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Is there a way for you to discuss about starting a relationship sometime after your significant other passes? I've been meaning to understand how I can start a relationship, even after a traumatic loss. I'm sure there are others who want to know this type of topic than just me.
@@angelic_writer I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm sure this is a great topic that many can relate to. I hope Psych2Go makes a video on this topic. Sending you so much love ❤
In summary: 1) Stop obsessing over finding the perfect mate. No one is. 2) Don't be selfish. 3) Don't be a pushover. 4) Stop comparing every potential partner to the previous one. You're depriving yourself of finding happiness with another. 5) Know your worth and be willing to walk away at any sign of trouble early on. Solid advice here.
Exactly this, some peoples obsession with the idea of being in a relationship.m well I have found that kind of desperation will only seek to scare others away.
@@isqueakifyousqueeze4714 yess in other terms, the relationship gets toxic over time if not fixed. I had a friend who's always in a toxic relationship and I'm telling you that i stopped listening to their stories long ago, it's too much that i feel like I'm the one suffocating for them.
@@OrangeDragon04 She's been my first relationship and I hope I can keep in contact with her once I go to study to her city, even if we stay as just friends, but anyway I didn't want to end our relationship that way just because I began to overthink and doubt her and myself... Don't say you'll die alone and unloved, I'm sure you'll find a partner one day that will love you as much as you'll love them ❤️
This video inspired me to finally ask my boyfriend if "is everything alright between us?". We talked about the problems we've had with eachother, and it was a real eye opener, because I didn't even know that I was hurting him with some of the stuff I was doing. If anyone else is feeling is going thru a period like this, try to talk it out with your partner. It might seem scary at first, but you'll thank yourself later.
@@charcoal8 depends on your pov. For some it's worse to be alone for your whole life (hey there🤠👏) while some find it worse to not find a lasting/good relationship. I don't judge what's worse, you have to decide for yourself. Nonetheless best of luck to you, your soul mate will come one day
0:05 Checking off the Boxes 1:22 Making it all about you 2:35 Making it all about them 3:40 Allowing your EX to influence you 5:12 Overlooking red flags
Man these people who keep asking why and how they got here while they aren't in a relationship... There's nothing wrong with educating urself for Ur future relationship, period.
I actually relate to number 2 a lot.... not just romantically but with my friendships too. I feel this constant need to earn my keep and make myself worth my their time. Im constantly apologizing to everything and center my life around their schedules and what they need. When my attempts fail to cheer them up I feel like a failure and fear they will leave me in favor of someone different.
DUDE ME TOO!! but instead they actually left ._. to be honest, I don't even know exactly how to fix it T^T I don't wanna be that kind of person. although, I do really hope things go well for you with your relationships and friends :) best of luck avoiding the issue! ...i mean from it popping up again and there be no change ^^"
Me too. But it seems like all my friendships are completely one-sided. I rarely if ever get asked by friends if we want to do something together. Because of that i also center my life around the time schedules of others. I don't really fear that my friends could leave me for someone else, because i know they will do it, because many already did in the past. Because of that, I stopped having close friendships and have instead many not really close friendships. This way I'm not hurt anymore if they stop being friends with me because they are easily replaceable. Overall, not great, but better than loosing close friends every once in a while. I often have the feeling that I'm just to nice to other people.
I love how this videos, the way they’re explained is from a perspective where YOU can be the toxic person, or the one that has toxic behaviors. Instead of looking for toxic behaviors in your partner, as if other people could be toxic but not yourself. Everybody has to take accountability and responsibility for their actions! This video is great thank you :)
@@hamzagameplayer just because someone is toxic doesnt mean theyre not aware or trying to better themselves. I see some of these habits in myself but im trying to get better and become a better person and partner
I am sure you will find someone. But please still watch out for the bad people you deserve someone tgat respects you and there are enough people that will :)
Even someone with partner could feel lonely sometimes. Even married couple feels lonely sometimes. I know it's hard, but try to learn to be happy in your own company.
@@rubyjulivre1136 as someone who has trust issues and is scared of relationships im quite content with myself but sometimes wonder what it feels like to have someone hahaha
I always knew I'd been WAAAAAAY too giving and selfless. I realized though, I simply can not support that kind of lifestyle. After a while, I began to almost resent the people I help. But then I realized, they aren't even asking for my help or overabundance of selflessness. Though they seriously and deeply appreciate it. I don't SHOULDN'T do those things if it is affecting my mental and financial health. My gf brought this to light once and it completely changed my perspective on myself. I always had this delusion that I it is simply my purpose to please everyone; never mess up, and when you do mess up, beat yourself up over it and never forgive yourself. I'm glad I moved on from that awful mindset. I feel so much more like an individual being than the robot I was before.
Me too, it got so bad that I'd get hurt over little things but wouldn't say anything because I thought he would cut himself. Then a few months later I snapped at him and then he ghosted me until I did something really crazy.
I'm still that way, my boyfriend has been trying to get me out of it. I once recalled a time in middle school. A boy asked me for gum and I said no. I felt awful after saying that so everytime he was distracted I'd put a piece of gum on his desk. went through a whole pack.
i messed my relationship up being this way and ultimately it’ was the root of so many other problems i also had in our relationship and now i’m just trying to change out of being that way :/
Used to be similar with my ex. Pretty much always thinking about her first to the point where i felt lost when stuff was left up to me. Im surprised to hear it’s linked to depression and exhaustion as it was the other way around for me, if left on my own without restriction i d do the bare minimum to stay alive and would kill the time til I was tired again when i wasn’t lying in bed.
I've never been in a relationship but I'm taking notes😅: 1. Relationships are unique and when you love someone, you love them for who they are, not by what you want or like about them. 2. Relationships are composed of two people loving each other, it shouldn't be a one-sided thing. 3. Never let your past affect the present. If you've broken up with someone, you have to move on first, the past is just a reflection of who we were and what we used to be, it mustn't linger in the present. 4. Never overlook red flags, things that trouble you and your partner, it can be toxic and end up hurting you both. Hopefully I can use these when I finally meet someone I can love, I know it wouldn't be perfect but hey, nothing in this world is, we make mistakes and in the end, as long as we make up for it, we'll be alright 😊❤️
Open communication and trust are vital for any relationship too, not just romantic. This can take work, all relationships take work, both have to put that effort in Taking responsibility is vital for anyone to grow too. Responsibility for your actions, feelings, and the consequences of those And of course respect. And if they don't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you We also think that the healthiest relationships aren't always about being in a relationship, you have to be good friends with your partner. And be able to just chill with them without it being about the relationship
It can be perfect if you choose to look at it through clear eyes and wear your flaws on your sleeves and encourage HONESTY AND COMMUNICATION.。Genuinely I love what you said but I have an edit if you don't mind。Pay attention to how it is that you love because the past can stay in the past but if you never healed from older or current love wounds, then you can unconsciously do it to others and receive it again from others and stems from basic people relationships and your love for self 。In a perfect relationship you WILL get triggered。But learning how to form your boundaries and mold your idea of love in the process of being triggered will help you and your partner be more powerful than you can ever imagine。Saying nothing is perfect is just the world way of saying we can't。Perfection is attainable when you can see all things clearly and still feel and experience love and happiness on a daily basis and you BOTH are clearly growing from it。I also fully encourage (way before you fall in love with the love of your life, cuz it's coming soon), to become well acquainted with God and get to know more of yourself with him because He is the cherry on top。Heed my warning Love without Faith is dead and in order to truly have faith in yourself you have to have faith in the Divine or you and your partner will split and you won't know, because it was perfect right? You are already more perfect than you realize but you won't know you're a God unless GOD lets it TRULY be known to you。。。by giving you more power。Okay I'm out。✌ ☮ 🕊 💖
@@GodYermonia wow happened to me... perfect relationship, yet I lost touch with God and that perfect relationship turned into rubbish: "Heed my warning Love without Faith is dead and in order to truly have faith in yourself you have to have faith in the Divine or you and your partner will split and you won't know, because it was perfect right? You are already more perfect than you realize"
Haha cant wait for you to find someone and realise relationships are 1000x times more complex than any video shows it. Its worth it with the right person doe!! Good luck!
I saw a lot of these in myself. I needed to take a breath and power through the mix of feelings hearing this gave me. My mind wanted to make me feel attacked, I had to remind myself that wasn't the case, that I'm here because I believe this is pertinent to me and it was something I DESPERATELY needed to hear. Thank you for helping me change my life around.
Hi everyone I'm Diana. I started writing about myself in comments and alot of people replied with similar stories and great advice🧡 Now I'm out of my abusive relationship.. I'm finally free. I don't feel attached and I'm not scared anymore. I'm slowly gaining back my confidence and fixing my health. I'm grateful for all the support I got even though it was through strangers. #feelingblessed😇
I didn't even know #3 was an issue and now that I do, I'm a huge offender of this one. Not just in romantic relationships either, I spent months practically baby sitting my roommate when he was going through some major mental health issues. It ended up breaking our friendship, and I became resentful of him. Thanks for this video helping me realize my issue!
The part about manipulating the argument to make your partner apologize really hit me. My ex was extremely abusive, our relationship was horrible and this is something eh would do all the time. Started as little things and before i knew it i was always the monster and he was always the poor victime. And just recently, after 3 years of no contact at all, he contacted me again and this honestly confirmed what i thought. He didn't change at all. He says he's "grown and changed so much" and his first message ended with "i want to reconnect with you". Not "maybe there's a chance we could be friends again" or "would you be okay with reconnecting" no. "i want". "i want to reconnect" "i hope i will hear from you". Me me me. As usual it's all about him. Didn't even think about the impact it would have on me. To see him suddenly try to be back into my life after i thought this was behind me and while i'm still trying to fix the damage he's done.
@@Link_Hyrule211 do you still need one? Energy is a good sign. If you feel drained after meeting with a certain person you should look out for a problem. And there is a differnce between what do you feel about a person and how a person make you feel.
That third one hit like a truck for me. At the time, it was only my second relationship or so, and I didn't quite have the whole "give and take" thing down. It got to a point where they started feeling worse about themselves because they couldn't reciprocate, despite me not even wanting them to.
have fun explaining that to overthinkers😅i try not to overthink and worry sometimes but other times when shes not around i constantly think of her then i overthink and feel like shes lost interest or since im on house arrest and we varely see each other shes falling apart from it emotionally and mentally causing her to just really disconnect overthinking and caring abt her is all i do
I actually fit in the number 3 category and i've found out i suffer of anxiety two years ago (which fits the year this video released lol). I've been trying to make this somewhat healthy, trying to think on both of us instead of only her. It's hard, i admit. But i recon that i can't do everything for her and only her because the relationship doesn't involve only her, but both of us. My happiness and hers are linked together. My hint for anyone who's on the same boat as i am is to try and think about that. Your happiness is linked with hers, if you overdo yourself to make them happy, and become exausted in the process, they WILL know, and won't be as happy as you think. It's good stuff guys.
The person I was dating for a while left me because he said he didn't love me anymore. A few weeks went by and I started talking to someone else. I've suffered from depression for years. I have a fear in the back of my head that people will always leave me, but I want this new relationship to work out
I can confirm. Being overly selfless can really take a toll on your mental health and eventually everything just kind of crumples down and you realize you need to focus on yourself
I really hurt my ex because of how selfless I was and it led to major anxiety and depression just like the video said, and I ended up breaking up with her which broke her heart. I feel awful about it but I just was not happy in that relationship but I still feel a sense of guilt whenever I think about it because of how badly I hurt her because of my own problems. Im in a new relationship now and I want to focus on him but sometimes that pain cant help creeping up on me. PLEASE don't be selfless all the time, find a good balance of selflessness and selfishness!
this is why my girl and I constantly have talked about how the relationship is going, whether we go too fat ith a situation or if one of us are not taking care of ourselves properly. we keep the communication up between our walls, even if it's talking about the bad traits to make it better in the long run
I was in a pretty messed up relationship, recently I left him but watching these videos made me realize how horrible he truly was. He would constantly manipulate me, blaming me for shit that wasnt even my fault even when he's in the wrong. And apparently sex is more important to him than the love and affection 💀 . I left that shit real quick and when I told him I was leaving him, he just got mad at me and told me to block em. It just shows that he didn't really cared
I'm sorry to hear that, indeed he was no good, he should love you and appreciate you for who you are, the way you are, the way you smile and laugh, intimacy comes second, when someone likes/loves you they do so because of the things I mentioned earlier, if, like in your case, sex is more important to them that tells me they don't appreciate you for the love and affection you gave them, which is a deal breaker in a relationship. But never feel bad for yourself, you're out of it now and you learned something from that experience, something that will open your eyes in future relationships. I wish you the best, you are strong and capable and worthy of being loved for the way you are.
@@CJohann It was nothing, just thought I'd say something to lift your spirit, thank you for sharing that story btw, I've always advised people, especially guys, to focus on the inside, to love someone for who they are, because that's what matters in the end, the inner beauty that reflects on the outside, that's everlasting, that's what keeps a relationship together. 😊
Every relationship before you find the “one” depending if you believe in that or not (which I do) should be a learning experience through out. If you are going to be in a relationship for a while, you might as well learn from it. Everything in life leads you to be who you are this very second. Some of us make repeated mistakes and that’s okay as long as we are gradually learning. Amazing video! Glad I found this channel!
This video absolutely showed me that me AND my partner are doing very fine in our relationship. We talk about problems, we both know our self-worth and nobody is talking about past experiences too often or better said, in inappropriate situations. 🙏🏻
She just left me for another guy after dating for 3 yrs, i gave her my all. She wanted marriage and i promised her we were still on that track despite the fact i llsy my job then and got a better one but she still left. I wanna experience a real loyalty from a soulmate.
I definitely did a 180 and had a completely different person, yet I was just too shy to really take the lead. I also tried to do everything for the other person. But thanks to you guys I got over it all and started to love myself and to acknowledge that I am worth. Thanks for all of that😊 Please keep going! And the voice actor is just great. You have such a calming voice… Lots of love to you all
@@marcusgotosleep4853 you need space, space is the only way to see if they realizes that you're important. At the end of the day you have to be ready to walk away from anything that hurts you.
This either or pattern has not born fruit in my experience. You must find someone who truly identifies with you on a fundamental level. Otherwise they can never understand, and without understanding they cannot appreciate what and why you are. And vice versa. When things get hard, and they will, we all need a level of empathy that can only come from our own experiences.
Goes to a man as well :) you are saying good quotes but I would suggest you using word “person” instead of “girl” , because boys can do as much harm as well :) Namaste
I think having boxes to check when dating is a good thing, as long as your boxes are all deal breakers in a partner, and not superficial. When I was dating, I had "soft boxes" that were all signs indicative of good character (and then a couple tier 2 boxes, ironically "likes to cook" was one) which I put together after my first relationship, because I wanted to hold my future partner to a higher standard than the last. My current partner of 1 year ticked ALL the boxes almost immediately, and we're still going strong today. :)
Also after my experience, I call BS on the "the perfect person doesn't exist" rhetoric. They probably do exist (unless your perfect person is genuinely a lovebot who will never speak a word against you). And you probably won't meet them until you respect yourself, and solidify your dating standards.
@@johnmachenzie1613 Everything in my first comment is still true (still in the same relationship, it has lasted 3 years now, it is even stronger now than it was when I wrote that comment). My second comment I would probably amend - there is probably way more than 1 "perfect person" for the average person, but it is unlikely you will meet many of them. I would also add that I have come to see the value in the pure grit and determination of "making a relationship work". Both parties need to be fully on board and committed, no "if"s "and"s or "but"s. This is almost as - or arguably even more important than - having all your boxes checked off.
my boyfriend said he'd leave me for his celebrity crush if he got the chance and it makes me feel second rate edit: so he ended up leaving me for another girl :) edit 2: so he ended up leaving the girl he left me for after dating for like a day and now he's with another girl in conclusion, he's a really fucked up guy
Probably something that he should have kept to himself, but realistically, It's never going to happen, although I understand the sentiment being you are not his #1 choice, whether it could happen is irrelevant.. It's the idea. But I mean.. To throw in a little hypothetical, if your celebrity crush miraculously came up to you tomorrow and said "be mine" would you say no? I personally wouldn't want a serious relationship with any celebrity, the difference in background/fame that comes with that is not for me and I imagine them to all be vain to a fault but.. Id wager most people would if given the opportunity. Don't let it affect your relationship with him if its otherwise healthy, and don't punish honesty. Best of luck.
@@trollkiller1008 if my celebrity crush or any long-term crush I had randomly made me choose between my gf and them ik who I'm choosing. It's my gf. She's been there for me through really hard times and yes she's long distance yes it sucks being long distance but I never had a rekatship as healthy and happy as the one I have now. If you would drop someone for some famous person that probably has a lot of problems you never really loved that person your with
People will say it's his fault but honestly? That happened to me and after a long time I understood that the problem was how I treated myself. He probably meant as a joke, it's never gonna happen and if given the chance, he would choose you because of intimacy and feelings. What I meant by "it's how I treated myself" is about your own confidence. You were hurt by that because at your current state, you're probably the one with a low self esteem, therefore a joke hurts you. Yeah, that's harsh, but it happened to me and that's what I realized. When I let go of seriousness and started giving myself a bit more of love, I started being able to see when people were trying to hurt me or if it wasn't their intention. Talk it out with him but also realize your own feelings.
Healthy boundaries are essential. Being able to be honest inwardly is just as important as it is to be honest outwardly. Truthfully, I am guilty of some self centered behaviors and have dishonestly concealed many RedFlags in order to overlook my faults. Is this a double whammy or what?
Dont conceal them. Either work on them and improve yourself or wear them on your sleeve. The only thing a man hates more than a bad woman is one who lied and said she was good.
I had a bit of an epiphany lately when I realised that being scared that a relationship could end doesn't make you more likely to make the relationship work and ruins the happiness that you already share. I realised I couldn't fix every aspect of my own behaviour with the goal of ensuring a perfect relationship, only look at our *mutual* happiness as the goal. It's made me feel much more at peace about enjoying and cherishing my relationship now.
Three things we all want in a relationship: Eyes that do not Cry; Lips that do not Lie; and Love that will never Die. A great relationship is about appreciating the similarities and respecting the differences. But today, telePhone batteries last longer than most relationships 🖖
Art style is good, also thank your team for teaching me a lot about mental health. I went through lots of abuse thinking it was “just a part of growing up” but yeah.
Video: What's the first word that comes to mind when you hear "EX". Me: ...Cat.....? Video: **grows eyes and looks at me in confusion** Me: I can explain-
@@lunamadz1983 my exboyfriend despised his own name, so he decided to go by Neko, and that means cat in japanese. You weren't expecting an actual explanation did ya? ;)
Being in a relationship is a sure way to ruin it. Friends and lovers never stay together. In order to soaew myself the pain of separation, I simply have chosen to have neither friends nor a lover.
My main concern still is, when I’m really depressed, is I’ll be yelled at, blamed for everything when i did nothing, called clingy and needy. My fiancé and I ask each other what we want to do, and sometimes we both don’t know
A key to a successful relationship is having a healthy social circle outside of the relationship. Your partner shouldnt be your go to for everything, that being said they shouldnt run away at any time of struggle either. Balance is important
Hey Psych2Go.. your content is helping me with what to do and how I can help myself with depression. I love your content and I appreciate the hard work
I said a big yikes at #3. I didn't know that you could actually be overly caring but, I fit the bill according to the description in the video. I've thought about it before, and have tried to force myself to try to learn to give my partner space because I know I may be overly attached, I just kept given myself the excuse "It's okay, you're in love, this is normal".. but uh, note taken ✍🏾😅
The ex question was interesting for me: I am always expecting my new partner prospect to hate what I do, or to say I should not do things that I like. And wen she doesn’t I’m surprised for a second, but I inevitably think “she don’t like me enough, that is why she does not force her opinions on me”.
Well as someone who has not yet been in a relationship, I can only see myself doing number 3. But I already have anxiety and depression so were all good.
Definitely guilty of #1, ticking off the boxes! I was afraid of making a bad choice, and I thought all these “boxes” showed I had standards and that I knew what I wanted. Guess what? I finally found someone who “ticked all the boxes”, and I couldn’t be happier! However, I almost messed it all up! I was in such a mode of analyzing whether she was healthy for me, that I was constantly questioning and commenting and assessing and observing, and I was too uptight. What’s more, it made this wonderful person I was with feel nitpicked, doubted, mistrusted, disrespected, and judged! And…she was right! I had to let all that go to enjoy the wonderful person she is, for exactly who she is, and not some person devoid of “red flags”. She works with me, has great empathy, and cares deeply about me and others. Things are going great now that I’ve stopped trying to “figure it all out” because I’m afraid and projecting my own self-criticism!
Take the time to understand your past, any traumas, the relationship you grew up around whether that was your parents or not and what impression of love did that give you? Once you know those things you can reshape any limiting beliefs.
Thank you for this. I screenshotted it to keep it for when I need that reminder. I never got real love, parents included, until I got in my first relationship with my friend of 5 years at the time. It was such a shock to me to learn what love felt like. It made me realize how bad my homelife is and it was extremely overwhelming. Beautiful but also very hard. I don't know how dependent is too dependent, I never had someone to depend on and always had to do stuff on my own. I grew up around hostility and had to brush it off so much, now I don't know how to react to being mistreated. Or if I'm even being mistreated. So, we decided to break up. I need to figure that stuff out and he needs to figure his own stuff out too. I still love him, but I know I need to work on my trauma and find a balance.
@@moniqueortiz4489 You're welcome, glad i could help. I really respect what you've done here, commenting all of that is a difficult, vulnerable thing to do, you should congratulate yourself for that! That must of been a really tough situation for you, fair play for doing the right thing and taking the time to work on yourself. Trauma and how it affects us in the present is a complex subject and my personal opinion is that therapy is always the best route. I wish I could help more but it's difficult in a comment section and I haven't really posted any videos about trauma on my channel, but I would recommend checking out 'the holistic psychologist', 'Julia Kristina counselling' and 'julienhimself'. Those are the channels on UA-cam I think could be useful:) I will say though try to understand that you will get over any hurt you feel from leaving that relationship, the world is abundant and you will find a truly happy relationship. I think inner child work and building self love and self trust are probably going to be the main things that help you the most. 'How to do the work' by Nicole Lapera could be a really helpful book. Whatever route you take it sounds like you're a strong person with a drive to improve yourself and that only leads to good things, I hope everything goes well for you 😊
Very good and wise advice. Although it can take a lifetime to heal yourself of some of these things sometimes and it's really rough going it alone. Having someone there to support you in your healing journey can be a wonderful boost as well...
@@TakeBackYourMind997 Thank you so much for responding, I hadn't seen it till now! I appreciate your recommendations and hope everything goes well for you too ❤
@@EveInTheMachine Very true ❤ Me and the friend I spoke of are still supporting each other every step of the way, just not while being in a relationship because sadly it wasn't working out. So we stuck to what we do best, being best friends to each other 😊 We've been friends for almost a decade now and we both agreed we weren't going to let that go.
I'm so glad my relationship is amazing. 💖💖 we weren't always like this. We really had to work hard on a lot of things in the beginning, but now we're smooth sailing. We're the oldest couple in our friend groups! Either way, I can't see us ever getting a divorce. I luff him to bits 😍😍
Whenever I had a breakup I always tried to learn what I did wrong and when I did, I gained one piece of info of a do or don't. Even when I was the one who broke up with them, I learned something. It was a bit hard for me at times when I missed some of my ex's, but I knew that it wouldn't work. So I plan to move on and hang with this one girl to just talk and get to know each other. Your videos are the best at helping people learn things and have a safe space for when others need it. Keep doing what you're doing and have an amazing day.
0:06 checking off the boxes 1:22 making it all about you 2:35 making it all about them 3:42 allowing your ex to influence you 5:13 overlooking red flags
I’ve seen many of your videos on relationships already. I think I’m ready get back out there now, bet there’s a few single ladies who’d be happy to have a guy like me around. Let’s just hope... I don’t get too full of myself again & make up anxious problems that aren’t really there.
Sounds like you need a therapist before trying to date again. I was the same and it turns out I had a lot of trauma to work through. Still working through it tbh
This video really did open my eyes to some things in my current relationship, especially 3 and 4. I’m glad i’m watched this because now i can better work on myself and my relationship. Thanks :)
I feel that being controlling in the relationship might not always be intentional. If one partner tends to be good at taking charge, and the other is rather passive and happy to just go with the flow, then the first person might always be the one making the decisions. Its not that their partner can't chime in if they have something specific they want, they just choose not to. Speaking from experience, I'm the one who's usually doing all the decision making.
I mean , it "Can" be a healthy thing for some it just depends. If they're not being assholes or talking he person down, some people WANT that in a relationship and flourish better when someone else takes charge. as long as nobody is suffering and both parties are loving and happy its not anyone else's bizz but they own and others can poop off o3o lol. its when they become asses and stuff that it becomes a problem
Traditionally thats the role of the man, to lead. Ill get called a misogynist for this but thats how it should be. A relationship works when a man is happy with himself and a woman respects the man. A key part of having your woman respect you is not letting her dictate everything you do
what I got from this was my greatest skills, taking emotional beatings, extreme patience, and willingness to go above and beyond aren't tools I can use to my advantage. That list on how not to be a pushover I've done all of that for FRIENDS. Back to square 1 I guess
Honestly this video made me feel a lot better about myself. I was feeling like I was doing some things wrong but this made me realize that the balance between giving and taking, and being selfish and selfless is a pretty healthy balance in my relationship:) thanks psych2go I love your videos!
@@omonas9681 You don't get me. I am not the type of Person for romantic relationships because the responsibility that I'll have is too much for me and I don't know what's right and what's wrong. And there is also the part that I don't want to come too close with someone. Like my family for example. I've been forced to live with an strict and mean stepfather for 15 fricking years of my fricking life. I know some kids might have been suffering more but this man belongs to those a**hole stepfathers as well. And I have a lot of reasons why I blame him for me to not wanting to have a girlfriend... For not wanting to have a family on my own... For not suffering the same amount of family problems and for me distancing myself from my own founded family like I did to the family I came from and I was born in. These are only some aspects I listed on here, there would be a few more.
Listen carefully man.. in this life, god have destined for us family, we are so proud to have them, we need to unconditionally love them, we appreciate them more than our selves, BUT exepct if they dont love us and they hate us, in that case we just pray to them just for god, you have choice to hate them or like them , but you can just like them and forgive them for GOD. You said we' ve got so much responsbility for them, yes we need to work hard for true love that how true love work, true love isnt receiving good emotional feelings but giving a part of your heart to them and feeling those emotions at the same time, likewise your wife or girl friend, there is a girl destined for you ( if you looking for a proply passionate love ) yes there is some ppo who's not romantic but that doesnt mean to not ignore the resppnsibility , the hardwork is more than being romantic 100x time, you need to get into the complications and battle it firstly for god and secondly for your gf, i think the situation you are in will pay off in the future as a person who truly loves you but only if you seek for loving your loved ones proply and work hard for them. I cant give you an advice for your step father but just have passion and pray to him for God. I seek god to help you and hope you understand me.
@@omonas9681 As a Christian by myself I appreciate your help. Thank you, but since I considered myself as aromatic and asexual I don't think there is a way to change my love interest. I mean you can't force someone who loves a person with the same gender to stop that so that they can love someone with the opposite Gender.
I think one of the biggest issues I’ve seen in some of my friends, and myself(especially when you have a crush) is that you don’t actually like them, you like the idea of them. Idk if it helped anyone but if I did I’m glad to help. It’s helped me a lot.
Same here. But the good thing is when you become aware you can really work to change things. I talked to my partner and owned up to the things I was doing and now I work every day at making sure to change my bad behaviour. And we are much better for it.
@@afabulousmegalodon5781 it honestly takes a lot. You gotta admit that to yourself first and it's hard. Saying "I do toxic stuff the person I love is not an easy thing." Then I admitted it to him. And from there I made the promise to change my behavior. After that it was a matter of checking all of my interactions with him to make sure I wasn't going back to normal patterns. It took a lot of will power and control at first but now it's easier. I talk about it with him a lot too.
I just got out of a 3 year long relationship, and it was also long distanced. it happens in April because I felt like I was slowly being put off or I wasn't worth being talked to, I get that not everyone second of the relationship has to be so full of love, and I have my partner time to breathe and to take a break, but for two months of me having to start the conversation, asking if she's been ok, how's school, stuff like that, I'm giving and closed ended responses; no,good, i ate, ok. I felt like I was talking to myself something's because of how many times she just didn't respond. and when I tried to pry her open to see if there was a big issue, she would everything was fine. and I trusted her, until I saw that she was more comfortable with others, and I felt like a bad partner not knowing whats going on with them. I felt ignored, like I was boring, I tried all I could do, but felt like I wasn't enough, and its not like this the first time it's happened.. once I broke it off, she didn't bother asking why, not even asking if I was okay, just letting it happen. she was never an unlovable person, or rude or mean. she just dealt with a lot of trauma and I couldn't blame her from it, but that just proves that none of us are in a capable state for a relationship especially long distanced. I see now from the outside that I was a bit selfless from her to stay happy, taking the blame for her bad day even thought I had nothing to do with it. and I was so dependent on her, my happiness came from her happiness, and I would stare at my phone just to get a message from her, or stay up late to talk to her because we had different time zones, it came to a point to when I felt.. alone, she was no longer interested in me if I didn't get a message. I realized this, and herd from other close friends ive talked to about this that, it's always been like that, from the outside looking in, this was a cycle. we had a phase of love,overwhelming feelings, these highs that were so addicting that we fulled our relationship this way, instead also facing the hard sad moments for the relationship, that we had to talk about. but we never did because I was scared I may make her runaway from me, or she won't like my opinion she'd get mad and leave me.the phase of me agreeing to not speak on the problems in fear, I'd loose my only source of happiness(at the time), and letting her ignore me for months until she wants to talk to me, and ignore my friends because I want to keep talking to her or, not go to certain gatherings because she wants to call and face time, I valued the moments she was happy and willing to participate in the relationship like gold because, it was hard to get her to have talk to me after sad moments. then repeat for three and a half years. I'm happy I got out, and even though I still think on how I could have been better, if neither of us do anything it won't make the relationship stronger.
I went through a similar situation. Her trauma, depression etc made her be rather mean sometimes. I decided to give her what she gave me. That was a bad call. Why? I did it for a year. The "do unto others as they do to you" only works on ppl that have insight and if you do it for a long time, you will become bitter and resentful. I was also very selfless and hence i got mad/sad that i didnt get the same. Sometimes i would express myself and she would get defensive. Point is, i felt the same as you. She left me for her childhood best friend. I feel your pain.
Let me info dump you :You know guys,i messed up. I had this girl which i loved very much for years. She suffered from depression anxiety, and panic attacks. Her constant "shit life" caused her to be in a bad mood most of the time. I was always there for her. ALWAYS. I was, without a doubt the primary emotional caretaker and i did not mind. I loved to lift my girl up Nonetheless, i grew tired of her bad mood, her disrespects. I knew it wasnt because of me, but regardless she always talked to me in a bad tone and such. As such, i decided to do the same to her. If she was gonna talk to me that way and be in a bad mood with me, i was gonna do it to her. I thought she would see how her actions werent nice...but that only works on ppl that have insight and emotional intelligence. Where did i mess up? I applied this tactic for a year. This ended up in constant fights and almost tears everyday. I would sometimes cry with her and pass the sleepless nights with her because i didnt want her to cry. Sometimes she cried because i expressed myself and sometimes i said "if your gonna talk to me like that, i dont want to talk to you". Part of me always made excuses for her attitudes, "oh, her family treats her like shit, shes always busy, shes poor and wants to kill herself, etc." I always felt bad about the fights because her attitude wasnt coming from her pure heart, but due to her surroundings. I in the other hand, grew bitter and did the things i perceived from her back on purpose. It was also a bad time in my life: dad lost like 80 pounds due to cancer, my dog died in my hands and i was exhausted with my physic's master's degree. I messed up. I always wanted her to get help from a psychologist to deal with her emotional trauma and whatnot and also i wanted to go to a couple's therapist to serve as a mediator to help us communicate better. She said she was too busy for that. She was always too busy. Even for annual doctor appointments. At the end, the constant fights and tears made her break up with me and understandably soo. She ended up with her childhood best friend who always had a crush on her and she once got drunk, a year before meeting me, and confessed to the dude but he was taken at that time. Morale of the story and life lesson for me: never ever give back the energy you think the other person is giving you. It is definitely fair, but it will poison and bitter your otherwise kind heart. Its been a year since we broke up and I think theyve been official for like 6-8 months. If he is indeed the one for her (given their history, i bet he is), even though he is also a depressive guy like her, i wish her the happiest life i could not give her at the moment. We had amazing chemistry, and she knew me like an open book and vice versa. If he is not the one for her, i pray to God for another meeting down the line of life when we are both more mature and well. For now, im ending my master's degree while she is into her 2.5 year of college, even though we differ by 2 years of age. Sorry for the vent , random strangers. It was also my first love and i regret not knowing more about love before hand.
The thing about the ex realy resonated with me. It's been six months since and that relationship has kinda prevented me from trying again. I deserve better, and it's no good for moping around. Thank you very much!
u just confirmed to me what i already knew, i haven’t completely moved on from my ex, i feel extremely guilty for what happened between us and even tho i didn’t wish we hadn’t broke up, i wish we could’ve done it in better terms, i wanna talk to them one more time, i never told them what was actually happening that made me uncomfortable in our relationship bc i was too ashamed, but i realize i should’ve, but either way he made it clear he doesn’t want to see or talk to me ever again sigh i think i should just wait until i forget it ever happened
Thanks for this video. I've been trying to figure out why I have a hard time staying in a relationship for idk how many years. I would have never guessed being too selfless could be the reason. It makes since now, thank you!
There's no such thing as a fresh start with someone new. Both parties bring ALL of their baggage with them. And no matter how hard someone tries to pack it all away and not "contaminate" the new relationship, eventually it will all spill out of the closet and onto the floor. Can either of you be okay with the Mr Hyde that is bound to resurface? Personally, I have found happiness in being single and with no commitments to anyone. Platonic relationships have worked for me and I am happy with that.
My wife had a lot of things that bugged her over the years and kept it to herself. She let behavior she didn't like about me fester into bitterness. Now we are going to separate. Ive messed up a lot, but feel like it's very difficult to repair this relationship because she wasn't honest with me for years about how she felt. Including intimacy, she apparently doesn't like it, and kept that to herself. Used it to "manage" my mood. While I felt a sense of inadequacy for years not knowing why it felt like we were not connecting on an emotional level during intimacy (my love language is touch and I'm highly empathetic).
i never had fights in my relationship, we had dated for 3 years, and even the breakup was not a fight. So it is possible to have a relationship that way. Of course, we had different opinions, but we were both very good at communicating and not taking things immediately personal. But just listening and looking from their perspective
Hey Pysch2go'ers! I hope your doing okay, I'm here to help you through whatever your going through. So please, commeters, don't agure about how I commeted earlier then the video was published I just want this reply section to be a safe space ❤️
I’m kinda having a toxic sibling relationship right now. She gaslights me all the time but I can’t just get away from her because she lives with me. Please help
I'm trying to be everything for her because I'm just so grateful to have her, and she's been treated so horribly in the past, and I would sacrifice everything for her if it meant keeping her happy. I didn't ever stop to think about how that's affecting my health and well-being. So thank you for stopping me from rolling down that hill. I want to be the best partner I can be for her but I gotta let myself breathe too. ❤
All video revenue makes from this video will get donated to Rise Together for India's campaign before the campaign's end date ua-cam.com/video/N3Hb9FiyN34/v-deo.html Please share and watch the video if you haven't done so yet! So far we have together $600USD from a live stream!
oo
Watching right now and happy to support. We are stronger together!! So much love ❤🇨🇦🇮🇳🇨🇦🇮🇳❤
Oo
Is there a way for you to discuss about starting a relationship sometime after your significant other passes? I've been meaning to understand how I can start a relationship, even after a traumatic loss. I'm sure there are others who want to know this type of topic than just me.
@@angelic_writer I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm sure this is a great topic that many can relate to. I hope Psych2Go makes a video on this topic. Sending you so much love ❤
In summary:
1) Stop obsessing over finding the perfect mate. No one is.
2) Don't be selfish.
3) Don't be a pushover.
4) Stop comparing every potential partner to the previous one. You're depriving yourself of finding happiness with another.
5) Know your worth and be willing to walk away at any sign of trouble early on.
Solid advice here.
indeed
Thank you so much!
Exactly this, some peoples obsession with the idea of being in a relationship.m well I have found that kind of desperation will only seek to scare others away.
@@isqueakifyousqueeze4714 yess in other terms, the relationship gets toxic over time if not fixed. I had a friend who's always in a toxic relationship and I'm telling you that i stopped listening to their stories long ago, it's too much that i feel like I'm the one suffocating for them.
Yeah imma send this to my friend right quick glooks tho
my overthinking mindset is always the downfall of all my relationships :(
This made me screw up in everything and now my ex doesn't want to see/talk to me anymore...
Some of us are ment to die alone and unloved because of this. I'm one of them.
@@OrangeDragon04 She's been my first relationship and I hope I can keep in contact with her once I go to study to her city, even if we stay as just friends, but anyway I didn't want to end our relationship that way just because I began to overthink and doubt her and myself...
Don't say you'll die alone and unloved, I'm sure you'll find a partner one day that will love you as much as you'll love them ❤️
Same and my jealousy and doubting ugh
It's called stop overthinking and put yourself in their shoes . Easy
This video inspired me to finally ask my boyfriend if "is everything alright between us?". We talked about the problems we've had with eachother, and it was a real eye opener, because I didn't even know that I was hurting him with some of the stuff I was doing.
If anyone else is feeling is going thru a period like this, try to talk it out with your partner. It might seem scary at first, but you'll thank yourself later.
This is honestly the sweetest thing I read today
Are you doing any better now? (if you don't mind me asking)
Whenever i ask she just says "yea ofc why r u alr"
Youre a great person @badluacoder9291
Thanks, I really needed to hear about a situation like that
"Think about your past relationships"
Me: *Opens an empty album* Ahh yes, those relationships...
That would be preferable to the narcissistic dumpster fire that is my past relationships. 🙃
@@charcoal8 depends on your pov. For some it's worse to be alone for your whole life (hey there🤠👏) while some find it worse to not find a lasting/good relationship. I don't judge what's worse, you have to decide for yourself. Nonetheless best of luck to you, your soul mate will come one day
@@ottovonbasedmark Thanks 👍
Ha HA HA *underrated comment*
😂😂😂
Point 3 felt like a slap to the face HELP AAAAAA
lol never heard anyone say "it's not about me, it's about you" but I get what they mean haha
Same here OOOOOOF
Didn't expect to see a popular youtuber here!
💀
i feel way too called out omg
0:05 Checking off the Boxes
1:22 Making it all about you
2:35 Making it all about them
3:40 Allowing your EX to influence you
5:12 Overlooking red flags
“First word that comes to mind when you hear Ex”
And I deadass said X-men out loud🤦🏻♂️
You're a cool one 😎
Good job
I low key just said XD
🗿
Xgon give it to ya
Man these people who keep asking why and how they got here while they aren't in a relationship...
There's nothing wrong with educating urself for Ur future relationship, period.
Nah, they’re mostly just attention seekers
@@Thanders96 maybe some are or some are not. We should stop generalizing.
Bestie i'm aromantic
@@Jay-zb1iq mf isnt wrong, majority are
@@magix33 some are. We are not entirely sure if it is in fact mostly. There is no proven data or statistic that proves her assumption is correct.
I actually relate to number 2 a lot.... not just romantically but with my friendships too. I feel this constant need to earn my keep and make myself worth my their time. Im constantly apologizing to everything and center my life around their schedules and what they need. When my attempts fail to cheer them up I feel like a failure and fear they will leave me in favor of someone different.
DUDE ME TOO!! but instead they actually left ._. to be honest, I don't even know exactly how to fix it T^T
I don't wanna be that kind of person. although, I do really hope things go well for you with your relationships and friends :) best of luck avoiding the issue! ...i mean from it popping up again and there be no change ^^"
Me too. But it seems like all my friendships are completely one-sided. I rarely if ever get asked by friends if we want to do something together. Because of that i also center my life around the time schedules of others. I don't really fear that my friends could leave me for someone else, because i know they will do it, because many already did in the past. Because of that, I stopped having close friendships and have instead many not really close friendships. This way I'm not hurt anymore if they stop being friends with me because they are easily replaceable. Overall, not great, but better than loosing close friends every once in a while. I often have the feeling that I'm just to nice to other people.
I love how this videos, the way they’re explained is from a perspective where YOU can be the toxic person, or the one that has toxic behaviors. Instead of looking for toxic behaviors in your partner, as if other people could be toxic but not yourself. Everybody has to take accountability and responsibility for their actions! This video is great thank you :)
as if someone toxic would watch this video at the first place xD
@@hamzagameplayer we be tryna grow too
@@hamzagameplayer toxic people do watch videos like these. They just usually aren’t aware of their own toxicity.
@@hamzagameplayer just because someone is toxic doesnt mean theyre not aware or trying to better themselves. I see some of these habits in myself but im trying to get better and become a better person and partner
@@hamzagameplayer bro, you're watching it
Im not in a relationship but this channel makes me feel like missing someone :3 im so lonely help
I am sure you will find someone. But please still watch out for the bad people you deserve someone tgat respects you and there are enough people that will :)
Loneliness is a normal experience, and something we all share. Fear of being alone or ending-up alone speaks to an issue that can end in codependency.
We definitely need each other in cooperative ways, no question about it.
Even someone with partner could feel lonely sometimes. Even married couple feels lonely sometimes. I know it's hard, but try to learn to be happy in your own company.
@@rubyjulivre1136 as someone who has trust issues and is scared of relationships im quite content with myself but sometimes wonder what it feels like to have someone hahaha
honestly i love having agreements and disagreements in relationships because it gives me a new perspective that i didn’t even think about having
Yeah fr, I haven’t had a romantic relationship before but I could imagine the struggle of being with basically a clone of yourself or a yesman.
I always knew I'd been WAAAAAAY too giving and selfless. I realized though, I simply can not support that kind of lifestyle. After a while, I began to almost resent the people I help. But then I realized, they aren't even asking for my help or overabundance of selflessness. Though they seriously and deeply appreciate it. I don't SHOULDN'T do those things if it is affecting my mental and financial health. My gf brought this to light once and it completely changed my perspective on myself. I always had this delusion that I it is simply my purpose to please everyone; never mess up, and when you do mess up, beat yourself up over it and never forgive yourself. I'm glad I moved on from that awful mindset. I feel so much more like an individual being than the robot I was before.
Me too, it got so bad that I'd get hurt over little things but wouldn't say anything because I thought he would cut himself. Then a few months later I snapped at him and then he ghosted me until I did something really crazy.
I'm still that way, my boyfriend has been trying to get me out of it. I once recalled a time in middle school. A boy asked me for gum and I said no. I felt awful after saying that so everytime he was distracted I'd put a piece of gum on his desk. went through a whole pack.
i messed my relationship up being this way and ultimately it’ was the root of so many other problems i also had in our relationship and now i’m just trying to change out of being that way :/
Used to be similar with my ex. Pretty much always thinking about her first to the point where i felt lost when stuff was left up to me. Im surprised to hear it’s linked to depression and exhaustion as it was the other way around for me, if left on my own without restriction i d do the bare minimum to stay alive and would kill the time til I was tired again when i wasn’t lying in bed.
I've never been in a relationship but I'm taking notes😅:
1. Relationships are unique and when you love someone, you love them for who they are, not by what you want or like about them.
2. Relationships are composed of two people loving each other, it shouldn't be a one-sided thing.
3. Never let your past affect the present. If you've broken up with someone, you have to move on first, the past is just a reflection of who we were and what we used to be, it mustn't linger in the present.
4. Never overlook red flags, things that trouble you and your partner, it can be toxic and end up hurting you both.
Hopefully I can use these when I finally meet someone I can love, I know it wouldn't be perfect but hey, nothing in this world is, we make mistakes and in the end, as long as we make up for it, we'll be alright
😊❤️
Open communication and trust are vital for any relationship too, not just romantic. This can take work, all relationships take work, both have to put that effort in
Taking responsibility is vital for anyone to grow too. Responsibility for your actions, feelings, and the consequences of those
And of course respect. And if they don't respect your boundaries, they don't respect you
We also think that the healthiest relationships aren't always about being in a relationship, you have to be good friends with your partner. And be able to just chill with them without it being about the relationship
Awwwwww ❤️❤️❤️❤️
It can be perfect if you choose to look at it through clear eyes and wear your flaws on your sleeves and encourage HONESTY AND COMMUNICATION.。Genuinely I love what you said but I have an edit if you don't mind。Pay attention to how it is that you love because the past can stay in the past but if you never healed from older or current love wounds, then you can unconsciously do it to others and receive it again from others and stems from basic people relationships and your love for self 。In a perfect relationship you WILL get triggered。But learning how to form your boundaries and mold your idea of love in the process of being triggered will help you and your partner be more powerful than you can ever imagine。Saying nothing is perfect is just the world way of saying we can't。Perfection is attainable when you can see all things clearly and still feel and experience love and happiness on a daily basis and you BOTH are clearly growing from it。I also fully encourage (way before you fall in love with the love of your life, cuz it's coming soon), to become well acquainted with God and get to know more of yourself with him because He is the cherry on top。Heed my warning Love without Faith is dead and in order to truly have faith in yourself you have to have faith in the Divine or you and your partner will split and you won't know, because it was perfect right? You are already more perfect than you realize but you won't know you're a God unless GOD lets it TRULY be known to you。。。by giving you more power。Okay I'm out。✌ ☮ 🕊 💖
@@GodYermonia wow happened to me... perfect relationship, yet I lost touch with God and that perfect relationship turned into rubbish: "Heed my warning Love without Faith is dead and in order to truly have faith in yourself you have to have faith in the Divine or you and your partner will split and you won't know, because it was perfect right? You are already more perfect than you realize"
Haha cant wait for you to find someone and realise relationships are 1000x times more complex than any video shows it. Its worth it with the right person doe!! Good luck!
I saw a lot of these in myself. I needed to take a breath and power through the mix of feelings hearing this gave me. My mind wanted to make me feel attacked, I had to remind myself that wasn't the case, that I'm here because I believe this is pertinent to me and it was something I DESPERATELY needed to hear.
Thank you for helping me change my life around.
Hi everyone I'm Diana.
I started writing about myself in comments and alot of people replied with similar stories and great advice🧡
Now I'm out of my abusive relationship.. I'm finally free. I don't feel attached and I'm not scared anymore. I'm slowly gaining back my confidence and fixing my health. I'm grateful for all the support I got even though it was through strangers. #feelingblessed😇
I'm so happy for you Diana!!
I'm so happy for you Diana!!
That's great ! I'm happy for you even if I don't know you ( sorry if my english is not excellent )
so so happy for you. you deserve to feel peace and protect it for any future relationships. proud of you
Wow that's amazing.🤗
I didn't even know #3 was an issue and now that I do, I'm a huge offender of this one. Not just in romantic relationships either, I spent months practically baby sitting my roommate when he was going through some major mental health issues. It ended up breaking our friendship, and I became resentful of him. Thanks for this video helping me realize my issue!
How did you deal with that
lol we have almost the same situation! 😂
"Let's play a game, the word involves with EX"
Me: E X C E L L E N T
Excuse me explain what happened here
I said y 🤦♂️
Me reading this : ua-cam.com/video/dgUbRpdUN1w/v-deo.html
Extend.
am i the only one who said "ex"?
I'm not good at this xD
Psych2go: “now, think of this one word: EX.”
Me: “CINEMASINS EX-MACHINA”
A man of culture
YES!!!!
Mood... My brain went “EXample”
Mine was, "EX GONNA GIVE IT TO YA, HE GONNA GIVE IT TO YA!". :3
I started singing the alphabet song.
The part about manipulating the argument to make your partner apologize really hit me. My ex was extremely abusive, our relationship was horrible and this is something eh would do all the time. Started as little things and before i knew it i was always the monster and he was always the poor victime.
And just recently, after 3 years of no contact at all, he contacted me again and this honestly confirmed what i thought. He didn't change at all. He says he's "grown and changed so much" and his first message ended with "i want to reconnect with you". Not "maybe there's a chance we could be friends again" or "would you be okay with reconnecting" no. "i want". "i want to reconnect" "i hope i will hear from you". Me me me. As usual it's all about him.
Didn't even think about the impact it would have on me. To see him suddenly try to be back into my life after i thought this was behind me and while i'm still trying to fix the damage he's done.
The best way I avoid ruining relationships is to rarely make them.
I cannot ruin what I do not have.
Yes, that is very true.
Hmmm, sounds lonely
ur genius is almost frightening 😌
The way of the master i shall take
Big brain moves
“What do you normally do when I’m gone?”
“Wait for you to get back”
I wasn’t expecting a SpongeBob reference lol but that’s a good point
I know right!? Golden
I kinda need help if someone could give me an advice
@@Link_Hyrule211 do you still need one? Energy is a good sign. If you feel drained after meeting with a certain person you should look out for a problem.
And there is a differnce between what do you feel about a person and how a person make you feel.
Thanks!
J. Cole said it best, “Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved”.
Culture vulture
That was 3-6 mafia in the 90s
yup. you can't save, fix, or change anyone, but if they want to change - you can be there for them.
Damn you even here? These females ruthless
Lmao I see u everywhere! 😂
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”
―C. S. Lewis
Love from a small UA-camr💙
Thank you :)
Love this 💕
I needed this quote SO much thanks 💕
i thought that said c.k. lewis for a sec
That really helped my night. It made it a little better thank you
That third one hit like a truck for me. At the time, it was only my second relationship or so, and I didn't quite have the whole "give and take" thing down. It got to a point where they started feeling worse about themselves because they couldn't reciprocate, despite me not even wanting them to.
bro i am single how can i ruin something that doesn’t even exist-
oof
you don't have friends or relatives??
@@hel2727 being single is about a relationship outside your family, and most of the time friends stay friends, nothing more
Kalay ahhahahahah
Well. Maybe you are single because ur f*ckin up your chances before anything even start. Like the 1st pattern.
“If you stress too much about something before it happens, you basically put yourself through it twice.”
Love from a small channel💙
have fun explaining that to overthinkers😅i try not to overthink and worry sometimes but other times when shes not around i constantly think of her then i overthink and feel like shes lost interest or since im on house arrest and we varely see each other shes falling apart from it emotionally and mentally causing her to just really disconnect overthinking and caring abt her is all i do
I actually fit in the number 3 category and i've found out i suffer of anxiety two years ago (which fits the year this video released lol). I've been trying to make this somewhat healthy, trying to think on both of us instead of only her. It's hard, i admit. But i recon that i can't do everything for her and only her because the relationship doesn't involve only her, but both of us. My happiness and hers are linked together.
My hint for anyone who's on the same boat as i am is to try and think about that. Your happiness is linked with hers, if you overdo yourself to make them happy, and become exausted in the process, they WILL know, and won't be as happy as you think. It's good stuff guys.
The person I was dating for a while left me because he said he didn't love me anymore. A few weeks went by and I started talking to someone else. I've suffered from depression for years. I have a fear in the back of my head that people will always leave me, but I want this new relationship to work out
Good luck! :)) I wish all the best for you
Holy crap... this hit so close to home it scared me lol. Im in a very similar situation. I hope everything is working out for you :)
This relationship didn't work out. Lack of communication
@@abbeyschleifer6634 Oh, that's a shame. I'm sorry to hear that :(
It's alright, I've been talking to someone really sweet recently
I can confirm. Being overly selfless can really take a toll on your mental health and eventually everything just kind of crumples down and you realize you need to focus on yourself
I really hurt my ex because of how selfless I was and it led to major anxiety and depression just like the video said, and I ended up breaking up with her which broke her heart. I feel awful about it but I just was not happy in that relationship but I still feel a sense of guilt whenever I think about it because of how badly I hurt her because of my own problems. Im in a new relationship now and I want to focus on him but sometimes that pain cant help creeping up on me. PLEASE don't be selfless all the time, find a good balance of selflessness and selfishness!
this is why my girl and I constantly have talked about how the relationship is going, whether we go too fat ith a situation or if one of us are not taking care of ourselves properly. we keep the communication up between our walls, even if it's talking about the bad traits to make it better in the long run
I was in a pretty messed up relationship, recently I left him but watching these videos made me realize how horrible he truly was. He would constantly manipulate me, blaming me for shit that wasnt even my fault even when he's in the wrong. And apparently sex is more important to him than the love and affection 💀 . I left that shit real quick and when I told him I was leaving him, he just got mad at me and told me to block em. It just shows that he didn't really cared
I'm sorry to hear that, indeed he was no good, he should love you and appreciate you for who you are, the way you are, the way you smile and laugh, intimacy comes second, when someone likes/loves you they do so because of the things I mentioned earlier, if, like in your case, sex is more important to them that tells me they don't appreciate you for the love and affection you gave them, which is a deal breaker in a relationship.
But never feel bad for yourself, you're out of it now and you learned something from that experience, something that will open your eyes in future relationships.
I wish you the best, you are strong and capable and worthy of being loved for the way you are.
@@Jackkenway thanks..I needed to read that
@@CJohann It was nothing, just thought I'd say something to lift your spirit, thank you for sharing that story btw, I've always advised people, especially guys, to focus on the inside, to love someone for who they are, because that's what matters in the end, the inner beauty that reflects on the outside, that's everlasting, that's what keeps a relationship together. 😊
Hey I’m late but at least there are other people out there than just you it’s good thing you got out of there and hope your doing fine
Every relationship before you find the “one” depending if you believe in that or not (which I do) should be a learning experience through out. If you are going to be in a relationship for a while, you might as well learn from it. Everything in life leads you to be who you are this very second. Some of us make repeated mistakes and that’s okay as long as we are gradually learning. Amazing video! Glad I found this channel!
You my friend, suffer from ONEitis. I strongly advice that you ckeck Rollo Tomassi's work, ASAP.
@@daniel_rossy_explica to quote The Good Place -if soulmates do exist they are not found they are made
I killed another person... Hmm... Doesn't matter cuz i'm doctor and things like dis happen.
This video absolutely showed me that me AND my partner are doing very fine in our relationship. We talk about problems, we both know our self-worth and nobody is talking about past experiences too often or better said, in inappropriate situations. 🙏🏻
She just left me for another guy after dating for 3 yrs, i gave her my all. She wanted marriage and i promised her we were still on that track despite the fact i llsy my job then and got a better one but she still left. I wanna experience a real loyalty from a soulmate.
Atleast you got a better job & maybe she was there in your life to teach a lesson .
So be positive you will find a suitable person.
At least you have better job lol that's one + from your previous relationship.
“Think about your past relationships “
*remembers pre-k wedding on playground*
Ahh, yes, that one. What a guy .
I definitely did a 180 and had a completely different person, yet I was just too shy to really take the lead. I also tried to do everything for the other person. But thanks to you guys I got over it all and started to love myself and to acknowledge that I am worth. Thanks for all of that😊
Please keep going! And the voice actor is just great. You have such a calming voice…
Lots of love to you all
The one who cares the least runs the relationship. get with the girl that adores you the most. Not the one you breakin your neck for.
She used to be that, but then she became abusive without realizing it
@@marcusgotosleep4853 you need space, space is the only way to see if they realizes that you're important. At the end of the day you have to be ready to walk away from anything that hurts you.
This either or pattern has not born fruit in my experience. You must find someone who truly identifies with you on a fundamental level. Otherwise they can never understand, and without understanding they cannot appreciate what and why you are. And vice versa. When things get hard, and they will, we all need a level of empathy that can only come from our own experiences.
Goes to a man as well :) you are saying good quotes but I would suggest you using word “person” instead of “girl” , because boys can do as much harm as well :)
Namaste
@@matthewdavis3014 makes me so sad the lack of empathy people have these days... :(
THEM: *talks about selflessness to an overzealous extent is not healthy for you*
ME: *stops eating my ramen and points at the screen* THATS ME WAIT-
I think having boxes to check when dating is a good thing, as long as your boxes are all deal breakers in a partner, and not superficial. When I was dating, I had "soft boxes" that were all signs indicative of good character (and then a couple tier 2 boxes, ironically "likes to cook" was one) which I put together after my first relationship, because I wanted to hold my future partner to a higher standard than the last. My current partner of 1 year ticked ALL the boxes almost immediately, and we're still going strong today. :)
Also after my experience, I call BS on the "the perfect person doesn't exist" rhetoric. They probably do exist (unless your perfect person is genuinely a lovebot who will never speak a word against you). And you probably won't meet them until you respect yourself, and solidify your dating standards.
@@notexact Its been a year later, did your opinion change?
@@johnmachenzie1613 Everything in my first comment is still true (still in the same relationship, it has lasted 3 years now, it is even stronger now than it was when I wrote that comment). My second comment I would probably amend - there is probably way more than 1 "perfect person" for the average person, but it is unlikely you will meet many of them. I would also add that I have come to see the value in the pure grit and determination of "making a relationship work". Both parties need to be fully on board and committed, no "if"s "and"s or "but"s. This is almost as - or arguably even more important than - having all your boxes checked off.
my boyfriend said he'd leave me for his celebrity crush if he got the chance and it makes me feel second rate
edit: so he ended up leaving me for another girl :)
edit 2: so he ended up leaving the girl he left me for after dating for like a day and now he's with another girl
in conclusion, he's a really fucked up guy
Probably something that he should have kept to himself, but realistically, It's never going to happen, although I understand the sentiment being you are not his #1 choice, whether it could happen is irrelevant.. It's the idea. But I mean.. To throw in a little hypothetical, if your celebrity crush miraculously came up to you tomorrow and said "be mine" would you say no?
I personally wouldn't want a serious relationship with any celebrity, the difference in background/fame that comes with that is not for me and I imagine them to all be vain to a fault but.. Id wager most people would if given the opportunity. Don't let it affect your relationship with him if its otherwise healthy, and don't punish honesty. Best of luck.
@@trollkiller1008 if my celebrity crush or any long-term crush I had randomly made me choose between my gf and them ik who I'm choosing. It's my gf. She's been there for me through really hard times and yes she's long distance yes it sucks being long distance but I never had a rekatship as healthy and happy as the one I have now. If you would drop someone for some famous person that probably has a lot of problems you never really loved that person your with
That's not good tell him how you feel about it and if he's an ass about it it might be time to move on
seems like #4 was his problem. maybe talk it out?
People will say it's his fault but honestly? That happened to me and after a long time I understood that the problem was how I treated myself. He probably meant as a joke, it's never gonna happen and if given the chance, he would choose you because of intimacy and feelings. What I meant by "it's how I treated myself" is about your own confidence. You were hurt by that because at your current state, you're probably the one with a low self esteem, therefore a joke hurts you. Yeah, that's harsh, but it happened to me and that's what I realized. When I let go of seriousness and started giving myself a bit more of love, I started being able to see when people were trying to hurt me or if it wasn't their intention. Talk it out with him but also realize your own feelings.
Healthy boundaries are essential.
Being able to be honest inwardly is just as important as it is to be honest outwardly. Truthfully, I am guilty of some self centered behaviors and have dishonestly concealed many RedFlags in order to overlook my faults. Is this a double whammy or what?
Means u have self-centered behaviour and then u seen some red flags of ur partner?
Dont conceal them. Either work on them and improve yourself or wear them on your sleeve. The only thing a man hates more than a bad woman is one who lied and said she was good.
I had a bit of an epiphany lately when I realised that being scared that a relationship could end doesn't make you more likely to make the relationship work and ruins the happiness that you already share. I realised I couldn't fix every aspect of my own behaviour with the goal of ensuring a perfect relationship, only look at our *mutual* happiness as the goal. It's made me feel much more at peace about enjoying and cherishing my relationship now.
Only one flaw on this list I've had. Being the selfless one in the relationship. It's very emotionally draining.
Three things we all want in a relationship: Eyes that do not Cry; Lips that do not Lie; and Love that will never Die. A great relationship is about appreciating the similarities and respecting the differences. But today, telePhone batteries last longer than most relationships 🖖
Hey do you want a strong relationship
Message this number on WhatsApp and I promise he will not disappoint you
+2=3=4=8=02=5=7=3=9=1=3=3
+2=3=4=8=02=5=7=3=9=1=3=3
..
I was too selfless, I made myself believe I was worthless bc I put him above everyone and everything, I learned and now I’m better and happier
Art style is good, also thank your team for teaching me a lot about mental health. I went through lots of abuse thinking it was “just a part of growing up” but yeah.
I feel so sorry, I hope that hasn't impacted your current mental health or the way you react to stress.
It should never be like that growing up, my friend. I hope you're doing much better now. Love 🤍💪
@@SphereofCygnus wise Words man, wise words! 🔥
i dont blame you for thinking that- many people keep saying that its just part of growing up
Video: What's the first word that comes to mind when you hear "EX".
Me: ...Cat.....?
Video: **grows eyes and looks at me in confusion**
Me: I can explain-
Explain?! XD
@@lunamadz1983 my exboyfriend despised his own name, so he decided to go by Neko, and that means cat in japanese.
You weren't expecting an actual explanation did ya? ;)
xDD
@@Daw2050 that is actually a very valid and interesting explanation- I’m not as concerned now 😂😂
Mmm cat yes
Being in a relationship is a sure way to ruin it. Friends and lovers never stay together. In order to soaew myself the pain of separation, I simply have chosen to have neither friends nor a lover.
My main concern still is, when I’m really depressed, is I’ll be yelled at, blamed for everything when i did nothing, called clingy and needy. My fiancé and I ask each other what we want to do, and sometimes we both don’t know
Sounds like you need to stop being a energy drain on your partner and take some time for yourself . Like seriously take some space from eachother
Couples therapy seems legit, unless you think he walked all over your boundaries for no good reason
A key to a successful relationship is having a healthy social circle outside of the relationship. Your partner shouldnt be your go to for everything, that being said they shouldnt run away at any time of struggle either. Balance is important
Hey Psych2Go.. your content is helping me with what to do and how I can help myself with depression. I love your content and I appreciate the hard work
Thank you. We appreciate you too :)
I said a big yikes at #3. I didn't know that you could actually be overly caring but, I fit the bill according to the description in the video. I've thought about it before, and have tried to force myself to try to learn to give my partner space because I know I may be overly attached, I just kept given myself the excuse "It's okay, you're in love, this is normal".. but uh, note taken ✍🏾😅
The ex question was interesting for me: I am always expecting my new partner prospect to hate what I do, or to say I should not do things that I like. And wen she doesn’t I’m surprised for a second, but I inevitably think “she don’t like me enough, that is why she does not force her opinions on me”.
"maybe that ex caused you to avoid relationships for a long time" ahh yes i'm feeling represented here
I'm with you it's been years and wonderful without her💯😂
This video explained how I’ve been in my last two relationships bring to selfless and always overlooking red flags
Well as someone who has not yet been in a relationship, I can only see myself doing number 3. But I already have anxiety and depression so were all good.
The narrator has a beautiful silky smooth voice.
Definitely guilty of #1, ticking off the boxes! I was afraid of making a bad choice, and I thought all these “boxes” showed I had standards and that I knew what I wanted. Guess what? I finally found someone who “ticked all the boxes”, and I couldn’t be happier! However, I almost messed it all up! I was in such a mode of analyzing whether she was healthy for me, that I was constantly questioning and commenting and assessing and observing, and I was too uptight. What’s more, it made this wonderful person I was with feel nitpicked, doubted, mistrusted, disrespected, and judged! And…she was right! I had to let all that go to enjoy the wonderful person she is, for exactly who she is, and not some person devoid of “red flags”. She works with me, has great empathy, and cares deeply about me and others. Things are going great now that I’ve stopped trying to “figure it all out” because I’m afraid and projecting my own self-criticism!
Take the time to understand your past, any traumas, the relationship you grew up around whether that was your parents or not and what impression of love did that give you? Once you know those things you can reshape any limiting beliefs.
Thank you for this. I screenshotted it to keep it for when I need that reminder. I never got real love, parents included, until I got in my first relationship with my friend of 5 years at the time. It was such a shock to me to learn what love felt like. It made me realize how bad my homelife is and it was extremely overwhelming. Beautiful but also very hard. I don't know how dependent is too dependent, I never had someone to depend on and always had to do stuff on my own. I grew up around hostility and had to brush it off so much, now I don't know how to react to being mistreated. Or if I'm even being mistreated. So, we decided to break up. I need to figure that stuff out and he needs to figure his own stuff out too. I still love him, but I know I need to work on my trauma and find a balance.
@@moniqueortiz4489 You're welcome, glad i could help. I really respect what you've done here, commenting all of that is a difficult, vulnerable thing to do, you should congratulate yourself for that!
That must of been a really tough situation for you, fair play for doing the right thing and taking the time to work on yourself. Trauma and how it affects us in the present is a complex subject and my personal opinion is that therapy is always the best route. I wish I could help more but it's difficult in a comment section and I haven't really posted any videos about trauma on my channel, but I would recommend checking out 'the holistic psychologist', 'Julia Kristina counselling' and 'julienhimself'. Those are the channels on UA-cam I think could be useful:) I will say though try to understand that you will get over any hurt you feel from leaving that relationship, the world is abundant and you will find a truly happy relationship. I think inner child work and building self love and self trust are probably going to be the main things that help you the most. 'How to do the work' by Nicole Lapera could be a really helpful book. Whatever route you take it sounds like you're a strong person with a drive to improve yourself and that only leads to good things, I hope everything goes well for you 😊
Very good and wise advice.
Although it can take a lifetime to heal yourself of some of these things sometimes and it's really rough going it alone. Having someone there to support you in your healing journey can be a wonderful boost as well...
@@TakeBackYourMind997 Thank you so much for responding, I hadn't seen it till now! I appreciate your recommendations and hope everything goes well for you too ❤
@@EveInTheMachine Very true ❤ Me and the friend I spoke of are still supporting each other every step of the way, just not while being in a relationship because sadly it wasn't working out. So we stuck to what we do best, being best friends to each other 😊 We've been friends for almost a decade now and we both agreed we weren't going to let that go.
I'm so glad my relationship is amazing. 💖💖 we weren't always like this. We really had to work hard on a lot of things in the beginning, but now we're smooth sailing. We're the oldest couple in our friend groups! Either way, I can't see us ever getting a divorce. I luff him to bits 😍😍
Whenever I had a breakup I always tried to learn what I did wrong and when I did, I gained one piece of info of a do or don't. Even when I was the one who broke up with them, I learned something. It was a bit hard for me at times when I missed some of my ex's, but I knew that it wouldn't work. So I plan to move on and hang with this one girl to just talk and get to know each other. Your videos are the best at helping people learn things and have a safe space for when others need it. Keep doing what you're doing and have an amazing day.
Omg I ADORE this art style!!
0:06 checking off the boxes
1:22 making it all about you
2:35 making it all about them
3:42 allowing your ex to influence you
5:13 overlooking red flags
Thank you 😊
@@noonegirl ❤️
I’ve seen many of your videos on relationships already. I think I’m ready get back out there now, bet there’s a few single ladies who’d be happy to have a guy like me around. Let’s just hope... I don’t get too full of myself again & make up anxious problems that aren’t really there.
I just can’t have healthy relationship. I either don’t open up at all or I’m just emotional bagage
Sounds like you need a therapist before trying to date again. I was the same and it turns out I had a lot of trauma to work through. Still working through it tbh
Hope you can get trough
“What word comes to mind when you hear the word ‘ex’?”
My brain: *screaming*
This video really did open my eyes to some things in my current relationship, especially 3 and 4. I’m glad i’m watched this because now i can better work on myself and my relationship. Thanks :)
I feel that being controlling in the relationship might not always be intentional. If one partner tends to be good at taking charge, and the other is rather passive and happy to just go with the flow, then the first person might always be the one making the decisions. Its not that their partner can't chime in if they have something specific they want, they just choose not to. Speaking from experience, I'm the one who's usually doing all the decision making.
I mean , it "Can" be a healthy thing for some it just depends. If they're not being assholes or talking he person down, some people WANT that in a relationship and flourish better when someone else takes charge. as long as nobody is suffering and both parties are loving and happy its not anyone else's bizz but they own and others can poop off o3o lol. its when they become asses and stuff that it becomes a problem
Traditionally thats the role of the man, to lead. Ill get called a misogynist for this but thats how it should be. A relationship works when a man is happy with himself and a woman respects the man. A key part of having your woman respect you is not letting her dictate everything you do
what I got from this was my greatest skills, taking emotional beatings, extreme patience, and willingness to go above and beyond aren't tools I can use to my advantage. That list on how not to be a pushover I've done all of that for FRIENDS. Back to square 1 I guess
Honestly this video made me feel a lot better about myself. I was feeling like I was doing some things wrong but this made me realize that the balance between giving and taking, and being selfish and selfless is a pretty healthy balance in my relationship:) thanks psych2go I love your videos!
How do you know what that looks like?
Jeez, Love is so complicated...
I am lucky that I promised myself to stay single...
Wrong bro
@@omonas9681
You don't get me.
I am not the type of Person for romantic relationships because the responsibility that I'll have is too much for me and I don't know what's right and what's wrong.
And there is also the part that I don't want to come too close with someone.
Like my family for example.
I've been forced to live with an strict and mean stepfather for 15 fricking years of my fricking life.
I know some kids might have been suffering more but this man belongs to those a**hole stepfathers as well.
And I have a lot of reasons why I blame him for me to not wanting to have a girlfriend...
For not wanting to have a family on my own...
For not suffering the same amount of family problems and for me distancing myself from my own founded family like I did to the family I came from and I was born in.
These are only some aspects I listed on here, there would be a few more.
Listen carefully man.. in this life, god have destined for us family, we are so proud to have them, we need to unconditionally love them, we appreciate them more than our selves, BUT exepct if they dont love us and they hate us, in that case we just pray to them just for god, you have choice to hate them or like them , but you can just like them and forgive them for GOD. You said we' ve got so much responsbility for them, yes we need to work hard for true love that how true love work, true love isnt receiving good emotional feelings but giving a part of your heart to them and feeling those emotions at the same time, likewise your wife or girl friend, there is a girl destined for you ( if you looking for a proply passionate love ) yes there is some ppo who's not romantic but that doesnt mean to not ignore the resppnsibility , the hardwork is more than being romantic 100x time, you need to get into the complications and battle it firstly for god and secondly for your gf, i think the situation you are in will pay off in the future as a person who truly loves you but only if you seek for loving your loved ones proply and work hard for them. I cant give you an advice for your step father but just have passion and pray to him for
God.
I seek god to help you and hope you understand me.
@Elizabeth Adventurer i dont think so
@@omonas9681
As a Christian by myself I appreciate your help.
Thank you, but since I considered myself as aromatic and asexual I don't think there is a way to change my love interest.
I mean you can't force someone who loves a person with the same gender to stop that so that they can love someone with the opposite Gender.
Taking notes for my first relationship
I gotta say your voice is soothing and relaxing. Always a pleasure to watch Psych2go:)
“Sometimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own blessings by holding onto to the past or thinking negatively. Start letting go.”
I think one of the biggest issues I’ve seen in some of my friends, and myself(especially when you have a crush) is that you don’t actually like them, you like the idea of them. Idk if it helped anyone but if I did I’m glad to help. It’s helped me a lot.
I've always been curious about this cus it seems like I'm hurting my significant other.
Maybe talk to a therapist about it. Hard to have a healthy relationship if you aren't working through your own issues (believe me, I've been there)
Same here. But the good thing is when you become aware you can really work to change things. I talked to my partner and owned up to the things I was doing and now I work every day at making sure to change my bad behaviour. And we are much better for it.
@@paulaa.3220 I'm aware but i don't even know where to start
@@afabulousmegalodon5781 it honestly takes a lot. You gotta admit that to yourself first and it's hard. Saying "I do toxic stuff the person I love is not an easy thing." Then I admitted it to him. And from there I made the promise to change my behavior. After that it was a matter of checking all of my interactions with him to make sure I wasn't going back to normal patterns. It took a lot of will power and control at first but now it's easier. I talk about it with him a lot too.
@@afabulousmegalodon5781 cause none of it was his fault you know? It was my own insecurities and traumas that unfortunately seeped into my behaviors.
I just got out of a 3 year long relationship, and it was also long distanced. it happens in April because I felt like I was slowly being put off or I wasn't worth being talked to, I get that not everyone second of the relationship has to be so full of love, and I have my partner time to breathe and to take a break, but for two months of me having to start the conversation, asking if she's been ok, how's school, stuff like that, I'm giving and closed ended responses; no,good, i ate, ok. I felt like I was talking to myself something's because of how many times she just didn't respond. and when I tried to pry her open to see if there was a big issue, she would everything was fine. and I trusted her, until I saw that she was more comfortable with others, and I felt like a bad partner not knowing whats going on with them. I felt ignored, like I was boring, I tried all I could do, but felt like I wasn't enough, and its not like this the first time it's happened.. once I broke it off, she didn't bother asking why, not even asking if I was okay, just letting it happen. she was never an unlovable person, or rude or mean. she just dealt with a lot of trauma and I couldn't blame her from it, but that just proves that none of us are in a capable state for a relationship especially long distanced. I see now from the outside that I was a bit selfless from her to stay happy, taking the blame for her bad day even thought I had nothing to do with it. and I was so dependent on her, my happiness came from her happiness, and I would stare at my phone just to get a message from her, or stay up late to talk to her because we had different time zones, it came to a point to when I felt.. alone, she was no longer interested in me if I didn't get a message. I realized this, and herd from other close friends ive talked to about this that, it's always been like that, from the outside looking in, this was a cycle. we had a phase of love,overwhelming feelings, these highs that were so addicting that we fulled our relationship this way, instead also facing the hard sad moments for the relationship, that we had to talk about. but we never did because I was scared I may make her runaway from me, or she won't like my opinion she'd get mad and leave me.the phase of me agreeing to not speak on the problems in fear, I'd loose my only source of happiness(at the time), and letting her ignore me for months until she wants to talk to me, and ignore my friends because I want to keep talking to her or, not go to certain gatherings because she wants to call and face time, I valued the moments she was happy and willing to participate in the relationship like gold because, it was hard to get her to have talk to me after sad moments. then repeat for three and a half years. I'm happy I got out, and even though I still think on how I could have been better, if neither of us do anything it won't make the relationship stronger.
I went through a similar situation. Her trauma, depression etc made her be rather mean sometimes. I decided to give her what she gave me. That was a bad call. Why? I did it for a year. The "do unto others as they do to you" only works on ppl that have insight and if you do it for a long time, you will become bitter and resentful. I was also very selfless and hence i got mad/sad that i didnt get the same. Sometimes i would express myself and she would get defensive. Point is, i felt the same as you. She left me for her childhood best friend. I feel your pain.
Let me info dump you :You know guys,i messed up. I had this girl which i loved very much for years. She suffered from depression anxiety, and panic attacks. Her constant "shit life" caused her to be in a bad mood most of the time. I was always there for her. ALWAYS. I was, without a doubt the primary emotional caretaker and i did not mind. I loved to lift my girl up
Nonetheless, i grew tired of her bad mood, her disrespects. I knew it wasnt because of me, but regardless she always talked to me in a bad tone and such.
As such, i decided to do the same to her. If she was gonna talk to me that way and be in a bad mood with me, i was gonna do it to her. I thought she would see how her actions werent nice...but that only works on ppl that have insight and emotional intelligence.
Where did i mess up? I applied this tactic for a year. This ended up in constant fights and almost tears everyday. I would sometimes cry with her and pass the sleepless nights with her because i didnt want her to cry. Sometimes she cried because i expressed myself and sometimes i said "if your gonna talk to me like that, i dont want to talk to you". Part of me always made excuses for her attitudes, "oh, her family treats her like shit, shes always busy, shes poor and wants to kill herself, etc." I always felt bad about the fights because her attitude wasnt coming from her pure heart, but due to her surroundings. I in the other hand, grew bitter and did the things i perceived from her back on purpose. It was also a bad time in my life: dad lost like 80 pounds due to cancer, my dog died in my hands and i was exhausted with my physic's master's degree. I messed up.
I always wanted her to get help from a psychologist to deal with her emotional trauma and whatnot and also i wanted to go to a couple's therapist to serve as a mediator to help us communicate better. She said she was too busy for that. She was always too busy. Even for annual doctor appointments.
At the end, the constant fights and tears made her break up with me and understandably soo. She ended up with her childhood best friend who always had a crush on her and she once got drunk, a year before meeting me, and confessed to the dude but he was taken at that time.
Morale of the story and life lesson for me: never ever give back the energy you think the other person is giving you. It is definitely fair, but it will poison and bitter your otherwise kind heart.
Its been a year since we broke up and I think theyve been official for like 6-8 months. If he is indeed the one for her (given their history, i bet he is), even though he is also a depressive guy like her, i wish her the happiest life i could not give her at the moment. We had amazing chemistry, and she knew me
like an open book and vice versa. If he is not the one for her, i pray to God for another meeting down the line of life when we are both more mature and well. For now, im ending my master's degree while she is into her 2.5 year of college, even though we differ by 2 years of age.
Sorry for the vent , random strangers. It was also my first love and i regret not knowing more about love before hand.
The thing about the ex realy resonated with me. It's been six months since and that relationship has kinda prevented me from trying again. I deserve better, and it's no good for moping around. Thank you very much!
Me watching these videos despite never being in a relationship in my life: Hmmm yes very interesting
I needed this right now ♥️🌸
💕
Im sure youve heard this before but you have a really comforting voice.
Thank you for your daily life changing advice ❤️
You are so welcome!
The hard thing is, knowing you're the toxic one in the relationship and the bad habits are too hard to shake.
I ruin all my relationships by childhood stuff and not feeling enough. Sometimes I feel hopeless I’ll never get the help I need
Real
Hard to shake, not too hard to shake, It's never too late to make a change if you want to, it's 100% possible, just takes a lot of work
Noob
Can you do a video on how to tell if you're falling out of your friendship if that makes sense?
Yes that would be a great video!
That make sense! Yup, I will pass it down to the team!
Says a dude, that threw his adopted daughter off of a cliff for a glowing gem.
@@OrangeDragon04
Daughter, not friend. Daughter.
u just confirmed to me what i already knew, i haven’t completely moved on from my ex, i feel extremely guilty for what happened between us and even tho i didn’t wish we hadn’t broke up, i wish we could’ve done it in better terms, i wanna talk to them one more time, i never told them what was actually happening that made me uncomfortable in our relationship bc i was too ashamed, but i realize i should’ve, but either way he made it clear he doesn’t want to see or talk to me ever again sigh i think i should just wait until i forget it ever happened
Fun fact: I'm ruining my own relationship
Edit: holy moly thanks tysm for 196 likes 😆😁
Bro I’m 18 but just too insecure to even be in one
relatable
Lmfao
@@flattypatty2714 💀
We all are 🙂 *insecure cries intensifies*
Thanks for this video. I've been trying to figure out why I have a hard time staying in a relationship for idk how many years. I would have never guessed being too selfless could be the reason. It makes since now, thank you!
There's no such thing as a fresh start with someone new. Both parties bring ALL of their baggage with them. And no matter how hard someone tries to pack it all away and not "contaminate" the new relationship, eventually it will all spill out of the closet and onto the floor. Can either of you be okay with the Mr Hyde that is bound to resurface?
Personally, I have found happiness in being single and with no commitments to anyone. Platonic relationships have worked for me and I am happy with that.
My wife had a lot of things that bugged her over the years and kept it to herself. She let behavior she didn't like about me fester into bitterness. Now we are going to separate. Ive messed up a lot, but feel like it's very difficult to repair this relationship because she wasn't honest with me for years about how she felt. Including intimacy, she apparently doesn't like it, and kept that to herself. Used it to "manage" my mood. While I felt a sense of inadequacy for years not knowing why it felt like we were not connecting on an emotional level during intimacy (my love language is touch and I'm highly empathetic).
Watching this and seeing some of my old habits that I don’t fall into anymore makes me feel very nice
i never had fights in my relationship, we had dated for 3 years, and even the breakup was not a fight. So it is possible to have a relationship that way. Of course, we had different opinions, but we were both very good at communicating and not taking things immediately personal. But just listening and looking from their perspective
i cant believe Im here again i was here 6 months ago when my ex broke up with me i found a girlfriend 3 months ago and broke up with me today😭
Same boat here except it was the same girl both times...
Can you do one video about people falling in love as a older person
I’m not in a relationship but point three hit way too close to home
These videos without introductions are a million times better!
Hey Pysch2go'ers! I hope your doing okay, I'm here to help you through whatever your going through. So please, commeters, don't agure about how I commeted earlier then the video was published I just want this reply section to be a safe space ❤️
❤️❤️ !tysm! ❤️❤️
I’m kinda having a toxic sibling relationship right now. She gaslights me all the time but I can’t just get away from her because she lives with me. Please help
@@Callie_Padrick do you have a therapist?
@@Callie_Padrick Sure I'll try to help! Do you mind explaining some more?
Me and fellow singles: *We’re 4x more powerful than you*
Yeah 🔥
You're 4x more lame then us
I'm trying to be everything for her because I'm just so grateful to have her, and she's been treated so horribly in the past, and I would sacrifice everything for her if it meant keeping her happy. I didn't ever stop to think about how that's affecting my health and well-being. So thank you for stopping me from rolling down that hill. I want to be the best partner I can be for her but I gotta let myself breathe too. ❤