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The 5 Biggest Red Flags of the Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 8 кві 2024
- #narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor
HG Tudor explains the five biggest red flags the narcissist displays when ensnaring somebody. Get informed and inform others.
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Narcissists are suffocating. I would never allow that sort of behaviour in my life again.
Me either! After getting away I had nightmares and PTSD.
Yes me too
Amen to that !!!!!!!
Certainly learned my lesson.....
@@missta1820 me too n many others the thought now with being someone like that is nauseating when I think back, I can’t believe that I allowed those things
When I was ensnared by the narc I was an easy target because I was feeling lonely.
I had just come back from almost 2 years abroad, had moved to a new place and job away from family and friends.
He was filling a void. Moving fast. I was hooked pretty fast.
After 10 years, 2 kids and horrendous abuse I got away.
It changed me forever.
Would have been great if I had known about red flags 30 years ago … 😂
Right
I regret my ignorance every day!
Same with me… I was feeling lonely and depressed
We probably know his name
The worst one is the covert!
1. Monopolisation of time
2. Changing you
3. Excessive flattery
4. Fast forwarding
5. Lots of surprises
Thank you💛😍
@@NatzTalk
Thank you, lovely person.
Yes what damn horror do I have to endure next ?
This is very straight forward advice that everyone needs to look out for. If it feels too much too soon, look at it objectively.
Right. If it feels too much, it definitely is.
"She's already annoying the hell out of you now with her incessent texting and wierd offers to help you with things you never asked for. Imagine how annoying and draining that'll get once she's got her foot in the door. Sounds like she's a complete nut job to me.." said my best mate to me while I was in the "golden period" with a good looking, funny and charismatic woman. My best mate was the first person to mention the word "narcessist" to me, thus sending me down the rabbit hole and probably saving my life... Years later by sheer coincidence I met someone who knew her ex husband who I was told was a broken man who never got to see his daughter. Thanks to my best mate I dodged that bullet. Narcs really are rubbish and the bain of humanity.
My friend blocked me on WhatsApp because I pointed out that her long term partner was keeping everyone in the house with his threats of suicide and manipulation so basically he sits playing his computer all day while his kid doesn't get to go anywhere or do anything and my friend doesn't see friends or family etc but I'm the asshole 🙄
My ex narc did literally all of these 😂.. I did question him during the love bombing phase saying that he was going too fast, and then he said he’s hurt as feels like I was questioning his values 🙄 he thought that once his mask drops (after 3 months) and started the devaluing process (triggered by me trying to put up boundaries with him as he was disrespecting me) that I would stay, as his lovebombing game I must admit is top notch and he thought I was emotionally hooked.. little did he know that I refuse to tolerate disrespect, and I went no contact on that clown 🙄
@@thaleianienna8215 well done on escaping!!
The ones who claim "it hurts our relationship when you go for take away food, as don't you know what type of men are in fast food restaurants: they'll come onto you, you're not protecting our relationship"
[Despite the fact you haven't eaten for 12 hours, and he dropped you somewhere it takes 2 hours to get home from.... But he thinks you'll run off with some guy, whilst waiting for your order of large fries]
.... It's not angry control, it's a pathetic control of "poor me, I've been so hurt, and you attending to your basic bodily needs for food, hurts our relationship, as men might look at you!".....
......... It goes against all the common literature examples of what happens in coercive control: as the literature only focuses on the heated fury types, not the pathetic manipulation types..... So we fall for it all over again.
🫂🫂 Glad you escaped!!
Don't listen to a lot of these "pick up artists", and dating gurus. They are basically teaching men narcissistic moves, to try and manipulate a woman into liking them. Serious mature people don't play silly games of cat and mouse.
Sounds like Jake in this story went to such a guru, who told him, "If you keep your distance, she'll be more interested." BS. We need to learn to distinguish between obnoxious narcissistic excesses and sincere interest. I have an advanced degree, and none if the narcissistic dates/boyfriends called me brilliant. They put me down right away. HG mostly talks about very cunning and successful narcissists. There aren't too many of those.
There's a joke I heard long ago in a group session of NA... What does an addict bring on the second date? A moving van... I shall now replace addict with narcissist 😂
Wait I don't get it, like a van to abduct someone?
@@somethinggood9267 😂😂No! because there's poor boundary regnognition , along with no impulse control and short sighted behavior...It's their moving van and they're moving in LOL!
Spot on 😊
It's also an old joke in the lesbian community. So I guess it's a joke about women, not just narcs and addicts?
@@Anna-Bernadette
Before listening, I shall give one that might be a tiny bit more difficult to spot:
They extremely rarely actually apologize. It's always with a qualifier, shifting responsibility elsewhere.
"I'm sorry that YOU feel that way."
"I couldn't have possibly known that."
"I'm sorry that I couldn't do what YOU wanted me to."
With this, there is also an advice: If you haven't done anything wrong, do not apologize. If you did, just apologize(unless you're being coerced into it at the same time).
Bingo!
Very good. Def worthy of this list. They do not apologize
narcissists are so suffocating. i would never allow that sort of neighbor in my life.
I had a new " friend"..who I perceived was needy..which is ok with me to a degree. She actually was a big narc, who turned out to be nasty AF.
A classical narcissist, The Phantom of the Opera, almost completely steals Christine from the "normal".
Narcs must love younger people because I've fallen for all of these when I was younger and was in a long-term relationship with a narcissist. Now in middle age I didn't know these were signs of a narcissist but all 5 are just traits I now find annoying and no longer have patience for😅 I prefer to do my own thing and enjoy quiet time alone and then time with my friends too but I just thought that was me being set in my ways. Well now thanks to HG I now know the side benefit is I am less attractive to narcissists so win win!
Quiet time alone is so healing. Its the most positive lesson I've learned from leaving my x narc of 28 years. What we have now is what they've been trying to take from us from the start. They lost !
oh my god my ex has every single one of these!!
Me too. In fact I don't think I've ever been involved with anyone who wasn't a narcissist.
Fully single now 😊
Same here! It's ridiculous how I didn't learn from the first two! 🙄
5 out of 5! Run! 🏃
Argh I got duped by all this. Never ever again. Worked out who and what he was. No contact. No going back. 💪
Thank you, appreciate this. Wish I would've know this 15 almost 16 years ago, but grateful to know it now.
Excellent video HG, like many others, if only I knew this before I let him in to ruin my life 😢
He’s gone but the nasty memories have not unfortunately.
Bless you. Ditto to that
Every single one of these, but after a previous experience I was wise to it:
Taking up all my time: Wanted to call every evening and text all day. For anxious when I didn’t reply immediately, and the anxious turned into sulking
Trying to change my life to suit him: Tried to stop me spending time with my friends. Sulked when I had to postpone travelling to see him because my cat was ill (in retrospect I realise she was dying). He claimed to love cats but literally tried to stop me caring for my cat. He got sulky when I signed up to a 6-week evening class because it meant less time with him.
Flattery was in the form of posting to his stories from literally day 1. He wanted to take a photo straight after we kissed and then posted it to social media. When I protested, we had an argument, saying I was trying to hide him.
Fast forwarding: talking about moving to my city and moving in within 2 weeks. Spoke about having kids another week later. My alarm bells were ringing at this point due to past experience.
Surprise: wanted to come visit me with from another country with 12 hours notice. My negative reaction led to a melt down on his behalf. I was meant to be going out with my cousin and he wanted to stop that.
All of this in 7 weeks. As it was my second time around, I bolted by week 7 and haven’t spoken to him since. He did a smear campaign, which only worked on one person who is highly narcissistic herself.
P
Watching HG Tudor's videos is quite scary. I feel like he has been a fly on the wall, as everything he says is EXACTLY how it was for me. It is sad to think that I wasted time on an narcissist and hurt some people I love in the process but I am now free and though not fully healed from the trauma of it all yet, I am close. Having to deal with some flying monkeys but I cannot control what people want to say or think. Ultimately I am out of it and he cannot come back and fool me again.
Dealing with a Covert Narcissist has really changed me, I don't trust anyone now.
I’ve always been creeped out when I dated somebody when I was younger, and they used to talk about getting married on the third date.
For a LONG time I thought I was a commitment phobe and I should WANT these things. Constantly my friends brought up the movie “ RunAway Bride”. I tried to say I didn’t think real life was like a Julia Roberts movie. I would bail, they would shake their heads.
It wasn’t until I found HG Tudor that I realized that I was not in fact a weirdo. But actually just frankly smart enough and lucky enough to listen to my Spidey Senses, and get out when I felt uncomfortable, even when I didn’t know why.
Thank you for confirming what I've always felt, events in a relationship should take place gradually, should take the proper amount of time.
REMINDERS TO MYSELF:
Lots of gift-giving early on in a possible relationship is a warning sign that I might be getting involved with a narcissist.
Narcissists fast-forward the relationship by involving me in ties that binds.
Lots of early gift-giving indicates a narcissistic bribery, which is sinister by intention, and is meant to control me ostensibly benignly.
I wish h g was broadcast everywhere, 24/7 so we could avoid these things
These have always been red flags for me, all of these give me the ick & will make me immediately ghost that person, but I hadn't put it together with the narcissist before this video. Thank you HG!
Mine acted like I was just the best thing in the world in the beginning. He slowly became controlling. He would accuse me of looking at other guys. When I wasn't. The psychology abuse started after I married him. Until eventually I was very isolated He had me married to him in less than 4 mths of meeting him. I never really knew him. He used words of kindness, gave fancy presents.The first date was a helicopter ride. Expensive jewelry was also something he did. They make you feel like you are so special.Than they slowly tear you down. It happened after I married him. That and they are never wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Yes and he would do things for my parents, and I didn't even know him
Monopolization of time was the HUGE first red flag, which I was unaware of. Basically, I was "befriended" by him ultra fast. Since I was a neglected child, who had no real interactions with peers, I had no healthy point of reference! So when suddenly became "visible" to someone, and he wanted to chat with me all the time, for many hours a day, even when he was at work, ugh.... I really thought that he likes me a lot. I had no idea, that healthy people make appointments instead of "time-bombing" someone.
Interestingly enough, the discard phase has a motto, verbalized to justify all his wrongdoings: "Bad timing". Bad timing, always bad timing. So, yeah.....
Your work is to be credited HG Tudor, lucky are those whom had found it and appreciated.
Listening to this is being aware of this sort of chapters to make my own, relations might be accordingly.
This man literally had all of these...every one!
This is as precious as gold, I wish I had access to this information from an early age, it would have saved me a lot of money, time, effort headaches, hearteaches and tears; but I am happy I have the information now, you never know when one of those would come along.
My narcissistic ex did exactly all of this. I had low self-esteem and unresolved traumas. All of that of course made an easy target. I just moved to a different country and wasn't really friends with no one. Then, all of a sudden I had this person who showed all of this attention and love. He soon started actively isolating me from any person who was interested in knowing me. He used to accuse me for every single interaction I had with men, even colleagues. He used me for the last time months ago, when his father got arrested for domestic violence. Well, I guess the apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree. He changed all of a sudden when he had a new pretty female flatmate. Now they are in a relationship. I'm not at all surprised. I'm sure he's taking control of her life and the fact that they live together is certainly helping him.
O gosh, mine did all of these things. And was extremely yealous the first weeks we were dating because I spoke to a friend. Why did I still kept on dating years and years, I was so stupid and idiot. I paid everything for him, did everything for him, because I thought I could make him happy. He had huge childhood trauma’s and I thought I could help him. Being brought up by narc parents and a narc sister I thought it was real love, but inside a little voice screamed this was so off and so wrong. But somehow I couldn’t leave, was litterly trapped and couldn’t leave. Until I forced myself to leave. And the worse part is, that this was my second narc relationship 😣I hope I now don’t fall for narcs again.
Absolutely fantastic video HG. This should be compulsory watching for every young person before they start dating.
Thank you for your work, HG. You are leaving a legacy like no other! 🙌🏼
Mine , pushed in and asked me to marry them within the first month and said it in front of my family and the presents and turned up.
Woe most all the flags...
I think we could all tell similar stories...😢 I had recently ditched some so called friends after listening to HG for a few years now.
Oh how i wish i could go back and implement everything he's taught us.
There is life after the Narc but its long and rocky.
I wish you well.
@@shelleybuckingham733 As do I .. Wish I had listened to some of what My bio mother's people was saying.
The worst mistakes were them taking control the finances and letting people convince me into them being my POA and having their name on my property.
All the while saying that "I'm only here to help you" and "I'm just making it easier for you.."
It got bad for a while My doctors trusted them
Trying get them to sedate me... They destroyed my friendships and isolated me .
when I took back control they had destroyed my credit and wanted to fight me on the house I bought.
They put you on the spot
@@motowngirl5891 yes, I had just gotten out on my own before I was living with my controlive biological mother
it is so obvious now, looking back. Thanks for your excellent information HG.
💯
In my opinion the most important and also the most common flag is speed followed by the invasion of your personal spaces and isolation from the rest of the world. Unfortunately we ourselves mistake them for gestures of love and not worrying signs, perhaps because we recognize them as normal and that in some way they belong to us or our family of origin. We repeat the patterns that were taught to us in childhood and of course it's all wrong. But I would also blame society and its non-educational systems.
👏 ❤
Excellent video in distinguishing the ensnaring ways of the narcissist in contrast with more “normal” ways people tend to relate!
Re: excessive flattery ~ I've noticed that some people will put yourself and themself into a "special" category. They may say things like, "I can't believe I've finally met someone who's on my level." Or "I rarely meet someone who understands what I'm talking about." Or "It's really hard to meet an attractive, accomplished, successful person." These things put you in to a special category with the (possible) narcissist. Beware of this because people with are truly accomplished with real character don't usually categorize people like this. It's a play to make you feel special because you (and the narc) are in a special category.
Just thinking about previous and my current relationship and yes, the slow development has been the safest...
Excellent video HG!!
Biggest problem is falling in love with them quickly. My English ex displayed all of these around the two month mark. Took many years to fall out of love and only then was able to see clearly again.
Yes I’m the same. I don’t fall often but when I do, I REALLY do… and then I’m there for years. I spend a lot of time being single because I’m still grieving. I’m getting better at it though.. letting go and trusting the process. Every step away from an unhealthy dynamic is a step towards love for yourself.
Oh wow every single one. You’re right it’s really flattering at the time and you get swept away. So glad that’s now in the past.
Feel incredibly fortunate that every item listed were big turn offs for me. Didn’t realize the narcissism in these actions. Could never stand an emotionally needy bullshit artist.
So many signs I didn’t see
It’s almost one year and still constant flattery
Only 1 that didn't happen, was the surprise bit, but they lived some hours away. No expensive gifts either, sad to say! Everything else though-absolutely, and on steroids!
This is great HG. I'm listening it to it again. Mine did all of these things. Melissa
Do narcissist actually play into people's emotions? Do theyenjoy arguing and thinking that everything is about them. Like when we get upset they love it.
What are the chances that the narcissist believed that I was the narcissist?😱
This is proof that the narcissist does not recognize another narcissist when he looks in the mirror.
"Shut up, it's not you, it's the others.🤫"
You have just completely described a coworker I had once. She did all of these things with several men at work!! Wow!!!
Platinum information. I’ll be sharing.
Eh HG......spreading the HG word again and shared this to a Facebook empath group I'm in 😁 your ever faithful Karen ...🙏🏻😘
This is great dating information & advice in itself for anyone getting into a new relationship.
It should be commonsense to most, but some naive/damaged people may think this kind of behaviour is charming, exciting and even 'loving' in some ways & fall for it hook, line & sinker.
This kind of stuff should be taught in schools, thank you for the education HGT!
Thank you for this, sir. Much appreciated.
The monopolization of time.... I thought this was a sign that things were going swimmingly... we spent hours each night on the telephone talking about everything and nothing at all. She'd often fall asleep. I didn't see this as a red flag, though I saw others signs. Anyway... she's gone now, out of my life before I developed feelings. Not sure I can develop feelings after the narc before that, the one who nearly destroyed me and brought me to this channel.
similar to what I thought about a guy I dated for 3 months. I did notice the monopolization of time and late night call and the disregard when I asked for earlier calls. His disregard raised a red flag so I kept an eye on his calls and called him out on it. He was not happy and agreed to call earlier but even that got pushed further into the evening after a while. I pulled back as I saw other red flags and watched his behaviour. At 3.5 months he had a tantrum for the silliest reason and called sabotage on his part. He denied it but I was done and broke up. Exhaled and moving on...
Thank you HG ❤
Thank you for what you do !!!!
Oh HG why did I not know this 20 years ago
Thanks HG. That's good solid advice. I've come across these types several times and sent them packing in no uncertain way. Nothing rude. Just firm NO does it amazingly quickly.
Within 5 to 6 months it’s like where is the baby? Might as well have a baby with a total stranger! Then stone walled for 14 months when I refused through lack of stability and her constant threats to end the relationship.
Thank you, HG Tudor. 🙏🏼
It's so good to see you again. I'm trying to help someone understand this. Who better than you?
Nailed it!
This is a really good, common sense video. Thank you.
I got caught in the narcissistic web 3 times, and that excludes narcissist friends and family members. I am likely an empath and use emotional thinking. This content speaks to me, but 1) one of the biggest signals that should send you running is blowing hot and cold at the beginning. Maybe it's subsumed under the 5 here, but not explicitly mentioned; 2) very early sexual innuendo or touching-lack of respect,-also run; 2) Jake in this example is not interested in Jane. He is too calculating and maybe reluctant to date. One or two extra unscheduled texts between dinners do not monopolizing make. And "I am busy next weekend" after a first date? Honey, I'm booked for the rest of my life! Not everyone who shows interest in us is a narcissist. Thinking otherwise is self-esteem-destroying.
Tak!
Scrubs and a hot chocolate😂😂😂😂 laugh out loud moment HG
I could listen to your voice all day
Thanks HG❤
Professor: An idea. A Narcissist loves velocity! A Narcissist is a disruptor! A Narcissist adulates when in the "Hunting mode", "Raptor Mode"! A Narcissist speeds processes! A Narcissist and their gifts of falsehood! Now... you cannot speed time, you cannot speed processes (Lab facts). Idea: (this idea you won't like), imagine a Narcissist vs. Autism Spectrum Disorder?
A narcissist tends to have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, abilities, a strong desire for admiration, grandiosity, need for attention, and a preoccupation for success, power and or physical appearance. I’ve never met an autistic person that shares any of the above traits. I really don’t get where the comparison comes from albeit a lack of empathy. Even then one is aware and one is not.
@@kr8882 Sorry, I wrote versus.... (vs.) Do you understand now? Is like saying Muhammad Ali (the boxer) versus The Colossus of Rhodes.
@@GregorySamsa930 I understand the comment, just not the significance or point.
HG and Harry discuss similarities between Narsissism and Autism and how to distinguish the two here: //ua-cam.com/video/F5kgdM-2lSM/v-deo.htmlsi=jeY7UzjJzl9Ptt9j
@@kr8882 Allow me to apologize for my uncompleted thoughts. A person with a certain type of Autism has particular characteristics. An easy example: The Narcissist (not the Cerebral or Elite) approaches people with their "belief of stardom" and the Autistic person doesn't like noise. The ears are a very sensitive conduit. Imagine that the way you stir your tea with a spoon, irritates their ears. Now imagine with me a Narcissist verbal assault and the Autistic personality reaction; throwing items with the precision of a sniper. Imagine a Narcissist trying to disrupt the life structure (hours, habits) of an Autistic person. Imagine more... Imagine trying to absorb a person that chooses their interests and "absorptions''. Try to add to the lesson from our Professor, an Autistic Personality. Watch the Great Wall of China attempted to be "broken" by a Narcissist...Someone will lose... Remember the Narcissist needs full contact with their victims and their reality... The Autistic person has no concept of the concepts that the Narcissist so desperately needs. No concept of human interactions, fuel, wrath, lies, etc... When an Autistic person does Astronomical calculations, she needs to touch her hair or ears... or she will disappear through Arithmetic operations. An Autistic human is a different kind of Universe, to some: An impenetrable Universe. Narcissist versus Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I had to close my eyes while reading you. I will read a sentence and enjoy it by closing my eyes... If you were my friend: I will make mistakes on purpose just to enjoy your selection of words and redaction.
Raise your hand if you saw a red flag and it's completely ignored
Raise your hand if you saw the red flags before getting together with the narcissist
Raise your hand if you saw the narcissist flirting with others while he was with you
Raise your hand if you have heard the narcissist say that just as he loves you he has never loved anyone else or something like that
Raise your hand if you would have moved on from the narcissist even on the same day of the first date
Raise your hand if you felt betrayed despite having no proof
Raise your hand if you understood that the narcissist was sick and would have kept it anyway
Raise your hand if you knew that red flags or roller coasters existed before today
Raise both hands if you gave up on the first try without seeing HG Tudor's videos
Are we all in love with love?
👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋 👋👋
All of us. That's why we're watching these videos
Why is the odd surprise a red flag ?????????
@@MENTALHEALTHWITHLUKE TO keep you thinking about them, even though they don't really care about you. Manipulation of emotion and your time.
@rahoche3 but that's only if they're a narc. I surprised my ex. Even the mother of my kids, not every week, but every now and then. If I went out shopping for myself, I'd pick something up. I hope that doesn't make me a narc? Sometimes, it's just nice and thoughtful.
*I have a new friend who messages me a lot.* (I’ve been looking for new ones since cutting out old “friends” after dealing with a narcissistic relationship and realising my friends and family are also narcissists) *and a few new friends I spotted red flags straight away and didn’t go any further. The problematic but oh so fun looking ones! A few slipped through the net and revealed themselves later with toxic gossiping and lying and rumour spreading once I was doing well in life* *so I’m wondering if there is a checklist for friends since they won’t approach the same way and work friendships were you are kind of forced together and see each other daily regardless*
Yeah @trs …gotta talk and end it forever girl!! Even though it’s been decades, they mean absolutely nothing to him…you were just a place holder… a piece of …he’s gonna replace you or you’re gonna die before he does…which is it going to be?
I had hypno-therapy, by a qualified shaman and professor of psychology, which prepared me for the trauma bond with a cluster-b person. the shaman doesn't flatter the individual but instead draws them in to a form of addiction by using clever hypnotic tricks, tales and riddles. they do however insert assertions of control - the student is required to carry out menial tasks with no apparent purpose, ad-infinitum. however these are part of the inductions - this is openly stated. it puts the person into a kind of trance, making them trust the hypnotist without rational intervention. but before then end of the tale or riddle, the hypnotist then starts to devalue the student by insulting them directly. the student puts up with this and ignores it until they get bored or angry. the exact moment that they start to react, the hypnotist then delivers the post-hypnotic trigger, making the student burst out laughing for example, or have the sensation that they are leaning from a great height, or half hot half cold (everyones favourite). so the responses to devaluation are radically altered - so with my partner, instead of becoming annoyed or bored, I would become expectant, excited, and a little bit scared. eventually I got bored of waiting for the magic to happen, and realised that I could insert my own magic, which unleashed a current of creativity in both of us.
another thing they did is the "trauma bond by proxy". the student is fed a long winding folk tale, in which they identify with one of the characters, because of the fictional empathic traits. the hypnotist then begins to address the student as that character (as they go through the phases of becoming trauma bonded to the narcissist), and directs them to act out the part with symbolic actions, and where they are positioned in the healing lodge. but, when the student is overwhelmed by the strong empathy induced by the tale, the hypnotist then returns to the current time, either temporarily by asking them to perform a menial task before returning to the tale, or by way of closure until the next session. the effect of this seemed to be that, during my phase of being trauma bonded, I was still able to manage my day-to-day life, and got plenty of exercise and ate well.
it's also a tale dating back to neolithic times. spoiler: the narcissist turns into a mocking bird and the empath into a sparrow. let that sink in.
This was a very helpful video!
I am savoring Tudor's insights in a creative Nietzschean sort of slowing reading, stopping at 3:29 in the video, to let the red flag of monopolization of time permeates my body and soul, while I listen to Coltrane's "Body and Soul' on a loop.
Thank you for this H.G.
I think boundary recognition and space given to the person you’re falling in love with are part of the foundations of a healthy relationship. Not only have you given the red flags to avoid but you’ve explained what the early stages of a healthy relationship looks like.
I’ve been madly in love and given one (hundred) too many compliments, I’ve wanted to spend all my time with this person and I definitely see aspects of my behaviour in this list and I have thought, am I a narcissist.
However I take comfort that I’ve only been like this with one person (I would stare at them for hours and they were the most beautiful person I had ever seen (even thought intellectually I recognise that’s probably not accurate).
Furthermore at the heart of that relationship was a friendship full of mutual respect and wanting the best for each other. The enjoyment of spending time apart and missing that person whilst enjoying the other aspects of your life.
This is what narcissists do - they rip off aspects of true love, amplify it and hood wink their victim.
PS - thank you for the new perspective on the so called lurve experts x
Does the narcissistic person like it when you're the one flattering them?. Over complementing them.
When anyone uses flattery on me, I simply say, " Who are you trying to convince?."
Damn, HG ~ The narcissist must really like the person at first, right? Thanks for this one. We have our jury, opening Statements begin Monday morning. No audio in the room. But pool reporters text. CNN is running a live text update that’s pretty good.
I’m as old as dirt…but I did have a blast growing old. If a guy tried moving too fast for me, I’d end it with “It’s not you, it’s me.”
And, I spent 8 years in the USAF before meeting my husband. I couldn’t swing a dead cat in a circle without knocking some guys out. Don’t get me wrong, Miss Piggy, would be in demand, stationed at a couple places where I was. I’m not being conceited. I’ve never been a dog. (It’s so hard not to add a laughing emoji.) one learns early on when it’s going too fast. That’s when you stop it. I suppose that’s your first red flag. My respect for a guy always dropped if he moved too quickly for me. Does that make sense?? Back to the real issue, for a narcissist to behave that way, moving too quickly, doesn’t that mean he was taken by something…in the target?? I’ve always hated long phone calls. I warn others of this!!
I don’t know what I am. I don’t think I’m a narcissist and I don’t think I’m an empath. Luckily, I’m too old now to worry about it. I might have left a string of broken hearts but I always warned them up front. Not every relationship has to lead to marriage. Only one does.
Number one: had no idea things were meant to go as **slowly** as that. Almost all my early relationships went like that -- almost all were with older people (by 15-20 years), so didn't realise that's NOT how relationships are supposed to be.
Which completely blends into number 2.
Many of my early dates/relationships were early holidays or early wanting to move in or wanting children (one guy said he wanted kids with me on the first date: i took it as a drunk joke: 7 months later.... )
number 5, yes, to some extent.
If someone's dating years, from age 15 (seeing a man of 28), through to their mid/late 20s, is predominantly people who displayed these red flags (whether tgey turned out to be flings or serious relationships)....
...... When this is the first 10 years or so of someone's life dating, do you think it can skew their perception of "normal"?
Such that empathic individuals can end up thinking this is how relationships "should be"?
Thanks!
Boss!
Moving after 3 months gotta be a narcissist
Sounds like TOW.
6th red flag: They have excessive flatulence or chronic bad breath and wonder why everyone steers clear of them. 7th red flag: They act like Peppermint Patty on the Peanuts cartoons.
Thank you HG. A tad disconcerting to hear.
...... When this is the first 10 years or so of someone's life dating -- where almost all their dates have been 8-20 years older (where a girl starts dating aged 15) therefore she assumes her dates are wiser and instructive on how to date -- do you think it can skew a person's perception of "normal"?
.... Such that empathic individuals can end up thinking this is how relationships "should be"?
So deeply empathic people (like my mum), can wind up thinking that rapid texting, rapid spending time, etc.... is just normal for relationships?
Especially if friends are saying "if he's not texting you constantly, or wanting to see you all the time, then he's just not into you"......
...... Hell, even films and tv (fiction & reality) say that this is how things are meant to be.
Mum and friends are right, up to a point . Sincere interest is not always pathology.
@@hg4311 okay, thank you. Taken on board, and weaving your thoughts into HG's teachings. Thank you for this, I appreciate you taking time to read & reply.
(Apologies above is so rambling: on a lot of medication, and frequently forget I've posted; plus not getting notifications from YT -- so if you replied elsewhere, my apologies for not replying.)
@@annakarenina3188 You are most welcome, and all the best. And my initials are HG, too :)
@@annakarenina3188 You're most welcome. These are not teaching. They are thoughts based on bitter experience. As an empath. I'm eager to help. All the best!
This sounds like the movie "Fatal Attraction".
HG Tudor has the exact same voice as Darth Vader 😅
HG Tudor - how can i help my husband recognize hat he is traumabond and that NO CONTACT/Grey rocking are the only ways to deal with his parents? I know he has to see it himself - but is there a way to enhance this klicking or aha-effect? THANKS for Your answer!
The worst thing you can do is to point this out,you can however ask him often how he feels after encounters with Saud family, this way he is the point of reference without pitting him.against the others. It may not happen,allegiance in cluster B families is strong
Hello Mr T. Is this adventure with M & H. not ending? And if so how Does it end? I am an intelligent person and would question it. What will the legal ramifications be if this indeed is proven to be fraudulent behaviour?
just wondering, if i do the narcissist definer thing H.G is this official? can i use it eg in court?
So what’s your take on the videos about the narcissist takes a snap shot when they first meet a person
Like 666. Thanks for educating us.
❤
Im sorry that you interpreted what i said that way, im sorry i didnt phrase things how you would like, im sorry you have decided to take offense at that lol We have a communication problem because you dont listen to what i actually say and because lets face it you are mental youve said it yourself you get confused and take everything wrong. i never once said that to you (shows proof) well you have clearly taken what i did say out of context there were pages of conversation before that, what did YOU say to ME to make me type that? lol No of course i dont find the other women attractive its just when you wont talk to me i have no one to chat to and they throw themselves at me, i tell them i prefer you and would drink your bath water but you cant have it both ways you either want to talk to me or you dont. etc etc etc etc Still on no contact, hes currently embarrassing himself throwing himself at a bird half his age with a moody fizzog, i wish him well with it.