Hitler Plays Hearts Of Iron 3
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- Hitler tries to play the Grand strategy game that is Hearts Of Iron 3
However things don't seem to go exactly as planned...
Video Clips are from Downfall (Der Untergang) and Hearts Of Iron 3
Inspired by Hitler Rants Parodies
/ @hitlerrantsparodies
This video was still more useful than the game's tutorial.
That's actually pretty true sadly
JDMonster Really? I could play the game jsut fine with just the tutorials. Had to look up a few things later the get things like supply and how the battles are actualy calculated, but could play the first months of the campaign just fine.
SangerZonvolt I had to go through a lot of tutorials before I found a good one that explained it to me. I play it fine now
I used Poland on normal as tutorial, poor germany got squished by 1945 tanks and infantry XD
+JDMonster link of tutorial
,,This is the worst betrayal of all!!!" This translation was right!
+Der kleine Russe Lol. The movie had subtitles :P
TheLittleRussian the only one, with Downfall parodies, don’t expect much
Oh WOW!
That's everybodys first try
I don't think you're idiotic enough to declare war on every country around the area
I was, while playing as Brazil. Stupid USA
mati200299 I am not the only one who doesn't notice such small but important text. :D
mati200299 My first try was sitting through 100 years of doing nothing as Paraguay.
That's fun too :P
fake,error 404:france surrender not found
xD. Error 490: France killed Germany
The worst tutorial ever made award goes toooooooooooooooo Hearts Of Iron 3 YEYYYYYYY
ohh yes: i finished tutorial and i thought at first..............and when does the tutorial start?:D
Yea the tutorial was more about mocking Hitler than teaching you the game. I'm sticking to Europa Universalis ;)
but to defend HOI3: when u know how to play, its a very great game.
Ernst Baum I don't doubt that. HOI was actually the game that got me into the paradox games. Even though i never learned to play HOI
Ernst Baum i'm sure it is, and hopefully HoI4. But i can i realistically learn another PDox game, when i'm already invested in EU4 and CK2? and how many hours untill you feel comfortable with the game? 25?
7:08 At least Luxembourg is still a bro.
+Mateo Pedro Gonzale de Azcuenaga The front defender for nazi. Luxembourg is good at defending. Even Hitler make them as ally because he know they are good.
*sarcastic*
Wow yep forefront
WTH luxembourg won't join this bastards
Hahahaha these videos are so weird when you speak German
zupergozer These videos are the best argument against learning to speak German. XD
Poggle566 but I live like an hour away from Germany hahaha
zupergozer not if one is playing Hearts of Iron III you don't.
+zupergozer This one at least vaguely relevant to the speech.
+Poggle566 Oh hello
I love how some of the translation is rignt
Im German and nothing is right
I like the fact that the Himmler part was kinda similar to the actual translation lol... damn viruses ruining my world conquest :')
We got no Wall-marts in Germany :D
actually, there used to be Wal-marts in Germany. However, they never managed to make a profit and pulled out.
You are wise to not have them over there
+DirkT1709
No shit they didn't make a profit!
Germany has some damn good food.
Why would anyone eat our garbage-tier junk when they have delicious German food on every street corner?
There are other reasons why Wal-Mart failed in Germany.. I googled a little, and my personal favorite is this one:
Fiendish as it sounds, Walmart employees are required to stand in formation and chant, "WALMART! WALMART! WALMART!" while performing synchronized group calisthenics.
Unfortunately, this form of corporate boosterism didn't go over particularly well with the Germans. Maybe they found it embarrassing or silly; maybe they found it too regimented. Or maybe they found this oddly aggressive, mindless and exuberant exercise in group-think too reminiscent of other rallies....like one that occurred in Nuremberg several decades earlier. ( www.huffingtonpost.com/david-macaray/why-did-walmart-leave-ger_b_940542.html )
Quite fitting for the video here, actually... :)
DirkT1709
We are the master company!
Walmart is the final solution for all your needs!
"here is a map of berlin and i dont know what else to say"
best part
Poland got Berlin
+Pandadude12345 Poland might not into space but it definitely can into Berlin.
Now it can into defending against USSR.
+Pandadude12345 Poland can into empire and vodka, and commies!
well, and right afterwards with full speed down to hell!
I got this game yesterday. Today, I played as Greece. I now own all of Eastern Europe. It was on easy, but I'm still proud of myself.
yes givemeall 1000000000
noneutrality
surrender YUG GRE
surrender BUL GRE
surrender ROM GRE
surrender POL GRE
I'm ready to conquer now
MikiPL004 lol miki dats true
Zukas Mapping Are you stalking me?
No Miki YOU are stalking ME
Heheheh, nicely done. What I particularly like is that you mix and match brilliantly from different scenes, not use the same scene that all videos with Hitler do, over and over. Very nicely done indeed.
Watch this video in full screen. The "Exit fullscreen" button at the bottom right gives it a very Reich-ey vibe
the iron cross looking button?
Rex Galilae THE WEHRMACHT OWNS UA-cam
We are all like that when we first play HoI3
***** I played but I suck, I preffer Panzer General, Unity of Command or Civilization series.
***** Usually I played HO3 with my country, Romania, but I sucked because I either got conquered by Germany or the Russians.
I've head of Crusader Kings, but right now I'm playing some hard RTS like the first Red Alert and C&C 95. I've also started to play Unreal Gold, amazing game.
***** It's a good game but the campaign mode isn't that great, it's more fun to play with friends, because I had some fun times playing with some buddies f mine. If you don't move fast you can't win and I'm always a strategic thinker and don't rush things. Now I'm trying the first C&C Tiberian Dawn.
Sounds interesting, having a family and being a TBS is something unique, although in HoI you can put generals in command and have fun with that.
Makes sense, in order to easy your job you need a northern ally with big resources to pound Asia and put pressure on them to ease the focus on you.
I'll maybe try England allying with Germany or Republican Spain to defeat Franco and create some alternative history.
Haha, Republic of Texas ! Sounds like a fascist or socialist state in the mid 30s.
I also played Axis & Allies which is simplified version of HoI but it's fun and I definitely recommend Strategic Command European Theater and Close Combat games.
***** The next time I'll play it I'll try to employ your tactic.
So true. XD
I refuse to learn what they are actually saying in these scenes so I can always enjoy these types of videos.
Watched with the original subtitles and it's very sad. The depression and feeling of inescapable defeat are almost unbearable.
I really laughed my ass off in the beginning. Too sad I can kinda understand german since im dutch, makes it a bit more difficult to believe the subtitles.
Both sides of my family are Dutch originally!! :D but I was born in the UK, and know zero German so I get to enjoy this shit even more XD
IKR!! i studied the German language so its odd when I see subtitles
I read that the director, Oliver Hirchbiegel, loves these Hitler skits, but he turns off the sound.
Kojak0
Lol why didnt I come up with that myself
as a german its harder
lol. This was funny. Not a bad video. Definitely deserves more views.
Are you jewish?
Games Cooky Why do you care?
Joseph Cherry I didn't ask you
the first day i got hoi3
+Mahdi Adib Same.
+Mahdi Adib Same here, except I wasn't fighting, just playing as Romania being neutral, fuck you Hungary! USSR, I'm still deciding to ally with your commies, with the allies, with the Nazis, or with nobody, being neutral!
TheRandomGamer 1234 lol that doesnt last long
+Mahdi Adib not exactly. I entered wars with USSR and Hungary, and made white peace with them almost instantly
TheRandomGamer 1234 thats suicide
So i herd you liek gamez
Indeed
I knew it.
***** The fact that you replied 4 minutes after I posted a reply to your comment posted 6 days ago makes me worried about the amount of UA-cam you consume.
Nonsense, you act like theres a such thing as to much UA-cam *Eye Twitch*
Lol
This is pretty much how WWII went down.
+World B. Gilbert Gottfried
WWII abridged.
6:25 At least he conquered Denmark.
Himmler downloading some BBW videos, that's pretty new.
The movie is actually amazing also RIP to bruno ganz (he played hitler)
This video really creates an interesting and compelling story.
Also The scene is from the film called 'downfall' which details the final days of Hitler and the Nazi party and he is playing Hearts of Iron to win the war. That is Irony.
"Please... everybody fuck off." That's me when I wake up.
I laughed so hard my cat jumped when he said I just wish this food wasn't so shitty
And when Hearts Of Iron IV came out,all the Hearts Of Iron III veterans said it was way too dumbed down...
And most of them completed their first game on the hardest settings within a 16 hours non stop of the games' release on Steam...
Those people are savage...
funniest wwii/hitler parody video I've seen in a while...
1:38
iSorrowProductions?
im going to have Fegaline, Fegaline, Fegaline stuck in my head.
5:27 ww2 summed up
Are models of the tanks and soldiers a mod or hidden in game by some option ive left un clicked?
+Luke Titus You have to uncheck "Use Counters" in the ESC menu
CHEERS
Adolf should have waited for the Steam sale this week, it's only $2.50 U.S.
Me when I first got Hearts of Iron...
This has to be one of the funniest videos I have ever seen.
"Der Kreig...ist verloren."
PART 2 NOWWWWWWWWWWW
This is probably the funniest Hoi 3 video out there
I just got this game recently. Being a fan of other Clausewitz engine games (especially CKII), I thought I knew what I was in for.
My first time playing, I picked Germany and tried to invade Poland. Poland defeated my entire eastern army before I had to ragequit in shame. This game definitely has a learning cliff (and a "tutorial" that pretty much amounts to the devs shrugging and saying "figure it out n00b!"), but it's amazing. I wish I had found out about it sooner!
mjhacker You lost to poland. Well that's something new.
mjhacker Because poland stronk and you noob
+FrenzyProject37 I played HOI2 and cold not even finish the tutorial because polan was butt fucking me.
So how low am I
+Hibye9988
Maybe he went in with the default armies, lel.
You HAVE to re-complile those pieces of shit to be any good.
A 3-stack of infantry is pathetic. You have to split them up and set the up like this:
1 infantry, 1 engineer, 1 arty, 1 AT
Or if you plan to add tanks, later:
1 inf, 1 eng, 1 arty, 1 AA
You can also make mobile versions of this that have 7 speed, instead of 4.
And you'll still get stuck in Russia because you didn't make enough armies. :D
+Hibye9988 Just a Poland, It shouldn't be that hard. It could hold it's own in very hard mode.
LOL The music is the same in HOI4
I was waiting for the part where they have the people standing outside and the girl crying for the woman to put her hand on the other woman and say, "don't worry, we play Victoria II."
My first game on HoI III looked better ^^
I had invaded Poland, then defended against France and all, then lost when Russia arrived
*****
One should start by invading Poland in 1936-7
And then wait for the war, then invade France, Czecoslovakia and Britain, then place a few 200k men in France-England-NL-Belgium, then send 1,2 M men to Russia.
*****
You just put a garrison of ~ 200 k men in France and let them do the job
(With transports)
Welcome !
*****
Don't forget ! Invade Poland in 1936-1937 !
Oh, and don't forget to make Transports, so you can put men in Ostprussia before invading Poland, and, later, invade England with ~ 200k men
0:19 walmart doesn't exist in Germany
So...What am i now? Some kind of....Cinemasins guy?
Luxembourg left in the axis alone
"Himmler use my pc...." ^^
Great work with this one.
i enjoyed it a lot
Everytime I try to watch one of these videos I end up watching the movie itself with the correct speaking -.-
This is literally the best entertainment ever made.
LOL !!! great sens oh humor, i enjoyed (his interprétation of AH is really adapted to do funny stuffs)
well made, really (y) :D
That moment when you realize Wal-Mart isn't even ALLOWED in Germany. XD
This is what would happen if I tried to play the game: Cheat and still lose. "EAT PANZERS!" "And.... I lost." or even, playing as the USA... "How did I lose to Canada!"
Very good. Made me laugh!
the first 4 minutes of the vid thou XD so good
4:32 how to make units look like this???
+King Nevermore There is a button in the options , turn it on ,and unit will become like this···but not a suggestion , it makes contol sucks
how did you get the units to appear as the real things? I have the dlcs but they wont work apart from sempi motherland gotter and their finest?
You know, Hearts of Iron IV is coming out soon.
As they say, old memes never die. They just fade away.
"the 9th army should not be sent all to one province" LMAAAAAAAAAAAAO
Boi why is this in my recommended during ww3 tensions
Damn, I can't watch these anymore after having learned German.
hitler:AM THE BEST!!!!
game:LOL YOU JUST CHEATED FOR SURVIVE
um hi quick question do know how to change the unit icon like this one
Wal Mart? In Berlin? American centric?
Arrwmkr It's a joke about the Belin Wall.
For anyone interested: The German Risk AAR.
Hitler uses the Risk and Axis & Allies boardgames and later Hearts of Iron as battle simulators to determine the best way to win the war. Extremely funny even after all this time.
forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-german-risk-aar.97747/
My Fuhrer... We've created you an advanced WW2 simulator so you can learn some succesful strategies and what is actually useful on the front
when Hoi4 wasnt been released.
7:10 how's the title of this music?
What do you mean
Very few things have made me laugh to tears, and this is one of them.
how do you get those little solider figures?
Awesome i laughed hard at this actually showing the game play with his reactions :D lol
6:38 pure art
Yea. the Frensh army seems a tad OP in the begning of the war. Before it made disorganized its quite powerfull and really dangerus... when its disorganized, it just falls.
Soviet also seems a little like that. ITs to OP in the begning, and to .. well "UP" in the end. Its really hard to break the front. And even if you do, its really hard to push. But then when you are close to Leningrad, Mosow and Stalningrad it seems like the resistance just vanish.
I think the issue is here that in the game there is no fine mecnic production speed. In real life its very diffrent from making fine mechanics and armour.
In 1940 the engine production capability of USSR was really week. When the tanks and airplain was shot down, they could simply not be replaces in sufficient numbers. Then the artic convoys came and suplied USSR with engines and machinguns.
HOI should really have diffrent type of industry. Electric/Electronic, fine mechanic, cemical, and other mechanic.
Well... Your wish is granted?
HILTER WITH THEIR DUDES IN PRISON PLAYING GAMES
Which mod puts letters on the countries?
Good job bro this cracked me up so hard
i watched this movie the other week...
That's what he gets for declaring war without getting his military stronger.
the who acted as hitler in the movie was brilliant for everything
What mod did he use so I can get them flags cuz the German flag I have is boring
Awesome made man!
Who is seeing this from 2023
epic shit. we need a Freeman's mind kinda thing on HoI. someone acting as if he was hitler and speaking in a german accent, or have theese voices and have subtitles. tho it would take a long time to produce, it will be epic.
First i tougth this video had five million views, and it should!!!
"Hitlers mind"
katten elvis hitlers mind, eh, eh? well, if a canadian makes it then..
Gumball
not really. he did think of other stuff. ever heard of the five year plan?
this is ahead of its time
That's strange when you know Germany and read the subtitles haha
what is the name of the original video? pls
the movie? downfall maybe? im not sure
I love how this shitpost has so much effort put into it
This was so hilarious, was laughing my ass off.
This is frickin' brilliant.
good job setting it up
Hwat? I thought Himmler was one of the most loyal people eva.
Hahaha.. Cryptolocker.. XD That's really sad, Adolf...
Me strategy when i was playing as germany:
Step 1: choose very easy difficulty 'cause i'm a noob.
Step 2: start important researches and make plans on starting the war only after i have all the technology i need.
Step 3: screw the step 2, let's start the war earlier!
Step 4: conquer belgium and france.
Step 5: respect the non-aggression pact with russia so i don't have to fight a two front war.
Step 6: try to invade britain and realise that i've neglected the navy and the luftwaffe for years, so they're obsolete and useless.
Step 7: sucessfully conduct a campaing in north africa.
Step 8: soviet union declared war on me.
Step 9: wait, what? WHY?!
Step 10: this is definitely a lost war, let's quit and start a new game.
Well, congratulations if you read it all!
Hidden cut scenes revealed
woah why is the german banner swastika? whats the mod?
+Karl Anthony Adonis i think in the original uncensored version it's has the historic banner for germany. Only the censored versions (like here in germany) have the simple black, red and white flag
20 Armies to defend against Denmark, lol
are you using any mods?
Once upon a time, me, as Germany , with entire Europe as my ally or my enemy(France, UK, Russia and Greece), was conquering the world, when i receive a message that says "Spain has capitulated!", and just like the true Germany did to Italy, sent troops to re-take the territory, so the Soviets counter-attacked. A year after, capitulated...
Their armies was not enough! The soviets capitulated!
So having only played 4. Do you prefer 3? Or 4?
wolfhunter98 4 is quite easier, with less micromanagement and meaningful research trees. 3 is more complex, with more variety and has that good feeling of accomplishment when you pull off a good offensive. Hoi3 is more like a sink or swim learning experience, while Hoi4 is more forgiving and welcoming for newcomers. I still play both, Hoi3 is like a real veteran mode.
Sweet, will give it a shot. I expect it to go as well has this video lol.
Oh how's the naval combat? Big fan of playing Japan or US for that reason.
this is the best video about hitler playing a game Hearts of Iron alwayes Spectaular and hitler sucks at it.
+BallerZ 4LiFe best sentences :
1-i really hate our ISP... they suck balls and the girls look shocked! hahaha (even me too you know suck isp) 1:36
2-please....every one fuck off! hahaha 2:52
3-bring me fegeline...my furher he's not here....he's himmler's buttfucker he has to be here hahaha that killed me man XD 2:58
4- if you don't stop this shit i'll fuck you right 3:31
5-go fuck fegeline...fegeline...fegeline....fegeline (fits well doesn't it?) 3:36