mental health update // Dual ADHD Relationship?!
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- Hey friends,
Here is a bit of a mental health update, discussing some things we've discovered over the past months/year.
We discuss what symptoms we noticed, how we were diagnosed, insights from our psychiatrist and what ADHD/ADD really is and what how being a dual ADHD couple affects our relationship.
We were hesitant about publishing this video, but we hope that a lot of you might find it helpful and insightful - especially in women, a lot of these disorders are misdiagnosed or simply ignored.
Let us know if you'd like some more videos about this!
Love,
A + L - Розваги
Hey friends! We were unsure if we should do this video, as the internet can be not the kindest place and it's something very personal. But since we've always strived for authenticity, we felt like this was the right thing to do. Many women get diagnosed much later than men, some never do, so we thought it might be helpful if we shared our experiences - curious to hear your own as well, and if you'd like to hear more about this in future videos.
Thank you to all the lovely subscribers who have been nothing but supportive for so long!
🧡💛
Thanks for your candid ways and honesty. You both are wonderful human beings. Much love to both, I love how genuine you are as a couple ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤩
I‘d love to see a video about advice you have for adhd couples! my partner is most certainly also adhd, as I am, and sometimes we fight over the smallest things (rejection sensitivity helloooo) and maybe you have figured out some stuff that we haven’t yet and I‘d love to hear about it ♥️
Yessss yesss would love to see this as well
omg, mentally I feel like the child of you two :D i am a combination of the things you mentioned - a bit of that and a bit of the other one. Forgetful? Yes. Hyperfocus and then lack of motivation? Hell yeah. Procrastination? Ofc. Sensitivity to noises? Aaaargh. Fidgeting and leg movements? Sure. It is refreshing to see how many of us struggle with the same things. And that's perfectly okay!
So you are combined ADHD. And parts of what you mentioned sounds more similar to ASD yet you know yourself best. Lilian describes parts of what are somewhat considered more ASD yet ADHD can present that way as well..
The very important point mentioned at the beginning is: you are not alone, others feel the same way! It's terrible how many people live miserable lives, or even take their own lives, because they think: no one else has these problems, everyone else's life is perfect. This state of mind should be avoided at all costs.
I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 9 and I’m 23 now. Luckily my school gave me classes to teach me how to live wi the adhd and it was very helpful. Exercise, agendas, lists for memorizations and a good support system will get you far. Be gentle with yourself always.
Thanks for sharing this! I am actually on the way to getting diagnosed with both ADHD and autism, hopefully this year, I can definetely relate to quite a few things. And I'd be interested in a video talking about how you've handled it as a couple the fact that you both have ADHD, if that's something you want to talk about on here.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I appreciate your videos all the more now, after hearing how difficult it can be to make them at times! As a woman who was finally clinically diagnosed in my 40s as being on the autism spectrum, I understand so many things (both catastrophic and beautiful) that have happened throughout my lifetime & feel prepared for how best to move forward. I can now understand and accept (and even enjoy) my mental and physical traits without wondering what on earth is "wrong" with me. I tell myself that it's ok to be different, because I AM different. I hope your ADHD diagnoses do the same for you, helping to give you the self-acceptance you deserve, and to reinforce the mutual understanding and support for each other that you've always had.
Oh my, yes. I self-diagnosed during corona while locked up in my room. I went on a 12-hour-straight, no eating no peeing, research and by the end of the day I was like : | ok... I'm 99% sure I have this. And then like, wait, I'm not "normal"? It hit me like a real epiphany moment and I couldn't stop crying from a mix of sadness, happiness and rage.
I'm both inattentive and hyperactive depending on the day and my energy levels. I don't take meds but I wish I could have during my burn out/depression period, because I swear it make it 4 times as difficult to handle!
I'm better now but still trying to figure out ways to deal with it by myself. Organisation wise I'm doing quite ok I think, but the emotional part... don't get me started. I have a german partner and them being "colder" than I'm used to triggers me in all the worst possible ways making me second guess our whole relationship and their love for me at least once a month. A tiny rejection, real o imagined, hurts like a fucking knife in the gut. Also, the paradox between: I need someone to tell me what to do / I hate it when people tell me what to do, is a mother fucker 😂
Having a partner that understand this and is willing to do an extra effort is really an essential part for me.
Anyways, I could talk about this for hours like Lilian said.
PS: I heard you used the term Asperger's and I've heard that people of the spectrum don't like to use this term anymore. But I'm not an expert so maybe ask them :)
Thank you for this video!
As a lesbian who struggles a lot with ADHD, I'm glad you two made this video and were able to find some help. I'm still working on that, but it's a big step.
Loved this video! I’m grateful that we have creators like both of you who are willing to share their mental health journeys in this platform. There were so many points made that I could relate to and it’s a nice feeling to have - so thank you!
Thanks for sharing. Happy to see more of the thopic and you two. :)
Thank you for talking about this ,I found this very helpful especially when mental health talks are often avoided or seen as taboo
Most of symptoms are part of my life since my first memories 2-3 years old. It doesn't bother me anymore, for example I just start many times to get more organized, i fail, but i keep trying again and again until i find my style of being organized. Maybe I am lucky i never had a low self-esteem .
I hope you guys don't get into the trap of finding medication for this issues, I don't believe it can be fixed, just preventing triggers and self improvement.
Imagine you just have to hunt, collect fruits, and feed your kids, basically survive, all day long, not many choices, will you still have this mental issues?
thank you for sharing! I think it's very valuable to talk about this. Also I think you mentioned a really important part that it's important whether it has an impact on your life or not.
Thank you for being so transparent! I would love to know more about how you deal with the whole topic in your daily life, how you „compromise“ over the things when both of your realities are different and valid…
Only if you feel good about sharing more of course! :) wish you both much energy and patience for this journey ❤
Thanks for opening up with us, it does help❤💗
This helped me a lot. Thanks! ❤
Thank you for sharing, girls!
thank you guys for such honesty. indeed you are not alone with this. i saw a lot of myself and my partner in a past relationship. it is very likely that abandoning yourselves to the ''unconditional love for each other'' concept might be a great option. See what Sadhguru has to say about it, you would be surprised, transformed and refreshed. For me it was a revelation and never had to seek medication after. with love from 🇨🇦💕☀💚🦋🦋
Hah! I knew I liked you for a reason😁 every creator I like is coming out as neurodivergent lately, welcome to the club ❤
I wish you all good luck and care. Please consider this idea: moving as much as you do might contribute to anxiety. Whenever the body is faced with more than it can handle, anxiety can arise.
Lilian, I think you should seriously consider forgoing that next trip or outing, and spending the money on the therapy and drugs if prescribed. Knowing somethings wrong and being able to fix it are two different things. Is the concern about spending the money, or changing, as that can be a lot to deal with, even if for the better.
Thank you for sharing this! I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism a few years ago and it has been so helpful to understand how my brain works instead of blaming myself for finding things a lot harder than others. Lilian, for me I had my ADHD diagnosis first but still felt like something was missing and it wasn’t until I did a lot of research into what autism in women looks like that I realised I’m autistic too and this really was a big “aha” moment for me 😅 so it’s worth looking into if you relate to some of the signs - I’ve found that people with adhd and autism never quite relate to just autistic people or just people with adhd but as soon as you find someone who has both we’re all so similar! And sometimes diagnosis isn’t required if it’s not significantly impacting your life, it’s just good to know about yourself. It can be really hard but being neurodivergent makes us think differently and this is why so many creative people are neurodivergent (soo many UA-camrs are!) ❤
Hi Liliana, thank you for sharing this is exactly what I have !!!! Now I know!
I’m 23 years old, I was diagnosed last year and now I take Ritalin and Atomoxetine every morning. The fact that I’m the inattentive type had me feeling like it was constantly overlooked. Just did an autism assessment last week! I get my results this Friday.
Good luck 🍀 sending love
Hi! I can relate to some of what you said. I need order in my spaces to be able to focus on anything. My brain doesn't seem to stop thinking at Random things all at once energy is up then is down sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me I blame myself for not being a hard worker or having goals to achieve etc. I sleep with the TV on because silence bothers me, but sometimes I wake up to the sound of a phone ringing in another room (yes... like I said, a cellphone from another room, the TV doesn't wake me up).
I've been following this account for years. It makes me sad to see Alexis sad. She doesn't look the same in her latest videos. I hope everything is okay, and if not, that it gets better soon. Sending you all good vibes!
Tha no you for posting this . I have a similar dynamic with my girlfriend. We’ve both gotten value from your sharing 🙏🏻
Oh yes I had it for decades and didn’t know it. I just thought I was a very energetic person with lots of impressive interests lol. My friends kept saying I don’t know how you manage to be involved in so many things and on the go all the time. I had so many brilliant ideas and inventions in mind, but guess what? Years and years later they are all becoming invented lol. I went to see a therapist for grief and loss over something else that affected me at that time. Through that she said I have ADD. But guess what? Once I found out about it and was aware and as I got older, it kinda toned down and at this point I don’t give a crap anymore. It is what it is. I have OCD too and I don’t mind it at all. I think it’s cool. I know how many minutes, steps, items, and all kinds of other cool things I like about it. Oh yes the wrapper sounds! Yes eating noises, so annoying. Going to read a book in the park is out. If I see or hear something move, the book is out lol. Lots of sensitives to many of the things Lillian described too. Ain’t life great 😃
Thanks for sharing!!
I’m autistic (my support level fluctuates between low and medium) and my gf is neurotypical, she gives me a lot of support. Sometimes I get so scared of being a lot for her because of my support needs, but she is absolutely perfect and calms me down everytime.
I would love to see more data on the intersection of queerness + neurodiversity! I’m bisexual and gender-fluid, and have an ADHD diagnosis. Every single queer person in my life is also ADHD, Autistic, or both.
thankyou for making this video!
Do share more!
My partner has ADHD and I struggle with anxiety and PMDD. We’ve hit a hurdle in our relationship and I am unsure on how we should processed, and to be honest, I don’t know if we will be “proceeding” together anymore. Our mental health has been challenging due to external /individual life circumstances. Idk if we’re meeting each others needs due to being individually overwhelmed 😖 I’m hoping we make it out of this hurdle together. It’s not looking promising atm.
Thank you for sharing
Thanks for this informative video . This is such a common thing i have seen around in my family and friends, was not aware this is called ADHD😮😅
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I really liked this! ❤
Could it be possible these traits have something to do with our childhood in which we were living in a world without validation and safety about queerness? Sometimes I wonder about that.
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I got my ADHD/Autism diagnosis a few weeks ago at age 34 and even with knowing it hasn't changed much aside no longer wondering if I am those things. Even before my diagnosis I was already wearing earplugs/headphones to lower noise around me and my diet was pretty limited because of textures, I'm still doing the same things as before. I totally get the thing about getting interrupted and getting kinda mad/annoyed at the other person, I just feel bad because it's not their fault and sometimes I am too harsh about expressing my frustration to them D: but I don't like to be the type of person to blame their autism for that since I know I can hold back and be nicer about it but yes those moments suck.
I don't think "everyone" is ADHD or Autistic now, I think it's more that more people are finding out later in life or they were just not assessed as a child because they're AFAB or were very good academically so they were passed over.
I think it's nice to make a video about this and well I hope you know that self-identifying is valid especially when the system is awful about assessing adults and it's not an easy appointment to make. My own assessment was in three parts where the second part was a 5 hour 1-on-1 session with someone that was testing me in many different categories. I was lucky enough to have it covered by my insurance since it was a neuropsych evaluation rather than just visiting a psychologist. Thank you for this very relatable video
I am autistic as well and know a lot about autism and adhd and have watched you for a long while. I can see adhd traits in Alexis, but I don’t see full blown neurodivergency in Lilian. Maybe autistic traits but that is it.
Curious about, now that you have the diagnosis, what does that change in your life?
i got my adhd diagnosis this monday too
Bonjour les filles filles toujours aussis sympa vos vidéos je suis vos reportages très les filles amitié cincere bs❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
😎😃😊😜😍😘💖🌹
I'm 22 years old, I love older women 😩💋
Hi Lillian and Alex,
Glad you posted again. I am a very lonely person so I like to watch your videos. 🩷 they cheer me up
I feel similarly because I’ve always felt “different” but as you said it feels weird to go to a professional for it because “everyone has autism adhd whatever nowadays”
Wish you both luck on your mental health journey⭐️