Surviving ADHD Burnout | ADHD Nerds Podcast, Ep. 2
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- Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
- This is episode two of the ADHD Nerds podcast. And today I'm talking with Trina Haynes. Trina is an ADHD advocate and owner of the My Lady ADHD platform, which helps to educate and empower newly diagnosed ADHDers. Having received an ADHD diagnosis later in life, Trina offers humorous and down to earth content that often helps others recognize their own ADHD symptoms. Today, we're going to be talking about how to recognize and avoid ADHD burnout, as well as some of the overlap in symptoms between ADHD and Multiple Sclerosis.
adhdnerds.com
Original episode released May 2, 2022
GUEST:
Trina Haynes
/ myladyadhd
myladyadhd.com
SHOW NOTES:
Julie Teffeteller
/ julie.teffeteller
I Am ADHD, ADHD Is Me: How Your Mental Disorder Becomes Your Personality
adhdjesse.com/posts/i-am-adhd...
Multi-Pens
www.jetpens.com/blog/The-Best...
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A.
www.burnoutbook.net/
Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers
sive.rs/n
Stop Asking Questions by Andrew Warner
www.damngravity.com/books/sto...
SUPPORT:
Patreon
/ jessej
#adhd #podcast - Розваги
Advice for reading non-fiction/self-help books (I wish I could credit where I heard it.): Go to the end of the chapter, and read the last sentence or two to get an understanding of the point of the chapter. Skim the sub-heads throughout the chapter with its purpose in mind. Read any sections, examples, etc that are of interest to you or that contain information you need to know. Repeat for the remaining chapters or at least those of interest to you. Don't feel obligated to read non-fiction like a novel. It's not like you're going to spoil the ending.
I just read half and then look up the Wikipedia page
This is great!
This is close to a technique I used, this is how survived several years of school (university).
I cried listening to you both. I’m 62, only diagnosed last year and still figuring out how to show up in a healthy way and not keep trying to fit in. Burnout was the thing that saw me seeking help. Everyone loved me because I always said ‘yes’ until they hated me because all of the spinning plates crashed to the ground. I now carry the shame of failure 🥺.
Sending you a major "I get it" hug. Just had a similar experience - diagnosed at 49 and am just uncovering all the corners of my life this has touched. Tears of joy here for finding my clan and ADHD mentors as well as tears of fear thinking about the neurotypicals who I want to tell but I don't actually believe will understand.
9:30 this really describes the neurodivergent community as a whole. Whether we have adhd, autism, or whatever, we all have one thing in common: we feel like its us vs the world.
“Thank you for being here! I need this content!” 🤗🙌🏻
This is really insightful. Going through ADHD burnout for 3 years is what made me finally look into ADHD so I feel very seen.
What are your symptoms
I was diagnosed last year at 59. I don't have any resentment that it wasn't caught earlier, but I can't think of a single point when it would have been reasonable to diagnose me. It's been interesting seeing so many things click into place. It's also interesting to see the symptoms I think I don't have are actually ones I've developed coping mechanisms for.
You all talked about job hopping. I thought that was only me. I didnt know i had adhd till two years ago. I would see everyone around staying at one job for years, and the longest I would have one was maybe a year, till I found a part time job who had a union who backed up the employees and helped with so much I was able to be there 6 yrs. I thought there was something wrong with me for so many years. I always felt like the family failure.
With regard to the chainsaw juggling metaphor - I have the opposite reaction. Instead of frantically adding more chainsaws, my instinct is to drop everything and pull away.
My version of a burnout cycle seems to start with that instinct to quit and retreat. In an attempt to be a moderately successful member of society, I begin waging war with that instinct. A roller coaster of good days/weeks and bad days/weeks ensues. But at some point I get too overwhelmed. I cut myself off from everything and self-destruct. Eventually, usually with help, I start to recover and engage again. Sometimes I even feel almost normal for a while. But the cycle always starts again...
Yep, me too
Your content is really amazing and it really is working for me. Please continue making these videos.Thank you for this content
haha, I love that chain saw analogy. When adding more chainsaws gets boring they get set on fire.
Hi, all of this is very relatable for me.
I got diagnosed almost a year ago, and started medication 6 months ago, it's helped somewhat with focus but doesn't solve the exhaustion that comes with being burned out for a decade...
I am sleeping better these past few months than I ever did, melatonin helps. I actually sleep before midnight most days as opposed to staying up till 6am and waking in the afternoon. My burnout would cause me to get little to nothing done during the day, not take breaks, feel guilty in the evening so I wouldn't switch off and I'd stay up past exhaustion trying to catch up with myself, but then I'd be so numb I'd just get distracted, but rather than go to bed I'd just stay up playing games, UA-cam binge etc. This was going on every day since I was about 14 and I'm 24 now so it's a cycle that took so long to acknowledge and then even when I did it's easier said than done breaking out of that.
Burnout is awful, for me it was the feeling of "I'm not doing enough" and being exhausted trying to keep up and achieve a lot, while not looking after my mental and physical health, all while family members and school told me "You're lazy and unfocused", and didn't believe the difficulties I had.
I had MRI scans maybe 4 years ago because along with the burnout exhaustion, memory issues, I had headaches every day, sore head, numbness, thankfully it wasn't cancer, but I was in and out of shitty jobs where I'd get treated like I'm "Just not trying" "You just don't care about this", when I was doing my best... "You seem like you're on drugs"...
The "Ability to take on anything" is real for me too, but it feels like a negative a lot of the time, especially when I am barely managing what's already on my plate, I can't afford to just drop everything. So recently I try and be mindful and think through my routine and current commitments/responsibilities. I try to only take on projects if I've fully thought them through and made some sort of plan on paper. It's way too easy for me to start 20 projects and not finish any of them, or even get 10% through any of them so nothing to show for it.
I am starting to meditate daily in the mornings, and when I can, take a nap after lunch. Those breaks allow me to check in with myself and also rest my eyes/brain. Since I got into that habit I actually stop myself when I need to, like instead of working out until I'm sick I notice that, and take some rest, I was never able to do that back then, I'd always just keep going until I had a headache or made myself ill.
Counselling helps a ton but I've been through some bad/disinterested counsellors... My current counsellor is very helpful at trying to piece together what's happened, how I felt, and how I can dig myself out of this. Rejection sensitivity, being bullied and racist attacks, family not supporting or believing me, massively underachieving having no structure or guidance growing up, working through that trauma and developing systems, rules, habits that will help me get to where I want to be.
Right now I am not in a good place as I have been out of work for a while, very few friends, struggling to pay for even the basics but I feel as if I'm making progress and more aware of things than ever, but it's hard when you have no money to do things to help yourself like going out to socialize.
The one thing I've been doing really well at is my exercise routine, having the consistency and discepline while also not beating yourself up or forcing yourself, cardio, strength and flexibility, and good diet/nutrition. I've been able to stay disceplined while also giving myself breaks and made a lot of progress so it will only help my mental health.
It's frustrating feeling like if you try new things or take on more it will derail the things you're trying to stay consistent at, I'm struggling to get on with everything I need to at the moment let alone trying other things or doing things like reading or watching shows.
Duuuuuuude are you psychic, why are you describing me? This is like 95% me! Minus the headaches and 2 years ahead of you in the modern media addiction game since I started at 14 but am 26 now. Please let's connect, maybe go on a call per discord or whichever platform you feel comfortable with. This is so me it's almost disturbing lol. I'd love to talk to someone who actually knows what all of this is like. Especially the whole not-doing-anything shebang. I can't see my discord ID rn, I think it's Essen2200 or Essen2070 or Essen2270... if you reply I'll make sure to tell you the correct ID lol. This is insane, I'm glad I scrolled all the way here and read this and read your replies too.
"you seem like you are on drugs"
I can relate well to this, during school days I often heard this one.
Or "you look like you are sleeping" when the topic/presentation couldn't captivate me and I started daydreaming and didn't notice when the teacher talked to me.
I love this podcast so much, its so comforting to hear and you are right, we are a brave bunch, I love how we take on tasks like its nothing. Things your average person would find daunting and we just say 'hell yeah i'mm gonna give that a go!' i.e podcasts. Good for us, we pave ways, we should be very proud of our bravery x
Speaking on the section of the video; the commmunity truly has been a blessing for me. I came from a place where internet was a luxury that didn’t come often so I had no idea ADHD existed. The struggles though school and jobs made me seriously think I was just stupid. Thanks for sharing your experiences guys
The burnout is so real. I feel like I have lived most of my life in burnout. My son is ten and just got diagnosed last December and a huge light bulb went off for me. I’m not officially diagnosed yet but I’m pretty sure I have it. I relate to everything!
Dude - I'm so chuffed you posted these on UA-cam. Such a great episode as always I'm gonna listen again. 🙌
thanks for posting this. It really helps me to hear others work through the burn out and the negative thoughts.
You two are so positive! Thank you for this!
I have a 4-color version of that kind of pen that also has a rubber spinny thing on the end. I love it! (Also I was all about Trapper Keepers in the 80s!)
Thanks for sharing ✨️
Only those first sentences about burnout describes me.. 46 yo. Doctors never suggested adhd, I've just recently seen how I check so many boxes... Booked assessment with a psychiatrist. 🤞
I had an ex who was very invalidating to my ADHD experience. It just got to a point where if I discovered something that related to my experience, she would say angrily, "ADHD can't affect that many parts of your life". She also wouldn't take the time to try and educate herself on my experience, and I always had to come to her.
I had an ex who watched ONE video on ADHD and relationships, was completely convinced I would quickly get bored and dump her, refused to believe me when I explained that I’m an individual and not a stereotype, etc. When someone tells you who they are, believe them 😂
Your ADHD origin story really resonated with me, even though I don't have MS in my family. At some points in my life, with university, social life and everything, some problems became so prominent that I seriously questioned if I have neurological damage. I started googling brain damage and stuff like that, trying to remember if I ever fell hard on my head as a child. ADHD was something that I stumbled on from time to time, but it took still more time before I started considering it as at that point, I had the wrong picture of ADHD always containing being fidgety and hyperactive, which I was the opposite of
My mum had severe ms I have fybromyalgia just had another MRI ok aprart from disc wear etc what are your symptoms
I had extreme burnout nowadays. I want to leave my company immediately. But I know my team will suffer :( And its hard to leave them behind.
As someone who had a similar issue: leave so you can begin your recovery journey and focus on yourself. Good luck!
I really understand the ADHD burnout.
I grew up in Australia, we called that pen a '10 pen' (because it had 10 colours).
Bro... this introduction... so spot on hahahahahaha... I am so burned out... that is the only way I can pay my bills
Thanks!
Lot of us have Asperger's to
This is a really unusual story. However, I had a spinal injury that put me out of my previous, perfect for me, career. After this I also had MS type symptoms, or at least I thought my brain fog and loss of dexterity were a sign of it. My mum has PP-MS. The physical signs of what I was experiencing were the early signs of my mums diagnosis of MS, who was wheelchair bound by the time she was 50yo. I also had MRI scans to get to the bottom of it, which were negative for MS.
Looking back on my whole life with hindsight, ADHD should have been pretty obvious. But I was only diagnosed with ADHD at 32, after really struggling with being forced out of my career, also spending a year on SSRI's because my struggling was put down to depression. SSRI's didn't help at all.
It took a really good GP (Physician) to suggest that it could be ADHD. Since being diagnosed, then me researching ADHD and being put on the stimulant meds, everything about my whole life to this point, makes sense.
My mum also has ADHD, as well as my sister, both of my daughters and my cousin.
I have just list my mum.to severe ms my mum surely had Asperger's and heds.i have had CFS since a fall 26 years ago now it's more fybromyalgia I've also had pots do you happen to have heds it must be the link my son as Asperger's add to and hypermobile my scans are clear 4 year ago but fybromyalgia.bad.awaitng hdhd meds to try
I appreciate the Omni potential and wish I possessed it. But with MS, Late Diagnosis (Age 53), and possible NVLD it's not part of the portfolio. With that said it doesn't mean there aren't some amazing opportunities out there for those of us who are approaching our latter phase of life.
Great!
The grown up version of the pen has just 4 grown up colours, Black, Blue, Red & Green.
ADHD BURNOUT......BAZINGA!
I find similar to this pen for adult it has 6 colors it is in moje and miniso
I can’t find the quote about what adhd burnout is. I think it is so spot on
Its so bad im transgender and I've missed getting my hormones this year bc i will go out to check out my mental checklist and I FORGET/too "lazy" to get up and get ready to go
MS Diagnosed 2011. ADHD 2023.
To me ADHD with just the positives without the negatives is ENFP lol. I am very, very ENFP (also very, very ENTP but I'd like to say child and early teens me was an obvious ENFP and I grew into an ENFP/ENTP mix, so in a way the ENFP is deeper and the ENTP is kinda a logical development to it if that makes sense anyWHOMST-) but until recently I had never listened to a healthy ENFP talk about their ENFP experiences. I did once recently, on youtube. She sounds like superhumans to me. She sounds not just so blissfully neurotypically gifted to not have those pathological negatives, she also sounds... like a superhuman. Like a superhuman version of me.
And the opposite of that, ADHD with just the negatives and none of the positives, could perhaps be ADHD paired with CPTSD. I think I have a mild case, maybe "subclinical" or whatever, maybe not idk, of CPTSD.