her every waking second? Sounds like it's exhausting to be you. She is an adult and made a choice...no amount of policing short of illegal actions like physically restrain her movements would keep her from cheating if she set her mind to it.
If she respected him and their relationship, it would never have happened any way.
@@MuantanamoMobile It's the dudes fault for being so naive.. True you can't police people's actions, but you can be vigilant.. In his case, he encouraged the friendship with another man and just let it be.. Unfortunately we have thousands of years of biological needs that are wired in all of us, that leads to such situations.. I have personally witnessed this countless number of times in work places between those so called super friendly coworkers.. Its happened to me as well, but my coworker was single and only wanted sex.
@@Madzguy007 Whether or not, he encouraged the friendship doesn't matter. If she was going to cheat on him it wouldn't matter - NO matter what he would do. Millions of married people day by day work with the opposite gender without cheating. She made a choice, not the guys fault...in the slightest to expect his "loving, shy" wife to respect their marriage. She is human, not a kid or robot...she made a choice.
@@MuantanamoMobile The millions who don't cheat don't make special friendship with the opposite gender at work. They act professional at work! She made her choice yes, but the environment & situation she got in led to this happening and he encouraged a situation that was highly likely going to lead to this...Adult men & women cannot be close friends...
Cardinal rule as why you need to focus on yourself so when she does leave for a backup nothing of value is being lost.
@@blablablabla542 that's just fucboi behavior. Vicious cycle.
@@blablablabla542 I do not think you understand the dangers inherent in the behavior you are suggesting. Aside from being metoo'ed by a vindictive GF, there is the possibility of pregnancy. Mistakes (even intentional ones) happen. Men are completely vulnerable in the legal environment engendered by the Duluth Model. This concept is the legal default in most States. It depicts women always as the victims, and men as always the perpetraters. Take Domestic violence. If a woman is hitting a man with a cast iron skillet (for instance) and breaks a nail doing so, the man is guilty of Abuse. That's only one example of how bad it is out there.
My man!!!
I was searching for decent intelligent comment down here, and i found it
Thank you my man for speaking the truth
Well said! Focus on personal improvement and women will come to your life
What men are taught about women is different than how women really are.
True
Yep, society has deemed it worthy to hurt men.
I guess you didn't have too many sisters
@@TheGravygun I have one, and we do not speak. She's uhhh, sick for lack of another word. :/
Men are not really taught much about women tbh
I cant count the times Ive known girls who were in long term relationships, then two weeks after they break up, have a new boyfriend. If they're good looking it might only take two or three days after the breakup, before they have another guy. I believe the term for this behavior is called, being on the rebound
Monster's Inc. yup! They always have a full magazine of bullets. Shoot one off, and another one pops up in the chamber
If a chick hits me on the rebound I kind of just assume that it's a temp job and she is going to bounce.
'On the Rebound' is a much rarer situation than is depicted. Most of the time, it is the woman that breaks off the relationship. In this case, she will have another already lined up. This is called 'Monkey Branching', where the woman sees what she perceives to be a superior choice, then pfft she is gone.
It's called hypergamy
2-3 minutes brother
if a girl says she's lonely...that means she is not getting attention from someone good looking.
facts
Yeah lol all the other dudes are completely invisible.
Then only one I knew she was lonely is 60 years old woman of my friend mom. And guess what is really desperate. If a woman is not desperate is not single.
WOW. My ex cried on my shoulder recently about this, how she missed "us having good time watching movies and hanging out". I told her there is a giant elephant in the room. She had NO clue what I was talking about.
Do you still trust women at this era now ? 😂
Being alone is a womans biggest fear. On the flipside, being alone for a man is his holy blessing.
Heavy weight comment
I'm nobody's backup. If a woman isn't reciprocating the effort I'm putting in, it's game over. I'm nobody's cheap ego trip. I'm either the person they want or I'm gone. That usually means I'm not in the game at all, but I won't hand my self-respect over to a woman in exchange for nothing but a distant possibility of her maybe eventually getting around to my spot in the line if she runs out of better options.
You are the prize
@@SisypheanSeas13 maybe someday I will be.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Every girl I attempted to talk to that didn't return the favor I completed ghosted, even if we were good friends before. I had an ex try break up but keep me as a friend because she "saw me as just a friend", she got ghosted too. I've been with my current woman for years and she shows me I'm her only choice, she has orbiters but o dealt with it just like the guys said in the video. The men have known her before me but she's with me so I have something they don't.
@@derrickrobinson7269 I keep friends even some ex. But the have no chance either way. Now I wont stop hanging out over not dating with me. But then again they are not longer any option either so it doesnt really give them attention boost
If you have a son, do make sure he understands that. It's time to break women of this crap, one man at a time.
I was a backup for a long time. Every time she broke up with a boyfriend she would start wanting to hang out with me again. She wasn't the only girl I was interested in, but she was the one I was most interested in. But I had to cut ties with her because it became clear to me that I would always be the second choice. It hurt for a long time but it was the right decision.
You’re never the only guy. Whether you’re just dating, BF/GF or Husband & Wife. Women love shopping and I’m not just talking about clothes shopping.
Captain and Tennelle had a song in the mid 1970's with the line "You better shop around".
If every man in this world stopped being a backup man, maybe then women would finally respect us. But that’ll probably never happen.
Yep, they like to go penis and wallet shopping, the bigger the better.....
@Dan Swildens keep telling yourself that
How exactly do you know you're not someone else's backup?
Rule number 1 : allways count on yourself
Rule number 2 : be the best version of yourself
Rule number 3 : socialize with others
Rule number 4 : have a passion
Rule number 5 : don't take it personally bro
@Love Yourself True words my friend!
Done the test and was a sigma. I always felt i never had a group of ppl to identify with.
@@Vivungisport bruh
@@Vivungisport lol
Also drink water and sleep 7-8 hours hum?
Rule number 6: Stay single.
The more I learn about women, the stronger my desire to distance myself from them becomes. I don't hate them, I just feel like who they are and who I am is just not compatible.
Royal there are plenty of sweet girls just looking for someone to love and to love her back. Heck there are even women who are waiting until marriage to be with a man. Become a high quality, good man and go after these women.
@@lordlogic3190 yeah! And they all live in fantasy land!
smurfvolvo you are the male equivalent of those women who say “all men are pigs” simply because they haven’t had experience with the good ones.
@@lordlogic3190 nope, not even close. Are you a woman or a virgin man?
smurfvolvo I’m a well socialised man.
So basically, we are disposable, no more than tools for attention, cheap emotions and filling the time untill she feels that she needs to settle down.
It’s much easier for her to trade in and date a new man than it is to work on problems from a current relationship. Women want their man to make them happy. They don’t always realize that happiness come from within.
Yup and that's how you should start using women too.
Nerf Lina
To the wrong type of woman yes .
She can only do this for so long though. Eventually, she will get older and she will realize that her dream man can now get someone younger than her. So eventually she just ends up signing up for a webinar on mediation lol.
I've known this for years, two breakups, knew they had a replacement and its still the most bitter pill to taste
I've experienced exactly the same. Looking back at it, they not only left me because they found someone better, they didn't leave me *until* they found someone better. Both left supposedly for reasons that were not new, yet they did not leave me earlier, they left when they had plan B ready at their doorstep.
Look at it this way, if they treat you bad and have a backup. Then they will do the same thing to the next person there with.
@@m3cvfm .Facts 💯
@@hkr667 stings like a poisonous scorpion
My ex had 3 or 4 backup guys that did things for her. She used them. My ex wanted to marrie me but u did not want to beacuse she is a narcisst and abused me so i kicked her out. 4 mounts later she had moved to another city and married one of her backup guys 😂 poor him..
Same here. But instead a narcissist she was a borderline (undiagnosed, but her symptoms screamed out with any of her actions). She had the habit of dumping all her successive partners and telling the new ones that all her exes were abusers and psychopaths.
Edit: And she also kept several backups, of whom she was always complaining about their insistence and "harassment", but who in turn were kept close by her to help her make the move, to take her by car anywhere or to take care of her cats... while she was on vacation with the "boyfriend" of the season.
@@manuelmanzanero5057 oh i feel sorry for u. I work as a nurse in a mental hospital so i reconnized that she was a narcisst after 3 mounts.. But i ignored The signs beacuse i wanted love to much..to desperate at that time. There where a lot she did not only to me but i was The only one of few that say stop to this. She had beta men that loved her so much so they gave her things, money, even did her home work from school, one beta guy or friendzone guy even have her a job that she only worked a few time and then quit. 😅 I wanted a woman. I got a girl with a Princess attitud that used Every person in her precent in some way. Even girlfriends.. So when she did not get what she wanted from me a "slave" then she got controlling and tryed to manipulate me. When that did not work she abusive and cut me badly in my arm with a knife so i have a big scar on my arm now.. Then i kicked her out. 4 mounts later she married one of this beta guys she had contact with while we where togheter (probly beacuse he was easy fooled and she only wanted to marrige) i love this chanel beacuse i see woman and love in a diffrent perspective now then for like 6 or 7 years ago. Before i thought that woman wanted love and that was enough. I was a sucker then and naiv and to "romantic" to understaind what woman really want then. A lot of woman playes that they are victim.
@@Lubbe1984 Yes, that victim playing is called "damseling". Borderlines are masters of it. All people in the cluster B of personality disorders try to lock up their successive romantic targets through love bombing, but BPD people practice a particularly harmful variant of it: they not only drown their target in praise and validation, but also they appeal to the empathy of that target by telling a victimist soap opera about their life and their ex-partners, filled with terror tales of abuse and violence, to put their target in a hero or savior mode... Only when it is too late do we end up discovering that they do not love anyone, they only reward with flattery our temporary ability to make them feel good about themselves. When they have squeezed you they get rid of you. They operate the lever, throw the spent cartridge and place the next bullet, like a Winchester rifle. And so once, twice and a thousand times. One of the worst experiences that anyone can know.
Same scenario here
@@manuelmanzanero5057 ... Excellent description. I've had a borderline girl too.
God she was perfect.
Thank God she ended it so quickly... It would have been hard to survive if I was farther in.
My ex-girlfriend tried to tell me that I needed to get used to her having lots of male friends I just laughed for about ten minutes and she couldn't figure out why, they think we're so stupid
They really do think we're stupid, and they want you to be stupid. They actually hate smart guys that know what's up.
It's evil to have a backup. It's evil to wait until someone else lines up next to you before you dump the one you are with. Narcissists.
Ive had this happen recently. I was dating a girl and she had a few male "friends". Funny thing is that she invited one of them to her place and she told me. She did it again with 2 other male "friends" and told me beforehand. I understand women will have orbiters and I really wasnt that jealous about it, but concerned about how she was entertaining it way too much. Plus she was a very sexual person. I knew it wouldnt work, so I ended it. She was very upset about this though. She did seem to like me, but I think she might have sensed that I wasnt as far in that love cycle as she was. About 2 weeks later, one of the guy conveniently asked her out, but she "didnt" know he liked him. She accepted the date. You cant make it up lol (maybe they have been getting "busy" while we were together). Maybe she was saying it to piss me off, but then and there, I knew I made the right call. A month later, i was honest and just told her that I couldnt trust her. She said she was glad Ive moved on (probably being sarcastic or trying to find out if I was still single). I said "me too". She blocked me. 😂🤣
@@dennisherman1920 Thanks dude. I have been an beta orbiter in the past. I think we all have to be honest. And being honest and too direct can hurt your cause when you are in the thick of it. But nothing wrong with being honest after all is said and done. It all comes with experience. You need to learn to be comfortable with that fact. I dont 100% agree with the advice given in the video but I understand its intent. I think the important thing is not that there are orbiters in a woman's life, its how she goes about it and entertains it thats important. A high quality woman who can recognise that she is with a high quality man would entertain it differently and a low quality woman would entertain it regardless of who she is with.There are so many moving parts (i.e. quality of all partys including the orbiters). Its a tough one. Strangely enough, one thing said in the video is that women dont often understand how men dating life is. I think we can flip that somewhat. I say this to say that I think men should start looking at the women around them as orbiters. I have a few girls who Im friends with who I know dont stand a chance with me. Im just not interested, but I certainly dont want to be rude to them. They are just not my type and not high quality enough. I think quite a lot of men do have orbiters, but dont look at them as orbiters. So I can understand how some girls feel, but dont bloody entertain it and invite these orbiter around you all the time. You're going to break their heart. Keep working on yourself and you will not need to feel the scarcity as much.
I left her at the right time. But I couldnt forget her :(
Pained a lot but never went back.
@@prashanthb6521 that's being a man. 👍
I nip it in the bud even faster than that LOL. Best to not chase skirts at all. Improve yourself to where they chase you.
Yep, men and women are too different for genuine friendship to exist. They're together because they have a common GOAL and that goal allows them to overlook the things that would ordinarily keep them from socializing together. i.e. a family and stable future.
I gave up on women. My dog really loves me...
You know western civilization is pathethic when a man says he quit women as if they are like a form of addictive substance.
@@biterness2323 you right, it's messed up you can't even be the alpha male without losing
Put a dog and a woman in the back of a car and lock it. After 15 min. open it and guess who is happy to see you ! Just pets and children love unconditionally.
Hahaha a bit sad, but i gotta say SAME
A dog won't leave you for a better owner
She's never really yours, it's just your turn.
I've posted this comment 2 times on this video and each time it has been removed now lol.
How unoriginal lol saw this comment so many times before this.
@@gogego998 Yeah, it's not original for sure. Actually, I've never had an original thought in my entire life.
She’s mine, it’s just your turn
@@mephestopholes hey cool for you,man.
This was a serious blow to my ego--as a male orbiter. I knew what I was doing for awhile, so I made some major changes to my behavior, e.g. not initiating contact with the girl at all. But hearing out loud what I had been doing for months made me feel like dirt. Got some work to do.
Don't feel bad. We're here for learning and self-improvement. I'd fallen into this role before as well about 7 years ago without really understanding the dynamic at the time. The chick was my TA from college and I met up with her for lunch a couple times while she had an out of state boyfriend who "she wasn't sure if things would work out" with. It's funny learning about these concepts on the Alexander Grace channel and being able to identify with names and labels these behavior patterns.
We've all been there
My mom only ever had one boyfriend which is my dad... My two sisters only ever had one boyfriend which are now there husbands... I' can't find any other girls like this...
Just focus on yourself and achieve your goals. High quality women will follow.
You won't find women like that now, if they are there, maybe in some remote village of a underdeveloped country.
Same. Women in our family only had one partner for life.
@@leylinfarlier889 only 1 that they told you about. Your mom & sisters are not gonna parade around their conquests. That's what men do. Women minimize & dont flaunt
@@blackgirlblue1795 lol.. we live in a very rural place here in a 3rd world country, so nice try. There are still women here who saw values in having only 1 sexual partner for life.
Women having backups would be an understatement. The difference in experiences for both genders is literally night and day!
"high quality women" aren't the ones with "back up men." If your new girlfriend has back up men, she already lacks the basic moral standards to make her compatible.
I feel like his version of "High Quality" is just women who are nice to look at, That word high quality sounds like she is not human, and above doing anything regular basic human women would do. Which of course we all know is not true What does a "high quality" woman bring to the table that other basic women don't?
@@LukaDonesnitch I assume he's in a relationship and can't admit to himself that his girlfriend has multiple backups. Wake up Kit!!
High quality women have the most back ups
@@ChristOfHer333 all women have them. The "orbiter" himself is the pathetic one in this situation because 9 times out of 10 it makes him look undesirable to the woman. If she ends up leaving u for this orbiter character its because she never liked u to begin with and in that case u are better off that it happend. High quality women are better at keeping these dudes in check though which is a positive quality. Low quality woman attract creepy stakerish orbiters that can cause conflict in your life. Thats the only difference though.
That’s complete horseshit that’s just how u wish the world to be
The fact is a woman that has male friends and back up options are simply not girlfriend/ wife material...it’s just a matter of time
Better watch out. I remember a guy telling Jodi Arias she wasn't wife material.
I've yet to meet a woman in my life who I'd consider "wife material". I used to think I did, but if I had have married any of those women my life would have been hell.
But that’s basically all of them.....
@@conorm2524 Good, this means you have high standards. Keep your standards high and one day you’ll come across a woman that meets your standards. Good luck brother!
When I was young and dumb, I got engaged. My aunt got news of that and told me to always keep my options open, because you never know what's going to happen. I thought that was terrible since I was prepared to fully commit to someone. Then, I believed that was some of the best advice I've ever heard in my life. Now with perspectives like in this video, it just adds another layer to what I've heard that day.
Did you get divorced?
@@Rolando_Cueva never got married. Didn't make it past the engagement.
One evening years ago I had my son dress up in a nice sport coat and had him wear one of my watches then took him with me to a strip club. We spent a few hours there entertaining the endless stream of strippers coming to our table looking for us to part with our wallets. On the drive home I told him " son what we just experienced was what a good looking woman experiences every time she walks into a bar"
Women may share the same planet as us but they might as well live in a different universe.
Orbiters are a secure comfort when scheisse hits the fan. It’s an attention from unworthy but when you are falling, better to have cushions than to be smashed onto concrete.
@@k.i.i.3699 thanks
@@almertje double S is same, right?
@@osse1n It is indeed. And I really laughed my ass of. That was a very good one. But to shorten it. Women can't handle the harsh reality alone.
Scheisse=shit
@@osse1n No it's not the same. It's kinda hard to explain because it's more of a pronunciation thing. Every german will understand you though regardless of ss or ß.
"Is he your back up boyfriend? Be honest"
"eh...yes?.."
"Good. I won't feel bad for dumping you, if you screw up"
I don’t think anyone with a backup partner would be honest about it. If following any question with “Be honest” would actually get you an honest answer, this world would be an easier place to live in.
@@jk-2053 good point. But my point was keeping the frame that she has to be on her toes as well, in order to make it work.
@@jk-2053 the "be honest" only works if she knows that you already know the truth + if you have set proper boundaries & repercussions for lying in your relationship she won't lie because she knows what will happen if she does. Basically if she cares and you've set proper boundaries, she won't lie. If she does, you know she never cared about you in the first place.
But you're right, for most men this won't work because the majority don't set boundaries and let women walk all over them
You have to get some women to talk to. See how jealous she'll get. Women only like equality when it favors them
Especially as men are nowhere near as jealous of others as women are
"Equality"
Humans*
So women don't like equality.
Women are strong and independent when it favors them- just as they are poor victims when it favors them.
When I married my current wife, we left chapel she texted 2 boyfriends and told them she just got married and couldn't see them. She waited till we got married so if I backed out she still had plan B and C. I about died laughing. I had a nanny watching my kids years ago. I gave her a cell phone. She was dating a guy I knew. I looked at phone bill. 5000 minutes of texting her ex husband and her 1st ex husband from 20 years earlier. Don't get to close to any woman, love them for who they are, but don't expect them to be something they can never be or that you expect.
brutal
Alexander you are mistaking one thing here, If your girlfriend has male orbiters, and accepts it to a point where she takes advantages out of it, then in no way you have the right to call that person a "high quality woman" , no chance !
If you got in a Relationship with that person, thinking she was high quality and then found out she does that, then she definitely is NOT!
You are trying to make it look like it's Something normal or natural for a woman to do that and worst, you imply they Don't acknowledge it is wrong to do it because of that fact.,
but women knows it's wrong, they know it right from the start and yet they still do it…
Just look at the girl in the interview and listen to what she says :
After she explains the reasons why someone would do that including herself :
She said at 1:04 and i quote : "And as HORRIBLE as it is, like i try to not do it" then "but you do, and you do feel better",
Sorry Alexander, but Don't try to make it look like it's a normal behavior , it's common yes, maybe natural from a biologic perspective, but in no way it should be tolerated to a point where you'd have to take so many carefull steps and almost "walk on eggs" to make your gf realise it's wrong…
I like the last paragraph
If you listened to what he said, he mentioned that HQW would have them, but she wouldn't be talking to them. They are just talking to her, and she might say whatever or not think of them like anything. The ones who take advantage and use them for validation are the LQW
ho but i listened very carefully, but just like you mentioned, if these women don't "think of them like anything", then you CAN'T call these men "backups" in the first place ! I am sorry but if a man is called a "backup", it means he has been considered as one! So in the end YES -> the girl did actually give a few thoughts about it as a potential "plan B", normal behaviour would be if the men in question were actually refered as just friends or just men and that's it!
@@CultureShockGaming What? That doesn't make any sense. If the girl didn't call him or consider him as a backup then he's just an orbiter and she needs to push him away, that was my point. The girl who said that "it's horrible but makes me feel better" isn't high quality, he never said these women were. Obviously, if they are not seen as anything they are not backups?
@@chandler3621 Dude.. first if you go back at 5:48, --> yes the pieces of advice he is giving are for men with a "high quality" woman.. so he is basically saying that these behaviors (having male orbiters, or even plan b) also apply to "HQ" women ..
Which leads to my very first comment --> what pissed me off was that line at the end : 13:21 "alexander this is kind of manipulative, you're just following a script, why not telling her the truth right away"..
And it is the main point i am trying to make ---> Men should'nt have to follow a step by step guide in order to slap the harsh truth in the face of their partner! High quality or not..
if what she is doing is bullshit, and if it is a behaviour you don't like, just call her out and that's it !
And if she can't handle the truth or keep doing it (no matter the biology or if it's common for women to do that..etc..) then why waste time and energy with that person ?
There's been a couple of women in my past who THOUGHT I was a backup plan for them. Later, when she would try to promote me to "starter," she soon realized that I no longer considered HER to be an option for ME. The way I see things is if I'm not good enough to be her first choice, then she loses out on any possibility of being involved with me. She'll move on with her life, but it's obvious that it's a shot to her ego.
I respect u for that
Have you ever asked them out and got rejected before ?
Although we men cannot relate to this phenomenon, I can picture it and to me, women who need backup are weak both emotionally and mentally. Seeking other men as cushion is avoiding facing yourself.
@thaik56 *Your comment needs to be Viral/Pinned!* (Period!!) ‼️‼️‼️‼️✨💯🎯🎯🎯💥
@2:00 "A high quality woman is never going to orbit some guy" A high quality guy is never going to orbit some girl either.
HoundSuperGrey outstanding!
The problem is almost all women consider themselves higher quality than almost all men.
@@peterg76yt yuuuuuuup and then fuccbois have to go and confirm their suspicions
True
Puts the entire video in perspective .
if all else fails: become a shaolin monk
I would go there for my entire life lol if I could
music to my ears
Already an Irish Monk
I knew it!! My ex left me in January, a week later she was with another guy and in 8 months she had more than 5 boyfriends.
I'm glad to be single, I feel more happy with myself and less insecure than when I was with her.
Great video.
I have first hand experience of this. About 6 months ago my and my ex broke up before this she wanted some sort of ''time out'' for 2 weeks. At that time window she was with one of hers family's best friend and they started dating almost soon as we broke up. To be honest I was devasted when I watched hers instagram.
It has been 6 months and I still kinda miss her even though I know I should move on... EDIT: I want to thank you for producing this type of content it really helps to understand and relate to how relationships works. Great Job!
If a chick pulls that "time out" crap, you dump her and you dump her fast.
@@enemysub9057 what's your opinion on a girlfriend going abroad for 6 months or a year, should you just say we're taking a break until your back or try maintain
Enemy Sub only if I would be smarter back then, I would have.
@@sneesus98 Is she going to Antarctica to study the penguins?
Steven Ryan For your mental health, end it. I studied abroad and the girls I met who were also studying abroad were like on an episode of ‘Girls gone wild’. They have the mentality of ‘No one will know since it’s another country 🤷🏾♂️’. Proceed with caution
This is why i don't date or get into relationships, i can never be comfortable knowing that there's always another guy as paranoia would set in.
It's almost like religion was a decent idea and made society less garbage...
You just saw this video and you now have way more knowledge in these situations.. use it to your favor and you will win.
@@-eurosplitsofficalclanchan6057 Atheism is not a religion as there is no universal atheist belief system, all atheists have different beliefs..
But yes atheism or agnosticism is definitely growing in the world.
@@savagebushranger7953 No. Religion does not solve this problem, unless you live in a theocratic society since your birth and if this is the only way of life you know. Society is changing, religious communities undergo changes along with society. If a girl in church is good-looking and has good personality and intelligence - she has backups. If a guy in church is good-looking, is high status, has a well-paying job and is not an extreme jerk - he has backups. Religion actually makes things worse by feeding outdated information on dating and relationships to young people. From what I seen growing up in there, people tend to be less honest with others and themselves.
@@r.d.6290 completely agree. Theocratic, old school culture is *exactly* what I mean. No I'm not particularly unique amongst the motley crew of western degenerates either. A hypocrite even.
As an example, less than 100 years ago, wearing something like yoga pants in public would have you pilloried, ridiculed, ostracised and made a spectacle of. Young children were raised with an element of fear, traumatised into conformity.
Sounds really harsh, but we've gone soft. The wolves rightfully should tear this house of cards down.
That first girl was super honest....awesome.
I'd smash
If you do not trust your woman, move on. Even if you do not have proof, trust your instincts. I'm married with 3 daughters, my wife already knows that if I ever feel like she cheated, it is over.
Cheaper to keepem
3 daughters... you have my condolences
Ok, but you're James Bond.
Men in relationships should never stop talking to other women. You need all the options you can get in this unfair dating world.
Alexander you just addressed one of the major issues in dating today,… It has become socially acceptable for women to have these orbiters back up guys or multiple options feminism and other women have made it OK for this… It’s almost like the female gender has lost their integrity they think they have the right to be this selfish… Great video very well put 👍🏻
Unfairvindeed, if you become entqgled in their web of intrigue, supposed conscider sitiationship they tetain the right do whatvever they like, cheat, manipulate, shame and dump you when ever they have their backup ready. Men ussualy don't have this luxery, expelled imediatly if anything displeasing has happened. Womens nature hard to hide, men are more replaceble, invisble for each other species. Life is short, women may understand thet more to live every day. Feel life to the fuul.yes that might be something men might need to vallue more, stopvwaisting time on unnecesary activities go socialize more, work on your life !
Everyday, the list grows and grows. The list called, "Reasons to not bother with women."
Your inability to keep a leash on them?
@@blacktortoise6812 It's good that your open and honest about yourself.
@@jtg753 I mean he's not wrong tho, wasn't there a time it was acceptable, lmao?
@@MazdaRX7007 I'll smoke you in my Pos Civic
@@MazdaRX7007 its almost like civilization only works when women are highly regulated and controlled otherwise they ruin everything and society collapses... Some smart guy wrote a book on this. Joseph Daniel Unwin was his name. Book was called Sex and Culture.
Doesn't bother me. I just stay single and don't play the game. No stress, no worries
hey brother same here. same here. Ive gotten to the point where i kind of like rejecting women now
Hahaha it makes life so much easier to just having a side chick and not a gf.
Englishsea24 me too. I’ve sacrificed enough for past relationships. It’s better to be single and have your hobbies and pursue your dreams. Women want you to provide security and happiness for them, not achieve it on their own. And if you don’t there is always a dude who will make them think they will.
@Derrick K Thats the best way. Love what you do, learn as much as you can, do your best, be your own person and don't budge. Women will come and go but when you're the strongest you can be, the ones that don't matter really won't. Ive never got guys who chase women, work menial jobs and whos life goal is to have kids. Its just a pointless and miserable existance, and if you are that type and just have resources, you're just gonna be used
Me to. My friend was with his girl for 7 years then out of the blue she broke up with him. Why? She said she wasnt attract ed to him anymore next day she went out with his bestfriend. All that time wasted he couldve achieved more!
I had a coworker that had her plan A, he was from a rich family going to Princeton University. But seemed like he didn't pay her much attention and was a guy that worked on himself alot not giving her much attention. I came along and was plan b I guess with her flirting and touching but I hate this gynocentric society, so I showed interest back got her fantasizing and riled up.. Then I ignored completely, she hates my guts, but I did it to show these entitled princesses there's a new kind of man born to destroy their overprivileged feminist world!
That's pretty unattractive when women do that.
I am Greek.And I find very enlightning that his name Alexander (Alexandros in Gree means the one that can deflect or reflect men even further maybe defeat men) but he is actually a Philandros ( the one that cares for men like they where his friends he is compasionate with them and does everything to help them.I just find this irony very amusing and cultural in rare kind of way.Keep going Alexander.
Alexander 'Philandros' Grace
Also Greek here, I thought Alexander (and also Alexandra, the female equivalent) meant “defender of men” or “protector of men”. In that case his name wouldn’t be a contradiction haha
@@sillygoober698 Όχι αδελφέ μου, το αλεξί- σαν πρόθεμα δηλώνη απώθηση ή και απομάκρυνση κυρίως
I would recommend reading the book Getting More by Stuart Diamond. He's a well-known professor from UPenn's Wharton School. Many of the same strategies Alexander talks about in this video are also talked about in great detail in his book. Remember, be as innocent as a dove, but as shrewd as a viper. Also, gents, don't sell a brother out for a woman. It's not worth it!
Thanks for this recommendation my man, will go and give it a read. Also the quote you made about "be as innocent as a dove but as shrewd as a viper"
Is this from the 48laws of power?
@@dimetriwatt7334 Thanks for the comment! Actually, I'm paraphrasing the Bible. It's advice Jesus gives to his followers. I believe it's Matthew 10:16 if I'm not mistaken. 48 Laws of Power is indeed an interesting read, btw!
@@mlorthio Jesus was indeed a wise man. I agree with Alexander here, stealth is a much better method to use with women. demonstrate never explicate.
What does that mean? Does that mean to be a good person but if someone attacks you, you should fight back?
Women are like clothes, brothers are like your hands and feet.
This back-up strategy works when she's at her peak sexual market value. Once she hits the wall, it's over.
Great comment
Even the ones that hit the wall still getting smashed by the back up crew
The wall is mostly a cope. It only means she has to slightly lower her already inflated standards and realize she can no longer have kids.
And yes, this does upset them usually - but it holds little relevance to men. I’m acquainted with several boomer women in their 60s and 70s doing scaled back versions of the same stuff the 20s-30s girls are doing. It never really ends
😂😂😂😂@@bashiruddinahmad408
"I'd rather be single than be with somebody who's not high quality."
Now you know why I've been single for 2 decades.
Sad truth is there is no suck thing as high quality woman unless you create that high quality woman out of a woman with your masculinity
Sorry not buying this, if a woman keeps other men around in her life as a fall back plan, then it is blatantly obvious there is no will on her part to invest in a relationship with you. Why would any guy want to be in a relationship with someone who is not 100% committed to that relationship? How many women do you think would tolerate other women, "Orbiting" around their man? Not many I suspect, if any! So why then, should it be acceptable for a man to tolerate other men, "Orbiting" around their woman? The answer is simple, lay ground rules at the start, no other male and for you, female, interests. If a woman does not want that, then clearly, she does not want the relationship either. In the end, it will save a lot of disappointment. heart ache and even pain. Make it clear from the start, no relationship if there is any accompanying "baggage!"
why would a high value woman have a bunch of plan B men lined up anyway. it sounds to me like she's not very high value if she's ready to discard her boyfriend and just jump to another guy
My boyfriend handled this same conversation so well. Early in our relationship, we talked about our friends of the opposite gender, the history of each friendship and the boundaries we expected our significant other to maintain. He told me right then that he didn't believe in platonic relationships for the most part because, when he was single, he wouldn't have turned down an offer of a blow job from any of his single female friends. We laughed about it, but it made me think... which of my male friends thought of me in that context? And was I saying or doing anything to let them think that was EVER a possibility? I didn't make a conscious change in my behavior, but within a couple months, those friendships just faded into the background, with casual calls and texts from those men dwindling to nothing. My boyfriend didn't act paranoid, jealous or even threatened, he just communicated the reality of how single men view single women, and I adjusted my perspective... my behaviors naturally followed suit.
You're basically just getting tamed by simpy guys. Don't let people subjugate you with a bunch of moral arguments that serve only themselves.
@@blacktortoise6812 Can you explain further?
@@blacktortoise6812 Not really. This is more about you saying its cool flirting around with people. Dont be so 1990s
All girls are loyal until tested. Period !
The_ Pro_Gamer indeed! All women are single.
My ex-girlfriend had (I suppose she still has) Plan B, C, ... etc. she told me that after the break.. I am just happy that this relation is over now, and that I was able to see how the things were on time. I am not mad at her, I really learned a lot and now I just want peace... take care of you guys !!
Having the ability to walk away from someone you TRULY love, whether friend, girlfriend or wife, WITHOUT hesitation, now this is true inner power. Most men need to learn this.
Here is what I have experienced and I have heard other men say the same thing. In fact, there was a Seinfeld episode about this. What I a referring to is if you have a girlfriend or a wife, then magically other women are throwing themselves at you. They come out of the woodwork and offer themselves to you. I have had women offer very openly to become my mistress when I was married. But if you are not in a relationship, then everything craters and it is very difficult to get anyone interested at times.
But I never took anyone up on these offers. I believed( and continue to believe) it to be morally wrong. And, I am opposed to the Sexual Revolution or polygamy.
I’ve destroyed myself in past breakups. And I’ve realized now more than ever that i caused myself this , with my very low self worth. Self worth is huuuge for both yourself and a relationship.
I understand this. Though they're people who are just plain simply assholes. Other than that, when you're already whole,fullfilled with yourself. Why bother with a partner? Just hang out with friends and enjoy life, spending on what you want, prioritize what you want etc.
Being on videos like this definitely won't help.
This is 1000% true.
Wow, Alexander I'm stunned by your work again and again. The fact that you and your partner's are going out on the streets, interviewing women and to get them to open up about their feminine nature and breaking it down. It is straight up gold to hear the honest opinions of women on topics like these. Sure most of us already know about this stuff but hearing it out of the mouth of a women hits you different and helps truly accepting female nature for what it is.
Through out age, there are a number of middle aged women who quote from each other "where have all the good men gone." This could be a massive reason, all the good men have got pissed off with that woman.
I've recently tried getting back into the dating scene with basically no success on dating apps. I've found your channel as of like 3 days ago and every single one of your videos that I've watched has touched upon pretty much all aspects of my dating life. I couldnt have found this channel at a better time!
They have backup men and I have backup women, I am fighting current culture with the same weapon !
If you're desirable enough to have backup women, you don't need to fight the current culture; it already benefits you.
@@EstrellaViajeViajero Nope, I would have backup women in any time and culture, the current one is much more difficult because back in the days women didn't have options, now they do. So if now i have 3 backups, back in 1980's let's say I would have 20.
@@jacobstheory the point is, you have backups. Many guys don't. Idk if that's a good thing or bad thing though.
@@jacobstheory I think you underestimate just how important family status has been in the past: as a farm laborer or as a eunuch, I doubt you'd have very many (if any) backup women. Additionally, you wouldn't necessarily be able to find 20 women of desirable age within easy traveling distance (no planes or cars yet), many of those who are would likely already be married, and everyone would probably already know you from childhood. Furthermore, their husbands may have no problem killing you if they catch you defiling their wife (unlike modern society where murder for adultery is frowned upon).
Smart man woman like bit hate it when they have other competition
If a man wants to experience true unconditional love and loyalty he should get a dog. I’m not taking any chances...I have TWO dogs!
Wow. So a women dont choose you, it's just your turn. Wow. This is so humiliate for men.
It's absolute garbage, shame on them. Needs to be fixed.
Most of the time it’s always the guy she asked us not to worry about. He’s just a friend she said .
Your advice about "confronting the women" and "setting the frame" sounds great, I mean it really does, and the only problem here is that it is actually quite... dumb.
See, a women will tell you whatever she thinks you want to hear from her, and "agree" to anything ask her to - as long as she thinks that it will benefit her (either directly or indirectly), or just to take you off her back. "Yah, fine, whatever you say, chefe" - but in reality ANY lesson she'd draw from it will be "I'll have to cover my tracks better now".
Many years ago, back in nineties, I was a witness to a situation where one "liberated" woman was in a relationship with a certain guy, but at the same time she was messing around with his pal, and, oh, what a coincidence, a husband of her best friend (female friend, of course).
But that boyfriend of her didn't like it, so he said "it's either me or him", so she "agreed" - "yeah, yeah, whatever - as you wish, as you want, fine".
But then she still kept messing around with that other guy, and when the whole thing "accidentally came to light" he (that "official guy" of hers) got quite pissed and dumped her. (What a surprise, innit?)
But the funniest part came when one evening after that over a beer (we all lived expats' lives back then, all staying in the same sort of mansion) she burst into some "teary outrage" over that "unfairness" that happened to her (life isn't fair, eh?) - and cried "so when I was telling him about it it was 'not good', so I stopped telling him about it, and now it turns out me not telling him was even more 'no good', so then what the eff I was supposed to do then?!"
Well, it's no brainer, one may say - it was about "what you were supposed NOT to do", you silly lass, but then... erm, speaking of which - "Why WOMEN DON'T APOLOGIZE: understanding the nature of the problem", ua-cam.com/video/QnMvAZJr2NU/v-deo.html
"Don't apologize" is actually quite an understatement - they NEVER even admit any wrongdoing - it is always... No, wait! - it is ALWAYS! men's fault. ("In case it doesn't look like it is, see the point number one".)
Alex...If I would be able to Support you I'd could show how much I am thankful for your Videos...you helped me a Lot. You really made my Life less miserable. So I am Not the fool anymore that get used. I am so thankful to you. You red pilled me...
Thanks
He has a patreon account
@@oscarchs2239 i have big financial struggels but I know he has patreon. Someday when things get stabilize. I will Support him and help him to get big. So more men can learn from his videos
Great advice! And also a comedian name Patrice O’Neal once said when dating a woman that the man should always be not afraid to take a L.
She's not yours, it's just your turn
So true. Had a coworker once tell me, “all I have to do is snap my fingers to get some.”
I was nodding along in agreement right up until minute ten. Your description of the solution, and warning against stupid reactions, was spot on.
But then your advice was to be passive aggressive in a way that sounded even more desperately insecure and potentially-controlling than the normal explicit jealousy
I am a girl and never had a back up guy... I am very comfortable with the way I look and consider myself as a high quality woman. My last relationship was 6 years ago and I deeply loved my boyfriend, he broke up with me after 6 years together. A month later after ending our relationship he posted a picture with his new girlfriend. Obviously they were together while he was still with me.
I have been single for a long time not because I lack options but because I want a high quality man besides me and haven't found the man of God I am waiting for.
So most men have back ups too... that has nothing to do with the gender, it's a matter of morals and personal ethic.
By the way like your videos a lot Alexander! Greetings from Costa Rica 🇨🇷
And my name is Gandalf the grey.
@@smurfvolvo 😂😂😂 Hi Gandalf the grey! Hope you are doing fine...
Yes that is the type of girl im looking for. You gave me hope :3
@@alexanderfam9900 these types of girls are 1 in a million. Lol.
Wonem like you are like aliens to men. You hear about them, you read about them but probably never meet one.
In China, it is quite normal for men to forbid their girlfriends from talking with male friends. It's expected culturally.
@@john-go9xy Every day I see how much more Western culture is seeping into Asia. What's even more scary is that it's so subtle that they don't even see it happening. I've been told things about "traditional" Asian culture that I know weren't traditional Asian culture, but were thought up in the West only 40-50 years ago.
@@john-go9xy I think it works because it ties into the strong drive for security that so many women have. They want to be financially secure, and corporations and the media have told them that they can't rely on their husbands but instead must work for themselves in order to have that security. But in doing so, they compete for the same jobs, driving down wages for everyone, and stop offering the very thing that makes them valuable to men - children and femininity. Then, they find themselves secure, but unhappy, alone, and without the youth needed to attract the men they once again find themselves craving.
@@john-go9xy I agree; I think there will be a reversal. But, how much damage will be done in the process, and how long will it last?
The irony, I think, is that most men won't have a back-up woman but instead have a plan to protect their resources should the relationship fail. A man without resources, is almost always a man without a woman.
I told my ex directly that all the dating apps, numbers of orbiters etc. must be deleted if we are to date. To me it just felt so devious not to get rid of those automatically. I did not feel threatened but disrespected.
I'm not gonna be anyone's plan A or plan B, or C or D. I am not the first option, nor the last option. If I'm not the only option, I don't care about that sort of women. Relationship's require dedication and commitment, something that half the women don't have.
Sometimes I envy Muslims for their lifestyle...
Religion exists for a good reason. Women don't want their souls to burn in hell for eternity, that would mess up their makeup.
Because Islam mandates traditional gender roles which have worked to the benefit of both genders for centuries. Earned wisdom thrown away by the West with the concomitant catastrophic rise of loneliness and depression, and loss of community.
Yeah, but bowing down to a rock 5 times a day ...
@@graywalkerjoin3rdparty74 nobody bown down to a rock five times a day. The kaaba is a giant room which was first built by prophet Abraham. And it is covered with gold and black textile. It's just there for directions and the rituals of the hajj.
@@kaz9242 And what's inside that room?
googled it:
The Kaaba is built around a sacred black stone, a meteorite that Muslims believe was placed by Abraham and Ishmael in a corner of the Kaaba, a symbol of God's covenant with Abraham and Ishmael and, by extension, with the Muslim community itself.
Alexander, I did have this situation with my ex gf, but didn't know how to react. I just ignored it. Thank you for this video, I for the first time clapped at the end....
(Re-post number 3...)
So many quotes back this up.
You are only her best option at the time.
Only Women and Dogs are loved unconditionally, men are loved under the condition they provide.
She is still at the finish line waiting for the next winner.
Chivalry is dead, and women killed it, etc
@Where did I leave my shekels? It's crazy, often I can see my comments on my account yet when viewed from my friends phones my comments don't even exist.
Sheesh man, this has to be one of your best videos. I hadn't thought of it in these terms before, but when you talked about feeling bad for the orbiting guy you came close to quoting me verbatim in a conversation I once had with my Wife. I love your work. You're a beacon mate. Dead set legend.
It's the worst when you find out and she's the last person you'd thought would do that...
you keep talking about these "high quality women" like theyre unicorns ur putting ur hopes way too high or up when you describe them.
Any woman can be high quality, it's not just physical. It's morals, goals, and personality.
@@nomomozarella2042 that is precisely my point lmfao... youre asking for almost perfect women
Lesbo Lesbo
He hardly ever describes these “high quality women”. I’m starting to doubt their existence.
ua-cam.com/video/DNL-z-SVu0c/v-deo.html
Him describing a high quality woman
Lesbo Lesbo These “High Quality women” don’t exist. Given the right conditions any woman will exhibit these types of female behaviour. Better to just acknowledge that they are all like that because it makes it easier to interact with them without playing yourself.
Oops!
This video hurts. A lot.
Thank God I don't have a girlfriend.
😂
im going on an Alexander Grace binge. the advice you give is absolutely ace. :)
Alex I have followed and listened to many many of your videos and I must say that have always done an excellent job and given good solid advice on each and every topic. I really must say that your advice and videos are very much needed in today's world. To many of today's males we're raised and feed Blue Pills 💊 all their life and don't know how to deal with life at today's pace. Alex stay on your mission it is very much needed in today's world. Best of wishes to you.
Alexander, I'm one of the "rare" guys that had female orbiters. I was a pro baseball player and then a contractor, I've always had several women around, but I was always honest with them.
Women have male "friends" because they are insecure and need perpetual validation and have to know they will never be alone, even if he's not "the one." They also feel their emotional needs outweigh the damage they may cause to any male, they will always justify their actions.
Orbit at your own risk
This makes me feel less guilty about my side chicks...
Mate, the more I watch of your channel, the more I distrust girls. Thanks. I'm with Sonny Dey on this one, it's time to get another dog so I can experience true loyalty and know that it really loves me...
same, it's sad
Not all women are the same. Neither are all men. Be the exception and look for the exception. Hard work indeed. But it’s the only way
Especially in the age of social media and tinder and the lack of society pressure to stay married.
Matt Babb dude, every woman is the same.
@@mattbabb. Even fat, ugly chicks have backup guys. I'm massively social and talk to different men and women almost every day. I have a way of broaching these subjects without seeming judgemental. Especially when a coupla drinks start happening. The truth is extracted.
"It's just ludicrous" enough said🤣
Women don't like to be labeled or judged as you said. They keep backups around in a way that you cnt judge/blame them. "He is my good old friend" is one of the most common excuse..
My friend of 7 years told me she's had feelings for me the whole time. She's married.
We're no longer friends.
I think it is very good that you are starting to warn men about female nature/experience being very different from men's.
Mine didn’t really had to convince her . When she saw all the women in my life she demanded I cut ties with the most attractive ones. Let’s just say her 5000 male friends on fb disappeared really fast after short negotiation.
There are plenty of backup quarterbacks out there with huge potential.
What team do you want to play for? If you want to be a starter and you’re ready COOL.
Find the team that’s right for you. If you’re good (DAMN good) entertain your options and find your best deal with the best team.
Women can update. Men can upgrade too. Men can continuously increase their value. Women can as well.
Learn how to win the game. Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.
The problem is that backups aren't there for friendship, they're there for hookups. This is one way women rack up a body count.