Top 5 Reasons Narcissists CHEAT and have AFFAIRS

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 484

  • @aujkalenic4203
    @aujkalenic4203 4 роки тому +40

    Narcs NEVER CHANGE.........NEVER

  • @victorialevy431
    @victorialevy431 4 роки тому +9

    Top reason - they are losers, failures, liars, abusive as hell and extreme cowards. They jump from victim to victim and then become the victim.

  • @Truth-matters-v2z
    @Truth-matters-v2z Рік тому +5

    “You cannot teach someone empathy”. Spot on

  • @jerrys9226
    @jerrys9226 4 роки тому +97

    Wow Jill! This was the most crystal clear description of my 10 year marriage to a narcissist. You nailed it! Three affairs in 10 years, and those are just the ones I found about. Three years out of it and I’m now Narc free and clear thinking. I went through so much abuse. Never again!

  • @toneman335
    @toneman335 4 роки тому +55

    I married a woman that when I met her she seemed to be "the girl next door" type. Only to find out later that she was a covert Narc and was a serial cheater with coworkers in the hospital where she was a nurse.

    • @Noemie291
      @Noemie291 4 роки тому +6

      Medical field peole have no respect for nothing

    • @sonnyca
      @sonnyca 4 роки тому +3

      Doctors are overworked, stressed, and work weird hours. It’s not surprising to me that they’d have affairs while at work.

    • @sonnyca
      @sonnyca 4 роки тому +2

      A lot of them also abuse drugs and alcohol.

    • @paullandry5594
      @paullandry5594 4 роки тому +2

      @@sonnyca Despite the fact they are supposed to promote the health of humankind.

    • @mikeackerman1174
      @mikeackerman1174 4 роки тому

      I counted 4 times with my covert. But as I remember and as they tell on themselves there were others. I’m a dope!

  • @garycordle5295
    @garycordle5295 3 роки тому +63

    Once you learn about them you just get tired of it because it's like your dealing with someone dead inside.

  • @judyscheiber3661
    @judyscheiber3661 4 роки тому +149

    I lived this for 50 years. Jill nailed it. He started cheating 4 weeks after our wedding and never stopped. He thought it his right to do it. Gone now. I threw him out, kept him away and DIVORCED him. I am FREE and happy with no contact. Finally.

    • @BLITZY261
      @BLITZY261 4 роки тому +10

      JLS...if i could stand in front of you and applaud you...i would...for days not minutes.
      20 years of a sentence...also free now....be safe..cherish every sunrise...i already know you will.

    • @carriedillmann4455
      @carriedillmann4455 4 роки тому +3

      God is blessing you 😇

    • @BLITZY261
      @BLITZY261 4 роки тому

      @TheTruthMATTERS! ...jeeeez...part of me wants to ask WHICH ONE with a NARCISSIST...
      YOUR NAME SUMS EVERYTHING UP...
      THE TRUTH MATTERS......may you have a better life very soon..and may it be one thing next time...
      REALLY REAL with 100% REALITY.

    • @sandraemmi431
      @sandraemmi431 4 роки тому +4

      I am working toward freedom too. Finally I see him and in a way it’s a blessing. Covert but when I saw it after 28 years I really did get it. Felt like a death. But at least I didn’t see it when kids were young. I’d hate to have to have gone through a divorce with kids young. He’s a slippery one 😑

    • @mikeackerman1174
      @mikeackerman1174 4 роки тому +2

      It’s funny, my narc was cheating , controlling, Manipulating, blamed me for everything including my daughters Down syndrome and her leukemia and she got the restraining order 2 weeks ago and got me out. Stating everything Weather good or bad in the order of everything I ever said or done even stuff I told her that happened b4 I even met her years earlier!!

  • @warriorempathshealingfromn5625
    @warriorempathshealingfromn5625 4 роки тому +153

    Not only in marriages but in partnerships and any romantic relationship.

    • @razasyeda6054
      @razasyeda6054 4 роки тому +10

      Always. Effortless cheating. This ex narc in my life was engaged to the both of us at the same time and married her. I was like wtfffff

    • @gratefulsoul1661
      @gratefulsoul1661 4 роки тому +14

      So sad.. but, not our loss. No fear about deadly diseases or hell. I was there only because I was lead to believe we where gonna end up together. Don't believe it for a minute, it'll end in disaster. God bless, take care.

    • @user-dc1dw2np1w
      @user-dc1dw2np1w 4 роки тому +7

      Exactly, had a girlfriend, but she was cruel and cheated more than once...😡

    • @pw4259
      @pw4259 3 роки тому +1

      Ok we are not leaving u out if women did a better job men would cheat

    • @leahc8347
      @leahc8347 3 роки тому +2

      Yes. Spot on.

  •  4 роки тому +34

    Narcissists should be sterilized!

  • @archangelvvv
    @archangelvvv Рік тому +3

    Never get involved with a Narcissist EVER! If you already are, you need to immediately disappear in the middle of the night! Get a new cell phone number and stay in a hotel until you can rent an apartment or buy a house. Rent a Mail Box at any UPS Store, then go to the Post Office and have all your mail forwarded to your new UPS Mail Box. You'll be glad you too this advice.

  • @knoble1985
    @knoble1985 4 роки тому +154

    They so worried about being average when really their nothing at all

    • @bluecollarlit
      @bluecollarlit 4 роки тому +3

      Lol, here, have a thumbs up.

    • @jackiejones4029
      @jackiejones4029 4 роки тому +6

      They are dirt on the floor

    • @knoble1985
      @knoble1985 4 роки тому +9

      @@jackiejones4029 Don't insult dirt like that 😉

    • @bernitacenteno1326
      @bernitacenteno1326 4 роки тому +2

      Noble 1985 Though I agree, why do I need to think that the Narc. Is nothing, when they come from a family that makes them seem like they are someone ?

    • @knoble1985
      @knoble1985 4 роки тому +6

      @@bernitacenteno1326 Their nothing in every sense of the word no matter the education or money does not make them something when they have no real empathy or love.

  • @rpmcmurphey927
    @rpmcmurphey927 4 роки тому +40

    I get bored quickly with NARCS! So, there's that...

  • @Foolmeonce-y5p
    @Foolmeonce-y5p 9 місяців тому +1

    This is the best explanation I have heard yet. Wish I had found this channel sooner. 28 years married and every bit of this applies to my cheater narcissistic stbxh.

  • @giselamarch1994
    @giselamarch1994 2 роки тому +16

    I am 84 yrs old. It took me 61 yrs to find out that I lived with a narcissit. For my work and dedication I was abandond, rejected ,humiliated, exploided,exposed to his affairs with his never-ending affairs. Now, he manipulated one of my daughters. I HAD ENOUGH. I shall be leaving. Better late than never.

  • @BK-iy4jj
    @BK-iy4jj 3 роки тому +25

    Anyone listening to this while having a narcissitic partner must be feeling quite dreadful right now

  • @JohnDoe-fz7hz
    @JohnDoe-fz7hz 3 роки тому +18

    Thanks for explaining that back and forth, hot and cold. That behavior can drive someone crazy and losing sanity. One Day you are the most loved person on the planet and the next day they hate your guts and treat you so badly and hurt you. One day further everything can be back to the beginning. That can also immediately change when someone appears on their screen and caught their attention. Hindsight already then it would have been overdue to run away and never look back. A Narc has no problem with telling you they are bored of you and your love. They absolutely don´t care what an impact it has.

  • @tonyl9337
    @tonyl9337 4 роки тому +39

    Was in a relationship with a (now i know) narcissist. I had suspicions she was cheating numerous times and if i ever questioned her sneaky activity or her lies, somehow it always got turned back to me and i just gave up as it was easier than to deal with arguments, she completely drained me of myself, thankfully i have been free of that for almost 3 years now and watching all the videos regarding narcissist abuse and how to regain my soul and self back with the understanding is helping me in every way possible

    • @nriada1156
      @nriada1156 2 роки тому

      Exactly the same with my ex wife!!

    • @MasterEggroll
      @MasterEggroll Рік тому

      You will be stronger next time. The last two girls I got into relationships with were both narcissistic

  • @curtistinemiller4646
    @curtistinemiller4646 4 роки тому +21

    Narrccissits always feel the need to one up you,especially in a intimate relationship...

  • @saralibby9846
    @saralibby9846 4 роки тому +48

    Thank you! I’ve done a lot of research on narcissism. This particular segment drove it home for me regarding their instability in relationships. In and out, hot and cold. Impulsive, sexually driven bi polar-like. Never satisfied or content. I always felt inadequate. Now it totally makes sense.

    • @XeninaCalifornia
      @XeninaCalifornia 4 роки тому +10

      But they'll say that YOU are the one being unpredictable and unloving. 😉

    • @nriada1156
      @nriada1156 2 роки тому +2

      Exactly 100% describes my ex wife. Jawdropping similarities!!

  • @eessa1727
    @eessa1727 4 роки тому +72

    Relationship can bare anything but not cheating. It's a big no.

  • @clydebrundage3215
    @clydebrundage3215 4 роки тому +54

    Thanks for this information. I was married to a woman who I considered to be overly jealous or insecure. This was back in the early 80s. I was unaware of the term narcissist. We were married for 5 years and the last two years was a continuing running affairs with other male subjects. We went for counseling and we cried and she committed herself back to the married, but nope it could not happen as she continued in her sexual run arounds. I divorced her after realizing she would never stop. You hit the nail on the head with your last comment. There is no doubt I made the right decision and stuck to it. I felt her run around issues would be a permanent thing besides her treatment was very nasty. But now in my 2nd marriage I have a live in mother in law who is a narc. What a small world we normal people live in.

    • @davidcoppotelli3957
      @davidcoppotelli3957 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah aren't they Special. Don't you just Love Them.

    • @clydebrundage3215
      @clydebrundage3215 2 роки тому +3

      @@davidcoppotelli3957 love them like a toothache

    • @davidjthayer7417
      @davidjthayer7417 2 роки тому +4

      @@clydebrundage3215 like a migraine, a hemroid, a ear infection ..........

    • @user-nhfdstgv
      @user-nhfdstgv 2 роки тому

      @@davidjthayer7417 😂true

  • @francescabento1705
    @francescabento1705 4 роки тому +12

    Yes they are always bored and always looking for exitment.

  • @BLITZY261
    @BLITZY261 4 роки тому +34

    I now liken being with a narcissist in those first few weeks and months as something very close to horses being broken in....then the narcissists rides you and uses and manipulates you with reins...until your awakening moment and the wild stallion breaks free from the shackles...and RUNS AND RUNS AND RUNS...AND KEEPS RUNNING.

  • @Nancy-yw1rr
    @Nancy-yw1rr 4 роки тому +77

    Their lack of impulse control is also why they mismanage money- they think they deserve whatever they want NOW.

    • @likhayadiko6045
      @likhayadiko6045 4 роки тому +2

      😭😭😭 My husband

    • @carriedillmann4455
      @carriedillmann4455 4 роки тому +4

      Likhaya Diko PLEASE MAKE HIM YOUR EX HUSBAND ASAP!!!

    • @heyitsme5060
      @heyitsme5060 4 роки тому +2

      U nailed it

    • @dorothyew7156
      @dorothyew7156 4 роки тому +3

      Yes. No "saving" in their vocubulary.

    • @XeninaCalifornia
      @XeninaCalifornia 4 роки тому +1

      @TheTruthMATTERS! A lot of them have no self control. Some have good control, but only about certain things.

  • @diamondwhite8459
    @diamondwhite8459 4 роки тому +17

    I have a Narcissistic friend who is intelligent enough to realise there a narcissist. Has a narcissistic girlfriend to who doesn’t realise she is one. There life is pleasure and fighting never a dull moment in there lives. Neither can blame themselves slept with nearly all each other’s friends lie endlessly on everything and support each other doing it. Never happy but made for each other.

  • @catherinevautier6215
    @catherinevautier6215 4 роки тому +7

    Yes always flirting in front of me, making excuses for the cheating everytime I would find out about cheating and telling him to get out, then he would say a few days later when he came back, I didn't know we were still together so I went out and cheated...because I got mad about the cheating...and around and around ot would go???!!! I felt dizzy over the last five years. He took advantage of my relationship with God and my goals to show mercy. Two months since he dis arded myself and our three year old daughter. Still feeling dizzy and crying alot but hopeful I will overcome. We deserve so much better. Him leaving is Gods saying enough! Today I was thinking about my self esteem is desolate these days. I felt it happening especially the last two years, but it really hit me this past month. I guess recognizing the DESOLATION that I am feeling is a good sign. Thank you for your help in understanding I am not alone. It's the fakeness of the good side that seems to be the hardest to grasp in your mind. This is some hard stuff to go through...even when our three year old says whetes daddy? It's like this sadness hits me that her dad will never really be there for her.I just say he went bye bye...I dont know what else to say..just try to cry away from the kids and keep things as good as possible for them and myself close to Gods healing promises.

  • @jojobonds2860
    @jojobonds2860 4 роки тому +14

    To show how devious my ex was , she actually asked me to marry her, unfortunately I did ,but I am free from her now 🙏🏾..I thank God we didn’t have any children together 🙏🏾..

  • @mq3177
    @mq3177 4 роки тому +7

    Impulse control is a big issue. Ex had addictions to gambling, porn, adultery and hoarding/spending.

  • @bonanonymouscrickett5231
    @bonanonymouscrickett5231 4 роки тому +3

    That's the game changer for me. If it's an agreement that's different but if he blindsides me it defiles the purity of what I felt. I do not give my body and soul to anyone unless I am hopeful of a future. It's called old school and it won't change.

  • @jencameron8124
    @jencameron8124 4 роки тому +18

    This is definitely one of THE best explanations I have heard on why Narcisists cheat. Thank you very much!

  • @komododragon4242
    @komododragon4242 3 роки тому +7

    You helped me release my emotional hold I had on my covert narcissistic wife.
    I was hanging on to pain and heartache. 17 years and 7 kids later her life is coming full circle.
    I'm moving on.
    Thanks again.

  • @fionarobinson4169
    @fionarobinson4169 4 роки тому +7

    Yes l know two narcissists that got together last year, boy was that TOXIC. She is now fighting to save her marriage, he moved onto another married woman broke up her marriage and has now moved away.....unbelievable. Female narcissist almost lost it all, husband, family and job.....no sympathy. They both bullied and gaslighted me, think it was a form of foreplay.......disgusting individuals......

    • @judyscheiber3661
      @judyscheiber3661 3 роки тому +1

      They love chaos and living a very dark life. It's a daily tear up. We seek happy calm lives and they want the opposite.

  • @dorothyew7156
    @dorothyew7156 4 роки тому +6

    You are so spot on. You described him 100%.Gosh, for the first time,someone undertsands what I have been through.

  • @mikeackerman1174
    @mikeackerman1174 4 роки тому +17

    Mine cheated at least 4 times as I figured out over 23 years. All the evidence points to it. I can’t prove it but I’ve always felt it in my gut.

    • @june-mariehamilton5455
      @june-mariehamilton5455 4 роки тому +3

      Mike Ackerman Trust your gut!

    • @june-mariehamilton5455
      @june-mariehamilton5455 4 роки тому

      Mike Ackerman they all do, but they want to keep controlling you because you are useful to them.

    • @mikeackerman1174
      @mikeackerman1174 4 роки тому

      June-marie Hamilton I’m getting divorced now but she’s now hiding the kids. Won’t let me see them. It’s been 5 months now. My lawyer keeps trying to get her in court but she keeps having her lawyer adjourn the hearing. Another narc tactic. I don’t care that her bf moved into my house she only did that to keep me away. I don’t go there to avoid a confrontation with him in front of my kids. Another narc tactic.

    • @june-mariehamilton5455
      @june-mariehamilton5455 4 роки тому +1

      That’s horrible for you because you don’t know what she is telling them, probably the start of a malicious smear campaign to make them turn against you, after all no narcissist wants to be reminded of their own bad behaviour. No one has a right to deliberately sabotage a child’s relationship with the other parent, but a narcissist will always do this. They have to adored by all, and will do and say anything they want, regardless of the truth, in order to bring this about. Does your lawyer understand about narcissism? Because he needs to and it sounds like he is being very slow in coming to grips with what is going on. He needs a wake-up call. Wish you all the very best and a happy trip to freedom.

    • @mikeackerman1174
      @mikeackerman1174 4 роки тому

      June-marie Hamilton mine is still controlling with my kids.

  • @razasyeda6054
    @razasyeda6054 4 роки тому +7

    I think once a narc has tasted the thrill of multiple narcissistic supply, even if they marry the supply they were cheating on you with, they WILL, again seek the thrill of dual supply even after marriage.

    • @bobbiwilliam6811
      @bobbiwilliam6811 4 роки тому

      To be honest no one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching it. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover kissing, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Texas, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable.contact him on his mobile phone, text,whats-app +1 (707) 622-5057. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth...

  • @briansture4353
    @briansture4353 Рік тому +2

    You have nailed it, Jill. I have been involved with a female narc that had all these traits for a very long time of my life and have known others.
    They all follow a similar pattern. It is about attraction control. Try and capture any unsuspecting male often a friend's husband to prove they still have the pulling power. Once conquered they dump, then onto the next. They usually keep their supply husband under strict control for security while they play around. To them it is all a game of one-up-man-ship on other females, I'm better than you I can have yours anytime. They choose softer-natured males and bomb them with sex then abandon them often leaving them totally devastated. The male can do nothing if he opens his mouth he loses everything. It is the great power some females have. When they age and their looks fail to have that earlier life attraction they become bitter. When they meet a younger male they become way over the top with super niceness. It's so false!
    Usually, the young male doesn't get netted which pisses off the old female narc, especially when his very attractive girlfriend appears.

  • @EnchantedSeashells
    @EnchantedSeashells 4 роки тому +27

    Best ever explanation. Thank you.

  • @brianterence3211
    @brianterence3211 3 роки тому +3

    Excellent explanation. I gained my first insight when I watched the Woody Allen movie
    called " Anything Else ". The symptoms of narcissism were revealed. However your
    comment provides underlying cause. One thing I should add is that the narcissists
    will never change their behaviour no matter how hard you try to change it.

  • @santoparfano1910
    @santoparfano1910 2 роки тому +3

    Jill what a clear and concise way to describe this dynamic in a narcissists tendency to cheat! I'm a trained psychotherapist and you clarified this for me unlike any other resource. Thank you!

  • @tangerinefizz11
    @tangerinefizz11 4 роки тому +67

    I think that my narcissistic ex-stepfather left my mom for his current wife, because he felt emasculated by my mom. My mom has always been an independent, strong, and competent woman. In the beginning, he enjoyed the advantages that came with this. For example, his credit was crap, but my mom's was good, so she was able to sign on a pickup truck he wanted. Mom also owned her own home, while he had previously been living in rentals. She was also a rock who consoled and supported him when he told his sob stories about how unfair the world was to him.
    Unfortunately for my ex-stepfather, though, my mom didn't become compliant or submissive towards him or treat him like the stereotypical "man of the house" when he moved in. She didn't take his crap, and she gave as good as she got when he threw his tantrums. When he left my mom, he said, "Can't nobody be a man around you!"
    He's been married to the other woman now for nearly 20 years. I think the reason why they're still together is because she puts up with the crap my mom didn't. I say this, because I heard that she once came to work with bruises on her face. She also supposedly once got into a cat fight with another woman over my ex-stepfather. My mom has always had too much self-respect to live like that.

    • @jolly7728
      @jolly7728 4 роки тому +5

      My gosh! Sorry to hear what your family had to go through. I'm sure you are glad he's finally gone, but the emotional turmoil he left in the wake of his departure will take some time to recover from, as you know. I have become relationship-adverse because of experiences like your mom's, and I'm okay with that.

    • @tangerinefizz11
      @tangerinefizz11 4 роки тому +4

      @@jolly7728 Thank you. Many years have passed since he left my mom, but as you know, it's not exactly something you can forget.

    • @hectorcastro9768
      @hectorcastro9768 4 роки тому

      @@jolly7728 you can think what you want to

    • @aleena386
      @aleena386 4 роки тому +5

      The same happened to me ,

    • @helenhighwater5313
      @helenhighwater5313 4 роки тому +5

      Your mom was lucky to get away from him. Never, never, never give a guy money of cosign a loan for him, ever. If they can't bring as much to the table as you do, ditch them, period. They can only bring you down, you'll never bring them up.

  • @anneroarty6473
    @anneroarty6473 3 роки тому +10

    An excellent video it was accurate. Everything you said happened to me. Yes he got very bored. He had many many affairs. I put up with it as I did not want to be on my own. Abig mistake. Going through divorce at 70 years. I wish I had left years ago. Better late than nevet

    • @santoparfano1910
      @santoparfano1910 2 роки тому

      Good for you Anne!! It's never too late. My grandmother was 75 when she went back to college abd she completed her masters degree. Age is just a number and today's 70 is the new 40..👍

    • @anneroarty6473
      @anneroarty6473 2 роки тому +1

      @@santoparfano1910 Thank you so much for your kind words. Everyone says I only look late 50 I certainly don't feel 70 ish Praise God. Amen and Amen.

  • @straightcashhomey1261
    @straightcashhomey1261 2 роки тому +1

    This is the most accurate description of my ex girlfriend I have viewed on UA-cam. I have known all this information, but the way you presented it allows me not to personalize their behavior or “blame” myself. These people are emotionally out of control. Thank you!

  • @henryvanschalkwyk7139
    @henryvanschalkwyk7139 Рік тому +2

    Even as they do this things, they will never admit to it. It's their partners fault that they are having an affair.

  • @jolly7728
    @jolly7728 4 роки тому +8

    That's what I'm talking about, Jill. Your direct (no-nonsense, take no prisoners) approach to this critically important topic provides absolute clarity to the narc's odious cheating behavior once and for all. As for lack of impulse control, it looms large in my situation. I've experienced blatant, in your face, flirtation and attempts of my narc to "hook up" right in front of me. She can't control herself and doesn't care about my feelings one bit. Even when shopping for day-to-day stuff, she'd often load up her shopping cart with items and then just leave it in an aisle and go. If she sees something she wants, she has to have it, if only for a little while. I basically don't go anywhere with her now to avoid her insane behavior, and I've never been happier.

    • @tengugod
      @tengugod 3 роки тому +1

      That’s something a woman I was “seeing” used to do. She would talk about herself being broke but one day I saw her on the shop floor (retail job) grabbing lingerie and putting them in the shopping bag. I had a look at what she was buying, teased her and went on my way. She got off work early because she had an earlier shift than me. I make my rounds on the shop floor and see a shopping bag in the corner …it’s the bag she had with the same stuff in it. I always thought it was weird!

  • @carlajohnson9369
    @carlajohnson9369 4 роки тому +5

    Your lectures and advice has helped me while recovering. Now he's getting older and losing his charm. I'm a pretty low key and even keeled person. He brought CHAOS into my life and not only destroyed our family, but influenced the children and he brought shame and despair into our lives. He left with not only my financial stability, but cleaned out the children's as well.

    • @shamimtemour
      @shamimtemour 2 роки тому

      😔❤️

    • @nriada1156
      @nriada1156 2 роки тому

      My ex wife took our car, our son and cleared out our bank account and left. She wouldve ruined my other 2 kids but i raised them to be exceptional adults. I feel your pain.

  • @tonydenial1485
    @tonydenial1485 3 роки тому +3

    You nailed it, boredom, this was my biggest reservation when my recently departed Nex came to stay with me a year ago, I broached the subject with her because I live in the Spanish agricultural countryside where I can go 3-4 days without seeing someone and then it's only the occasional fellow dog walker or a worker in the fields, at the time of raising this point with her, she vehemently denied it would be too quiet, she claimed she would love the life, but I noticed the mask starting to slip 7 months in, going out more on her own for any excuse and other small signs, now she's gone and my life is back to, stable, unchaotic, quiet, my dogs are more relaxed as there is no stomping around, banging about, and I'm happier, if that's boring, well so be it, I call it Karma !

  • @heatherlomaxmusic4776
    @heatherlomaxmusic4776 4 роки тому +14

    So true...I was a part of the “narcissists garage”. Fell in love..🙄 So did he -supposedly. I think the other thing is that they want to make sure they have someone in their life so they are not abandoned and alone in the end.

    • @judyscheiber3661
      @judyscheiber3661 3 роки тому +3

      They seek anyone who will give them attention. Even medical professionals. Mine was always whining about something to his doctor until the doctor told me he's coming in for the dog licking him. They look bi sexual but it's because it's anyone who will pay attention to them.

  • @gsincorp
    @gsincorp 4 роки тому +22

    Yesss! My narcissist wife of over 16 years recently left( discarded) me and our 3 children. She was a serial cheater (Over 14 men confirmed)! Terrible 😞😞

    • @bosschedda_
      @bosschedda_ 3 роки тому +4

      Wow man. Sorry 2 hear.

    • @davidcoppotelli3957
      @davidcoppotelli3957 2 роки тому +3

      You, take care of you and your Kids Nail that Door Shut. Never let her in Never.

    • @gsincorp
      @gsincorp 2 роки тому +3

      @@davidcoppotelli3957 Bless you Brotha! Update: She with me one year ago Christmas like a big dummy, she came back crazy again Morrissey send be gone Christmas believable or not... The trauma bond is no joke: I was so foolish! Never ever again

    • @davidcoppotelli3957
      @davidcoppotelli3957 2 роки тому +2

      @@gsincorp You take care you, and your Kids. Stay on your Grind your Purpose God and the Holy Spirit watch over the Good People. Things will work out. Your not alone there's a whole bunch of US out here. Do your Job don't Wavier. You be with someone 10 times better Believe it. BOOM

    • @gsincorp
      @gsincorp 2 роки тому +1

      @@davidcoppotelli3957 Bless You my Brotha, THE LORD bless you! 😥😥😢😞😞😞😞😞

  • @aungar2403
    @aungar2403 4 роки тому +4

    Yes. You nailed it! Serial cheaters.

    • @aungar2403
      @aungar2403 4 роки тому +2

      What happens when they get old?

  • @paulhoward5500
    @paulhoward5500 3 роки тому +2

    omg you nailed it, so many affairs from my ex partner she absolutely had no guilt what so ever , total look in her eye of not giving a shit, stood by her for 10 years like a fool

  • @Latinna072
    @Latinna072 4 роки тому +5

    I lived with a pathological liar and chronic cheater omg!! Over and over and over again! I thought I was enough and clearly I was not. He cheated even when things seemed to be going well. I was living with him and he cheated during this pandemic. Online dating....I loved him so much and I really tried. It work

  • @aanmerie
    @aanmerie 4 роки тому +7

    We were on good terms when he just didn't come home for a few days. Found out the other supply ended up calling police on him for getting loud. Now I don't want him. He's going nuts w no supply .

  • @toneman335
    @toneman335 4 роки тому +7

    The narc needs the attention they get from cheating to get the false feeling of validation and approval which , in their mind, makes them feel that they have value and that they are special.

    • @kikib7310
      @kikib7310 4 роки тому

      A Special Kind Of Narc Ho Nasty Azzes

  • @bernitacenteno1326
    @bernitacenteno1326 4 роки тому +1

    Some normal people can learn what having empathy means, and they practice being empathic and that is to me, very good.

  • @philmorrison6898
    @philmorrison6898 4 роки тому +17

    Nailed it again!

  • @nriada1156
    @nriada1156 2 роки тому +5

    My ex wife was a 100% Narcissist. Your description of her is spot on. I am the complete opposite of her. Thsnk you so much for putting a name to her condition. I always knew she had a personality disorder but just couldn't put a name to it.

  • @keithfreeman5840
    @keithfreeman5840 4 роки тому +8

    That’s the best explanation I’ve ever heard about this. Thank you very much for your videos.

  • @spagone77
    @spagone77 4 роки тому +2

    You described Narcissists perfectly. Excellent Job Thank you

  • @sonnyca
    @sonnyca 4 роки тому +42

    If a man has to try hard, move heaven and earth to keep a woman, she’s not a keeper.

    • @curli-lettey4319
      @curli-lettey4319 4 роки тому +15

      Same for a man.

    • @judyscheiber3661
      @judyscheiber3661 3 роки тому +3

      It's not a gender issue. Same for a male.

    • @Areutherehello
      @Areutherehello 2 роки тому

      Same in reverse. People, if you have the right person in your life, you shouldn't have to worry about constantly fighting to keep them in your life and changing who you are to keep them wanting you.

  • @philmorrison6898
    @philmorrison6898 4 роки тому +9

    If you can get away from a narcissist with your life, be thankful! Your self esteem will will return! You’ll remember who you are! No Contact is the only way! Namaste!

  • @markgerrard383
    @markgerrard383 2 роки тому +1

    5 x nails squarely concussed.. & who likely feel their graves have been danced over too FTM..
    Spot on Jill..
    Excellent.. 👏

  • @archerten
    @archerten 4 роки тому +4

    Insightful from the point of view of my fathers behaviour, so destructive, my mother struggled to recover after he left her for his secretary. I as a victim of his violent abuse when i was a young child, continue my life long journey

    • @helenhighwater5313
      @helenhighwater5313 4 роки тому +2

      Whenever a narcissist dumps you, consider it a huge favor. The crucial thing is learning to not need them, therapy is essential.

  • @staril.l.c.staril.l.c.4574
    @staril.l.c.staril.l.c.4574 4 роки тому +1

    They will continue negative and chaos and destruction as time goes on with or without.

  • @LRS11B
    @LRS11B 9 місяців тому

    Validation is what a narc seeks. They're masters at the game.

  • @UdoraJones
    @UdoraJones Рік тому

    Thanks Jill for your help in understanding Narcissist cheating one lesson I've learned from these cheaters they always met their match in the streets

  • @jillmacdonald3552
    @jillmacdonald3552 3 роки тому +1

    Have dealt with this Narc for over 8 years,can't get rid of him!!
    I don't have proof he has cheated but I 'know' he has
    Feel nothing but contempt for him now

  • @handssolo7980
    @handssolo7980 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you for all your hard work in helping others Jill, you are beautiful in so many ways, and nothing less than an enlightened spirit.
    I'm 55, but if I were 20 years younger. 😊

    • @alysonlentini1615
      @alysonlentini1615 4 роки тому

      I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +17076225057 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ?We have 2 kids together
      it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger

  • @robinellison
    @robinellison 4 роки тому +12

    He talked about the thrill of cheating. And that it wasn't random sex alone that would do it for him. That he needed to be in a committed relationship in order to get something from random sex. The thrill was in the act of cheating.

    • @jlied0368
      @jlied0368 3 роки тому +2

      Committed 🤣🤣🤣

    • @judyscheiber3661
      @judyscheiber3661 3 роки тому +2

      Yep. It's because they CAN cheat. That's the orgasm.

  • @LoneSoul-vy7lp
    @LoneSoul-vy7lp 3 роки тому +1

    Man Jill , I feel like I need to send you a check for all the great therapy I’ve received over the past 72hrs , this is the video I really needed to see , to help me understand all the cheating she did in our short 3 year marriage. Thank you again and God bless !

  • @zaneyenny
    @zaneyenny 4 роки тому +58

    Can someone broadcast this to my ex wife and her entire family?

    • @bobbiwilliam6811
      @bobbiwilliam6811 4 роки тому +2

      TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what, that is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (Cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Imessages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share his phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this great hacker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. Thank me, later...#Stay-safe & Stay-home

    • @bullsnutsoz
      @bullsnutsoz 4 роки тому +4

      Oh hell I feel for you I left exactly the same 20 years ago and the entire narc family are still chasing my ass for exposing them all..They will never stop, once you unmask them its balls to wall attacks from flying monkeys

    • @bookerlo1977
      @bookerlo1977 4 роки тому +2

      That’s good......but it is going to go over their heads.

    • @zaneyenny
      @zaneyenny 4 роки тому +2

      Logic and reasoning is not something narcs understand. Explaining anything is a waste of time. No contact is the only way as hard as that is to understand.

    • @sparta23dh
      @sparta23dh 4 роки тому

      How many of these people are out there?

  • @James-is2dr
    @James-is2dr Рік тому

    Yup, been down that road. Finally had enough and asked her to leave.

  • @kingarthur7250
    @kingarthur7250 2 роки тому +1

    16 years of marriage ...it was utter misery. A narc cheats and will blame you for it...whatever they do to you they will say its your fault. I feel sorry for all the men that end up with her going forward. So pleased l free now. Haven't been in a relationship since....l honestly would be to worried to end up with another one. I was suicidal at end. As a man there is so little support out there...and these types of women getvaway with it moving onto next victim with no repercussions.

  • @toneman335
    @toneman335 4 роки тому +3

    Very wise and insightful video on the mindset of a cheating Narc....thanks!

  • @jimcole6423
    @jimcole6423 3 роки тому

    This describes many in the public safety field (nurses, firefighters, police).

  • @anneaires3984
    @anneaires3984 Рік тому

    Summed it up in a nutshell.....wow, everything I needed to hear and every bit of it true! Many thanks for waking me the hell up!!!!!!❤️

  • @chriscripplercruz1833
    @chriscripplercruz1833 2 роки тому

    As a disabled veteran with a TBI I want to thank you for making me see the light I was left 4 time and each one was because of a affair and I took him back and when I started watching your videos I realized what was happening to me it's like every single video is like a grocery check list and checking everything off the list one by one like the video about when you finally leave

  • @charlottemuller2233
    @charlottemuller2233 4 роки тому +11

    Special,need constant attention!!!

    • @michaelbailey8478
      @michaelbailey8478 4 роки тому +4

      Narcissists need constant attention but are incapable of giving attention.

    • @michaelbailey8478
      @michaelbailey8478 4 роки тому +4

      Narcissists expect complete loyalty but are incapable of giving loyalty.

  • @toneman335
    @toneman335 4 роки тому +7

    My understanding is the Narc needs approval and validated to feel special. They see someone that wants to have sex with them is the ultimate form of approval and validation . Sadly, this feeling is short lived so they need to do it over and over and over.

    • @razasyeda6054
      @razasyeda6054 4 роки тому

      Agreed. My ex covert narc fiancé was way too worried about his “performance” and he’s only 23. The other woman was giving him sex and that’s why I was discarded and she became the wife. For him, marriage = sex. They really are immature

  • @Professorclown
    @Professorclown 4 роки тому +3

    Great, well explained, comprehensive description of just WHY they do this, thank you for sharing!👍

  • @FusionHowie
    @FusionHowie Рік тому +1

    I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for you and this wonderful channel. I often get scared when I watch your videos, almost as if you have explained in great detail of the monster, I have lived with for over 20+ years !
    My interpretation of your life saving information, you explained how to find the 666 on the scalp of my soon to be x partner. I hope the Damin movie reference wasn't too weird :) Peace from Detroit MI. THANK YOU JILL !!!

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you for this, you explained it clearly...lots made sense. Great Channel.

  • @louisafoster1640
    @louisafoster1640 4 роки тому +3

    Mine left me, for who he cheated on me with. He wanted to keep me in his life though, even before I knew about the other woman. Fortunately I was strong enough to tell him to go away! I guess he knew deep down, although I was trying to help him, I was oh so tired of him!

  • @drnobs3315
    @drnobs3315 4 роки тому +4

    Boy I had recent girl friend that I met cheating on her husband but she the narcissist was the biggest liar in the planet we would argue because she would never apologize or recognize her flaws and mistake.

  • @bluecollarlit
    @bluecollarlit 4 роки тому +3

    I have always loved the name Jill, wish my name was Jill! Haha... good videos, so helpful.
    I have a theory: as our society has evolved and we stopped tolerating domestic violence -- you can call the police about that, now -- many narcissistic abusers now express their toxicity in the workplace.
    No one called 911 about that! Yet.
    I think we need some reform in this area.

  • @pchladkova6242
    @pchladkova6242 Рік тому +1

    Thank you very much for explaining that subject everything makes sense to me and I had that feeling about my ex !!!

  • @byronbutterfield4006
    @byronbutterfield4006 4 роки тому +3

    Your best video to date. Keep up the content. You rock. Love you and a big thank you.

  • @terryjoeljunior
    @terryjoeljunior 4 роки тому

    This is on point! Happened to me many times and now I share some real life stories that have happened to me on my channel! Spreading this knowledge is so important for people especially the youth!

  • @VoxLesPaul
    @VoxLesPaul 4 роки тому +1

    7:26 Makes so much sense. Thank you.

  • @wilddogge
    @wilddogge 4 роки тому +1

    Damn, I'm crying while watching this. Why people like this exists?

  • @amandajohnson-williams7718
    @amandajohnson-williams7718 2 роки тому +2

    Very good content thank you!! 💟💟💟
    The 3 Es are a great way to remember!
    Entitlement
    Exploitative
    Empathy(lack)
    👍👍👍🇬🇧

  • @glowinthedarkministry
    @glowinthedarkministry 5 місяців тому +1

    Narcissists are NASTY!!!

  • @frankcrawford416
    @frankcrawford416 4 роки тому +7

    We all need a come to Jesus moment.

  • @more444store6
    @more444store6 4 роки тому

    You have such clarity. I have listened to a lot of people, but you are the clearest, and have a deep understanding of what is going on. They are the most bored people I have ever seen. Everything bores them. You are so right about them, and so cheating is their thing. They have the double life. My best friend has 3 children who are my husbands little doppelgangers. I wonder how many children he has out there.

    • @jlied0368
      @jlied0368 3 роки тому

      So sorry @photoshop girl you are right they live double lives. My ex had a child at 61 yrs old with his colleague and a so called friend of mine, she came to our home and we went dog walking at the beach with our children as two families. She divorced her husband then had a planned pregnancy with my narc husband (on separation he told our daughter took her a year to get pregnant). They loved the triangulation, got off on it I think. I saw the baby at 4 months then again at 18 months, by then she looked just like him and I confronted him. I now believe he may have got another woman pregnant many years ago. Kids are supply to them too, especially when young, as soon as they get to be teens and have a mind of their own the narc losses all interest. He has been NC with our 2 grown daughters and myself for 2 years, now he knows we have a grandchild he stalks our house in his car with his lover and their child in car 🤷 so sick !!!

  • @user-ju1qd3ok2g
    @user-ju1qd3ok2g 4 роки тому

    This was spot on Jill. Exactly describes the mind frame of my Narc.

  • @NeilDuly
    @NeilDuly Рік тому

    Thanks. These help a lot. Wish I’d have known this in my 20’s

  • @grisel1182
    @grisel1182 4 роки тому +1

    So they become routine and hate routine 🤦🏼‍♀️. That wanting and repelling ughhhhh

  • @rebeccahermes9970
    @rebeccahermes9970 3 роки тому +1

    Very insecure Scared of themselves Too. Wow cant care Or have Empathy towards other WOW SMH .... Not that moral they don't have not that Value. Thanks for The Info Maam. Yes😊😊👍💪💪💪💪

  • @peat_dont_repeat
    @peat_dont_repeat 3 роки тому

    Great color on the doors.. I think there is money in it fur them and gifts also.

  • @susanneuniewski
    @susanneuniewski 4 роки тому +1

    Hi Jill! Hugs from Sweden!
    This was so good. I understand his last textmesseges so well now. The push and pull for four hours. Yes I wanna be with you but cant promise anything, no best we end it here, yes I wanna give us a chanse, dont be sad, this is bot a closure, it's better for us to put this on ice right now....😨I thaught i was going crazy!

  • @endyusana7878
    @endyusana7878 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks for give me the clarification ✅