Narcissistic Wounded Hero Counselor & Compassion Fatigue | Trauma-Seeking Clinician
Вставка
- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- This video answers the questions: What is compassion fatigue? What is burnout? What is the narcissistic “wounded hero” counselor (trauma-seeking counselor)? The constructs of compassion fatigue, burnout, and secondary traumatic stress set the foundation for a risk that a counselor will violate boundaries. This occurrence, although rare, can have a devastating effect on clients because of vicarious trauma.
Kiley, K. A., Sehgal, A. R., Neth, S., Dolata, J., Pike, E., Spilsbury, J. C., & Albert, J. M. (2018). The Effectiveness of Guided Imagery in Treating Compassion Fatigue and Anxiety of Mental Health Workers. Social Work Research, 42(1), 33-43.
Turgoose, D., & Maddox, L. (2017). Predictors of compassion fatigue in mental health professionals: A narrative review. Traumatology, 23(2), 172-185.
Figley, C. R. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapists’ chronic lack of self-care. Journal of Clinical Psychology/In Session, 58, 1433-1441.
Ray, S. L., Wong, C., White, D., & Heaslip, K. (2013). Compassion satisfaction, compassion fatigue, work life conditions, and burnout among frontline mental health care professionals. Traumatology, 19(4), 255-267.
Totally fascinated by this one! An observation: in over 20 years as a massage therapist, I've had a number of mental health professionals as clients with what I've dubbed "sympathy neck". It's neck pain (enough to send some of these individuals to the doctor first) resulting from chronic overuse of the head tilt gesture indicating sympathy (I'm totally not kidding!). There's almost always an awareness that the gesture causes neck pain, but these individuals loose somatic awareness while in session with their patients/clients. I wonder if mental health clinicians ever get any coaching regarding somatic awareness/mindfulness while in session? It might help check the excessive affective empathy problem, imo.
They did not "ground" themselves
Hahahahaha. Now that is definitely not good to tilt the head as an act of sympathy. How ridiculous it that. This is definitely some type of social pressure behavior they think they have to tilt their heads to look sympathetic. But compassion in general is a Very Good thing. The world is already cold enough. We need the few compassionate people desperately.
I think I have this, because I developed migraines about a year into moving back in with my mum.
I’m honestly itching to move out simply to see if the migraines lessen or completely subside, because my theory atm is that she has been the cause of them. I never suffered from migraines before, but I’ve been incredibly stressed ever since living with her again. Instead of saving money, I acquired debt, because she demanded all my money and only recently paid about half of it back, and then wanted to pretend like she did me a favour when she put me in this situation in the first place/I could’ve paid it myself and had $1K leftover if she just paid me back. :/
I’m honestly just curious to see if it’ll go away once she does. I’m 99% sure it will at least become a less frequent occurrence, but if my migraines completely disappear after she goes away, I’ll be very happy and finally have evidence that she’s more harm than good in my life, which not many people believe because she has a “public” personality that’s very gentle and soft-spoken, which is nothing like what she is irl.
FLORENCE ARNOLD
INTERESTING!
@@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837 I sometimes find myself tilting my head while listening to someone talk, and I realize I am doing it and straighten up. It's a subconscious body language, it's not like a person is thinking, "ok they are starting to share deeply, time to tilt my head."
Nurses fairly often experience compassion fatigue
That’s why we sometimes get bitchy.
"Everybody wants to be a hero, but a hero carries all the pain."
I always tell my co workers that people coming in for services are there to lighten their load not carry ours.
Need more dr grandes. Reason being not many people are mindful even some professionals. When you speak it’s like you are conscious of every word you utter. You sound very genuine unlike some do it because it pays well.
Dr.Grande is the best!!! Trust me I've seen a few.
Taking the stigma out of needing help as a mental health professional would be helpful. The mental health professional culture doesn’t make it easy to ask for help. I wish this could change.
Nobody makes it easy, in ANY profession. We don't even talk a good game when it comes to mental health in the US.
One of my favourite psych lecturers shared the fact they had, for a time, chosen not to practice due to compassion fatigue. Her admission of vulnerability really drove home how important self work is for a clinician
As a client, I agree. This stigmatism is a major reason people don't seek help, you're assumed to be incompetent or unstable and your observations and opinions are discounted. It leaves one very vulnerable in society.
They all need help most of them are crazy and assholes 🤷🏽♂️
The trauma seeking clinicians are so difficult to deal with for me, I work with one. they enmesh with the clients and do much more then is asked and at the same time constantly complain about how burnt out they feel without doing anything to take care of themselves and act as if they are their clients saviors and they are a great counselor because they have horrible boundaries.
Thank you for helping me understand my " burnout" from working in a stressful healthcare position for many years.
One of my friends used to work for the social work dept, specifically with young children who were severely abused. She had to take a few months off work a couple of times after years on the job but then realised she couldn't do that particular line of work any more and moved to a different area of social care.
I genuinely admire people that devote their careers to helping others, particularly the most vulnerable in our society, but I couldn't personally handle that.
How do you manage to keep the balance yourself? Hobbies? Exercise? Reading? All of the previous? Lol. I read that you specialize in treating chemical dependancy and survivors of abuse so much respect to you for your great work and service to your patients.
Another fascinating glimpse into the world of mental healthcare professionals, thank you Doctor. Enjoy the rest of your week! ☺
Ps, any therapist crying in my sessions will get something to cry about! 😂 Pps, apologies for the essay! Lol! 😁
Ariana AJ Beaverhausen The crying thing is a little intimidating - I cant say whether I would cry or not during a session if I were a therapist. I certainly wouldn’t do it to dick-measure like the “wounded hero” type, but idk if I could control myself if I got triggered by a story that was similar to mine.
That’s why I probably shouldn’t do trauma work until I can control my reactions better. Then again, normally I’m not very emotionally expressive, but rarely it’ll happen that something really gets me and I can’t seem to control the reaction. >_>
I wouldn’t want to make someone’s situation worse, so maybe the best thing would be to do some other psych-related work until I’m able to pull myself together. Idk.
Wow, I know this all too well with therapists making sessions all about them.
A friend studying for her degree in psych encountered a professor who spent two class sessions talking mostly about his failed marriage. She was relieved to note that there would be a film instead of a lecture during the next session. Imagine her feelings when the film turned out to be a documentary about the professor's divorce.
@@jguenther3049 The worst therapist story I have ever heard. Now I know who trained my last psychologist. Lol!!!!
@@anitalassiter4266 There are much worse stories. Having said that, I just remembered a tale of a psychologist in training who decided, just for fun, to see if she could use her psych skills to unsettle a young woman she knew. She took opportunities to undermine the woman's faith in her relationship. Reality struck the psychologist hard when the woman announced she was going to divorce her husband. It suddenly stopped being a game and the psychologist had to back-pedal frantically to undo the damage she'd caused. There may be more to the story, if you follow me, but this was all my reliable source at a large university told me. You can understand why universities' elimination of the requirement for X hours of personal therapy for psych degree candidates is a horrifying development.
I have encountered these traits with therapists, medical professionals, mental health professionals, case managers, etc. Personally I think it's rather common and very detrimental to patients/clients... especially when you have a mental health diagnosis because you have no defense against it. I have PTSD from the mental health system that was supposed to help me heal, because of it. I appreciate it being explained in such a clear and detailed manner.
Thank you for the videos, it helps me understand my mental illness like PTSD, bipolar, and borderline personality disorder amongst others that I also have.
Give your life to Jesus
I'm a pharmacist but I have dealing with dysfunctional coworker fatigue. They complain about everything...a patient behavior when a simple, positive, constructive discussion with the patient would fix the issue, an illegible copy of an easily reproduced form or one that can be requested from corporate (weekly work schedule, daily sign-in log, etc.), bad phone cords when they can order another, etc. ad nauseum. They offer poor or mediocre care unless they personally know the patient, just a toxic environment.
@M Z Odd, isn't it. I've heard so many men speak with disrespect about "all women being gossips." And a cross-section of these men are *exactly* like the co-workers you've described: constant complainers who talk behind everyone's back. My usual response to these rather brain-dead men has been: "I do *not* want to hear gossip!" The next male who is actually biased enough to make a generalized statement about women? I'm going to say: "All men who make statements about ALL women are misogynists." It's the unspoken truth that I've been much too kind to say, but sometimes the gloves just have to come off. 🐯
Anna-bird Retired have you set them down and told them exactly how you feel? They may not even realize they’re doing it.
As a therapist in training, I can't emphasize how powerful, critical, and insightful this video is. I need to rewatch this on a regular basis. Thank you, Dr. Grande. I think getting supervisions regularly is so important.
Thanks for this Dr.Grande. I sent you a message on FB last week regarding stigma in mental health due to burnt out practitioners and I believe that this addresses that issue quite well. This is why it's super important to practice self care and diversifying the type of clients that you face. Not only that, this is why you have to practice ethically as those ethical boundaries were enforced for a reason.
I call this: Emotional Vampirism Syndrome.
To all you lay peeps; when you're feeling drained from some high drama wack - run like hell or you'll want everyone away from you and you may even isolate. I did.
Thanks, doc.
Me too! Vampiric and a bit parasitic.
I've commented on your channel multiple times, and with every video I'm so impressed (for a lack of a better word) maybe even "in awe" at the way you handle and conduct yourself and the standard you hold yourself as well as other mental health clinicians in terms of how the client is treated and not only are you SO professional, but you also are genuine and truly DO care. what more could ANYONE ask for when it comes to a mental health clinician? Seriously, if I lived in your city and could afford your services I would in a heart beat... in regards to this topic, as someone who has dealt with a fair share of 'traumas' to say the least, it would be nice to have a therapist or clinician that can relate (maybe nice isn't the word here because i wouldn't wish trauma on anyone but you know what i mean!!!) someone who didn't just read about trauma and pain but has physically/emotionally/mentally gone through it as well, and trauma is something that people really truly will never completely understand 100% unless they've gone through traumatic things as well, no matter how many books someone reads or certificates/degrees it's impossible to truly know the extent at which trauma can truly effect someone unless they've gone through something themselves. BUT at the end of the day it is a business, and as a client nobody would want to pay an expensive fee just to listen to somebody talk about their own traumas for two hours. although it might not be intentional it can come off as "well yeah but listen to what IVE gone thru, its way worse than yours". i do have conflicting feelings towards this, because i do think we hold mental health clinicians/ therapist/psychologist at an extremely high standard, and forget that they are people too who have gone through things and have lives. constantly asking how other people are doing but never being asked themselves how they are or what they have going on. i think if i employed mental health clinicians or psychologist or anything of that type, i would make it mandatory (maybe just voluntary) where once or twice a month they have a session where they can talk about their problems and what they've gone thru or the second hand trauma they feel from clients. just twice a month where for two days they can focus on THEMSELVES for once. because i feel its a bit hypocritical to own a practice dealing with mental health if your own employers are struggling mentally themselves ya know? just to remind them that they are human too and it's okay that they aren't perfect. i think we expect them to be absolutely perfect and have no mental health issues since they help others with their mental health, when in all reality they are all secretly hoping somebody FOR ONCE asks them how they are feeling. okay done ranting haha. just love the discussions and topics you touch on, i think they bring up some amazing opportunities for people like myself to really think about things from others point of views!! thanks again! amazing as always!
Thank you Dr. Grande. I'm happy to see you again. Good video 😃
Teachers also experience compassion fatigue, and given that teachers are scapegoated today for society's ills, they are under tremendous unrelenting pressure. This is a problem for teachers, for youth, and for education generally.
Teachers only get a bad rap, generally speaking, because they perpetuate a toxic system without protest....
If more were about educating, rather than career advancement; that would end abruptly....
Such is the way the world has turned though. Narcissistic, through corporate brainwashing movements, like feminismism.
I very much appreciate this video. I believe that a trauma bond is not a bad thing, but it seems that many humans bond for too long over trauma. We must all learn to have more bonds than just through trauma. I will be sharing this video. Thank you for your Channel and all you are contributing to society. You do great work, Doc.
Hi dr Grande! Could you do a video on the nature of "cringiness" the term, why we feel it, etc. Thank you :)
Georgina Embaid would be fascinating!
That’s a good one I feel like that at points every day in life
It's your own embarrassment
Very well explained. That's what I have with the cruelty cases that I come across every day. It is traumatic to read about them when I sign petitions. So I already try to avoid the videos that come with them, the photos and too much detail. I cry almost every day and I have nightmares.The cases seem to keep increasing in numbers. But together world wide we have shifted mountains of laws to make the world a better place.
OMG I totally get this. I was a spiritual counselor for years, and I have had to walk away because of being overly tired. I decided to go back to school for refreshment, and it was the best thing I ever did. I think I'll be able to get back into helping others more effectively this fall. Thank you for this video!
I had this experience. Thank you for bringing it to the surface to address and build awareness. I learned the hard way, first hand that self-disclosure as a therapist can be a very slippery slope that leads to therapist’s needs getting met and the further traumatization of the client.
Another excellent presentation Dr Grande. Thank you for giving us all this information - I’ve learned so much from your videos.
Great video Dr.Grande.
You do a very good and understandable way with your program!
Thank you Dr. Todd. Watching now.
This is something I deal with frequently in my job. It is very frustrating to work with other providers who cross boundaries with clients. For example, allowing a client to borrow their car! As these are just collaterals that I work with, I have little influence regarding their job performance. I always make the appropriate supervisor or agency aware, but most often nothing much is done. As you said, it is often a recipe for disaster. Thank you for articulating the pitfalls of this so well.
Fascinating topic!👌🏼 Since I work in healthcare I have seen a lot of compassion fatigue especially with nurses and social workers.
As for the counseling approach I agree that counselors should avoid trying to act as if they are “friends” with the clients. An appropriate distance, stepping out of the problem is essencial in helping solving the problem.
I have observed a similar topic in the hospital, when family members are healthcare professionals and they try to intervene in the patient’s treatment. That’s more often than not quite disastrous. 🤦🏻♀️
Well done as always Dr. Grande, I loved the video! ❤️
Fascinating, by far my favorite video you've produced.
Me, too.
I thoroughly enjoyed this presentation &. thank you for the resources provided as well. In addition to what you mentioned, it really emphasizes the importance of dealing with unresolved trauma prior to entering the profession. Self-awareness is also crucial. Very informative and thought-provoking video! Best wishes!
This was so interesting! I love watching your videos, thank you for making them :)
This should be required viewing by every counselor in training. The ethics considerations are very important.
Please do a video on EMDR.
Dr. Grande already did a video about EMDR a while ago in november 2017. Here´s the link you can watch this video.
ua-cam.com/video/h8YVGMVfKVA/v-deo.html
Thank you, this was helpful and reassuring.
Very important topic, thank you!
Very fair and thorough as usual.
Hi Dr. Todd! I am a mental health counselor , and I really enjoy watching your videos! I was wondering if you could provide insight or maybe explore in a future video how to deal with a supervisor who is presenting as the "wounded hero" and who clearly is struggling with compassion fatigue. I think this occurs quite frequently in agency work (or at least in my experience - I am curious to hear if this true for others) and, often times at those levels of care there are young clincians just entering the field who may feel stuck or not realize the gravity of the situation. Thanks! :)
It took me awhile to get to this video BUT WORTH IT, as always.
Thank you. 👍👍👍
What a wealth of information!
Fantastic video. Very insightful.
Thank god I found this. Thank you so much!
Your videos are so fascinating
I’m coming a little bit out of my burnout but I experienced this recently at the end of my second year in grad school. It’s exactly what you described.
I almost dread to watch these good videos with Narcissist in the title because of how much unscientific and con-artist garbage suddenly shows up in my recommendations because of it. :P
The 'don't recommend channel' option from the recommendations page works well and clears this sort of thing up quickly.
I called into work today. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, I couldn't sleep and I know I'm feeling burned out. I stumbled upon this video and I'm feeling a little better now. I don't get much supervision in my job and I'm watching more and more of these videos and it helps. Especially the role plays :)
Interesting title and subject. You have an interesting job. I intend to watch this video again, because I think I missed a couple of critical points. Over the decades, I've seen 7 or 8 or 9 therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists (I've been counting them, but I keep coming up with a different number), and not one has ever tried to offload her or his problems or trauma onto me. Quite the opposite, really.
As I listened to you this evening, I saw how open you are about your profession; how willing you seem to be to divulge and discuss the "secrets of your trade." In my experience, that's a little unusual, I think.
I've found most therapists I've seen to be reluctant to talk about psychology, what it's all about and what their methods are; there were times when I felt, or was made to feel, that I was "poaching on their turf" if I mentioned a book I'd read or an idea I found interesting. As a contrast, I never got that kind of reaction from my primary care physician, who always seems happy to discuss diet or exercise or anything to do with physical health. I'm off-topic, but that's not unusual. Thanks.
Edit: Daniel Mackler has a couple of videos about crying in therapy; his clients and/or him.
Thank you so much for this. I've often had a session that was meant to be for me but where the professional talked instead ... It's good to know some people look out for us!
Not quite the same perhaps but I have encountered a therapist with a 'guru' complex who wanted to be the Great Healer and would tell us what was wrong with us after a quick 'keyword listen' rather than actually listening and learning what was wrong with us. Very dangerous. She tried to make us all lie flat on the floor. I was lucky, I was able to resist and say "no, I will sit on a chair, I can't lie flat on a floor" but the lady with spinal injury was not so lucky. The therapist told her she really should lie on the floor and such was the situation that she didn't feel able to resist. She hurt herself, but she felt she had to. Misuse of a position of power is a terrible thing, especially when the people involved are vulnerable and trusting.
Here’s the problem: the terms sympathy vs empathy are distinct. . Defining sympathy as cognitive empathy imprecisely helps the public to understand some seemingly contradictory NPD behavior or the protective value of detached concern by a clinician. More accurately is that Empathy is felt and sympathy is manufactured. Narcissists are empathy-deficient. Narcissistic clinicians exist, but do not burn out from taxing what they never had. Rather, like most burned out clinicians, its more a matter of the minimum work load and training no longer justifying the reduced pay.
What?
Can you do a video on what good boundaries look like ? How to enforce them?
mr moveandspeak yes please
Apologies that I can’t comment on this video as much as I’d like, (have an upper spinal disc out), but I really enjoyed this explanation of what Mental Health professionals are open to. Great video and something I’d wondered about. Thank you Dr Grande 😊
Wow! Interesting knowledge!
This was excellent. I was experiencing trouble with a therapist conducting my DBT group; I felt she was getting personal with me and confrontational. Do some therapists/clinicians feel that being confrontational is therapeutic? She stepped down from conducting the DBT group and I heard she was getting complains from other clients; he had commented to me she had a client leave unhappy and disgruntled from a counselling session. I was surprised because she is incharge of the mental health clinic.
I just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful information you provide us :)
Also, I wanted to float an idea for a video or video series. I would like to see more on the mindset of people who commit crimes - but in the general, not the specific. Things like psychological motivations for murder, domestic abuse, and such topics. I think it would be interesting to learn how people who do commit crimes are being directed by their mind to do so.
I feel as a teacher and retail worker experience compassion fatigue.
Great topic (as usual) I might suggest an additional component to compassion fatigue involves agencies where the documentation process is at times arbitrary but certainly redundant necessitating the high frequency of repetitious recitation of client/patient trauma. Having to record Suzy's trauma in 4 places followed by Billy's trauma in 4 places, repeating this cycle for hours a day, 5 days a week, ad nauseam, would seem to have some impact.
I agree with you completely. Despite any past personal experiences, regardless of the similarities, the Client is present to be helped with *their* problems, not burdened with issues the Clinician feels they might have "in common" with the Client. 🐯
I agree with you nobody nowhere, one clinician that does this is one too many
Dr. Grande, would you consider making a video about how you yourself got interested in psychiatry/counseling as a profession? I'd be very interested to hear that story.
Great idea!
Interesting topic Dr. Grande.
Can you perhaps address the subject of compassion fatigue regarding caregivers for the elderly?
Major compassion fatigue in this profession, in my opinion, and physical fatigue too at times.
Many elderly "use" their caregivers as a kind of therapist instead of going to a mental health professional, especially if their families don't want to listen to them.
How does one protect oneself from this kind of thing without losing empathy if there is no chance of changing your job?
The narcissistic counselor role is a very real and dangerous one. I knew a man who called himself a "Shaman" counselor who had an office and a few clients. One of his clients was a very young woman with trauma. He seduced her, left his wife and married this young girl within one year. Their relationship lasted only several months and now, in his late 50's he is unemployed (he was unemployable to begin with) and lives with his mother. The public needs to realize that when you find a counselor, it is worth looking at their credentials. By signing up for their services, you are acknowledging that they are the expert and the authority in a situation where you are very vulnerable.
Very good topic helpful
Was it not Jung who wrote about the "wounded healer" counsellor? I feel very strongly about this as a patient in the public mental health system as I have encountered far too many who simply are damaging to their clients. They struggle with professional boundaries, and project onto the client.
This push now to have clinicians with a " lived experience" is all very well but there should be greater scrutiny in recruiting, closer monitoring in work and getting feedback from patients on their experience.
This profession also attracts narcissists...a convenient cover.
Thank you for this important video. I started doing light therapy, mostly through voice and movement when i didnt have the right way i just learned from my alternative therapist and had a lot of self confidence and good compliments and i was very carefull but still, i felt that something is wrong and that its a delicate place even if i had the talent im also dealing with bpd anxieties and ptsd so i felt i wanted to give them what i wanted to have myself time to just express myself artisticly
.. today i understand that helping people HAVE to be very carefull and i stopped doing that, not sure i even should with my health condition... ive been going to therapists that also did their damage on me, one who have studied for years and it got me feeling very confused about 1. Are there really good therapists 2. what kind of study should one do and 3 is every field where people working with people (dance classes, workshops and etc) trainers should study at least the basic courses in psychology
Unfortunately I don't believe that the vast majority of counsellors are very good (statistically this would not make sense anyway). It's probably the toughest profession out there, and it takes a remarkable amount of skill, maturity and clarity of mind to excel at it. I think many want to be good or believe that they are, but lack the skills to help clients pull themselves out of their stuckness. If you feel worse after a session (as many, many clients do), it's a red flag. "Therapy" is not supposed to make you feel awful about life, it's supposed to bring people home to their own inherent strength and sanity.
Couldn't agree more.
Thank you for this video. I am exploring the idea of returning to school to become a therapist but I also struggle with CPTSD and now I’m wondering if perhaps I’m not cut out for that line of work! Maybe I am better off in research.
I had a therapist like that, and she would tell me stuff about herself that I didn’t ask for. At first, I thought it was just trying to establish rapport, but the relationship pretty much imploded and the worst part is that the agency she worked for took her side, so I just ended up going somewhere else for therapy and I still don’t trust them. :/
She didn’t go as far as crying or anything, but she did share a lot of her life stuff, and somewhere the boundary just seemed to blur. She took it a bit personally when I said I didn’t believe in god and the relationship went downhill from there.
It wasn’t Christian counseling or anything, either.
Thanks for posting! Please listen to and like this informative upload!
After nine years, I have experienced this recently. I am practicing self care so I can avoid compassion fatigue and burnout. I will lower my caseload, take a break and balance caseload with less trauma. I work at a group practice where I notice my co workers take more of the C-PTSD and PTSD. I set boundaries with colleagues, co workers. Interesting 🤔 information about the trauma seeking clinicians. I have worked with a few who assume they are better counselors because they have all these trauma certifications.
This is interesting. Counselors using clients for validation is essentially the dynamic of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship where the mother uses the daughter to regulate her own emotions, draining the child of her own. I had a therapist who shared a little too much of her own trauma (narcissistic abuse, which is what I sought help with) and it got to a point where she was trying to influence which lawyer I hired for the paternity case for my daughter. I didn’t like that so I stopped attending sessions.
What another video already!!!
Very interesting!
No, Dr. Grande. I'm going to tell you a story about a 12-year old girl who'd been non-verbal for more than 5 years. Her mother had abandoned her to a brutal, sadistic, alcoholic father. Her only comforts were music and books. These she kept to herself. Turns out she had an exceptionally high IQ. At the age of 10, she was tested and a School District Psychologist was brought in to work with her.
For more than two years, that Psychologist worked with this girl every week, but the girl wouldn't speak a word. And then one day, the Psychologist (a woman), began to cry. She said: "I've been doing everything in my power to get you out of that home! But he won't let me! He refuses to let you go! I want to adopt you!"
And the little girl walked to the Psychologist, put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and said: "It's okay. Please don't cry." Because this was the *first* time in this child's life she'd seen *LOVE* from an adult. That woman changed my life. She *gave* me a life. Her background wasn't traumatic. She quite simply *loved* me. 🐯
I loved this. ❤️
today on things that never happened
Sounds like she way overstepped her bounds as a clinician. In this anecdote, things worked out in a way you see as positive, but a nonverbal child cannot communicate how that invasion of personal boundaries is affecting them. Many times children in general have a hard time processing this for themselves and cannot object or consent. Putting any child in the role of soothing or protecting the emotional needs of an adult is wrong and unethical.
Beautiful
Clinicians, please practice “detachment” with your clients. When their issues, become your issues, it is an issue. Take care of yourselves. You can not pour from an empty cup! This world needs you!
I would be interested in hearing more of your views on counselor self-disclosure.
When I was in my early 20s I had a counselor who was partially paralayzed and, given my lack of family or connections, his occasional stories helped get me through as a form of modeling for my own behaviors and perspectives.
On the flip side, I saw a counselor for 1 session who wouldn't let me talk because she was telling me ALL about her problems.
More professional perspective would be appreciated.
I experienced compassion fatigue in my marriage...My wife was severely traumatized and talked about her traumatic experiences and struggles day after day. I was essentially her therapist and her only support. Add to that being her translator, dealing with burreaucracy and my studies, my ADHD and probable cluster B traits... Yeah I was totally burned out by the time we broke up a little over a year into our marriage.
Mostly recovered now, but since then my empathy has been off by default and I have to put effort into feeling empathy, whereas before I was extremely empathetic.
@ Dr. Grande do you have any videos about memory loss and mental illness? Wandering what mental illnesses can cause the most severe memory loss. Could it be more the psychiatric medication or the disorder itself?
That's why I have most confidence in psychodynamic counselors who have undergone years of analysis themselves. So they're aware of their own often deeply unconscious issues and so are less likely to blur them with those of their clients.
Hello Dr. Grande,
Is there a way to summarize/ generalize how people with disorders perceive structure/ discipline/ routines? Are there certain people with disorders that are triggered by it? Are there others that appreciate it?
This is very interesting, I would be interested to know what you think about mental health peer support work, where the client is supported by someone who has mental health issues themselves. I have worked as a peer support worker and feeling very burnt out by it to the point where I want to change careers into something completely different., I am wondering if its because of the reasons you discussed in your video - I don't know that I am to the extreme in that I would ever go over my own trauma stories with a client, but the model of work we used was very much meant to be a reciprocal relationship (sharing world views, mutual learning) , which is different from a clinician-client relationship. I definitely did feel like maybe I wasn't suited to the work because when I saw clients being treated unfairly by others it really triggered my own trauma, and I eventually just felt like I was of no help to the client. Would be interested to hear other peer workers' thoughts too.
Most humans about 90 percent and more are mentally ill and many are abusive. In a situation like that you need to protect yourself, leave and never go back.
I would be interested to hear your take on narcissism in a person with a religious addiction.
Thank you for this. Very interesting perspective on the myth or story of the wounded healer or Hero. Also your negative experiences in practice. Given that we seem to have a propensity to this narrative in the main stream culture of the west in the last 10 years makes this timely as well as informative. However to omit the positive, transformative potential, of the idea (myth) of the wounded hero is in my opinion rather short sighted. Do you have any positive examples where being animated by this myth is positive in terms of the practitioner , patient dynamic ? Do you think it is possible? If you could define YOUR key narrative that led or lead your interest in this field I would be fascinated to know...This perhaps is rather a Jungian approach but one that seems to repeatedly concur with may different disciplines..IE . we are all driven by or,and defined by myth. Im not a psychologist but this is part of a wider study i m looking at regarding the nature of healing and healers...Thanks.
Damn bro you definitely smart asf, like most people watching this are intellectual people but it's crazy u know this
So I have a couple questions
I am already sort of an emotional person naturally, and I was hoping to enter into the field of trauma work (specifically because of someone close to me suffering from a great deal of trauma)
Would you suggest pursuing other fields of psychology instead? Or is there a way to relieve this problem over time? I would imagine speaking with a counselor would be a good first step
The title of the video is so interesting. I would like to see the content but I feel strange.
Dr. Grande...why do I feel so traumatised and anxious almost every time I hear about mental health problems (in general, it doesn't has to be a certain subject like narcissism)? I dont understand exactly why.
I am a psychic reader and we get this too. We call it taking on our clients' energy. It's very hard to avoid. Probably 99% of all long-term working psychics have this.
Within the context of a treatment relationship with a trauma survivor, metaphorical re-enactments commonly occur. The therapist must be aware of the roles trauma survivors may project onto clinicians during a session. This means one must be able to detect and objectify countertransference experiences. Supervision or consultation with colleagues is key.
I used to work at the animal shelter. Compassion fatigue comes faster and harder if I ever try to resume the work. It took 20 years to manifest. I had to stop completely.
Are you talking about Daniel Mackler when describing a narcissist wounded healer/trauma-seeking clinician?
I work with police officers, I have had some tell me that after a significant length of service they lost the ability to feel like they once did, to the point some told me they didn't feel anything anymore. I thought it was down to the high levels of stress they work under but after watching this I wonder if this could tie in to compassion fatigue.
I was told by my doctor today that I am diagnosed with Complex Personality Disorder. What does that mean, exactly?
By the way, I knew someone like the narcissist trauma seeking counselor before. They were very traumatized which made me feel bad. I would never judge them for that. However this person brought about so much drama in a “therapeutic setting”. Started rumors, unloaded their story onto everyone, flipped out on people for having different opinions or just did not agree with them, and also was not qualified to do counseling.
So to get compassion fatigue I'd need to be employed as a therapist of some sort...?
I am identifying incredibly with this.... Would being surrounded by only people who have strong disorder tendencies almost constantly do it?
Yes, very interesting! I used to declare myself as being a 'wounded healer/hero', but after hearing this video I think that is no longer true, indeed maybe never correct.
I do know of other counsellors, though, that seem to be these trauma-seeking types, one of whom blocked me on Twitter when my questioning of her got too close to the truth. I feel sympathy for her.
As for being formally qualified, I'm not and admit to being rather boastful of my being "alternative". Reflecting on what Dr Grande said, I am reminded to therefore avoid actual therapy and try seeking other types of counselling such as career and so on.
With the distinction between cognitive/rational empathy versus affective/emotional empathy (sympathy), this is vital to recognise in oneself as the latter will adversely affect your work.
@The_PPimp
I have a question.
Can burnout/compassion fatigue occur in single mothers who take care of multiple children with different needs e.g. a single mother taking care of a child with an oppositional personality and another on the spectrum simultaneously?
Dr. Grande really knows his stuff. Social Workers should stick to social work- not trying to treat real combat fatigue with more social interactions. They think all that has to happen is 2 wounded people bump nubbiest, and everything will be just fine. Amateurism in motion causing more traumas in the patient. Have I had cra@@y counselors or what? Social Workers retraumatize over and over and over and over... Dr. Grande YOU know your stuff! I know you won’t approve me saying this but some counselors should be washing dishes in Amsterdam brothels and leave treatment to professionals
I accidentally had wet eyes at the traumatic death of a child! 37years at doing this work and I have never let this happen in front of others!
With vets and vet nurses this is very common. We have a very high suicide rate within our industry. I think it is hardest when you have to PTS animal after animal in a short period of time or losing animal after animal. You will always feel slightly responsible. We all get into this trying to help animals, but also people, and it hurts when things don't go better. It is what it is, but it can get draining and frustrating.
what is pts?
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Sorry, put to sleep.
@@punkybrewstar83 Ah--thanks.
Having had dog, cat, and horse "packs" since my mid 20s, (many of these being rescues) due to rural lifestyle, interests, and abodes for the past 40 years, vet welfare is VERY important. Was sad to learn Dr. Sofia Yin, animal vet and behaviorist with UC, Davis, was a suicide. I don't know if veterinary schools address this issue during training? Self care is really important for everyone, but may esp. be needed for all of those in helping, stressful occupations/professions, such as medicine, teaching, counseling, 1st responders, etc. As Dr. Grande pointed out, (didn't he?) helping professionals who had insufficient/inadequate nurturing as children due to family alcoholism, drug addiction, the serious illness of a parent, poverty, etc. may not be as resilient as their luckier colleagues, which may require that they learn as adults how to take good care of themselves as they may not have learned this from their family of origin.
When I briefly worked as a vet assistant at a practice in a pretty affluent SOCAL area, I realized that I would not be suited for this field, as it really bothered me that so many people took essentially really bad care of their animals (for example, taking an animal in for regular steroid TX instead of practicing flea control-the poor dog would have the smelly, thickened, red, inflamed skin from constant exposure to the fleas, and its chronic allergic response).
There are theraputic support groups for those in the fields of medicine, law enforcement, and aviation in my community, who have enhanced confidentiality and privacy needs; perhaps these would also be helpful for vets. Also helpful might be learning the principles of cognitive behavior therapy, which helps people learn to be more aware of their cognitive distortions, and the relationship between their moods and their thoughts . For example, in my thinking above "so many people take really bad care of their animals, which is really unfair and sad, and ultimately hopeless", I may have practised the following distortions: overgeneralization, all or nothing thinking, mental filter, discounting the positive, emotional reasoning, and personalization. The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns is a readable book on learning CBT, which can be applied to many common challenges such as procrastination, healthy eating, or depression. Dr. Grande stated that it may be necessary to change the particular type or location of employment if a mental health professional is too triggered by trauma, and maybe Dr. Yin should have done this instead of suicide. While suicide may be a legitimate and healthy choice for say end stage pain/ terminal conditions, one suspects that Dr. Yin was unable to think clearly or realistically about other possible solutions, and so the world lost a gifted professional.
Must run, have to take my 3 dogs (age 4, 9, and 13) off leash hiking at Black Butte Lake (have all had rattlesnake vaccine, and are on Bravecta for ticks and fleas, as well as Heartgard, also have very clean teeth:)
@@evelynwaugh4053 Thank you. There is more and more support and education, but it is still a huge issue.
Question @Dr Todd Grande
Why narcissist seek energy healers and spend excessive amount of money on salt lamps, stones and other related articles that involves mental focus, energy balancing and cleaning the house of negative energy. I asked this question because I seen my narcissistic wife consulting with a energy healer. Buying salt lamps and burning sage and trying to connect to positive energies while still exhibiting negative responses. What's the deal...?
I would love to see a video about lying. Specifically why some people lie a lot, what makes someone a good liar and some info about what lies i.e. the what happens in a person's body/mind when they are lying.
Teal Swan has a video on this subject. Liars are sociopaths.
@@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837 Thanks!
@@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837 Liars are not sociopaths lol. Lying is just one tool of the sociopath, it is not an indicator.
I believe the Alcoholics Anonymous program and my AA sponsor was a trauma seeking mental health clinician. my sponsor had a past history of trauma and abuse, had an unusual idealogy that she needed to feel the pain and cry too when we met, called others normies for being cold and not sympathitic and feeling the pain of the addict, shared her trauma story for hours and i didnt get a word in sometimes, was not qualified as a counselor and had no trianing, and all of my trauma was the same and she overgenerilaized and gave me bad advice.