Do narcissists think they are normal?

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  • Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
  • Are narcissists and psychopaths walking around thinking their bizarre, abusive behaviour is normal?
    The answer is no. They know it is not normal. They feel nothing but loathing and contempt for normal, average, everyday "folks". Their greatest fear is to be counted amongst them. They do NOT think it is normal, even when they are gaslighting you to convince you that their behaviour is acceptable.

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  • @RICHARDGRANNON
    @RICHARDGRANNON  4 роки тому +128

    0:03 Stating The Topic
    0:40 No, Narcissists Don’t Think They’re Normal
    2:35 Narcissists Know Exactly What’s They’re Doing
    6:55 How Narcissists Can Change Their Behavior
    9:54 Everything Narcissists Do Is A Manipulation
    11:25 Can CPTSD Cause Consumption Of Alcohol?
    12:41 Can Switching Environments Between Loving And Abusive Contribute To CPTSD?
    14:00 Adult Children Of Narcissists, Being Raised By A Narcissist Mother, Moving On From A Relationship With A Narcissist, Covens Of Narcissists
    19:08 Useful UA-cam Channels On Psychology, The Games Narcissists Play
    23:15 Dealing With Intrusive Memories, Confabulation
    28:45 Going To Counselling With The Ex, Tips On How To Love Yourself
    32:29 What Is Psychopathy, Difference Between Independence And Fear Of Vulnerability & When Narcissism Becomes Irreversible
    37:48 Is Psychopathy Inborn And Can Empathy Be Learned?
    42:00 The Formation Of NPD And BPD
    46:12 Better Aspects Of Our Culture

    • @colettedixon4040
      @colettedixon4040 4 роки тому +8

      RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH as my overt narcissistic mother said about my covert narcissistic sister “that’s just the way she is” don’t mind her- a crap lesson for a child to accept so I feel that a narcissist observing another narcissist sees that behavior as normal 🌸

    • @SteveM-gj2vy
      @SteveM-gj2vy 4 роки тому +6

      A good background adds to your presentation. A world class expert like yourself needs the right props. This is better.

    • @rose4490
      @rose4490 4 роки тому +2

      @@colettedixon4040 I'm very grateful your comment! This is the type of stuff that my mother says about my sister quite often.

    • @newandoldtech5634
      @newandoldtech5634 4 роки тому +1

      Are you talking about blue blood?

    • @szoya5365
      @szoya5365 4 роки тому +3

      9:54 he became such a beggar... he wants only sex, to brag me (and who knows how many more supplies) about his aptitudes of control... it took me 2 years to figure him out :/

  • @kelliebilinski
    @kelliebilinski Рік тому +31

    The hardest pill to swallow was accepting they not only knew what they were doing eas hurtful but was intentional and thrilling for them

  • @drlarrymitchell
    @drlarrymitchell 4 роки тому +344

    "Abandon sincere communication when communicating with the insincere." GOLD.

  • @vivienwade4378
    @vivienwade4378 4 роки тому +447

    The narc loves playing the victim . It's their Oscar winning performance..

    • @nickgardner101
      @nickgardner101 4 роки тому +35

      They say the same about their victims

    • @vivienwade4378
      @vivienwade4378 4 роки тому +37

      Yes they love to pass the blame

    • @Glittergirl87
      @Glittergirl87 4 роки тому +28

      Vivien Wade Yes the victim mentality and the guilt tripping.

    • @leighatkins22
      @leighatkins22 4 роки тому +29

      Mind Of An Empath says "People will provoke you until they bring out your ugly side, then play victim when you go there" & they're so right...
      So I say "Look, i'm clearly not a nice person, so you should get away from me for your own safety & run as fast as you can, coz I clearly can't control myself & you're only gonna get hurt more. So off you go then, in fact, let me help you save yourself..." *sly smile as I hold the door open & shove them out* ;) use their own game against them man...
      I've actually let someone verbally slash my face in front of everyone in order to end a shitty friendship & let it fall to the floor & die... it was a price well worth paying coz what they didn't understand in their rage was the ugly beast inside them leaking out that they allowed the innocent bystanders to see as they attacked me without provocation or defence on my part. Ppl don't forget stuff like that when they see it, & these narcs do it to themselves without realizing. It's not until they're limping that they look down & see that they shot themselves in the foot, but it's too late now & everyone else knows what they are :(
      Give ppl enough rope to hang themsleves & the dumb ones will.

    • @leighatkins22
      @leighatkins22 4 роки тому +11

      @@vivienwade4378 I've always felt that blame is such a stupid waste of time & a purposeless activity, generated by the ego in order to dodge growth & self-improvement.
      And ppl seem to have this dunder-headed mindset that we can't fix anything until we've found someone to blame it all on 1st, THEN we can fix it... wtf??? And narcs seem so pre-occupied by this political blame routine... someone knocks a glass of milk over & a round of "shift the blame" begins, meanwhile the carpet is becoming sodden with what will later be a sour stench for weeks... small-minded morons...
      Can you imagine how many Appollo 13 astronauts would have made it home if they followed THAT protocol?

  • @lunemandarine
    @lunemandarine 3 роки тому +13

    Merci for all the goods vibes. It's sometime hard To look at reality without fear or pity for our self. I took my life back a year ago after a breast cancer with out help from my partner. He was seing someone else when I was in chimio, acting like I was already dead. But i survive and I discover what going on. It's so hard to acknowledge that nothing I know was true. 15 years of slavery. I' m pround of my self, I' m strong and I need to be a role model for my five kids. I Will be better and enjoy m'y freedom. I wish you wisdom and love. ☺

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 7 місяців тому +2

      You should be dam proud of yourself!!

    • @mvbigmagic4048
      @mvbigmagic4048 4 місяці тому +1

      Yes! You should be proud! My dad never left. 52 years of gaslighting by my mother, and when he died this past January (2024) she had alienated ALL his relatives, siblings, and even me. His only child. She refused to let me talk to him, because I didn't give her control over my money.... It's true what Richard says.... gotta keep eyes wide open, when you say "No" to a narcissist.... what all they will use to emotionally traumatize you. Luckily, my dad caught on at the very end, and told me to go and live my life and "be happy." He knew.

  • @simplyabundant4769
    @simplyabundant4769 4 роки тому +51

    Funny. My ex would tell me he's a totally "normal guy" all the time. Meanwhile, he believes he's the next coming of the messiah. Literally.

    • @alethiamillner5603
      @alethiamillner5603 4 роки тому

      😲😲😲😲

    • @vg7985
      @vg7985 4 роки тому +2

      My ex was repeating all the time that he is not just right, he's saint ( to put up with me). I think he believes it.

    • @mashakalinkina7207
      @mashakalinkina7207 4 роки тому +4

      Isnt that so annoying? Its always switching between/simultaneously exhibiting opposite things. Being a control freak infantilizing asshole & also a screaming toddler who wants you to take care of them & woe is me how come you hate me so!? Total total lunatics.
      It’s like that for Everything: i Rock/i suck. Ugh. Pick a fuckin’ lane.

    • @sorchx
      @sorchx 4 роки тому +2

      Mine told me he thought he was an indigo child. The way he said it too, fully convinced he was someone very very special.

  • @kemiadetayo7896
    @kemiadetayo7896 4 роки тому +8

    They know exactly what they are doing!!! You are so right!!!! Thanks for confirming what I've always thought.

  • @luckylisp455
    @luckylisp455 4 роки тому +9

    Do they think they are normal? They believe they are SUPERNORMAL, SPECIAL, UNIQUE AND ONE OF A KIND.

    • @nessauk2786
      @nessauk2786 4 роки тому +2

      Lucky lisp: what they dont realise is they are dellusional.

  • @Joonasaurus1
    @Joonasaurus1 4 роки тому +7

    Narcissist ‘I need your advice on something, should I do this or this option...etc’? Me ‘yes I’d choose that option’. Narcissist ‘I disagree, I think this option is best’. Me thinking why the f**k ask me then in the first place!

  • @jamiepentz4682
    @jamiepentz4682 4 роки тому +52

    Love your eyes. That color looks good on you.

  • @alaskawoods9205
    @alaskawoods9205 4 роки тому +23

    I have witnessed what I had suspected might show up one day, as time went on: an alter ego. I swear, it was as if an alien life form got beamed into my kitchen. It was chilling having this stranger suddenly in my house, standing in front of me. I had no idea what he would do, this space alien from another world. So... having a fractured soul, is he not someone else's victim, and how he came to be this way?

  • @petalparker5
    @petalparker5 4 роки тому +17

    Yes, I noticed a long time ago I noticed his behaviors are very selective. He has a repetoire of reponses and reactions and now I can predict which one will be next. It's a spiritual sickness a lack of integrity and moral fibre not a mental illnes. They know what's right and wrong they simply don't care.

  • @Marcelube
    @Marcelube 4 роки тому +3

    Your answering in this q&a is so complete. And so is your humility in not bothering to mention other mental health practitioners. Actually, that is humility and self worth combined in considering the problem as a global one, and not about caring about getting more customers only. Congratulations on thank you for ALL your work and approach to it, Richard. You're an incredible person.

  • @hbhooooihbbgvv
    @hbhooooihbbgvv 4 роки тому +57

    Them taking your money is more than just them feeling they are entitled to it, it's also a control mechanism, that money is an ability to get things you need, pay bills, feel secure, have some kind of freedom, and they don't want you to have any of that.

    • @beesnatch83
      @beesnatch83 4 роки тому +4

      The root of all evil

    • @misskarmen
      @misskarmen 4 роки тому +5

      @@beesnatch83
      The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.

    • @misskarmen
      @misskarmen 4 роки тому +10

      Stealing our money is them controlling our possibilities, our ability to flee, our ability to protect ourselves, our access to legal resources. Damn, I hate a thief worse than I hate a yeast infection.

    • @beesnatch83
      @beesnatch83 4 роки тому +5

      @@misskarmen you win 😂 this is my favourite comment.. yeast infection your a genius 😂

    • @Natalie-gb8tt
      @Natalie-gb8tt 4 роки тому +4

      figuring it out they are very stingy with money They love their frequent foreign holidays while you could be struggling just to have enough food for the week.

  • @chloebell333
    @chloebell333 4 роки тому +13

    I am dying to hear of your Aya experience...your journey is so many of ours...inner alchemy, spirituality and healing. Thank you for sharing!!!

  • @dragonflowergardens3254
    @dragonflowergardens3254 Рік тому +2

    They can switch it on and off when being threatened. So true! I also started pulling out my phone and recording him every time he would start gaslighting, lying and manipulation. WOW.. it is completely unsettling to watch shape-shifting. I think this world will work.

  • @intelligentcat192
    @intelligentcat192 4 роки тому +2

    "Being an asshole is not a mental health issue:)" Thanks for clearing that up!

  • @kristineopsommer
    @kristineopsommer 4 роки тому +23

    Is it just me or does Grannon look awesome in that shirt??? I didn't know his sleeveless numbers could be equalled...🤤😊

  • @bloominglate6258
    @bloominglate6258 4 роки тому +5

    OMG you explained everything!! I KNEW I was right! I had a parent who would abuse me bcuz I reminded them of their parent ( my grandmother)they hated and I had a psychiatrist treating me for PTSD telling me they were most likely schizophrenic and sick. I had a lot of anger because my parent could turn it off and on at will and I contended that control made it an act of will. They could be wailing on me shouting to the neighbors could hear,the phone would ring and then sweet as pie my parent would answer! I hated that. So that person was NPD and I have repeatedly been attracted to NPD men to the point now that I think if I "fall in love" that is itself a red flag and at this stage of my life(50s) I'm going to simply seek companionship and not "a great love".

  • @seviyorim
    @seviyorim 4 роки тому +5

    If you can record them and they’re aware of it and they don’t freak out over it, it’s already a good point of leverage. I can’t imagine being permitted to have recorded them with their knowledge!

  • @askrhonnie6356
    @askrhonnie6356 4 роки тому +2

    Richard - your videos have brought me some much needed comfort. I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s time to finally leave. Cheers.

  • @papakael8247
    @papakael8247 4 роки тому +1

    Richard, your videos helped me through my darkest days. Thank you for helping to hold my pain through validation & knowledge.

  • @JamieHager0727
    @JamieHager0727 11 місяців тому +1

    I’ve always said they were in control, they know exactly what they are doing. How I found out was a situation that happened when I cut my husband off from speaking. I even apologized. I was called worthless by the end. So a couple weeks later we were at his grandmothers (she is god in his eye) well same situation happened were she cut him off from talking and even turned to me and smiled as if she knew. But my husband just sat there. That was the moment I knew he was in control.

  • @denisehain2726
    @denisehain2726 4 роки тому +8

    The little Sharman is amazing shes totally the best

  • @vallis1469
    @vallis1469 4 роки тому

    "Absolving them from quilt"....EXACTLY what I've had pulled on my for a lifetime. Spot on, Richard. Thank you.

  • @nahmastay7497
    @nahmastay7497 4 роки тому

    Richard, you are so on point in this video and most of your others. Thank you for being a confident voice for the psychologically abused population. You're a credit. Mo

  • @kimpage915
    @kimpage915 5 місяців тому

    My Aunt is a MN and I've counted 14 different personality, and she can change on a dime when she wants to ! It's creepy as hell. Telling me with a snappy tone, she always gets what she wants! She loves and thieves on maken others angry, humiliating them, shaming and guilt tripping, So quick and fast to send them in confusion, so they have no time to think !

  • @ahimsaalexander9004
    @ahimsaalexander9004 Рік тому

    Dang. You’re good. It’s so true how you’re not going to be as good at playing the Victim with a narcissist just b/c you’ve not made it a lifelong lifestyle! I’ve tried it a few times and am beyond amazed at how quickly that goes south and then my asshole side wants to come out just b/c it is so invalidating and obnoxious. But the beauty is when you wake up and see there is a choice typically in having to engage- grey rocking is so weird to watch play out.

  • @maureensinisi8915
    @maureensinisi8915 4 роки тому +6

    The only good thing that I have to extract from being involved with such a person has to do with life being a mirror--we face ourselves. Everything happens for a reason. If you are smart, you will see these aspects in yourself and clean up, recognize it through suffering and learning the truth. When there is no more learning necessary, it will end. Truly disordered souls cannot. Clean up and carry on.

  • @Mrscory77
    @Mrscory77 4 роки тому +3

    Wishing you a safe journey Into the unknown..may you find all the answers that you are looking for..🙏💫☯️♥️

  • @jeeed6390
    @jeeed6390 4 роки тому +3

    At 5:46. “What they do to you, family members, etc (mental abuse, gas lighting, etc)”
    An extension question would be - Are narcissists curious why more people don’t practice these same abusive strategies?

  • @michelefaydobb7247
    @michelefaydobb7247 4 роки тому

    I have listened to a number of people on You Tube, but it has been sporadic. Not sucking up, but I find your work-over quite a few years with a break when off social media-/ suits me. And, there’s room for everyone. It’s not a competition ( that’s something narcissist’’s often think everything is about- and all I’m saying is that we can all easily buy into a competitive mindset in this culture. Also, by saying myself that I prefer Richard’s work could look like idéalisation etc. Our discourse needs to change. Another thing U like about Richard Grannon is how he is precise about , and with, language and definitions, and- often-reframing or questioning the question or statement in order to find what the meaning really is in asking -/and then responding accordingly, and with acute specificity.

  • @adrennahall3959
    @adrennahall3959 Рік тому +1

    Richard Grannon thank you so much for doing these videos I am not sure what I'm dealing with he's done so many cruel things to me and I am trying to learn as much as I can about different personalities it's quite overwhelming for me right now but your videos have helped me tremendously!

  • @Newlife2100
    @Newlife2100 4 роки тому +1

    But if they legitimately believe that they are superior, and they aren't, doesn't this count as delusional behavior and therefore a psychological issue?

  • @anitaroempke7310
    @anitaroempke7310 4 роки тому

    Thank you Richard, it is sooo heartbreaking having seen this person at her worst, and after that in public watch how totally changed she is, like a nice, smiling, person, it', is incredile, you don't believe what you are seeing!!!!!!!

  • @aerofart
    @aerofart 4 роки тому +3

    @7:30 I started doing this before watching this video and experienced the same positive results. She would literally be playing out a convulsive Narc Rage, but as soon as I pulled out the phone to record her she would retreat like a lion does to the whip of the trainer. This works with audio as well as video BTW.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 3 роки тому +1

    They can switch their behavior on and off, yes, but they divide people in to two categories Richard. Those above them. Those beneath them. They treat these two groups very differently. I have witnessed this.

  • @mirelladlima5278
    @mirelladlima5278 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks. I get it. I was working on the inside stuff in my past. Outside stuff perhaps in time. Getting there 🙏

  • @bostonrachel9066
    @bostonrachel9066 3 роки тому

    I see a Panda Bear, Spirit Animal Guide w/you so very clear here!
    *If you dig into their meaning as a totem you'll find everything from understanding the Yin~Yang, balance, being a spiritual leader etc...I had to say it bcuz it's so very clear...They can change over time but in this video, yes.

  • @leprechaunalley7207
    @leprechaunalley7207 4 роки тому +3

    I have several recordings of him in a narcissistic rage. He just doubles down. He doesn’t care. He becomes more adamant or pretends it’s no big deal.

    • @corsicanlulu
      @corsicanlulu 4 роки тому +1

      sounds like a classic narcissist, the ex richard talks about sounds like a covert/vulnerable one. they are the ones who wear masks in front of people

    • @leprechaunalley7207
      @leprechaunalley7207 4 роки тому

      corsican lulu Exactly!🤗

  • @rachelh5182
    @rachelh5182 4 роки тому +2

    Dr Ramani is another good one. And also Dr Carmen Bryant

    • @sarahjohnson8514
      @sarahjohnson8514 4 роки тому +1

      Rachel H ASSC DIRECT too.

    • @rachelh5182
      @rachelh5182 4 роки тому

      @@sarahjohnson8514 yes. Esp the vids where you can see him.

  • @caitlinbell2144
    @caitlinbell2144 4 роки тому +1

    Good luck with the weekend R, very brave! Thank you for making the video

  • @arturodiaz1063
    @arturodiaz1063 3 роки тому

    These people think they are it. That is until they meet someone else who is tougher with words and merciless.

  • @joshclayg
    @joshclayg 4 роки тому +2

    An individual void of morals isn't by default "ill".
    As mentioned, sometimes an arsehole is just an arsehole.

  • @paulamalone493
    @paulamalone493 4 роки тому

    Brave!! Good luck, I’m sure many people are going to benefit from your journey. Looking forward to hearing about your experience.

  • @king-qo8fi
    @king-qo8fi Рік тому

    i like your name, unusual and masculine. I appreciate you & your input on the subject of Narcissists. Very valuable.

  • @soskika419
    @soskika419 3 роки тому

    Mr. Grannon, once I went to Paraiba State in Brazil and now I realize your eyes have the same beautiful color of the Paraiba sea. God bless your eyes and soul. Warm regards from the coconut farms in front of that beautiful sea water. Best wishes sent your way.

  • @Mary-mx3ec
    @Mary-mx3ec 4 роки тому +2

    Have a wonderful weekend. Can't wait to hear about your experience. ❤

  • @robinantonio8870
    @robinantonio8870 9 місяців тому

    My mother , and every other narc I have been the victim of, only treated me in this way, not anyone else. If they can control themselves in the presence of others they know what they are doing

  • @Guyjharrison
    @Guyjharrison 3 місяці тому

    the problem is, if you can't trust someone then you cannot believe them when they are giving you info so then you would be able to help - I had a friend who is a pathetic, old, fragile narci and I try to be selfless and thats how this narci latched on to me - after some time and non-stop giving him the benefit of the doubt I confronted him and he chose to threaten me and I reminded him that I don't threaten, but if I do I will see it through. He backed down immediately and then I leaned in, pointed at his face and told him that if I see him anywhere around where I live I will consider that a threat. And then I let him see the butt of my pistol and stared at him, ready for him to make one threatening move. This is how you handle a narci, if they wish to try you.

  • @echowalker2153
    @echowalker2153 4 роки тому

    You are sumthing else Sir Richard! Thx for sharing your insight.🐎🕵
    You mentioned someone coming out of the programming. I believe I have. My dad was a malignant narc. I pulled away in 95 when my Mama passed. 11 years of intensive psychotherapy and developing my own art therapy method got me in touch with it. I started studying NPD in 2018. I acquired a BS in BS & a BA in C.PSYCHOLOGY...
    Just scratches the surface. 🤦🕵💣

  • @irenam9817
    @irenam9817 4 роки тому +1

    I've seen ex in apsolute rage but then a friend showed up and the ex switched into a friendly loving person in the time it took to open the door. I was like. 😳 I then realised he is not out of control, he was very much in control of what he is doing. Before then I thought he is doing the best he can... 😂🤭 Poor him has rage issues but he trys so hard to control it. 😂😬

  • @astralcat4880
    @astralcat4880 4 роки тому +7

    Dr Les Carter Surviving Narcissism is also a helpful UA-cam channel.

  • @mindfulconnectionsmatter
    @mindfulconnectionsmatter 2 роки тому

    Things got so bad. The reframing was off the charts. I had to record him for my own validation. When I played it back...it made me sick to my stomach. It worse than I thought. Circular conversations and his rage kept me from truly seeing what had been going on. Unless you experience it it is so hard for people to understand what you went through

  • @9000ck
    @9000ck 4 роки тому +1

    Depends on their level of insight. Insight fluctuates for a number of reasons; level of stress, intellectually capacity, how important it is to maintain the narcissistic defenses in a given situation and the severity of narcissism. A severely narcissistic person rarely has insight, for example. But someone who is not very bright and only mildly narcissistic might also lack insight. Only intelligent narcissists with mild narcissism who are relatively stress free have a chance to develop insight.

  • @barefoothippies
    @barefoothippies 4 роки тому +1

    love love love love. thank you. It doesn't matter WHY it's abusive, if it's abusive ----------> leave.

  • @hbhooooihbbgvv
    @hbhooooihbbgvv 4 роки тому +4

    Ayahuasca !! Wow, that is gonna be an experience, it's quite interesting but I wouldn't have the emotional or psychological abilities to handle it, I don't think. Are you gonna chat about your experience on the channel? Take care and hope all goes well.

    • @thirstonhowellthebird
      @thirstonhowellthebird 4 роки тому

      figuring it out Omg I hope he documents it and let’s us see it🤭

  • @bobbrandi2620
    @bobbrandi2620 4 роки тому +1

    I had to laugh today, because I realized, the narcs in my life working together, are trying to make all the flying monkeys believe, I'm the narcissist. Now I understand the games being played, lol, what a large favor they've given, lol!
    Gray rock away yay!

  • @carom6879
    @carom6879 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much, Richard!

  • @KimsLantern
    @KimsLantern 4 роки тому

    Jesus- seriously- the bit when you talk about recording your ex. Her reaction says everything right there. That shit is lightning. ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

  • @louisedavies2096
    @louisedavies2096 4 роки тому

    I recorded him too but didn't tell him until afterwards. I did it for my own piece of mind that I wasnt crazy. The rage was incredible and the discard immediate.

  • @MsSedonan
    @MsSedonan 4 роки тому

    This is crazy-helpful! And you look great, the background is very nice, very neutral and elegant.

  • @GailTscherrig
    @GailTscherrig 3 роки тому

    Nailed it at last. I knew there was something not right with the relationship I had with my sister. I recorded her once and she just blew up. (I only recorded her because she had controlling behaviour and was really mean). she just hated being captured or caught red handed.

  • @MindOverEverything
    @MindOverEverything 4 роки тому +1

    They think they're demigods, but they definitely DON'T think / admit / realize that they are narcs.

  • @dawnross2514
    @dawnross2514 4 роки тому +4

    For anyone who likes Richard's content and isn't averse to more woo with your psych' stuff, perhaps try Stacy Lee Hoch, Joanna Kujath and/or Amanda Flaker. ☮️

  • @gigiarmany4332
    @gigiarmany4332 4 роки тому +1

    You are a great narator & insightful blogger, love your channel 👍🏾❤ and your blue eyes are gorgeous 🤪😊😊❤

  • @kristihutter7499
    @kristihutter7499 4 роки тому

    I laughed out loud...Being and asshole is not a mental health issue...

  • @raerae6604
    @raerae6604 3 роки тому

    I love the way you deliver your points. Great info but presented with humour and really engaging. You should take up stand up comedy! Too funny! 😂👍🏼

  • @d.o.5094
    @d.o.5094 4 роки тому

    I REALLY like the reality factor, going with "asshole", that behavior is what it is! Society had a label for every ridiculous little thing today.

  • @felicitydowning7970
    @felicitydowning7970 8 місяців тому

    But Richard this NPD comes from childhood trauma and never gone for help. Sad! Thanks. ❤

  • @powerhouse2024
    @powerhouse2024 4 роки тому +1

    Ahhhh the covert display of vulnerability.. standing ovation worthy.. and no one ever matches the depth they manage to access after the first contact. We've never been loved like a covert narc can love us, at least that's what they say every day while they look down their nose at the disappointment that is our inability to be a puddle of desperate aching love by the first phone call. I feel like they should show up to a first date with gothic outfits, have us change into them, and the first date should be sobbing on queue in a graveyard while mascara runs down our faces in mad passionate eye-gazing desperation. If we can pass that theatrical test, then we might have an appropriate energy level to handle the texting portion of the onslaught, I mean relationship.

  • @foxygayla
    @foxygayla 7 місяців тому

    Hello. He knew that I would block him before I blocked him. So he's done this before to his exes before me. I never knew he was a narcissist until the end. I ignored the red flags.

  • @shastafog2516
    @shastafog2516 4 роки тому +2

    UNLESS you are co-parenting.
    What are you doing to my young kids. 👹🥴🤔

  • @noelhoffmann6057
    @noelhoffmann6057 4 роки тому

    Dr. Ramani is awesome too!

  • @tunisiathompson7677
    @tunisiathompson7677 4 роки тому

    Brilliant! Just discovered your videos and I love your content! I have been binge watching and have learned so much! Thank you!

  • @Reddragons111
    @Reddragons111 3 роки тому +2

    Waaaaait. I thought in earlier videos i leaned narcissism was entirely a trauma response. How can there be agency if they are responding to trauma induced shame / low self esteem etc. not defending them
    lol. Just wanna understand.
    Also i would like the men i date going forward to wear that sweater.

  • @drbrettvn
    @drbrettvn 4 роки тому

    This is awesome. Thank you. Please do more of these on this topic!

  • @tim5417
    @tim5417 4 роки тому +1

    Great video, great questions and great answers!

  • @justinmajor5917
    @justinmajor5917 Рік тому

    How do we leave, though? Assuming we are financially dependent. He has rendered me useless. No money outside of him., no friends, no car, nothing. I am in a town where you cant walk to anything, literally or it will take you days. I'm lost. Hopeless. Depressed, and angrier than have ever been in my life. I want more for my baby and dont know the first place to get out as he loterally controls all of our money.

  • @sharonmcdonald8724
    @sharonmcdonald8724 4 роки тому

    My ex Narcissist would constantly say I'm normal. He always tried to convince me of this.

  • @kathylewis7543
    @kathylewis7543 4 роки тому

    I had to deal with both a female and male narcissists they both lost a parent at an early age and became the center of attention and nothing was ever their fault so this served them very well they are both in their 60s and still works for them. If you don't play their game which is they win they will destroy you with any person who will listen and believe! Whole families play along one asked me why Couldn't I!!!

  • @bluewaters3100
    @bluewaters3100 4 роки тому

    I was married to a man for 25 years and it was crazy for me because I did not know what narcissism was and I felt crazy and angry alot. He told me in the beginning that in college girls used to tell him they felt he was perfect and they weren't. He had this ability to make you feel like he was brilliant and you felt like it was true. But he never really shared himself with you. It is really hard to explain. I felt very isolated because we moved alot so he of course could do want he wanted. Yet whenever I did something or went to a seminar he would insinuate that it was somehow not as "high spiritually" as what he was doing. We both were spiritual seekers for all of our marriage. It was always the passive aggressive things that made me feel uncomfortable and lonely. To everyone else he was just amazing and I was the one who just did not appreciate what I had. He didn't scream or rant or rave about things. He just did very covert things constantly. It was the constant stuff that was crazy making. I would ask him to water my outdoor patio plants while I was gone for a week end seminar. I would come home and my plants would be dead because it had been so hot and he did not water them. If I said anything he would say I was overreacting or to just go get more plants. He never admitted he was wrong. In fact after my daughter was born he tols me he wanted to confess that he had slept or kissed almost every girl we knew or some I didn't. But he said he would not do it again. Wrong...I finally could not take all the covertness anymore so I filed for divorce. That was when I found out he had been secretly sleeping with a good friend of mine and now they were going to move into a place 1/2 mile from me to be close to our two kids. The divorce was worse. I now do not see or speak to him or the girlfriend. No family dinners. My daughter splits the grandkids time between us. My girlfriend never apologized for what she did. This is her second time now as a step-mom and having an affair with a married man. I have no friends anymore. They are all somewhat crazy still and I can not trust them. This is just the condensed version of life with a narcissist. Everything he does seem ok to his friends. My daughter just wants somekind of father relationship so I have to swallow lots of angry feelings when around her and my granddaughters. The 5 year old knows something is off between us. I refuse to be around him and she has asked me about it before. They all think he is wonderfull. He takes them places and buys them things. He totally screwed me out of my money and has left me without anything financially. I can honestly say he ruined most of my life. But now I am wiser and more self aware. Wish it had not come at such a high cost.

  • @benwestwood2061
    @benwestwood2061 4 роки тому

    As a long-term watcher I still think you should be knighted. If I was king u would get one automatically lol.
    I'll be referencing you in my next book Richard. Unfortunately mos mental health services in the uk are not up to your speed with all this and too often the system works in favour of the abusers, with those crying out for help seem anxious, agitated and fobbed off as a bit neurotic.
    God bless you Richard, you are a top bloke mate.

  • @MonicaG-p2t
    @MonicaG-p2t Місяць тому

    I just realused how one my last major insecurity is in fact constantly hammered by my former, NPD, partner. So it's mostly due to that.

  • @2A1C1downURnext
    @2A1C1downURnext 4 роки тому

    My ex and I had a disagreement back in the day and I had become suspicious that it was all an act. She started her usual boo hoo sobbing, and I left the house via the garage, faked my walk down the stairs, opened the garage door & shut it. The moment the door stopped, the crying stopped. I tiptoed back up the stairs, opened the door, and she was having a cigarette with a big shit eating grin. I said, "busted" and her proud grin turned to horror. I left and went to my buddy's house. I knew then for sure that it was all an act. When I came back hours later, we didn't speak for days. The next time she started in on me, I told her it wouldn't work any more. I removed all affection and 3 months later she moved out. Good riddance, child.

  • @GwenLening
    @GwenLening 4 місяці тому

    Ty for extensive learning❤ I do EMD tapping which helps me, and I am attempting to learn the tapping program you suggest to diminish flashbacks.

  • @nix1434
    @nix1434 4 роки тому +1

    Looking good dude = Anyone else see the striking physical resemblance to Ragnar from Vikings? Or is it just me 🤔

  • @zigggyyyc7342
    @zigggyyyc7342 4 роки тому

    I think for a lot of people asking this question it is more 'Do they think they are normal as in unaware that they are abusive assholes/bitches?' . As far as the DSM goes, I think they have justified it being a mental illness with it being trauma based. Like borderlines they are trapped in these child-like games. Do you think their brains are literally fucked up?

  • @its4yourowngood_yvfw
    @its4yourowngood_yvfw 3 роки тому

    Just 10 months with him and I have dealt with every single example/ behavior that folks describe as a narcissist. I finally left because he damn near ruined my life. If I were feeling dramatic I would say he has. And he still won’t stop. He feels I have been the one to ruin everything and “fuck him over.” Now that he knows im definitely done and never coming back he basically says I should leave town. I put it that way to spare my dignity and spare your comfort.. what a monster.

  • @user-ny8xt1ui3h
    @user-ny8xt1ui3h 4 роки тому

    The little shaman's channel, it is wonderful

  • @michalamoodie8632
    @michalamoodie8632 4 роки тому +1

    One of the biggest complements I ever got was that I was the most well adjusted normal person a friend of mine had ever met. Here I was thinking people everywhere could see how damaged I was then I'm told I'm well adjusted.. 🤗👏

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER 4 роки тому +1

      I agree. I got my biggest compliment from a French student host father who told me that I was "quite well and sane" as a (German) narc psychologist's daughter LOL! 👍

  • @NyaLittlebird
    @NyaLittlebird 3 роки тому

    Dammit... That decision tree thing. Yep.

  • @marklover143
    @marklover143 4 роки тому

    I understand the process of narcissism to be compulsive. Once the cycle begins to spiral towards the malignant end, the "choices" that they make are in fact controlled; but the cycle is not. This is why the disorder is not 'curable'. The cycle must be broken outside of itself. But with malignant narcissism, the very entity which can save itself is the very 'self' which is hidden.

  • @derekbarcial6358
    @derekbarcial6358 3 роки тому

    Sounds like the default reference is to Overt/Grandiose/Malignant narcissists. Covert/Vulnerable narcissists don't act this way.

  • @senadatabic197
    @senadatabic197 2 роки тому

    How many lives are affected by them….so sad 😢

  • @srmillard
    @srmillard 4 роки тому

    completely agree that Cluster Bs know what they're doing. And as a result the *high functioning* ones are the most dangerous/manipulative. They can regulate themselves under different circumstances but ultimately they are typically the victims of trauma and have CPTSD, which results in *involuntarily* cognitive distortions, mild paranoid and delusion, etc.

  • @ahimsaalexander9004
    @ahimsaalexander9004 Рік тому

    “Ask Generation X” 😂😂🙌

  • @starlight5655
    @starlight5655 4 роки тому +3

    kinesiology - minority group comment affecting knee is interesting ??

  • @Wisdomseeker5
    @Wisdomseeker5 4 роки тому

    MiddleSchools should have phylosophy and creat discussion about humanity, reality and life...❤

  • @sandraforber7834
    @sandraforber7834 4 роки тому

    I love your channel, but your look very tired,,,,, hope ur getting ur rest ..sending blessings towards you, + thankyou for steering me onto the right path 💖🥰🌺 xx