I can’t imagine starting over with my ex-love, because we were together almost 5 years. Fearful avoidant, bought an engagement ring and couldn’t bring himself to propose, despite having perfect opportunities. OMG, enough! He already proposed without a ring three times anyway. My feeling now is, are you ready to go forward, yes or no? If so, give me a call. If not, okay whatever, total loss for both of us but I can’t help you any more than the last 4.75 years. Being patient and understanding. Grow up. Am I wrong? I want him back of course, I love him, but I’m out of patience and not about to wait another 5 years. Is this too severe a position? It is really how I feel.
Being with a fearful avoidant is difficult so I understand if you feel like giving up. Your feelings are valid. But if he is really you person, then hold on to him. Have a counseling session for both of you.
My ex says he´s incapable of saying that we're never getting back together, but he insisted in saying that this needs to happen naturally. I really don't know how I could ever make myself not want to be with him, even if I'm feeling way better about the breakup now. But I really don't feel good about this idea that we need to bump into each other one day and see what happens, without expectations. I feel we got to a point where it is impossible for us to get back, because even if we love each other, he feels overwhelmed about my desire of getting back together with him, while I feel extremely distressed thinking that I need to wait until destiny decides or not to make we meet each other by chance...
@carolineelias7827...I feel your pain, Carol. There is a diagnosis for his condition, and maybe invite him to a discussion concerning treatment, after a date? After all, as we all know, time moves on, and maybe his avoidance-issues can be mitigated. Your ending leaves me feeling that you are putting up with less than you should, and looking poor, no offense intended. You deserve better, and I hope you are considering implementing changes in your favor, and ultimately, his. Please keep us apprised of your progress. Thank you, Darrell.
@@darrellborland119 thank you so much for caring! At the end, I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a message telling him about everything that I was feeling. He didn't care about it very much, said that he wasn't sorry and told me that at this moment he needed to be alone and doing whatever he wanted without any concerns about the consequences of his acts. I found this to be extremely selfish and told him so. It is really over now and he hurt me too much, so there's no chance we're getting back together. I'm dealing with the grief right now, but knowing I do deserve more than what he was giving me. Thank you so much!
@@skyt8327 thank you so much for caring! At the end, I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a message telling him about everything that I was feeling. He didn't care about it very much, said that he wasn't sorry and told me that at this moment he needed to be alone and doing whatever he wanted without any concerns about the consequences of his acts. I found this to be extremely selfish and told him so. It is really over now and he hurt me too much, so there's no chance we're getting back together. I'm dealing with the grief right now, but knowing I do deserve more than what he was giving me. Thank you so much!
Hi. This is such an insightful video. In another video, could you please discuss why you suggest breaking no contact with your ex? Other coaches do not recommend that and let the ex contact the dumpee. Thank you!
Thank you Alexis. Very specific to our needs . Finally & Slowly able to calm down my anxious thoughts with your videos and deeper insights you share along with this . Thank you
If I knew about attachment theory before my relationship with a DA, I could have probably done a better job at maintaining the relationship. Now that I am aware of the attachment theory I'll do my best to stay away from a DA.
I unfortunately work with my ex and her monkey branch/rebound. She left me for him days after she broke with me. Her avoidant tendencies admittedly brought out my anxious behavior. Ive never dealt with an avoidant person before. I blocked her on IG because she was bread crumbing by liking my posts. But i cant help but see them flaunting their new relationship in the work place. Right now im not talking to either of them but will do so if it's work related. Im focusing on myself and started hitting the gym. Anything else i should do?
@Alexis When they are nice, dont be fooled. You are not getting anywhere. Can you describe this more? I might be in this situation, but how can I tell?
What if we still live together? He talks to me about the flowers I had planted and a few times he cooked but he's distant and an avoidant sooo...when he does talk he won't look at me.
I’m using it because I’m broken and resorted to offering to be friends with benefits. When he was interested it made me realize that’s all I would be. Went no contact in hopes he misses me and reconsiders. For us there was a huge age gap and he hit me with that as the reason. Nothing I can do but go no contact. Trust me I’m dying. I’m trying to move and date and am sure that will fail. I am in no way ready but last time it took me 3 years to recover. I’d rather atleast try. What does it matter anyway? He left me.
@@gabriellaadam2230 Who are you to decide what other people should do? If no contact worked for you, go ahead and do that, but let other people communicate with their exes if they want to. Sure, everyone has to heal, but the desire to try again doesn't leave just because you do no contact 💀
@@markai2002 no contact doesn't just worked for me.. worked for a bunch of people who deal with f#king selfish people and continuing giving them space in your life will just reassure them that all good,no consequence of their behaviour.. nobody is responsible for the other person's wounds,so why keep bleeding on other people? No ! Heal and that is in therapy and with God 's help,not on UA-cam!
@@gabriellaadam2230 I agree that no contact is a useful tool in some cases, but I don't think every relationship and situation can be generalized. Not every ex is a selfish, horrible person.
Hey man! If it’s an avoidant ex and I’ve been doing no contact for about a month now, do you think i should break no contact at some point? And if so, when do you think it’s best? Thanks
I can’t imagine starting over with my ex-love, because we were together almost 5 years. Fearful avoidant, bought an engagement ring and couldn’t bring himself to propose, despite having perfect opportunities. OMG, enough! He already proposed without a ring three times anyway.
My feeling now is, are you ready to go forward, yes or no? If so, give me a call. If not, okay whatever, total loss for both of us but I can’t help you any more than the last 4.75 years. Being patient and understanding. Grow up.
Am I wrong?
I want him back of course, I love him, but I’m out of patience and not about to wait another 5 years.
Is this too severe a position?
It is really how I feel.
Being with a fearful avoidant is difficult so I understand if you feel like giving up. Your feelings are valid. But if he is really you person, then hold on to him. Have a counseling session for both of you.
My ex says he´s incapable of saying that we're never getting back together, but he insisted in saying that this needs to happen naturally. I really don't know how I could ever make myself not want to be with him, even if I'm feeling way better about the breakup now. But I really don't feel good about this idea that we need to bump into each other one day and see what happens, without expectations. I feel we got to a point where it is impossible for us to get back, because even if we love each other, he feels overwhelmed about my desire of getting back together with him, while I feel extremely distressed thinking that I need to wait until destiny decides or not to make we meet each other by chance...
Same here. Maddening.
@carolineelias7827...I feel your pain, Carol. There is a diagnosis for his condition, and maybe invite him to a discussion concerning treatment, after a date? After all, as we all know, time moves on, and maybe his avoidance-issues can be mitigated. Your ending leaves me feeling that you are putting up with less than you should, and looking poor, no offense intended. You deserve better, and I hope you are considering implementing changes in your favor, and ultimately, his. Please keep us apprised of your progress. Thank you, Darrell.
Any updates? I hope all is well!
@@darrellborland119 thank you so much for caring! At the end, I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a message telling him about everything that I was feeling. He didn't care about it very much, said that he wasn't sorry and told me that at this moment he needed to be alone and doing whatever he wanted without any concerns about the consequences of his acts. I found this to be extremely selfish and told him so. It is really over now and he hurt me too much, so there's no chance we're getting back together. I'm dealing with the grief right now, but knowing I do deserve more than what he was giving me. Thank you so much!
@@skyt8327 thank you so much for caring! At the end, I couldn't take it anymore and sent him a message telling him about everything that I was feeling. He didn't care about it very much, said that he wasn't sorry and told me that at this moment he needed to be alone and doing whatever he wanted without any concerns about the consequences of his acts. I found this to be extremely selfish and told him so. It is really over now and he hurt me too much, so there's no chance we're getting back together. I'm dealing with the grief right now, but knowing I do deserve more than what he was giving me. Thank you so much!
Hi. This is such an insightful video. In another video, could you please discuss why you suggest breaking no contact with your ex? Other coaches do not recommend that and let the ex contact the dumpee. Thank you!
Thank you Alexis. Very specific to our needs .
Finally & Slowly able to calm down my anxious thoughts with your videos and deeper insights you share along with this . Thank you
Excellent video, Alexis! You convey sincerity and not "selling"... Thank you.
Interesting topic, quite an art to navigate these troubled waters. Thanks, and subscribed.
If I knew about attachment theory before my relationship with a DA, I could have probably done a better job at maintaining the relationship. Now that I am aware of the attachment theory I'll do my best to stay away from a DA.
Thank you, your videos always so specific and I'm learning much
Please do a free consultation 🙏🏻
Excellent ❤
Thank you!! Very complete video 😊
Valuable information ❤
But we don't communicate with them, we are broken up and not in relationship.
Do you need help to restore the relationship or cure the illness?
I'll will leave his info below this comment He will definitely help you and put a smile on your face.
On what's App👍
I unfortunately work with my ex and her monkey branch/rebound. She left me for him days after she broke with me. Her avoidant tendencies admittedly brought out my anxious behavior. Ive never dealt with an avoidant person before. I blocked her on IG because she was bread crumbing by liking my posts. But i cant help but see them flaunting their new relationship in the work place. Right now im not talking to either of them but will do so if it's work related. Im focusing on myself and started hitting the gym. Anything else i should do?
@Alexis When they are nice, dont be fooled. You are not getting anywhere. Can you describe this more? I might be in this situation, but how can I tell?
What if we still live together? He talks to me about the flowers I had planted and a few times he cooked but he's distant and an avoidant sooo...when he does talk he won't look at me.
I like the Comic Sans
Thanks
Women usually use no contact to move on. Fact.
thats what its for...
I’m using it because I’m broken and resorted to offering to be friends with benefits. When he was interested it made me realize that’s all I would be. Went no contact in hopes he misses me and reconsiders. For us there was a huge age gap and he hit me with that as the reason. Nothing I can do but go no contact. Trust me I’m dying. I’m trying to move and date and am sure that will fail. I am in no way ready but last time it took me 3 years to recover. I’d rather atleast try. What does it matter anyway? He left me.
These people sound like my narcissistic ex but only worse
If it's a break up ,why we need communication skills if was luck of it in the relationship?🤣...no contact..ok 😁
Because some people would like to try again with their exes...?
@@markai2002 never before no contact and heal.. right? After healing it's very possible that no desire anymore to get back 🙂
@@gabriellaadam2230 Who are you to decide what other people should do? If no contact worked for you, go ahead and do that, but let other people communicate with their exes if they want to. Sure, everyone has to heal, but the desire to try again doesn't leave just because you do no contact 💀
@@markai2002 no contact doesn't just worked for me.. worked for a bunch of people who deal with f#king selfish people and continuing giving them space in your life will just reassure them that all good,no consequence of their behaviour.. nobody is responsible for the other person's wounds,so why keep bleeding on other people? No ! Heal and that is in therapy and with God 's help,not on UA-cam!
@@gabriellaadam2230 I agree that no contact is a useful tool in some cases, but I don't think every relationship and situation can be generalized. Not every ex is a selfish, horrible person.
Hey man! If it’s an avoidant ex and I’ve been doing no contact for about a month now, do you think i should break no contact at some point? And if so, when do you think it’s best? Thanks
Have you guys get back?
Update?
Do you need help to restore the relationship or cure the illness?
I'll will leave his info below this comment He will definitely help you and put a smile on your face.
On what's App👍