Psych2Go I think parents need to realize that its very stressful being a teenager and that we don't need snide remarks and jokes at our expense on top of it all
Psych2Go I have a really patchy relationship with my parents. I used to be the mature always understanding child. Then in my teenage years I hit rock bottom loosing all chill and not tolerating anymore. I understood that all those years of bottling up my feelings resulted in my outburst now as a teenager. It's hard for me to communicate with my parents because I can't describe my feeling. I'm bad at comprehending my feelings and they can't understand. I am totally lm apathetic. And a lot has been because my parents failed to respect my boundaries. I became more of a rebel. I don't have any friends and I barely talk to anyone in school cuz I can't relate to anyone. Some times I wish to God to give me the strength to end my life. But I don't have the guts to do it. And part of why I think like that is because of my parents. Whom I can't relate with. It's like me against them 24/7. I'm starting to talk less to them now. I don't eat at the same time as them. Just to avoid small talk.
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
My parents' insults and saying everything bad about me is what I tend to remember all the time from them. So when they suddenly hug me and compliment me.. It feels awkward and my mind was like... "Huh, I am beautiful..? You just told me that I was ugly!"
I wish my parents could just bother to acknowledge how hard School is and stop criticizing me over my grades. They never let me figure it out and instead they always intrude. It makes me so angry to be criticized constantly.
From this mama: please know you are more than your grades. School is a place to teach your structure, and all of the subjects that they use to teach that to you are agonizing unless you find enjoyment in one or all of them. And that's okay. Because life is so much more expansive and less complex, that your gifts will benefit you-- but the most important thing is that you know how to survive and sustain yourself while using that gift. School is temporary, it will pass
@@LBowen-wg5rn I really do appreciate that, thank you. I’ve actually graduated high school now. I made that comment when I was a freshman in the darkest period of my life. I don’t miss high school one bit, and you are right in every word you say.
My parents and I have a pretty good relationship; I love them and they love me. But sometimes, they’re too overprotective and stubborn. They don’t listen to me and what I want, instead thinking that they know what is best for me. I also don’t ever tell them anything, it’s like I physically can’t. I have trust issues with them but I’m not sure why. I’m not good at communicating with them and most of the time I don’t want to because I know they probably won’t listen to me. I don’t know what I should do to fix this.
Me and my mom’s relationship is super healthy. Even if we both have bad days we talk to each other about it. And even though I’m 16 and my mom is 53 we still make time for snuggles if we both are upset or just need someone. We talk all the time and it’s awesome. I’m so close to my mom than my other sisters. It’s even better cause for me I’ve never wanted or seen the need to be popular or feel peer pressure. I wear a lot of vintage clothing and unique clothing like my mom. We are honestly the same person if you think about it. Expect I’m pansexual but mostly gay. She loves me for who I am. I’m so lucky to have her.
You are very lucky and I'm very glad you have this kind of healthy relationship. It's really nice to remember that healthy relationships can exist so thank you
As I've been growing as a teen I see myself distancing myself from my parents. I feel like I can't talk to them about my problems and that they don't understand me. I love gaming and talking with friends online but my parents think it's b/s. Playing games is an amazing past time for me and makes me feel happy, but they always say "go outside" or "get off that laptop." I understand that taking time away from technology is good and I've been making sure that I take the dog for walks during the day, walking to friend's houses and the weekends and such, but I feel as though they only see the bad side of the internet rather than the side I enjoy.
It's because your parents grew up in a time with little technology and kids were way more physical and social. Kids were tougher then, which is why most kids today, when they graduate from high school, are considered unfit for military service because they're too weak.
1) Hug 2) Off Technology At The Time Of Interaction 3) Connect Before Large Decision Making 4) Spend Quality Time With Them 5) Encourage Emotions Instead Of Shutting Them Out 6) Listen To Understand, Not With The Intent To React 7) Respect Boundaries ADD YOUR OWN POINTS IN REPLIES....
I have never hugged or been hugged, or shown affection by my parents. My mom is a narcissist, and doesn’t care about me at all. I also have a language barrier with my parents, because I wasn’t taught how to speak their language and grew up with my aunt who spoke English. My grandma taught me a little bit, but my language will never be enough for me to have a proper conversations with my parents. I hate not being able to understand my family, and my parents blame me for not growing up to automatically know the language. I am convinced my parents hate me, but they love my siblings because they buy food, and clothes for them. They always leave to go anywhere without me, and my mom constantly threatens to leave me because I’m so stupid and dumb, and can’t do anything right. I feel worthless in my house because I cannot speak, I cannot understand, and I am not close to anyone in my own house. And this is just one problem I have with my family.
autumn Im so sorry about that :( I know its hard but stay strong and don’t listen on them.. Your not dumb, ok? I might know how u feel, both my parents claim the other one is a narcissist and they are really cold and unloving parents.
But you actually have to earn respect, its not supposed to "just be there"... yet ofc it should go both ways. You respect her, she respects you. At least that's how it is supposed to be.
My dad is my best friend. Sounds like I am a loser, but we are so alike that we just like talking every day about music, news and even tv. I wouldn’t change these talks we have, I think they are essential to my day. Edit: I am sorry not everyone has this with their parents, and I consider myself lucky. I know all of you will find someone who loves and support you. You deserve it!
@@quirozmadi6181 Man one thing i realized is no matter how much your parents hurt you they would do it for a lesson and also they don't really mean it and when you hopefully get older you will understand
@@bellzification pushing a person to trauma and telling they don't mean it . if the kid commits suicided they would learn the lesson .right? (pressure from parents in childhood causes lifelong problems - from my experience )
As someone is actually already has a heathly relationship with my parents, I'm glad to see stuff like this. There often is a mix of teens/parents complaining about the other party when in all reality simple things can help improve respect which in turn improves relationship. Love these videos, keep up the hard work.
I feel like my relationship with my parents have froze already - I do not talk about any of the things that make me happy because later on my parents would and will use it against me, so when I do something close to my heart I will not let them see it, I want to keep those things positive on me. I wish my parents could have been like this on my teenage years, my parents also insulted my physical appeareance and insulted my shyness and insecurity, I have learned to get over them with supportive friends and boyfriend though, but I think only time and a little distance for now helps to cool things off, let them see that I'm an adult and not a child. There is one event actually that I remember forever from my mother. My mother got very mad at me at why am I shy and why don't I talk to them, so on our way home she explained to me very madly how that when we get home, we will practise speaking together over dinner and practise job interviews and whatsoever, as a shy girl who did not want to talk to their parents, they dragged my self confidence to lowest possible with this.
I recognize me in the first part. Somehow my parents feel like they need to say to me something 3 times, and it's always the same things ? Once my father tell me, then my mother, then both... And they even contradict themselves. "Tell us when you go to see your friend" But I told you, I send you "I'm going to Hfgje to see Friend" "Telling us mean you need to ask for permission, and you should tell both of us, not only your father !' "You should tell us, even only one of us" But I did "Yes but you were already leaving" "You need to tell us""And tell us mean asking for permission""And you ask me, or here""No, you ask both of us" It's incredibly boring and ridiculous, and I did everything they asked before, and suddenly they change because they doesn't like it that way anymore so they are mad at me because they changed it without telling me ?
Delanya I feel that pain...I used to be so happy and talkitive then...my teenage years began...so they try to give me advice but half the time I don't know what to believe. My self confidence is going down hill...my dad is now saying put your shoulders back and have pride and confidence. But this is doing a complete opposite effect on me. And also things like makeup and flattening my hair...I refuse to do it because I have reasons.
@Rose 'n' Pink I hear ya on that. my parents, mostly my mom would always wonder where I'm going/doing. I would just go out with friends, then suddenly get a "WHERE ARE YOU?!" txt from my mother followed by an argument once home. So, she told me to let her know where I'm going if I go out. But then I called out to her that I'm tired of this, I'm an adult (19-20 yrs old back then). She would then reply; "you don't have to tell me where your going, ur old enough to do whatever you want" WHAT?! >:( It went on for a while that if I DON'T tell her where I'm going, she would get mad at me. But if I DO tell her where I'm going, she would say; "u don't have to tell me" Those were very annoying years. =_=
Once my phone was on silent mode and I wasn't looking at it for 5 minutes, and I got a text asking me where I was, then 2 minutes later 15 missed calls and 20 texts, the last one was "I'm calling the police" IN TWO MINUTES. And when I went back home they told me that I ignored them on purpose, because all teen are on their phone 24h/24h . That was one of the most ridiculous argument I ever heard.
I really don't know what to do. I feel like a total burden to my family. I get insulted and shamed nearly everyday and then everyone acts like nothing happened at all. Everyone is unhappy together,yet there are still good times.
I'm sorry you are going through such horrible experience. Some people don't understand the damage they can cause with their actions. Trust me, you have so much opportunities ahead of you that the time will come when you will have such a peaceful future and will be surrounded by people that will see your full potential and will keep admiring the person you are
My parents are overly controlling. I have to lie every time I wanna to do something. They see me as a good daughter, even tho I do things behind their back , it is too late to ask their permission to do anything, I just have to lie and lie . And this how I do things in my end . Even one is happy.
When I was a teen I used to also go behind my mother's back and lie to be able to do things I wasn't supposed to do. But when I became 18 I told her the truth of what I had been doing, and she was like "I know. Of course I know. I did the exact same thing when I was your age, and a bit more than that too". And we ended up laughing about it, and I felt really silly for going behind her back when I could've just been completely honest from the start. All parents have been teens. They know what it's like. Today I'm 28 and have a child of my own. I still live with my mother, and I've recently bought a house, and since she's getting near retirement I figured she can still live with me then. We became really close friends, and I tell her everything now (even when she doesn't seem to listen, I yap away just to ventilate) and it's very good for our parent - child relationship and also for my mental health lol. The point is, it's never too late to ask their permission or tell them the truth. Tell them how you feel and why things turned out the way it has, and that you want to try solving it together with them. It's hard growing up, and it's hard raising a child. A lot of things change in a short amount of time and both parties need to be aware of that change and talk about it. It's a journey for all of you, and you're traveling side by side. So you need to help each other out. The parents should see it as a sign of growth. We all should take the time to sit down and talk about deeper topics with our parents and children more often.
Every relationship can be salvaged through honest communication, love and forgiveness, understanding and compromise. Parents always love their children and it’s natural to want to protect their children. Ego and stubbornness in teens who want to follow their peers and be rude and disrespectful to their parents will always lead a troublesome life - especially when that parents heart is pure as gold.
@@neelapatel4957 have you considered it could also be cause by the parent? An example could be victim blaming or quick to dismiss them as you think you know what they want to say?
I feel really lucky to have the great parents I do, me and my dad sing together, watch shows together, and play together, he is always supportive and encourages me to do good. My mom is also extremely supportive, understanding, caring and loving, we spend lots of time together and I can always talk to her about anything, thank god for letting me have these great parents!
My parents told me they loved me when i was 3, ive never heard those words from them again. They have made me gain anxiety and blame me for it, all my friends say that they will open to me but they havent. Ive hugged them, made sure they were ok and done chores so they wont be in pain. They've just broke me
I remember when I found out my mother wasn't just a mom. She was her own human being who felt all kinds of different things and reacted differently to certain situations. The day I realized that I was able to forgive and let go of much hurt. I also learned some parents never had the parents we wish they could have been.
For real I told my dad I was being bullied and have been for a long while he just said "oh well I've ever seen you come home with a broken nose." Even though I had a black eye?
My relationship with my parents is in a all-time low. Whenever I think of them or I’m around them I just get into a spiral of depression. It’s really difficult to love someone who hurts you.
when i was little, i used to hate hugging my parents before sleep or after school or whatever times that are right cause my teachers used to say 'you should have your own personal space' so i did and that's what leaded me to 'hate hugging my parents or anyone' now that i know what the teachers actually mean (im 12 btw) it is ok to hug someone cause it's more like heaven than ever
This video and reading the comments helps me to understand things a lot better. Hate to say that my relation to my parents is already broken for years and I dont believe it will ever be fixed. As in most cases it started when I became a teenager (Ill be 20 this year) My parents really never understand me (I know everybody says that but its true) They never listen to me nor take/took me seriosuly - I know they are right when they say "You never talk to us anyway". But did they ever think about why I really really hate talking to them ? When I always tell them "leave me alone" (because I am sad/depressed, angry or anxious) they never listen ! But are insulted and act like they are the victim and I am the oh-so-bad ungrateful child. Because they "are always there for me amd do everything for me" and I "just never realise that". When I told my parents that I wanted to leave school, they and teachers were against it (I changed school in the end but after years at the worst timing ever. It changed my live amd I regret it - but thats another story) My parents also told (and still do ot at times) what job etc I shall do - especially when I had no idea of my future. I really wonder where they get their crazy ideas from. I can kinda sorta understand that... lately, they act like this: See me once having fun doing sth new or talking about 1 single topic I learned in school (even though I suck at that subject/never cared aboiut it before), tell me to become this or that. WTF ? I can at least understand where that idea comes from. But some are just...WTF ? I would NEVER do that ! Especially in my youth my parents really "commanded" me to do this or that "because it fits to me better than" what I wanted - I did prove my parents wrong in the end though and they even support me ? O.o Back then they always told me off of my dream and.... everything because I - we were all new and unexperienced and "this is not who I am". We also used to argue...oh Idk.... every day ?! Luckily not everyday now but it still happens. Because of school or even the silliest things you can imagin. And of course "I" am " always the one who starts the argue." Dou you think I *want* to argue ?! Sometimes they come in my room to tell me sth. then they somehow change topic and stsrt the argue. Wow. Did you just come itno my room to yell at me again ? And of course they wont leave -.- Everyday either they yelled at me for everything or i always had to withness them yelling at eah other. But hey "arguing is normal in every family." -_- I am even too scared to talk to them. Earlier I hated school but even more coming home because I knew what awaited md. I NEVER talked to my parents nor asked them for help - so I am the bad guy for being independent (and a loner) ? I just hate arguing. Every day. No wonder I have PTSD and dont fight back anymore like I used to in my rebelllious "phase". When I told them about my depression they also yelled at me (for not telling earlier/anything at all) I always had the feeling I get only punished for being sad/mad. Can you imagine how I felt back then ? Or when I feel tired/exhaused and dont get things (especially physical) done they call me "lazy". - they yelled at me last week because of it again. Sometimes I am also just so busy I work till late evening (i mean homework etc) so I just dont have time to also do the extra things they asked me to do. why is it sth. Different when I want to take a brrak and say no ? I used to be the biggest nay sayer in the world. Now i am an obedien t wimp who is too afraid to say no or anything at all. But no no my parents "havent raised me too strict". What really insulted/hurt me the last 2 years was that when I didnt eat anything (cause I got bullied at a new school and was alone) my parents only yelled at me and were insulted. Again. No surprise. Only last year when I did an intershipment they sudde ly worried what i will eat when I am gone all day. WTF ?! * facepalm * I could go on and name more things... I have always been afraid to make mistakes - I am learning now to not take everything by heart. Really hard when you get yelled at for every little shit and have a broken self esteem. I just said that i have become too afraid to say no since I changed school. I give in nowadays, dont even fight back anymore nor bother to stand up amd defent myself anymore. Becaude I both cant take it any.ore and have no more energy left and became afraid of it. I speak less than usual and always do now what my parents/others tell me before getting into a other conflict. I also started to hide and bottle up my emotions. - I am a very sensitive emotional person so ot is not good. Just beause my parents always tell me "shut up ! Shht dont speak! You re too emotional " Of corse I am emotional !! I am no machine !!! Or "shut up I cant hesr it anymore ! Hlw many times are you gonna tell us the same story ?! Stop complaining !" Well I did now. It was the worst I could to myself. Back then my parens were mad that I never talked to them. Now they are mad *because* I want - amd need to talk ?! Wtf am I suposed to lesrm from them ?! ...already back the n they were mad that I never understood what they want from me. I really dunno what to do. I have nobody to talk. My parents dont listen. And I really dont want to hide my emotions and be an obedient zomby/ puppet - I became what I alwqys used to rebell against. Nowadays i just push my emotions (amger, sadness) aside and force myself to not remember the past anymore. What only increases my physical pain, makes me very tense, worried, mistrusting amd gives me a 24/7 pain in my chest nowadays (i had none of these physical pains - only psychicsl. Until I changed school amd started to hide my emotions) Idek anymore who I am amd what i want (yet again). Again I just feel loke its their life not mine (but I dont fight back anymore) I also started to question myself, and everything that happened. Maybe they arent so bad ?....but i still hate them amd see their mistakes (even if some are in the psst, they are still there) And about my dad who is ALWAYS grumpy and yells for everything (including 2 days ago) I wont get started. He really never cared about the family... neither do I about him. But...nowadays it makes me ev en kinda mad seeing father (figures) having a better relation to their children than us (I saw my favourite movie that day and idk why it made me so mad all of sudden to see the father characters - even though i always used to like them) Argh i just dunno anymore. I told my parents but they just dont care about my depression, burnout, anxiety etc (and all the other shit I got over the time) and expect me to act like everything is fine - no it isnt ! And I cant do a 100% perfrct job like other people and always be top motivieren and energetic ! Or wsnting to sociaslise all the time with strangers ( believe me I do for 3 years - I HATE it ! But hey ! I just "need to open up".) And be so charismatic and extrovert like them ! THATS *NOT* me ! I know they have their own problems too ( I had to grow up fast and know the other side of the story now) - making me only doubt and question even more. I know my feels ARE true ! Why am i acting like they arent and denying them as well ?! Back then my biggest desire was just to move out and live my own life. But guess they were right in the end. I "cant take care of myslef anymore". True. I lost / gave up my freedom and independance and really feel/am so broken I cant do it alone anymore. Sorry for the long text. I just need to let it out some where. Thx to everybidy who reads this
I don't have the whole experience but I do understand a bit of it. I hope your life gets better and if it doesn't don't hesitate to tell someone. There will be someone that will listen. (Even if I have to scroll through the comments to find you xD) I know what it feels like slightly, and again, I hope things get better.
Both of you had bad communication style. You don’t tell your parents “leave me alone “. There’s an assertive and respectful way to express your needs, like” mom dad, I am not feeling well right now. I’d like to stay alone for a while to sort my feelings. Hope you don’t mind.”
Ever since I came out to my dad, and started the GED program, I've been going to him to vent and for advice. For the first time in my life. I still can't count on him financially, but that's better then what life used to be like.
FuturisticMe Thank you, but I'm not ever going to count on it. He promised my oldest sister he'd pay $1000 for her college as a gift, and it's been nearly six months... He says he doesn't have the money... He's planning a trip to Tokyo with his girlfriend in April for a WEEK. He has the money.
The difficulty I have with my parents- and family in general is that after telling them a reason for something, or what is wrong- I feel like nothing can be done about it, or that nothing will be. I think part of it is that I'm not what they expected of their first child growing up into a teenager- I don't want to argue with them, I don't want to rant and moan about how they "never let me do anything" or how "so and so does it, why can't I?" a lot of the time I just want to have mutual understanding between me and another person. And I may be wrong- but I do feel like while I make a constant effort to (even though I do seem patronizing when I do it) accept their opinions and views and listen to them- even when I feel strongly about what they are saying, they don't do the same. That or I just have a lack of understanding of it- I find it hard to read my parents. And I can tell that they find it equally as difficult to read me, but *I* don't know what to do- and rather then offer solutions, I tend just to recoil into silence and let things carry on because I'm still a child and the parents knows better, that and I'm afraid of holding onto and building up an idea of how whatever issue can be "fixed", telling them and it being shot down- without people realizing quite how strongly I felt about it.
TW: suicide My dad is manipulative and has really bad anger issues. He is so incredibly controlling. About 75% of my memories of us is him screaming at me in my room, ripping things apart, breaking things, my mom sitting next to us and me crying, screaming and hitting myself. I ended up attempting suicide at the young age of 12 because i couldnt take it any more . My mom has a huge victim complex. She thinks there is nothing wrong with her and that her ideas are better than everyone elses (except for my dad since he absolutely ruins her self confidence) I am 15 years old and have an older sister who is 19. My sister was always the golden child. She did everything my parents told her ever since she was a toddler. Even in her teenage years, she stayed quiet for most of the time and just told herself to be patient. She knew that if she did that for long enough, she would gain their trust, they would see her efforts and try changing themselves. She did not want to do anything to hurt or dissapoint them. She is now in university. And then there is me, i am a very vocal person. I am neurodivergent , queer and i am very emotional (not as in me always being sad but my emotions changing quickly and me feeling them in extremes) I developed many mental health issues like ed's ,horrible anxiety and depression but unlike my sister, i cannot stay quiet. If something happens i am able to go against my parents. It effected my mental health even worse but afer tons of arguements, it ended up changing my parents slightly (which was more than i ever hoped for) . I opened up to them about stuff and we had very brutal arguments but i couldnt hold anything in. My sister would always tell me to " just listen to them, they know best and they love us. You will gain their trust soon and itll be all worth it in the end." My sister came back from university to visit home a few days ago but my parents were out of town. We are extremely close so she ended up opening up to me about some issues she has been facing and she was on the verge of completely breaking down. My parents were still pushing her to a snapping point and she noticed it in a very harsh way that nothing changed after all that effort. They didnt trust her, they didnt see her efforts and they still were being abusive. She told me how grateful she was that my parents were finally changing (slowly but much better than before) and that she wished she could do that before me, so i wouldnt have to go through it. She also has horrible mental health issues cuz of my parents and still struggles to tell them her thoughts truthfully, but she is done with it all. My parents arent bad people and they love us so dearly but they are absolutely horrible parents. The whole family knows that there is an issue in our relationship but our parents will not and cannot fix it so here i am, trying to get my parents to notice what good parents actually are . I am a pretty selfish person when it comes to my parents since i lost all respect towards them, so thats why i dont care too much about not hurting them while we are arguing since they abused me for so long. But after i saw my sister bawling her eyes out by the kitchen table, i was filled with rage. She doesnt deserve any of this. I stopped trying to please my parents ages ago but she never did. She hurt herself so much for them and she didnt deserve this kind of treatment. We are still struggling but i hope my parents will finally listen out to their children that they are so close to completely losing. (I just noticed how much i vented lol my bad. I guess i just really needed it. Just dont mind me)
Any tips on how to get through to my brother that thinks the best way to teach his teenage child is to have one-sided lectures and/or arguments? The last time I tried to talk to him he ended up yelling at me. Which at least distracted him from my niece, but certainly wasn't a productive conversation :/
You can try to subtly show him this video, sometimes an outside party can shed more clarity and lead to feeling less attacked than if someone close says it. All the best
thanks for making this video, i'm trying to improve my relationship with one of my parents because I'm growing apart from them. to the rest of you guys, you don't deserve the bad treatment your parents show towards you, and I'm here for you. focus on improving yourself, even if it doesn't please your parents, because when you become a thriving young adult, you won't need them anymore. ilysm you all ❤
I envy you people who have a good relationship with your parents... mine got arrested for drugs when I was 9, and even 7 years later they're total shitbags. I currently live with my grandparents, and our relationship is nowhere close to healthy. Whenever I'm feeling sad or angry or hurt, I always get brushed off as "dramatic", and whenever I'm tired or stressed out, they don't give a shit. They always want what they want done right when they ask, and they show a blatant disregard for my life and my feelings. I've cried in front of them plenty of times, and all they've done is stare... no hugs, no apologies, none of that. I'm apparently always in the wrong for ever wanting time for myself and not wanting to devote my entire life to doing the housework. I wish I understood what I did wrong... I used to love them. They used to bring me to their house on the weekend when I still lived with my parents. Where did I mess up...? I probably shouldn't be venting in the UA-cam comments section lmao I just wish I knew how I screwed up to make things this way
Tiny Tree that fucking sucks... I feel so sad for you. I want to just hug you and tell you it’s gonna be ok. I’m really sorry for that bull shit. Nobody should have to put up with that. Stay strong.
I know what it feels like when you cry infront of someone and thinking they would care, but they still don't give a shit..it hurts. It hurts so bad. I'm sorry you went through all of that.
I still have too alive parents who are divorced and have joint custody but I hate them both I may have parents but I’d rather have a good relationship with a grand parent or uncle but I’ve never had either I don’t even know any of my family because my parents never introduced us
I am so sorry you’re experiencing all of those things. It’s normal to think you’re responsible for things being harr but you aren’t. Others have made you grow up faster than you should have. You are still a child, you are supposed to focus on yourself, interests and friends and hopes. Therapy may help if you have any resources, but being kind to yourself will help you far beyond childhood. I too grew up being with my grandparents mostly and not being nurtured. It’s really painful. Just know you aren’t alone.
My father left when I was very young because my mother wouldn’t move to my home country with him. I haven’t seen him since and hoping to see him this summer. My mother and I had a difficult time a lot. My mother had 2 boyfriends. The first one was an alcoholic and we had to live with him for years. Once they split up she found a man. He was actually good to her and my sister. There’s nothing wrong with him. But my step brothers, the older one is 17 and a total douche. Both of them are the worst. I have to do the house chores and they don’t. I have strict rules and they don’t. I hate it. I just wish my mother would just split up so we can move back to Ireland. Since we had to move to Germany to stay with the new man.i hate my life here. It’s unfair and school is going bad. And I can’t even complain when my step brother hits me. He touched me before but never got under the clothes. I hate my life here, I just wanna go back . I don’t want to stay here If you read it to this far, thank you so much. You didn’t have to read my story but I thank you.
Wtf tell ur mom about this. You have to do something bro, fight back who to cares if u get in trouble teach them a lesson. It's been a while but I hope ur doing better now.
My relationship with my dad has none of this, actually he does exactly what your not supposed to do. Between him always having to be the good guy and making me out to be the bad guy to stuff like isolating me though I honestly rather have the isolate me then him trying to talk to me about stuff that makes me really uncomfortable. Also it really irritates me as I have no opinion or decisions on much of anything between my dad, step mom, and grandma it's all about them and what they wanna do and the times they actually let me decide what I wanna do they need constant praise for it. Then another thing is if he wants attention especially in the car he literally goes all up in your face and start poking me well he's driving, he did this for almost a hour nonstop once. Then there is the fact of they constantly steal stuff from me that I value and if I try confronting them the blame gets shifted onto me and they say I lost my stuff and it's my fault and they were perfectly innocent. Another thing is my dad and step mom always talks behind my back what is worse is I pretty much can always hear them, like the one time my dad was complaining to one of his friends because I was to "picky" picking out my swimsuit. Yes we had to go to three different stores but that is because I'm very uncomfortable with two piece swimsuits and anything that shows or that looks similar to a dress or skirt, but not like I even wanted to go shopping either. Hell, I hated it even more then he did. Then after that he started complaining to me and wanting praise for something I didn't wanna do and was bugged and paranoid enough to agree on going. To be honest this point in time the only time I can ever release and stop holding everything inside is either typing it all out like I'm doing here or to my one friend..... I mean I accept the fact that my dad and grandma are both psychopaths and my step mom is a narcissist but at the same point I get slightly irritated like why am I wasting my time here well I could be at my mom and step dad's house perfectly peaceful for the most part except for the fact of I'm constantly walking on eggshells since my mom constantly baby's me.... (Sorry for the long vent this was originally gonna be short and completely different from this but I failed, though typing out and venting here has gotten alittle stress off of me)
My dad doesn't respect that I'm an independent person and don't hold his beliefs. He sees me as the perfect little girl I was, but I'm not like that anymore. He rufuses to listen to my perspective, so I really don't talk to him besides showing him my art, because he always encourages me in that department. I just wish he would listen and try to help me when I come to him with my problems instead of arguing or waving it off.
i’m convinced my parents either hate me or choosing favorites... they don’t physically abuse me, and they feed me, they give me a place to sleep etc it’s more like..l they don’t treat me the same as my other siblings... :(
I wouldn't consider my childhood to be bad but it was mediocre at best. I never got any of the things mentioned, I wasn't abused but I never got any encouragement and affection. Till now I struggle with communicating my emotions and how I feel.
I'm going to show this video to my mom, I've realized for a long time now that she's doing something, but I couldn't place my finger on it to work on it and point it out to her, but this helped me understand it! Thanks :D
Coming here and seeing the comment makes me feel less alone because I also have a problem to connect with my Mom and here comes that actually a lot of people having the same problem.. I wish we could all live a happy life and having a good relationship with our parents.. Sending love for you all 🥰
I think that children and their parents should learn to interact more with technology, and embrace it instead of demonizing/avoiding it. It can be used for conversation/interaction just as much as it can be used to avoid them.
Yes, that's a good idea, as long as there are limits, though. Too much screen time can be unhealthy for your brain and everyone needs a time offline. But at the same time, learning to play an online game together as a family can be a good way of parents and kids to bond.
It made me cry s little because that's the type of relationship I've always wanted. Sometimes I think I might resent my own child because I'll work hard to provide a healthy and loving environment for them but that's everything I've always wanted.
I wonder what’s it like to be able to talk to my mom without arguing. I wish we could bond over things and I wish I could tell her stuff, like stuff about my day or my relationships. I wish that dearly.
Don't know if you'll read this or not still wanna tell you that you can still try...not telling you to reveal all the bottled up things to her, take it slow from telling her that the meal is delicious...applying oil in her feet at the end of the day before going to bed and start telling here things about your day (those things could be light and random avoid heavy topics) Don't reply to her when she is shouting , stay calm and when she is quite again tell here your points without...breaking into tears and mess. experience hope it might help you
When it comes to my oldest kids I feel that I am a terrible mother. Our relationship is okay But has been hard of course. They don't want to talk to much anymore. I feel so lost and im trying to get to know more about how they feel and what they truly need of me now. I keep a healthy distanc but i feel they truly take advantage of it sometime. I mostly get pushed away and it truly dose hurt. I sometimes feel like giving up is the only way, even though it wont do anything to build the relationship. I hope things change they are both adults now. I just hope they dont decided to just stop all together. It has changed so much now. I don't know what to do. I've asked about it and they ignore it. I dont know what to do.
Thank you for this! I started tearing up because I am going through this with my 3 children and I am trying so hard that I am depressed & trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. I always encourage my 3 children each & every day! I don't want my relationship with them to be like the one I have with my parents. I am the badseed of the family and never ever want my 3 children to feel that way. I'll admit I am a worry wart and can be a bit overly protective when it comes to their safety but I have reasons for that.
_ _ Tiger_ _ for me it is too late.. and i am not completely sure, as my memory of the childhood is not the best of course, but i think they are a big part of the cause that i am quite paranoid and self-conscious.. whether or not, the relationship was not very close anymore since the age of 10 or so.. if you can, try talk to your parents about that. it is really important i guess
_ _ Tiger_ _ yeah I wish My parents let me have boundaries, they made me tell them the password to my phone and I have to let them take my phone and look through all the messages I have sent. Im 13 and when I tell them to stop doing it and I need some sort of privacy they tell me im to young to have secrets and there the parent not me. 😞
Sophink_ Oh shit.. maybe it is time to have some fun with that :P Like including in message a fake position in your room where you tell you would have drugs or whatever and then you leave a message there to tell them that relationships are based on trust. Its not sure they would understand it, so I have no idea if I would do it, but at least it has potential :D
_ _ Tiger_ _ I agree I’m just afraid to show my mom. I think she will probably laugh like she almost always does when I have and issue involving parenting. She basically ghosts me I never talk to her. I ask her about her day every day and get a 1 sentence response. She never participates in family activities. I hate that I love her.
I have a very hard time with my parents... My mom tells me "stop being a brat", "you're so disrespectful" , " you don't do anything", "stop staying in ur room", "why won't you talk to me!?" , "i won't buy or get you anything anymore!" , "stop embarrassing me", "why can't you be like your little sister?" , "you don't deserve anything", "your 13 you should get up and do everything by urself". I don't know why she thinks I'll give her hugs... All she does is put me down and hurt me... When I say she does those things she doesn't care... She says I need to get help all the time, I can't give her my love like she wants... I don't even know how to tell her that I love her because I get to afraid like I'll trust her to not hurt my feelings or out me down and she does... I need help, any tips anyone?
I’m a new mom and this just popped up after a “call your mom and tell them you love them” video and all of these comments are breaking my heart. I’m only 30 but I’ll adopt you all as my babies and give you love and hugs 🥺
Mom: why dont you feel like you can trust me?? Ofc you can, tell me anything!! Me: Well, whenever I try to open up to you I personally feel like you just shut me down, yell at me, or just laugh and make the situation worse, and I end up thinking "why did I do that, I already knew it would've made everything worse" ((90 percent of my life my parents will never know)) Mom: **proves my point and goes on a rant about how I should be more grateful** Can anyone relate??
My mom loves me so much, but she always gets mad at me because she says that I talk back. I don’t understand this though because all I would do is ask a question. It was not always like this, and I want it to be back to normal, but I don’t know how to fix our relationship. I came to this video looking for some help, and my only hope is to communicate with her. But I’m afraid she will get mad at me like she did before. Any other tips to help me fix my relationship with my mom?
I love my parents dearly and all I want to do is constantly make them everything but proud and happy. But ways and means they used upbringing me were sometimes very harsh and hurtful even physically. I never wanted anybody to know about this part of my relationship with my parents and I felt ashamed sharing this with someone. I don't mean to judge them. I just feel sorry that both me and them share these memories which are very sad moments of my childhood. Now I know for sure what I WON'T be doing to MY own kids.
My father is an actual psychopath. He abused my mother, called my family members names like stupid and worthless, and even bet my other sister with a shoe to near-death once (and yes, he's really sexist). He causes tantrums and complains about the slightest of problems when it comes to things like food. The only good thing he does is buy us what we want to get. I wish he could just disappear from my life forever but he keeps coming to my house once a week on Friday and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm only 13 but I wanna know, is there anything I can do to stop seeing him?
Call the cops or get help from your school counselors i know it's not the best advice. I'm sorry you have to go through this and i hope things have gotten better since you posted this.
1. We never huge in our house not even when I was a child. 2. What interaction? 3. No, I just do what my mom says. 4. I have an Autistic brother so I don't have time to spend with her.. plus she has work. 5. I just sit crying while Im yelled at. 6. What she says goes. 7. What's boundaries? 8. This is ok but I have to have straight A's.. no A- or im grounded. Perfection is an expectation.
My parents want nothing to do with me. Not then as a teen, not now as an adult. If I try/tried any of this I’d either get smacked, insulted, both or probably worse.
I know a lot of this is meant for mentally healthy people but I find that some of this is not manageable. I have brothers who think it’s a good idea to fight all the time so if I get stuck in the car with them, if I want to stay happy I have to tune everyone out. I would totally hug my parents more if I wasn’t becoming touch averse and I wish I liked being touched. But I don’t. Not because it isn’t “cool”, I don’t give a heck about socially cool stuff. But because touch makes me uncomfortable. Maybe there should be videos on relationships with teens that have mental disorders like anxiety, depression etc. That would do me some good.
No offense to this video as I know to meant to help but, not all parents are created equal. I’m sure there are many people that aren’t comfortable hugging a parent daily due to mental or physical abuse. It’s not always possible to talk to a gaslighting parent about your feelings as they turn into the victim. There are videos on this channel that DO talk about dealing with those kinds of parents and that’s amazing! However, if there is a parent that has no motivation, no self esteem, and thinks it is too late to fix themselves, how does one fix that? If the parent is taking out their own struggles on the child and refuses to acknowledge that, how do you help? I’m not sure if I’m making much sense with how I’m wording this. I’d love to see a video/videos on helping a parent realize their toxic behavior in a healthy way that doesn’t cause them to lose even more motivation to fix themselves. Back to my original point, not all parents understand these concepts and refuse to accept that their behavior is toxic.
Its kinda sad to me that i searched up “How to get closer to your mom” Me and my mom never got along, we argue so much and i just wish i could stop arguing with her and just be close to her like other daughters and mothers
I was crying knowing that my dad hates me. My mom asked my dad if he loves me while he was drunk and he never lies when hes drunk he said "who will love a ugly ass disappointment" my heart broke i dont wanna live anymore i wanna go back to the days where my dad loved me, where i had fun with him now its just hatred that he has for me i honestly don't wanna live anymore. I know im not the best daughter he wanted, but i love him it just breaks me seeing him say he hates me.
5:36 - " Thats not normal! " " Why don't you try!? " -My dad.. I was crying while watching this, because of that how bad my and my dads relationship is.... Its been 5 months since I have seen him.. Thank you for tips.
I was always caught up looking for what my parents did wrong, when I should have tried better to fit in the family. I hope I can still turn this around sooner than later.
I have a dysfunctional family 😂 I'm the glue holding it together. I'm the shield for my lil sis. I'm dying inside,nobody cares bout me. Even when I care bout all of them!!!
i have a good relationsship with my mother, but my dad and stepmom are the most toxic people i've ever met. scream at everything i do, and they think that i'm just going to respect them, when they don't respect me at all. my self esteem is basically non-existing when i'm at their house
Thank you for this video! I love my family (my parents and little sister) to death, but lately I just don't know how to approach them, and I feel that I am being toxic. I want to learn to enjoy time with my family again.
I came here because earlier, I had an argument with my mom, because my brother and I started spitting hurtful words to each other INFRONT of our MOTHER, and when I tried to just stay quiet and mind my own business to avoid such drama, my brother kept telling me such words, until I was hurt with that one word he said, I asked my mother to atleast discipline him or something, well she did, but we all knew it wasn't enough for my little brother to stop talking, and my brother still didn't stop, Im a short-tempered person, and... I hit my brother (I know Im immature Im sorry I wasn't thinking straight), and ofcourse, my mother got mad at me and disciplined me, I said that why didn't she discipline him better and I wouldn't have hitted him if she did it right. But all this time, I was still in the wrong, I said " Why is he ALWAYS the victim?! " and after some more unrespectful words and glares I gave my mother, I realized.. I was still in the wrong. I did know that I was the wrong one all those years I've spent with my family, but I just said " I might be in the wrong because they cannot understand me " But it was false.. It was all SELF-PITY, and now.. Our family is gonna be torn into pieces soon, I'll be sent to my REAL Father and my brother will stay with my step-father (which is my lil bros real father), and my mom will make a way of her own.. I don't want those things to happen.. But it was all because of me, I LOVE my mother, I LOVE my lil brother, but even tho I tried showing them how I loved them.. Some things never change.. Im still as horrible.. I hate myself for it.. I can't talk to my mother one-on-one because I don't think she ever wants those kinds of talks and it will just trigger what bad things had happened and she'll be mad at me again.. Im sorry, you can hate what I had done, I understand it because I know I've been such a bad daughter, but can I ask y'all fow an advice and how can I fix my family? I really don't want to be seperated with them.. Thankyou for reading.. ❤
1. I tried to hug my mom for a while, but she just saw it as weird 2. every time I tried to talk to my mom she was on the computer and when I asked her to stop being on the computer while I talk yo her she got really annoyed 3. every time I tried to ask for advice she just either said exactly what to do and if I didn't agree dismissed everything and just said do what you want to do, which I found very unhelpful 4. When I tried to spend some time with her she always were busy or not in the mood, the moment she wanted to do something and I couldn't it was my fault for not wanting to spend time with her. 5. oh yeah, many emotions were shut down. Pretty sure that's why I have some serious emotional problems 6. if she listened at all she always had to make it about herself, so yeah 7. oh wow, one she actually did. yeah, if there's something I really appreciate is that my mom did respect my boundaries. 8. oh, another one she was actually trying to do, well, considering she didn't pay enough attention to what I did in the first place was really weird to me and I always felt like she didn't mean it cool
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for all your gratuitous efforts and the psychological help you provide us. Please keep up the great work , you're truly changing lives ....
I would like to get more hugs, i think she think i'm big for that and i don't need them, we just talk and sometimes it's difficult to show my real emotions, so i don't feel enough confident i guess
I always want to hug them. Once I was hugging my mom and she used it against me on how I should do better with knowledge and schools so that I could earn a hug. So apparently I need to do something for some damn comfort
I just turned 13 and I feel like crying all the time. I have excruciating headaches and I feel like my heart will explode. I try to talk to my mum but she doesn’t listen and I want us to love each other as much as possible. Please help
my mom outright said that there’s probably no fixing our relationship and she said “it is what it is.” i’m 13. i love her and i want a good relationship but she doesn’t feel the need to change anything
Happy Monday everyone! Free e-book on introversion here: goo.gl/uq9FCj
Psych2Go I think parents need to realize that its very stressful being a teenager and that we don't need snide remarks and jokes at our expense on top of it all
Also there's such a thing as wanting to be the hell alone
Both parents and child can learn to be there for one another :)
Psych2Go I have a really patchy relationship with my parents. I used to be the mature always understanding child. Then in my teenage years I hit rock bottom loosing all chill and not tolerating anymore. I understood that all those years of bottling up my feelings resulted in my outburst now as a teenager. It's hard for me to communicate with my parents because I can't describe my feeling. I'm bad at comprehending my feelings and they can't understand. I am totally lm apathetic. And a lot has been because my parents failed to respect my boundaries. I became more of a rebel. I don't have any friends and I barely talk to anyone in school cuz I can't relate to anyone. Some times I wish to God to give me the strength to end my life. But I don't have the guts to do it. And part of why I think like that is because of my parents. Whom I can't relate with. It's like me against them 24/7. I'm starting to talk less to them now. I don't eat at the same time as them. Just to avoid small talk.
you guys are awesome i love you all!!
It always baffles me when I remember people actually love their parents and have good relationships with them. Never knew what thats like
.... I agree
Very true...
Being a parent can be hard too.
It can be hard but it isn't that hard to remember "Don't hit the child".
Rose 'n' Pink Wait, hitting is abnormal outside of Hispanic culture? Cause it's embedded into mine
Ha... it's kinda hard to accept a hug from the same person who hurts you in many ways.
Random Buddy I get it. You become mentally exhausted. Trusting your parents again and again. And them letting you down again and again.
mysha sadman Yeah exactly. It's almost an endless cycle that gets worse the more it repeats.
I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think of fleeing but I can't gut up to do that.
exactly. She just insults me, puts me down for no reason.
mysha sadman Ahh same. There would be so many pros to running away and having freedom, but so many cons as well - it's like they cancel out eachother.
Me: makes a real, actual valid point in an argument.
Mother: *_ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME_*
Agreed
Exactly!
IKR 😔
Uhg ikr
Agreed
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
My parents' insults and saying everything bad about me is what I tend to remember all the time from them.
So when they suddenly hug me and compliment me.. It feels awkward and my mind was like... "Huh, I am beautiful..? You just told me that I was ugly!"
Roxii Chuu yes I got the same thing my parents always don't care when I do some art or a cake
..... Wow I to get insulted berated smacked around And it does feel weird to get a compliment
you get hugs and compliments? lucky
The same thing happens to me. Finally, someone who understands.
Roxii Chuu right
I wish my parents could just bother to acknowledge how hard School is and stop criticizing me over my grades. They never let me figure it out and instead they always intrude. It makes me so angry to be criticized constantly.
Same
It’s frustrating we are forced to go to school for 12 years and maybe more just to do the same thing everyday until we are too old to work
but the stupidest thing is that its the parents fault for not making me make my homework 😔
From this mama: please know you are more than your grades. School is a place to teach your structure, and all of the subjects that they use to teach that to you are agonizing unless you find enjoyment in one or all of them. And that's okay. Because life is so much more expansive and less complex, that your gifts will benefit you-- but the most important thing is that you know how to survive and sustain yourself while using that gift. School is temporary, it will pass
@@LBowen-wg5rn I really do appreciate that, thank you. I’ve actually graduated high school now. I made that comment when I was a freshman in the darkest period of my life. I don’t miss high school one bit, and you are right in every word you say.
My parents and I have a pretty good relationship; I love them and they love me. But sometimes, they’re too overprotective and stubborn. They don’t listen to me and what I want, instead thinking that they know what is best for me. I also don’t ever tell them anything, it’s like I physically can’t. I have trust issues with them but I’m not sure why. I’m not good at communicating with them and most of the time I don’t want to because I know they probably won’t listen to me. I don’t know what I should do to fix this.
Hi Samantha, thanks for opening up about this. How many of you guys would like a video on how to communicate better with your parents?
Psych2Go Yes please
Yeah I'm just about the same
Psych2Go
I think that would be great
Psych2Go Yaass, I think so many people need that video
Me and my mom’s relationship is super healthy. Even if we both have bad days we talk to each other about it. And even though I’m 16 and my mom is 53 we still make time for snuggles if we both are upset or just need someone. We talk all the time and it’s awesome. I’m so close to my mom than my other sisters. It’s even better cause for me I’ve never wanted or seen the need to be popular or feel peer pressure. I wear a lot of vintage clothing and unique clothing like my mom. We are honestly the same person if you think about it. Expect I’m pansexual but mostly gay. She loves me for who I am. I’m so lucky to have her.
PastelGhibli :3
Moms are the best
I wish I had that..
You are very lucky and I'm very glad you have this kind of healthy relationship. It's really nice to remember that healthy relationships can exist so thank you
That's good
Ew gay
As I've been growing as a teen I see myself distancing myself from my parents. I feel like I can't talk to them about my problems and that they don't understand me. I love gaming and talking with friends online but my parents think it's b/s. Playing games is an amazing past time for me and makes me feel happy, but they always say "go outside" or "get off that laptop." I understand that taking time away from technology is good and I've been making sure that I take the dog for walks during the day, walking to friend's houses and the weekends and such, but I feel as though they only see the bad side of the internet rather than the side I enjoy.
McNugget Don't worry, you're not alone. My parents are exactly like this about everything. I just wish they would open their mind sometimes
It's because your parents grew up in a time with little technology and kids were way more physical and social. Kids were tougher then, which is why most kids today, when they graduate from high school, are considered unfit for military service because they're too weak.
Couldn't of said it better
GraveyardOfEden think about it , what they are saying is for your own good. They aren’t getting anything out of it. They just care.
Same here
When you realise it's broken and you can't fix it.
Steven003 same
You can fix it sometimes
Should we do a video on how to fix a broken relationship with your parents?
Psych2Go yes
Psych2Go Definitely!
Me when i speak to my parents for 15 min
:
2 min to say what i want
13 min saying "i didnt shout"
Lmaoooo samme
Yesss
🤣 true
So they don’t even actually acknowledge what you said but gaslight you and move on.
FOR.REAL
1) Hug
2) Off Technology At The Time Of Interaction
3) Connect Before Large Decision Making
4) Spend Quality Time With Them
5) Encourage Emotions Instead Of Shutting Them Out
6) Listen To Understand, Not With The Intent To React
7) Respect Boundaries
ADD YOUR OWN POINTS IN REPLIES....
I have never hugged or been hugged, or shown affection by my parents. My mom is a narcissist, and doesn’t care about me at all. I also have a language barrier with my parents, because I wasn’t taught how to speak their language and grew up with my aunt who spoke English. My grandma taught me a little bit, but my language will never be enough for me to have a proper conversations with my parents. I hate not being able to understand my family, and my parents blame me for not growing up to automatically know the language. I am convinced my parents hate me, but they love my siblings because they buy food, and clothes for them. They always leave to go anywhere without me, and my mom constantly threatens to leave me because I’m so stupid and dumb, and can’t do anything right. I feel worthless in my house because I cannot speak, I cannot understand, and I am not close to anyone in my own house. And this is just one problem I have with my family.
autumn Im so sorry about that :( I know its hard but stay strong and don’t listen on them.. Your not dumb, ok? I might know how u feel, both my parents claim the other one is a narcissist and they are really cold and unloving parents.
Kill Them
Just kidding don’t
They do deserve it though
I'll give u virtual hug
Boundaries is what my mother does not respect. I'm top of that it feels like I have to earn her respect and love as opposed to it just being there
BoldKingCole kinda how I feel about my dad but don’t give up
I feel that way honestly sometimes.
But you actually have to earn respect, its not supposed to "just be there"... yet ofc it should go both ways.
You respect her, she respects you. At least that's how it is supposed to be.
1. I tried to hug them , but they called me childish.
2. I can’t-
3. Won’t happen to my mom
4. I won’t do that because they hate me
Atleast you have friends🙂
You have to still try
Kill them, bury them in the back yard. Leave a fake note that your parents have left for police to not suspect you, repeat. Profit
Captain Jack Pugh WTF
Emi Yes
My dad is my best friend. Sounds like I am a loser, but we are so alike that we just like talking every day about music, news and even tv. I wouldn’t change these talks we have, I think they are essential to my day.
Edit: I am sorry not everyone has this with their parents, and I consider myself lucky. I know all of you will find someone who loves and support you. You deserve it!
nerd shadow lackey I don’t have parents because they just hurt me but my grandparent are better and my hope and laughter🦋💙
sana all
@@solt635 oo nga sana all hahha
@@quirozmadi6181 Man one thing i realized is no matter how much your parents hurt you they would do it for a lesson and also they don't really mean it and when you hopefully get older you will understand
@@bellzification pushing a person to trauma and telling they don't mean it . if the kid commits suicided they would learn the lesson .right? (pressure from parents in childhood causes lifelong problems - from my experience )
As someone is actually already has a heathly relationship with my parents, I'm glad to see stuff like this. There often is a mix of teens/parents complaining about the other party when in all reality simple things can help improve respect which in turn improves relationship. Love these videos, keep up the hard work.
Indeed. That was the goal of this video as well. Hopefully, this video can benefit the child or the parents! It's intended for both audience!
I feel like my relationship with my parents have froze already - I do not talk about any of the things that make me happy because later on my parents would and will use it against me, so when I do something close to my heart I will not let them see it, I want to keep those things positive on me.
I wish my parents could have been like this on my teenage years, my parents also insulted my physical appeareance and insulted my shyness and insecurity, I have learned to get over them with supportive friends and boyfriend though, but I think only time and a little distance for now helps to cool things off, let them see that I'm an adult and not a child.
There is one event actually that I remember forever from my mother. My mother got very mad at me at why am I shy and why don't I talk to them, so on our way home she explained to me very madly how that when we get home, we will practise speaking together over dinner and practise job interviews and whatsoever, as a shy girl who did not want to talk to their parents, they dragged my self confidence to lowest possible with this.
I recognize me in the first part.
Somehow my parents feel like they need to say to me something 3 times, and it's always the same things ? Once my father tell me, then my mother, then both... And they even contradict themselves.
"Tell us when you go to see your friend" But I told you, I send you "I'm going to Hfgje to see Friend" "Telling us mean you need to ask for permission, and you should tell both of us, not only your father !'
"You should tell us, even only one of us" But I did "Yes but you were already leaving"
"You need to tell us""And tell us mean asking for permission""And you ask me, or here""No, you ask both of us"
It's incredibly boring and ridiculous, and I did everything they asked before, and suddenly they change because they doesn't like it that way anymore so they are mad at me because they changed it without telling me ?
Delanya I feel that pain...I used to be so happy and talkitive then...my teenage years began...so they try to give me advice but half the time I don't know what to believe. My self confidence is going down hill...my dad is now saying put your shoulders back and have pride and confidence. But this is doing a complete opposite effect on me. And also things like makeup and flattening my hair...I refuse to do it because I have reasons.
@Rose 'n' Pink I hear ya on that. my parents, mostly my mom would always wonder where I'm going/doing. I would just go out with friends, then suddenly get a "WHERE ARE YOU?!" txt from my mother followed by an argument once home. So, she told me to let her know where I'm going if I go out. But then I called out to her that I'm tired of this, I'm an adult (19-20 yrs old back then). She would then reply; "you don't have to tell me where your going, ur old enough to do whatever you want"
WHAT?! >:(
It went on for a while that if I DON'T tell her where I'm going, she would get mad at me. But if I DO tell her where I'm going, she would say; "u don't have to tell me"
Those were very annoying years. =_=
Once my phone was on silent mode and I wasn't looking at it for 5 minutes, and I got a text asking me where I was, then 2 minutes later 15 missed calls and 20 texts, the last one was "I'm calling the police" IN TWO MINUTES. And when I went back home they told me that I ignored them on purpose, because all teen are on their phone 24h/24h . That was one of the most ridiculous argument I ever heard.
D: wow thats ridiculous. I'm sorry to hear that, *hug*
I really don't know what to do.
I feel like a total burden to my family.
I get insulted and shamed nearly everyday and then everyone acts like nothing happened at all.
Everyone is unhappy together,yet there are still good times.
lol
@@C0ZYL4ZY Dude its not funny.
I'm sorry you are going through such horrible experience. Some people don't understand the damage they can cause with their actions. Trust me, you have so much opportunities ahead of you that the time will come when you will have such a peaceful future and will be surrounded by people that will see your full potential and will keep admiring the person you are
@@greciabaiza9275 Thank you for your kind words! It matters a whole lot to me :D
Make sure to stay safe and take EPIC care too! ¹¹¹¹
You aren't a burden. Please communicate to someone about it. You're loved by others :)
My parents are overly controlling. I have to lie every time I wanna to do something. They see me as a good daughter, even tho I do things behind their back , it is too late to ask their permission to do anything, I just have to lie and lie . And this how I do things in my end . Even one is happy.
Same here and its gonna be okay dear... You're not alone
When I was a teen I used to also go behind my mother's back and lie to be able to do things I wasn't supposed to do. But when I became 18 I told her the truth of what I had been doing, and she was like "I know. Of course I know. I did the exact same thing when I was your age, and a bit more than that too". And we ended up laughing about it, and I felt really silly for going behind her back when I could've just been completely honest from the start. All parents have been teens. They know what it's like. Today I'm 28 and have a child of my own. I still live with my mother, and I've recently bought a house, and since she's getting near retirement I figured she can still live with me then. We became really close friends, and I tell her everything now (even when she doesn't seem to listen, I yap away just to ventilate) and it's very good for our parent - child relationship and also for my mental health lol.
The point is, it's never too late to ask their permission or tell them the truth. Tell them how you feel and why things turned out the way it has, and that you want to try solving it together with them. It's hard growing up, and it's hard raising a child. A lot of things change in a short amount of time and both parties need to be aware of that change and talk about it. It's a journey for all of you, and you're traveling side by side. So you need to help each other out. The parents should see it as a sign of growth. We all should take the time to sit down and talk about deeper topics with our parents and children more often.
@@neaofthenorth but it's hard doing that. I'm like afraid so I just keep it to myself.
They believe it! Wow
There's no turning back to a good realtionship with my parents for me, they wanted it like this, they had it.
that's heavy 😧
Aqua Marine it is what it is.
Feel you 😣
Every relationship can be salvaged through honest communication, love and forgiveness, understanding and compromise.
Parents always love their children and it’s natural to want to protect their children.
Ego and stubbornness in teens who want to follow their peers and be rude and disrespectful to their parents will always lead a troublesome life - especially when that parents heart is pure as gold.
@@neelapatel4957 have you considered it could also be cause by the parent? An example could be victim blaming or quick to dismiss them as you think you know what they want to say?
I feel really lucky to have the great parents I do, me and my dad sing together, watch shows together, and play together, he is always supportive and encourages me to do good. My mom is also extremely supportive, understanding, caring and loving, we spend lots of time together and I can always talk to her about anything, thank god for letting me have these great parents!
would show this to my mom if she'd stop to notice me anymore,
good tips though, at least I know what to do if I ever have children
Baby Bitch true dat my mom hurts me when someone talks behind my back or when she’s talking behind my back
My parents told me they loved me when i was 3, ive never heard those words from them again. They have made me gain anxiety and blame me for it, all my friends say that they will open to me but they havent. Ive hugged them, made sure they were ok and done chores so they wont be in pain. They've just broke me
I remember when I found out my mother wasn't just a mom. She was her own human being who felt all kinds of different things and reacted differently to certain situations. The day I realized that I was able to forgive and let go of much hurt. I also learned some parents never had the parents we wish they could have been.
One way my parents could have kept a relationship: not laughing at your child when she tells you she's getting bullied at school.
I hope you are doing better luv💕💕
Aww omds that's horrible hope you're better now!
For real I told my dad I was being bullied and have been for a long while he just said "oh well I've ever seen you come home with a broken nose." Even though I had a black eye?
Those are not parents those are lost souls walking
My relationship with my parents is in a all-time low. Whenever I think of them or I’m around them I just get into a spiral of depression. It’s really difficult to love someone who hurts you.
has it gotten any better?
when i was little, i used to hate hugging my parents before sleep or after school or whatever times that are right cause my teachers used to say 'you should have your own personal space' so i did and that's what leaded me to 'hate hugging my parents or anyone' now that i know what the teachers actually mean (im 12 btw) it is ok to hug someone cause it's more like heaven than ever
This video and reading the comments helps me to understand things a lot better.
Hate to say that my relation to my parents is already broken for years and I dont believe it will ever be fixed. As in most cases it started when I became a teenager (Ill be 20 this year)
My parents really never understand me (I know everybody says that but its true) They never listen to me nor take/took me seriosuly - I know they are right when they say "You never talk to us anyway". But did they ever think about why I really really hate talking to them ?
When I always tell them "leave me alone" (because I am sad/depressed, angry or anxious) they never listen ! But are insulted and act like they are the victim and I am the oh-so-bad ungrateful child. Because they "are always there for me amd do everything for me" and I "just never realise that".
When I told my parents that I wanted to leave school, they and teachers were against it (I changed school in the end but after years at the worst timing ever. It changed my live amd I regret it - but thats another story)
My parents also told (and still do ot at times) what job etc I shall do - especially when I had no idea of my future. I really wonder where they get their crazy ideas from. I can kinda sorta understand that... lately, they act like this: See me once having fun doing sth new or talking about 1 single topic I learned in school (even though I suck at that subject/never cared aboiut it before), tell me to become this or that. WTF ? I can at least understand where that idea comes from. But some are just...WTF ? I would NEVER do that ! Especially in my youth my parents really "commanded" me to do this or that "because it fits to me better than" what I wanted - I did prove my parents wrong in the end though and they even support me ? O.o Back then they always told me off of my dream and.... everything because I - we were all new and unexperienced and "this is not who I am".
We also used to argue...oh Idk.... every day ?! Luckily not everyday now but it still happens. Because of school or even the silliest things you can imagin. And of course "I" am " always the one who starts the argue." Dou you think I *want* to argue ?!
Sometimes they come in my room to tell me sth. then they somehow change topic and stsrt the argue. Wow. Did you just come itno my room to yell at me again ? And of course they wont leave -.-
Everyday either they yelled at me for everything or i always had to withness them yelling at eah other. But hey "arguing is normal in every family." -_-
I am even too scared to talk to them. Earlier I hated school but even more coming home because I knew what awaited md.
I NEVER talked to my parents nor asked them for help - so I am the bad guy for being independent (and a loner) ? I just hate arguing. Every day.
No wonder I have PTSD and dont fight back anymore like I used to in my rebelllious "phase".
When I told them about my depression they also yelled at me (for not telling earlier/anything at all) I always had the feeling I get only punished for being sad/mad. Can you imagine how I felt back then ?
Or when I feel tired/exhaused and dont get things (especially physical) done they call me "lazy". - they yelled at me last week because of it again. Sometimes I am also just so busy I work till late evening (i mean homework etc) so I just dont have time to also do the extra things they asked me to do. why is it sth. Different when I want to take a brrak and say no ?
I used to be the biggest nay sayer in the world. Now i am an obedien t wimp who is too afraid to say no or anything at all. But no no my parents "havent raised me too strict".
What really insulted/hurt me the last 2 years was that when I didnt eat anything (cause I got bullied at a new school and was alone) my parents only yelled at me and were insulted. Again. No surprise. Only last year when I did an intershipment they sudde ly worried what i will eat when I am gone all day. WTF ?! * facepalm *
I could go on and name more things...
I have always been afraid to make mistakes - I am learning now to not take everything by heart. Really hard when you get yelled at for every little shit and have a broken self esteem.
I just said that i have become too afraid to say no since I changed school. I give in nowadays, dont even fight back anymore nor bother to stand up amd defent myself anymore. Becaude I both cant take it any.ore and have no more energy left and became afraid of it.
I speak less than usual and always do now what my parents/others tell me before getting into a other conflict.
I also started to hide and bottle up my emotions. - I am a very sensitive emotional person so ot is not good. Just beause my parents always tell me "shut up ! Shht dont speak! You re too emotional " Of corse I am emotional !! I am no machine !!! Or "shut up I cant hesr it anymore ! Hlw many times are you gonna tell us the same story ?! Stop complaining !"
Well I did now. It was the worst I could to myself.
Back then my parens were mad that I never talked to them. Now they are mad *because* I want - amd need to talk ?! Wtf am I suposed to lesrm from them ?! ...already back the n they were mad that I never understood what they want from me.
I really dunno what to do. I have nobody to talk. My parents dont listen.
And I really dont want to hide my emotions and be an obedient zomby/ puppet - I became what I alwqys used to rebell against. Nowadays i just push my emotions (amger, sadness) aside and force myself to not remember the past anymore. What only increases my physical pain, makes me very tense, worried, mistrusting amd gives me a 24/7 pain in my chest nowadays (i had none of these physical pains - only psychicsl. Until I changed school amd started to hide my emotions)
Idek anymore who I am amd what i want (yet again). Again I just feel loke its their life not mine (but I dont fight back anymore)
I also started to question myself, and everything that happened.
Maybe they arent so bad ?....but i still hate them amd see their mistakes (even if some are in the psst, they are still there)
And about my dad who is ALWAYS grumpy and yells for everything (including 2 days ago) I wont get started. He really never cared about the family... neither do I about him. But...nowadays it makes me ev en kinda mad seeing father (figures) having a better relation to their children than us (I saw my favourite movie that day and idk why it made me so mad all of sudden to see the father characters - even though i always used to like them)
Argh i just dunno anymore. I told my parents but they just dont care about my depression, burnout, anxiety etc (and all the other shit I got over the time) and expect me to act like everything is fine - no it isnt ! And I cant do a 100% perfrct job like other people and always be top motivieren and energetic ! Or wsnting to sociaslise all the time with strangers ( believe me I do for 3 years - I HATE it ! But hey ! I just "need to open up".) And be so charismatic and extrovert like them ! THATS *NOT* me !
I know they have their own problems too ( I had to grow up fast and know the other side of the story now) - making me only doubt and question even more. I know my feels ARE true ! Why am i acting like they arent and denying them as well ?!
Back then my biggest desire was just to move out and live my own life.
But guess they were right in the end. I "cant take care of myslef anymore". True. I lost / gave up my freedom and independance and really feel/am so broken I cant do it alone anymore.
Sorry for the long text. I just need to let it out some where. Thx to everybidy who reads this
tiger löwe I don't think it'll help you but here is some love for you:
I don't have the whole experience but I do understand a bit of it. I hope your life gets better and if it doesn't don't hesitate to tell someone. There will be someone that will listen. (Even if I have to scroll through the comments to find you xD) I know what it feels like slightly, and again, I hope things get better.
Both of you had bad communication style. You don’t tell your parents “leave me alone “. There’s an assertive and respectful way to express your needs, like” mom dad, I am not feeling well right now. I’d like to stay alone for a while to sort my feelings. Hope you don’t mind.”
😲
We're here to listen, and help in any other way... If you ever need anything, reply back here
Ever since I came out to my dad, and started the GED program, I've been going to him to vent and for advice. For the first time in my life.
I still can't count on him financially, but that's better then what life used to be like.
Olivia Beakman I hope it gets better for you
FuturisticMe
Thank you, but I'm not ever going to count on it. He promised my oldest sister he'd pay $1000 for her college as a gift, and it's been nearly six months...
He says he doesn't have the money...
He's planning a trip to Tokyo with his girlfriend in April for a WEEK. He has the money.
Going to be a better parent than both my parents. :)
They never did any of this.
The difficulty I have with my parents- and family in general is that after telling them a reason for something, or what is wrong- I feel like nothing can be done about it, or that nothing will be.
I think part of it is that I'm not what they expected of their first child growing up into a teenager- I don't want to argue with them, I don't want to rant and moan about how they "never let me do anything" or how "so and so does it, why can't I?" a lot of the time I just want to have mutual understanding between me and another person. And I may be wrong- but I do feel like while I make a constant effort to (even though I do seem patronizing when I do it) accept their opinions and views and listen to them- even when I feel strongly about what they are saying, they don't do the same. That or I just have a lack of understanding of it- I find it hard to read my parents. And I can tell that they find it equally as difficult to read me, but *I* don't know what to do- and rather then offer solutions, I tend just to recoil into silence and let things carry on because I'm still a child and the parents knows better, that and I'm afraid of holding onto and building up an idea of how whatever issue can be "fixed", telling them and it being shot down- without people realizing quite how strongly I felt about it.
Some of this hits too damn close...
TW: suicide
My dad is manipulative and has really bad anger issues. He is so incredibly controlling. About 75% of my memories of us is him screaming at me in my room, ripping things apart, breaking things, my mom sitting next to us and me crying, screaming and hitting myself. I ended up attempting suicide at the young age of 12 because i couldnt take it any more .
My mom has a huge victim complex. She thinks there is nothing wrong with her and that her ideas are better than everyone elses (except for my dad since he absolutely ruins her self confidence)
I am 15 years old and have an older sister who is 19. My sister was always the golden child. She did everything my parents told her ever since she was a toddler. Even in her teenage years, she stayed quiet for most of the time and just told herself to be patient. She knew that if she did that for long enough, she would gain their trust, they would see her efforts and try changing themselves. She did not want to do anything to hurt or dissapoint them. She is now in university.
And then there is me, i am a very vocal person. I am neurodivergent , queer and i am very emotional (not as in me always being sad but my emotions changing quickly and me feeling them in extremes) I developed many mental health issues like ed's ,horrible anxiety and depression but unlike my sister, i cannot stay quiet. If something happens i am able to go against my parents. It effected my mental health even worse but afer tons of arguements, it ended up changing my parents slightly (which was more than i ever hoped for) . I opened up to them about stuff and we had very brutal arguments but i couldnt hold anything in. My sister would always tell me to " just listen to them, they know best and they love us. You will gain their trust soon and itll be all worth it in the end."
My sister came back from university to visit home a few days ago but my parents were out of town. We are extremely close so she ended up opening up to me about some issues she has been facing and she was on the verge of completely breaking down. My parents were still pushing her to a snapping point and she noticed it in a very harsh way that nothing changed after all that effort. They didnt trust her, they didnt see her efforts and they still were being abusive. She told me how grateful she was that my parents were finally changing (slowly but much better than before) and that she wished she could do that before me, so i wouldnt have to go through it. She also has horrible mental health issues cuz of my parents and still struggles to tell them her thoughts truthfully, but she is done with it all. My parents arent bad people and they love us so dearly but they are absolutely horrible parents.
The whole family knows that there is an issue in our relationship but our parents will not and cannot fix it so here i am, trying to get my parents to notice what good parents actually are
. I am a pretty selfish person when it comes to my parents since i lost all respect towards them, so thats why i dont care too much about not hurting them while we are arguing since they abused me for so long. But after i saw my sister bawling her eyes out by the kitchen table, i was filled with rage. She doesnt deserve any of this. I stopped trying to please my parents ages ago but she never did. She hurt herself so much for them and she didnt deserve this kind of treatment.
We are still struggling but i hope my parents will finally listen out to their children that they are so close to completely losing.
(I just noticed how much i vented lol my bad. I guess i just really needed it. Just dont mind me)
*when u realize your relationship with your parents is basically unslavagable*
Watching this, so I’ll be a good parent in the future.
I’m still 16
Now,you are 18!
Anagha N.J oh god this comment is already 2 years old- Yesterday is actually my birthday haha and I turned 19!
@@maybelx9547 glad to know it!😍
happy late birthday
shadow x Aw thank you!
Any tips on how to get through to my brother that thinks the best way to teach his teenage child is to have one-sided lectures and/or arguments? The last time I tried to talk to him he ended up yelling at me. Which at least distracted him from my niece, but certainly wasn't a productive conversation :/
You can try to subtly show him this video, sometimes an outside party can shed more clarity and lead to feeling less attacked than if someone close says it. All the best
thanks for making this video, i'm trying to improve my relationship with one of my parents because I'm growing apart from them.
to the rest of you guys, you don't deserve the bad treatment your parents show towards you, and I'm here for you. focus on improving yourself, even if it doesn't please your parents, because when you become a thriving young adult, you won't need them anymore. ilysm you all ❤
I envy you people who have a good relationship with your parents... mine got arrested for drugs when I was 9, and even 7 years later they're total shitbags. I currently live with my grandparents, and our relationship is nowhere close to healthy. Whenever I'm feeling sad or angry or hurt, I always get brushed off as "dramatic", and whenever I'm tired or stressed out, they don't give a shit. They always want what they want done right when they ask, and they show a blatant disregard for my life and my feelings. I've cried in front of them plenty of times, and all they've done is stare... no hugs, no apologies, none of that. I'm apparently always in the wrong for ever wanting time for myself and not wanting to devote my entire life to doing the housework. I wish I understood what I did wrong... I used to love them. They used to bring me to their house on the weekend when I still lived with my parents. Where did I mess up...?
I probably shouldn't be venting in the UA-cam comments section lmao
I just wish I knew how I screwed up to make things this way
Tiny Tree that fucking sucks... I feel so sad for you. I want to just hug you and tell you it’s gonna be ok. I’m really sorry for that bull shit. Nobody should have to put up with that. Stay strong.
I know what it feels like when you cry infront of someone and thinking they would care, but they still don't give a shit..it hurts. It hurts so bad. I'm sorry you went through all of that.
I still have too alive parents who are divorced and have joint custody but I hate them both I may have parents but I’d rather have a good relationship with a grand parent or uncle but I’ve never had either I don’t even know any of my family because my parents never introduced us
I am so sorry you’re experiencing all of those things. It’s normal to think you’re responsible for things being harr but you aren’t. Others have made you grow up faster than you should have. You are still a child, you are supposed to focus on yourself, interests and friends and hopes. Therapy may help if you have any resources, but being kind to yourself will help you far beyond childhood. I too grew up being with my grandparents mostly and not being nurtured. It’s really painful. Just know you aren’t alone.
My father left when I was very young because my mother wouldn’t move to my home country with him. I haven’t seen him since and hoping to see him this summer. My mother and I had a difficult time a lot. My mother had 2 boyfriends. The first one was an alcoholic and we had to live with him for years. Once they split up she found a man. He was actually good to her and my sister. There’s nothing wrong with him. But my step brothers, the older one is 17 and a total douche. Both of them are the worst. I have to do the house chores and they don’t. I have strict rules and they don’t. I hate it. I just wish my mother would just split up so we can move back to Ireland. Since we had to move to Germany to stay with the new man.i hate my life here. It’s unfair and school is going bad. And I can’t even complain when my step brother hits me. He touched me before but never got under the clothes. I hate my life here, I just wanna go back . I don’t want to stay here
If you read it to this far, thank you so much. You didn’t have to read my story but I thank you.
Wtf tell ur mom about this. You have to do something bro, fight back who to cares if u get in trouble teach them a lesson. It's been a while but I hope ur doing better now.
@Jiuokia I
Did you ever finally get to meet your father?
Have you told your mom yet?
May we be able to give our kids a childhood they will never need to heal from💜
My relationship with my dad has none of this, actually he does exactly what your not supposed to do. Between him always having to be the good guy and making me out to be the bad guy to stuff like isolating me though I honestly rather have the isolate me then him trying to talk to me about stuff that makes me really uncomfortable. Also it really irritates me as I have no opinion or decisions on much of anything between my dad, step mom, and grandma it's all about them and what they wanna do and the times they actually let me decide what I wanna do they need constant praise for it. Then another thing is if he wants attention especially in the car he literally goes all up in your face and start poking me well he's driving, he did this for almost a hour nonstop once. Then there is the fact of they constantly steal stuff from me that I value and if I try confronting them the blame gets shifted onto me and they say I lost my stuff and it's my fault and they were perfectly innocent. Another thing is my dad and step mom always talks behind my back what is worse is I pretty much can always hear them, like the one time my dad was complaining to one of his friends because I was to "picky" picking out my swimsuit. Yes we had to go to three different stores but that is because I'm very uncomfortable with two piece swimsuits and anything that shows or that looks similar to a dress or skirt, but not like I even wanted to go shopping either. Hell, I hated it even more then he did. Then after that he started complaining to me and wanting praise for something I didn't wanna do and was bugged and paranoid enough to agree on going. To be honest this point in time the only time I can ever release and stop holding everything inside is either typing it all out like I'm doing here or to my one friend..... I mean I accept the fact that my dad and grandma are both psychopaths and my step mom is a narcissist but at the same point I get slightly irritated like why am I wasting my time here well I could be at my mom and step dad's house perfectly peaceful for the most part except for the fact of I'm constantly walking on eggshells since my mom constantly baby's me.... (Sorry for the long vent this was originally gonna be short and completely different from this but I failed, though typing out and venting here has gotten alittle stress off of me)
Lightningkinz445 backup omg they steal from you that's horrible.....
My dad doesn't respect that I'm an independent person and don't hold his beliefs. He sees me as the perfect little girl I was, but I'm not like that anymore. He rufuses to listen to my perspective, so I really don't talk to him besides showing him my art, because he always encourages me in that department. I just wish he would listen and try to help me when I come to him with my problems instead of arguing or waving it off.
i’m convinced my parents either hate me or choosing favorites...
they don’t physically abuse me, and they feed me, they give me a place to sleep etc
it’s more like..l they don’t treat me the same as my other siblings... :(
I wouldn't consider my childhood to be bad but it was mediocre at best. I never got any of the things mentioned, I wasn't abused but I never got any encouragement and affection. Till now I struggle with communicating my emotions and how I feel.
I'm going to show this video to my mom, I've realized for a long time now that she's doing something, but I couldn't place my finger on it to work on it and point it out to her, but this helped me understand it! Thanks :D
Coming here and seeing the comment makes me feel less alone because I also have a problem to connect with my Mom and here comes that actually a lot of people having the same problem.. I wish we could all live a happy life and having a good relationship with our parents.. Sending love for you all 🥰
I think that children and their parents should learn to interact more with technology, and embrace it instead of demonizing/avoiding it. It can be used for conversation/interaction just as much as it can be used to avoid them.
Yes, that's a good idea, as long as there are limits, though. Too much screen time can be unhealthy for your brain and everyone needs a time offline.
But at the same time, learning to play an online game together as a family can be a good way of parents and kids to bond.
It made me cry s little because that's the type of relationship I've always wanted. Sometimes I think I might resent my own child because I'll work hard to provide a healthy and loving environment for them but that's everything I've always wanted.
I wonder what’s it like to be able to talk to my mom without arguing. I wish we could bond over things and I wish I could tell her stuff, like stuff about my day or my relationships. I wish that dearly.
try... and be brave to break the cycle..
Don't know if you'll read this or not still wanna tell you that you can still try...not telling you to reveal all the bottled up things to her, take it slow from telling her that the meal is delicious...applying oil in her feet at the end of the day before going to bed and start telling here things about your day (those things could be light and random avoid heavy topics) Don't reply to her when she is shouting , stay calm and when she is quite again tell here your points without...breaking into tears and mess.
experience hope it might help you
I love mom and dad even my grandparents so much I'm so grateful to have them even i misunderstood them i watch this video to help me with my attitude
I’ve recently felt a strange feeling of disconnect between myself and my parents, I’m hoping these strategies can help.
just wanna hug everyone in this comment section 🥺 you are loved, even if not from your parents..
When it comes to my oldest kids I feel that I am a terrible mother. Our relationship is okay But has been hard of course. They don't want to talk to much anymore.
I feel so lost and im trying to get to know more about how they feel and what they truly need of me now. I keep a healthy distanc but i feel they truly take advantage of it sometime. I mostly get pushed away and it truly dose hurt. I sometimes feel like giving up is the only way, even though it wont do anything to build the relationship. I hope things change they are both adults now. I just hope they dont decided to just stop all together. It has changed so much now. I don't know what to do. I've asked about it and they ignore it. I dont know what to do.
Thank you for this! I started tearing up because I am going through this with my 3 children and I am trying so hard that I am depressed & trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. I always encourage my 3 children each & every day! I don't want my relationship with them to be like the one I have with my parents. I am the badseed of the family and never ever want my 3 children to feel that way. I'll admit I am a worry wart and can be a bit overly protective when it comes to their safety but I have reasons for that.
AnimeAngel 78 you sound like a great parent! You're doing what's best for them! We're glad we could help you out with this video :)
That technology bit is actually the other way round, I want to talk to my mum she’ll just keep looking at her phone...
people with healthy relationships with their parents be chillin in the living room
I would like for my parents to watch this video and epesaly respect my bondres
_ _ Tiger_ _ for me it is too late.. and i am not completely sure, as my memory of the childhood is not the best of course, but i think they are a big part of the cause that i am quite paranoid and self-conscious..
whether or not, the relationship was not very close anymore since the age of 10 or so..
if you can, try talk to your parents about that. it is really important i guess
_ _ Tiger_ _ yeah I wish My parents let me have boundaries, they made me tell them the password to my phone and I have to let them take my phone and look through all the messages I have sent. Im 13 and when I tell them to stop doing it and I need some sort of privacy they tell me im to young to have secrets and there the parent not me. 😞
Sophink_ Oh shit.. maybe it is time to have some fun with that :P Like including in message a fake position in your room where you tell you would have drugs or whatever and then you leave a message there to tell them that relationships are based on trust. Its not sure they would understand it, so I have no idea if I would do it, but at least it has potential :D
CreativeName Yes! :D
_ _ Tiger_ _ I agree I’m just afraid to show my mom. I think she will probably laugh like she almost always does when I have and issue involving parenting. She basically ghosts me I never talk to her. I ask her about her day every day and get a 1 sentence response. She never participates in family activities. I hate that I love her.
I have a very hard time with my parents... My mom tells me "stop being a brat", "you're so disrespectful" , " you don't do anything", "stop staying in ur room", "why won't you talk to me!?" , "i won't buy or get you anything anymore!" , "stop embarrassing me", "why can't you be like your little sister?" , "you don't deserve anything", "your 13 you should get up and do everything by urself". I don't know why she thinks I'll give her hugs... All she does is put me down and hurt me... When I say she does those things she doesn't care... She says I need to get help all the time, I can't give her my love like she wants... I don't even know how to tell her that I love her because I get to afraid like I'll trust her to not hurt my feelings or out me down and she does... I need help, any tips anyone?
Thanks for the tips, needed this to be honest.
Worthless Ace glad we could help :)
I’m a new mom and this just popped up after a “call your mom and tell them you love them” video and all of these comments are breaking my heart. I’m only 30 but I’ll adopt you all as my babies and give you love and hugs 🥺
I get a long with my parents
But it never was a Problem to improve
Thanks for the heart 😃
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Just because Two Children Grew Up in the same Home and had the Same Parents Doesn't Mean They had the Same Childhood
Mom: why dont you feel like you can trust me?? Ofc you can, tell me anything!!
Me: Well, whenever I try to open up to you I personally feel like you just shut me down, yell at me, or just laugh and make the situation worse, and I end up thinking "why did I do that, I already knew it would've made everything worse" ((90 percent of my life my parents will never know))
Mom: **proves my point and goes on a rant about how I should be more grateful**
Can anyone relate??
I cant even open up cuz having a normal conversation with my opinion that they disagree with is impossible
@@memegenarator632 exactly 🙄
i was watching this and my dad saw i was watching it and he started to yell at me and i just finished crying.
I can't even have a reasonable argument with my parents because they'll just slap me. I'm going to move out next year.
ml the first one made me cry because my mom doesnt do that but my father does. I'll make sure to hug more often.
My mom loves me so much, but she always gets mad at me because she says that I talk back. I don’t understand this though because all I would do is ask a question. It was not always like this, and I want it to be back to normal, but I don’t know how to fix our relationship. I came to this video looking for some help, and my only hope is to communicate with her. But I’m afraid she will get mad at me like she did before. Any other tips to help me fix my relationship with my mom?
Write her a letter. Tell her exactly how you feel and let her know you miss her. It's not your job to fix this on your own. Youre the child
I love my parents dearly and all I want to do is constantly make them everything but proud and happy. But ways and means they used upbringing me were sometimes very harsh and hurtful even physically. I never wanted anybody to know about this part of my relationship with my parents and I felt ashamed sharing this with someone. I don't mean to judge them. I just feel sorry that both me and them share these memories which are very sad moments of my childhood. Now I know for sure what I WON'T be doing to MY own kids.
My father is an actual psychopath. He abused my mother, called my family members names like stupid and worthless, and even bet my other sister with a shoe to near-death once (and yes, he's really sexist). He causes tantrums and complains about the slightest of problems when it comes to things like food. The only good thing he does is buy us what we want to get. I wish he could just disappear from my life forever but he keeps coming to my house once a week on Friday and I don't know how to make it stop. I'm only 13 but I wanna know, is there anything I can do to stop seeing him?
Call the cops or get help from your school counselors i know it's not the best advice. I'm sorry you have to go through this and i hope things have gotten better since you posted this.
1. We never huge in our house not even when I was a child.
2. What interaction?
3. No, I just do what my mom says.
4. I have an Autistic brother so I don't have time to spend with her.. plus she has work.
5. I just sit crying while Im yelled at.
6. What she says goes.
7. What's boundaries?
8. This is ok but I have to have straight A's.. no A- or im grounded. Perfection is an expectation.
My parents want nothing to do with me. Not then as a teen, not now as an adult. If I try/tried any of this I’d either get smacked, insulted, both or probably worse.
My dad is a lost father and I do what ever I can to make home happy out of pity.... I hope this will help me cheer him up
I know a lot of this is meant for mentally healthy people but I find that some of this is not manageable. I have brothers who think it’s a good idea to fight all the time so if I get stuck in the car with them, if I want to stay happy I have to tune everyone out.
I would totally hug my parents more if I wasn’t becoming touch averse and I wish I liked being touched. But I don’t. Not because it isn’t “cool”, I don’t give a heck about socially cool stuff. But because touch makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe there should be videos on relationships with teens that have mental disorders like anxiety, depression etc. That would do me some good.
Wow I feel exactly the same
Who else is watching this video after having a big argument with ur parent but you want to have a better relationship with them?
No offense to this video as I know to meant to help but, not all parents are created equal. I’m sure there are many people that aren’t comfortable hugging a parent daily due to mental or physical abuse. It’s not always possible to talk to a gaslighting parent about your feelings as they turn into the victim. There are videos on this channel that DO talk about dealing with those kinds of parents and that’s amazing! However, if there is a parent that has no motivation, no self esteem, and thinks it is too late to fix themselves, how does one fix that? If the parent is taking out their own struggles on the child and refuses to acknowledge that, how do you help? I’m not sure if I’m making much sense with how I’m wording this. I’d love to see a video/videos on helping a parent realize their toxic behavior in a healthy way that doesn’t cause them to lose even more motivation to fix themselves. Back to my original point, not all parents understand these concepts and refuse to accept that their behavior is toxic.
Lord I hope I can be a good mom to my mini. I don’t want a repeat of my childhood
Its kinda sad to me that i searched up “How to get closer to your mom” Me and my mom never got along, we argue so much and i just wish i could stop arguing with her and just be close to her like other daughters and mothers
I was crying knowing that my dad hates me. My mom asked my dad if he loves me while he was drunk and he never lies when hes drunk he said "who will love a ugly ass disappointment" my heart broke i dont wanna live anymore i wanna go back to the days where my dad loved me, where i had fun with him now its just hatred that he has for me i honestly don't wanna live anymore. I know im not the best daughter he wanted, but i love him it just breaks me seeing him say he hates me.
I have a really good relationship with my mom, but that's probably because we had to learn to tolerate each other because it's just the two of us XD
5:36 -
" Thats not normal! "
" Why don't you try!? "
-My dad..
I was crying while watching this, because of that how bad my and my dads relationship is.... Its been 5 months since I have seen him..
Thank you for tips.
For everyone who is seeing this just remember that god has amazing plans for you and that you are never alone
Same to You
amen 🥺
Love seeing comments like these
Also pls capitalise the G in God please ❤️
I was always caught up looking for what my parents did wrong, when I should have tried better to fit in the family. I hope I can still turn this around sooner than later.
I have a dysfunctional family 😂
I'm the glue holding it together.
I'm the shield for my lil sis.
I'm dying inside,nobody cares bout me.
Even when I care bout all of them!!!
Oh... How are the things now?
i have a good relationsship with my mother, but my dad and stepmom are the most toxic people i've ever met. scream at everything i do, and they think that i'm just going to respect them, when they don't respect me at all. my self esteem is basically non-existing when i'm at their house
Thank you for this video! I love my family (my parents and little sister) to death, but lately I just don't know how to approach them, and I feel that I am being toxic. I want to learn to enjoy time with my family again.
+ 2347033380341..Write the professional who helped you on WhatsApp ..... you will get the result as quickly as possible ..
🌈🌈🌈
ugh, lets just hope that one day my parents watching see this video. they always shut me down right at the time i want to talk about what i want
Huu, this is the pure opposite of my mom and I.
I came here because earlier, I had an argument with my mom, because my brother and I started spitting hurtful words to each other INFRONT of our MOTHER, and when I tried to just stay quiet and mind my own business to avoid such drama, my brother kept telling me such words, until I was hurt with that one word he said, I asked my mother to atleast discipline him or something, well she did, but we all knew it wasn't enough for my little brother to stop talking, and my brother still didn't stop, Im a short-tempered person, and... I hit my brother (I know Im immature Im sorry I wasn't thinking straight), and ofcourse, my mother got mad at me and disciplined me, I said that why didn't she discipline him better and I wouldn't have hitted him if she did it right. But all this time, I was still in the wrong, I said " Why is he ALWAYS the victim?! " and after some more unrespectful words and glares I gave my mother, I realized.. I was still in the wrong. I did know that I was the wrong one all those years I've spent with my family, but I just said " I might be in the wrong because they cannot understand me "
But it was false.. It was all SELF-PITY, and now.. Our family is gonna be torn into pieces soon, I'll be sent to my REAL Father and my brother will stay with my step-father (which is my lil bros real father), and my mom will make a way of her own.. I don't want those things to happen.. But it was all because of me, I LOVE my mother, I LOVE my lil brother, but even tho I tried showing them how I loved them.. Some things never change.. Im still as horrible.. I hate myself for it.. I can't talk to my mother one-on-one because I don't think she ever wants those kinds of talks and it will just trigger what bad things had happened and she'll be mad at me again.. Im sorry, you can hate what I had done, I understand it because I know I've been such a bad daughter, but can I ask y'all fow an advice and how can I fix my family? I really don't want to be seperated with them.. Thankyou for reading.. ❤
I don't want hugs
Ale Titan
*Hugs* neither do I but dey nice sometimes so D£@L with it bruh!
XD lol
Too bad, three hugs a day minimum for you otherwise you'll get scurvy.
─=≡Σ((( つ ◕o◕ )つ
Lol wtf
Same, I never really hug my family because it's really weird and makes me uncomfortable.. maybe something is wrong with me 😥
1. I tried to hug my mom for a while, but she just saw it as weird
2. every time I tried to talk to my mom she was on the computer and when I asked her to stop being on the computer while I talk yo her she got really annoyed
3. every time I tried to ask for advice she just either said exactly what to do and if I didn't agree dismissed everything and just said do what you want to do, which I found very unhelpful
4. When I tried to spend some time with her she always were busy or not in the mood, the moment she wanted to do something and I couldn't it was my fault for not wanting to spend time with her.
5. oh yeah, many emotions were shut down. Pretty sure that's why I have some serious emotional problems
6. if she listened at all she always had to make it about herself, so yeah
7. oh wow, one she actually did. yeah, if there's something I really appreciate is that my mom did respect my boundaries.
8. oh, another one she was actually trying to do, well, considering she didn't pay enough attention to what I did in the first place was really weird to me and I always felt like she didn't mean it
cool
I wish my parents could see this and I guess act on it ...
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for all your gratuitous efforts and the psychological help you provide us. Please keep up the great work , you're truly changing lives ....
I would like to get more hugs, i think she think i'm big for that and i don't need them, we just talk and sometimes it's difficult to show my real emotions, so i don't feel enough confident i guess
My channel is all about Parenting this I need to review videos like this from time to time. Very true information. Love your channel
*reads number 1*
Nope.
I always want to hug them.
Once I was hugging my mom and she used it against me on how I should do better with knowledge and schools so that I could earn a hug.
So apparently I need to do something for some damn comfort
bruh why tf did i say this lmaaoooo
I just turned 13 and I feel like crying all the time. I have excruciating headaches and I feel like my heart will explode. I try to talk to my mum but she doesn’t listen and I want us to love each other as much as possible. Please help
Me too. No one trusted me
i always tell my dad to turn off the tv or to stop using his phone when we’re eating meals but he doesn’t :((
my mom outright said that there’s probably no fixing our relationship and she said “it is what it is.” i’m 13. i love her and i want a good relationship but she doesn’t feel the need to change anything