The Secrets Your A**hole Keeps
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 тра 2024
- Don't be fooled by the imposters, there is only ONE Reyna! Most commonly known as the "Gross Tiffany".
LYRICS:
Dude!
Oh don't lie to me, my guy
I'm gonna ask you one last time
Whose lipstick is on your asshole tonight?
Cause dude, I fuckin' know it ain't mine
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Was it that dumb cunt up the street?
Gobbling the hole that used to be mine?
Does she put your head down to your feet?
No...because she's not me
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Was she kissin' and fistin'?
Like it was her religion?
Dustin' and bustin'?
Like it was her mission?
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
That's lipstick, dipshit
That dumb cunt can't quit
Who else would it be?
Oh fuck...it's me...
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Boy, bend over and spread those cheeks
I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps
Its me...
#classicvinyl #music #nostalgia #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #oldies #obscurestvinyl #80s #80smusic #80skids #90ssong #90srewind #90sromanticsongs #90skids #popular #popmusic #popculture
If I killed myself all those years ago I wouldn't have lived to hear this. Totally worth it.
There’s always hope for a brighter tomorrow
Oorah, death can have me when it fucking EARNS ME
Brooo HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
take ever little win you can get.
Same 😂😂😂😊
You could play this in a CVS or Walgreens, nobody would notice.
It'd be a fun experiment
If you reverse the bad words, they won't notice.
First laugh o' the day. My undying gratitude.🤣
very few would notice it. and they'd all be on board. we all know the language of our people
😂😂😂 I'd notice. I actually listen to the white noise in the stores.
After hearing all of the OV AI generated songs, I’m convinced that Germany’s pop scene has been run by AI for at least 40 years.
There is, absolutely, NOTHING new under the sun.
But was never able to fix Milli Vanilli out of sync problems.
Wait... Can AI really do these?!?! Where is my money going?
Actually we have an attitude like a fax-machine and the passion of a used up Toaster while our humour is the equivalent of broken Fisherprice-toy .
We germans are like skynet with a down-syndrome .
This isn’t AI. I remember holding hands with lil Cindy Lou at the Roller-Bowler-Rama in the summer of ‘85 swaying to the delicious sounds of Reyna. Oh how I miss how her breath tasted like garlic as we kissed our first kisses.
My date: What kind of music are you into?
Me: It’s complicated.
I really want to record one of those voice prompts with this song
They just don't understand.
This made me lol 😅
"yeah, I'm pretty heavy into retro-adolescent-ai-smut songs. You know like 'Tuggin on my Nips' or" 'Secrets Your Asshole Keeps', stuff like that"
HAHAHAHAH!!!
😂😂😂😂
*THE TSA ANTHEM* ☠️
NAHHH
100 percent!
🤣👍👍👍
Ok this one got me good
Lemme see your ayasshooo!
I'm gonna tell my kids this was Taylor Swift
all Reyna songs would fit into 1989 😂
Might as well be lmao
😂😂😂😂😂
It’s not?!
Why?
Lucy in the sky with pinkeye
The William Shatner version is fantastic. It speaks to every generation.
fuck.
i can hear him doing that now.
This made me weep
⚰
Bwahahahahahahaha
@@stfi7566 The WIlliam Shartner version is pretty amazing!!!!!!
Imagine being on hold for about 20 minutes, then hearing this...
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀⚰️🪦
Or hearing this song AS the hold music.
My proctologist Dr. Kornhule knows how much I hate checkups, so he'll throw some Reyna on the radio during the exam to help put me at ease.
Holey cow! What a guy!
My proctologist, Lou Sassle, also enjoys a good Reyna every now and then.........
"I am Cornholio! I need tp for my Bunghole!"
I thought it was just me. Before my last prostate exam I was so tense. I asked the doctor to put on some Reyna to help calm me down and loosen me up so to speak. Once I heard those glittering synths, drum machine and reverb heavy vocals I stopped clenching and the doctor was able to poke and prod to his heart's content. 4 hours later when he was done he untied me and let me out of his dark and smelly basement full of leather gimp suits and gag balls. I never got my results back from the exam. Now I'm wondering if he really was a doctor to begin with.
These comments are making me wheeze
Why do I keep coming back to listen to this song? I cannot stop. It's genuinely one of the most catchy pop songs I've heard in a while.
I saw Reyna perform at a mall in 1986 and waited in line to meet her and when we went to take a picture together she kissed my cheek and it smelled funny.
How dare you accuse Reyna of performing ass to mouth! Where's your evidence?!
*Compilation of Reyna performing ass to mouth*
Dammit!
It was her gingivitis, not you.
She mustave been a real ass about it.
😂😂😂
And not haha funny but asshole funny
I urge any and all pranksters, goofsters, and silly guys, to play this song over the speakers of a grocery store.
This is the best idea I’ve heard in a long time
I bet it would be like a minute in at least before people who hadn't heard it before realized what was happening.
Or in an elevator? With a hidden camera to catch people's reactions...
I played the obscure vinyl playlist at work the other day during clean up and definitely caught my coworkers off guard lmao
In a disco at retro nights🤣
I married my cousin in 1984 and this song played at our wedding. Sadly we got divorced a week later after I discovered she’d been sleeping with my father but it’s still a day I treasure.
Ah yes... Another Alabama memory.....
My brother in Christ, seek professional help
No its my ky memory
@albinocyclopse9952 there are lawyers to help with messy divorces, but this was so long ago.
LMFAO WHAT ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
To think, this was almost the theme to Top Gun.
😂😂😂😂😂
It was featured heavily in Bottom Gun.
@@GrimmSpectre18 *TOP BUM
No!
It was the love theme in the Japanese cut of the movie, beating out "Take My Breath Away". It is a hidden bonus track on the Top Gun 40th Anniversary soundtrack reissue.
Reyna is starting to become my favorite singer. I feel like she’s talking directly to me.
She was the Joni Mitchell of her generation.
She likes to connect with her fans and look us right in our eye. ❤
@monicasgeorgia the brown one 😮
@@Bwned yep! 😂
Her lack of a nose explains the origin story of this song.
Brilliant 😂
😮😮😮she DOESN’T have a nose !!!!
Quite possibly the best comment in the entire history of the internet!
She does have a nose but you have to look a bit closer
@@josephbilotta5994 calm down
I met Reyna in ‘87 during her Bend Over World Tour. She told me this song was inspired by her ex boyfriend’s trip to Thailand
Bent him all the way over to Thailand, huh?
@@jamesgrey13to the point he could watch her spread his cheeks. 😅
😂😂😂😂😂
Fun fact: Reyna went on to have a young granddaughter who, after coming across one of her grandmother's tapes a few years ago, was inspired to invent her own original song, "I Wonder What's Inside Your Butthole", gaining widespread internet fame.
Bend Over World Tour? Thailand? Totally checks out.
These songs have singlehandedly cured my depression and silenced the voices in my head🤣🤣🤣
They hate the glued balls song. 🍻 🤫
"I Met Your Mother At A Donkey Show," - Bobo Bojangles, another banger.
Are you going to make another album now that you're back from the dead, Chuck?
Absolutely 💯 I am so glad I found this shit 🙌
@@cephalophore2631Let him enjoy his holiday at Crystal Mountain, first. We don’t want to crush his spirit..
The first edition prints of these actually came with an imprint of a butthole kiss with lipstick on the cover exclusively available at Sam Goody. They were quickly removed from the shelves however after hundreds of cases of pink eye were reported.
Should have come with a warning label: “Parental Warning: Explicit Butthole Print. Do Not Removed Plastic Sleeve”
I was a sell-out and bought mine at Tower Records in Manhattan.
@@ennuieffectthey didn’t even have warning labels for hot drinks and just barely got lead paint rolling, you think they would have figured out asshole transmitted disease?
There's rumours that the very first one used brown lipstick but the claim was never verified
@JonesFred070 Those were a misprint and they recalled them because of the whole pinkeye issue.
My grandma had this on cassette tape and would play it CONSTANTLY while driving us to Sunday school. I thought it was the dumbest shit ever. She told me when I get older I would have a deeper appreciation for this kind of thing, boy was she right. rip grandma and thnx for the memories
Thanks for the memories is wild with this limited context fam 😳
Madonna tried and tried and tried, but she never did succeed in cracking Reyna's formula. Thank goodness.
Had my first kiss to this song in 1986 ❤
What was being kissed???
Y-yeah....
@@tacticalmattfoley it's a secret 🫶
First "kiss"... 🫵😳 🤨📸
@@micronerd 😅😘
The hits just keep coming
So do I.
As do we all@@timhaldane7588
and coming. and coming.
all over the place
As much as this song made me laugh, the comment section made me laugh even more. God bless you guys!
Hail Satan.
When someone asks me what kind of music I like.
These songs are perfect for a grand theft auto game.
Im still under the impression that these are all gonna be in GTA 6
@@djramennoodles It would be a genius way to gauge responses for later live recordings.
Starts dropping every new song on a single GTA station now that we've manifested it, rockstar makes enough to pay them for every song bet
Seriously reminds me of Love Fist. I wish R* kept making parody bands.
This would go hard in Vice City
Absolute proof AI has surpassed human intelligence already
I am rather ignorant on A.I. I suppose that someone writes the lyrics and A.I. sets them to music ? Or maybe one provides a few key words and all the rest is A.I. generated ?
They don't know how to produce hits like this anymore. Thank you for preserving our heritage Obscurest Vinyl.
1986. My gf and I saw Reyna in concert senior year. I'll never forget that look in my gf's eyes. We snuck behind a dumpster and sniffed each other's AHs for an hour to these sweet tunes. My first time ❤
I admire your bravery and honesty, my man
I bet you can still catch a whiff of it, on the warm evening breeze. Memories that beautiful can't die.
I miss the 80's.
Autoharps?
insanely 🔥 hot hot I like it.
This was on the soundtrack to Mannequin in the 80's
Kim cattrall was stunning in the music video.
@@misternice5687There was another version featuring Estelle Getty, as The Golden Girls was a hit show at the time. It was one of the first videos to get a regular rotation on MTV’s new spinoff channel for older viewers, Vh1.
I'll never forget hearing this song at my junior prom in '87. The entire night Becky Peterson would not talk to me. She and I had been going steady almost the entire year until the night before the prom when I regretfully shared my a**hole with another woman. The whole school ended up finding out which made Becky furious. She ghosted me all day and wouldn't even look in my direction at the dance. Then this song came on and things changed. Becky confidently walked over to me and put my hands on her hips as we started to slow dance. She didn't say anything to me -- not a single word. She just stared into my eyes as the lyrics told our personal story to the world. The lipstick from the other girl hadn't completed faded away and Becky somehow knew it. There was nothing I could do except whisper, "I'm sorry" a few times. She didn't respond to my apologies, but rather just continued her unwavering stare into my eyes. I know she wanted to know the secrets of the night prior by seeing the lipstick for herself. But some secrets just had to stay kept. The worst part is that Becky was the only girl who could put my head down to my feet. Nobody else could even come close. I was such a fool and can never hear this song without thinking about Becky. I'll probably never find another Becky Peterson but at least when I hear this song I can always remember what we had. You never know what you have until it's gone, I guess. Great song, though.
you never want to hear these words coming from border patrol
Wow you actually got me to laugh out loud for real
Why do you have to make your music so damn good? I keep accidently singing this stuff at work.
The number of times a coworker has walked in on me shouting "I'm just rubbing and tugging my fuckin nips!" is too damned high already.
I remember seeing Reyna on her first world tour when she came to Australia for the first time, we nearly didn't get into the concert because dad forgot the tickets but luckily dad had razor sharp teeth from all the methamphetamine he was using so he managed to chew straight through some chain wire fencing around the back and snuck us around the back, it was such a good concert, it distracted us from having to work in the copper mines the next day
I remember my older sister had the Belinda Carlisle cover of this on record. It had a pamphlet inside the sleeve that when you unfolded it, it featured a photograph of her chocolate starfish with a lipstick kiss on it.
I remember that!
I got goosebumps listening to this. The way she accused me of having my ass eaten by another girl resonated deep within my soul. The raw vulnerability in those lyrics unearthed emotions I have never felt before.
It is a beautiful and tender reflection on the human experience, touching on themes of love, betrayal, and the eventual discovery that it was in fact her that had ate his ass herself. I was at the edge of my seat the whole time, wondering why he would cheat on his girl with that c**t up the street. You could only imagine the relief I felt when she realized it was in her her own lipstick now smeared all over his crack.
Beautiful song, a timeless classic!
I haven't cried this much since Luke was denied going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters by Uncle Owen.
Taylor Swift needs to take notes. This is how you write pop songs.
I was heartbroken when I heard about Reyna's unfortunate nose injury, but luckily she's just as beautiful as ever all these years later.
She's consistent all right. That's what we pay for
They played this at my high school prom in '86. I always had a crush on Reyna.
Butthole Surfers have constantly talked about how they would not have formed if not for Reyna
Reyna and Gibby were actually pretty tight back in the day. Also they got along personally
@@user-ks9uc1ts2x I like what you did there... 😂
It only barely cracked the US Top-20, but "Secrets" went to No. 1 in Sweden, France, Japan and Belgium, and Reyna routinely sold out concerts in Europe and Asia well into the 2000s.
I remember how hard I cried the first time I heard Sinead O'Connor's acoustic cover of this.
This was the song she was to perform during her infamous SNL performance, but NBC forced her to change it at the last minute.
Hahahahaha
You haven't wept until you hear the list Johnny Cash version that was supposed to be released instead of his version of "Hurt".
I just want to let you know how hard this made me laugh. God bless.
@@stfi7566 Apparently her ripping up a picture of the Pope on live TV was deemed less offensive than serenading someone's rectum.
This song went number 2 on the radio stations in San Francisco. But of course we know their are no a**hole secrets in San Fran...
It’s no secret that there are plenty of assholes in San Fran…
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lotta Open Secrets in San Fran
They love the smell of their own farts...the windows would be closed.
This is truly magical. What a time to be alive.
Hold on to your papers, fellow scholars!
I remember reading an article in 1984 where Reyna was asked what her favourite sport was.
Her answer was basketball because she loves the challenge of taking on the rim.
she loved driving for a tough two
Yeah, remember that article in '89 when her fame came winding down, she was quoted saying the music industry "bent me over and spread those cheeks"? Classic Reyna, Bro. Always telling it like it was boy, no capsicles 💯
Saw her at a mall in Kingston, Massachusetts in the summer of '87. She performed right after a Lil' Miss Beauty Pageant in front of Sears and it took a good 5 minutes before people understood what she was actually singing... they just assumed she was singing some Tiffany-esque lyrics about teen love and heartbreak... boy, that place cleared out fast. After the show, we went to the Bedding section, grabbed a blanket, and ducked into a changing room -- I gave her a Dutch Oven and she gave me Blumpkin... good times... good times.
I had to google Blumpkin. I'm sorry I did 😮
I am obsessed, I keep listening to this on repeat.
I show people obscurest vinyl songs..they asked "whats wrong with you "as im dying laughing 😂 ❤❤
I remember her! "The Gross Tiffany"! For some reason she only ever played at dirt malls.....
Adding to the wedding playlist
As A Board Certified Proctologist This is one of the songs most requested by Colonoscopy Patients
The Salad Tossers remix of this song is my personal favorite.
No cause this song absolutely SLAPS.. if it was released with “proper” lyrics it would definitely top the charts even now
it honestly has no business being as good as it is lol
What do you mean? This was a huge hit in '84. And the lyrics are very proper; Reyna was a genius lyricist.
Proper lyrics? What did I miss? I remember it taking the world back in the 80’s and nobody would dare to say to Reyna back then that her lyrics were not ‘proper’!
Diddy's theme song.
😏😆🤣👌🏻
This is the National Prison Anthem
They should do a follow up to this called Daddy Drop the Soap
This song was covered by Pia Zadora for use in the third “Naked Gun” movie during the prison scenes. However, the song was never used nor released as a single and all copies were burned in a massive dumpster fire at Paramount Studios.
😂😂😂😂😂omfg
She speaks from the heart here. Deep emotion. Catchy tune. Wowser. This is now in play rotation. A musical genius.
It was her lipstick the whole time. 🥰What a twist, just like Escape (The Pina Colada Song).
Listening to this in my proctologist’s waiting room before my appointment.
Its got to the point that as soon as I see these drop I click instinctively, and without hesitation. Whatever your process is you definitely hit the spot for these songs.
I'm Casey Kasem, and this goes out to a heartsick lover, with a burning pile!
Savage! 😅
Ahh yes, don't hear them called "piles" very often these days... thanks for that.
I'm Pussy Pussem...and this track just slayed me.
Thank you for your service 🫡 needed this one lol
THANKS, you kok womble! Now I'M the one sitting here laughing like a damn lunatic.
When I eat a Taco Bell Grilled Stuft, there are no secrets.
Or at least, nothing is being kept.
That’s right, it spills all the beans…
😂😂😂😂
I met Reyna in 1985. She was charming
She isn’t real
@@truckbros35 Correction: She's Unreal!
@@truckbros35youre not real
@@LILBABYBOBBYHILL yes I am
@@sammyb1651 still not real
This was my Grandmother's favorite song. She sang it to me all the time when we at the park. Great memories!
I unironically listen to this every day. It's probably gonna be in my Spotify wrapped at the end of the year and I'm not sure how to explain this people. Oh well, *plays again*
Sitting here at ihop overnight just jamming and none of my coworkers have clued into what they are listening to... Just got through playing a song called "Pulling Out My Pubes" and everyone thought it was Chubby Checker singing... Life is great 👍
I was in the Air Force and stationed in Turkey in '90. This song was always playing in the Turkish steam baths I visited. Oh, the memories.
If it wasn't for the lyrics, I'd think it was an actual80s song. Thanks for the giggles
I dated her in the 90s. She wasn't called the "RimJob Queen" for nothin', dude!
When I was a boy in the 80s, I roller skated with my sweetheart to this song. Good times...
How the hell do you even output all these bangers
I don't know either but I'm here for it. 😂😂😂
AI is a hell of a drug.
It’s one of the secrets my asshole keeps
I first saw Reyna perform this toe-tapper in '81 in Central Park, NYC. She opened for Cyndi Lauper. "True Colors" was very good, but it was "The Secrets Your Asshole Keeps" that stole the show.
Used to play this on the trombone back in middle school. Those were different times
Was it a rusty trombone?
I just came across this song. And the song is hilarious and awesome. I can't get this song out of my head, though. lol😂😂
Or is it that u cant get ur “head” outa this song? Just curious here. N btw is it ry and aniel, im super curious now
@@tammydiienno2751 it's ryan daniel
A lively and melodic offering, Reyna's third single from her breakout album, 'Butts, Butts, Butts', kept her signature smooth styling but with just a dash of added 'zing' compared to her first release, the highly popular ballad 'Never Known An Asshole (Like Yours)'. Whilst there's nothing particularly groundbreaking about 'Secrets', the catchy chorus and Reyna's velvet vocals (imploring a lover to let her delve into their darkest secrets), were a welcome break from the flood of synthesisers and electronica that was dominating the German charts at the time. As popular as it was, 'Secrets Your Asshole Keeps' was only the third most successful release from the album at the time, with both 'Coming From Behind', and 'Your Tongue In My Ring' spending more time in the charts. That said, 'Secrets' is the one that still gets played and probably the track that most people are familiar with today.
This new Reyna slaps. Her songs need to be on Apple Music and Spotify! It’s so catchy and nostalgic! I love singing along to it! 😅
I'm absolutely loving how the comment section is creating the back story and lore for Reyna!
An actual person created by the thoughts and comments of others. Goddamn. Nothing could go wrong right? Right?
I can appreciate her backdoor approach to her immaculate song writing skills...😎
I had this on a 45!!! Reyna was the queen in my high school years
i hate that this is so good.
Reyna hears that a lot
I was tasked in March of '87 to handle PR for Reyna, which, in retrospect, was a low point in both my career and hers as well. Reyna wasn't selling albums or singles at that time, and her management considered some very extreme measures to get her in front of people, specifically in the United States. She was signed to a defunct label out of the UK, called Hermophone Holdings.
Why is Hermophone defunct, you ask? Well, that's because Reyna (at the request of her management and a plate of coke) loaded up three saddlebags of personal lubricant and large Sharpie markers (???) and went to a shopping mall in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, spread full eagle, and began to do things with both items that I simply cannot type here. Both saddlebags were emptied, and the Sharpies vanished, along with seven children and twelve elderly couples. The Fontana Massacre, as it was known back then.
This is the story of why I quit PR, and why you don't hear about Reyna anymore.
My Uncle Randy says his cellmate loves this song.
This was our prom theme song in 1987. Unforgettable… when everyone began singing along, even the faculty, you just knew that was going to be a magical night!
My aunt was a superfan of Reyna, got me into it. This song takes me back to sleepovers at her house. RIP aunt Cheryl.
Cheeky little number
Dammit, this song keeps running through my head all the time. It's seriously beautiful.
Another thing to add to the list to hide from your woman.
Why hide it? She ain’t the one if y’all can’t vibe to this together
@@SlapStyleAnims uhhh sounds like you don’t live in reality. 🤨
I sing these to mine. She hates it (she secretly loves it).
@@ibtabaHit her with the “Pants” song. If that doesn’t do the trick, bounce.
Don’t keep it from the woman 😂
If she doesn’t get it, then at least you still have these classics.
Don’t keep a negative lady in your life. Find someone who will vibe with you and the songs😂
I smell a hit!
I'm running out of lighters for all these anthems
Turning on a lighter for this particular song may be a bad idea.
I love that this is actually a good song
☢️This is some fallout vault tunes right here...☢️
Reyna is a musical innovator of the highest degree. She is responsible for the creation of Butthole Pop.
Whaaat? I had no idea she got into the soda game too? They need to update her Wikipedia!
Heard nothing but sweet things about Reyna. Even in person she was very down to earth and humble about it. She never shied away from the suggestive themes and she knew what she liked!
I got a copy of her somewhat hard to find demo she was passing out when she was still sort of a nobody. You may have heard of the 'A2M at 2AM' tape she gave out when she was playing small clubs and she hadn't made it yet. Many of the songs that were re-recorded for later albums like 'Hole Lot of Lovin' and 'The Fingers Fit'.
She has my favorite version of 'Brown-Eyed Girl'. Simply perfection! Love you Reyna!!!
OMG 😂😂😂😂😂
Reyna was born in Paris and I was lucky to see her live in Marsalis in 89. Hearing this in her native tongue made me pucker in ways man was never meant to.
Appreciate the endless joy I'm getting from these amazing songs.
Never thought I'd hear the theme song to a full cavity search 🤣
I'm laughing my ass off now but give it a couple weeks and I'm going to be listening and singing along like it's normal.
I demand a physical copy of all the greatest hits! Hell release a vinyl! I'll buy a fuggin record player, don't doubt me.
Those sweet whispers sends chills down my spleen. 😂
I don't think I've ever clapped so happy hearing a song since I was like three and hurt Born in the USA
Wow this really takes me back to my high school prom! Thanks for preserving such a wonderful time in music.