If you liked this video, don't forget to help us share this video! Lets do this together! P.S If you want to learn more about what to say to someone who is in pain or struggling, watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/frSClA4GUMM/v-deo.html
1. It could be worse 1:12 2. It wasn't that bad 1:38 3. Let it go 2:08 4. You probably didn't understand 2:45 5. Stop thinking about it 3:16 6. We are not talking about this 3:41 7. I told you so 4:02 8. You are too sensitive 4:23 9. I know what you are going through 4:55 I hope I could help! :)
I once drove someone to depression by telling them "you wouldn't understand" I felt horrible for it and apologized the best I could. *How much your words affect others cannot be stressed enough* . please be considerate of feelings.
I have hurt peoples feelings without knowing that I had. I think a person‘s character should should be considered. I have apologized but really didn’t know what I had done so wrong and it left me trying to read that person‘s mind. I felt manipulated into apologizing for something I hadn’t done and I will never feel comfortable to be free to speak to that person without fear. Basically they pushed me away.
@@bernadette573 my friend is not a sensitive person though, she doesn't know I am a highly sensitive individual, and its a struggle for me that she said those words even though its already being me...
I think a lot of times intent and culture plays a huge role in these sayings. It doesnt make it okay of course but your intent behind saying some of these things really matter and the fact that you're willing to step back and have the self awareness to say "oh dang. I've said these things before and maybe they're wrong...I'll make an honest effort to not say them anymore" is proof enough that you're a good hearted person with good intentions. Dont be too hard on yourself. We're all learning and trying and I think that's beautiful ❤❤❤❤
@@blainefiasco8225 oh for sure! I've always believed that...but I cant tell you how many people I've come across that are seemingly just...ready to be offended and coming from a position of context and intention dont matter. I just didnt want the commenter feeling badly about ever trying to come from a genuine place ❤
Don't worry, because it depends who you are telling this to. For me, some of them sentences were what I needed to hear and helped me shake off some wrong thinking pattern. Especially 'it could be worse' always cheers me up.
The fact that I say the majority of these things to myself, but would never say it to another person BECAUSE I don’t want to invalidate them and their feelings is ✨astonishing✨.
I regularly tell myself it could be worse, it allows me to zoom out and see how unimportant that issue is. This helps me let it go and focus on more important matters, like the fact that the sun is shining and most things are pretty good. It always pulls me out of the pit of despair.
@@bramvanduijn8086 That sounds nice. Usually when I tell myself it could be worse, I invalidate my own feelings by making myself think that there are people who have worse lives so why does mine matter? Mine is irrelevant when it comes to theirs. I still believe that to this day.
@@charlieinthechocky9700 Yeah, that's a false comparison. You have to compare to how your life could be, not to other people. Let's say you stubbed your toe. You shouldn't say to yourself "Kids in africa are dying of Leprosy!" you should say to yourself "At least I'm not dying of leprosy!" Well, not exactly: First you should curse loudly and creatively, to reduce the pain and express yourself. Then take a moment to mourn the painless future you just lost, then blame the table for jumping out and attacking your toe, kick the table hurting your other foot, laugh at yourself for being dumb, and then tell yourself "At least I'm not dying of leprosy!".
This explains a lot about my childhood. I have older parents who would always tell us some of these when we had problems. My dad would always give us the "it could be worse" speech and bring up something from his terrible childhood. I know he means well but back then my sister and I felt like we could never be upset because our lives are better than his was. My mom was usually the "let it go" and "it's fine" type of person.
@@Kaitou1412Fangirl bruh i know my father uses his "i have to take care of my 5 siblings by myself" card but i never see people go THAT low still that card just hurts me because it has almost no bearing on my suffering
I am sick that pious minimizing me dribble about the man who complained he had no shoes, until he met someone with no feet. Oh, so I can never feel pain because someone else has it worse??? GAAK.
Oh god I feel you. My dad was a child in Nazi Germany and grew up there during WWII, and boy does he have some terrible stories. D: I *still* have issues asking for help or sympathy because if your parents were the type to say "You kids these days think *you* have it so rough..." and lived through something like that... yeah. :/
'Calm down!' no, don't say that- it makes people feel invalid for being upset. This has happened to me many times. Because of that, I hid my feelings for a while. Don't let it happen to you. Please. Stay safe and take your time with your emotions!💕
I was recently told calm down in a situation and it really hurt. When I saw the notification of this video I was hoping it would be one of the ones mentioned. Sill this video made so many valid points!
I get told to calm down all the time and it just upsets me more. I just go ok then shut up. Ive never been allowed to express my emotions as a kid so why should i now?
@@crashtest0165 personally, I just listen do whoever's hurting. You can say something like 'hey, I'm here for you, it's ok to cry' Stay safe, and you matter! 💕
What works for me is the simple phrase "I hear you". It let's the person know that you are listening with empathy and an open heart. Hope this helps someone!
"Let it go" --> my relatives tell me this shit all time. Thanks, but NO. I ain't sweeping the dirt under the rug. I'm dumping it until all in me is clean!
There are certain things in this world we can’t just “let go”. We wouldn’t have things like civil rights or even America if we “Let go” of certain things in history.
I'm really proud of you even tho I've never met you .. and I absolutely agree with you .. sweeping the dirt under the rug would only make it worse .. God bless you ❤️ and have a nice day ❤️
Another one that I find INCREDIBLY hurtful is "it's all in your head" or "maybe it's just your thoughts and not the reality". It comes to tell that the person's worries are not real or/and unnecessary. Since it's not something they can't comprehend or physicalize easily, they're brushing it off as imagination and say "since the subject doesnt have any proof to be real, hence isn't real, your problem isn't real either"
When someone says that you; just go full solipsist and kill them lol. I mean you have no real proof they aren't just a figment of your imagination anyway. (Disclaimer: this is a joke)
I personally hate “I have/had it worse.” And “This person has the same mental health issue as you but they’re not being a baby about it.” Those are the worst invalidations I’ve had.
Why? A lot of people have legitimately horrible lives. You shouldn't act out about every little thing. It's not invalidating, it's a wake up call. Get over yourself.
Sounds like you're also coping with some negative energy. Maybe find someone else to share your thoughts with. I don't think you're a baby, I think you're coping. I hope you find a solution! Best wishes.
Exactly! These statements are some of the most cruel. Maybe unintentional but still inflicts harm. I want to slap people who say things like, "Well I had depression too but I could still get to work on time." I even heard coworkers saying that our pregnant coworker was overreacting about her difficulties, because they themselves didn't experience them when they were pregnant. I think of it like, some people get a headache when they get a cold. Some people don't. No one experiences health conditions the same way.
This is what should be taught at school, since so many parents are absent or not able to provide a good environment for their kids. Schools should reinforce this kind of awareness.
I actually feel better when someone says they get what I'm going through, bc I know they mean it and it helps me feel less alone. It's not always a BAD thing.
Yeah, that last one is questionable, if they say, "I know what you're going through" and start talking about themselves, it's hurtful, if they say, "I know what you're going through" and start trying to console you, it's nice.
It depends. If you start talking about your experience to take away from the other person's problem, then it is invalidating and not at all helpful. If you start talking about your experience as a way to give the other person hope that they can and will get out of their situation, I don't understand how that's a bad thing.
'Your to sensetive' Tell that to my 'friends' who pranked me Every. Single. Day which then I got a bit of paranoia and trust issues wait I forgot just sprinkle a tiny bit of anger issues as well oh wait I forgot silly me we should add two buckets of 'Wanting to get rid of my emotions' oh wait-no yep you get the aftermath of 'Your to sensetive' (the aftermath is different for everyone this is what happened to me)
Aw, sorry to hear that! The people who 'prank' you everyday aren't truly friends. Hopefully you are able to get away from the people who aren't treating you right.
My brother always says that to me and him and my mom are always guilty of the just drop it or let it go one. Also turn the page which is like a move on or let it go, my teachers are always guilty of that one.
the moment I found out my cat died, I was in school and the person sitting next to me told me "don't worry about it" like "wow, thanks I feel so much better now" :|
as i watch this video, i realized that my entire life, my family has been using these phrases before and it has lead me to always getting mad at myself for not interacting with my family bc i dont fell connected to them. now i realized that my reactions to them are actually quite normal bc of the invalidation they've given me.
I'm watching this video right after my mom screamed at me saying that i am useless She really doesn't care about my fellings, i'm not okay but she just say that i'm too sensitive She just want things to be on her way but sometimes i don't feel like i'm living for myself I hate when she screams at me, she dont even think if the words she's saying will affect me. She hates when i go to my room when she's screaming, what she wants? I don't want to listen to people screaming how useless or dumb i am I know that, my mind say that to me everyday
My mom is the same to especially using religious nonsense to not only impose hell threats but also enforceable reminder of my place even though I am a grown woman and lacks of independence to think for myself and I certainly don't agree with her beliefs .
I have mother like that. Try to get yourself out of that environment as soon as you can like moving out. It's easier said than done right now but if you've recognised the damage, i hope you'll do something about it. Being under such influence in the long-term (like i did) really incapacitates a person. You deserve to bloom as a full human being.
I actually like saying “it could be worse “ to myself! It’s a good way to get over self absorption and pity for your problems. We all need a little mental toughness sometimes! Push forward
My secondary school hired some pretentious motivational workshop to "prep" us once we graduate, and instead the speaker SCREAMED at us for being "ungrateful" with the life we're lucky to have and that "other people had it worse but are coping better" than us, and we were sobbing our eyes out as this total stranger accuses us being rotten teenagers. She compared us, people who probably don't have close parental ties or happy home lives, to some car accident victim who 'only cries in self pity for five minutes', like wow, thanks for invalidating our emotions just because we're not a car accident victims and just students under a ton of stress. Whatever the workshop's company stood for did not age well and is just trash.
The phrase "it could be worse" has been used towards people like me for years; by which, my mean people with Hydrocephalus. Some people tell us "it could be worse, at least you're alive" or "at least you have it easier compared to others with such a condition." No matter which phrase you use or HOW you use it, it doesn't change the fact that there are certain hurtles we might not be able to reach in life...like, ever. As for "just let it go," I may be in my mid-30's now...but I'm still haunted by the years of schoolyard bullying I endured since I was in 6th Grade. From that point right up to my Senior Year of High School; I was teased, harassed, mocked for my special needs, pushed around and one time, a student soaked a paper towel in a urinal that wasn't flushed and tossed into the stall I was in (which managed to hit me in the head and soak me a little.) I was finally able to leave that all behind me, after graduation but...the memories of all that STILL haunt me
My parents use all of these on me repeatedly. I know they love me, and I know they’re trying to help me now but they left me so broken I don’t know if I’ll ever trust them again.
I have had people in my life say things that did not help me at all, like "just don't think about it". I decided not to talk to anyone anymore because the dumb things they said just made me feel angry. I got on UA-cam and looked up videos about what I was going through and finally I was hearing what I needed to hear from people who really understood my situation because they had or were going through it too. Those videos helped me 1000 times more than anything the people I know ever said to me.
we need a video talking about what to say instead of using toxic positivity, because everyone needs to know what's the difference between toxic positivity and encouragement.
Saying that it could be worse is a great way to get a person realized how good they really have it. To not be selfish. To not pity themselves. Looking on the Brightside keeps you from being depressed.
I think when you mention “it could be worse” in reality it is very helpful to me, especially when I’ve been in an accident. I’m so grateful that I lived through it!
Oh yea! The last time I experienced this with my dad I finally had the guts to tell him to stop disparaging me. He was speechless for a few minutes because he was not expecting me to say that.
If someone is going through a rough time. Sometimes not saying anything is more helpful, active listening is important. Being heard makes a person feel validated. I try to never give my opinion and stay objective.
Saying let it go is extremely useful. Winding your set up something that you can't control is mentally taxing and stressful. Being able to let an issue go sometimes is a far better than harping on something and making everyone around you miserable.
When someone says, "hope you feel better soon", it gives a sense that the person wanted to see the person struggling feel better as soon as possible, which is not the greatest because everyone goes through emotions at a different pace, and it puts pressure for the person who is struggling to try and overcome it quicker.
Problems are like icebergs, you never know how big someone else's problem is until you face it yourself. So don't say 'It could be worse' or 'It wasn't that bad'. It might seem minor to u but massive to the people facing it.
I feel it is OK to tell someone "it could be worse" because it helps people to put their situation into perspective and to be grateful for what it is going well and to see the postives in ANY situation. I believe its HOW it is said that matters. As long as it is said in a warm and supportive way, it is helpful. Basically, all anyone can to help someone else is show empathy and validate their feelings.
Astounding I’ve been saying this for years. One statement I abide by. ‘Let it out’. Allow people to vent even if you can’t help them being heard is the most important thing. Just listen. You can’t let it go until you let it out. Only way to move on xx Only insensitive people say you’re too sensitive. Thank you Psych2Go ❤️ 🙏
instead of saying ‘i know what you’re going through’ i say ‘i don’t know what you going through but i understand that it hurt/make you sad so if you wanna talk about it i’m always there for you.’ i find this works really nicely and people appreciate it. hope someone can use this :)
Thank you! I hate when people say it could be worse. I have spinal deformities that have resulted in my whole spine being metal rods and screws. I have very bad pain days and some days feel dread and depression to go on. When someone says it could be worse I want to yell at them because it makes me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do. Yes I could have my limbs amputated or be in an abusive situation I can’t exit from, but it doesn’t devalue my experience. everything could always be worse, but that doesn’t mean its not an unsettling, painful or any other depressing adjective to that specific person experiencing it. We as people need to be more empathetic. Unless you’re experienced that situation you can’t say you understand it because you can’t and don’t.
" Let it go." Yes, I've always really disliked being told that, especially when it's the person who hurt you is telling you to "let it go" without even apologizing
on a counter argument, there is tough love u get and give as a family member or close friend. being "too supportive" or comforting, can make one too trusting to others. sadly this is a dark and dangerous world, warning and education from peers can go a long way for emotional survival.
Honestly this video made me feel alot better. I found out my best friend had been lying to me and when confronted tem about it they admitted it, said alot of these things, then blocked me. Devastated me but this video helped me a bit today
I very much want to teach the people who psychologically invalidate me about psychological invalidation but I think all I will get back is “you’re weak” and people will call me crybaby.
I had what I thought was a good friend until she subtley started saying things like, 'you're going to make ME look bad by eating that', 'I don't want to hear that', and other things that I couldn't put my finger on, but made me feel unsure of myself. We emailed back and forth as well as going to lunch every month. She sent me an email after our last lunch that said, 'you probably won't be hearing from me, unless I have something to say', 'my life is SO boring'. I guess she thought I would say something like, 'oh, did I say or do something?' I said, 'you got it'! It's been 7 years since we've spoken. I don't take kindly to disguised insults or disrespect that I don't deserve!
I've broken down in front of my dad a few times now, and every time we talk it out I feel a little better but it's always temporary. I just feel like things are still unresolved, like our talks aren't actually helping. He always says "I'm not trying to invalidate you..." and I know he doesn't, but it seems like it always goes back to "when I was your age, I went through this". He means well, so I can never tell him that those stories just don't help. They make me feel guilty for feeling this way about minor problems. What's worse, they make me feel like I shouldn't even be on one of these videos. Just needed somewhere to vent. The video was calming and informative as always. :) thanks psych2go team
This video was very helpful as it adds another layer of understanding to an ongoing conflict in my life. I especially appreciated the mention of alternate ways to approach things when you find yourself about to say one of these phrases. I can remember what not to say, but forget what to say instead in the moment. I’d like to learn more “use this, not that” phrases for these types of moments.
"You don't really mean that" especially as a response to sharing suicidal thoughts. I tend to keep my thoughts and feelings very close to me, because I expect people to hurt more than help. But one time when I did decide to open up to someone (who was supposed to be a sort of coach at a treatment center) their response to my suicidal thoughts was to say things to the effect of "that's not a healthy mindset" & "but that won't solve anything." That definitely validated some of my worst fears around how I thought/expected people to react. Thankfully, I've found people since then who are much better at holding a space for me around those topics.
I've constantly been not taken seriously, invalidated, belittled ETC during my childhood, including by family members. To a point I'm always insecure, doubting my own feelings not only on the level if it is ok to have them but even so far as doubt their very existence, thinking the fault has to be me..... So thanks for this video. Hearing theses common subtle phrases over and over again, especially from those people that should really care for you is far from being innocent. Not the only problem I struggle with, but they can be really damaging. So thanks for everyone who is interested enough to watch this video and to be willing to avoid these. It can be really hard to constantly questions you own thoughts and feelings and perception of a situation... Thanks for your content anyway @psych2go
Wow.....my mom always tells me at least one of these phrases every day and it makes me keep my thoughts and problems to myself making me so distant from my family that now we're literally strangers .
Thanks. I'll have to tell my sister this. We've had completely different experiences in life and she just lacks empathy and compassion. My dad died and she says get over it..
"You probably didn't understand," definitely triggered me the most. My parents always used that one in situations where they weren't even there. It's irritating and kinda painful but there is some benefits to this phrase. I'm able to think of situations from different angles now so that's not a bad thing. But yeah, it does make me feel like I'm unable to think for myself and it did leave me open to an abusive relationship because I always assume that I must be in the wrong. So, yeah, probably not the best way of doing things.
In my childhood I was very often called as too sensitive. It hurted me very much, so I hid my feelings. I thought showing my emotions will be seen as weakness, but I just added to my suffering
i say all these to myself ignoring my issues and treat everyone so good that they take advantage of mine... so if any of yyou does that too yall can start writing about your issues in a journal or diary and get on a journey of loving yourself whether it take years do it. you can and i believe in u :)
When I go whining like crazy to my friend and she says " It could be worse .At least you have ........" It actually helps me get things into perspective. It calms me down .
My narc mom used to say that all the time. She also used that phrase to anyone I talk to - my friends, hostel warden etc. Even when dad beat me out so badly for taking food ( I was 29, independent), and my mom jus said I'm feeling bad coz I'm too sensitive otherwise his physical abuses are not new for me to complain about.
3- 4- 5 and 9 were all things my friend told me when I was opening up to her abt a dark time I was going through. It made it so much worse bc I was trusting her with my feelings and she ended up making me feel..invalidated and like my feelings were small/ weren't real. Even though I was really doing my best at the time. Don't mind me im just venting .
The "it could be worse" is literally so terrible. Like how is it comforting to hear that other people have it worse than you???? But all of these are horrible. A lot of these get said to me on a regular basis and it's infuriating cuz its always from the people i feel I should be able to trust the most. But after years and years of hearing stuff like this, I've learned that it doesn't help, so I don't ever use them (except that last one, I think I might be guilty of that. Can't remember, but its smth worth watching myself over to make sure I'm not hurting anyone)
Let It Go, is one of the most unintentional validation killers that I’ve seen in my life. Rather let it in, as it let it go through, and think of what lesson it is supposed to teach you about. Let in also, the positive things that help counteract with those negative thoughts, in order to strengthen your mind for a more positive perspective, so it would be more clear to see and find out on what to take from the experience of whatever situation it’s in
Just because someone else is going through something worse than you, that doesn’t make your pain any less real. We’re all going to have tough enough times without feeling guilty about how we feel. Please take care of yourselves out there! You are all loved 💛
Hey that's me! But only because I say all those things to myself and it really helps me to overcome bad experiences and look forward. I always acknowledge my feelings but understand that the sooner I move on the better and it infuriates me when other people can't see that.
Friend betrayed me. She abandoned me out of the blue. Later meeting her, she blamed me for being "underdeveloped" and claimed her *spiritual superiority* and attempted to shame me for not being over her actions and told me to "Just let it go.", for what used to be for me, a deep loving bond of friendship. That was cruel. I hope she evolves one day to possess a hint of courtesy, empathy and humility.
We really need to be reminded that emotions are valid no matter what! Thank you so much for this video! For one of your next videos, could you make a list of things to say INSTEAD when someone else is going through a tough situation?
Yeah, I've had something like that happen to me. My brother died from cancer and someone told me that it's not as bad as their relative committing suicide and I will never forget how sh*tty that was.
Thank you so much for this video! I've been told some of these things *a lot* by the people I love the most in my life who just had good intentions. I've kept blaming myself for feeling horrible after I got these advices as if I was too stubborn. People who say these things are not bad. They just don't understand how hurtful these sayings can be to someone in pain.
reasonable responses (depending on the context) 1. It could be worse - it could also be a lot better but it's not, because you are selfish 2. It wasn't that bad - can you tell how my shoes fit me? No? Then you can't tell me how bad it was. 3. Let it go - I am going to let YOU go, instead 4. You probably didn't understand - I understand you are trying to deny your actions and what your real intentions were, which means you are either in denial or intentionally lying. 5. Stop thinking about it - that might benefit you, but doesn't benefit me. 6. We are not talking about this - that you refuse to acknowledge your behaviour or how abusive it is, doesn't change reality 7. I told you so - you did, but you omitted important information to your own benefit. 8. You are too sensitive - you are insensitive 9. I know what you are going through - no you actually do not, but I sure wish you did, then you might not be so arrogant.
@@avipsa3552 thank you but it's not good being called mature as a kid :( I hate being called mature because it's kinda like someone telling you that you grew up too quickly. People don't see it as a good thing mostly poeple with trauma (like me). But this is very heart warming compared to the other meaning :)
@@kiwii1027 people who see it as something bad needs to fix it...yeah they can have their own opinion but they can't just dump it on someone without properly knowing them if their comments/opinion are not even supportive to the least...and don't feel guilty or bad for those comments...it feels bad, I understand, but try to appreciate yourself more...after all it's you and your life at the end of the day
Let it go is one of the worst pieces of advice to give. You want to get rid of the bad feelings in a way that will do the least damage to other people, not just bottle it up and pretend it never happened.
If you liked this video, don't forget to help us share this video! Lets do this together! P.S If you want to learn more about what to say to someone who is in pain or struggling, watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/frSClA4GUMM/v-deo.html
first???
You forgot to pin the comment❤️❤️❤️🌝
👇👇👇👇👇❤️ua-cam.com/video/A5GDYfV2NSQ/v-deo.html
To anyone who ends up finding this,
Just remember you are loved, you are beautiful and you are amazing
Never give up ❤️
"others have it worse than you" well thanks, now I feel depressed *and* guilty.
So true
My reply is " yes and ? "
what do I even say to that. in some degree it's true but we aren't talking about other people we are talking about the now!
I've been trying to explain that to people for years.
Exactly! Just because someone had their leg ripped off by a shark today doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt when you step on a Lego!
“Don’t judge someone for the choices they make when you don’t know the options they had to choose from.” 🙏🏽
this is so true, whenever I judged someone after a while I found myself in a very similar situation!
Thank you!
This is true 🙏🏾
Straight in the archive, thank you! I really needed this!!
Wisdom.
1. It could be worse 1:12
2. It wasn't that bad 1:38
3. Let it go 2:08
4. You probably didn't understand 2:45
5. Stop thinking about it 3:16
6. We are not talking about this 3:41
7. I told you so 4:02
8. You are too sensitive 4:23
9. I know what you are going through 4:55
I hope I could help! :)
Ty
ty
Thank You time traveler!
Thanks
You did! Thank You Dat Boi! :D!
Let's just take a moment to thank the Psych2Go team for uploading everyday
Thank you so much! We are trying our best :) - Cindy
@@Psych2go everything is noted. Ill try not to say these to my friends again.
Thank you psych2go
Yes thank you
Just as I'm about to say.
“I know how you feel” personally gives me comfort. I like to hear someone else so I don’t feel so alone .
i tend to say "the same thing happened to me" and then let them talk.
What? So you don't care what people say?
@@Nekotaku_TV what now
did you even read what that dude said? lmao
Same!
Oh- i hear that as an insult
I once drove someone to depression by telling them "you wouldn't understand"
I felt horrible for it and apologized the best I could. *How much your words affect others cannot be stressed enough* . please be considerate of feelings.
“Words cannot be forgotten but they can be forgiven”
its so good that u tried to apologize :)
Thing is you know not to do that again!
That was very insightful of you, most people wouldn't give it a thought, kind that you cared.
I have hurt peoples feelings without knowing that I had. I think a person‘s character should should be considered. I have apologized but really didn’t know what I had done so wrong and it left me trying to read that person‘s mind. I felt manipulated into apologizing for something I hadn’t done and I will never feel comfortable to be free to speak to that person without fear. Basically they pushed me away.
You never know what another person could be going through - if you choose to be anything, choose to be kind 🤗
I agree
yes!! i could’ve said it better myself!!
Kind is not always coddling
Kindness doesn't cost a thing.
So be kind, always
@@janhavibansal Excactly
You forgot one:
"Stop being so dramatic."
That shit makes my blood boil SO HARD.
Also,
" Stop with the tragedy"
Sounds like you’re being dramatic
Oh, you are so right on that one.
"Stop being so emotional."
I've heard this one from my friend and I still remember it clearly lmao, my bad.
yea someone once stole my art and i got so mad and i got told to stop being so dramatic
My friend in grade 6 used to tell me that I am too sensitive, and she said if I am sensitive I look weak, until this day those words haunts me...
she is not the one who can confirm that "you are weak" everybody has their own limits
Ikr
@@sujuk_8 I guess you're right, she doesn't know how I feel when she told me that
She may have been repeating what her parents or an older sibling said to her when she was "too sensitive" herself.
@@bernadette573 my friend is not a sensitive person though, she doesn't know I am a highly sensitive individual, and its a struggle for me that she said those words even though its already being me...
That moment when you realize everytime you were trying to be supportive and offering a word of encouragement you were actually doing it wrong...😭
I think a lot of times intent and culture plays a huge role in these sayings. It doesnt make it okay of course but your intent behind saying some of these things really matter and the fact that you're willing to step back and have the self awareness to say "oh dang. I've said these things before and maybe they're wrong...I'll make an honest effort to not say them anymore" is proof enough that you're a good hearted person with good intentions. Dont be too hard on yourself. We're all learning and trying and I think that's beautiful ❤❤❤❤
@@laur131306 true, thanks for your words! 💙
Well, like they said. Context matter. Just saying these isn't by itself a bad thing
@@blainefiasco8225 oh for sure! I've always believed that...but I cant tell you how many people I've come across that are seemingly just...ready to be offended and coming from a position of context and intention dont matter. I just didnt want the commenter feeling badly about ever trying to come from a genuine place ❤
Don't worry, because it depends who you are telling this to. For me, some of them sentences were what I needed to hear and helped me shake off some wrong thinking pattern. Especially 'it could be worse' always cheers me up.
"It's all in your head" is just like saying "I don't want to hear/see it out here, so keep it up there."
Yes, that one was missed. Of course, it is all in my head. That is where I think and feel.
that's something i heard over and over from my ex.
It's not only invalidating, it can even be crazymaking.
@@waslias Isn't that the truth. If I couldn't find things that funny, I'd be in very bad shape. Sometimes, I am. But not today.
The fact that I say the majority of these things to myself, but would never say it to another person BECAUSE I don’t want to invalidate them and their feelings is ✨astonishing✨.
I regularly tell myself it could be worse, it allows me to zoom out and see how unimportant that issue is. This helps me let it go and focus on more important matters, like the fact that the sun is shining and most things are pretty good. It always pulls me out of the pit of despair.
@@bramvanduijn8086 That sounds nice. Usually when I tell myself it could be worse, I invalidate my own feelings by making myself think that there are people who have worse lives so why does mine matter? Mine is irrelevant when it comes to theirs. I still believe that to this day.
@@charlieinthechocky9700 Yeah, that's a false comparison. You have to compare to how your life could be, not to other people.
Let's say you stubbed your toe. You shouldn't say to yourself "Kids in africa are dying of Leprosy!" you should say to yourself "At least I'm not dying of leprosy!" Well, not exactly: First you should curse loudly and creatively, to reduce the pain and express yourself. Then take a moment to mourn the painless future you just lost, then blame the table for jumping out and attacking your toe, kick the table hurting your other foot, laugh at yourself for being dumb, and then tell yourself "At least I'm not dying of leprosy!".
@@bramvanduijn8086 True true, thanks for making me laugh. 😂
That's such a good point!
This explains a lot about my childhood. I have older parents who would always tell us some of these when we had problems. My dad would always give us the "it could be worse" speech and bring up something from his terrible childhood. I know he means well but back then my sister and I felt like we could never be upset because our lives are better than his was. My mom was usually the "let it go" and "it's fine" type of person.
god this
i can feel it and it hurts all too well
@@Kaitou1412Fangirl bruh i know my father uses his "i have to take care of my 5 siblings by myself" card but i never see people go THAT low
still that card just hurts me because it has almost no bearing on my suffering
Point is problems that seem trivial to one person aren't to another!
I am sick that pious minimizing me dribble about the man who complained he had no shoes, until he met someone with no feet. Oh, so I can never feel pain because someone else has it worse??? GAAK.
Oh god I feel you. My dad was a child in Nazi Germany and grew up there during WWII, and boy does he have some terrible stories. D: I *still* have issues asking for help or sympathy because if your parents were the type to say "You kids these days think *you* have it so rough..." and lived through something like that... yeah. :/
'Calm down!' no, don't say that- it makes people feel invalid for being upset. This has happened to me many times. Because of that, I hid my feelings for a while. Don't let it happen to you. Please. Stay safe and take your time with your emotions!💕
I was recently told calm down in a situation and it really hurt. When I saw the notification of this video I was hoping it would be one of the ones mentioned. Sill this video made so many valid points!
I get told to calm down all the time and it just upsets me more. I just go ok then shut up. Ive never been allowed to express my emotions as a kid so why should i now?
I'm guilty of this. I don't even know what to say as an alternative. Do I not say anything at all?
@@crashtest0165 personally, I just listen do whoever's hurting. You can say something like 'hey, I'm here for you, it's ok to cry' Stay safe, and you matter! 💕
@@Celeste-jh2lj you should express yourself because you matter! 💕
I may not know exactly how you feel, but I will be always there when you need me. Heartwarming words
What works for me is the simple phrase "I hear you".
It let's the person know that you are listening with empathy and an open heart. Hope this helps someone!
"Let it go" --> my relatives tell me this shit all time. Thanks, but NO. I ain't sweeping the dirt under the rug. I'm dumping it until all in me is clean!
YES I cant stand the “let it go” and “don’t let it live rent-free in your head” rhetoric!
There are certain things in this world we can’t just “let go”. We wouldn’t have things like civil rights or even America if we “Let go” of certain things in history.
I'm really proud of you even tho I've never met you .. and I absolutely agree with you .. sweeping the dirt under the rug would only make it worse .. God bless you ❤️ and have a nice day ❤️
@Pierrot(CVB) Saying "Let it go" lacks real understanding SO aggravating when most people say that..I don't really fuck with people because of that!!
Perhaps the person does need to let a matter go but they will do so when they are good and ready!
Another one that I find INCREDIBLY hurtful is "it's all in your head" or "maybe it's just your thoughts and not the reality". It comes to tell that the person's worries are not real or/and unnecessary. Since it's not something they can't comprehend or physicalize easily, they're brushing it off as imagination and say "since the subject doesnt have any proof to be real, hence isn't real, your problem isn't real either"
But it is all in our heads, that's where mental issues come from? It doesn't make it less real to experience.
When someone says that you; just go full solipsist and kill them lol.
I mean you have no real proof they aren't just a figment of your imagination anyway.
(Disclaimer: this is a joke)
@@Arkhs Maybe I would (I mean emotionally) but I cant since it's my f....... family
"It's all in your head" Yes it is, where do you think my brain is? My arm?
I personally hate “I have/had it worse.” And “This person has the same mental health issue as you but they’re not being a baby about it.” Those are the worst invalidations I’ve had.
ikr it makes me feel more worse like i could've done better but i didn't
Why? A lot of people have legitimately horrible lives. You shouldn't act out about every little thing. It's not invalidating, it's a wake up call. Get over yourself.
Lord Starkiller is the case in point.
Sounds like you're also coping with some negative energy. Maybe find someone else to share your thoughts with. I don't think you're a baby, I think you're coping. I hope you find a solution! Best wishes.
Exactly! These statements are some of the most cruel. Maybe unintentional but still inflicts harm. I want to slap people who say things like, "Well I had depression too but I could still get to work on time."
I even heard coworkers saying that our pregnant coworker was overreacting about her difficulties, because they themselves didn't experience them when they were pregnant.
I think of it like, some people get a headache when they get a cold. Some people don't.
No one experiences health conditions the same way.
Psych2go has protected my mental health when it's on the brink of collapse. Thank you very much i don't know how many other lives you saved
Thank you! We hoped to help a lot of people. - Cindy
Give them money then bet you wont
@@helmetmcbarin that’s rude :(
@@helmetmcbarin Not everyone can give money 🤦. How hard is it to understand?
@@DUMRATBOY ik right because giving people money has always been so rude right!?
This is what should be taught at school, since so many parents are absent or not able to provide a good environment for their kids. Schools should reinforce this kind of awareness.
My dad says that they should teach this in school too
I actually feel better when someone says they get what I'm going through, bc I know they mean it and it helps me feel less alone. It's not always a BAD thing.
Yeah, that last one is questionable, if they say, "I know what you're going through" and start talking about themselves, it's hurtful, if they say, "I know what you're going through" and start trying to console you, it's nice.
It depends. If you start talking about your experience to take away from the other person's problem, then it is invalidating and not at all helpful. If you start talking about your experience as a way to give the other person hope that they can and will get out of their situation, I don't understand how that's a bad thing.
Lesson I learned: Don't try to uplift or help someone with words, because it will only make them feel worse.
That's true. People just need to 'spill' sometimes. I am getting better at just listening and not trying to come up with a helpful phrase.
'Your to sensetive'
Tell that to my 'friends' who pranked me Every. Single. Day which then I got a bit of paranoia and trust issues wait I forgot just sprinkle a tiny bit of anger issues as well oh wait I forgot silly me we should add two buckets of 'Wanting to get rid of my emotions' oh wait-no yep you get the aftermath of 'Your to sensetive' (the aftermath is different for everyone this is what happened to me)
Aw, sorry to hear that! The people who 'prank' you everyday aren't truly friends. Hopefully you are able to get away from the people who aren't treating you right.
An understandable situation
@@Psych2go Thank You! I was able to get away from them and I managed to make new friends!
My brother always says that to me and him and my mom are always guilty of the just drop it or let it go one. Also turn the page which is like a move on or let it go, my teachers are always guilty of that one.
@@Psych2go this is a false friend effectively, but yes you said wat I wanted to say 🤗
Stuff like this is what makes the world better
Indeed...
Kindness is a gift, that all people can have, but can't always find it.
Try your best to be nice to everyone!
the moment I found out my cat died, I was in school and the person sitting next to me told me "don't worry about it" like "wow, thanks I feel so much better now" :|
you're too sensitive for feeling terrible when one of the people you love most dies /s
jesus christ people are cruel
@@Ray-cr9wg I agree, they seem to think they're reliable sensors.
Sorry your cat died.
@@crashtest0165 wow how hard was it for that person to say that? 🤦🏽♀️🙃
@@-criedjupiter-8464 what else are they supposed to say
as i watch this video, i realized that my entire life, my family has been using these phrases before and it has lead me to always getting mad at myself for not interacting with my family bc i dont fell connected to them. now i realized that my reactions to them are actually quite normal bc of the invalidation they've given me.
I'm watching this video right after my mom screamed at me saying that i am useless
She really doesn't care about my fellings, i'm not okay but she just say that i'm too sensitive
She just want things to be on her way but sometimes i don't feel like i'm living for myself
I hate when she screams at me, she dont even think if the words she's saying will affect me.
She hates when i go to my room when she's screaming, what she wants? I don't want to listen to people screaming how useless or dumb i am
I know that, my mind say that to me everyday
My mom is the same to especially using religious nonsense to not only impose hell threats but also enforceable reminder of my place even though I am a grown woman and lacks of independence to think for myself and I certainly don't agree with her beliefs .
I'm sorry you're ii those situations. Find understanding and comforting adults who will help you.
@@starmelodyelizabethb7380 I am sorry. Hope you find understanding and kind allies. Religious "rantings" can be so hurtful! 😠
@@shirleyjeannite5724 Thank you and I'm still doing some therapeutic breathing to help
I have mother like that. Try to get yourself out of that environment as soon as you can like moving out. It's easier said than done right now but if you've recognised the damage, i hope you'll do something about it. Being under such influence in the long-term (like i did) really incapacitates a person. You deserve to bloom as a full human being.
I actually like saying “it could be worse “ to myself! It’s a good way to get over self absorption and pity for your problems. We all need a little mental toughness sometimes! Push forward
My secondary school hired some pretentious motivational workshop to "prep" us once we graduate, and instead the speaker SCREAMED at us for being "ungrateful" with the life we're lucky to have and that "other people had it worse but are coping better" than us, and we were sobbing our eyes out as this total stranger accuses us being rotten teenagers. She compared us, people who probably don't have close parental ties or happy home lives, to some car accident victim who 'only cries in self pity for five minutes', like wow, thanks for invalidating our emotions just because we're not a car accident victims and just students under a ton of stress. Whatever the workshop's company stood for did not age well and is just trash.
The phrase "it could be worse" has been used towards people like me for years; by which, my mean people with Hydrocephalus. Some people tell us "it could be worse, at least you're alive" or "at least you have it easier compared to others with such a condition."
No matter which phrase you use or HOW you use it, it doesn't change the fact that there are certain hurtles we might not be able to reach in life...like, ever.
As for "just let it go," I may be in my mid-30's now...but I'm still haunted by the years of schoolyard bullying I endured since I was in 6th Grade. From that point right up to my Senior Year of High School; I was teased, harassed, mocked for my special needs, pushed around and one time, a student soaked a paper towel in a urinal that wasn't flushed and tossed into the stall I was in (which managed to hit me in the head and soak me a little.)
I was finally able to leave that all behind me, after graduation but...the memories of all that STILL haunt me
"You’re not the only one who’s suffering".....pure invalidation statement
Oh my gosh I hate it when people say that too
@@connorg.3381 yaa same
My parents use all of these on me repeatedly. I know they love me, and I know they’re trying to help me now but they left me so broken I don’t know if I’ll ever trust them again.
I have had people in my life say things that did not help me at all, like "just don't think about it". I decided not to talk to anyone anymore because the dumb things they said just made me feel angry. I got on UA-cam and looked up videos about what I was going through and finally I was hearing what I needed to hear from people who really understood my situation because they had or were going through it too. Those videos helped me 1000 times more than anything the people I know ever said to me.
Never say "I'm Sorry" when Someone says that Their Child has Autism.
Why?
Bruce +1 I want to know why too so that i can be careful next time - is it because we should treat children with autism as normal children??
@@IWill4everBeSamurai Its about giving respect to the Person who has Autism and their Parents. Normal is a setting on the Dryer.
@@KellyClement Gotcha thank you!
what should someone say?
we need a video talking about what to say instead of using toxic positivity, because everyone needs to know what's the difference between toxic positivity and encouragement.
Saying that it could be worse is a great way to get a person realized how good they really have it. To not be selfish. To not pity themselves. Looking on the Brightside keeps you from being depressed.
Things to also never say:
‘Everything happens for a reason’ & ‘it’s God’s plan’ 🙄
Applies to covid
Yerk!😠
@@shelbycollins4995 Yerk!😠
Yup (T-T)
oh my-
Me realising I say such phrases on daily basis:
*Could be worse, huh.*
Couldn't be worse ^^
In reality...it really could be worse.
I think when you mention “it could be worse” in reality it is very helpful to me, especially when I’ve been in an accident. I’m so grateful that I lived through it!
I'm very guilty of saying "I know what you're going through". Will avoid it from now on 😊👍
"I had it tougher than you" so you can't vent to them about your issues, and instead they redirect the conversation about them and them only
Oh yea! The last time I experienced this with my dad I finally had the guts to tell him to stop disparaging me. He was speechless for a few minutes because he was not expecting me to say that.
If someone is going through a rough time. Sometimes not saying anything is more helpful, active listening is important. Being heard makes a person feel validated. I try to never give my opinion and stay objective.
My boyfriend is always telling me " You are too sensitive. He doesn't even know how to be sensitive.
Are you sure that you want this guy for your bf?
Some people are only sensitive to their own needs and wants but love to dismiss yours simply because your needs and wants aren't theirs.
Here’s a reminder to drink some water, check your posture, and that you look beautiful today!
♥️
Thank you, you too 🥲
That's so sweet ❤️thx
You don't know what people/I look like...
Thank you.
Saying let it go is extremely useful. Winding your set up something that you can't control is mentally taxing and stressful. Being able to let an issue go sometimes is a far better than harping on something and making everyone around you miserable.
When someone says, "hope you feel better soon", it gives a sense that the person wanted to see the person struggling feel better as soon as possible, which is not the greatest because everyone goes through emotions at a different pace, and it puts pressure for the person who is struggling to try and overcome it quicker.
Problems are like icebergs, you never know how big someone else's problem is until you face it yourself. So don't say 'It could be worse' or 'It wasn't that bad'. It might seem minor to u but massive to the people facing it.
People always use these phrases to invalidate your problems or experiences 😤
THANK YOU!!! I've come to synonymies "let go of it" with "I don't want to hear about your problems" and HATE HATE HATE that phrase!!!
I feel it is OK to tell someone "it could be worse" because it helps people to put their situation into perspective and to be grateful for what it is going well and to see the postives in ANY situation. I believe its HOW it is said that matters. As long as it is said in a warm and supportive way, it is helpful. Basically, all anyone can to help someone else is show empathy and validate their feelings.
Astounding I’ve been saying this for years. One statement I abide by. ‘Let it out’. Allow people to vent even if you can’t help them being heard is the most important thing. Just listen. You can’t let it go until you let it out. Only way to move on xx Only insensitive people say you’re too sensitive. Thank you Psych2Go ❤️ 🙏
instead of saying ‘i know what you’re going through’ i say ‘i don’t know what you going through but i understand that it hurt/make you sad so if you wanna talk about it i’m always there for you.’ i find this works really nicely and people appreciate it. hope someone can use this :)
Thank you! I hate when people say it could be worse. I have spinal deformities that have resulted in my whole spine being metal rods and screws. I have very bad pain days and some days feel dread and depression to go on. When someone says it could be worse I want to yell at them because it makes me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do. Yes I could have my limbs amputated or be in an abusive situation I can’t exit from, but it doesn’t devalue my experience.
everything could always be worse, but that doesn’t mean its not an unsettling, painful or any other depressing adjective to that specific person experiencing it. We as people need to be more empathetic. Unless you’re experienced that situation you can’t say you understand it because you can’t and don’t.
" Let it go." Yes, I've always really disliked being told that, especially when it's the person who hurt you is telling you to "let it go" without even apologizing
Number 6:
"We're not talking about this, or thiiis, we're talking about THIIIIIIIS!"
You pfp goes with this frase haha
Lol
I almost cried in the middle of the video cause people always tell me these , I love your videos c:
on a counter argument, there is tough love u get and give as a family member or close friend. being "too supportive" or comforting, can make one too trusting to others. sadly this is a dark and dangerous world, warning and education from peers can go a long way for emotional survival.
This completely explains why everyone seems to be at everyone else's throat now, because those things are all anybody ever says INCLUDING MYSELF
Honestly this video made me feel alot better. I found out my best friend had been lying to me and when confronted tem about it they admitted it, said alot of these things, then blocked me. Devastated me but this video helped me a bit today
Glad it did!🙂
I very much want to teach the people who psychologically invalidate me about psychological invalidation but I think all I will get back is “you’re weak” and people will call me crybaby.
I had what I thought was a good friend until she subtley started saying things like, 'you're going to make ME look bad by eating that', 'I don't want to hear that', and other things that I couldn't put my finger on, but made me feel unsure of myself. We emailed back and forth as well as going to lunch every month. She sent me an email after our last lunch that said, 'you probably won't be hearing from me, unless I have something to say', 'my life is SO boring'. I guess she thought I would say something like, 'oh, did I say or do something?' I said, 'you got it'! It's been 7 years since we've spoken. I don't take kindly to disguised insults or disrespect that I don't deserve!
I've broken down in front of my dad a few times now, and every time we talk it out I feel a little better but it's always temporary. I just feel like things are still unresolved, like our talks aren't actually helping. He always says "I'm not trying to invalidate you..." and I know he doesn't, but it seems like it always goes back to "when I was your age, I went through this". He means well, so I can never tell him that those stories just don't help. They make me feel guilty for feeling this way about minor problems. What's worse, they make me feel like I shouldn't even be on one of these videos.
Just needed somewhere to vent. The video was calming and informative as always. :) thanks psych2go team
This video was very helpful as it adds another layer of understanding to an ongoing conflict in my life. I especially appreciated the mention of alternate ways to approach things when you find yourself about to say one of these phrases. I can remember what not to say, but forget what to say instead in the moment. I’d like to learn more “use this, not that” phrases for these types of moments.
Is no one gonna talk about how soothing her voice is? 🥺😍✨
"You don't really mean that" especially as a response to sharing suicidal thoughts.
I tend to keep my thoughts and feelings very close to me, because I expect people to hurt more than help. But one time when I did decide to open up to someone (who was supposed to be a sort of coach at a treatment center) their response to my suicidal thoughts was to say things to the effect of "that's not a healthy mindset" & "but that won't solve anything." That definitely validated some of my worst fears around how I thought/expected people to react.
Thankfully, I've found people since then who are much better at holding a space for me around those topics.
I've constantly been not taken seriously, invalidated, belittled ETC during my childhood, including by family members. To a point I'm always insecure, doubting my own feelings not only on the level if it is ok to have them but even so far as doubt their very existence, thinking the fault has to be me..... So thanks for this video. Hearing theses common subtle phrases over and over again, especially from those people that should really care for you is far from being innocent. Not the only problem I struggle with, but they can be really damaging. So thanks for everyone who is interested enough to watch this video and to be willing to avoid these. It can be really hard to constantly questions you own thoughts and feelings and perception of a situation...
Thanks for your content anyway @psych2go
Wow.....my mom always tells me at least one of these phrases every day and it makes me keep my thoughts and problems to myself making me so distant from my family that now we're literally strangers .
Thanks. I'll have to tell my sister this. We've had completely different experiences in life and she just lacks empathy and compassion. My dad died and she says get over it..
That's messed up.
"You probably didn't understand," definitely triggered me the most. My parents always used that one in situations where they weren't even there. It's irritating and kinda painful but there is some benefits to this phrase. I'm able to think of situations from different angles now so that's not a bad thing. But yeah, it does make me feel like I'm unable to think for myself and it did leave me open to an abusive relationship because I always assume that I must be in the wrong. So, yeah, probably not the best way of doing things.
In my childhood I was very often called as too sensitive. It hurted me very much, so I hid my feelings. I thought showing my emotions will be seen as weakness, but I just added to my suffering
“ don’t take it personally”
When it says don’t say these things to anyone, that includes yourself.
I agreeeeeerrrree
i say all these to myself ignoring my issues and treat everyone so good that they take advantage of mine... so if any of yyou does that too yall can start writing about your issues in a journal or diary and get on a journey of loving yourself whether it take years do it. you can and i believe in u :)
When I go whining like crazy to my friend and she says " It could be worse .At least you have ........"
It actually helps me get things into perspective. It calms me down .
My ‘friend’ in grade 5 said
You are just too sensitive, it’s not a big deal.
And until now i still think that I’m just really sensitive.
Your never to sensitive...u feel what u feel.
My narc mom used to say that all the time. She also used that phrase to anyone I talk to - my friends, hostel warden etc. Even when dad beat me out so badly for taking food ( I was 29, independent), and my mom jus said I'm feeling bad coz I'm too sensitive otherwise his physical abuses are not new for me to complain about.
3- 4- 5 and 9 were all things my friend told me when I was opening up to her abt a dark time I was going through. It made it so much worse bc I was trusting her with my feelings and she ended up making me feel..invalidated and like my feelings were small/ weren't real. Even though I was really doing my best at the time.
Don't mind me im just venting .
The "it could be worse" is literally so terrible. Like how is it comforting to hear that other people have it worse than you???? But all of these are horrible. A lot of these get said to me on a regular basis and it's infuriating cuz its always from the people i feel I should be able to trust the most. But after years and years of hearing stuff like this, I've learned that it doesn't help, so I don't ever use them (except that last one, I think I might be guilty of that. Can't remember, but its smth worth watching myself over to make sure I'm not hurting anyone)
Let It Go, is one of the most unintentional validation killers that I’ve seen in my life. Rather let it in, as it let it go through, and think of what lesson it is supposed to teach you about. Let in also, the positive things that help counteract with those negative thoughts, in order to strengthen your mind for a more positive perspective, so it would be more clear to see and find out on what to take from the experience of whatever situation it’s in
The thumbnail just tells me
“Don’t sing let it go to a human if you’re a melted snowman, especially if they are in visible distress.”
Just because someone else is going through something worse than you, that doesn’t make your pain any less real. We’re all going to have tough enough times without feeling guilty about how we feel. Please take care of yourselves out there! You are all loved 💛
Hey that's me! But only because I say all those things to myself and it really helps me to overcome bad experiences and look forward. I always acknowledge my feelings but understand that the sooner I move on the better and it infuriates me when other people can't see that.
Friend betrayed me. She abandoned me out of the blue. Later meeting her, she blamed me for being "underdeveloped" and claimed her *spiritual superiority* and attempted to shame me for not being over her actions and told me to "Just let it go.", for what used to be for me, a deep loving bond of friendship. That was cruel.
I hope she evolves one day to possess a hint of courtesy, empathy and humility.
Like ,how whenever I'm good at something my friend:
She's like - how 'YOU' do this?
YES I hate it sm.. they be like “did you really do that” like yes I did that !! am I not good enough to do that or what ?
or some people are like; you know, once i did it like that everybody loved it
Yes, that one stings. I like to say, “Yes, I contain multitudes you don’t even know about yet.”
@@user-qm1lj7hx9c exactly like can't you just accept it that I'm good at it why make me fell bad
@@sujuk_8 yeah always hooked on their past achievements!🤷🏻
We really need to be reminded that emotions are valid no matter what! Thank you so much for this video! For one of your next videos, could you make a list of things to say INSTEAD when someone else is going through a tough situation?
I agree with this comment
Great suggestion! We will let the team know :D
Totally agree! Because we’re all unique, things affect us each in a unique way
" You are too sensitive." I've been told that a few times..... 😅 my response is that it's better to be "too sensitive" than being INSENSITIVE
"Smile" is a big no no. "Life is a gift" is also extremely rude.
"my problems are worse than yours" wins for me 🥴
Yeah, I've had something like that happen to me. My brother died from cancer and someone told me that it's not as bad as their relative committing suicide and I will never forget how sh*tty that was.
Words are powerful. Kind words are divine.
You forgot one other, 'Toughen up.'it really hurts when you get told that.
The fact that you shouldn’t say “I know how you’re feeling” came as a real surprise!
*Pov : You're just a guy with alzheimer who forgot he has Alzheimer and now remembers everything.*
HOWMMANYCOMMENTSAREYOUGOINGTOPOST
?????
Wait is that actually possible
If you're gonna use Alzheimer's to promote yourself that's pretty sick
I guess that supposed to be funny but with that profile name your comment seems inappropriate and out of place.
Thank you so much for this video!
I've been told some of these things *a lot* by the people I love the most in my life who just had good intentions. I've kept blaming myself for feeling horrible after I got these advices as if I was too stubborn. People who say these things are not bad. They just don't understand how hurtful these sayings can be to someone in pain.
reasonable responses (depending on the context)
1. It could be worse - it could also be a lot better but it's not, because you are selfish
2. It wasn't that bad - can you tell how my shoes fit me? No? Then you can't tell me how bad it was.
3. Let it go - I am going to let YOU go, instead
4. You probably didn't understand - I understand you are trying to deny your actions and what your real intentions were, which means you are either in denial or intentionally lying.
5. Stop thinking about it - that might benefit you, but doesn't benefit me.
6. We are not talking about this - that you refuse to acknowledge your behaviour or how abusive it is, doesn't change reality
7. I told you so - you did, but you omitted important information to your own benefit.
8. You are too sensitive - you are insensitive
9. I know what you are going through - no you actually do not, but I sure wish you did, then you might not be so arrogant.
The consistency of your uploads are just…… fabulous
For me it's
#1: "You are so mature for your age"
And that's actually your strength...be proud of it!!
Being mature is important nowadays
@@avipsa3552 thank you but it's not good being called mature as a kid :( I hate being called mature because it's kinda like someone telling you that you grew up too quickly. People don't see it as a good thing mostly poeple with trauma (like me). But this is very heart warming compared to the other meaning :)
@Ninjabunny Crochets true like seriously
@Ninjabunny Crochets aww...you don't have to thank me... rather I should thank you for existing and making this world so much better!!
@@kiwii1027 people who see it as something bad needs to fix it...yeah they can have their own opinion but they can't just dump it on someone without properly knowing them if their comments/opinion are not even supportive to the least...and don't feel guilty or bad for those comments...it feels bad, I understand, but try to appreciate yourself more...after all it's you and your life at the end of the day
Let it go is one of the worst pieces of advice to give. You want to get rid of the bad feelings in a way that will do the least damage to other people, not just bottle it up and pretend it never happened.
I actually find these words helpful to me.
I don't know why but it makes me feel grateful.