I am indebted to Tim for putting words to my inner world due to my childhood. This is one of his hardest to watch, but worth it. If you're reading this, I see you, let's be friends ❤
13:00 💔 My mother told me after I grew up: "Your dad killed your spirit." Now I know what she meant. The good news is that Jesus has slowly been healing me, I've been praying to Him begging Him to heal me for a very long time. And He has heard and answered me. Not an immediate, firework type healing of my soul, but a slow. gradual healng that is still taking place. Finding and listening to things it seems God has put in front of me. such as this video has also helped a lot. You seems like an amazing therapist! May God bless you! I pray for the healing of all those with a murdered soul! Much love!
Thank you for writing out a message of hope. I'm a Muslim and have been following Tim's videos for about 6 months now while also begging God to heal me from something that happened to me when i was 6yo. I realise now that it's a slow, consistent and continuous process but there's definitely been a lot of progress.
55 years old... I have always excused when people ( parents etc) have minimized, misunderstood,hurt me.... I tend to think they didn't know better/ or they probably didn't mean it that way... but this video emphasized ( to me) that I neglected to wonder what about little me... I haven't held her, or to tell her its not your fault even when no one sees or hears....
@@jackdeniston59 Yep, it feels like a guilt-trap: YOU have to be more understanding and tolerant - ...while they can stay stupid as the are never need to talk about it.
To summarize: child is forced to turn off their natural innate alarm systems: gut intuition, conscience, emotions. Child then sets himself up to experience more trauma in life. They also have to murder their authenticity, instinct to connect with others, trust, truth, their own needs (they disconnect from their mind and body to not feel the longing to get their needs met)
@Lisa J your summary is EXACTLY the damage I am healing myself from. My intuition is so strong now, I can determine a person’s character simply by a photo.
I feel you. I was gifted kid had a lot potential, but my sadistic abusers (siblings) - who are dead to me now - have completed ruined my life and murdered my soul.
I'm not an individual with C-ptsd, but I watch a lot of Tim's videos to better understand a guy I still care about and why he may have done what he did to me. I think Tim is truly a gift from God, as he really describes complex trauma almost to a T. I hope those of you on your healing journey find your true self and see the good/worth within you that the ones closest to you did not.
So helpful. Thank you so very much. I'm a senior citizen and recovering from childhood abuse. Your teaching helps me to understand what happened and move to a better place. My life is better for your teaching. Thank you again.
Although I wept through this because it was like listening to Tim describing my life... I am taking away the most important point- I can heal. And God has never left my side and never will. He has been in my pain and is my future. Thank you Tim, this has touched my heart on every level.
I'm sorry I had to be HONEST ENOUGH TO PUT A THUMBS DOWN ON THIS!! BUT ITS ONLY BECAUSE OF THE PART ABOUT SOME GOD WHO'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE A FUCK!! IT'S NOT GODS JOB EVEN IF THERE IS ONE, TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US ALL!!! ITS OUR JOB AS HUMAN BEINGS TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT EACH OTHER!! BECAUSE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR SELF ONLY WITH OUT OUTSIDE LOVE IS THE WORST CRUELTY RHERE IS!!!
I've found in my practice with clients that many who were sexually abused as children, came up with a solution to their problem of being seen or attracting attackers, was to be fat. Their child self understood that being fat was undesirable and made people unattractive. And so, in adulthood, the subconscious program is playing out... "I will be safe if I fat", though on a conscious level and a cognitive level, they want to be a normal weight, but the program that it's running is "if I'm fat and unattracive to attackers.. I will be safe, or feel safe."
This is so well explained and so true. I think a lot of people unconsciously deal with this and that is very sad. We need to share this with as many people we know.
my mom raised me to NEVER say no to her. I never said no to her. i knew it was really dangerous to say no to her. what she unintentionally taught was to never say no to anyone. so if someone bigger and stronger than me told me to do something, I had to do it. I'm really lucky a stranger didn't try to make me get in the car with him/her when i was a kid. I'm not joking. if that happened, i totally would've got in the car with them. i would've thought if i said no, I'd get spanked like 15 times and/or the person would tell my mom and have her do the spanking. she died when i was 19. I've never missed her.
I don't blame you. I had to put up with mine for 54 long years. Cptsd due to her allegiance to "The Family". A bunch of crooks and liars. Been gone 9 years. The secrets I uncovered were unbelievable. I dug and found enough to know why I only got crumbs. She hid a big life insurance policy my Dad left to his kids when I was 7. She hid food in her room while her friends took care of me because of their pity for her. What a waste of my time.
I hear exactly what you are saying!!!! EXACTLY! Then with women, majority of them are led into really unhealthy relationships with toxic abuser types or exploitive sexual encounters and society blames them again for their part in this. So by the time you reach middle age or breakdowns, you have layers and layers of trauma, betrayal, betraying thyself and PTSD etc. I hope you got the help you needed and can connect with people like you in your present and future. Much love ❤️
Oh my God yes!!! The wounded child You might still fear you will get spanked in your 40s or 50s which is ridiculous I used to people please idiots who would be rude to me of the fear they would tell my mom After her death I can finally feel free to send everyone to F Off!! I am not a child anymore! I don't FREEZE anymore! No more anxiety fear and heart crazy beating at taking people's shit Her shadow has haunted me my whole life
My mom died in a car accident when I was 22. I felt no tears but joy in my heart. It was unsettling as one is not supposed to feel that way. I thought I might be a psychopath. I didn’t know what a narcissist was until a few years ago after my life was ruined and in psychotherapy. Now I know why my heart felt joy in her death.
This has really hit home. Such an understanding of what happens. I am not alone, knowing that these words explain what it has been like . Every word hits hard.
You are so right. I can see how I had to murder these parts of myself in order to survive, but also how I knew of nothing else, how could I? Aren’t all families (except the wealthy families on TV) this way? Our family were devout Catholic converts, and seemed to be respected among our relatives & friends. Who was I to question them? Yet I did, I knew the abusive we suffered was wrong. I knew my mom was mean, vindictive, neglectful - allowing my older sister to bully me. I knew she hated my dad & triangulated us kids against him, but I refused & aligned myself with him instead sealing my fate as the family scapegoat. I vowed to never be like my mom so instead I chose the only other role I knew - dad, the enabler.
And they work. I come here 8 m after this comment, after almost completing LIFT, and even tho there’s still a long way for my recovery, I have had the opportunity to live more freely. Thank you Tim. You saved my life and keep on doing it 💕
I've 'existed 'my whole life. 48 years. I tried to heal myself, like major life commitments and have been attacked horrifically both times, ultimately more wounded from the process than I was when I went in. I daily with for death.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown. We have the hyper developed cortex and the bicameral mind (rational and emotional minds or cortex and limbus brain or adult and child minds) and that’s a lot of consciousness to deal with. Can you imagine not knowing what death is? Or not thinking. I wonder what it’s like to not be human.
Hello Tim Fletcher, you do some amazing work. I have watched many of your videos and they helped me figure out my challenges and how to fix them. Thanks for your big heart, it really comes through in your talks.
I want to thank Tim, I'm not sure he reads these comments, but Tim, you are articulating and vocalizing the exact thinking processes I went through when I was 8 years old. I will never forget the day my mother nearly murdered me and my father carrying me back to the house after finding me hiding in the field, and in my condition making a mental decision to begin creating a fake persona, the instinctual will of self preservation activated at age 8 years old makes for some odd things to happen. It's different when a 20 year old soldier is nearly murdered by a enemy soldier after having months of training to defend themselves, it's another situation, when a small kid is nearly murdered by the very adults society trusts to preserve and protect your life. Both my parents were guilty as sin, I remember a odd call from my father 8 weeks after I sobered up, dad said, " at least she brought you into this world" then hung up the phone. For me Time, Thank you for speaking up for that 8 year old boy I was way back in 1983 when these scenarios your talking about and these behaviors were developing, there's so much nerve and emotional damage caused when such toxic events happen as a kid.
I'm so sorry that you went through that as a child, you did not deserve that..... you deserved to be loved and protected..... unfortunately it sounds like your mother was probably not loved and protected when she was a child and this is how she learned what she did to you. I hope you can forgive her. and I hope that you can realize your potential and love yourself the way you were not loved by your mother. it's up to us to break this vicious and evil cycle of abuse. I wish you many blessings on your journey here forward.. ❤️😘
I've listened up to 29 minutes. I have always been honest, I am clear to others on what I went through. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO COULDN'T TALLY UP THE TOLL OF SHOCK AFTER SHOCK AFTER SHOCK! They don't know about Cptsd. I told them of sorrows that you would think that any compassionate human get it 100% immediately. I feel I put it out there, THEY were the ones that weren't not grasping! + there was another 80% untold more circumstances, and traumas not TOLD. A person sends out feelers, to see if they are comprehending, and then you find out they are blank! So "self pity" to me is a label for the vain. Is you are in trauma, and it doesn't go away (+ chemical imbalance! ) etc. + more shocks weekly adding, I think that is not due to self pity. Then add suicidal thoughts, because you have no true support.
Ms. Sherry .. @ 30:22 .. I stoped the video to read the comments .. I was SO happily surprised to find MY recent confusion collected so clearly in your brief comment .. ThankYou .. MGB and keep us all
I can totally relate to this. Especially the feelers part. I do it all the time. “Is this person hearing me?” I think to myself. But I just don’t think people can understand the suffering we’ve endured. Only other’s who’ve lived it. I don’t think others could even wrap their minds around the fact that a human can suffer so much and still be alive and show up and exist the way we do. I see your comment was written a few years ago, I hope you’ve had some healing since then. Sending love your way. ❤
This is the second time I have watched this. I have been searching a long time for an answer to my trauma. There is no easy answer but what you teach helps. I have a hard time sitting with my emotions regarding abuse. I told myself I wasn’t going to be a victim anymore and that no one was going to hurt me again but it happens again anyways. I hate myself for not being able to stop it or avoid it almost as much as I hate the person who took advantage of me. I never want to admit that I still have a problem with shame. I am so thankful that Jesus knows me and I know Him.
Im.actually writing a book and script at the moment for a short film and book, called soul murder, and found this youtube video nice/yet sad to know im not alone. Im looking for personal experiences to include at the back of my book. The violence inflicted upon me by my mother from age 8-12, in a adult to adult scenerio the violence would equate attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, but with my mom and me, the cops came once took her away for 3 days and she came back, nothing like being raised by the devil, powerful video and these behaviors tim mentions or dispositions hit home.
Tim, I appreciate this talk! I have loved 95% of your talks. One talk a bit ago, you mentioned "self pity", and I went ballistic. This talk,shows more new thoughts, perhaps more understanding, I am glad. Cause you blew me out of the water, perhaps not grasping that some people's lives were that traumatized, as what you are bringing out in a brighter light today. I could even bring out ten + additions even on this.Th U
I relate to every one of these but cannot remember anything but a detachment and some rejection as a child. Was I just an overly sensitive child? I’m now 57 years of age and continue to battle with these things. I’m trying to find my authentic self, which has been extremely elusive. What is your story that you seem to know so well so much of these things? Thanks!
Some of it is subtle. It's not so much what, but rather where it came from. In some way, your primary caregiver(s) were wounded or unavailable. It could have been a single, working parent who simply didn't have the time to give, or if a parent had ANY addiction (even work, an image, approval, etc). If a child is worth less than anything else, the child learns they're worthless. Was something else prioritized? Or, if they were disconnected from their own authenticity, they could have given you an image of who you "should" be (thus rejecting your authentic self). Culture also does this to us to. Or if there was instability or inconsistency in some way; frequent moves or people coming in and out of the scene. Also if your family didn't fit the "norm" in some way. For instance poverty, non-conventional dynamics, or some other way that made you feel less than or judged by the outside world. Or if something happened somewhere else and you felt alone or unsupported. For instance being bullied in school and needing to figure it out yourself. With me, I had an alcoholic, absent father and was raised by a single working mother who prioritized working and was very driven. She also dated and I had several "father" figures (either live in boyfriends or step fathers). Every breakup was an abandonment to me. We also moved frequently. My physical needs were always met. But, I was often reminded of how hard my mom worked "for me". I ended up feeling like a burden and learned to hate myself for having needs. I learned that worthiness was in work ethic, sexuality, and the image I presented to the world. But I never articulated or consciously thought these things, they were just unspoken assumptions and paradigms. Focus on the feelings you have now and think about how that dynamic goes back. Look at your relationships with authority figures and pay atten to how you act with men vs women. Look at the themes in your life. For instance, do you frequently have a martyr or victim role? Was that modeled in some way? Were you praised for being a "hard worker?" Discovery can be difficult. Our generation learned to minimize injuries and dismiss our own perspectives. I learned to have more empathy for others than I did myself. We weren't encouraged to do self discovery, but rather to be who we "should" be. Something that helped me was to look at my childhood through the lens of my own children. How would I feel if that had happened to her? How did you compensate with your kids? (if applicable, if not imagine you were caring for a child). For instance, I stayed in an unhappy marriage for 20 years because I wanted my kids to have a stable father figure. Journaling might be helpful. Look at the areas you judge yourself (or where you judge others). Look at your own needs that you dismiss and why. For instance do you people please and sacrifice yourself for others? Keep asking yourself "why?. Anytime you get something like well, that's the "right" thing to do, everyone does that, or you "should", dig deeper. Religious shame can be another one too. You have all of the answers. Your inner child will come out again. It just takes time and compassionate understanding. A couple of other resources are John Bradshaw and Gabor Maté. Both can be found in UA-cam. I know it's been a year since you posted this. I pray it's been gentle on you. Blessings Sister.
@@rochellebroglen4155 ,your reply is so valid and well expressed.It summarises a lot of your study and understanding of trauma.I can relate to what you've written.I too have spent a lot of time listening to Bradshaw and G.Mate.
Extremely helpful and validating. Thank you so much Tim. Your videos have really helped me in a very difficult time to understand why healing is so difficult and how to continue on this path. Thank you for the love and hope you give.
2:10 we may be treating today experiences that haopened 50 years ago. Soul was wounded 50 years ago and we're just finding out about it and starting to deal with that wound today. 13:45 murdering truth, addiction **3 Steps to Heal** -- 25:34 #1: Find a way to become calm and focused #2: 26:30 learning to stay calm even when triggered #3 27:15 find way to feel alive in present and engaged with people around you
This was my ex wife. She could destroy me and be angry but if I got angry, I was a psycho. I was always to blame for her behavior and if I ever stood up for myself I was crazy and needed therapy. Literally nothing I could do was right and she got to mentally abuse me, physically abandon the marriage, weaponize my son against me, ignore church authority, and ultimately push us to divorce while blaming me for all of it.
- gut center: sets them for more abuse - consciousness -emotionnal system 9:18 authenticity : wear masks 11:05 connection and intimacy 12:43 trust 13:50 truth 15:30 needs 17:22 creativity 18:48 spirituality
I've been murdered for 23 years now and am leaving finally with deep scars. Hard to trust anyone anymore. Evil people murder innocent people all the time and believe the murderes
My ex wife murdered my soul more than anyone. The mental abuse was astounding. The gaslighting, the anger, the manipulation, the name calling, the constant walking on eggshells, beating me down in front of my own son, constant emasculation, physically abandoning our home, taking my son and weaponizing him against me, and then her always blaming me for her own psychotic behavior. She even called my entire family who she hates and tried to smear me to people she doesn't even like. Even her own father told me he would divorce her if he was me. I've been gaslit by the church to stay with her and work it out but I think I'm finally at a point where I'm really ready to let go and get out. I pray God will deliver me.
Dinahs story in the bible comes to Mind. Lord knows theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven where the Soul never dies! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Glory be to God our Dinahs of the world where Truth and Justice for them is NOW in Light of LISTENING. Peace Be with you! Always with you! Saved by the Holy Spirit who gives BREATH to our Authentic Self in Clarity the Lord is Insight of. 🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊
Complex trauma and this "soul murder" is also mentioned in the holy Bible. everyone goes through it whether they realize it or not. Satan comes to steal kill and destroy!! Sometimes the abuser is so incredibly good at what they do, you don't even know you've been advised until it's over! But sometimes it gets replaced with something better!! ❤❤
How can a "safe environment" be found? I'm 63 and haven't ever been able to find safe people, even in the churches I've been part of. Even when I became active and fully participating.
Go to "Adoration" or just sit quietly in front of a Tabernacle at Church... spending time with Jesus is safe. No people. No reminders of your home / bedroom environment. Just you and God.
I approached my church during my anxiety. They were supportive but when I didn't attend for a while I was surprised they didn't reach out to see if I was okay. So it enforced the fact that nobody really cares if you are hurting, only if you are fun.
I didn't know the emotional alarm was a thing.. learning more today. I always kept my faith in God, so I didn't murder the spiritual, but I did murder a chunk of the hope. Also authenticity 🙄 Ugh.. Getting to werk, tho 💪🏾
I became an atheist at 14 because I couldn't find hope or anything good. I searched for God but found nothing. As an adult, I discovered spirituality through Buddhist meditation. Now, I believe most religions aim to lead us to the same understanding, and there’s even scientific evidence showing the benefits of practices like prayer. Today, I respect religion and spirituality - not out of fear or obligation, but because I see the good in them. While I still identify as an atheist, I often consider joining a spiritual or religious community because being around like-minded people encourages me to do positive things for myself and others.
When i tried to talk to my dad, even when i was a lot older, he would turn it around and blame me or being up something i did in the past so i stopped communicating.
I feel so utterly suicidal from the life lomg effects of my mother's abuse the way its impacted my choices in relationship meeting an abuser my fanily been destroyed over his evil and brainwashing thrm against me I feel I have no life left or future
The spiritual part hits me so hard. I used to pray so much... I'd cry until I slept praying for Jesus to save me. My mother also loved to say that "she couldn't understand why God gave life to someone like me".
Therapy is too expensive. I can't afford 100-175 per session when Im going to need therapy at least 4 times a week and on call support when I'm feeling suicidal. I don't think it will even help me, I ruined forever
B.Cohen_same here. Use You Tube channels like this one. Start journaling and researching CPTSD. Narcissistic abuse and other mental disorders. Learn about what triggers you and why. A good book: From Survival to Thriving by Pete Walker. Personally for me learning the philosophy of Stoicism has helped greatly to. In terms of suicide think on this: do you really want to End. Or do you not wish to live the current life you have. The second path has a future that can be about a better life.
Start sharing with close friends…find a support group (some churches have staff that can help you)…UA-cam videos…you are NOT ruined forever! Jeremiah 29:11…”I have given you a future and a hope.”
Can these things happen during a marriage? I am an empath and married a psychologically abusive man and it was so covert I did not know what was happening. After over 45 years in a marriage, I had two nervous breakdowns and was given the diagnosis of C-PTSD.
It happened to me in childhood and then again as an adult with the same parental covert abuser . The C PTSD was reinforced over and over and over . Finally starting to not have panic attacks just discovering who I am learning to be authentic with baby steps-learning to be gentle on myself but it’s so hard still not to attract predators- This explains so much thank you 🙏
I am trying to understand my ex husband who came from extreme complex trauma. He seemed to always be in a dissociated state emotionally. How can the brain dissociate like that? Can these pathways ever be fixed after a lifetime?
That's a good question. Thank you for asking it. A few helpful tools and techniques - browse through my Reparenting Series (goes into great detail the various ways we can reparent ourselves as a healthy parent would to our "Inner Child"). Specifically, look up Reparenting Part 12 - Inner Child Hope that helps.
How do you ever get to a point where you don't feel raw, where every gang stalking jack a$$ who gets off on intentionally triggering you doesn't feel like they're pouring salt on wounds they created, or exacerbated?
The problem with this theory is that the elements pointed to (child being neglected through X, Y, and Z) are realities in adult life. . We live in a time where, as adults, we are treated as though we don't matter. Tell a joke, like "why did the chicken cross the road", and someone will scream that it's racist. Help a neighbor for months, then one day when you need 5 minutes of help, they can't be bothered. Work hard at your job for years, then ask for a day off one single time, and get fired. . Shutting down your emotional needs is NOT just a result of trauma. It's a legitimate life strategy until our current society collapses and burns, and a new one emerges from the ashes. Until then, there's really no certain or reliable way to be authentic and connect with other people.
Summary of key points in video: 20 Things the child kills: 1. Their Alarm Systems: - Gut feeling (Ignore it) - Conscience (Honesty=pain) - Shut emotions off (Too painful) 2. Authentic personality (Start wearing a mask to get acceptance) 3. Connection and intimacy (bonds) 4. Trust (Don’t trust anybody) 5. Truth (Dint talk about it, lies to survive) 6. Express needs (Stop needing, disconnect from own needs, attune to parents and everybody else’s needs)) 7. Creativity (in survival mode, no energy to be creative) 8. Spirituality (God is not there for me, no-one is there for me) 9. Hope (Nothing gets better, it just stays bad, why bother hope, things are never gonna get better for me) 10. Dreams (No time for dreams, just trying to survive. Innocence gets destroyed, they grow up too fast. Their confidence gets destroyed. Their love of life is gone. It’s not exciting to be alive. Their eyes are dead. Peace and joy are gone. They feel like a nobody. Their positive image goes to totally negative. Then their self-respect goes. Causality after casualty. If triggered by this, talk to someone for some healing. You need to go through each point above, and bring them back to life. Make them all mean joy…but you need a safe environment. Trauma damages a child’s sense of control (helplessness), of self-leadership. Bringing the self back to life and be a whole person again. We need to: 1. Become calm and focused ( not going from crisis to crisis, dysregulated, hypervigilant, looking everywhere for danger. 2. Need to de-escalate when triggered. 3. Huge: Find a way to feel alive in the present and engaged with people around you (not stuck in past or future). And begin to feel again, to feel alive again. Turning what was maladaptive into healthy. 4. Be honest with self about what I feel, believe, what needs to happen in my life. Admit what’s really going on. You lost touch with truth about what’s happening to yourself. Be a whole person again, not part of a person. Source: Tim Fletcher 🙏 m.ua-cam.com/video/STmZg8SVYz4/v-deo.html
We offer an online treatment program LIFT - lift-online-learning-by-react.teachable.com/ We also offer online counselling - onlinecounselling@findingfreedom.ca
As brilliant as you are you mislead us with the phrase killing the soul. I never knew what was wrong with me until this last couple years. I am 62 and can still love others beyond all my clinical issues. Jesus has my soul and no one can touch or harm that. My soul is alive and well. Maybe this is true in some aspects.
We are all Osiris when we are born and Set ( demonic forces) scatter “parts” of ourselves throughout our past. The good news is Isis ( the intact holy part of ourselves) is now searching for the “lost parts” of our psyche and manages to bring Osiris back. This is the story of the Resurrection! Going back inward to sew all the lost parts of the soul. Becoming whole. Jesus spoke of this. Wholeness is miracle mindedness. Anything can happen. I am that I am. This recognition of completeness is the prodigal don returning back to the kingdom of god/ heaven. The ego has taken over where God or the inner self used to dwell. It is better to rid the self of the false self ego to revive the one true self. The almighty. The son of God.
I am indebted to Tim for putting words to my inner world due to my childhood. This is one of his hardest to watch, but worth it. If you're reading this, I see you, let's be friends ❤
Thank you.
❤❤
How is it going?
This is the episode that has hurt the worst. This has been my life.
Glad you are here. You’ll be ok.
Me too
Same.
Yes
13:00 💔 My mother told me after I grew up: "Your dad killed your spirit." Now I know what she meant. The good news is that Jesus has slowly been healing me, I've been praying to Him begging Him to heal me for a very long time. And He has heard and answered me. Not an immediate, firework type healing of my soul, but a slow. gradual healng that is still taking place. Finding and listening to things it seems God has put in front of me. such as this video has also helped a lot. You seems like an amazing therapist! May God bless you! I pray for the healing of all those with a murdered soul! Much love!
Thank you for writing out a message of hope. I'm a Muslim and have been following Tim's videos for about 6 months now while also begging God to heal me from something that happened to me when i was 6yo. I realise now that it's a slow, consistent and continuous process but there's definitely been a lot of progress.
55 years old... I have always excused when people ( parents etc) have minimized, misunderstood,hurt me.... I tend to think they didn't know better/ or they probably didn't mean it that way... but this video emphasized ( to me) that I neglected to wonder what about little me... I haven't held her, or to tell her its not your fault even when no one sees or hears....
Yeah, the old ´they did the best they could´ evil.
@@jackdeniston59 Yep, it feels like a guilt-trap: YOU have to be more understanding and tolerant - ...while they can stay stupid as the are never need to talk about it.
Thank you, Tim, for articulating what I could not.
To summarize: child is forced to turn off their natural innate alarm systems: gut intuition, conscience, emotions. Child then sets himself up to experience more trauma in life. They also have to murder their authenticity, instinct to connect with others, trust, truth, their own needs (they disconnect from their mind and body to not feel the longing to get their needs met)
and this is why some people, even children commited suicide
You got that right. Lordy. What a psycho thriller life has been.
@Lisa J your summary is EXACTLY the damage I am healing myself from.
My intuition is so strong now, I can determine a person’s character simply by a photo.
@@KatWoodland me too
@@KatWoodlandthen you must have seen through the cv scam and manipulations? I did.
I don't know that my body is going to last long enough to see healing through.... I wish I could have found these videos 10 years ago. 🥺
We are here to support each others. Keep healing
@Nisabehere I'm sure the person appreciates your words of kindness. However, words can only take you so far at that stage..
I feel extremely sad and resentment, angery when I listen to this.. my whole life was destroyed
I feel you. I was gifted kid had a lot potential, but my sadistic abusers (siblings) - who are dead to me now - have completed ruined my life and murdered my soul.
I want to start a band and name it murdered hope or murdered soul lol
I'm not an individual with C-ptsd, but I watch a lot of Tim's videos to better understand a guy I still care about and why he may have done what he did to me. I think Tim is truly a gift from God, as he really describes complex trauma almost to a T. I hope those of you on your healing journey find your true self and see the good/worth within you that the ones closest to you did not.
So helpful. Thank you so very much. I'm a senior citizen and recovering from childhood abuse. Your teaching helps me to understand what happened and move to a better place. My life is better for your teaching. Thank you again.
I'm glad you're healing.
Although I wept through this because it was like listening to Tim describing my life... I am taking away the most important point- I can heal. And God has never left my side and never will. He has been in my pain and is my future. Thank you Tim, this has touched my heart on every level.
I'm sorry I had to be HONEST ENOUGH TO PUT A THUMBS DOWN ON THIS!! BUT ITS ONLY BECAUSE OF THE PART ABOUT SOME GOD WHO'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE A FUCK!! IT'S NOT GODS JOB EVEN IF THERE IS ONE, TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT US ALL!!! ITS OUR JOB AS HUMAN BEINGS TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT EACH OTHER!! BECAUSE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR SELF ONLY WITH OUT OUTSIDE LOVE IS THE WORST CRUELTY RHERE IS!!!
You can thank the self deprecating bullshit in the so called holy bible for 80, percent of the murders he's talking about!!
I wish i knew all of this when i was growing up.
I've found in my practice with clients that many who were sexually abused as children, came up with a solution to their problem of being seen or attracting attackers, was to be fat.
Their child self understood that being fat was undesirable and made people unattractive. And so, in adulthood, the subconscious program is playing out... "I will be safe if I fat", though on a conscious level and a cognitive level, they want to be a normal weight, but the program that it's running is "if I'm fat and unattracive to attackers.. I will be safe, or feel safe."
This is so well explained and so true. I think a lot of people unconsciously deal with this and that is very sad. We need to share this with as many people we know.
THIS is ALL TRUE! THANK YOU! I feel validated and helped, listened to and understood. THANK YOU!
my mom raised me to NEVER say no to her. I never said no to her. i knew it was really dangerous to say no to her. what she unintentionally taught was to never say no to anyone. so if someone bigger and stronger than me told me to do something, I had to do it. I'm really lucky a stranger didn't try to make me get in the car with him/her when i was a kid. I'm not joking. if that happened, i totally would've got in the car with them. i would've thought if i said no, I'd get spanked like 15 times and/or the person would tell my mom and have her do the spanking. she died when i was 19. I've never missed her.
I don't blame you. I had to put up with mine for 54 long years. Cptsd due to her allegiance to "The Family". A bunch of crooks and liars. Been gone 9 years. The secrets I uncovered were unbelievable. I dug and found enough to know why I only got crumbs. She hid a big life insurance policy my Dad left to his kids when I was 7. She hid food in her room while her friends took care of me because of their pity for her. What a waste of my time.
spiritual amputation & amnesia
I hear exactly what you are saying!!!! EXACTLY!
Then with women, majority of them are led into really unhealthy relationships with toxic abuser types or exploitive sexual encounters and society blames them again for their part in this. So by the time you reach middle age or breakdowns, you have layers and layers of trauma, betrayal, betraying thyself and PTSD etc.
I hope you got the help you needed and can connect with people like you in your present and future. Much love ❤️
Oh my God yes!!! The wounded child You might still fear you will get spanked in your 40s or 50s which is ridiculous
I used to people please idiots who would be rude to me of the fear they would tell my mom
After her death I can finally feel free to send everyone to F Off!!
I am not a child anymore! I don't FREEZE anymore! No more anxiety fear and heart crazy beating at taking people's shit
Her shadow has haunted me my whole life
My mom died in a car accident when I was 22. I felt no tears but joy in my heart. It was unsettling as one is not supposed to feel that way. I thought I might be a psychopath.
I didn’t know what a narcissist was until a few years ago after my life was ruined and in psychotherapy.
Now I know why my heart felt joy in her death.
This guy is a genius 👏
I'm feeling everything your saying,,,,, I'm 53 and never knew this horrible feeling had a name,,, and face!!!!
Beautifully articulated and painfully true. Thank you for the upload. Good luck and blessings of peace and love to all those watching.
Thank you. The heavens have parted.
Sigh. I see the title and I want to watch but... oof this will hit so close to home. Whatever this means, it has happened to me :(
This has really hit home. Such an understanding of what happens. I am not alone, knowing that these words explain what it has been like . Every word hits hard.
You are not alone. If you have Jesus you will never be alone again ever.
You are so right. I can see how I had to murder these parts of myself in order to survive, but also how I knew of nothing else, how could I? Aren’t all families (except the wealthy families on TV) this way? Our family were devout Catholic converts, and seemed to be respected among our relatives & friends. Who was I to question them? Yet I did, I knew the abusive we suffered was wrong. I knew my mom was mean, vindictive, neglectful - allowing my older sister to bully me. I knew she hated my dad & triangulated us kids against him, but I refused & aligned myself with him instead sealing my fate as the family scapegoat. I vowed to never be like my mom so instead I chose the only other role I knew - dad, the enabler.
This onne was really painfull, but I believe in what he says, we have to discover where does it comes from and be aware while we apply recovery tools
And they work. I come here 8 m after this comment, after almost completing LIFT, and even tho there’s still a long way for my recovery, I have had the opportunity to live more freely. Thank you Tim. You saved my life and keep on doing it 💕
I've 'existed 'my whole life. 48 years. I tried to heal myself, like major life commitments and have been attacked horrifically both times, ultimately more wounded from the process than I was when I went in. I daily with for death.
Same here to some extent. Not living, just existing.
I'm here because I'm stuck with a soul murderer. I'm fighting to leave them all behind.
This comments is 2yrs ago, did you get out? Did you escape the abuser?
I really hope you’re out of that situation now. I’m sending you love ❤
I feel like every animal other than a human is out in nature thinking thank God I'm not a human 😐
Heavy is the head that wears the crown. We have the hyper developed cortex and the bicameral mind (rational and emotional minds or cortex and limbus brain or adult and child minds) and that’s a lot of consciousness to deal with. Can you imagine not knowing what death is? Or not thinking. I wonder what it’s like to not be human.
Lol... But true 😂❤
Yes! Bring the dead parts back to life! "The Lazarus Effect" is very fitting here!!
Hello Tim Fletcher, you do some amazing work. I have watched many of your videos and they helped me figure out my challenges and how to fix them. Thanks for your big heart, it really comes through in your talks.
I want to thank Tim, I'm not sure he reads these comments, but Tim, you are articulating and vocalizing the exact thinking processes I went through when I was 8 years old. I will never forget the day my mother nearly murdered me and my father carrying me back to the house after finding me hiding in the field, and in my condition making a mental decision to begin creating a fake persona, the instinctual will of self preservation activated at age 8 years old makes for some odd things to happen. It's different when a 20 year old soldier is nearly murdered by a enemy soldier after having months of training to defend themselves, it's another situation, when a small kid is nearly murdered by the very adults society trusts to preserve and protect your life. Both my parents were guilty as sin, I remember a odd call from my father 8 weeks after I sobered up, dad said, " at least she brought you into this world" then hung up the phone. For me Time, Thank you for speaking up for that 8 year old boy I was way back in 1983 when these scenarios your talking about and these behaviors were developing, there's so much nerve and emotional damage caused when such toxic events happen as a kid.
I'm so sorry that you went through that as a child, you did not deserve that..... you deserved to be loved and protected..... unfortunately it sounds like your mother was probably not loved and protected when she was a child and this is how she learned what she did to you. I hope you can forgive her. and I hope that you can realize your potential and love yourself the way you were not loved by your mother. it's up to us to break this vicious and evil cycle of abuse. I wish you many blessings on your journey here forward.. ❤️😘
May god bless and heal your sound heart mind body and life 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing some of your story…
@@astrialindah2773 you’re a sweetie to say such nice things to him🙏🏼
Hopefully god will see your generous heart and bless you as well 🙏🏼
I've listened up to 29 minutes. I have always been honest, I am clear to others on what I went through. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO COULDN'T TALLY UP THE TOLL OF SHOCK AFTER SHOCK AFTER SHOCK! They don't know about Cptsd. I told them of sorrows that you would think that any compassionate human get it 100% immediately. I feel I put it out there, THEY were the ones that weren't not grasping! + there was another 80% untold more circumstances, and traumas not TOLD. A person sends out feelers, to see if they are comprehending, and then you find out they are blank! So "self pity" to me is a label for the vain. Is you are in trauma, and it doesn't go away (+ chemical imbalance! ) etc. + more shocks weekly adding, I think that is not due to self pity. Then add suicidal thoughts, because you have no true support.
Ms. Sherry ..
@ 30:22 .. I stoped the video to read the comments ..
I was SO happily surprised to find MY recent confusion collected so clearly in your brief comment .. ThankYou ..
MGB and keep us all
I can totally relate to this. Especially the feelers part. I do it all the time. “Is this person hearing me?” I think to myself. But I just don’t think people can understand the suffering we’ve endured. Only other’s who’ve lived it. I don’t think others could even wrap their minds around the fact that a human can suffer so much and still be alive and show up and exist the way we do. I see your comment was written a few years ago, I hope you’ve had some healing since then. Sending love your way. ❤
I have been writing my own book myself, and im calling it Soul Murder, will get a copy of this book
This is the second time I have watched this. I have been searching a long time for an answer to my trauma. There is no easy answer but what you teach helps.
I have a hard time sitting with my emotions regarding abuse. I told myself I wasn’t going to be a victim anymore and that no one was going to hurt me again but it happens again anyways. I hate myself for not being able to stop it or avoid it almost as much as I hate the person who took advantage of me.
I never want to admit that I still have a problem with shame. I am so thankful that Jesus knows me and I know Him.
Im.actually writing a book and script at the moment for a short film and book, called soul murder, and found this youtube video nice/yet sad to know im not alone. Im looking for personal experiences to include at the back of my book. The violence inflicted upon me by my mother from age 8-12, in a adult to adult scenerio the violence would equate attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, but with my mom and me, the cops came once took her away for 3 days and she came back, nothing like being raised by the devil, powerful video and these behaviors tim mentions or dispositions hit home.
@TimFletcher One of the BEST videos on the internet TY you have amazing incite ❤
Tim, I appreciate this talk! I have loved 95% of your talks. One talk a bit ago, you mentioned "self pity", and I went ballistic. This talk,shows more new thoughts, perhaps more understanding, I am glad. Cause you blew me out of the water, perhaps not grasping that some people's lives were that traumatized, as what you are bringing out in a brighter light today. I could even bring out ten + additions even on this.Th U
This lecture was truly amazing. I can relate to a number of things Tim said.
I relate to every one of these but cannot remember anything but a detachment and some rejection as a child. Was I just an overly sensitive child? I’m now 57 years of age and continue to battle with these things. I’m trying to find my authentic self, which has been extremely elusive. What is your story that you seem to know so well so much of these things? Thanks!
Some of it is subtle. It's not so much what, but rather where it came from. In some way, your primary caregiver(s) were wounded or unavailable.
It could have been a single, working parent who simply didn't have the time to give, or if a parent had ANY addiction (even work, an image, approval, etc). If a child is worth less than anything else, the child learns they're worthless. Was something else prioritized?
Or, if they were disconnected from their own authenticity, they could have given you an image of who you "should" be (thus rejecting your authentic self). Culture also does this to us to.
Or if there was instability or inconsistency in some way; frequent moves or people coming in and out of the scene.
Also if your family didn't fit the "norm" in some way. For instance poverty, non-conventional dynamics, or some other way that made you feel less than or judged by the outside world.
Or if something happened somewhere else and you felt alone or unsupported. For instance being bullied in school and needing to figure it out yourself.
With me, I had an alcoholic, absent father and was raised by a single working mother who prioritized working and was very driven. She also dated and I had several "father" figures (either live in boyfriends or step fathers). Every breakup was an abandonment to me. We also moved frequently. My physical needs were always met. But, I was often reminded of how hard my mom worked "for me". I ended up feeling like a burden and learned to hate myself for having needs. I learned that worthiness was in work ethic, sexuality, and the image I presented to the world.
But I never articulated or consciously thought these things, they were just unspoken assumptions and paradigms.
Focus on the feelings you have now and think about how that dynamic goes back. Look at your relationships with authority figures and pay atten to how you act with men vs women. Look at the themes in your life. For instance, do you frequently have a martyr or victim role? Was that modeled in some way? Were you praised for being a "hard worker?"
Discovery can be difficult. Our generation learned to minimize injuries and dismiss our own perspectives. I learned to have more empathy for others than I did myself. We weren't encouraged to do self discovery, but rather to be who we "should" be.
Something that helped me was to look at my childhood through the lens of my own children. How would I feel if that had happened to her? How did you compensate with your kids? (if applicable, if not imagine you were caring for a child). For instance, I stayed in an unhappy marriage for 20 years because I wanted my kids to have a stable father figure.
Journaling might be helpful. Look at the areas you judge yourself (or where you judge others). Look at your own needs that you dismiss and why. For instance do you people please and sacrifice yourself for others? Keep asking yourself "why?. Anytime you get something like well, that's the "right" thing to do, everyone does that, or you "should", dig deeper.
Religious shame can be another one too.
You have all of the answers. Your inner child will come out again. It just takes time and compassionate understanding.
A couple of other resources are John Bradshaw and Gabor Maté. Both can be found in UA-cam.
I know it's been a year since you posted this. I pray it's been gentle on you. Blessings Sister.
@@rochellebroglen4155 ,your reply is so valid and well expressed.It summarises a lot of your study and understanding of trauma.I can relate to what you've written.I too have spent a lot of time listening to Bradshaw and G.Mate.
You are such a dear person Tim. I love how you bring God into your healing and teaching videos. Thank you so much.
You are a true god given gift Tim. Gif Bless you and your family.
Extremely helpful and validating. Thank you so much Tim. Your videos have really helped me in a very difficult time to understand why healing is so difficult and how to continue on this path.
Thank you for the love and hope you give.
Wow really in depth. This is pretty much what happened to me after enduring psychological abuse.
Thank you. Thank you for helping me.
2:10 we may be treating today experiences that haopened 50 years ago. Soul was wounded 50 years ago and we're just finding out about it and starting to deal with that wound today.
13:45 murdering truth, addiction
**3 Steps to Heal** -- 25:34
#1: Find a way to become calm and focused
#2: 26:30 learning to stay calm even when triggered
#3 27:15 find way to feel alive in present and engaged with people around you
I’m blown away. Heartfelt thanks. ❤
Amazing 👏 best video. Pain in nutshell and bringing yourself back ❤
Growing up, my mother was allowed to get angry at me, but I was not allowed to get angry at her.
Ditto.
Now I am allowing myself ALL of the feelings I was denied.
Resentment is a biggie, as well as anger. It’s freeing me
This was my ex wife. She could destroy me and be angry but if I got angry, I was a psycho. I was always to blame for her behavior and if I ever stood up for myself I was crazy and needed therapy. Literally nothing I could do was right and she got to mentally abuse me, physically abandon the marriage, weaponize my son against me, ignore church authority, and ultimately push us to divorce while blaming me for all of it.
Thank you ❤ You have put up everything so clearly.
Very gentle but impactful message. Thank you
People have always told me I havd no conscious, this is exactly me
I Love your Work 🙏 Thank You
this feels very accurate, --- it explains some things that happened to me.
So much Gratitude 💚 🍀 🌻
- gut center: sets them for more abuse
- consciousness
-emotionnal system
9:18 authenticity : wear masks
11:05 connection and intimacy
12:43 trust
13:50 truth
15:30 needs
17:22 creativity
18:48 spirituality
19:31 hope
20:13 dreams
20:38 collateral damage: innocence, confidence, love of life, peace and joy, sense of value, self respect.
22:58 healing
Thank you 😘
I've been murdered for 23 years now and am leaving finally with deep scars. Hard to trust anyone anymore. Evil people murder innocent people all the time and believe the murderes
People sympathise and empathise with the murderers. They inadvertently justify the toxic and abusing behaviours. It’s a vicious vicious cycle!
My ex wife murdered my soul more than anyone. The mental abuse was astounding. The gaslighting, the anger, the manipulation, the name calling, the constant walking on eggshells, beating me down in front of my own son, constant emasculation, physically abandoning our home, taking my son and weaponizing him against me, and then her always blaming me for her own psychotic behavior. She even called my entire family who she hates and tried to smear me to people she doesn't even like. Even her own father told me he would divorce her if he was me. I've been gaslit by the church to stay with her and work it out but I think I'm finally at a point where I'm really ready to let go and get out. I pray God will deliver me.
I used to own that book. Wish I still had it because it seems hard to find now.
Dinahs story in the bible comes to Mind. Lord knows theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven where the Soul never dies! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Glory be to God our Dinahs of the world where Truth and Justice for them is NOW in Light of LISTENING. Peace Be with you! Always with you! Saved by the Holy Spirit who gives BREATH to our Authentic Self in Clarity the Lord is Insight of. 🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿🕊
So sad and so true. Looking forward to getting to the other side of all this.
Thank you for this work!
Complex trauma and this "soul murder" is also mentioned in the holy Bible. everyone goes through it whether they realize it or not. Satan comes to steal kill and destroy!! Sometimes the abuser is so incredibly good at what they do, you don't even know you've been advised until it's over! But sometimes it gets replaced with something better!! ❤❤
How can a "safe environment" be found? I'm 63 and haven't ever been able to find safe people, even in the churches I've been part of. Even when I became active and fully participating.
Go to "Adoration" or just sit quietly in front of a Tabernacle at Church... spending time with Jesus is safe. No people. No reminders of your home / bedroom environment. Just you and God.
I feel like the "safe environment" is created in us, not trying to find it outside because it doesn't exist.
I approached my church during my anxiety. They were supportive but when I didn't attend for a while I was surprised they didn't reach out to see if I was okay. So it enforced the fact that nobody really cares if you are hurting, only if you are fun.
I didn't know the emotional alarm was a thing.. learning more today.
I always kept my faith in God, so I didn't murder the spiritual, but I did murder a chunk of the hope. Also authenticity 🙄
Ugh.. Getting to werk, tho 💪🏾
very good teaching
Plenty of secrets & plenty of elephants. Let's talk about the weather 😂
I became an atheist at 14 because I couldn't find hope or anything good. I searched for God but found nothing.
As an adult, I discovered spirituality through Buddhist meditation. Now, I believe most religions aim to lead us to the same understanding, and there’s even scientific evidence showing the benefits of practices like prayer.
Today, I respect religion and spirituality - not out of fear or obligation, but because I see the good in them. While I still identify as an atheist, I often consider joining a spiritual or religious community because being around like-minded people encourages me to do positive things for myself and others.
~You can bring a tiny light in a room of complet darkness and it will light up enough too see,
dosen't work the other way around... ~
When i tried to talk to my dad, even when i was a lot older, he would turn it around and blame me or being up something i did in the past so i stopped communicating.
Wow. I am so fu€kd. Thanks fam.
i had to murder parts of my soul to survive. i'm 41 now.
Same. Hope you doing well .
I feel so utterly suicidal from the life lomg effects of my mother's abuse the way its impacted my choices in relationship meeting an abuser my fanily been destroyed over his evil and brainwashing thrm against me I feel I have no life left or future
Family, neighbors, teachers, & classmates, "friends", are u listening? Why should u....u are masters at destroying me, u wrote the book.
I havent listend yet but i love this title.
Very good, wish you would show a little more of the words on the slide..
The spiritual part hits me so hard. I used to pray so much... I'd cry until I slept praying for Jesus to save me. My mother also loved to say that "she couldn't understand why God gave life to someone like me".
Therapy is too expensive. I can't afford 100-175 per session when Im going to need therapy at least 4 times a week and on call support when I'm feeling suicidal. I don't think it will even help me, I ruined forever
B.Cohen_same here. Use You Tube channels like this one. Start journaling and researching CPTSD. Narcissistic abuse and other mental disorders. Learn about what triggers you and why.
A good book: From Survival to Thriving by Pete Walker.
Personally for me learning the philosophy of Stoicism has helped greatly to.
In terms of suicide think on this: do you really want to End. Or do you not wish to live the current life you have. The second path has a future that can be about a better life.
Start sharing with close friends…find a support group (some churches have staff that can help you)…UA-cam videos…you are NOT ruined forever! Jeremiah 29:11…”I have given you a future and a hope.”
Can these things happen during a marriage? I am an empath and married a psychologically abusive man and it was so covert I did not know what was happening. After over 45 years in a marriage, I had two nervous breakdowns and was given the diagnosis of C-PTSD.
Yes
Yes the covert is almost subliminal, & the outside world thinks they are an angel. I also had nervous breakdown.
It happened to me in childhood and then again as an adult with the same parental covert abuser . The C PTSD was reinforced over and over and over . Finally starting to not have panic attacks just discovering who I am learning to be authentic with baby steps-learning to be gentle on myself but it’s so hard still not to attract predators- This explains so much thank you 🙏
The same happened to me I married to covert narcissist he fractured my soul into pieces
Wish we could see all the parts of soul murder here on UA-cam. I can access this one and part 6, but nothing else comes up. Very frustrating!
First 30 mins accurate. Thanks for keeping religion separate
There is a sociological goldmine in the story of David😢
Soul retrieval .
This happened to me .
I had to murder the truth .
Can’t say the word murder is the best choice of words.
I can't find Back to Basics parts 2 & 3 anywhere. Anyone got links?
I forgot former "bosses"
Thank you Tim
Yow!! Sore spots!
I am trying to understand my ex husband who came from extreme complex trauma. He seemed to always be in a dissociated state emotionally. How can the brain dissociate like that? Can these pathways ever be fixed after a lifetime?
But how do you bring yourself back to life if your soul has been murdered by an adult as an adult?
That's a good question. Thank you for asking it. A few helpful tools and techniques - browse through my Reparenting Series (goes into great detail the various ways we can reparent ourselves as a healthy parent would to our "Inner Child").
Specifically, look up Reparenting Part 12 - Inner Child
Hope that helps.
How do you ever get to a point where you don't feel raw, where every gang stalking jack a$$ who gets off on intentionally triggering you doesn't feel like they're pouring salt on wounds they created, or exacerbated?
They knock you down to the ground and then act like a savior for helping you get back up
The problem with this theory is that the elements pointed to (child being neglected through X, Y, and Z) are realities in adult life.
.
We live in a time where, as adults, we are treated as though we don't matter. Tell a joke, like "why did the chicken cross the road", and someone will scream that it's racist. Help a neighbor for months, then one day when you need 5 minutes of help, they can't be bothered. Work hard at your job for years, then ask for a day off one single time, and get fired.
.
Shutting down your emotional needs is NOT just a result of trauma. It's a legitimate life strategy until our current society collapses and burns, and a new one emerges from the ashes. Until then, there's really no certain or reliable way to be authentic and connect with other people.
❤❤❤ Thank you from Germany
Summary of key points in video:
20 Things the child kills:
1. Their Alarm Systems:
- Gut feeling (Ignore it)
- Conscience (Honesty=pain)
- Shut emotions off (Too painful)
2. Authentic personality (Start wearing a mask to get acceptance)
3. Connection and intimacy (bonds)
4. Trust (Don’t trust anybody)
5. Truth (Dint talk about it, lies to survive)
6. Express needs (Stop needing, disconnect from own needs, attune to parents and everybody else’s needs))
7. Creativity (in survival mode, no energy to be creative)
8. Spirituality (God is not there for me, no-one is there for me)
9. Hope (Nothing gets better, it just stays bad, why bother hope, things are never gonna get better for me)
10. Dreams (No time for dreams, just trying to survive.
Innocence gets destroyed, they grow up too fast.
Their confidence gets destroyed.
Their love of life is gone. It’s not exciting to be alive. Their eyes are dead.
Peace and joy are gone.
They feel like a nobody.
Their positive image goes to totally negative.
Then their self-respect goes.
Causality after casualty.
If triggered by this, talk to someone for some healing. You need to go through each point above, and bring them back to life. Make them all mean joy…but you need a safe environment. Trauma damages a child’s sense of control (helplessness), of self-leadership.
Bringing the self back to life and be a whole person again. We need to:
1. Become calm and focused ( not going from crisis to crisis, dysregulated, hypervigilant, looking everywhere for danger.
2. Need to de-escalate when triggered.
3. Huge: Find a way to feel alive in the present and engaged with people around you (not stuck in past or future). And begin to feel again, to feel alive again. Turning what was maladaptive into healthy.
4. Be honest with self about what I feel, believe, what needs to happen in my life. Admit what’s really going on. You lost touch with truth about what’s happening to yourself.
Be a whole person again, not part of a person.
Source: Tim Fletcher 🙏
m.ua-cam.com/video/STmZg8SVYz4/v-deo.html
Thank you
Can this happen in your 20s when married to an abusive spouse? I feel I have complex trauma from my 13 year relationship 😢
Hi there. Does he offer online therapy at all??
We offer an online treatment program LIFT - lift-online-learning-by-react.teachable.com/
We also offer online counselling - onlinecounselling@findingfreedom.ca
So is Tim Fletcher someone who can be retained as a private therapist
A ruined life forever.....
You need to leave slides up longer or show them alongside speaking
As brilliant as you are you mislead us with the phrase killing the soul. I never knew what was wrong with me until this last couple years. I am 62 and can still love others beyond all my clinical issues. Jesus has my soul and no one can touch or harm that. My soul is alive and well. Maybe this is true in some aspects.
Maybe say, put to sleep....time to awaken
We are all Osiris when we are born and Set ( demonic forces) scatter “parts” of ourselves throughout our past. The good news is Isis ( the intact holy part of ourselves) is now searching for the “lost parts” of our psyche and manages to bring Osiris back. This is the story of the Resurrection! Going back inward to sew all the lost parts of the soul. Becoming whole. Jesus spoke of this. Wholeness is miracle mindedness. Anything can happen. I am that I am. This recognition of completeness is the prodigal don returning back to the kingdom of god/ heaven. The ego has taken over where God or the inner self used to dwell. It is better to rid the self of the false self ego to revive the one true self. The almighty. The son of God.