It’s the same for me. Honestly it’s the way society pressures us to think having friends is going to help feel like you belong in the world. That might be true for most but some people are their own best friend and enjoy their own company. Best options aren’t bad but it’s up to the best.
@@celinahuezo5518 being alone and lonely are two different things. You can also be lonely around friends too. That’s why it’s important to enjoy your own company before enjoy everyone else’s
I just turned 30. I think the reason I don't "have friends" is because I see friendship as something deeper than it actually is. For most people I hang out with, they are happy to see me once a week and do the same activity, I on the other hand would like to see people to do different activities as well as the one we already do. I also want to be able to call them and talk instead of just texting on discord. I also would like to come over to my friends home and vice versa, but other people see that as too much. I think my idea of friendship is something I put on a pedestal just like I did with other things I didn't have growing up. Unrealistic = unattainable
Honestly I feel exactly like you about friendship. For me friends are supposed to be actually close, talk for the sake of talking instead just for when you want something from that person and be confortable enough with them to be able to ask and relay on them when you are going through rough times, and also help them when they are in a difficult situation. Anything else feels just like close acquaintances. I think you're right. How are you going to achieve that level of intimacy if you are engaging with each other sporadically?? Feels like other people just don't want to commit seriously
I feel the same way, like my standards for close friendships are too high for most people who's standards for friends seem too low like just friendly acquaintence level low. I just want a close friend who understands me, is there for me at my best snd at my worst, is someone with whom I have conversations over deep topics with and with whom time just spend in silence with not nessecarily needing to talk or hang out all the time feels comfortable and appreciative.
My concept of friends is the same. I desire that level of closeness. I also had a discussion with someone I considered a close friend who told me she is fine with us not speaking for months and for her that changes nothing. It was shocking and even hurt, that’s when I realise we had two different views of what a friend is.
Depression has taken away my enjoyment of many hobbies. Besides the fact that it is worth seeking help, there is something I would like to share. If your current hobbies no longer bring you joy, it's worth trying something completely new. You just have to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that not everything will work out right away, and that's okay. Open yourself to new experiences without great expectations and you may be positively surprised. That's how I started cooking and now I'm amused by the memories of my failed attempts.
I have one friend at work and she’s the highlight of my day. Really appreciate her. I think we can all value alone time, but also life is about human connection.
I haven't had a single friend for over five years, and admittedly, it is my fault. I'm almost done with college, and I do wonder how I'll make friends after I graduate. I have heard that making friends becomes increasingly difficult after college. Now that I think about it, I never actually learned how to make friends. It feels like everyone got a "how to make friends" guide, but mines got lost in the mail. I moved around a lot when I was younger, and was always the "new kid". I was very shy and introverted, so I never talked to anyone in my classes. I would go months without any friends until someone noticed that I didn't have friends, and "adopted" me. To me, it was baffling when another new student became popular in class. I didn't even know how people became friends with someone, let alone get a bunch of friends. And because I was always the "new kid", I was also always the "backup" friend. I could never stick around long enough to become anyone's best friend, because I would be gone the next year. My group of friends knew each other since childhood, and had lots of inside jokes. To be honest, I always felt left out because of that, even though my friends didn't intend that. I also have fearful avoidant attachment, which makes making close friends very difficult. I feel like I'll lose my autonomy and independence if I become too close to someone. I'd rather have no friends than to be emotionally indebted to someone.
Hey, after many years of not having many friends I'm now 36 and have recently made a few great friends at work 😊 We're about 8-10 people, different ages between 30-62 years old, we work from home and meet for lunch about once a month. We are not too demanding with each other, as we all have families, and some of us really like to spend time on our own. To me this kind of socializing is perfect, I do not need more (I mean besides my family - husband, mother, brother and dog).
I feel the last point. I have friends and it’s hell for me when they don’t give me the dose of attention and validation i need. It feels like I’m losing everything and can’t do anything about it. Before I didn’t have friends but i felt so painfully lonely. It felt like my existence is irrelevant. At least i was independent but yeah I really don’t know what’s better for me. Having friends or having none
It's good to have friends. It's hard making good ones. What you feel today you also might not feel tomorrow, especially as you grow and begin to crqve different perspectives.Its hard, but it is valuable
A few years ago, any time I'd go out and meet new people, I felt like I didn't belong. I'd get panic attacks and thought everyone else was having a good time beside me. I isolated myself more and more and wondered if I was gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. At some point I realized, what held me up were all these insecurities and hatred I had for myself. It actually took me a lot of self work, alone, to learn to love myself for who I was again. And I am still on that journey. Luckily I had people around me, who made me feel accepted. Who knew my flaws and still wanted to stay with me. Back when I was feeling so lonely, I shut out exactly those people that had been around me for so long. Now I am still often insecure and there are days were I feel like a complete outcast. But there are also these days, were everything feels so easy and I can just let loose when I'm around others. It really comes all from within. When you are at ease with yourself and are not afraid to open up to others, it's so easy to meet people and form real, deep bonds with others. But as long as you fight against yourself and do things just to fit in or do what society expects from you, it will always feel difficult and be hard. Remember that making new friends, going out, all that stuff, it should be fun, not something you force yourself to.
30 seconds in and I already can’t relate. I love going out and I love doing stuff. I just feel stuck because I’m neurodivergent and it feels like I have to choose between being myself or being around others
@@commonsense3921not all neurodivergency is the same, I for example like going out and love and need to have people around me, however people don't always enjoy being around me due to things like me not getting their humor at times, taking things too seriously, being socially awkward etc, so yeah, it is a problem
@@commonsense3921 I'm a neurodivergent EXTROVERT. Neurodivergence is not synonymous with introversion and I'm convinced the reason why many neurodivergent people believe they're introverted is because of the pressure to be something you're not. I can definitely have sensory issues when being around others but I love dancing and singing and going on nights out. It just sucks because it lowkey requires masking
I’m 22 and I just moved to a new city a few months ago. I think the hardest part about making new friends is finding friends that have similar interests, I wish there were more events I could attend to meet more similar people. I also found that a lot of people that I interact with already have a pre established friend group and would rather have me be a side friend rather than invite me into their group.
When I was younger I was overly trusting and was constantly used by ‘friends,’ now that I’m older I have major trust issues and don’t even know how to get close to someone, I’m 27 btw and was voted ‘most outgoing’ in my 8th grade year book. It’s wild to me that I ended up alone or surrounded by fake friends on my adult birthdays. Part of it has to do with trauma, but it’s intriguing to see videos like this and read comments from others who feel the same way
It’s very hard to go from having enough friends to having no friends. That’s what I am currently going through, and the simple reason for that is feeling like I’ve outgrown those friendships. I want deep and meaningful connections that are healthy and reciprocated, not filled with pessimistic projection or insecurities. I don’t want friends who treat me one way and then speak about me another way behind my back. Im too old for that!
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
My last “friendship” was in college. This person became my roommate in my sophomore year… by the end of the year, we couldn’t stand each other. On the last day when I was moving out, she accused me of moving her clothes from out the shared bathroom (which was not true because her clothes weren’t even in there)… that made me realize that she wasn’t really a friend of mine at all. I blocked her and finished school a loner. Since then, I view the idea of “friendship” differently and trust is a big thing around it.
i love how this video isnt like other videos that just say 'go out to events and meet people!!!', thank you for unpacking why its not actually that simple and there are actually many layers to making meaningful connections with people and making friends..
What if its not? U know people are not defective for wanting to be alone and being alone. Clearly too many extroverts on the planet making and setting the rules and if u don't comply ur weird or have issues girl BYE
Gawd. You are my new personal best friend. We don't know each other in real life, but you are my friend. You actually make my life so much easier and you've helped turn the world through my eyes into a better place. Thank you❤
My entire childhood my imagination was always about having a really close group a friends, driving at night, singing, just existing outside of time while growing old with my friends. But then I grew up, and I lost people and I realized that having that dream was far more out of my reach than I could have possibly ever imagined. My entire life I tried fitting into the social stability I never understood. So in high school I just stopped trying, I stopped chasing people and that rush of anxiety that I thought was adenine with talking to people. I have my one best friend who has moved away but we are still so close. And I have everything I want, I realized that I didn't actually want a friend group I just wanted to feel like I belonged. And my one best friend makes me feel that enough. So I'm happy with what I have! My parents don't understand how I'm happy being so alone but it's comforting actually.
I didnt realize I just dont enjoy going out and I had this image of my life I should be living. it wasnt real. it was built by movies and tv shows and societal pressure along with my own imagination. I just started being happier without stressing myself out for no reason. I am now trying to enjoy all my interests, and I definitely was not making friends for a healthy place! you nailed it with this video. thanks for speaking so much sense
Very sound advice! I also have discovered these things throughout this year after trying to build myself again. At my current work I was almost desperate to make friends, because I was so insecure and a people pleaser. Now I have the mindset "I don't want to work here next year, so whatever these people think of me doesn't matter" and that is why I became more myself and surprise surprise I got along with much more people and I didn't get exhausted all the time. I am not completely there yet, because I hope one day I find my bestie, but I am on the right track I think
feel so seen w this video, im 20 this year feeling left out n missing out so much things like i havent met anyone or achieve anything. well still working on this point of view. thanks for this great work
I normally do not comment on videos however I just wanted to say that I truly felt touched by the messages of this video and feel genuinely seen. Thank you! I’m also a doctor and could not agree more with you about the value gap and social isolation associated with the journey of becoming a doctor. I particularly resonated with the importance of finding a life outside of our career, there is so much more to us and so much more to life ❤
A fellow medic! I’m so glad you found this helpful, medicine really does suck the life of us at times, it can be hard to find a life outside of it but so important
i’ve had thesame group of friends since middle school. We’re very spread out so we don’t see each other at all. Tbh i’m just a guest in that group, so i decided to not care that much anymore. I don’t even see how to include an IRL friend in my lifestyle so i’m learning how to have fun alone, what i like to do, what i’m scared to do. It’s very fulfilling
I only have 2 friends, and they live in different states, but im fine with that. I like being alone and rarely feel lonely because i found peace doing things alone and in myself.
Having a good, healthy group of friends is one of the best things in life. But it's cultivated, it's maintained and it helps you grow and improve and it's great for mental health. Not having friends is not something to normalize in my opinion.
I am actually going through very lonely period in my life, I have always wanted a sisterhood but haven’t had luck with that, I totally agree with friends being so good for your mental health, what do You recommend for the people like me that are going through a lonely time but want to make friends?
You're absolutely tone deaf. What do you mean by 'normalise'? Your opinion doesn't have to be the dominant one all the time. Did you listen to anything she said and the points she made? She didn't say people should actively avoid friendships. She said that we shouldn't force it to happen for the sake of saying you have friends. You can't be that thick surely?
Why is it hard for society to understand “some” people are happy to be alone? I love it, Yes there are rare occasions you wouldn’t mind company but it is also true for someone who is constantly around people they still want some alone time. We are human we often want some change sometime that doesn’t mean we want to abandon what we are most comfortable with.
Hey! New subscriber here 😊 I turned 40 this year and I can still relate with what you’re saying here. I’m totally fine being my own friend. I’ve lost so many superficial friendships and I have a few ones now but I’m ok just being my own friend. It helps that I can share everything with my husband so I don’t really feel that need to find friends anymore. Great video. I enjoyed every bit of it.
Truth? I'm 48 & I think a lot about this. I think so much of our concept of friends was born in 60 to 70 years of propaganda when historically people had big families and were "friends" with one or several members of their family... be it a brother... a sister... or that one cousin that just gets you. And it makes sense why that would be the case. There's shared customs, traditions, and interests in addition to shared personality traits..a shared sense of humor...and a shared background even if a bit distant in families. Now, we're kinda thrust into a world of strangers in the name of "socializing" while families dwindle in size & grow more distant. For instance, I'm an only child born at the tale end of what would become known as the "latch-key" generation. So, I spent a lot of time alone and learned to love it. By the time I reached my 20's, the world was in flux. The feminist push for women to be career oriented, rather than family oriented was just beginning to build momentum having first struck my mom's generation. And, as a woman, I found women do have a natural pull toward building a family. So, while I was trying to go the career route most of my friends had already had kids (plural) right outta high-school. They wanted to be at home with their kids & they didn't really have the money for frivolous fun... most becoming single moms. And it's weird, because they hated being moms but didn't. And I think that was a lot because of propaganda telling them "women deserve better" and because feminism really did absolve men from taking responsibility for taking care of their families as more and more families self-destructed right as they got their start. And this problem has only gotten worse. I think the truth is... we've been sold a lot of lies even if well-intentioned. Human's are not designed to be social party animals living it up with "friends" in a world more multicultural (meaning we have less in common). We're designed to create and build families... build tribes... build nations. But, because we're doing the opposite... more and more of us are just alone & happy to be alone rather than facing the work of making friends with people we have nothing in common with at a time when everyone's looking to get their feelings hurt about something and narcissism grows to epidemic proportions as per very politicized pushes. I think this is why so few of us have or want friends. It's been a con all along.
I just joined the community wait list . I cann see this having potential. It would be nice to have just one online, hobby class /sew along/ book club/ meal share / Personal story time or ask the audience 😆 time sessions during the week, and then one random Saturday, lunch meet and greet in London (if people live close by). The reason why i mentioned during the week is because very often we forget to enjoy our lives after work. Some people go to bars, restaurants or gyms, evening classes, but sometimes we just go straight home to Netflix. we need to start enjoying our own lives even if we are alone.
There are million of people in this world and each person has their own characteristics preferences etc. some of us just like living with no friends either because we chose to or we experienced a lot of trauma when having friends. It‘s when you make peace with the expectation of the outside world on how we should be in other peoples eyes when we truly find ourselves and having no friends is just another thing thing like not liking pizza hawaii as an example. It doesn‘t define us and I hope it would be more accepted in society and you wouldn‘t be seen as weird or a sad person when it is not like this at all.
I understand that some people might appreciate solitude or find comfort in the idea of not having friends. However, promoting this as an ideal choice can be dangerous. Humans are fundamentally social beings, and friendships are essential for our emotional and mental well-being. Relationships, even when complex, help us grow, find support, and share experiences. Prolonged isolation, on the other hand, can have negative effects on mental health, like anxiety or depression. Promoting the idea that we can do without friends may resonate with those who already struggle to socialize, reinforcing a tendency toward isolation rather than encouraging them to build meaningful connections. We don’t need a large circle of friends, but even a few genuine relationships can make a huge difference in our lives.
@blackbird45 Genuinely curious about why isolation caused anxiety and depression? I have acquaintances here and there and one really close family member and even then, sometimes idk how to navigate the close one. I find that it makes me so anxious to be around people. Trying to form deeper connections feels like pulling teeth, I never know what I'm doing wrong. I find so much relief being able to do most things on my own
@ellakaari9479 I am not a psychologist but I see one for many problems including fear of attachment and abandonment. I also learned a lot about the psyche because I always wanted to know why I acted in certain ways so I will try to answer you in two comments because it is quite long. Isolation can really contribute to anxiety, depression, and other emotional difficulties for several reasons. Well, when we’re isolated, we lack emotional support. Being around others often allows us to share our worries, feel understood, and less alone, which helps to relieve stress and anxiety. Without that, we can end up going over our thoughts without any outside perspective. Being alone can amplify negative thoughts. Sometimes, when we’re by ourselves, we start to criticize ourselves or replay our mistakes over and over, and these thoughts can become overwhelming, especially when there’s no one around to remind us of our strengths. Isolation also encourages rumination, meaning we can get stuck going over negative ideas or experiences in a loop. It creates a kind of vicious cycle that makes us feel more and more depressed or anxious. When we’re isolated, it also becomes harder to manage our emotions. Talking to someone often helps us get some perspective on our problems, but being alone can make it tough to regulate what we’re feeling and to calm our sadness or stress. There’s also the fact that, by isolating ourselves, we lose a bit of the habit of being with others. So social situations can become more stressful, and this might even discourage us from going out or seeing people because we feel less comfortable. Isolation even changes our brain chemistry. When we’re alone for too long, our brain produces less of the chemicals related to well-being, like dopamine and serotonin, which makes us more vulnerable to depression. It's takes away a lot of important things that keep us emotionally balanced. Over time, it can really feed into issues like anxiety or depression.
@ellakaari9479 It seems like you might be experiencing some difficulty with attachment or close relationships, which could be contributing to the anxiety you feel around others. Feeling uncomfortable around people, struggling to build deep connections, and finding relief in being on your own could suggest a certain fear of the vulnerability that relationships involve. Some people experience what's known as 'avoidant attachment': they feel more comfortable with independence and might unconsciously fear becoming too vulnerable or giving too much of themselves in a relationship. It could also be linked to social anxiety, especially if you often feel lost, wondering if you're doing something 'wrong' without really knowing what.
@blackbird45 This is a lot to process. Maybe I'm just rambling about nothing, I've had really bad anxiety since I was like 12, I'm 23 now, and STILL I never felt better with other people around me, even when I did have friends, I actually felt more isolated around them. I think over time, I've become quite okay with not being social. I've learnt to go through my emotions alone, without feeling guilty for bringing down the mood . Other people make me feel awful for being emotional, I'm always sensitive and annoying, according to them (To be fair, I think I may have a tendency towards self pity so I completely get it if they don't wanna be around me). The one close relationship I have makes me feel worse sometimes for talking about my worries and fears. I learnt to work on my hobbies/learning skills to distract me from ruminating. I gain perspective from watching videos/reading about people who've had the same/similar experiences in life because it seems more reliable to me. I think the acquaintances and close family member I have are really enough socialising for me. I don't think I have the ability to have more than that. I only socialize when it's a situation I can't avoid, like uni. I genuinely don't mind not having closer relationships and I kinda don't like how society makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for thinking like this. I think you're right about the attachment issues, but I just can't be arsed to try to form close relationships in this day and age. I think it's just one of those things I've accepted about myself.
When you’re in an atheist country, it’s difficult to meet friends. You have to spend some time finding yourself with spirituality and surrounding yourself with the same kind of spiritual people. It’s really that simple.
Nice video. But no one should make peace with having no friends, we all need good company and support. I think we need peace with ourselves and the past, but have faith that to keep on seeking good friendships.
@ to be honest these videos come from extreme hurt. A lot of people are trying to make friendships and connections but are often met with rejection, or faced with people who aren’t willing to look for friends. That can make someone want to give up. It can distort how someone sees friendship. But what we have to remember is there are good people out there who are looking to give good companionship, it’s just that we have to keep a healthy heart and not give up on ourselves. I do wish society wasn’t so bleak these days. It affects people a lot more than they think.
@ there’s literally nothing that proves long term isolation is good for people. Why do you think Americans are so mentally ill now? We’re social creatures by nature.
@@lorddj9910 If you constantly being told that you NEED friends it will be your reality and experience, The truth is you is always by yourself because everything is you, Not getting into that, It’s all mental, There are people who don’t feel sane until they are by themselves…….You can be so high and excited about spending time with yourself if you only knew happiness CAN ONLY COME FROM YOURSELF, I’m talking about true happiness, True happiness is a decision made in practiced through self love, You will have all the power because your happiness doesn’t depend on anything OUTSIDE of yourself, You can’t control things outside of yourself so your friends will bring you happiness today and pain tomorrow. Also if someone come into your life (which wouldn’t matter) will be the right people because you are in love with yourself.
I'm 45 and it's so peaceful to not have any.. u hardly even speak to those trifling colleagues. They are haters. This morning one of them made small talk after she ran into me at parking bay. I literally refused to walk along side her told her I'm gonna rush.
Having no friends is literally bad for your health. So no, making peace with having no friends isn’t good. But this video says meet more people by being ok with being alone.
I'm 40 and i feel like every woman i know has a big friendship group and I've never had that so I genuinely think there is something wrong with me that I cannot see.
Honestly most people do not have the capability to return what you pour into friendships. I have like 3 close friends and thats all i need. Why am i going to suck in someones problems so much and try to solve them? when i have my own problems? So many people in this world I cannot relate to. And im tired of trying. People are SO into themselves these days.
It's hard for me to make any friends at all. I just think it's for the best that I don't need any friends since I can't tell if they are good friends or bad friends. Sometimes, I can't even have nice conversation with people that I don't know. I don't want to let people know what are my hobbies or things that I don't know about since they may make fun of me. Going to events doesn't help either. Reminds me of the dance and I couldn't dance and all I did was sit down and listen to the music from the DJ. It's just hopeless for me. I'm not even approachable to people.
i just realized all the friends ive made have been through mutual friends or class, thats it. and when i do make friends in class i really struggle moving the friendship beyond just “class friends”
I'm trying to make friends but maybe it's my age and people my age already have friends that they want. I'm slowly coming to the realization that I may never have any friends and I have to make peace with that somehow
Subscribed! Really enjoy your content ❤ also very impressive that you’re working on building an app. I think it would also be wonderful if you could post the steps you took and your journey to get your app up and running along with the building process🙏
Last year I ended almost more than half of my friendships because I felt like they were no longer serving my best purpose. I have zero friends now people call me selfish little do anyone knows why I needed to get rid of them all
I can't do this anymore i thought that i would get used to it but I'm just sadder and sadder everyday and i talk to myself because I'm my only friend i try to do it less because i look like a schizophrenic idiot.
I have one close friend and love hanging out with them but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to rely on them too much from what people have said and how society says it’s good to have more than one friend, and I would like to have more close friends that aren’t just acquaintances but at the same time I feel like I’m at a point where I’m ok with the acquaintances I have (even if I hang with them or don’t and just communicate over text) and the one close friend. My mind just feels all over place like is it bad to have the one close friend that I hang with and feel satisfied without wanting more friends or should I be at a place where I should seek other friendships too? I was also desperate for more friends by going on Bumble BFF and trying to communicate with people but just became a bit too overwhelming communicating and trying to keep it up, not knowing if these people are meant to be my long-term friends or not. I feel like now I'm just going with the flow and trying not to put all my focus on making new meaningful connections and just enjoying myself, getting out there more, loving the hobbies I like to do and being my true self and if I'm meant to have more connections, then I know they will come in the right time
I'm almost 20 years old and I started college like 2 months ago. I though I will make friends there. There was a group of 5 of pretty cool people. For few weeks I was getting along with 3 of these guys, but whenether another 2 people(that clearly didn't tolerate me and were very dominant in the group) joined I was always left out by everybody. So at the beggining of this week the "leader" simply told me to f*off. I don't care what tone or words she used, message was clear. She was the only one talking, and she was talking for a group. Everybody else was just starring at their hands in silence. When she left I simply started crying and nobody fucking cared to even explain anything. Even these 3 people that I though I could get along with. Day after 1 one of the girls said "hi" to me. I didn't answer because I was deep in my thoughs. And I think it's actually better. Why would I want to be friends with people who are friends with the assholes? I don't understand this generation. Either nobody wants to be friends or they're fake and mean to you
App creation cost on low end $50,000-90k minimum. I have friend who created one and ruined them financially. Be careful. I think it's important to teach people to be realistic in their goals. Start small.
We all need friends. We are social creatures. Some validation can't hurt, the total lack of it does hurt, even when you know yourself enough to value you. You will end up damaged/hurt regardless. Med school to find intelligent people, is the wrong reason to study medicine. They're not intelligent either, more like strange, weirdos, the bad kind usually. Quiet and reserved most of them in an eerie way. Hard working maybe, not intelligent. You are right at least looking for this in friends. If your friend can't count, they don't count you as a friend either, they don't have the emotional int/capacity for this, so why give them yours? They won't appreciate it anyway. Not suggesting you become a snob, hunting for the Sherlock fakery kind, just be wary of the opposite too, which is equal in fakery. You can usually tell in how they deal with others/relationships. I doubt you ever had difficulties finding friends though.. :) I enjoyed your video, thanks!!
i had no lack of friends or best frends even tho i never realized it i always had someone w me and there for me always .... i moved countries a few months back started sch recently and got into a group knowing no one .. i mean im thankful they were there for me to show me around ... but i was not / am included i have no f idea abt wht to do and recently i felt someone in the group get a bit off around me and today i was removed from the group chat by the same person ... i didn't go to schl for 2 days and i have no idea whts up ... but here i am searching wht to do when u dont have frends something i never expected for me to do😢😢 ....... i have frends of decades back at home but i feel so frickin lonely here at schl ... im fine as soon as i get home ... i have no idea why im typing so much. this is the most im have typed and idk why .....
Idk I think it is strange point blank to have no friends. Humans are social creatures, it is literally a defining characteristic of our species. We are meant to connect to others and stay connected, Noone will ever convince me that you do not need friends
@@cosmiccrush22Your opinion is just a biased one, as human beings are social creatures who need relationships. Isolation and loneliness cause anxiety and depression; this is a fact. Humans need connections, whether they are familial, friendly, or romantic.
You might think it's strange to have no friends but not everyone has lived the innocent little life that you have. Not all of us were surrounded by people who treated us well and made it easy for us to form heakthy relationships. That's such a judgemental comment to write. People have valid reasons for not having friends. As a child, I moved to a new country and got bullied at school for my accent and who I was. In my old school, I never got bullied. Why are we always the lowest common denominator i.e. it's our job to make things work with others even when they're abusive?
@@blackbird45Humans are social creatures but we are capable of being without company when we need to be. Acting like codependency is our natural state is dangerous. It simply isn't.
"Making peace" with something is just another term for tolerating and trying to convince yourself you do not need or want, but deep down you know you do. It is nothing more than a coping mechanism, not what you really want. People who genuinely do not care or want any friends or social interaction are far too rare and would never even care nor ever make a video about it, they would just live their lives in peace.
I just discovered you and binged a bunch of your videos. You have good insight, but please consider the way you think and then speak about other people. Confidence is so important, but you constantly speak like you're better than others. "Noone is as ambitious as me" is a very strange thought, especially if you're in uni and your ambition is just med school - something all these "chaotic and messy" people still accomplished, along with thousands of others. In your dating video, you brought up this list of negatives that could make you un datable, and it was literally things like "too hard working". That's not a negative, it's a backhanded brag. Replace it with 'i am unwilling to make time for others and I don't value their goals" and suddenly the picture makes more sense.
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
I do need a friend at least one or two friends but not a whole bunch of friends. I am an introvert. I am so quiet that I can't even keep a job because I stay to myself people don't like people who don't talk to them this is why I can't never keep a job. I think I have schizoid personality disorder because I only have two best friends and that's a lady I knew since 1995 and her sister. I do want a man and need a man, but it seems like I am interested in guys that are extroverts and like to hangout with a church full of people and that's not me.
It’s the same for me. Honestly it’s the way society pressures us to think having friends is going to help feel like you belong in the world. That might be true for most but some people are their own best friend and enjoy their own company. Best options aren’t bad but it’s up to the best.
totally!
My mom always tells me I don't need a friend everytime I tell her I want friends lol. It gets boring and kinda lonely.
@@celinahuezo5518 being alone and lonely are two different things. You can also be lonely around friends too. That’s why it’s important to enjoy your own company before enjoy everyone else’s
@@celinahuezo5518 same
I just turned 30.
I think the reason I don't "have friends" is because I see friendship as something deeper than it actually is.
For most people I hang out with, they are happy to see me once a week and do the same activity, I on the other hand would like to see people to do different activities as well as the one we already do. I also want to be able to call them and talk instead of just texting on discord. I also would like to come over to my friends home and vice versa, but other people see that as too much.
I think my idea of friendship is something I put on a pedestal just like I did with other things I didn't have growing up. Unrealistic = unattainable
Honestly I feel exactly like you about friendship. For me friends are supposed to be actually close, talk for the sake of talking instead just for when you want something from that person and be confortable enough with them to be able to ask and relay on them when you are going through rough times, and also help them when they are in a difficult situation. Anything else feels just like close acquaintances. I think you're right. How are you going to achieve that level of intimacy if you are engaging with each other sporadically?? Feels like other people just don't want to commit seriously
I feel the same way, like my standards for close friendships are too high for most people who's standards for friends seem too low like just friendly acquaintence level low. I just want a close friend who understands me, is there for me at my best snd at my worst, is someone with whom I have conversations over deep topics with and with whom time just spend in silence with not nessecarily needing to talk or hang out all the time feels comfortable and appreciative.
dude i had that type of friendship, i have social phobia is possible
My concept of friends is the same. I desire that level of closeness. I also had a discussion with someone I considered a close friend who told me she is fine with us not speaking for months and for her that changes nothing. It was shocking and even hurt, that’s when I realise we had two different views of what a friend is.
Yup
Depression has taken away my enjoyment of many hobbies. Besides the fact that it is worth seeking help, there is something I would like to share.
If your current hobbies no longer bring you joy, it's worth trying something completely new. You just have to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that not everything will work out right away, and that's okay. Open yourself to new experiences without great expectations and you may be positively surprised.
That's how I started cooking and now I'm amused by the memories of my failed attempts.
If someome happens to come along and you just click, go ahead and build the friendship. If not, don't force yourself to make friends :)
Yeah I have tried so hard to make friends, but failed eventually. Soon I realized that it's time self discovery and enjoy your own company
I have one friend at work and she’s the highlight of my day. Really appreciate her. I think we can all value alone time, but also life is about human connection.
this came at the perfect time! happily an introvert
I haven't had a single friend for over five years, and admittedly, it is my fault. I'm almost done with college, and I do wonder how I'll make friends after I graduate. I have heard that making friends becomes increasingly difficult after college.
Now that I think about it, I never actually learned how to make friends. It feels like everyone got a "how to make friends" guide, but mines got lost in the mail.
I moved around a lot when I was younger, and was always the "new kid". I was very shy and introverted, so I never talked to anyone in my classes. I would go months without any friends until someone noticed that I didn't have friends, and "adopted" me. To me, it was baffling when another new student became popular in class. I didn't even know how people became friends with someone, let alone get a bunch of friends.
And because I was always the "new kid", I was also always the "backup" friend. I could never stick around long enough to become anyone's best friend, because I would be gone the next year. My group of friends knew each other since childhood, and had lots of inside jokes. To be honest, I always felt left out because of that, even though my friends didn't intend that.
I also have fearful avoidant attachment, which makes making close friends very difficult. I feel like I'll lose my autonomy and independence if I become too close to someone. I'd rather have no friends than to be emotionally indebted to someone.
Omg your story I could have wrote the exact same thing. That’s crazy…I’m almost done with Uni too and I have no idea how I’ll make friends after.
Hey, after many years of not having many friends I'm now 36 and have recently made a few great friends at work 😊 We're about 8-10 people, different ages between 30-62 years old, we work from home and meet for lunch about once a month. We are not too demanding with each other, as we all have families, and some of us really like to spend time on our own. To me this kind of socializing is perfect, I do not need more (I mean besides my family - husband, mother, brother and dog).
@@sibusisiwenyathi6331 same. I feel like I spat this out.
Avoidant attachment is a word they've made up to pathologise women's independence
I feel the last point. I have friends and it’s hell for me when they don’t give me the dose of attention and validation i need. It feels like I’m losing everything and can’t do anything about it. Before I didn’t have friends but i felt so painfully lonely. It felt like my existence is irrelevant. At least i was independent but yeah I really don’t know what’s better for me. Having friends or having none
It's good to have friends. It's hard making good ones. What you feel today you also might not feel tomorrow, especially as you grow and begin to crqve different perspectives.Its hard, but it is valuable
A few years ago, any time I'd go out and meet new people, I felt like I didn't belong. I'd get panic attacks and thought everyone else was having a good time beside me. I isolated myself more and more and wondered if I was gonna be lonely for the rest of my life. At some point I realized, what held me up were all these insecurities and hatred I had for myself. It actually took me a lot of self work, alone, to learn to love myself for who I was again. And I am still on that journey. Luckily I had people around me, who made me feel accepted. Who knew my flaws and still wanted to stay with me. Back when I was feeling so lonely, I shut out exactly those people that had been around me for so long. Now I am still often insecure and there are days were I feel like a complete outcast. But there are also these days, were everything feels so easy and I can just let loose when I'm around others. It really comes all from within. When you are at ease with yourself and are not afraid to open up to others, it's so easy to meet people and form real, deep bonds with others. But as long as you fight against yourself and do things just to fit in or do what society expects from you, it will always feel difficult and be hard. Remember that making new friends, going out, all that stuff, it should be fun, not something you force yourself to.
30 seconds in and I already can’t relate. I love going out and I love doing stuff. I just feel stuck because I’m neurodivergent and it feels like I have to choose between being myself or being around others
Doesn’t being a neurodivergent make going out not so much fun and if you do have fun what’s your problem, Confusing comment.
@@commonsense3921not all neurodivergency is the same, I for example like going out and love and need to have people around me, however people don't always enjoy being around me due to things like me not getting their humor at times, taking things too seriously, being socially awkward etc, so yeah, it is a problem
@@naomiwhy2191 Thanks for the info.
@@commonsense3921 I'm a neurodivergent EXTROVERT. Neurodivergence is not synonymous with introversion and I'm convinced the reason why many neurodivergent people believe they're introverted is because of the pressure to be something you're not. I can definitely have sensory issues when being around others but I love dancing and singing and going on nights out. It just sucks because it lowkey requires masking
@@miraofalltrades Okay, I get it now.
I’m 22 and I just moved to a new city a few months ago. I think the hardest part about making new friends is finding friends that have similar interests, I wish there were more events I could attend to meet more similar people. I also found that a lot of people that I interact with already have a pre established friend group and would rather have me be a side friend rather than invite me into their group.
When I was younger I was overly trusting and was constantly used by ‘friends,’ now that I’m older I have major trust issues and don’t even know how to get close to someone, I’m 27 btw and was voted ‘most outgoing’ in my 8th grade year book. It’s wild to me that I ended up alone or surrounded by fake friends on my adult birthdays. Part of it has to do with trauma, but it’s intriguing to see videos like this and read comments from others who feel the same way
It’s very hard to go from having enough friends to having no friends. That’s what I am currently going through, and the simple reason for that is feeling like I’ve outgrown those friendships. I want deep and meaningful connections that are healthy and reciprocated, not filled with pessimistic projection or insecurities. I don’t want friends who treat me one way and then speak about me another way behind my back. Im too old for that!
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
I keep seeing people talk about this book. Who is the author? Where can you buy it? Like I need some more info
It''s spam, there's comments like this on so many videos 😭
@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you! I’m like what are they all talking about?! 💀🤨😂
My last “friendship” was in college. This person became my roommate in my sophomore year… by the end of the year, we couldn’t stand each other. On the last day when I was moving out, she accused me of moving her clothes from out the shared bathroom (which was not true because her clothes weren’t even in there)… that made me realize that she wasn’t really a friend of mine at all. I blocked her and finished school a loner. Since then, I view the idea of “friendship” differently and trust is a big thing around it.
i love how this video isnt like other videos that just say 'go out to events and meet people!!!', thank you for unpacking why its not actually that simple and there are actually many layers to making meaningful connections with people and making friends..
I'm 25 and I don't connect to people as an adult, so I ultimately gave up and i just avoid people, unless i am at work. I prefer being on my own.
Sounds like a trauma response
What if its not? U know people are not defective for wanting to be alone and being alone.
Clearly too many extroverts on the planet making and setting the rules and if u don't comply ur weird or have issues girl BYE
@@cosmiccrush22 lmao you’re clearly on the internet way too much and it shows with that response.
@@lorddj9910 "you're too much on the internet" -person who calls being introvert a "trauma response"
@@killer_queen4062 I said it “sounded like a trauma response” never said it was. I see reading isn’t fundamental clearly lol😂
Gawd. You are my new personal best friend. We don't know each other in real life, but you are my friend. You actually make my life so much easier and you've helped turn the world through my eyes into a better place. Thank you❤
My entire childhood my imagination was always about having a really close group a friends, driving at night, singing, just existing outside of time while growing old with my friends.
But then I grew up, and I lost people and I realized that having that dream was far more out of my reach than I could have possibly ever imagined. My entire life I tried fitting into the social stability I never understood.
So in high school I just stopped trying, I stopped chasing people and that rush of anxiety that I thought was adenine with talking to people.
I have my one best friend who has moved away but we are still so close.
And I have everything I want, I realized that I didn't actually want a friend group I just wanted to feel like I belonged. And my one best friend makes me feel that enough. So I'm happy with what I have! My parents don't understand how I'm happy being so alone but it's comforting actually.
I didnt realize I just dont enjoy going out and I had this image of my life I should be living. it wasnt real. it was built by movies and tv shows and societal pressure along with my own imagination. I just started being happier without stressing myself out for no reason. I am now trying to enjoy all my interests, and I definitely was not making friends for a healthy place! you nailed it with this video. thanks for speaking so much sense
Very sound advice! I also have discovered these things throughout this year after trying to build myself again. At my current work I was almost desperate to make friends, because I was so insecure and a people pleaser. Now I have the mindset "I don't want to work here next year, so whatever these people think of me doesn't matter" and that is why I became more myself and surprise surprise I got along with much more people and I didn't get exhausted all the time. I am not completely there yet, because I hope one day I find my bestie, but I am on the right track I think
feel so seen w this video, im 20 this year feeling left out n missing out so much things like i havent met anyone or achieve anything. well still working on this point of view. thanks for this great work
I normally do not comment on videos however I just wanted to say that I truly felt touched by the messages of this video and feel genuinely seen. Thank you! I’m also a doctor and could not agree more with you about the value gap and social isolation associated with the journey of becoming a doctor. I particularly resonated with the importance of finding a life outside of our career, there is so much more to us and so much more to life ❤
A fellow medic! I’m so glad you found this helpful, medicine really does suck the life of us at times, it can be hard to find a life outside of it but so important
This is definitely for the introverts
Thanks girlie💕✨️
i’ve had thesame group of friends since middle school. We’re very spread out so we don’t see each other at all. Tbh i’m just a guest in that group, so i decided to not care that much anymore. I don’t even see how to include an IRL friend in my lifestyle so i’m learning how to have fun alone, what i like to do, what i’m scared to do. It’s very fulfilling
Better to be alone than have fake friends. Good friends are worth their weight in gold though.
I don't have friends and when I was younger it didn't bother me, but over the years I feel empty and don't know what to do
Go get friends
@@iironhide6209if it was that easy we wouldn't have that problem dude
@@iironhide6209OMG thank you 🤩 🥰🥰which shop do u recommend me that can get me quality and good friends??
@@iironhide6209It's not that easy...
Try to have hobbies , and make friends, but make sure to not be too available (to not come across as desperate)
I only have 2 friends, and they live in different states, but im fine with that. I like being alone and rarely feel lonely because i found peace doing things alone and in myself.
Having a good, healthy group of friends is one of the best things in life. But it's cultivated, it's maintained and it helps you grow and improve and it's great for mental health. Not having friends is not something to normalize in my opinion.
I agree. I have no friends and it's not ideal. It's lonely. Your mental health suffers.
I am actually going through very lonely period in my life, I have always wanted a sisterhood but haven’t had luck with that, I totally agree with friends being so good for your mental health, what do You recommend for the people like me that are going through a lonely time but want to make friends?
You're absolutely tone deaf. What do you mean by 'normalise'? Your opinion doesn't have to be the dominant one all the time. Did you listen to anything she said and the points she made? She didn't say people should actively avoid friendships. She said that we shouldn't force it to happen for the sake of saying you have friends. You can't be that thick surely?
This made me feel so much better and less lonely. I can relate so much to this. Thank you for making this video. ❤️😊❤️
book Unveiling Your Hidden Pontential can change your life. Habit must be not outcome based but rather identity based. Stay blessed.
I love my alone time. I'm able to think clearly instead of being rushed to do things. You can learn a lot about yourself while being alone
I am an extreme introvert but I don’t mean I’m shy I just like being on my own and I don’t think that’s a bad thing
Why is it hard for society to understand “some” people are happy to be alone? I love it, Yes there are rare occasions you wouldn’t mind company but it is also true for someone who is constantly around people they still want some alone time. We are human we often want some change sometime that doesn’t mean we want to abandon what we are most comfortable with.
Hey! New subscriber here 😊
I turned 40 this year and I can still relate with what you’re saying here. I’m totally fine being my own friend. I’ve lost so many superficial friendships and I have a few ones now but I’m ok just being my own friend. It helps that I can share everything with my husband so I don’t really feel that need to find friends anymore.
Great video. I enjoyed every bit of it.
Heyy, this was so reassuring to read. I can defo see myself being one of those people with a small circle in the future 🥹
Truth? I'm 48 & I think a lot about this. I think so much of our concept of friends was born in 60 to 70 years of propaganda when historically people had big families and were "friends" with one or several members of their family... be it a brother... a sister... or that one cousin that just gets you.
And it makes sense why that would be the case. There's shared customs, traditions, and interests in addition to shared personality traits..a shared sense of humor...and a shared background even if a bit distant in families.
Now, we're kinda thrust into a world of strangers in the name of "socializing" while families dwindle in size & grow more distant. For instance, I'm an only child born at the tale end of what would become known as the "latch-key" generation. So, I spent a lot of time alone and learned to love it.
By the time I reached my 20's, the world was in flux. The feminist push for women to be career oriented, rather than family oriented was just beginning to build momentum having first struck my mom's generation.
And, as a woman, I found women do have a natural pull toward building a family. So, while I was trying to go the career route most of my friends had already had kids (plural) right outta high-school.
They wanted to be at home with their kids & they didn't really have the money for frivolous fun... most becoming single moms.
And it's weird, because they hated being moms but didn't. And I think that was a lot because of propaganda telling them "women deserve better" and because feminism really did absolve men from taking responsibility for taking care of their families as more and more families self-destructed right as they got their start.
And this problem has only gotten worse.
I think the truth is... we've been sold a lot of lies even if well-intentioned.
Human's are not designed to be social party animals living it up with "friends" in a world more multicultural (meaning we have less in common).
We're designed to create and build families... build tribes... build nations. But, because we're doing the opposite... more and more of us are just alone & happy to be alone rather than facing the work of making friends with people we have nothing in common with at a time when everyone's looking to get their feelings hurt about something and narcissism grows to epidemic proportions as per very politicized pushes.
I think this is why so few of us have or want friends. It's been a con all along.
I just joined the community wait list . I cann see this having potential. It would be nice to have just one online, hobby class /sew along/ book club/ meal share / Personal story time or ask the audience 😆 time sessions during the week, and then one random Saturday, lunch meet and greet in London (if people live close by). The reason why i mentioned during the week is because very often we forget to enjoy our lives after work. Some people go to bars, restaurants or gyms, evening classes, but sometimes we just go straight home to Netflix. we need to start enjoying our own lives even if we are alone.
There are million of people in this world and each person has their own characteristics preferences etc. some of us just like living with no friends either because we chose to or we experienced a lot of trauma when having friends. It‘s when you make peace with the expectation of the outside world on how we should be in other peoples eyes when we truly find ourselves and having no friends is just another thing thing like not liking pizza hawaii as an example. It doesn‘t define us and I hope it would be more accepted in society and you wouldn‘t be seen as weird or a sad person when it is not like this at all.
I understand that some people might appreciate solitude or find comfort in the idea of not having friends. However, promoting this as an ideal choice can be dangerous. Humans are fundamentally social beings, and friendships are essential for our emotional and mental well-being.
Relationships, even when complex, help us grow, find support, and share experiences. Prolonged isolation, on the other hand, can have negative effects on mental health, like anxiety or depression. Promoting the idea that we can do without friends may resonate with those who already struggle to socialize, reinforcing a tendency toward isolation rather than encouraging them to build meaningful connections.
We don’t need a large circle of friends, but even a few genuine relationships can make a huge difference in our lives.
@blackbird45 Genuinely curious about why isolation caused anxiety and depression? I have acquaintances here and there and one really close family member and even then, sometimes idk how to navigate the close one. I find that it makes me so anxious to be around people. Trying to form deeper connections feels like pulling teeth, I never know what I'm doing wrong. I find so much relief being able to do most things on my own
@ellakaari9479 I am not a psychologist but I see one for many problems including fear of attachment and abandonment. I also learned a lot about the psyche because I always wanted to know why I acted in certain ways so I will try to answer you in two comments because it is quite long.
Isolation can really contribute to anxiety, depression, and other emotional difficulties for several reasons.
Well, when we’re isolated, we lack emotional support. Being around others often allows us to share our worries, feel understood, and less alone, which helps to relieve stress and anxiety. Without that, we can end up going over our thoughts without any outside perspective.
Being alone can amplify negative thoughts. Sometimes, when we’re by ourselves, we start to criticize ourselves or replay our mistakes over and over, and these thoughts can become overwhelming, especially when there’s no one around to remind us of our strengths.
Isolation also encourages rumination, meaning we can get stuck going over negative ideas or experiences in a loop. It creates a kind of vicious cycle that makes us feel more and more depressed or anxious.
When we’re isolated, it also becomes harder to manage our emotions. Talking to someone often helps us get some perspective on our problems, but being alone can make it tough to regulate what we’re feeling and to calm our sadness or stress.
There’s also the fact that, by isolating ourselves, we lose a bit of the habit of being with others. So social situations can become more stressful, and this might even discourage us from going out or seeing people because we feel less comfortable.
Isolation even changes our brain chemistry. When we’re alone for too long, our brain produces less of the chemicals related to well-being, like dopamine and serotonin, which makes us more vulnerable to depression. It's takes away a lot of important things that keep us emotionally balanced. Over time, it can really feed into issues like anxiety or depression.
@ellakaari9479 It seems like you might be experiencing some difficulty with attachment or close relationships, which could be contributing to the anxiety you feel around others. Feeling uncomfortable around people, struggling to build deep connections, and finding relief in being on your own could suggest a certain fear of the vulnerability that relationships involve.
Some people experience what's known as 'avoidant attachment': they feel more comfortable with independence and might unconsciously fear becoming too vulnerable or giving too much of themselves in a relationship. It could also be linked to social anxiety, especially if you often feel lost, wondering if you're doing something 'wrong' without really knowing what.
@blackbird45 This is a lot to process. Maybe I'm just rambling about nothing, I've had really bad anxiety since I was like 12, I'm 23 now, and STILL I never felt better with other people around me, even when I did have friends, I actually felt more isolated around them. I think over time, I've become quite okay with not being social. I've learnt to go through my emotions alone, without feeling guilty for bringing down the mood . Other people make me feel awful for being emotional, I'm always sensitive and annoying, according to them (To be fair, I think I may have a tendency towards self pity so I completely get it if they don't wanna be around me). The one close relationship I have makes me feel worse sometimes for talking about my worries and fears. I learnt to work on my hobbies/learning skills to distract me from ruminating.
I gain perspective from watching videos/reading about people who've had the same/similar experiences in life because it seems more reliable to me. I think the acquaintances and close family member I have are really enough socialising for me. I don't think I have the ability to have more than that. I only socialize when it's a situation I can't avoid, like uni. I genuinely don't mind not having closer relationships and I kinda don't like how society makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for thinking like this. I think you're right about the attachment issues, but I just can't be arsed to try to form close relationships in this day and age. I think it's just one of those things I've accepted about myself.
I agree with alll of this.
The value gap topic hits straight home
Girl, thank u so much for these videos 🫶
When you’re in an atheist country, it’s difficult to meet friends. You have to spend some time finding yourself with spirituality and surrounding yourself with the same kind of spiritual people. It’s really that simple.
Nice video. But no one should make peace with having no friends, we all need good company and support. I think we need peace with ourselves and the past, but have faith that to keep on seeking good friendships.
Thank you!!! These type of vids scream complacency to me
@ to be honest these videos come from extreme hurt. A lot of people are trying to make friendships and connections but are often met with rejection, or faced with people who aren’t willing to look for friends. That can make someone want to give up. It can distort how someone sees friendship. But what we have to remember is there are good people out there who are looking to give good companionship, it’s just that we have to keep a healthy heart and not give up on ourselves. I do wish society wasn’t so bleak these days. It affects people a lot more than they think.
You are programmed to believe you need someone OUTSIDE of yourself even though true happiness can only come from yourself.
@ there’s literally nothing that proves long term isolation is good for people. Why do you think Americans are so mentally ill now? We’re social creatures by nature.
@@lorddj9910 If you constantly being told that you NEED friends it will be your reality and experience, The truth is you is always by yourself because everything is you, Not getting into that, It’s all mental, There are people who don’t feel sane until they are by themselves…….You can be so high and excited about spending time with yourself if you only knew happiness CAN ONLY COME FROM YOURSELF, I’m talking about true happiness, True happiness is a decision made in practiced through self love, You will have all the power because your happiness doesn’t depend on anything OUTSIDE of yourself, You can’t control things outside of yourself so your friends will bring you happiness today and pain tomorrow. Also if someone come into your life (which wouldn’t matter) will be the right people because you are in love with yourself.
This is so relatable and so me
Cus I'm in uni,now I know my place and all about friendship
Love you 💜💜
I'm 45 and it's so peaceful to not have any.. u hardly even speak to those trifling colleagues. They are haters. This morning one of them made small talk after she ran into me at parking bay. I literally refused to walk along side her told her I'm gonna rush.
👏👏👏
Good if u hv set boundaries..but its also not healthy to live alone without socializing. Need a few positive minded supportive people around
Where did she say don't socialise?
Im currently shocked by the amount of people feeling the same way
Having no friends is literally bad for your health. So no, making peace with having no friends isn’t good. But this video says meet more people by being ok with being alone.
I'm not at peace at all. I do enjoy being by myself, but I crave friendship and feeling "wanted" and having freaking people to talk to 😅
I'm 40 and i feel like every woman i know has a big friendship group and I've never had that so I genuinely think there is something wrong with me that I cannot see.
Honestly most people do not have the capability to return what you pour into friendships. I have like 3 close friends and thats all i need. Why am i going to suck in someones problems so much and try to solve them? when i have my own problems? So many people in this world I cannot relate to. And im tired of trying. People are SO into themselves these days.
It's hard for me to make any friends at all. I just think it's for the best that I don't need any friends since I can't tell if they are good friends or bad friends. Sometimes, I can't even have nice conversation with people that I don't know. I don't want to let people know what are my hobbies or things that I don't know about since they may make fun of me. Going to events doesn't help either. Reminds me of the dance and I couldn't dance and all I did was sit down and listen to the music from the DJ. It's just hopeless for me. I'm not even approachable to people.
i just realized all the friends ive made have been through mutual friends or class, thats it. and when i do make friends in class i really struggle moving the friendship beyond just “class friends”
I'm trying to make friends but maybe it's my age and people my age already have friends that they want. I'm slowly coming to the realization that I may never have any friends and I have to make peace with that somehow
I’m very glad I stumbled upon your account :)
Subscribed! Really enjoy your content ❤ also very impressive that you’re working on building an app. I think it would also be wonderful if you could post the steps you took and your journey to get your app up and running along with the building process🙏
I had the same idea about an app ,I will sign in to yours
I'm rooting and waiting for that discord you're talking about! I want to meet new people too :)
I needed this, thank you
I can surely relate to this❤
Last year I ended almost more than half of my friendships because I felt like they were no longer serving my best purpose. I have zero friends now people call me selfish little do anyone knows why I needed to get rid of them all
I can't do this anymore i thought that i would get used to it but I'm just sadder and sadder everyday and i talk to myself because I'm my only friend i try to do it less because i look like a schizophrenic idiot.
I push myself I meet new people, then I think someone could be a good friend then they give me a reason not to trust them
I'm 25 gurl. Great video
First: too depressed to made friends
Then: love being alone :)
i needed this vid
Girl, you rock
Thank you for this. Such helpful thoughts.
Amazing vid, really enjoyed! Ty!
I have one close friend and love hanging out with them but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to rely on them too much from what people have said and how society says it’s good to have more than one friend, and I would like to have more close friends that aren’t just acquaintances but at the same time I feel like I’m at a point where I’m ok with the acquaintances I have (even if I hang with them or don’t and just communicate over text) and the one close friend. My mind just feels all over place like is it bad to have the one close friend that I hang with and feel satisfied without wanting more friends or should I be at a place where I should seek other friendships too?
I was also desperate for more friends by going on Bumble BFF and trying to communicate with people but just became a bit too overwhelming communicating and trying to keep it up, not knowing if these people are meant to be my long-term friends or not. I feel like now I'm just going with the flow and trying not to put all my focus on making new meaningful connections and just enjoying myself, getting out there more, loving the hobbies I like to do and being my true self and if I'm meant to have more connections, then I know they will come in the right time
Dear Christina gurl, i am 36 😅 Thank you for your videos, i have just sunscribed. Greetings from a Russian on Canary islands, Spain
New sub! Totally relate!
I'm almost 20 years old and I started college like 2 months ago. I though I will make friends there. There was a group of 5 of pretty cool people. For few weeks I was getting along with 3 of these guys, but whenether another 2 people(that clearly didn't tolerate me and were very dominant in the group) joined I was always left out by everybody. So at the beggining of this week the "leader" simply told me to f*off. I don't care what tone or words she used, message was clear. She was the only one talking, and she was talking for a group. Everybody else was just starring at their hands in silence. When she left I simply started crying and nobody fucking cared to even explain anything. Even these 3 people that I though I could get along with. Day after 1 one of the girls said "hi" to me. I didn't answer because I was deep in my thoughs. And I think it's actually better. Why would I want to be friends with people who are friends with the assholes? I don't understand this generation. Either nobody wants to be friends or they're fake and mean to you
Man up. Why you're crying like a baby. You a man you should stand up for yourself.
App creation cost on low end $50,000-90k minimum. I have friend who created one and ruined them financially. Be careful. I think it's important to teach people to be realistic in their goals. Start small.
We all need friends. We are social creatures. Some validation can't hurt, the total lack of it does hurt, even when you know yourself enough to value you. You will end up damaged/hurt regardless. Med school to find intelligent people, is the wrong reason to study medicine. They're not intelligent either, more like strange, weirdos, the bad kind usually. Quiet and reserved most of them in an eerie way. Hard working maybe, not intelligent. You are right at least looking for this in friends. If your friend can't count, they don't count you as a friend either, they don't have the emotional int/capacity for this, so why give them yours? They won't appreciate it anyway. Not suggesting you become a snob, hunting for the Sherlock fakery kind, just be wary of the opposite too, which is equal in fakery. You can usually tell in how they deal with others/relationships. I doubt you ever had difficulties finding friends though.. :) I enjoyed your video, thanks!!
It’s as if your pressured to do what others do.
I really do relate and resonate with this video
This is it bois, if women, who tend to be better at socializing, can't find any friends, we're all well and truly fucked
I'm 28 years old and I am soo poor with school and work. I do not have friends.
i had no lack of friends or best frends even tho i never realized it i always had someone w me and there for me always .... i moved countries a few months back started sch recently and got into a group knowing no one .. i mean im thankful they were there for me to show me around ... but i was not / am included i have no f idea abt wht to do and recently i felt someone in the group get a bit off around me and today i was removed from the group chat by the same person ... i didn't go to schl for 2 days and i have no idea whts up ... but here i am searching wht to do when u dont have frends something i never expected for me to do😢😢 ....... i have frends of decades back at home but i feel so frickin lonely here at schl ... im fine as soon as i get home ... i have no idea why im typing so much. this is the most im have typed and idk why .....
Im introvert because i really don’t like people their wishy washy ,drama filled ,selfish and toxic I keep to myself I only have one friend
Idk I think it is strange point blank to have no friends. Humans are social creatures, it is literally a defining characteristic of our species. We are meant to connect to others and stay connected, Noone will ever convince me that you do not need friends
No one can convise me you do need them but here we are, your opinion and mine. 🤷♀️
@@cosmiccrush22Your opinion is just a biased one, as human beings are social creatures who need relationships. Isolation and loneliness cause anxiety and depression; this is a fact. Humans need connections, whether they are familial, friendly, or romantic.
You might think it's strange to have no friends but not everyone has lived the innocent little life that you have. Not all of us were surrounded by people who treated us well and made it easy for us to form heakthy relationships. That's such a judgemental comment to write. People have valid reasons for not having friends. As a child, I moved to a new country and got bullied at school for my accent and who I was. In my old school, I never got bullied. Why are we always the lowest common denominator i.e. it's our job to make things work with others even when they're abusive?
@@blackbird45Is there any reason why you're hounding multiple people with the same message over and over again?
@@blackbird45Humans are social creatures but we are capable of being without company when we need to be. Acting like codependency is our natural state is dangerous. It simply isn't.
wow amazing video
It’s kinda crazy how nobody is talking about the book Women's Magic Truths. The insights inside are life-altering, and yet people remain blind to it.
I let society dictate things for me. I'd rather be alone. People don't understand that. Can she be my friend though?
Less stress
"Making peace" with something is just another term for tolerating and trying to convince yourself you do not need or want, but deep down you know you do. It is nothing more than a coping mechanism, not what you really want. People who genuinely do not care or want any friends or social interaction are far too rare and would never even care nor ever make a video about it, they would just live their lives in peace.
If you don't like being alone you're in bad company
i have some friends, but i feel like a lot of them are fake
I feel very lonely .
I just discovered you and binged a bunch of your videos. You have good insight, but please consider the way you think and then speak about other people. Confidence is so important, but you constantly speak like you're better than others. "Noone is as ambitious as me" is a very strange thought, especially if you're in uni and your ambition is just med school - something all these "chaotic and messy" people still accomplished, along with thousands of others. In your dating video, you brought up this list of negatives that could make you un datable, and it was literally things like "too hard working". That's not a negative, it's a backhanded brag. Replace it with 'i am unwilling to make time for others and I don't value their goals" and suddenly the picture makes more sense.
Do you have a podcast?
I hate so much have no friends
22 zero friends just two at college but its not a close relationship
Thx!
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
I’m 24
I'm 19 ,and i don't have any friends because i love being lonly
Are you the geeky medics girl? 😅 UA-cam recommended this video and I was like, "why does she look so familiar?" Just subscribed.
I do need a friend at least one or two friends but not a whole bunch of friends. I am an introvert. I am so quiet that I can't even keep a job because I stay to myself people don't like people who don't talk to them this is why I can't never keep a job. I think I have schizoid personality disorder because I only have two best friends and that's a lady I knew since 1995 and her sister. I do want a man and need a man, but it seems like I am interested in guys that are extroverts and like to hangout with a church full of people and that's not me.
Get the forbidden book Women's Magic Truths and uncover the secrets they’ve been hiding from us. This could be the key you’ve been searching for.