You can use iPads educationally and to have interactive learning with your kids. I'm so upset that technology has improved so vastly that parents started to use it to neglect their children's emotional and social needs.
@@onyx-alice8191That’s what my cousin did with his daughters. They had those kiddie tablets that are strictly filled with educational applications. They also weren’t allowed to watch tv until they reached a certain age and it shows. They don’t watch tv unless it’s a family movie night or if they’re already low energy. They get bored! They’re usually outside and are both in sports so they’re super active kids.
We are seeing a snowball effect on child development. 1. Millennials having children later means the child’s grandparents are getting too old to help with small children 2. Both parents are overworked. They aren’t able to mentally/emotionally pour into their children because they are drained. Hence the reliance of electronics to teach/entertain children 3. Lack of support for families in the workplace. Moms and dads are unable to spend more time raising children due to long commutes, mandatory work obligations, lack of pto, lack of maternity leave etc 4. Parental guilt- parents allowing bad behavior, spoiling children because they are guilty for being emotionally unavailable.
More like a value-system problem. These parents take their kids to Roosters or Texas Roadhouse. Both parents and children are all on their iPads and phones.
I'm the principal of a preschool/nursery in Japan. I think some of the comments are barking up the wrong tree with the iPad/neglectful/permissive parenting because we have that problem here and I don't see the same behavioral problems. We have the opposite problem to be honest. Children still wear their masks because they want to be invisible. I think it's a cultural/societal issue. Have a look at the personality types that are being worshipped and the models that the children have around them. What is the general background commentary about listening to those around you/authority? Are those that contribute/work with others being celebrated? or those that take and ignore what people feel/think? Do they see that working hard has benefits? or gaming the system and ignoring what others think for your 'truth'? Is being a victim the best way to be heard and get what you want? Or having a goal and working for it despite the obstacles? Are we taught to respect teachers? or be suspicious of them? I haven't lived outside of Japan for 17 years so I can't make any solid arguments but the solution isn't as simple as "parent better". There have always been bad parents.
Also, that teacher who said she was in a unique position for teaching for 10 years without having a child of her own should have one. I had my first child after ten years of teaching, and it BLEW MY MIND. Just like being bilingual, you can't know it until you've done it. I thought I had all the answers and would be an awesome parent until that little H-Bomb dropped on my life😅😅.
As a ballerina who started ballet when I was 7; the first story really upsets me. You HAVE to be quiet, observant, and respectful to your teachers or your teachers will scold you in front of the entire class. Respect for your teachers and fellow students is everything in ballet. Even the more disobedient students kept their lips shut because they didn’t want to get humiliated in front of everyone. Sure there are some terrible teachers, but I was fortunate to have great ones.
@@kjsaaaaaaaa I guess you would say that I am a Ballet dancer because I didn’t get payed for being with them or doing their shows. But I was one of the top 5 dancers there. I sadly quit when covid started and moved….sad times
To be fair, 7 is a very different stage of development than 5. I see the difference between 5 year old and 7 year olds at kung fu class and their ability to focus is very different.
The TV was a better nanny than the Ipad because the TV didn't always have something we liked on at all times. This forced us to find other things to do. Also taught us time management, had to be back to the TV in time to watch what you actually wanted. The internet is infinite on demand at all times. There is no forced down time with the internet.
Also, TV was something you could easily watch together as a family and it was easier for parents to check what content was on and set proper limits to it. On an ipad or phone, its a more isolated activity and its easy to go unsupervised and see content that is low quality.
I was just thinking about this. And how my dad made use of what was available and would have me watch cartoons with captions on so when I was a kid I was picking up on how words would sound as they went long As an adult I think this was great if my dad and it makes me laugh because he loves karaoke and I basically had that but with kids tv
That's funny because kids on tiktok have come up with the term "time blindness" and they're acting like it's some kind of mental illness. So be nice to them ok?
My dad is a sixth grade teacher, and he has been for like 26 years. He’s not a boomer type that says “kids these days”, but he has definitely seen the decline in comprehension, communication, respect, etc. in just the past ~5 years. He said the parents of disrespectful children are becoming more common and more entitled and stuck up too and their children are the direct result.
Can I ask you if these symptoms could also be a lack of fathers around them? Of course I have a bias opinion, but I wanted to ask people like your dad if my biased suspicions has any credibility.
@@CloudWalkBeta I'm not the one you were asking, but I myself did work in school and currently do work in kindergarten and judging by my experiences - nope. The vast majority of children here do have both their parents and many of them tend do be frustrated, have difficulties to focus, to listen, to be nice to the other kids. It doesn't really follow a pattern. Some kids with a single parent are very well behaved, others are a bit all over the place, because the parent that stayed feels that they need to compensate for the absentee parent. Some kids with both their parents are very well behaved and relaxed, others are all over the place, because they don't know boundaries, have to be their parents best "friend". We also do have kids from all kinds of backgrounds (poor, middle class, rather rich, and so on) and even this isn't often an indicator anymore how the kid will act. But overall I have to say - most of the kids are pretty normal and nice to interact with.
I'm a childfree millennial, but one thing I think could be impacting kids that isn't just due to millennial parents not teaching their kids is the fact that grandparents are not nearly as involved as they used to be. When I was kid, I spent tons of time at my grandparents' house. My grandma would read to me a lot. She was a SAHM, and then the main childcare provider for her children's kids. Most millennials' parents are still working because they can't afford to retire, or if they aren't, they're focused on having fun and aren't that involved with the grandkids. Add to that the fact that both parents have to work full time now just to make ends meet, and there is a big deficit in time able to be spent with the kids.
Grandparents are older than ever now as maternal age continues to climb. My grandmother was 42 when I was born, she had the energy to run around with me and I'd be sent off to spend month long stretches with her, which I loved. Now my mom is approaching 60 and still waiting on my sister and I to make it happen, same thing with her siblings and my cousins
Reasons like this is why I’m perfectly fine with people being child free by choice 🤷🏾♂️ if you don’t have the time to raise them or aren’t 100% down to raise a child, don’t have one
Yeah and my cousin has two 5 year olds currently and they spend a lot of time on tablets. Parents work so hard and get their own time by putting kids in front of the tv, games, or tablets. I wasn’t allowed to do that when I was a kid - never seen an episode of the Simpsons because I wasn’t allowed to watch much tv. I have no clue if it actually made a difference in how I ended up but I see the opposite happening these days and it makes me wonder.
Yeah man those were the days! My grandma might as well be Gen z tho cuz yo…. She lets her grandkids do whatever!! I haven’t even heard her tell off my sisters. My sisters are barely in highschool and have so much time on their phones. I remember my screen time wasn’t as bad as them when I were in my teens. I was definitely naughtier in other aspects, but I respected my great grandparents much more than I did my grandma. It’s bad man, my niece who rarely comes over…. Only likes seeing my grandma cuz nan lets her go on her phone and gets to choose what she does with her day.
As a millennial, I think it's that my generation wanted their parents to be their "friends" and not their parents and so now they want to be their kids' "friends" and not really their parent. I grew up with a lot of girls saying they wanted this, and they were influenced into this thought by MTV (date my mom, etc) and myspace.
@@moonknight4053as a mother to a 17 year old daughter and 8 year old son, it's my duty and obligation to mother my children! They require nurturing, structure, guidance and support. Your children should be able to trust you and know that you'll guide them through life in a way that benefits them the best. I'm their Mom, not their friend. Friends come and go but Mom is always there!
I see this so much, parents wanting to be their children's best friends... and now this has been taken to the next level with the "boy moms" thing. Parents are fostering their own needs in their relationship with their children. While I will say other people seem to see my relationship with my kids as being friend-like and casual, it's still my job to teach my kids how to be a human, and I can't be that way if I'm their friend. I've seen the same thing in the workplace, where someone wants to be your friend, not your boss, so it makes it very difficult for management to do what they're supposed to do beccause they're too caught up in being people's friends.
That is a good point about the tv shows, never thought of that. I feel like my children are my friends in a way, but they still need to be disciplined and they know that. I keep it real with my friends who are not my children, why wouldn't I do that with my kids? lol
I'm a millennial parent with an alpha child. I don't feel like you can make any big predictions when they're this young. But it doesn't look hopeful, here are some observations I've made: 1. There's kids entering primary school still in nappies 2. There's kids who aren't very articulate and totally illiterate 3. There's a few kids per class who are just outright feral, 1 in 10 anecdotally. 4. There's a significant minority of kids who show all the signs of mental neglect, they'll attach themselves to you as a temporary parent if they see you playing with your kid. 5. Millennial parents do partake in some boomerisms but with a more LMFAO/American Pie paint job, if that makes sense
Still in NAPPIES??? Dude, I know children can have health issues and developmental delay, but if that's not the individual case then... I am shocked and appalled.
Say what you want, but what broke my heart was seeing my niece, raised by my sister and her "wife" (2 women) latch onto me and call me daddy. She was crying out for a father figure. I had to redirect, of course, but it was sad.
@imychaplinsky gen Alpha still in nappies because they are literally infants. I have a gen Alpha 2 year old. I honestly wish people would familiarize themselves with the generations when trying to discuss thrm.
I'm a teacher at an academy for little kids. When I tell you they DRAIN me, I'm not kidding. They're so disrespectful, can't follow instructions, are barely performing well in reading/writing, and their parents blame everything on us teachers.
Maybe the teachers messed up the parents' think about it😂 Mortimer Adler was talking about this in the 70s and probably even before then. He wrote a book about it in the 40s, and it was republished in the 70s.
I'm not trying to blame you. Most teachers weren't educated well at teaching. Read some of his books. Please help change the education system. I see more and more teachers say it starts in the home. Umm, if that were true, why did we need educators in the first place. The front lines are educators who teach people how to read and write and give them a true liberal arts education by showing them the Great Books of the West.
I'm not a teacher but I work in a school. We have multiple kids that we can't even take on fieldtrips because they are so out of control that we literally cannot take responsibility for them in that kind of situation.
@@superwormhalz2607 I understand what you're saying, because it's true that we're teachers for a reason. I should've specified that I work at an English academy for kids to learn English. I only have 2 hours a week with each kid, and I have around 15 kids per group. As bad as it sounds, my job is to teach them English with the little time I have. I can't spend my time teaching each one how to read and write (in both Spanish AND English), and manners on top of that. I really wish I could spend more time with them, but that's when the parent's responsibility comes in. I had a little girl who I suspected had dyslexia and maybe ADHD, I saw a bunch of videos about it and even gave her some extra spelling/counting activities. When I showed the mother the results she brushed off saying that her daughter's school had said something similar, but that she's just a child. Then the mother pulled the girl from the academy. Yes, it's our job to teach children, but we can't also be doing the work the parents have to be doing at home.
@superwormhalz2607 I would imagine it's more administration's fault than the teachers. There are teachers who have been great for decades quitting because of the children. The parents expect teachers to parent them while not allowing them to have any authority at all. You can't expect someone to run a classroom when they can't even give their students a 0 for not participating because the parents will flip tf out on you and admin will come after you. They literally are not allowed to do their jobs well.
I think it's a more complex issue, because on one hand there are plenty of gen Z and Millennial parents, that are really good parents, and on the other hand we've got people, who aren't really fit to be parents, ending up as parents.
What's new? Child services and foster care exist because people who are not fit to be parents have been having kids for a very long time. Why would it be any different with Millennials?
You can say that about any generation that has ever lived. The point here is that Millennials believe that having no authority is a good parenting style.
Just wanna say I’m one of the oldest gen z (98’) and I’m only 25, so not many gen z are having kids yet and the ones that are don’t have kids beyond toddler age.
My mom is a teacher and she is shocked that kids in elementary school are still in diapers and need their food cut for them. She has said that the problem is that parents now are helicopter parents in some areas (not letting their kids learn themselves and sometimes the hard way) and being negligent in other ways (thinking all discipline is abuse, not reading to their kids at home, not educating kids at home and expecting the teacher to do 100%) simultaneously. Parents now seem to take a hands off approach when kids actually need someone to teach them to do something or not do something, but have a hands on approach in anything that ruins their child's "image". Obviously this isn't applicable to everyone, but it's a big enough problem that schools are regularly having meeting about how to deal with feral children and crazy, emotinally unstable parents--something they've never had to do before.
Yeah, that sounds exactly like what I'd expect from my elder Millennial peers... Permissive in some ways and overbearing in others. Exactly like our parents were. Yknow, those old folks that most Millennials and Gen Z have been encouraged to remove from their life, along with any semblance of a relationship with a two parent household? Gen Z has zero conflict resolution skills. It's no wonder these new generations are going to struggle. They have no discipline or consistency because their parents didn't bother to learn any of it or bother to actually heal their childhood trauma. We have big old children in baby boomers who raised big children in Millennials who are now raising their own stunted children. What does it have in common? A refusal to heal and a ton of excuses for why. Children need structure and redirection. Right now, the children dominate the family, being spoiled to their own detriment, because we have parents that don't enforce boundaries. There's such a thing as too much of a good thing. Never allowing your child any discomfort does not make you a hero. It means you're raising someone who will never understand how to regulate or cope with life.
COVID did far more damage I believe personally than most realize. My dad quit being a middle school teacher about a month ago because the kids were soooo far behind developmentally according to him
I think it began a few generations back and just got more extreme with each generation. TBH, I think it started with mine, the so called "Generation X" though it depends very much on when and where you were from how likely this was to be an issue. I'm from 1970, right in the middle, and I remember when some of the new modes of parenting was circulating in the 2000's I was shocked. They seemed utterly confused as to what parenting was about, and were almost treating it more as if it was about themselves. Not wanting to be seen as neglectful so being overprotective, not allowing kids to do anything that might not be "safe" or that could possibly hurt them, as if a scraped knee was the end of the world. A child had to be happy all the time, as an unhappy child was obviously a bad reflection on them- so they would often end up not enforce boundaries or consequences. Yet at the same time too busy with trying to make ends meet to be that ideal parent so often tried to spoil the child out of guilt which just made it worse. All in all it created a generation of entitled people, who were even more prone to raising their children the same way; helicopter parents, spoiled and entitled. It was after all what they had been taught was parenting, and was being reinforced as a social norm. And will continue until there is enough of a countermovement in the other direction. Which probably, being reactionary, will go too far in the opposite direction.
Somewhere around 1985, Gen X parents forgot that raising a child is a job - a legitimate job. You are a teacher, mentor, provider, friend, taxi service, chef, financial controller. Your child is a living, growing human being and your family is a business of a sort. My parents were GREAT providers. We always had money. But they were TERRIBLE teachers, mentors and friends. I was raised on Nintendo and PlayStations. I do NOT want that to happen EVER again. They forgot we were PEOPLE. Not pets. And I think Millennial children forgot that too.
This is new? It didn't start around 1985... Historical primary source documents seem to show a connection with parents no longer being teachers right along with the start of compulsory schools... so this is a LONG term generational issue, not something that's new as of the 80s.
Gen X were small kids and adolescents in 1985 so we were far off from being parents 😂 but I agree that some Gen Xers started this spoil your child give them everything teach them nothing helicopter parenting. I think it was an extreme response to how baby boomers raised us which was basically we were fed and hit and only got negative attention from our parents 😢
@mickeyc2137 Gen X starts in 65, so by 85, those folks would 20, so they could, if they started young, have kids. Gen X is 1965-1980, so it's not a small range, and I know people a few years older than me (I'm a few months too young for Gen X) that had kids in high school or their late teens and early 20s. There's a lot of us elder millennials raised by Gen X. For that matter, I'm a elder millennial parent of a 20 year old Gen Z human. A majority of my millennial friends are either child-free or have kids that ate Gen Z. I think I personally only know a couple of millennials that are parents to Gen Alpha, but that's because my friends are mainly the older members of the generation, not those fast approaching 30 and just starting their families.
Every single restaurant I go to, the kids are all on tablets blasting cartoons and games the entire time. Millenials are already addicted enough to staring at their phones, these kids are doomed to never look at a single thing around them.
Amen! My former friends had kids but didn't want to or like being parents. They would get so mad when it was pointed out them that they would flat out tell people that they "giving them attitude". They have forever turned me off to parenthood. I don't want to bring a child into this world knowing they have to deal with iPad kids.
As a millennial high school teacher, it’s true that things have gotten worse. There is a huge issue with p*rn in schools (kids bringing that behaviour/content to class), and lack of attention and focus. It’s obviously not everyone but it is the culture and the problem with that is that in a school it spreads to everyone. Every child is affected by it. It’s not just parents though, it’s psychologists who are super eager to diagnose kids with mental health issues and put them on drugs which encourages kids not to work to overcome their challenges. It’s the government who is censoring all of us but cannot censor p0rn from kids!! It’s not that difficult - just introduce credit card before viewing pOrn, it doesn’t even need to be charged. It is sick what our leaders are doing to us. Parents are just trying their best in this new environment. As are teachers.
why are electronic devices not confiscated if a child brings them to school? I‘m an older gen z and graduated HS 10 years ago, we didn‘t even dare switch on out phones at school. Had the attitude around this subject really changed that much?
This is real. My mother in law has been teaching for 50 years, and she can’t believe the children being raised today. The children can do no wrong in their parents eyes. My own mates always cry about how horrible their parents were and wanted to be their child’s “friend” F that in the A. You’re meant to be a parent, their friends are made at school or sports.
I think it also has to do with lack of community. In my culture the old people advise the young. No one listens to authority now and think they know everything
As a millennial and a new mom of a 6 month old I totally agree with the girl talking about the pressure of unlimited information and constant comparison when it comes to parenting. On top of that all the unsolicited advice you get from family members too. It's very overwhelming especially when parenting is so new to you. As much as people criticize boomers and their more authoritian style of parenting I learned alot being raised that way and plan on passing some of the knowledge on because there were some positives to it despite it being seen as a bad thing.
@@laurara7608 My dad was just strict enough also but eventually the country changed beyond his ability to parent the way he did with me and my sisters just rolled over my mother as a result. These brats need to be spanked repeatedly just like my brother and I were spanked by my father as young kids.
What really hit the bar park was when the one til too said the corporations are teaching our kids. This is so true. A lot of my friends that disagree with and have no chill learned all their knowledge on Instagram and TikTok.
My wife and I welcomed our first baby back in March. I agree that it can feel overwhelming because everyone seems to look at you as incompetent. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I realized that the best thing I can do is consider my kids needs and just spend time with him. For medical advice I trust his pediatrician, and I consider the "advice" family members give but in the end the decision is still up to my wife and I. That is what millennials need to know and every parent needs to know. I used to be like Gen Z when I was younger and complain how older generations raised their kids, a lot of Gen Z were not taught how to problem solve and solve issues like previous generations were, that's a blanket statement but one that I myself have witnessed a lot of. To those who don't have kids, just please try and be supportive and understanding of those of us who do. It's anxiety inducing already to have a tiny human to worry about.
Just getting to my first full year as a mom and it’s crazy what we think we know before we become parents! There is so much you basically just learn on the fly, and I am sure that continues for their entire lives. 😂 If I know or suspect someone is not a parent yet, I tend to take their opinions with a grain of salt - and same goes if it’s been awhile since someone has had a kid at the age/stage mine is at currently.
The problem I see with young, screen addicted kids is that there parents are screen addicted as well. As a parent we need to prioritize our kids and spend time with they doing things and staying off our phones as well. We don’t have to take pictures and video every move the kids make, so put your phone in your pocket and take them on a walk or hike. Play tag or have them chase you around. Be an active WITH them, and they will see the joy in it
To be honest, I haven't noticed any sense of personal responsibility from the communities' perspective on how these issues should be managed especially in the long run for the betterment of the community at large
This has always happened, for decades. This isn't a new phenomenon, I remember growing up in the 90s there were some outright feral children. I specifically remember after school one parent screaming at the teacher because she was adamant it could never be their little angel's fault (the kid was a massive lesson disruptor and would bully other kids), that kid, who's now a 33 year old man, is currently serving a sentence in prison for drug dealing. There have always been those "I'm your friend not your parent" type parents. The ones that don't want to ever be the bad guy in the eyes of their child. The problem is that the rest of society pays the cost of those parents always being good cop. The best thing you can do for your kids is to be firm but fair, giving them everything they want because you want to give them a life you never had will only lead to the creation of a dysfunctional human being and a blight on society.
Honestly, I think this is because so many of the smart ones realized they can't afford kids, so they didn't have any. Now we're left with selfish millennial parents who can't be bothered to put their own phones down and actually *raise* their children. My parents were boomers and they put a lot of pressure on me but at least I knew the alphabet and could wipe my own butt before I started kindergarten.
Just like the beginning of Idiocracy. The smart ones aren’t having kids because they understand that they may not be able to financially and the dumb ones can’t stop having kids because they’re irresponsible from the beginning.
So not having kids make you smarter now? Are you aware that those without kids are ending their bloodline right? Literally your genetic code will end with you. That doesn’t sound very smart IMO
As a mom, I can tell you with 100% certainty that nothing scares me more than the thought of being a bad mom. Pretty much every maternity figure in my life has left me with nothing but trauma, and the thought of traumatizing my daughter the same way legitimately keeps me up at night. So I understand well the fear of screwing it up, but we have no choice but to do what Patience said. Keep the good, throw away the bad, and try to raise our children better than we were raised.
Unfortunately, it's unavoidable to cause any trauma to children. Trauma is part of nature and helps us to learn how to survive. The world used to be a harsher and darker place, and we still have the survival instincts from that, and trauma is part of that. So, it doesn't have to necessarily be a bad thing if it happens, as long as you try your best to love your child. You can't be perfect in an imperfect world.
As Gen Alpha myself (13, I'm allowed to be here), it really doesn't look good for a lot of our futures. While I don't live in the U.S. and I haven't noticed a problem with illiteracy where I'm from, I do notice a large obsession surrounding social media, even for people my age. This leads to many people my age and below being incredibly immature and incredibly hard to work with for teachers etc. (Some) parents, please do better.
Hope you find it more relaxing to hear that many Gen Z and young Millennials were also obsessed with social media when we were around your age. We Millennials might not have social media in our teenage days, but most of us also heavily engaged with it when we became adults. It's natural, in a way, that the social norms have changed from what I used to in my younger days, primarily through direct means like face-to-face interactions and phone calls, to shifted mainly to social media platforms for socializing. And social media has indeed altered how we bond and handle relationships. Of course, every generation criticizes the younger generation. Humans tend to avoid and get rid of the things they dislike, and this will create a whole new set of problems for the next generation. Just take it from a stranger on the internet, Gen Alpha will be fine.
Love you are 13, our brain doesn't fully develop until we are 25 give you and your generation the time to grow up and mature! we all have been children and teen agers!
I’m a school bus driver and I agree there is something going on here. Why are these elementary kids asking me to play Ice Spice and Drake like wtf. But tbh the whole world is a bad influence. There is so much garbage out there. You need to sacrifice your needs for a child. Millennials and Gen Z is not willing to do that.
I really don't feel comfortable with this concentration on generation whatever, whether it's alpha, z, millenial or x. Sure, if there are emergent problems then examine them, address them, find solutions. But all of this intergenerational whining is just deflecting from solutions and degenerating into "My generation is fine, the previous or next generation sucks" None of us chose when we were born, we were thrust into a time and culture that was created without our input. This society-wide intergenerational tribalism is not healthy for anyone. Technological advance is changing society at a frightening pace and we are not equipped to cope with the speed we're moving at. I am Gen-X. My childhood existed entirely without the internet or mobile phones. A Gen-Z has never seen a world without either. Just because I now have a smart phone and internet doesn't mean I understand what it means to grow up with it. Nor will a Gen-Z know what it is to live in a world without them, even if they watch all the 80's movies ever made. Neither of us can really understand the issues the other is processing. Instead of saying "My generation is great, your's sucks", why can't we acknowledge the real issues and look to solve it. There is more than enough divide-and-conquer placed upon us by those who would have us divided.
I still remember how in the mid 80's the whole concept of having access to the internet and being an internet savvy teen was this cool theme in movies that most of us didn't relate to but wanted to. By the end of the decade, in just a few years, I was using the internet quite casually to look things up when in uni. Though it was nothing like it is today.
Don't know when mobile phones became widely accessible in the US, but a lot of older Gen Z in my country remember growing up without phones. Most of my peers got their first mobile phones around 10 years of age, and access to the internet through mobile devices wasn't widespread until like 3 years later. I actually only had an old Nokia (the indestructible meme phone) until 2012. It's interesting to see the difference between one generation across different countries.
Generational beefs really are annoying and pointless. Every generation is doing the best they can under constantly changing circumstances. The tech and rules associated with it change before the updated “rule book” can be written. We’re all just winging it - which has always been the case, but it does feel like things are changing faster now. Hard to say, since I didn’t live 100 years ago to compare. But there’s no denying that things change alarmingly fast and it’s difficult to keep up. Studies about screen time and its effects are still in their infancy and by the time we know, the problem will change to something else. What parents need to do is work TOGETHER to navigate this uncharted territory instead of working to tear each other down and undermine our own efforts. Stop the comparisons; the parental guilt trips; the shaming on social media. Work to support one another. We’re all a giant collective team. Our success over time hinges on our ability to ACT like a team, not opposing sides.
People are so afraid of teaching discipline to their kids. They are afraid of dealing out punishment when they do something wrong. And remember. THAT generation will eventually have kids of their own.
As a millennial teacher without kids, I think my generation does not make for bad parents, I think a lot of them are actually very engaged as a counter effect of how they were raised themselves. But I might add that a lot of them are over engaged, and that is what causes the main character syndrome in the younger gen z kids I'm teaching now. Then there's also parents who both have to work so much that they have no idea what's going on with their kid, and the kid turns into this loose cannon that gets raised by the school. Also not a great situation. A lot of millennials like myself were raised by strict parents with high expectations. As children we decided that if we were ever parents we wouldn't make our own children feel like shit and not good enough all of the time. That has led to a lot of the coddled, non disciplined children that you'll come across today. Setting boundaries and saying no are not bad ways to parent, and I think a lot of people nowadays are starting to realize this again.
I'm on the younger end of millennial, I'm 29 and the parent of a toddler, she is not being raised on an iPad or cellphone. We have designated TV time in the evening where we all sit down and watch the same things together. (Shout out to Bluey!) But even more important than whether your child has an iPad or not, is having meaningful, consistent parenting tactics and rules. To any parents reading this, I want to recommend this book that I am absolutely loving right now: "Don't make me count to three" it is so good, it's parenting from a Biblical perspective, and teaches you how to aim at the heart of behavior issues, instead of just the outward performance of good behavior. Even if you are not a Christian, just give it a try. It's so good! And a nice easy, short read.
I'm absolutely curious as to what "from a biblical perspective" means in the case of this book. I can only assume this means NT and focus on jesus being mild and obedient. As in, not cursing fig trees or grabbing whips or flipping tables, but the turning the other cheek and if asked for something give even more (if they sue you for your coat, give them your shirt as well). Or maybe familial heirarchy, father at the top, mother next, and then kids, with the emphasis on honoring parents. I'm just not sure how that translates into a parenting book.
@Alice-Lantern Your version of ephesians seems to be different than my quick search. Instead of "lest they be discouraged", i'm seeing the equivalent of "don't provoke your kids, instead use the carrot and stick method of your god". Which is followed immediately by saying servants should be as obedient as possible. Equating children to servants. This same book does include some very negative things towards children, as well, such as cursing your grandchild and all their descendants to be servants to their relatives. Or in luke 14 26 about how you cannot be a disciple of jesus if you don't suffer and hate everyone around you including your parents. Plus, jesus did say he was there to cement old laws (since they were given by god), which would include: Deuteronomy 21 18-21 if your child continues to be rebellious, have the town participate in their execution Exodus 21 17 if a child curses their parent, they should be put to death Proverbs 22 15 children are foolish by nature; it's your job to beat it out of them Remember, jesus was told to not heal someone on the sabbath because that was "work", but he healed the person anyway and equated it to saving livestock on the sabbath as not being "work". He wasn't saying "feel free to work on the sabbath", but redefining what "work" was, as saving someone is not work while picking up sticks is.
@Alice-Lantern And i guess i should say i'm an atheist (one parent was more religiously inclined than the other but was less enthused about their church due to opposition to their marriage) that has had a lot of exposure to christianity without ever believing in it. I view christianity as a whole as on about the same level as jehova witnesses and mormanism. Don't really think it's believable, but definately don't think some of the beliefs are healthy at all. Like mormonism, you have joseph smith supposedly translating text written in gold (the golden plates) using a magic stone and his face in a tophat, but when some pages went missing he decided not to translate that exact same section again because when they turned up, the two copies would differ despite being "divinely inspired". It just sounds like a scam. And jws have an unhealthy relationship with anyone outside the religion. Since kids aren't allowed to participate in things like halloween or birthday parties, they are socially isolated from kids not in their religion, and the focus of a jw kid being friends with a nonjw is supposed to be conversion only. Caleb and sophia (animated kids show) dances around this topic but it if you watch it for subtext you'll see that a lot of the lessons the kids learn is that good people will accept jehova into their life. Owen from telltale (i think his channel name changed but i still think of him as telltale) on yt has a lot of videos where he breaks down the show's messages as an exjw. So i apply the same observer focus to christianity. Like how the bible supports the idea that abuse is love. Assuming the ot god and nt god are the same being, there has to be a disconnect between "i am a jealous god and will punish you" and "i love you and want to have a relationship with you because i am benevolent". Justifications for an all loving and moral being who orders the deaths of innocent children. That kind of thing. So anything that says it's biblical does make me concerned. Mostly because it can be read so many ways and cause so much harm. For a good example, take religiously motivated gay conversion camps, which is actual harm done to innocent people due to seeking confirmation of prejudice from the bible. Even sodom was not about sexuality, but inhospitality.
@Alice-Lantern That part of the bible is much nicer stated (being a conversion plea instead of direct quoting). All of it sounds nice except for 3 6, which talks about the wrath of god coming to the "children of disobedience" (in quotes due to different translations most likely changing that part). Verses 8-14 are pretty decent advice, but should be taken with the later mentioned seasoning of salt in chap 4. Like how depending on the gospel read, jesus had two different attitudes to his impending death and even a different set of last words. Sorry if it's annoying to not have the : between numbers; i don't want it to become timestamps
@Alice-Lantern I think being raised outside a christian home in a christian town in a christian state can also change how someone looks at religion. There were like 4 or 5 christian churches of different denominations in my hometown of 3k people and i got detention in high school for saying what the hell in earshot of a teacher in a public school. My cousin's family was much more religious and sent their kids to a nondenominational christian private school and the only kid that really moved away from being religious did so due to my influence (i asked questions to be passed along to the church officials (maybe a pastor, maybe a father, i don't remember) during their weekly hour of mass which got unsatisfactory answers and only raised more questions) and more towards basic spiritual. Still the love thy neighbor aspect, but not because of christ but because we're all living things; still respect people in authoritative roles/positions, but not accept abuse from someone who thinks they should have power over you. That kind of stuff. I want to make clear that the stances a lot of christians say they have (be kind, charitable, and loving) are totally fine things and in fact, wonderful. A person's understanding of their religion is often from their own mind (i should find the study again, but basically the part of your brain that lights up when you think of what god wants is the same part that is what you want and a different part than thinking of another person's wants, or in other words, at least for that sample their god was a reflection of themselves and not of their god, really cool stuff). But that's why it's important to remember that two people can read the "spare the rod, spoil the child" verse and interpret it how they want, either by saying corporal punishment is necessary for children or that relative punishment is needed for transgressions.
I'll say the same thing I've been saying all along when it comes up to me. Gen Alpha hasn't even left school yet. Let's give them time to properly earn our disappointment.
My niece and nephew are addicted to their screens also. Almost everything I bought them for Christmas this year are books. But, I found them stuff they would want to read. I used to get them stuff off their list to Santa, but not this time. I bought them some crafting kits, art supplies, clothes also and they are stuff we can do as a family and spend time with each other having fun.
the worst thing is that it not only concerns one region, it's worldwide, so you cannot blame one government in particular to not being fair with its population, internet destroyed democracy, and gafam brainwashed a whole generation.
I am Gen X and I'll be honest, a lot of people of my generation didn't go a great job of bringing kids up. Emotional neglect is something that has always been a thing in some families and mine included. My Mum was brought up in a family lacking affection and she's a boomer. This is one of the main reasons that start children off on naughty behaviour when young..emotional needs not being met...because kids are not naturally naughty. An added problem in this day and age is enabler parents like those described near the beginning of this video. These parents can't cope with their little angels being called out for inappropriate behaviour by anyone as they now see it as an attack on themselves. Back in the day, kids were raised by the whole neighbourhood who all knew each other so even out of sight of your parents, if you played up, your parents would find out from somebody and you'd be in for it. Now, parents hate anyone telling them what their kids have done. They either outright deny it or they basically defend is saying they did it as kids or that they could be doing something worse. The kids then think they are entitled to behave however the hell they like because mummy, daddy and often granny will go destroy anyone that dares to call them out for being a toe rag.
I was thinking about how this problem started generations ago. Pretty much starting with Gen X when both parents started working and the kids had to start raising themselves. I watched this on the 80’s Degrassi show. But at least Gen X was ready to go out and start working, get a car, and their own place as soon as they were out of high school. Teens aren’t like that anymore. But really, ig how can they be when the cost of living has gone up so much. My daughter started school in 2020 and it really messed us up with school. I’ve changed since 2020 and pretty much everyone has. I feel like we’re nearing a WW3, and we don’t have much of a future left. I feel like a bad mom for bringing up children in this awful place that’s like a freaking prison. Also, I think my daughter has ADHD, but can’t get her tested or treated without a teacher. I’ve told her teachers and her bus drivers in the past that I think she has ADHD, but none of them have said nothing to me about it. Instead they let her drive them insane and get her in trouble. She got wrote up on the bus 11 times in one year. They had to eventually get an older student to sit with her to try to keep her seated. (I felt so bad for whoever had that job on the bus) Her teachers usually don’t like her or me. But she’ll never calm down if she has ADHD. Which I’m sure she does. Ppl with ADHD even tell me she acts like they did when they were a kid. Also, if I can get a teacher to help me with getting her tested and treated, the only place to do that is over an hour away from where we live. There’s hardly NO doctors around here who specializes with mental illness or learning disabilities. Everything is an hour to 4 hours away. You can’t even find any family doctors around here. I recently asked my case worker where to find a family doctor or how bc my case workers have all the resources, except for finding a family doctor. She didn’t even know that one. Also, the richest kids in my daughter’s class’s aren’t rich anymore. Parents are struggling to make ends meet. Working all the time to pay the bills and groceries. Not being able to afford nothing. Daycare is expensive too. As a millennial, I’m very disappointed in how our world has become and I don’t think it’s our fault. We go to college only to go in debt bc of student loans. Mine is $89,000. I recently got my bachelors degree in health care administration and still can’t get a job. It’s depressing and has one gotten worse since Covid. Covid ruined everything. Health care is the worst it’s ever been. So many of our doctors and nurse practitioners have quit or retired. I’m finding it hard to find a doctor with HEART ATTACK symptoms. I’ve given up and accepted my fate if I die soon. Also, relationships suck. No one is faithful and everyone is selfish. More of us are single now. The world is changing. It’s not the same as it was before the pandemic, and I think it’s affecting the alpha generation. Everything on the internet is fake now. My 8 yr old is starting to notice that and doesn’t believe in anything she sees on here anymore. She thinks everything on here is fake. She thinks everybody and all the influencers are fake and liars and has been spending way less time on her iPad. She spends more time doing homework, drawing, arts and crafts(she’s talented), reading, and catching up on good 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s music and TV. She’s so fascinated by life before the internet and smart phones. She said the world was beautiful back then. Hopefully more Gen Alpha kids will wake up to reality like my daughter did.
What do you mean by naughty? Young kids entire toddlerhood is about pushing against boundaries as far as we allow them, so they are meant to be naughty in order to learn what is naughty. Hitting and biting is naughty, but also normal toddler behavior that they have to learn is bad.
I completely agree. It’s nice to see someone bring up emotional neglect. It’s not something people talk about a lot but it negatively affects children even into adulthood
@jeanismael1753 I was going to say the same. Little kids just wanna get what they want, and they may not know their behavior is bad but will do what it takes to get it. That is why parents are needed. To guide and teach morality. My son came out hell on wheels, but has been completely capable of learning and it's exciting to watch him grow as a person. That is why neglectful parenting is so dangerous.
If Gen Z adults are any indicator of how terrible children grow into terrible adults, I don't have much hope that Gen Alpha will be better, at all. Sincerely, a fed up and burnt out Gen Z
I think the potential for bad parenting is worse for millenials. Signs of neglect were a lot more obvious when a child got absolutely no interaction with anyone or anything. Signs of "I was raised by the ipad" are obvious, but it's not like the children can't function at all. they're just assholes who weren't actually raised. So I don't know. I'm a millenial and just have an 8month old and I'll say he has had maybe 2 hours total screen time since he's been born (1 hour of that was from Coco on TV because we needed him to be calm but engaged enough to make a later naptime to fix an early rising issue). Just because there is a potential to just let the ipad raise your child doesn't mean that it's going to happen. My mom, as a counter example, is Gen X and my youngest brother IS raised by the ipad. So I think it's less of a generational issue and more of a style of parenting issue.
I work with kids (K through 5th) and i can confirm they’re significantly more entitled and unhinged than they used to be. They hardly can listen to directions and throw massive tantrums over the littlest things. I went to the same elementary schools i work at myself as a kid and we never behaved like this back in the early 2000s
Same here, actually. I live in California and recently graduated and became a substitute teacher. The kids aren't doing well in comparison to when I was growing up in the 2000s. Granted, there were some bad kids here and there, and I did notice a shift after 2015 during high school. My classmates were becoming more openly hostile towards opposing ideas that didn't fit their politics and ideologies. Now I see that change growing almost 10 times as much.
Have you looked into Jean Twenge's work on generations? It's very interesting to see trends on scale. Most generations over correct the parenting trends they didn't like about their own parents. Gen X were left alone a lot by their boomer parents, and they overcorrected to be helicopter parents to gen Z. I think millennials are over correcting being put in front of the TV by not letting their child watch TV, but making the mistake of giving them the Internet instead. Gen Z will likely overcorrect that and block their children off the Internet! Every generation makes mistakes in parenting, and what's a given is that people complain about the next generation. You can read ancient Greeks complaining about how the young people don't respect the old! I'm an older millennial, I have boomer parents. I have three children under 10, so gen alpha. I would add some observations that are highly unpopular opinions about my generation as parents: 1) most of our children spend hours and hours in child care from very little. Even when they outgrow nursery and start school they're in breakfast and after school clubs. Maybe we need to have a good think about whether raising children outside of family structures works. 2) children don't have any down time. They go from one club to another, always under adult supervision. They need space to be allowed to be silly and run around and do their own thing and pursue their own interests. I do not think it is good for children to be constantly shepherded and to sit down a lot. I used to be a teacher, and I think they just get burned out of behaving well all the time. Lots of schools are reducing break times for the children to try to get more learning done, but paradoxically this will lead to less as the children haven't blown off any steam and can't concentrate for ever. They're just children. 3) screen time is a real issue. I think that's a fair observation. But I also think millennials have very little time with their children (see point 1) and they don't actually know their children very well and know how to handle them, so they turn to the screen. 4) people confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting. Permissive parenting is letting your kids get away with stuff. Gentle parenting still involves hard boundaries, but you are sympathetic to your children's feelings about those. "I'm sorry, you can't have a biscuit, I know that's hard". I don't think I do gentle parenting, but I think it is maligned.
I'm an older millennial child, with boomer parents, but all 4 of my kids are Gen Z, though the youngest, depending on who you ask, is possibly Gen Alpha. I think one thing a lot of people don't realize, that was changing while my kids were in school, is the amount in which kids are being innundated with technology. Kids were reliant on technology in school (and often abused that priviledge by doing things they weren't supposed to). Kids started bringing home tablets and computers from school, which gave them constant access at home. I've known kids as young as 5 to have their own smart phone, for better or for worse. Then the lockdowns happened, and that was a total lifestyle changer for many kids. Parents had to accommodate so they could work from home while trying to manage their kids. They've also become accustomed to having access to their kids 24/7. This results in parents texting their kids during school hours, and crazy things like ordering delivery to the schools, two things I'd heard not one peep about before the lockdown, but after the lockdown the schools would send out weekly reminders not to text or call your student during school hours, and a message can be left at the office, and don't order delivery to the school because it's a security risk. It got so bad that many schools are now using some kind of phone lock system during school hours to try and mitigate the problem. These are also kids that spent a year or two forgetting how to act respectfully in public places, and parents don't know how to deal with the challenge. And the gentle parenting thing, so much yes, exactly that. We use gentle parenting in my house, and I've trained myself very hard to make my default answer "yes," but that doesn't mean being a permissive parent. That means we focus on respect, and that includes respect for their parents. When I say no they know it's not dismissive, but because I have good reason. No, you can't listen to that loud music at this hour. It's late and the neighbor gets up early for work. Let's be respectful of their need to sleep. No, you cannot play video games right now. You've got class in an hour, and we need that time so you can get ready and we can get there on time. I've also been the kind of person to remove my kid from a situation where they're throwing a fit in a store or at a restaurant. Obviously my child needs the time and space to regulate their emotions, figure out what's causing the problem, and how to resolve it, but we also need to be respectful of other people that don't want to hear my kid scream. That is also gentle parenting, without handing them whatever it takes to pacify them and make them quiet. Gentle parenting involves teaching your child how to behave respectfully towards people around them, and to have an expectation of being treated with respect as well. Permissive parenting is almost a lack of parenting, as parents do whatever it takes to keep their kid happy.
@@sarasynfox there's a lot of truth there. Imo the best thing the government could do for young people right now is to ban smartphones (phones with Internet access) and social media accounts for under 16s. I think the thing about texting your child whilst at school is bang on. It's just not needed but we've all got so accustomed to relating to each other via tech rather than waiting to see each other that that's even seeped into family relationships. Well done on representing gentle parenting well in your reply. I don't think I do it because I am not that great at holding my own temper in and I'm likely to snap or ban my kids off screens for their behaviour! But I have many friends who are using it and their children are not feral, disrespectful, all the negative stereotypes. It is not gentle parenting to fail to discipline your child, it's just what that looks like it quite different. Not engaging with your child when they're doing something wrong is not gentle parenting, it's permissive parenting, and frankly that stems for either laziness at not wanting to do the hard work of dealing with the issue, or being unskilled at it (often from having poorly modelled parenting themselves).
Very well said, I hadn’t thought about point 2, but that makes a lot of sense. I have noticed that it seems like parents care much more about their kids having constant adult supervision these days compared to when I was a kid. I think everyone having a phone on them (so they can always contact someone if they’re in danger) may have put people in this mindset to always have their kids with a trusted adult for protection. It’s not bad to take measures to make sure your kids are safe or anything, but eventually they will have to go out on their own. When they do it is better that their parents have taught them how they can keep themselves safe, rather than always trying to protect them without teaching them how to be independent. As you mentioned, letting them out also frees them from adult judgement for a bit so they can release any energy they have. Very good observations.
As a person who went to daycare and after school care for 5 days a week from 0 to 9, I disagree with 1 as long as the time they spend at home with parents is quality time, but the other points are spot on.
@@Anna133199 I'm not saying every situation where a child goes to day care for long periods is always going to turn out bad. I'm just making the point that we blame the parents for the behaviour of their children, yet the parents aren't actually spending a lot of time with their children, so is that fair?! I also do think the quality of day care can vary, and that it sounds like you went to a great one, but not all are good at helping children learn to share properly or to listen.
the generation that raised us millenials are not to blame. most of my fellow millenials are just f'ed up by themselves. they love to blame shift their own toxicity and ineptitude. i loathe most of my gen.
@@GiblixStudio my point is a broader one about human nature vs nurture. How has an entire generation simply just “f’ed up all by themselves” without the help of some external factors? Otherwise, wouldn’t the amount of f’ups be generally in line with previous generations?
Nah, it’s millennials fault for getting participation trophies as children. It’s Millennials fault for Boomers not having someone to take care of them because so many went no contact with their toxic parents. It’s the attention hogging millennials fault for gen X being neglected. It’s millennials fault for being a bad example for Zoomers. And it’s millennials fault for Alphas being addicted to electronics that we are being pushed to buy while we try working from home. At this point it doesn’t matter who is to blame what matters is what i can do for my child and that is being a better parent.
It's ironic how gen z are lectuting about parenting meanwhile my school complained about kids born after '01 and how awful their behavior was awful, how they don't respect autority and how my gen '99 was the last well behaved generation. The same younger gen z that was critisized for being chronically online and that most likely can't recall a time before the internet and smartphones is now calling gen alpha chronically online. I noticed worse behavior with ipad kids in restaurants but that was probably also youger gen z back then.
Millennials are a transitional generation between the old ways and the new ways, and as such we don't really have a model for how to parent in this new age. We're trying to adapt the accumulated wisdom of everything learned up to this point to a world they never anticipated. Our parents relationship with "screen time" was limited to when to disallow watching TV. We're the last generation to remember a world before smartphones and social media. It's kind of bizarre when you think about it. Ultimately it may be the case that the only contribution millennials have to make to human lineage is what NOT to do. Though that's hardly what we hoped for ourselves.
As a millennial, I agree. There is a big shift especially when the younger millennials are having kids. I think there is a big divide in parenting as well, and gen Z is also part of this.
I agree... I was born in 1988. We had one TV and it was shared between my grandparents who lived with us, my parents, and three siblings (same with the computer in the kitchen). I wasn't a social outcast if I didn't watch a certain show every week and I wasn't expected to be 100% plugged into what's going on with my peer group all the time. We have a 6 month old and are in the no screens until 2 camp. I do worry though that our reluctance to give our child devices will have an impact on his social life and ability to make friends. Edit: meaning even after 2 minimal screen time and into childhood/adolescence no smart phone, tablet, unrestricted video games etc
Actually, Gen Z is the last generation to remember a world without social media and smartphones. I remember dial up and having to hang up the phone to use the Internet. I remember the Internet pre-Facebook and before Google really took off. Most Z kids from the late 90s witnessed the transition in grade school.
It's a shame that people just pop out kids just for the sake of continuing their own legacy or for no reason, if they can't raise them or at least teach them to be good people then you are raising a miserable society.
Girl 3 got me. She is very very very very right. Omg. There’s also the fear of being recorded by others and posted on the internet because that person doesn’t agree with your parenting out in public too.
At almost 50, it's so weird to say that, I've seen all the generations say "this one is worse than the last" or "in this day and time" so many times. I agree with the too much information statement some parents are overwhelmed with information. They are scared to do the wrong thing because some new study proves that way was wrong or bad.
You are correct about this!! I love to spend time researching and reading studies, but I have come to the conclusion that anyone can find a study about anything that “proves” everything! It’s crazy-making! A lot of these studies, no matter how poorly they were done and regardless of limitations, will get published with a headline like “Breaking new study proves that 3+3 has been 7 all along!” And that is the problem- the study has usually proved no such thing, but information gathered is poorly controlled or taken out of context and then the all-powerful “experts” release their new “expert opinion” on to the world. I think the challenge is to really look for wisdom, not just data. Almost all of our “proven” information is later found to be incorrect- especially in medicine and psychology! I think we need to work backwards- look toward tradition and information that remained true over long periods of time rather than just the latest study.
Home schooled kids are being forgotten. It's becoming more common for diligent parents to homeschool their kids, so those kids aren't in the student populations that teachers deal with anymore, which changes the student culture. The homeschool families that I know all have well-educated, well-behaved kids, who a decade ago would have been teacher's pets.
I'm a 40 y.o. millennial parent with 4 Gen alphas of my own and I've got a bit of an opinion on all of this. Let's start with screen time. My children were given devices on the first day of school. My youngest children didn't have access to personal devices before they started school. They interact with these devices all day at school and they submit their homework via these devices from home. Even if i make an attempt to limit their screen time at home, they're required to spend 6+ hours with their eyes glued to a screen 5 days a week. And then I'm supposed to impose "limits" on their recreational screen time on the evenings and weekends? Miss me with the "ipad kid" nonsense. The schools are training them to be ipad kids. How about support systems? Millennial parents do not have the familial support their Boomer parents had. When I was younger, my sister and I spent weekends and entire summers at family members' houses. My parents had plenty of room to breathe and be free from parenting. Now, Boomers, as grandparents (and I'm generalizing here), suck. I can't drop my children off anywhere so my wife and I can have a night out or just some time alone together without the kids around. The support isn't there. I read an article not too long ago that helped me confirm that we weren't alone in this experience. Yeah, they're my children and my responsibility, but We were more respectful as children because we were raised by more than just our parents. Also, our parents had more mental space for us because they had breaks from time to time. Honestly, (going back to the device thing) it's easier if the kids are allowed to go into their devices to give us some room to clear our heads. Discipline. Say what you want the Boomer style of parenting, but they believed in discipline. The scariest thing my mother could say to me to get me to straighten up was "I'm telling your father." And let's just say, Pops didn't play... If I were to try to impose that same kind of discipline on my children in this day and age, I'd have CPS on my doorstep faster than you can say "future school shooter". Every child is different and some require a firmer hand than others. But society is so quick to tell us how we're allowed to raise and discipline our kids. And when they turn into little terrorists, we're told that we're not doing it right.... The quality of teachers nowadays. I'm pretty "liberal" but in my older age, I'm tending to lean more socially conservative, just a touch, I promise. That said, teachers now are just plain soft. My parents had teachers that would spank them in school. I had teachers who would make you stand in the corner holding books over your head or write sentences until your hand cramped up. Even the gym teacher would make you do push ups until the end of class if you were disrespectful. These teachers want every kid to be a perfect, super receptive little angel. That's never been the case. My kids might be angels at home because they don't want their wifi cut off or worse, but i can't control them when they're in school. Teachers of old understood that and they developed methods to ensure compliance in the classroom. The same teacher complaining that little Johnny is disrespectful in class isn't doing anything to make little Johnny get his shit together and sit in that desk. School is a place where kids are taught to be cogs in the wheel of society. Conformity is the rule. When you allow kids to be unique little 'snowflakes' in that environment, the rule of conformity is broken and you get kids who do whatever they want. And without tough teachers to reign that behavior in, you get what these people are whining about. I'll stop it there. I could write a book about this stuff. I'm sum, until you have kids of your own, you can't tell people that their kids are rotten or that they suck as parents. No part of dealing with children is easy whether you're a parent, teacher or otherwise. Kids are kids. You were probably a terrible little shit yourself, I'm sure i was...
I agree, and I was a nuisance and am grateful my mom spanked me, because nothing else worked. Every child is different. Some are born very compliant and don't need any form of corporal punishment and it can even be harmful. However, some of us are wild from the start, including my son, and we require more action. This black and white parenting is damaging for many parents and it makes them feel worthless.
Not sure if you're reading this but to respond to 7:54 honestly I think there will be a new generation of book worms. Simply due to human civilization always having a tendency to overcorrect whenever there's a major issue. I think a lot more of gen z, when they become parents, are going to tend to home school/remove as many screens from their kids as possible.
With Gen Alpha, if you haven't cried yet dealing with them, You will soon cause their parents are just as brutal and mean as their children. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that you soon learn to ignore and becoming deaf and blind to their level of nonsense.
I'm truly blessed to have had a childhood where the closest thing to screentime to me was watching Fred on a family computer back when UA-cam was an eccentric niche thing that nobody truly knew about. I was born in '01 by the way.
I'm a so-called "millennial" who saw this coming all along and it reinforced my decision not to have any children. I was quite simply taught no parenting or household management skills by my own parents or by formal education, therefore would be hopeless as a parent. It's that simple and I took the most logical decision following that. Looks as though reality is aligned with the vision I had, and I too see mostly terrible parents around me (or is it simply that the issue gets more attention now) along with incredibly agitated, loud, hyperactive kids (which is somehow mistaken as signs of intelligence!). It's a huge surprise these days when you do come across a kid that's composed and not loud. Glad I don't have to deal with that personally though I won't be able to escape all the unpleasant situations stemming from the parenting styles of others.
6:33 not only reading, but also the sense of patience. Millennial kids were raised on TV, we also had commercials that broke up our episodes. Now, kids have very little understanding of pacing for a TV series. It's all on-demand.
Yes, I purposefully prevent myself from binging by breaking up viewing episodes. Also, I do not have the animosity so many others do to FAST channels. P.S. Born in '86 and proud millennial.
I'm not even sure the kids are having problems, we just have the technology where more people are able to broadcast their unhappyness with their jobs on a daily basis
That first girl literally made me cry when she was talking about the girls asking to listen to sexual music. A parent has utterly failed if their child knows the names or lyrics to music like this. Failed.
I would have liked to see some data on this. I have 2 (public) school aged kids and our community seems to be full of parents who are concerned about screen time and raising polite and academically capable children.
A lot depends on the area. From my own observations, it seems people in upper middle class and higher tend to be more involved in actively parenting their children whereas lower middle class and lower tend to throw the kid a tablet and mentally clock out or "I'd rather be their friend than parent". Culture and regions will always play a huge influence too on how parents will parent as well.
@DeadLkeMe I wish people wouldn't play the stereotypes that wealthy people are somehow more responsible and caring parents like there is no underlying reason why socioeconomic status affects how much time someone can spend with their child. It also affects the quality of schools and after school programs a child has access to.
@@DeadLkeMe This is why I want to see some actual stats. I live in a pretty well off area but my Mom, who teaches elementary school on the other side of the country, said the attitude and entitlement of the kids at the elementary in the wealthy neighborhood is horrendous and the kids at the "poor" school are infinity better behaved and more polite. It also depends I guess on what specific behavior you talk about.
I’m a millennial mom, my husband and I have a two year old daughter. We have already made the decision she will not have access to personal screens. She will not have a phone until she is a teen and it will not have the ability to access internet or send or receive videos or pictures. We do allow her to watch pre approved shows but only about 1-2 hours a day max. She will also be home schooled. We push puzzles, books, and art for her as activities to pass time. Children deserve better than screens.
I'm a millennial with three children (16,15&6). Here are the real issues we are facing in America. 1. Father abandonment My ex husband of my two older children left when my second child was one. I had to work!!! My mom did the best she could to help me raise them. Our government entices fathers to be absent and mothers to be single. The amount of fathers no paying child support just means the burden of income falls on the mom. Then having to come home and do home duties. I'm happily married now but that's besides the point. 2. Yes, I'm married but both parents have to work outside the home to make ends meet, leaving little to no time for bonding and children find solace in ipads, tv, video games and social media. I understand. Kids crave time. But then we are threatened with CPS at every single turn. We can't discipline our children (I do but...) most children threaten their own parents with CPS, and the school system rallies behind the child, making it harder for us to figure it out and, therefore tying our hands together. If a parent decides to stay home and one parent works, the child may have the parent but now are eating unhealthy because of funds, which is another thing we get thrown in our faces. 3. The pandemic forced our children to rely on social media. After the pandemic, many children didn't return to school, they became cyber students (my daughter is an example) because she feels the teachers don't teach them adequately. Millennial parents have it so hard. Damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we work too much we get hit with, children only want love not things. If we don't work at all, we get called government freeloaders and can't provide "enough for our children". If we listen to them and hear them out, we're their friends and they're stepping all over us. If we go the authoritative way, we just don't understand and are being too harsh. If we feed them healthy food, we are denying them pleasures. If we feed them unhealthy, we're making the issues worse. I'm blessed to say I own several businesses (legit with an EIn number 😂) and have the flexibility to be present for our children. However, we have so many people in our ear. We cannot win!!! We truly cannot win.
Thank you for your comment, I do agree! I was also left with three kiddos when they were 5, 3, and 1. It was, and continues to be very difficult, but I very much want to break the cycle. It would be lovely to know more people like you in person- you seem to have triumphed over a lot! I have struggled with finding a career that is compatible with also being able to be present for my kids. I have ventured into starting on online business, had to put it on the back burner for a year or so to regroup, but starting up again in 2024! Congratulations on your success in that regard! The economic conditions make it hard to remain hopeful and motivated for the future of any business that is not deemed “essential”, but gosh darn it I am going to try!! I work in antiques and vintage restoration and sales- it was going pretty well right at the beginning of the pandemic, but I also went back to school, working in healthcare over Covid, and moved across my state at the same time which was too much, and it has been on “pause” until now. I am hopeful that there will still be a market for me despite the burden of inflation and war. Like I said, I am going to at least try!! Your comment has given me an extra boost of “I can do it”, so thank you! Wishing you and your family and very happy new year and may your business continue to thrive in 2024!!
@kaybeekal happy holidays, and I pray for success for you in 2024. I'm happy I could be of encouragement. I'm not sure if I mentioned it because I wrote this a few weeks ago and refuse to re read my own comment, but yes, I am blessed that my businesses are essential. I own two laundromats acquiring the second one in April of this year. I also do marketing gigs on the side, and I am in the process of launching my own laser engraving business also on the side. In this day and age, it takes multiple hustles to get by. I also am in Healthcare as well. Was wrangling between two hospitals until I left one to focus more on my businesses. So I get it. If you haven't found one, I pray the right man comes into your life and not only provide you with love and happiness but can also provide for you and your children. I'd be more than happy to keep in touch. More women need to support and inspire each other. Please reach out and once again, May God bless you.
I’m a millennial parent of 4 alpha kids. Im raising them the old fashioned way: to understand boundaries, to respect everyone around them, listen and follow instructions and contribute to society. Not over my dead body will they become entitled brats.
This is because of fatherlessness and the breakdown of the family. People having indiscriminate sex and now having babies before even considering how to be a good parent. Babies are now accidents, they are something that happens that you have to "deal" with. Not something you have to nurture to be the best it can be.
people don't want to acknowledge how much capitalism has broken down the family. Poverty and over worked parents results in a lack of emotional and mental resilience
People seem to ignore the fact that this is the ONLY generation in history entering society immediately after a 3yr pandemic. Where a LOT of people died, financial lives ruined, dreams crushed. Instead of looking down at millennials; how about a helping kind hand?!
I’ve been working at a summer camp in my hometown for 3 years now. I would not go as far to say that Gen Alpha is doomed, but of course my perspective is a lot narrower and less challenging than that of teachers since the camp is mainly for fun/social things whereas school is sit down and learn. Each of us counselors have a group of 12-20 to look after and the amount of them that misbehave frequently (even then they mostly do listen eventually) would be 1-4 tops. I’d say the majority just vibe the whole time and then there’s a group of 1-4 who are the angels of the group. I’m personally not too worried about the next generation, but again what do I know
Its a like a snowball rolling down hill. Every generation there are more kids like this. We gotta stop focusing onwhich generation to blame & start rejecting the bad ideas that creared this situation.
I think part of it has to do with stranger danger panic and how it feels like it’s illegal to let or encourage children to go outside and play/explore. That started in late 80s-90s. Now we have adults who grew up in this environment where they were not encouraged or allowed to play outside and explore the world. And now those adults are breeding and raising children of their own and planting an iPad/game boy is seen as more socially acceptable than the whole, just go outside and be home by twilight mode of thinking. Because by not encouraging your children to play outside without electronics you’re stunting their curiosity and not letting them explore on their own, I think it stunts their curiosity and creativity. Also the whole lack of exercise thing is not healthy either.
Depends but that still ties back to what I was trying to say. We’re dealing with a generation that has been taught that playing outside alone with friends/siblings is frowned upon because of stranger danger. It’s become so normalized that seeing a child outside with their friends/siblings playing without an adult in arms reach is weird. And the parents get blamed for it because it’s seen as neglect or endangering or something like that.
As a former traditional teacher, my answer is yes. Gen A almost killed me. I quit because of the kids and the parents who cannot parent. I had a neighbor, 32, with 3 kids under 7. They were nothing short of feral. They cannot read at their grade level, let alone sit through a 30 minute lesson, that I had worked on for weeks, that has to meet the needs of 30 different learning types. Parents need to parent. Read to your kids. You learn as well. Set the example. Grow up and parent!
8:25 When she is criticizing our society, the only thing I see is an insecure adult incapable of taking responsibility. What she calls "parental instinct" I simply call "Think for yourself and be confident". If other people's opinions cause you insecurities, you have a big problem. And maybe you aren't ready to be a parent. Ok, let me tell you more. I am a dog trainer and often compare dogs with children and dog owners with parents. More than once I had the situation when a client tells me "but other trainers say to do the opposite of what you advice, what should I do? who should I listen?". And I respond: Think for yourself. What makes more sense to you? What works and what doesn't work? I am not going to tell you what is "The Truth". You have to find out yourself.
EXACTLY! The more she talked the more it became apparent that she and many other parents of gen alpha have no independent thought. They just rely on others for answers instead of figuring it out by themselves based on what they think is best.
@@space_pollutionWell yeah. It’s easier to get shamed by a larger group of people if you don’t do what everyone else is doing. Not saying it’s right, but have you SEEN what happens to some of these parents’ lives when someone catches a whiff of nonconformity and makes it go viral??
Young adults find out kids can be cruel and real life is not a Disney power fantasy and when they have a social media platform, they can do the very thing they complain about. In othe news, water is wet.
To be honest, 90% of people in general are awful parents. A child being clean, fed, and in school are the pure basics, not a milestone of good parenting. You are raising future adults, focus on that job. Stop giving unlimited access to electronics and social media, stop teaching them they're the centre of the world, stop trying to be your child's friend and all this gentle parenting BS or co-sleeping. Finally, given gen Z's addiction to TikTok, I highly doubt they're going to be any better.
I don't gentle parent and sleep trained at 6 months and you better believe I catch a lot of flack. You are demonized when you don't baby your child and instead teach them how to be a person.
Patience, spot on. This isn’t a new thing at all. There have been terrible parents for generations. My 78 yr old father is the ‘golden child’ , always has been, basically got away with all kinds of dreadful, childish behaviour because his mother was crap when she first had him, couldn’t cope and got addicted to benzodiazepines. The whole extended family is an utter mess because she felt guilty and never held her boys accountable for their actions, especially as adults.
I teach in about 18 primary schools a week and it's alarming the decline of behaviour in some of them. The teachers are scared of the parents in some cases and let them rule the roost
Is it not possible some of the teachers saying this are just getting older and less patient?no offense but everyone saying this has prefaced it with "I have been teaching for 30 years..."
This same conversation has always existed. As a mellenial child, I remember adults saying that kids are rude and disrespectful nowadays. Every generation thinks the new generation of kids aren’t getting raided right. The truth is, we don’t have a culture of blind authority anymore. Reagan just means it takes a little bit more finesse from educators. I’m not gonna complain that teachers aren’t allowed to slap fingers either rulers anymore.
I do think many fellow millennials grew up with trauma and a doomer vibe, the trauma from having too much awareness without a "solution". I often see traumatic responses from millennials, like lack self assurance, and it seems to be happening around the world. That's suck. However, I believe the TikTok videos are overly focused on the bad cases. With my experience working with young Gen Z at school, I don't think those bad cases are millennial parents/Gen Alpha exclusive. I have friends who are bad parents, and some are awesome. It has more depth than it is because "they are iPad kids" or "emotional neglect"...etc.
my sister is mother of a 12 year old boy. basically she let him be a menace in school she never cared about what he did in class while he was always making a mess and being loud. now she wonders why he is out of control 11 and now 12 year old
Yes. I’m hear so many of them saying how bad Gen Z is, but I see their actions and stories and it’s like listening to a high school drama on steroids 😅😂
Its possible that kids won't read as much but its possible the opposite happens. I didnt read much when I was younger but now that I'm forced on a screen almost all day its one of the best ways to improve my sleep and get me away from a screen. I think there will be a lot more people in this position in the future as well.
I really do feel for the teachers. They are nowhere near paid enough to take the nonsense the kids of today give out. E.g. "I identify as a cat". Feel like most parents these days will find excuses not to discipline their kids due to laziness or wokeness.
You mean kids doing the naturally experimenting roles out, and learn through roleplay and its a natural part kids learn. "i identify as cat" probably is just roleplay. To like lewarn to adapt to social roles. Also do you hate nicknames, nicknames are no different and pretty sure going along with quirks what people want is pretty usual, including nicknames, unless yoiu really hate nicknames too. Who if not in a fun way would even say "i identify as cat" like dah, i sometimes wanna be a housecat too, it means nothing?! Kids always give out nonsense because poart of learning is trying things out, which involves a lot of weird stuff. Seriously, sorry you hare kids, but kids, always were weird. I am glad its less about fear and actualy having enough trust to not huide that kids are freeaking weird.
@@marocat4749 No, the public school system is allowing and even encouraging something called "neopronouns" which means you can make up your own pronouns. It's the schools, not the parents, unless the parents are also woke.
While I agree there are definitely neglectful and ambivalent parents, my kid came home and asked me to explain to her how many genders there are and what they were. She did not get it from me. When I asked where she heard that idea from she told me it was from a teacher at school. It was difficult walking back that idea in her head while not undermining the teachers.
I think it's exactly as you said. Some kids will be nightmares, some kids won't. I feel the human race doesn't inherently change as much as we think it does. We'll always be the same brilliant idiots but with different tools and ailments, and so will our children.
I think the job of raising kids has become a lot harder. With social media and technology advancement there are so many more troubles parents have to deal with now that did not exist before. To say children nowadays are worse I just don't believe. I was born in 1989 and during my high-school years we had multiple occurrences of kids bringing knives to stab other kids every year. There will always be bad parents and difficult children in every generation.
My husband is a teacher, and he is spending a ton of his energy - much more than is asked of him - to help a 12 y/o kid who can’t read. The teachers who worked with the kid before him tried anything they could, one even went to the kids house to work with him. The kid is uninterested and parents are completely numb to the fact he’s performing at a level of a child with special needs while being perfectly healthy. So yeah, parents aren’t to be blamed in all cases, but in many they are. The older generation (my parents) respected the teachers so we learned from them and had to do the same. Young parents now act like they know better than anyone, and honestly their parenting paints how wrong they are
I already know I won't allow my children to have Ipads. I guess my issue is with these teachers. Looking back I took mine for granted, because, my God, most of these so called teachers on social media would be better suited for life in prison over being around children. They're that destructive.
I have several millennial parent friends and none of their kids are this disrespectful. I think bad parents are just getting worse. And I have to also wonder how much these things play a factor: -Dual income households (less parents at home to discipline and raise their kids) -Post-pandemic mental health of families (2020 is now going on 4 years ago so what's cropping up in classrooms these days could be a symptom of a deeper issue) -Lack of affordable childcare -Burn out in general -Many families who make 100k are saying it's not getting them far and they're still struggling I think millennials could have some serious mental health issues and can't commit to the full parenting load. I agree that this is becoming a crisis.
The woman at 9:30 totally nails it. Many younger parents today are afraid of doing things wrong and thus theyre consulting social media influencers (meanwhile their kids watch 9h of cocomelon a day), numbing their natural parental instincts.
I say as millennial parent who is trying to be an authoritative type, respect is not given it’s gained. Kids were cruel since the beginning of times. When I was at school we were called the worst behaving class and once the new teacher quit after 1 day with us. We had very problematic boys. young teachers always were seen whether like friend you can joke around with or annoying trying to be strict but never gaining the respect types. But older gen teachers always were respected bc we were afraid of them. “Weak” teachers never been respected by kids I’m sorry. My ballet teachers were terrifying, I genuinely think they were mad women , and that’s why you could hear pin drop during their class. Im sorry for that 22yo ballet teacher, but unless you’re ready to behave like that I don’t think you should teach kids
Exactly! My son is having behavioral issues in class in kindergarten and he is such a great sweet kid. my 6th grader daughter told me the teacher yells at all the 5 year olds and she seems stressed out. How are the kids going to respect that? Teachers complain about their job more than anyone else and have no accountability. We shouldn’t have our kids just respect teachers because they are teachers not all adults deserve respect if they don’t know how to act.
My son is a GenZ _cusper._ While younger, he was a bit _feral_ but that behavior became better as he got older and acclimated to school. Something that he does better than us (his parents) is that he has a much higher EQ than we ever had at his age.
I say it depends on where you live too, the school my brother goes to. They're learning cursive, greek mythology, doing science projects ect. When i was going to school, the school i went to didn't even teach me geography. So it definitely matters where these kids are coming from, and also how much the parents care. While my school failed me, my parent made sure that I knew the basics. So i don't think the new generation is going to be filled with complete morons, but todays world definitely makes it hard not to become one.
"But your parents did the best they could." Why do we keep spreading these myths? Many parents could do better, and just choose not to. Not all parents have the best intentions for their children.
I think its harder to be a parent in this day and age mainly because of social media. I think a lot of people especially younger people seek attention and thats precisely what social media gives them. Even if a parent limits internet when they are kids, kids will find ways. Although I would say that trying is better than not doing anything at all.
My wife has just quit her job as a one to one teacher assistant to 5-6 year olds because their behaviour and concentration is so bad. What's worse is that the head told her and the teacher she was helping to just let them do what they wanted. 🤦♂️
Advice for new parents:
1. Don't be an iPad parent
2. Seriously don't be an iPad parent
I was on the train yesterday, and I saw this mom glued to her phone while one of her two small daughters was on the iPad. That’s not parenting.
Actually have a good relationship with your kid. Don’t just ignore them. Don’t just shove a screen in their face. Actually interact with them
You can use iPads educationally and to have interactive learning with your kids. I'm so upset that technology has improved so vastly that parents started to use it to neglect their children's emotional and social needs.
@@onyx-alice8191That’s what my cousin did with his daughters. They had those kiddie tablets that are strictly filled with educational applications. They also weren’t allowed to watch tv until they reached a certain age and it shows. They don’t watch tv unless it’s a family movie night or if they’re already low energy. They get bored! They’re usually outside and are both in sports so they’re super active kids.
@@sweethistorteaI don’t think you should judge a parent based off one encounter you’ve seen for x amount of minutes
We are seeing a snowball effect on child development.
1. Millennials having children later means the child’s grandparents are getting too old to help with small children
2. Both parents are overworked. They aren’t able to mentally/emotionally pour into their children because they are drained. Hence the reliance of electronics to teach/entertain children
3. Lack of support for families in the workplace. Moms and dads are unable to spend more time raising children due to long commutes, mandatory work obligations, lack of pto, lack of maternity leave etc
4. Parental guilt- parents allowing bad behavior, spoiling children because they are guilty for being emotionally unavailable.
And these problems are going to make a hellish world even worse.
Excellent analysis. I agree
This is true
Dang spot on
More like a value-system problem.
These parents take their kids to Roosters or Texas Roadhouse. Both parents and children are all on their iPads and phones.
I'm the principal of a preschool/nursery in Japan.
I think some of the comments are barking up the wrong tree with the iPad/neglectful/permissive parenting because we have that problem here and I don't see the same behavioral problems. We have the opposite problem to be honest. Children still wear their masks because they want to be invisible.
I think it's a cultural/societal issue. Have a look at the personality types that are being worshipped and the models that the children have around them. What is the general background commentary about listening to those around you/authority? Are those that contribute/work with others being celebrated? or those that take and ignore what people feel/think? Do they see that working hard has benefits? or gaming the system and ignoring what others think for your 'truth'? Is being a victim the best way to be heard and get what you want? Or having a goal and working for it despite the obstacles? Are we taught to respect teachers? or be suspicious of them?
I haven't lived outside of Japan for 17 years so I can't make any solid arguments but the solution isn't as simple as "parent better". There have always been bad parents.
This is so, so true.
100% agreement from middle-aged parent in the US. Have been watching our culture circle the toilet bowl for over a decade.
very interesting and insightful perspective! thanks for sharing🙂
Also, that teacher who said she was in a unique position for teaching for 10 years without having a child of her own should have one. I had my first child after ten years of teaching, and it BLEW MY MIND. Just like being bilingual, you can't know it until you've done it.
I thought I had all the answers and would be an awesome parent until that little H-Bomb dropped on my life😅😅.
In Asia, teachers are respected a lot more and education is more highly regarded.
As a ballerina who started ballet when I was 7; the first story really upsets me.
You HAVE to be quiet, observant, and respectful to your teachers or your teachers will scold you in front of the entire class.
Respect for your teachers and fellow students is everything in ballet.
Even the more disobedient students kept their lips shut because they didn’t want to get humiliated in front of everyone.
Sure there are some terrible teachers, but I was fortunate to have great ones.
Ballet dancer or are you in a company as a ballerina?
@@kjsaaaaaaaa
I guess you would say that I am a Ballet dancer because I didn’t get payed for being with them or doing their shows. But I was one of the top 5 dancers there.
I sadly quit when covid started and moved….sad times
Congratulations
yes I remember my ballet teacher constantly telling us to stay quiet and focus
To be fair, 7 is a very different stage of development than 5. I see the difference between 5 year old and 7 year olds at kung fu class and their ability to focus is very different.
The TV was a better nanny than the Ipad because the TV didn't always have something we liked on at all times. This forced us to find other things to do. Also taught us time management, had to be back to the TV in time to watch what you actually wanted. The internet is infinite on demand at all times. There is no forced down time with the internet.
Also, TV was something you could easily watch together as a family and it was easier for parents to check what content was on and set proper limits to it.
On an ipad or phone, its a more isolated activity and its easy to go unsupervised and see content that is low quality.
I was just thinking about this. And how my dad made use of what was available and would have me watch cartoons with captions on so when I was a kid I was picking up on how words would sound as they went long
As an adult I think this was great if my dad and it makes me laugh because he loves karaoke and I basically had that but with kids tv
Yes. I let my baby watch Tv but not have a tablet or phine.
That's funny because kids on tiktok have come up with the term "time blindness" and they're acting like it's some kind of mental illness. So be nice to them ok?
@@cryforthemoon- I don’t even know what this means. Lol
My dad is a sixth grade teacher, and he has been for like 26 years. He’s not a boomer type that says “kids these days”, but he has definitely seen the decline in comprehension, communication, respect, etc. in just the past ~5 years. He said the parents of disrespectful children are becoming more common and more entitled and stuck up too and their children are the direct result.
Can I ask you if these symptoms could also be a lack of fathers around them?
Of course I have a bias opinion, but I wanted to ask people like your dad if my biased suspicions has any credibility.
I'd say the pandemic certainly did leave its mark on many many kids :/
@@CloudWalkBeta I'm not the one you were asking, but I myself did work in school and currently do work in kindergarten and judging by my experiences - nope. The vast majority of children here do have both their parents and many of them tend do be frustrated, have difficulties to focus, to listen, to be nice to the other kids. It doesn't really follow a pattern.
Some kids with a single parent are very well behaved, others are a bit all over the place, because the parent that stayed feels that they need to compensate for the absentee parent.
Some kids with both their parents are very well behaved and relaxed, others are all over the place, because they don't know boundaries, have to be their parents best "friend".
We also do have kids from all kinds of backgrounds (poor, middle class, rather rich, and so on) and even this isn't often an indicator anymore how the kid will act.
But overall I have to say - most of the kids are pretty normal and nice to interact with.
@@D0MiN0ChAn for sure
@@D0MiN0ChAnthe pandemic of fatherless children of progressive liberal women?
I'm a childfree millennial, but one thing I think could be impacting kids that isn't just due to millennial parents not teaching their kids is the fact that grandparents are not nearly as involved as they used to be. When I was kid, I spent tons of time at my grandparents' house. My grandma would read to me a lot. She was a SAHM, and then the main childcare provider for her children's kids. Most millennials' parents are still working because they can't afford to retire, or if they aren't, they're focused on having fun and aren't that involved with the grandkids. Add to that the fact that both parents have to work full time now just to make ends meet, and there is a big deficit in time able to be spent with the kids.
Grandparents are older than ever now as maternal age continues to climb. My grandmother was 42 when I was born, she had the energy to run around with me and I'd be sent off to spend month long stretches with her, which I loved. Now my mom is approaching 60 and still waiting on my sister and I to make it happen, same thing with her siblings and my cousins
Reasons like this is why I’m perfectly fine with people being child free by choice 🤷🏾♂️ if you don’t have the time to raise them or aren’t 100% down to raise a child, don’t have one
Yeah and my cousin has two 5 year olds currently and they spend a lot of time on tablets. Parents work so hard and get their own time by putting kids in front of the tv, games, or tablets. I wasn’t allowed to do that when I was a kid - never seen an episode of the Simpsons because I wasn’t allowed to watch much tv. I have no clue if it actually made a difference in how I ended up but I see the opposite happening these days and it makes me wonder.
Yeah man those were the days! My grandma might as well be Gen z tho cuz yo…. She lets her grandkids do whatever!! I haven’t even heard her tell off my sisters. My sisters are barely in highschool and have so much time on their phones.
I remember my screen time wasn’t as bad as them when I were in my teens. I was definitely naughtier in other aspects, but I respected my great grandparents much more than I did my grandma. It’s bad man, my niece who rarely comes over…. Only likes seeing my grandma cuz nan lets her go on her phone and gets to choose what she does with her day.
This is so true.
As a millennial, I think it's that my generation wanted their parents to be their "friends" and not their parents and so now they want to be their kids' "friends" and not really their parent. I grew up with a lot of girls saying they wanted this, and they were influenced into this thought by MTV (date my mom, etc) and myspace.
In Italy Girlmore Girls was translated as "Una mamma per amica" "A mom as a friend"
What is right tho be there friend or be there parent?
@@moonknight4053as a mother to a 17 year old daughter and 8 year old son, it's my duty and obligation to mother my children! They require nurturing, structure, guidance and support. Your children should be able to trust you and know that you'll guide them through life in a way that benefits them the best. I'm their Mom, not their friend. Friends come and go but Mom is always there!
I see this so much, parents wanting to be their children's best friends... and now this has been taken to the next level with the "boy moms" thing. Parents are fostering their own needs in their relationship with their children. While I will say other people seem to see my relationship with my kids as being friend-like and casual, it's still my job to teach my kids how to be a human, and I can't be that way if I'm their friend. I've seen the same thing in the workplace, where someone wants to be your friend, not your boss, so it makes it very difficult for management to do what they're supposed to do beccause they're too caught up in being people's friends.
That is a good point about the tv shows, never thought of that. I feel like my children are my friends in a way, but they still need to be disciplined and they know that. I keep it real with my friends who are not my children, why wouldn't I do that with my kids? lol
I'm a millennial parent with an alpha child.
I don't feel like you can make any big predictions when they're this young. But it doesn't look hopeful, here are some observations I've made:
1. There's kids entering primary school still in nappies
2. There's kids who aren't very articulate and totally illiterate
3. There's a few kids per class who are just outright feral, 1 in 10 anecdotally.
4. There's a significant minority of kids who show all the signs of mental neglect, they'll attach themselves to you as a temporary parent if they see you playing with your kid.
5. Millennial parents do partake in some boomerisms but with a more LMFAO/American Pie paint job, if that makes sense
Still in NAPPIES??? Dude, I know children can have health issues and developmental delay, but if that's not the individual case then... I am shocked and appalled.
Say what you want, but what broke my heart was seeing my niece, raised by my sister and her "wife" (2 women) latch onto me and call me daddy. She was crying out for a father figure. I had to redirect, of course, but it was sad.
@imychaplinsky gen Alpha still in nappies because they are literally infants. I have a gen Alpha 2 year old.
I honestly wish people would familiarize themselves with the generations when trying to discuss thrm.
@chrisrussell8245 Gen alpha, is any kid born between 2010 and 2024 So idk what you mean.
@@hengineerthat poor child, hope she finds more paternal role models. That sounds horrible
I'm a teacher at an academy for little kids. When I tell you they DRAIN me, I'm not kidding. They're so disrespectful, can't follow instructions, are barely performing well in reading/writing, and their parents blame everything on us teachers.
Maybe the teachers messed up the parents' think about it😂 Mortimer Adler was talking about this in the 70s and probably even before then. He wrote a book about it in the 40s, and it was republished in the 70s.
I'm not trying to blame you. Most teachers weren't educated well at teaching. Read some of his books. Please help change the education system. I see more and more teachers say it starts in the home. Umm, if that were true, why did we need educators in the first place. The front lines are educators who teach people how to read and write and give them a true liberal arts education by showing them the Great Books of the West.
I'm not a teacher but I work in a school. We have multiple kids that we can't even take on fieldtrips because they are so out of control that we literally cannot take responsibility for them in that kind of situation.
@@superwormhalz2607 I understand what you're saying, because it's true that we're teachers for a reason. I should've specified that I work at an English academy for kids to learn English. I only have 2 hours a week with each kid, and I have around 15 kids per group. As bad as it sounds, my job is to teach them English with the little time I have. I can't spend my time teaching each one how to read and write (in both Spanish AND English), and manners on top of that.
I really wish I could spend more time with them, but that's when the parent's responsibility comes in. I had a little girl who I suspected had dyslexia and maybe ADHD, I saw a bunch of videos about it and even gave her some extra spelling/counting activities. When I showed the mother the results she brushed off saying that her daughter's school had said something similar, but that she's just a child. Then the mother pulled the girl from the academy.
Yes, it's our job to teach children, but we can't also be doing the work the parents have to be doing at home.
@superwormhalz2607 I would imagine it's more administration's fault than the teachers. There are teachers who have been great for decades quitting because of the children. The parents expect teachers to parent them while not allowing them to have any authority at all. You can't expect someone to run a classroom when they can't even give their students a 0 for not participating because the parents will flip tf out on you and admin will come after you. They literally are not allowed to do their jobs well.
I think it's a more complex issue, because on one hand there are plenty of gen Z and Millennial parents, that are really good parents, and on the other hand we've got people, who aren't really fit to be parents, ending up as parents.
What's new? Child services and foster care exist because people who are not fit to be parents have been having kids for a very long time. Why would it be any different with Millennials?
You can say that about any generation that has ever lived. The point here is that Millennials believe that having no authority is a good parenting style.
@@puzzardosalami3443 I thought that was gen z
@@Èèĕě-m1f gen z are still a bit young for being parents
Just wanna say I’m one of the oldest gen z (98’) and I’m only 25, so not many gen z are having kids yet and the ones that are don’t have kids beyond toddler age.
My mom is a teacher and she is shocked that kids in elementary school are still in diapers and need their food cut for them. She has said that the problem is that parents now are helicopter parents in some areas (not letting their kids learn themselves and sometimes the hard way) and being negligent in other ways (thinking all discipline is abuse, not reading to their kids at home, not educating kids at home and expecting the teacher to do 100%) simultaneously. Parents now seem to take a hands off approach when kids actually need someone to teach them to do something or not do something, but have a hands on approach in anything that ruins their child's "image". Obviously this isn't applicable to everyone, but it's a big enough problem that schools are regularly having meeting about how to deal with feral children and crazy, emotinally unstable parents--something they've never had to do before.
Yep
Holy shit a school aged baby in diapers is a nightmare. My daughter is half potty trained & she is barely 1.
Yeah, that sounds exactly like what I'd expect from my elder Millennial peers... Permissive in some ways and overbearing in others. Exactly like our parents were. Yknow, those old folks that most Millennials and Gen Z have been encouraged to remove from their life, along with any semblance of a relationship with a two parent household? Gen Z has zero conflict resolution skills. It's no wonder these new generations are going to struggle. They have no discipline or consistency because their parents didn't bother to learn any of it or bother to actually heal their childhood trauma. We have big old children in baby boomers who raised big children in Millennials who are now raising their own stunted children. What does it have in common? A refusal to heal and a ton of excuses for why. Children need structure and redirection. Right now, the children dominate the family, being spoiled to their own detriment, because we have parents that don't enforce boundaries. There's such a thing as too much of a good thing. Never allowing your child any discomfort does not make you a hero. It means you're raising someone who will never understand how to regulate or cope with life.
COVID did far more damage I believe personally than most realize. My dad quit being a middle school teacher about a month ago because the kids were soooo far behind developmentally according to him
I think it began a few generations back and just got more extreme with each generation. TBH, I think it started with mine, the so called "Generation X" though it depends very much on when and where you were from how likely this was to be an issue. I'm from 1970, right in the middle, and I remember when some of the new modes of parenting was circulating in the 2000's I was shocked. They seemed utterly confused as to what parenting was about, and were almost treating it more as if it was about themselves. Not wanting to be seen as neglectful so being overprotective, not allowing kids to do anything that might not be "safe" or that could possibly hurt them, as if a scraped knee was the end of the world. A child had to be happy all the time, as an unhappy child was obviously a bad reflection on them- so they would often end up not enforce boundaries or consequences. Yet at the same time too busy with trying to make ends meet to be that ideal parent so often tried to spoil the child out of guilt which just made it worse.
All in all it created a generation of entitled people, who were even more prone to raising their children the same way; helicopter parents, spoiled and entitled. It was after all what they had been taught was parenting, and was being reinforced as a social norm. And will continue until there is enough of a countermovement in the other direction. Which probably, being reactionary, will go too far in the opposite direction.
Somewhere around 1985, Gen X parents forgot that raising a child is a job - a legitimate job.
You are a teacher, mentor, provider, friend, taxi service, chef, financial controller. Your child is a living, growing human being and your family is a business of a sort.
My parents were GREAT providers. We always had money. But they were TERRIBLE teachers, mentors and friends.
I was raised on Nintendo and PlayStations. I do NOT want that to happen EVER again.
They forgot we were PEOPLE. Not pets. And I think Millennial children forgot that too.
Those game platforms aren’t as bad as iPads n phones tho dude, but I get what u mean!!
This is new? It didn't start around 1985... Historical primary source documents seem to show a connection with parents no longer being teachers right along with the start of compulsory schools... so this is a LONG term generational issue, not something that's new as of the 80s.
You do realise that in 1985, most Gen X were children or teenagers? Not even thinking about having children yet.
Gen X were small kids and adolescents in 1985 so we were far off from being parents 😂 but I agree that some Gen Xers started this spoil your child give them everything teach them nothing helicopter parenting. I think it was an extreme response to how baby boomers raised us which was basically we were fed and hit and only got negative attention from our parents 😢
@mickeyc2137 Gen X starts in 65, so by 85, those folks would 20, so they could, if they started young, have kids. Gen X is 1965-1980, so it's not a small range, and I know people a few years older than me (I'm a few months too young for Gen X) that had kids in high school or their late teens and early 20s. There's a lot of us elder millennials raised by Gen X. For that matter, I'm a elder millennial parent of a 20 year old Gen Z human. A majority of my millennial friends are either child-free or have kids that ate Gen Z. I think I personally only know a couple of millennials that are parents to Gen Alpha, but that's because my friends are mainly the older members of the generation, not those fast approaching 30 and just starting their families.
Every single restaurant I go to, the kids are all on tablets blasting cartoons and games the entire time. Millenials are already addicted enough to staring at their phones, these kids are doomed to never look at a single thing around them.
Most parents want to have kids but not be parents. They avoid the responsibility that comes with having children.
Amen! My former friends had kids but didn't want to or like being parents. They would get so mad when it was pointed out them that they would flat out tell people that they "giving them attitude". They have forever turned me off to parenthood. I don't want to bring a child into this world knowing they have to deal with iPad kids.
As a millennial high school teacher, it’s true that things have gotten worse. There is a huge issue with p*rn in schools (kids bringing that behaviour/content to class), and lack of attention and focus. It’s obviously not everyone but it is the culture and the problem with that is that in a school it spreads to everyone. Every child is affected by it. It’s not just parents though, it’s psychologists who are super eager to diagnose kids with mental health issues and put them on drugs which encourages kids not to work to overcome their challenges. It’s the government who is censoring all of us but cannot censor p0rn from kids!! It’s not that difficult - just introduce credit card before viewing pOrn, it doesn’t even need to be charged. It is sick what our leaders are doing to us. Parents are just trying their best in this new environment. As are teachers.
You identified one of the biggest issues that no one is talking about but needs to be addressed. Thank you for commenting!
Well said.
When people are showing their nudity free on twitter for likes the credit card thing wont work.
why are electronic devices not confiscated if a child brings them to school? I‘m an older gen z and graduated HS 10 years ago, we didn‘t even dare switch on out phones at school. Had the attitude around this subject really changed that much?
Worst off, the parents and students will blame it on the student's "AdHd". Bullshit. They don't have ADHD. Their attention just sucks ass.
This is real. My mother in law has been teaching for 50 years, and she can’t believe the children being raised today. The children can do no wrong in their parents eyes. My own mates always cry about how horrible their parents were and wanted to be their child’s “friend” F that in the A. You’re meant to be a parent, their friends are made at school or sports.
I think it also has to do with lack of community. In my culture the old people advise the young. No one listens to authority now and think they know everything
As a millennial and a new mom of a 6 month old I totally agree with the girl talking about the pressure of unlimited information and constant comparison when it comes to parenting. On top of that all the unsolicited advice you get from family members too. It's very overwhelming especially when parenting is so new to you.
As much as people criticize boomers and their more authoritian style of parenting I learned alot being raised that way and plan on passing some of the knowledge on because there were some positives to it despite it being seen as a bad thing.
Boomers were way too soft.
@@laurara7608
My dad was just strict enough also but eventually the country changed beyond his ability to parent the way he did with me and my sisters just rolled over my mother as a result.
These brats need to be spanked repeatedly just like my brother and I were spanked by my father as young kids.
Just a head’s-up: old school parenting doesn’t work on Alphas!
Sincerely,
Your Exhausted Milennial Mom
What really hit the bar park was when the one til too said the corporations are teaching our kids. This is so true. A lot of my friends that disagree with and have no chill learned all their knowledge on Instagram and TikTok.
My wife and I welcomed our first baby back in March. I agree that it can feel overwhelming because everyone seems to look at you as incompetent. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I realized that the best thing I can do is consider my kids needs and just spend time with him. For medical advice I trust his pediatrician, and I consider the "advice" family members give but in the end the decision is still up to my wife and I. That is what millennials need to know and every parent needs to know. I used to be like Gen Z when I was younger and complain how older generations raised their kids, a lot of Gen Z were not taught how to problem solve and solve issues like previous generations were, that's a blanket statement but one that I myself have witnessed a lot of. To those who don't have kids, just please try and be supportive and understanding of those of us who do. It's anxiety inducing already to have a tiny human to worry about.
Congratulations on your first child! ^_^
Congratulations Daddy ♥
Congratulations to you and your wife!😊
I applaud and feel grateful for all parents who try their best to take care of their kids and themselves ❤❤
Just getting to my first full year as a mom and it’s crazy what we think we know before we become parents! There is so much you basically just learn on the fly, and I am sure that continues for their entire lives. 😂 If I know or suspect someone is not a parent yet, I tend to take their opinions with a grain of salt - and same goes if it’s been awhile since someone has had a kid at the age/stage mine is at currently.
The problem I see with young, screen addicted kids is that there parents are screen addicted as well. As a parent we need to prioritize our kids and spend time with they doing things and staying off our phones as well. We don’t have to take pictures and video every move the kids make, so put your phone in your pocket and take them on a walk or hike. Play tag or have them chase you around. Be an active WITH them, and they will see the joy in it
To be honest, I haven't noticed any sense of personal responsibility from the communities' perspective on how these issues should be managed especially in the long run for the betterment of the community at large
And the never ending cycle of generational blame continues...
This has always happened, for decades. This isn't a new phenomenon, I remember growing up in the 90s there were some outright feral children. I specifically remember after school one parent screaming at the teacher because she was adamant it could never be their little angel's fault (the kid was a massive lesson disruptor and would bully other kids), that kid, who's now a 33 year old man, is currently serving a sentence in prison for drug dealing.
There have always been those "I'm your friend not your parent" type parents. The ones that don't want to ever be the bad guy in the eyes of their child. The problem is that the rest of society pays the cost of those parents always being good cop. The best thing you can do for your kids is to be firm but fair, giving them everything they want because you want to give them a life you never had will only lead to the creation of a dysfunctional human being and a blight on society.
Honestly, I think this is because so many of the smart ones realized they can't afford kids, so they didn't have any. Now we're left with selfish millennial parents who can't be bothered to put their own phones down and actually *raise* their children. My parents were boomers and they put a lot of pressure on me but at least I knew the alphabet and could wipe my own butt before I started kindergarten.
Just like the beginning of Idiocracy. The smart ones aren’t having kids because they understand that they may not be able to financially and the dumb ones can’t stop having kids because they’re irresponsible from the beginning.
Yeaaaah
Very true.
So not having kids make you smarter now? Are you aware that those without kids are ending their bloodline right? Literally your genetic code will end with you. That doesn’t sound very smart IMO
That's the plot of Idiocracy and it's kinda scary that it sounds very true tbh
As a mom, I can tell you with 100% certainty that nothing scares me more than the thought of being a bad mom. Pretty much every maternity figure in my life has left me with nothing but trauma, and the thought of traumatizing my daughter the same way legitimately keeps me up at night.
So I understand well the fear of screwing it up, but we have no choice but to do what Patience said. Keep the good, throw away the bad, and try to raise our children better than we were raised.
Unfortunately, it's unavoidable to cause any trauma to children. Trauma is part of nature and helps us to learn how to survive. The world used to be a harsher and darker place, and we still have the survival instincts from that, and trauma is part of that. So, it doesn't have to necessarily be a bad thing if it happens, as long as you try your best to love your child. You can't be perfect in an imperfect world.
The best advice I can give you is to follow the Bible for parenting advice 🩵
The bad parents are always gonna stand out. How has basically all of society not figured out that this is a thing?
As Gen Alpha myself (13, I'm allowed to be here), it really doesn't look good for a lot of our futures. While I don't live in the U.S. and I haven't noticed a problem with illiteracy where I'm from, I do notice a large obsession surrounding social media, even for people my age. This leads to many people my age and below being incredibly immature and incredibly hard to work with for teachers etc.
(Some) parents, please do better.
Hope you find it more relaxing to hear that many Gen Z and young Millennials were also obsessed with social media when we were around your age. We Millennials might not have social media in our teenage days, but most of us also heavily engaged with it when we became adults.
It's natural, in a way, that the social norms have changed from what I used to in my younger days, primarily through direct means like face-to-face interactions and phone calls, to shifted mainly to social media platforms for socializing. And social media has indeed altered how we bond and handle relationships.
Of course, every generation criticizes the younger generation. Humans tend to avoid and get rid of the things they dislike, and this will create a whole new set of problems for the next generation. Just take it from a stranger on the internet, Gen Alpha will be fine.
@@airynod Thank you, this is actually really nice of you to say.
You seem very mature and articulate for your age
hi! gen alpha actually only starts in 2012. so you wouldn’t be gen alpha! your saved!
Love you are 13, our brain doesn't fully develop until we are 25 give you and your generation the time to grow up and mature! we all have been children and teen agers!
I’m a school bus driver and I agree there is something going on here. Why are these elementary kids asking me to play Ice Spice and Drake like wtf. But tbh the whole world is a bad influence. There is so much garbage out there. You need to sacrifice your needs for a child. Millennials and Gen Z is not willing to do that.
I really don't feel comfortable with this concentration on generation whatever, whether it's alpha, z, millenial or x. Sure, if there are emergent problems then examine them, address them, find solutions. But all of this intergenerational whining is just deflecting from solutions and degenerating into "My generation is fine, the previous or next generation sucks"
None of us chose when we were born, we were thrust into a time and culture that was created without our input. This society-wide intergenerational tribalism is not healthy for anyone.
Technological advance is changing society at a frightening pace and we are not equipped to cope with the speed we're moving at. I am Gen-X. My childhood existed entirely without the internet or mobile phones. A Gen-Z has never seen a world without either. Just because I now have a smart phone and internet doesn't mean I understand what it means to grow up with it. Nor will a Gen-Z know what it is to live in a world without them, even if they watch all the 80's movies ever made. Neither of us can really understand the issues the other is processing.
Instead of saying "My generation is great, your's sucks", why can't we acknowledge the real issues and look to solve it. There is more than enough divide-and-conquer placed upon us by those who would have us divided.
Completly agree!
I still remember how in the mid 80's the whole concept of having access to the internet and being an internet savvy teen was this cool theme in movies that most of us didn't relate to but wanted to. By the end of the decade, in just a few years, I was using the internet quite casually to look things up when in uni. Though it was nothing like it is today.
Don't know when mobile phones became widely accessible in the US, but a lot of older Gen Z in my country remember growing up without phones. Most of my peers got their first mobile phones around 10 years of age, and access to the internet through mobile devices wasn't widespread until like 3 years later. I actually only had an old Nokia (the indestructible meme phone) until 2012. It's interesting to see the difference between one generation across different countries.
Generational beefs really are annoying and pointless. Every generation is doing the best they can under constantly changing circumstances. The tech and rules associated with it change before the updated “rule book” can be written. We’re all just winging it - which has always been the case, but it does feel like things are changing faster now. Hard to say, since I didn’t live 100 years ago to compare. But there’s no denying that things change alarmingly fast and it’s difficult to keep up. Studies about screen time and its effects are still in their infancy and by the time we know, the problem will change to something else. What parents need to do is work TOGETHER to navigate this uncharted territory instead of working to tear each other down and undermine our own efforts. Stop the comparisons; the parental guilt trips; the shaming on social media. Work to support one another.
We’re all a giant collective team. Our success over time hinges on our ability to ACT like a team, not opposing sides.
People are so afraid of teaching discipline to their kids. They are afraid of dealing out punishment when they do something wrong. And remember. THAT generation will eventually have kids of their own.
As a millennial teacher without kids, I think my generation does not make for bad parents, I think a lot of them are actually very engaged as a counter effect of how they were raised themselves. But I might add that a lot of them are over engaged, and that is what causes the main character syndrome in the younger gen z kids I'm teaching now. Then there's also parents who both have to work so much that they have no idea what's going on with their kid, and the kid turns into this loose cannon that gets raised by the school. Also not a great situation. A lot of millennials like myself were raised by strict parents with high expectations. As children we decided that if we were ever parents we wouldn't make our own children feel like shit and not good enough all of the time. That has led to a lot of the coddled, non disciplined children that you'll come across today. Setting boundaries and saying no are not bad ways to parent, and I think a lot of people nowadays are starting to realize this again.
I'm on the younger end of millennial, I'm 29 and the parent of a toddler, she is not being raised on an iPad or cellphone. We have designated TV time in the evening where we all sit down and watch the same things together. (Shout out to Bluey!) But even more important than whether your child has an iPad or not, is having meaningful, consistent parenting tactics and rules.
To any parents reading this, I want to recommend this book that I am absolutely loving right now: "Don't make me count to three" it is so good, it's parenting from a Biblical perspective, and teaches you how to aim at the heart of behavior issues, instead of just the outward performance of good behavior. Even if you are not a Christian, just give it a try. It's so good! And a nice easy, short read.
I'm absolutely curious as to what "from a biblical perspective" means in the case of this book.
I can only assume this means NT and focus on jesus being mild and obedient. As in, not cursing fig trees or grabbing whips or flipping tables, but the turning the other cheek and if asked for something give even more (if they sue you for your coat, give them your shirt as well). Or maybe familial heirarchy, father at the top, mother next, and then kids, with the emphasis on honoring parents.
I'm just not sure how that translates into a parenting book.
@Alice-Lantern
Your version of ephesians seems to be different than my quick search. Instead of "lest they be discouraged", i'm seeing the equivalent of "don't provoke your kids, instead use the carrot and stick method of your god". Which is followed immediately by saying servants should be as obedient as possible. Equating children to servants.
This same book does include some very negative things towards children, as well, such as cursing your grandchild and all their descendants to be servants to their relatives. Or in luke 14 26 about how you cannot be a disciple of jesus if you don't suffer and hate everyone around you including your parents.
Plus, jesus did say he was there to cement old laws (since they were given by god), which would include:
Deuteronomy 21 18-21 if your child continues to be rebellious, have the town participate in their execution
Exodus 21 17 if a child curses their parent, they should be put to death
Proverbs 22 15 children are foolish by nature; it's your job to beat it out of them
Remember, jesus was told to not heal someone on the sabbath because that was "work", but he healed the person anyway and equated it to saving livestock on the sabbath as not being "work". He wasn't saying "feel free to work on the sabbath", but redefining what "work" was, as saving someone is not work while picking up sticks is.
@Alice-Lantern
And i guess i should say i'm an atheist (one parent was more religiously inclined than the other but was less enthused about their church due to opposition to their marriage) that has had a lot of exposure to christianity without ever believing in it. I view christianity as a whole as on about the same level as jehova witnesses and mormanism. Don't really think it's believable, but definately don't think some of the beliefs are healthy at all.
Like mormonism, you have joseph smith supposedly translating text written in gold (the golden plates) using a magic stone and his face in a tophat, but when some pages went missing he decided not to translate that exact same section again because when they turned up, the two copies would differ despite being "divinely inspired". It just sounds like a scam.
And jws have an unhealthy relationship with anyone outside the religion. Since kids aren't allowed to participate in things like halloween or birthday parties, they are socially isolated from kids not in their religion, and the focus of a jw kid being friends with a nonjw is supposed to be conversion only. Caleb and sophia (animated kids show) dances around this topic but it if you watch it for subtext you'll see that a lot of the lessons the kids learn is that good people will accept jehova into their life. Owen from telltale (i think his channel name changed but i still think of him as telltale) on yt has a lot of videos where he breaks down the show's messages as an exjw.
So i apply the same observer focus to christianity. Like how the bible supports the idea that abuse is love. Assuming the ot god and nt god are the same being, there has to be a disconnect between "i am a jealous god and will punish you" and "i love you and want to have a relationship with you because i am benevolent". Justifications for an all loving and moral being who orders the deaths of innocent children. That kind of thing.
So anything that says it's biblical does make me concerned. Mostly because it can be read so many ways and cause so much harm. For a good example, take religiously motivated gay conversion camps, which is actual harm done to innocent people due to seeking confirmation of prejudice from the bible. Even sodom was not about sexuality, but inhospitality.
@Alice-Lantern
That part of the bible is much nicer stated (being a conversion plea instead of direct quoting). All of it sounds nice except for 3 6, which talks about the wrath of god coming to the "children of disobedience" (in quotes due to different translations most likely changing that part). Verses 8-14 are pretty decent advice, but should be taken with the later mentioned seasoning of salt in chap 4. Like how depending on the gospel read, jesus had two different attitudes to his impending death and even a different set of last words.
Sorry if it's annoying to not have the : between numbers; i don't want it to become timestamps
@Alice-Lantern
I think being raised outside a christian home in a christian town in a christian state can also change how someone looks at religion. There were like 4 or 5 christian churches of different denominations in my hometown of 3k people and i got detention in high school for saying what the hell in earshot of a teacher in a public school. My cousin's family was much more religious and sent their kids to a nondenominational christian private school and the only kid that really moved away from being religious did so due to my influence (i asked questions to be passed along to the church officials (maybe a pastor, maybe a father, i don't remember) during their weekly hour of mass which got unsatisfactory answers and only raised more questions) and more towards basic spiritual. Still the love thy neighbor aspect, but not because of christ but because we're all living things; still respect people in authoritative roles/positions, but not accept abuse from someone who thinks they should have power over you. That kind of stuff.
I want to make clear that the stances a lot of christians say they have (be kind, charitable, and loving) are totally fine things and in fact, wonderful. A person's understanding of their religion is often from their own mind (i should find the study again, but basically the part of your brain that lights up when you think of what god wants is the same part that is what you want and a different part than thinking of another person's wants, or in other words, at least for that sample their god was a reflection of themselves and not of their god, really cool stuff).
But that's why it's important to remember that two people can read the "spare the rod, spoil the child" verse and interpret it how they want, either by saying corporal punishment is necessary for children or that relative punishment is needed for transgressions.
I'll say the same thing I've been saying all along when it comes up to me. Gen Alpha hasn't even left school yet. Let's give them time to properly earn our disappointment.
Well said. Especially with how many people are starting to homeschool. There's hope
My niece and nephew are addicted to their screens also. Almost everything I bought them for Christmas this year are books. But, I found them stuff they would want to read. I used to get them stuff off their list to Santa, but not this time.
I bought them some crafting kits, art supplies, clothes also and they are stuff we can do as a family and spend time with each other having fun.
the worst thing is that it not only concerns one region, it's worldwide, so you cannot blame one government in particular to not being fair with its population, internet destroyed democracy, and gafam brainwashed a whole generation.
I am Gen X and I'll be honest, a lot of people of my generation didn't go a great job of bringing kids up. Emotional neglect is something that has always been a thing in some families and mine included. My Mum was brought up in a family lacking affection and she's a boomer. This is one of the main reasons that start children off on naughty behaviour when young..emotional needs not being met...because kids are not naturally naughty. An added problem in this day and age is enabler parents like those described near the beginning of this video. These parents can't cope with their little angels being called out for inappropriate behaviour by anyone as they now see it as an attack on themselves. Back in the day, kids were raised by the whole neighbourhood who all knew each other so even out of sight of your parents, if you played up, your parents would find out from somebody and you'd be in for it. Now, parents hate anyone telling them what their kids have done. They either outright deny it or they basically defend is saying they did it as kids or that they could be doing something worse. The kids then think they are entitled to behave however the hell they like because mummy, daddy and often granny will go destroy anyone that dares to call them out for being a toe rag.
Just an addendum: most kids are not naturally naughty, some are, and it's a sad reality most don't want to admit
I was thinking about how this problem started generations ago. Pretty much starting with Gen X when both parents started working and the kids had to start raising themselves. I watched this on the 80’s Degrassi show. But at least Gen X was ready to go out and start working, get a car, and their own place as soon as they were out of high school. Teens aren’t like that anymore. But really, ig how can they be when the cost of living has gone up so much. My daughter started school in 2020 and it really messed us up with school. I’ve changed since 2020 and pretty much everyone has. I feel like we’re nearing a WW3, and we don’t have much of a future left. I feel like a bad mom for bringing up children in this awful place that’s like a freaking prison. Also, I think my daughter has ADHD, but can’t get her tested or treated without a teacher. I’ve told her teachers and her bus drivers in the past that I think she has ADHD, but none of them have said nothing to me about it. Instead they let her drive them insane and get her in trouble. She got wrote up on the bus 11 times in one year. They had to eventually get an older student to sit with her to try to keep her seated. (I felt so bad for whoever had that job on the bus) Her teachers usually don’t like her or me. But she’ll never calm down if she has ADHD. Which I’m sure she does. Ppl with ADHD even tell me she acts like they did when they were a kid. Also, if I can get a teacher to help me with getting her tested and treated, the only place to do that is over an hour away from where we live. There’s hardly NO doctors around here who specializes with mental illness or learning disabilities. Everything is an hour to 4 hours away. You can’t even find any family doctors around here. I recently asked my case worker where to find a family doctor or how bc my case workers have all the resources, except for finding a family doctor. She didn’t even know that one. Also, the richest kids in my daughter’s class’s aren’t rich anymore. Parents are struggling to make ends meet. Working all the time to pay the bills and groceries. Not being able to afford nothing. Daycare is expensive too. As a millennial, I’m very disappointed in how our world has become and I don’t think it’s our fault. We go to college only to go in debt bc of student loans. Mine is $89,000. I recently got my bachelors degree in health care administration and still can’t get a job. It’s depressing and has one gotten worse since Covid. Covid ruined everything. Health care is the worst it’s ever been. So many of our doctors and nurse practitioners have quit or retired. I’m finding it hard to find a doctor with HEART ATTACK symptoms. I’ve given up and accepted my fate if I die soon. Also, relationships suck. No one is faithful and everyone is selfish. More of us are single now. The world is changing. It’s not the same as it was before the pandemic, and I think it’s affecting the alpha generation. Everything on the internet is fake now. My 8 yr old is starting to notice that and doesn’t believe in anything she sees on here anymore. She thinks everything on here is fake. She thinks everybody and all the influencers are fake and liars and has been spending way less time on her iPad. She spends more time doing homework, drawing, arts and crafts(she’s talented), reading, and catching up on good 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s music and TV. She’s so fascinated by life before the internet and smart phones. She said the world was beautiful back then. Hopefully more Gen Alpha kids will wake up to reality like my daughter did.
What do you mean by naughty? Young kids entire toddlerhood is about pushing against boundaries as far as we allow them, so they are meant to be naughty in order to learn what is naughty. Hitting and biting is naughty, but also normal toddler behavior that they have to learn is bad.
I completely agree. It’s nice to see someone bring up emotional neglect. It’s not something people talk about a lot but it negatively affects children even into adulthood
@jeanismael1753 I was going to say the same. Little kids just wanna get what they want, and they may not know their behavior is bad but will do what it takes to get it. That is why parents are needed. To guide and teach morality. My son came out hell on wheels, but has been completely capable of learning and it's exciting to watch him grow as a person. That is why neglectful parenting is so dangerous.
If Gen Z adults are any indicator of how terrible children grow into terrible adults, I don't have much hope that Gen Alpha will be better, at all. Sincerely, a fed up and burnt out Gen Z
I think the potential for bad parenting is worse for millenials. Signs of neglect were a lot more obvious when a child got absolutely no interaction with anyone or anything. Signs of "I was raised by the ipad" are obvious, but it's not like the children can't function at all. they're just assholes who weren't actually raised. So I don't know.
I'm a millenial and just have an 8month old and I'll say he has had maybe 2 hours total screen time since he's been born (1 hour of that was from Coco on TV because we needed him to be calm but engaged enough to make a later naptime to fix an early rising issue). Just because there is a potential to just let the ipad raise your child doesn't mean that it's going to happen.
My mom, as a counter example, is Gen X and my youngest brother IS raised by the ipad. So I think it's less of a generational issue and more of a style of parenting issue.
Yep
This!
I work with kids (K through 5th) and i can confirm they’re significantly more entitled and unhinged than they used to be. They hardly can listen to directions and throw massive tantrums over the littlest things. I went to the same elementary schools i work at myself as a kid and we never behaved like this back in the early 2000s
Same here, actually. I live in California and recently graduated and became a substitute teacher. The kids aren't doing well in comparison to when I was growing up in the 2000s. Granted, there were some bad kids here and there, and I did notice a shift after 2015 during high school. My classmates were becoming more openly hostile towards opposing ideas that didn't fit their politics and ideologies. Now I see that change growing almost 10 times as much.
Have you looked into Jean Twenge's work on generations? It's very interesting to see trends on scale. Most generations over correct the parenting trends they didn't like about their own parents. Gen X were left alone a lot by their boomer parents, and they overcorrected to be helicopter parents to gen Z. I think millennials are over correcting being put in front of the TV by not letting their child watch TV, but making the mistake of giving them the Internet instead. Gen Z will likely overcorrect that and block their children off the Internet! Every generation makes mistakes in parenting, and what's a given is that people complain about the next generation. You can read ancient Greeks complaining about how the young people don't respect the old!
I'm an older millennial, I have boomer parents. I have three children under 10, so gen alpha. I would add some observations that are highly unpopular opinions about my generation as parents:
1) most of our children spend hours and hours in child care from very little. Even when they outgrow nursery and start school they're in breakfast and after school clubs. Maybe we need to have a good think about whether raising children outside of family structures works.
2) children don't have any down time. They go from one club to another, always under adult supervision. They need space to be allowed to be silly and run around and do their own thing and pursue their own interests. I do not think it is good for children to be constantly shepherded and to sit down a lot. I used to be a teacher, and I think they just get burned out of behaving well all the time. Lots of schools are reducing break times for the children to try to get more learning done, but paradoxically this will lead to less as the children haven't blown off any steam and can't concentrate for ever. They're just children.
3) screen time is a real issue. I think that's a fair observation. But I also think millennials have very little time with their children (see point 1) and they don't actually know their children very well and know how to handle them, so they turn to the screen.
4) people confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting. Permissive parenting is letting your kids get away with stuff. Gentle parenting still involves hard boundaries, but you are sympathetic to your children's feelings about those. "I'm sorry, you can't have a biscuit, I know that's hard". I don't think I do gentle parenting, but I think it is maligned.
I'm an older millennial child, with boomer parents, but all 4 of my kids are Gen Z, though the youngest, depending on who you ask, is possibly Gen Alpha. I think one thing a lot of people don't realize, that was changing while my kids were in school, is the amount in which kids are being innundated with technology. Kids were reliant on technology in school (and often abused that priviledge by doing things they weren't supposed to). Kids started bringing home tablets and computers from school, which gave them constant access at home. I've known kids as young as 5 to have their own smart phone, for better or for worse. Then the lockdowns happened, and that was a total lifestyle changer for many kids. Parents had to accommodate so they could work from home while trying to manage their kids. They've also become accustomed to having access to their kids 24/7. This results in parents texting their kids during school hours, and crazy things like ordering delivery to the schools, two things I'd heard not one peep about before the lockdown, but after the lockdown the schools would send out weekly reminders not to text or call your student during school hours, and a message can be left at the office, and don't order delivery to the school because it's a security risk. It got so bad that many schools are now using some kind of phone lock system during school hours to try and mitigate the problem. These are also kids that spent a year or two forgetting how to act respectfully in public places, and parents don't know how to deal with the challenge.
And the gentle parenting thing, so much yes, exactly that. We use gentle parenting in my house, and I've trained myself very hard to make my default answer "yes," but that doesn't mean being a permissive parent. That means we focus on respect, and that includes respect for their parents. When I say no they know it's not dismissive, but because I have good reason. No, you can't listen to that loud music at this hour. It's late and the neighbor gets up early for work. Let's be respectful of their need to sleep. No, you cannot play video games right now. You've got class in an hour, and we need that time so you can get ready and we can get there on time. I've also been the kind of person to remove my kid from a situation where they're throwing a fit in a store or at a restaurant. Obviously my child needs the time and space to regulate their emotions, figure out what's causing the problem, and how to resolve it, but we also need to be respectful of other people that don't want to hear my kid scream. That is also gentle parenting, without handing them whatever it takes to pacify them and make them quiet. Gentle parenting involves teaching your child how to behave respectfully towards people around them, and to have an expectation of being treated with respect as well. Permissive parenting is almost a lack of parenting, as parents do whatever it takes to keep their kid happy.
@@sarasynfox there's a lot of truth there. Imo the best thing the government could do for young people right now is to ban smartphones (phones with Internet access) and social media accounts for under 16s.
I think the thing about texting your child whilst at school is bang on. It's just not needed but we've all got so accustomed to relating to each other via tech rather than waiting to see each other that that's even seeped into family relationships.
Well done on representing gentle parenting well in your reply. I don't think I do it because I am not that great at holding my own temper in and I'm likely to snap or ban my kids off screens for their behaviour! But I have many friends who are using it and their children are not feral, disrespectful, all the negative stereotypes. It is not gentle parenting to fail to discipline your child, it's just what that looks like it quite different. Not engaging with your child when they're doing something wrong is not gentle parenting, it's permissive parenting, and frankly that stems for either laziness at not wanting to do the hard work of dealing with the issue, or being unskilled at it (often from having poorly modelled parenting themselves).
Very well said, I hadn’t thought about point 2, but that makes a lot of sense. I have noticed that it seems like parents care much more about their kids having constant adult supervision these days compared to when I was a kid. I think everyone having a phone on them (so they can always contact someone if they’re in danger) may have put people in this mindset to always have their kids with a trusted adult for protection. It’s not bad to take measures to make sure your kids are safe or anything, but eventually they will have to go out on their own. When they do it is better that their parents have taught them how they can keep themselves safe, rather than always trying to protect them without teaching them how to be independent.
As you mentioned, letting them out also frees them from adult judgement for a bit so they can release any energy they have. Very good observations.
As a person who went to daycare and after school care for 5 days a week from 0 to 9, I disagree with 1 as long as the time they spend at home with parents is quality time, but the other points are spot on.
@@Anna133199 I'm not saying every situation where a child goes to day care for long periods is always going to turn out bad. I'm just making the point that we blame the parents for the behaviour of their children, yet the parents aren't actually spending a lot of time with their children, so is that fair?! I also do think the quality of day care can vary, and that it sounds like you went to a great one, but not all are good at helping children learn to share properly or to listen.
This is ridiculous. Generations blaming other generations. What about the parents that raised the millennials?
Absolutely ridiculous. They don't want to be held accountable for their actions
the generation that raised us millenials are not to blame. most of my fellow millenials are just f'ed up by themselves. they love to blame shift their own toxicity and ineptitude. i loathe most of my gen.
@@GiblixStudio my point is a broader one about human nature vs nurture. How has an entire generation simply just “f’ed up all by themselves” without the help of some external factors? Otherwise, wouldn’t the amount of f’ups be generally in line with previous generations?
@@GiblixStudiothats sad, most millenials i know are really great parents
Nah, it’s millennials fault for getting participation trophies as children. It’s Millennials fault for Boomers not having someone to take care of them because so many went no contact with their toxic parents. It’s the attention hogging millennials fault for gen X being neglected. It’s millennials fault for being a bad example for Zoomers. And it’s millennials fault for Alphas being addicted to electronics that we are being pushed to buy while we try working from home. At this point it doesn’t matter who is to blame what matters is what i can do for my child and that is being a better parent.
It's ironic how gen z are lectuting about parenting meanwhile my school complained about kids born after '01 and how awful their behavior was awful, how they don't respect autority and how my gen '99 was the last well behaved generation. The same younger gen z that was critisized for being chronically online and that most likely can't recall a time before the internet and smartphones is now calling gen alpha chronically online. I noticed worse behavior with ipad kids in restaurants but that was probably also youger gen z back then.
Millennials are a transitional generation between the old ways and the new ways, and as such we don't really have a model for how to parent in this new age. We're trying to adapt the accumulated wisdom of everything learned up to this point to a world they never anticipated. Our parents relationship with "screen time" was limited to when to disallow watching TV. We're the last generation to remember a world before smartphones and social media. It's kind of bizarre when you think about it.
Ultimately it may be the case that the only contribution millennials have to make to human lineage is what NOT to do. Though that's hardly what we hoped for ourselves.
As a millennial, I agree. There is a big shift especially when the younger millennials are having kids. I think there is a big divide in parenting as well, and gen Z is also part of this.
I agree... I was born in 1988. We had one TV and it was shared between my grandparents who lived with us, my parents, and three siblings (same with the computer in the kitchen). I wasn't a social outcast if I didn't watch a certain show every week and I wasn't expected to be 100% plugged into what's going on with my peer group all the time. We have a 6 month old and are in the no screens until 2 camp. I do worry though that our reluctance to give our child devices will have an impact on his social life and ability to make friends.
Edit: meaning even after 2 minimal screen time and into childhood/adolescence no smart phone, tablet, unrestricted video games etc
Also the last generation to have a childhood without the internet.
@@westonmeyer3110 and social media. I was in high school when myspace came out.
Actually, Gen Z is the last generation to remember a world without social media and smartphones. I remember dial up and having to hang up the phone to use the Internet. I remember the Internet pre-Facebook and before Google really took off. Most Z kids from the late 90s witnessed the transition in grade school.
It's a shame that people just pop out kids just for the sake of continuing their own legacy or for no reason, if they can't raise them or at least teach them to be good people then you are raising a miserable society.
Girl 3 got me. She is very very very very right. Omg. There’s also the fear of being recorded by others and posted on the internet because that person doesn’t agree with your parenting out in public too.
At almost 50, it's so weird to say that, I've seen all the generations say "this one is worse than the last" or "in this day and time" so many times.
I agree with the too much information statement some parents are overwhelmed with information. They are scared to do the wrong thing because some new study proves that way was wrong or bad.
You are correct about this!! I love to spend time researching and reading studies, but I have come to the conclusion that anyone can find a study about anything that “proves” everything! It’s crazy-making! A lot of these studies, no matter how poorly they were done and regardless of limitations, will get published with a headline like “Breaking new study proves that 3+3 has been 7 all along!” And that is the problem- the study has usually proved no such thing, but information gathered is poorly controlled or taken out of context and then the all-powerful “experts” release their new “expert opinion” on to the world. I think the challenge is to really look for wisdom, not just data. Almost all of our “proven” information is later found to be incorrect- especially in medicine and psychology! I think we need to work backwards- look toward tradition and information that remained true over long periods of time rather than just the latest study.
Home schooled kids are being forgotten. It's becoming more common for diligent parents to homeschool their kids, so those kids aren't in the student populations that teachers deal with anymore, which changes the student culture. The homeschool families that I know all have well-educated, well-behaved kids, who a decade ago would have been teacher's pets.
Isn't a teacher's pet typically well behaved and well educated?
I'm a 40 y.o. millennial parent with 4 Gen alphas of my own and I've got a bit of an opinion on all of this.
Let's start with screen time. My children were given devices on the first day of school. My youngest children didn't have access to personal devices before they started school. They interact with these devices all day at school and they submit their homework via these devices from home. Even if i make an attempt to limit their screen time at home, they're required to spend 6+ hours with their eyes glued to a screen 5 days a week. And then I'm supposed to impose "limits" on their recreational screen time on the evenings and weekends? Miss me with the "ipad kid" nonsense. The schools are training them to be ipad kids.
How about support systems? Millennial parents do not have the familial support their Boomer parents had. When I was younger, my sister and I spent weekends and entire summers at family members' houses. My parents had plenty of room to breathe and be free from parenting. Now, Boomers, as grandparents (and I'm generalizing here), suck. I can't drop my children off anywhere so my wife and I can have a night out or just some time alone together without the kids around. The support isn't there. I read an article not too long ago that helped me confirm that we weren't alone in this experience. Yeah, they're my children and my responsibility, but We were more respectful as children because we were raised by more than just our parents. Also, our parents had more mental space for us because they had breaks from time to time. Honestly, (going back to the device thing) it's easier if the kids are allowed to go into their devices to give us some room to clear our heads.
Discipline. Say what you want the Boomer style of parenting, but they believed in discipline. The scariest thing my mother could say to me to get me to straighten up was "I'm telling your father." And let's just say, Pops didn't play...
If I were to try to impose that same kind of discipline on my children in this day and age, I'd have CPS on my doorstep faster than you can say "future school shooter". Every child is different and some require a firmer hand than others. But society is so quick to tell us how we're allowed to raise and discipline our kids. And when they turn into little terrorists, we're told that we're not doing it right....
The quality of teachers nowadays. I'm pretty "liberal" but in my older age, I'm tending to lean more socially conservative, just a touch, I promise. That said, teachers now are just plain soft. My parents had teachers that would spank them in school. I had teachers who would make you stand in the corner holding books over your head or write sentences until your hand cramped up. Even the gym teacher would make you do push ups until the end of class if you were disrespectful. These teachers want every kid to be a perfect, super receptive little angel. That's never been the case. My kids might be angels at home because they don't want their wifi cut off or worse, but i can't control them when they're in school. Teachers of old understood that and they developed methods to ensure compliance in the classroom. The same teacher complaining that little Johnny is disrespectful in class isn't doing anything to make little Johnny get his shit together and sit in that desk. School is a place where kids are taught to be cogs in the wheel of society. Conformity is the rule. When you allow kids to be unique little 'snowflakes' in that environment, the rule of conformity is broken and you get kids who do whatever they want. And without tough teachers to reign that behavior in, you get what these people are whining about.
I'll stop it there. I could write a book about this stuff. I'm sum, until you have kids of your own, you can't tell people that their kids are rotten or that they suck as parents. No part of dealing with children is easy whether you're a parent, teacher or otherwise. Kids are kids. You were probably a terrible little shit yourself, I'm sure i was...
I agree, and I was a nuisance and am grateful my mom spanked me, because nothing else worked. Every child is different. Some are born very compliant and don't need any form of corporal punishment and it can even be harmful. However, some of us are wild from the start, including my son, and we require more action. This black and white parenting is damaging for many parents and it makes them feel worthless.
Imagine if a teacher try to do what you think they should today😂😂 they would be arrested in a heartbeat
Not sure if you're reading this but to respond to 7:54 honestly I think there will be a new generation of book worms. Simply due to human civilization always having a tendency to overcorrect whenever there's a major issue. I think a lot more of gen z, when they become parents, are going to tend to home school/remove as many screens from their kids as possible.
How ? 50% of the kids can't read fluently by age 12 and Tiktok is destroying their attention span in real time 🤷♂️
With Gen Alpha, if you haven't cried yet dealing with them, You will soon cause their parents are just as brutal and mean as their children. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that you soon learn to ignore and becoming deaf and blind to their level of nonsense.
my nephew is 9 and a kid in his class SLAPPED a substitute teacher. that didnt happen "back in my days" im literally gen z
I'm truly blessed to have had a childhood where the closest thing to screentime to me was watching Fred on a family computer back when UA-cam was an eccentric niche thing that nobody truly knew about. I was born in '01 by the way.
I'm a so-called "millennial" who saw this coming all along and it reinforced my decision not to have any children. I was quite simply taught no parenting or household management skills by my own parents or by formal education, therefore would be hopeless as a parent. It's that simple and I took the most logical decision following that.
Looks as though reality is aligned with the vision I had, and I too see mostly terrible parents around me (or is it simply that the issue gets more attention now) along with incredibly agitated, loud, hyperactive kids (which is somehow mistaken as signs of intelligence!). It's a huge surprise these days when you do come across a kid that's composed and not loud. Glad I don't have to deal with that personally though I won't be able to escape all the unpleasant situations stemming from the parenting styles of others.
6:33 not only reading, but also the sense of patience. Millennial kids were raised on TV, we also had commercials that broke up our episodes.
Now, kids have very little understanding of pacing for a TV series. It's all on-demand.
Yes, I purposefully prevent myself from binging by breaking up viewing episodes.
Also, I do not have the animosity so many others do to FAST channels.
P.S. Born in '86 and proud millennial.
I'm not even sure the kids are having problems, we just have the technology where more people are able to broadcast their unhappyness with their jobs on a daily basis
Bad parenting has nothing to do with what generation you’re from point-blank. People just need to start taking accountability.
That first girl literally made me cry when she was talking about the girls asking to listen to sexual music. A parent has utterly failed if their child knows the names or lyrics to music like this. Failed.
I would have liked to see some data on this. I have 2 (public) school aged kids and our community seems to be full of parents who are concerned about screen time and raising polite and academically capable children.
A lot depends on the area. From my own observations, it seems people in upper middle class and higher tend to be more involved in actively parenting their children whereas lower middle class and lower tend to throw the kid a tablet and mentally clock out or "I'd rather be their friend than parent". Culture and regions will always play a huge influence too on how parents will parent as well.
@DeadLkeMe I wish people wouldn't play the stereotypes that wealthy people are somehow more responsible and caring parents like there is no underlying reason why socioeconomic status affects how much time someone can spend with their child. It also affects the quality of schools and after school programs a child has access to.
@@DeadLkeMe This is why I want to see some actual stats. I live in a pretty well off area but my Mom, who teaches elementary school on the other side of the country, said the attitude and entitlement of the kids at the elementary in the wealthy neighborhood is horrendous and the kids at the "poor" school are infinity better behaved and more polite. It also depends I guess on what specific behavior you talk about.
Just because they talk about being concerned it’s very possible that many of those kids are super spoiled in actuality
I’m a millennial mom, my husband and I have a two year old daughter. We have already made the decision she will not have access to personal screens. She will not have a phone until she is a teen and it will not have the ability to access internet or send or receive videos or pictures. We do allow her to watch pre approved shows but only about 1-2 hours a day max. She will also be home schooled. We push puzzles, books, and art for her as activities to pass time. Children deserve better than screens.
I'm a millennial with three children (16,15&6).
Here are the real issues we are facing in America.
1. Father abandonment
My ex husband of my two older children left when my second child was one. I had to work!!! My mom did the best she could to help me raise them. Our government entices fathers to be absent and mothers to be single.
The amount of fathers no paying child support just means the burden of income falls on the mom. Then having to come home and do home duties. I'm happily married now but that's besides the point.
2. Yes, I'm married but both parents have to work outside the home to make ends meet, leaving little to no time for bonding and children find solace in ipads, tv, video games and social media. I understand. Kids crave time. But then we are threatened with CPS at every single turn. We can't discipline our children (I do but...) most children threaten their own parents with CPS, and the school system rallies behind the child, making it harder for us to figure it out and, therefore tying our hands together. If a parent decides to stay home and one parent works, the child may have the parent but now are eating unhealthy because of funds, which is another thing we get thrown in our faces.
3. The pandemic forced our children to rely on social media. After the pandemic, many children didn't return to school, they became cyber students (my daughter is an example) because she feels the teachers don't teach them adequately.
Millennial parents have it so hard. Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
If we work too much we get hit with, children only want love not things.
If we don't work at all, we get called government freeloaders and can't provide "enough for our children".
If we listen to them and hear them out, we're their friends and they're stepping all over us.
If we go the authoritative way, we just don't understand and are being too harsh.
If we feed them healthy food, we are denying them pleasures.
If we feed them unhealthy, we're making the issues worse.
I'm blessed to say I own several businesses (legit with an EIn number 😂) and have the flexibility to be present for our children. However, we have so many people in our ear. We cannot win!!! We truly cannot win.
Thank you for your comment, I do agree! I was also left with three kiddos when they were 5, 3, and 1. It was, and continues to be very difficult, but I very much want to break the cycle. It would be lovely to know more people like you in person- you seem to have triumphed over a lot! I have struggled with finding a career that is compatible with also being able to be present for my kids. I have ventured into starting on online business, had to put it on the back burner for a year or so to regroup, but starting up again in 2024! Congratulations on your success in that regard! The economic conditions make it hard to remain hopeful and motivated for the future of any business that is not deemed “essential”, but gosh darn it I am going to try!! I work in antiques and vintage restoration and sales- it was going pretty well right at the beginning of the pandemic, but I also went back to school, working in healthcare over Covid, and moved across my state at the same time which was too much, and it has been on “pause” until now. I am hopeful that there will still be a market for me despite the burden of inflation and war. Like I said, I am going to at least try!! Your comment has given me an extra boost of “I can do it”, so thank you! Wishing you and your family and very happy new year and may your business continue to thrive in 2024!!
@kaybeekal happy holidays, and I pray for success for you in 2024. I'm happy I could be of encouragement. I'm not sure if I mentioned it because I wrote this a few weeks ago and refuse to re read my own comment, but yes, I am blessed that my businesses are essential. I own two laundromats acquiring the second one in April of this year. I also do marketing gigs on the side, and I am in the process of launching my own laser engraving business also on the side. In this day and age, it takes multiple hustles to get by.
I also am in Healthcare as well. Was wrangling between two hospitals until I left one to focus more on my businesses. So I get it. If you haven't found one, I pray the right man comes into your life and not only provide you with love and happiness but can also provide for you and your children. I'd be more than happy to keep in touch. More women need to support and inspire each other. Please reach out and once again, May God bless you.
@@itscrisssybaby Thank you very much!
I’m a millennial parent of 4 alpha kids. Im raising them the old fashioned way: to understand boundaries, to respect everyone around them, listen and follow instructions and contribute to society. Not over my dead body will they become entitled brats.
This is because of fatherlessness and the breakdown of the family.
People having indiscriminate sex and now having babies before even considering how to be a good parent. Babies are now accidents, they are something that happens that you have to "deal" with. Not something you have to nurture to be the best it can be.
👏 Perfectly said!
Very sad but still perfectly said!
people don't want to acknowledge how much capitalism has broken down the family. Poverty and over worked parents results in a lack of emotional and mental resilience
Capitalism has nothing to do with any of this, @@Grimm299 .
If anything, Marxism, like social welfare, has destroyed the family.
People seem to ignore the fact that this is the ONLY generation in history entering society immediately after a 3yr pandemic. Where a LOT of people died, financial lives ruined, dreams crushed. Instead of looking down at millennials; how about a helping kind hand?!
there have been many pandemics in the past
Are you talking about millennials? They were in their mid-20s to their late 30s, even early 40s, during the pandemic.
I’ve been working at a summer camp in my hometown for 3 years now. I would not go as far to say that Gen Alpha is doomed, but of course my perspective is a lot narrower and less challenging than that of teachers since the camp is mainly for fun/social things whereas school is sit down and learn.
Each of us counselors have a group of 12-20 to look after and the amount of them that misbehave frequently (even then they mostly do listen eventually) would be 1-4 tops.
I’d say the majority just vibe the whole time and then there’s a group of 1-4 who are the angels of the group. I’m personally not too worried about the next generation, but again what do I know
Im 25 I agree, i worked in daycare and kids are fine... They don't seem that different from my
Its a like a snowball rolling down hill. Every generation there are more kids like this. We gotta stop focusing onwhich generation to blame & start rejecting the bad ideas that creared this situation.
Idiocracy was spot on, holy shit.
So spot on. And I'm not happy saying that.
It’s much worse than that
I think part of it has to do with stranger danger panic and how it feels like it’s illegal to let or encourage children to go outside and play/explore. That started in late 80s-90s. Now we have adults who grew up in this environment where they were not encouraged or allowed to play outside and explore the world. And now those adults are breeding and raising children of their own and planting an iPad/game boy is seen as more socially acceptable than the whole, just go outside and be home by twilight mode of thinking. Because by not encouraging your children to play outside without electronics you’re stunting their curiosity and not letting them explore on their own, I think it stunts their curiosity and creativity. Also the whole lack of exercise thing is not healthy either.
Depends but that still ties back to what I was trying to say. We’re dealing with a generation that has been taught that playing outside alone with friends/siblings is frowned upon because of stranger danger. It’s become so normalized that seeing a child outside with their friends/siblings playing without an adult in arms reach is weird. And the parents get blamed for it because it’s seen as neglect or endangering or something like that.
Imagine ur on tiktok learning how to be a better parent while your kid is right there LUL
As a former traditional teacher, my answer is yes. Gen A almost killed me. I quit because of the kids and the parents who cannot parent. I had a neighbor, 32, with 3 kids under 7. They were nothing short of feral. They cannot read at their grade level, let alone sit through a 30 minute lesson, that I had worked on for weeks, that has to meet the needs of 30 different learning types. Parents need to parent. Read to your kids. You learn as well. Set the example. Grow up and parent!
8:25 When she is criticizing our society, the only thing I see is an insecure adult incapable of taking responsibility. What she calls "parental instinct" I simply call "Think for yourself and be confident". If other people's opinions cause you insecurities, you have a big problem. And maybe you aren't ready to be a parent.
Ok, let me tell you more. I am a dog trainer and often compare dogs with children and dog owners with parents. More than once I had the situation when a client tells me "but other trainers say to do the opposite of what you advice, what should I do? who should I listen?". And I respond: Think for yourself. What makes more sense to you? What works and what doesn't work? I am not going to tell you what is "The Truth". You have to find out yourself.
EXACTLY! The more she talked the more it became apparent that she and many other parents of gen alpha have no independent thought. They just rely on others for answers instead of figuring it out by themselves based on what they think is best.
WOKE ACTIVISTS CULTURE WAR ABOVE CHILDREN.
@@space_pollutionWell yeah. It’s easier to get shamed by a larger group of people if you don’t do what everyone else is doing. Not saying it’s right, but have you SEEN what happens to some of these parents’ lives when someone catches a whiff of nonconformity and makes it go viral??
Young adults find out kids can be cruel and real life is not a Disney power fantasy and when they have a social media platform, they can do the very thing they complain about. In othe news, water is wet.
To be honest, 90% of people in general are awful parents. A child being clean, fed, and in school are the pure basics, not a milestone of good parenting. You are raising future adults, focus on that job. Stop giving unlimited access to electronics and social media, stop teaching them they're the centre of the world, stop trying to be your child's friend and all this gentle parenting BS or co-sleeping. Finally, given gen Z's addiction to TikTok, I highly doubt they're going to be any better.
I don't gentle parent and sleep trained at 6 months and you better believe I catch a lot of flack. You are demonized when you don't baby your child and instead teach them how to be a person.
Patience, spot on. This isn’t a new thing at all. There have been terrible parents for generations. My 78 yr old father is the ‘golden child’ , always has been, basically got away with all kinds of dreadful, childish behaviour because his mother was crap when she first had him, couldn’t cope and got addicted to benzodiazepines. The whole extended family is an utter mess because she felt guilty and never held her boys accountable for their actions, especially as adults.
BABE, WAKE UP, PATIENCE XINA JUST UPLOADED A NEW VIDEO!!!!
Behavior is not subjective. If a kid punches people, that is objectively BAD
Reflection of the parents kids see and learn from a chaotic household.
I teach in about 18 primary schools a week and it's alarming the decline of behaviour in some of them. The teachers are scared of the parents in some cases and let them rule the roost
Is it not possible some of the teachers saying this are just getting older and less patient?no offense but everyone saying this has prefaced it with "I have been teaching for 30 years..."
@@smithereens7105 possibly, but the difference post covid and tik tok is very noticeable
Maybe what we offer kids in school now just isnt good enough for the 21st century... As an ex teacher myself... Unfortunately schools need to evolve
I love it, the one time you hear from a millenial parent and they're trying to blame somebody, anybody else
There’s gonna need to be more boundaries around internet access.
I would like to see actual data on us being the “worst parents” rather than seeing a few people ranting on TikTok 🤦🏽♀️
They just like to blame others
Ironic for millennial to say "they just want to blame other" like they aren't the one raising these ipad kids😂😂
This same conversation has always existed. As a mellenial child, I remember adults saying that kids are rude and disrespectful nowadays. Every generation thinks the new generation of kids aren’t getting raided right. The truth is, we don’t have a culture of blind authority anymore. Reagan just means it takes a little bit more finesse from educators. I’m not gonna complain that teachers aren’t allowed to slap fingers either rulers anymore.
I do think many fellow millennials grew up with trauma and a doomer vibe, the trauma from having too much awareness without a "solution". I often see traumatic responses from millennials, like lack self assurance, and it seems to be happening around the world. That's suck. However, I believe the TikTok videos are overly focused on the bad cases.
With my experience working with young Gen Z at school, I don't think those bad cases are millennial parents/Gen Alpha exclusive. I have friends who are bad parents, and some are awesome. It has more depth than it is because "they are iPad kids" or "emotional neglect"...etc.
my sister is mother of a 12 year old boy. basically she let him be a menace in school she never cared about what he did in class while he was always making a mess and being loud. now she wonders why he is out of control 11 and now 12 year old
Yes. I’m hear so many of them saying how bad Gen Z is, but I see their actions and stories and it’s like listening to a high school drama on steroids 😅😂
Its possible that kids won't read as much but its possible the opposite happens. I didnt read much when I was younger but now that I'm forced on a screen almost all day its one of the best ways to improve my sleep and get me away from a screen. I think there will be a lot more people in this position in the future as well.
I really do feel for the teachers. They are nowhere near paid enough to take the nonsense the kids of today give out. E.g. "I identify as a cat". Feel like most parents these days will find excuses not to discipline their kids due to laziness or wokeness.
Feminism has driven normal men out of teaching. Female teachers can deal with the children from fatherless homes. It's called karma. "You go girl".
You realise it's the teachers who are pushing that stuff the most right? And even doing it behind the parents' back in some cases
You mean kids doing the naturally experimenting roles out, and learn through roleplay and its a natural part kids learn.
"i identify as cat" probably is just roleplay. To like lewarn to adapt to social roles.
Also do you hate nicknames, nicknames are no different and pretty sure going along with quirks what people want is pretty usual, including nicknames, unless yoiu really hate nicknames too.
Who if not in a fun way would even say "i identify as cat" like dah, i sometimes wanna be a housecat too, it means nothing?!
Kids always give out nonsense because poart of learning is trying things out, which involves a lot of weird stuff.
Seriously, sorry you hare kids, but kids, always were weird. I am glad its less about fear and actualy having enough trust to not huide that kids are freeaking weird.
@@marocat4749 No, the public school system is allowing and even encouraging something called "neopronouns" which means you can make up your own pronouns. It's the schools, not the parents, unless the parents are also woke.
While I agree there are definitely neglectful and ambivalent parents, my kid came home and asked me to explain to her how many genders there are and what they were. She did not get it from me. When I asked where she heard that idea from she told me it was from a teacher at school. It was difficult walking back that idea in her head while not undermining the teachers.
I think it's exactly as you said. Some kids will be nightmares, some kids won't. I feel the human race doesn't inherently change as much as we think it does. We'll always be the same brilliant idiots but with different tools and ailments, and so will our children.
I think the job of raising kids has become a lot harder. With social media and technology advancement there are so many more troubles parents have to deal with now that did not exist before.
To say children nowadays are worse I just don't believe. I was born in 1989 and during my high-school years we had multiple occurrences of kids bringing knives to stab other kids every year.
There will always be bad parents and difficult children in every generation.
My husband is a teacher, and he is spending a ton of his energy - much more than is asked of him - to help a 12 y/o kid who can’t read. The teachers who worked with the kid before him tried anything they could, one even went to the kids house to work with him.
The kid is uninterested and parents are completely numb to the fact he’s performing at a level of a child with special needs while being perfectly healthy.
So yeah, parents aren’t to be blamed in all cases, but in many they are. The older generation (my parents) respected the teachers so we learned from them and had to do the same. Young parents now act like they know better than anyone, and honestly their parenting paints how wrong they are
I already know I won't allow my children to have Ipads. I guess my issue is with these teachers. Looking back I took mine for granted, because, my God, most of these so called teachers on social media would be better suited for life in prison over being around children. They're that destructive.
I have several millennial parent friends and none of their kids are this disrespectful. I think bad parents are just getting worse. And I have to also wonder how much these things play a factor:
-Dual income households (less parents at home to discipline and raise their kids)
-Post-pandemic mental health of families (2020 is now going on 4 years ago so what's cropping up in classrooms these days could be a symptom of a deeper issue)
-Lack of affordable childcare
-Burn out in general
-Many families who make 100k are saying it's not getting them far and they're still struggling
I think millennials could have some serious mental health issues and can't commit to the full parenting load. I agree that this is becoming a crisis.
The woman at 9:30 totally nails it. Many younger parents today are afraid of doing things wrong and thus theyre consulting social media influencers (meanwhile their kids watch 9h of cocomelon a day), numbing their natural parental instincts.
I say as millennial parent who is trying to be an authoritative type, respect is not given it’s gained. Kids were cruel since the beginning of times. When I was at school we were called the worst behaving class and once the new teacher quit after 1 day with us. We had very problematic boys. young teachers always were seen whether like friend you can joke around with or annoying trying to be strict but never gaining the respect types. But older gen teachers always were respected bc we were afraid of them. “Weak” teachers never been respected by kids I’m sorry. My ballet teachers were terrifying, I genuinely think they were mad women , and that’s why you could hear pin drop during their class. Im sorry for that 22yo ballet teacher, but unless you’re ready to behave like that I don’t think you should teach kids
Exactly! My son is having behavioral issues in class in kindergarten and he is such a great sweet kid. my 6th grader daughter told me the teacher yells at all the 5 year olds and she seems stressed out. How are the kids going to respect that? Teachers complain about their job more than anyone else and have no accountability. We shouldn’t have our kids just respect teachers because they are teachers not all adults deserve respect if they don’t know how to act.
My son is a GenZ _cusper._ While younger, he was a bit _feral_ but that behavior became better as he got older and acclimated to school.
Something that he does better than us (his parents) is that he has a much higher EQ than we ever had at his age.
Its such a complicated thing tbh. Its the kids, its the parents and its the teachers. All around issues.
I say it depends on where you live too, the school my brother goes to. They're learning cursive, greek mythology, doing science projects ect.
When i was going to school, the school i went to didn't even teach me geography. So it definitely matters where these kids are coming from, and also how much the parents care. While my school failed me, my parent made sure that I knew the basics.
So i don't think the new generation is going to be filled with complete morons, but todays world definitely makes it hard not to become one.
"But your parents did the best they could."
Why do we keep spreading these myths? Many parents could do better, and just choose not to. Not all parents have the best intentions for their children.
I think its harder to be a parent in this day and age mainly because of social media. I think a lot of people especially younger people seek attention and thats precisely what social media gives them. Even if a parent limits internet when they are kids, kids will find ways. Although I would say that trying is better than not doing anything at all.
My wife has just quit her job as a one to one teacher assistant to 5-6 year olds because their behaviour and concentration is so bad. What's worse is that the head told her and the teacher she was helping to just let them do what they wanted. 🤦♂️