Techniques for Talking to Strangers

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 95

  • @Zeyev
    @Zeyev 8 років тому +81

    A friend asked me how I find out that so many people I encounter have something in common with me. I responded that I first say "hello" and then other things come out. It is amazing. Thanks for the confirmation that I'm doing something right for once.

  • @CantThinkofaCoolOne
    @CantThinkofaCoolOne 8 років тому +67

    Americans are great for random chats with strangers. I saw it and experienced it myself on all my visits to your great country, and New York people did it best. It inspired me to do it more in my own life.

  • @IINabz
    @IINabz 8 років тому +35

    The only reason I watch these is because I think he's got the best fucking sense of humour ever.

    • @Partario
      @Partario 7 років тому +9

      I agree! The suit and the interested cute face certainly add to the character

  • @garyhorsman
    @garyhorsman 6 років тому +19

    (Love you, James!)
    I believe picking up conversations with people you don’t know has so many more benefits than downsides.
    A big part of being comfortable speaking to people, especially ones you don’t really know, is feeling comfortable in your own skin. If you like yourself and have self-confidence, that goes a long way in being able to reach out to others. Plus, when others see your comfort level, they become more open.
    And there is a feedback loop that the more people you speak to, the easier it gets.
    Besides, you’ll likely discover that the vast majority of people are fairly decent and are willing to interact. Yes, you will run into people who are socially awkward, just want to be left alone or need privacy or maybe they’re just having a bad day. You can just pick up on those social cues and let them be. You’ll learn it’s not personal.
    I used to mumble quite a bit, either out of laziness or reluctance to engage. But now I speak in a clear tone with enthusiasm and I notice people react much more positively than when I used to speak low. (Mind you, not everyone, but then they might be tired or grumpy, nothing to do with you.)
    What a difference it makes in your whole outlook to engage with the world instead of staring at a screen.

  • @daisydrawsstuff4227
    @daisydrawsstuff4227 5 років тому +19

    My immediate thoughts seeing this guy saying hello to everyone in a smart suit and tie is that people will definitely mistake him for a religious missionary trying to preach

  • @bassemb
    @bassemb 6 років тому +37

    The presence of the camera and mic changes the dynamic, sadly.

  • @kkgt6591
    @kkgt6591 6 років тому +58

    Me : Hello
    Stranger : You gotta dolla

  • @alenatorres7071
    @alenatorres7071 8 років тому +22

    This is so true! When my husband and I travel we sometimes try to start convos with others and I always end up feeling like they think we're trying to pick them up.

    • @LucanianIndico
      @LucanianIndico 6 років тому +1

      Aren't they too heavy sometimes?

    • @sdaly415
      @sdaly415 6 років тому +1

      You were that couple on the bus in Mykonos all those years ago? Yes, I did think you were trying to pick up on me.

  • @sbush9113
    @sbush9113 2 роки тому

    Thankful to live where I live.... normal to speak to everyone AND engage with strangers!!

  • @thorstensou2283
    @thorstensou2283 5 років тому +6

    Civil inattention is one reason I prefer cities to villages. It doesn't make me feel lonely, it rather makes me feel secure.

  • @LambentIchor
    @LambentIchor 6 років тому +3

    This is a like a lesson in how to become Irish. We have a kind of a meme about how every little country road in Ireland has that one old guy who waves and says hello to everyone.
    I live in London now and after 30 years I still will just talk to strangers. While some people are startled a little, often because the only time people will try speak to them is to hit them up for spare change, they will relax and talk once they don't see you as having ulterior motives.
    I remember once a woman I started chatting to at a bus stop said to me that when at first I started talking to her she was going to get up and walk away; but then she caught my accent, and realising I was Irish it put her at her ease. It made me laugh, and I realised that people are probably used to us being this way.

  • @wearealljustclowns
    @wearealljustclowns 6 років тому +4

    cities need to make friend benches. so people who are willing or want..know exactly where to go to meet. and help each other..maybe save lives.

  • @LapisGarter
    @LapisGarter 8 років тому +20

    3:28 Nope!

    • @eddebrock
      @eddebrock 8 років тому

      True. IRL I'd never come and say I agree with you.

  • @d.lawrencemiller5755
    @d.lawrencemiller5755 6 років тому +32

    Did you say 800 million???

    • @JunSian1001
      @JunSian1001 6 років тому

      That is almost 2.5 times of U.S.A.'s total populations!! XD

  • @PPandaPete
    @PPandaPete 6 років тому +15

    That guitar guy probably never went out with his guitar again.

  • @andreashoppe1969
    @andreashoppe1969 5 років тому +2

    It was so easy to chat with strangers in NYC. Even if it's just small talk… I find it a lot harder in Europe for some reason and I don't know why.

  • @arlingtonguy54
    @arlingtonguy54 6 років тому +72

    Strangers that talk to me are exactly the kind of people that I don’t want to talk to

    • @myprettygirl91
      @myprettygirl91 6 років тому +2

      pretty much

    • @ArruVision
      @ArruVision 6 років тому +8

      Yet here you are, striking up conversation with all kinds of random people who are into talking to other random people.

  • @julieholland2165
    @julieholland2165 6 років тому +3

    Omg. I'm from MN and talk to random people all the time. It's so much easier to be that way with people.
    It's not unusual to have people say, it was really nice to meet you and it was so good talking to you!
    But in this video, where you're in some odd proximity to them, like the guy playing music. It would seem too intentional and contrived. (He clearly meant to be off the beaten path by himself as opposed to playing while sitting on the park bench) You may be the one person in someone's day to make it or break it. So make it!

  • @Amurphybartlett
    @Amurphybartlett 5 років тому

    "You just want me to say 'hi' to people?.. They're going to think I'm a weirdo..." lol yup that pretty much sums it up

  • @MunthApollo
    @MunthApollo 6 років тому +1

    I think shorter hair looks really nice on James Hamblin! As a side effect, it makes him look a little older too, but that doesn't really matter.

  • @Aztecatl7
    @Aztecatl7 6 років тому +34

    I hate small talk, however I like deep conversation.

    • @altertopias
      @altertopias 6 років тому +5

      perks of being an introvert

    • @solarnaut
      @solarnaut 6 років тому +5

      I was once told about someone else, "He doesn't understand the importance of small talk." Oh? Is it important? Well.... it can be the gateway to deep talk... but yeah...if a conversation doesn't gain a little traction pretty quickly, usually someone is gonna bail... if at first you don't succeed....try, try again.

    • @LaneCarter
      @LaneCarter 6 років тому

      Gotta start somewhere.

  • @TheLuismaBeaTle
    @TheLuismaBeaTle 6 років тому +2

    In my country you say goodbye to people as you pass on the street

  • @IllIlll
    @IllIlll 8 років тому +2

    James is such a ham, and easy on the eyes😁

    • @Blackice929
      @Blackice929 6 років тому

      Takes one to know one. ;P

  • @doyouevenreadbro5782
    @doyouevenreadbro5782 6 років тому +1

    I always say, “hey what’s up? I’m trying to use dating apps left, on the count of three let’s both swipe with our hands whether we should continue this interaction.”

  • @TallGreyMan
    @TallGreyMan 6 років тому +1

    The host reminds me of Tintin, Bobby Hill from King of the Hill and Ed Grimley.

  • @MaximusArurealius
    @MaximusArurealius Рік тому

    I often just wander around the local supermarket and talk to people.

  • @LonelyCinderella123
    @LonelyCinderella123 6 років тому +2

    If he said hi to me in the middle of a park I would say hi back and then go behind the bushes all surprised he didn't follow me.

  • @Dan-lq6dg
    @Dan-lq6dg 6 років тому

    Great video!

  • @finnblu3002
    @finnblu3002 7 років тому +8

    .
    .
    3:28
    a potential candidate or ...
    victim
    ?

  • @jemimahrajakumar7770
    @jemimahrajakumar7770 3 роки тому

    Civil inattention makes it easier for me to care less about what others think. Its easier to be yourself when you are confident that no one is going to pay attention in the first place, and even if they do notice you and think you`re weird or something they`re not gonna interact with you.

  • @LisaAyreSmith
    @LisaAyreSmith 6 років тому

    4:49 You missed the bus, Hamblin! :p

  • @internetshaquille
    @internetshaquille 6 років тому +1

    WHY THE WALL ART AINT HANGIN ON THE GOTDAM WALL

  • @treyshaffer
    @treyshaffer 6 років тому

    I don’t really want to talk to strangers. There’s so much noise, especially in a big city like NYC, most of the time I just want to enjoy some good silence and peace of mind.

  • @owenbrowne9288
    @owenbrowne9288 3 роки тому +1

    “No spoilers but Harry Potter dies” 🤣

  • @andreashoppe1969
    @andreashoppe1969 6 років тому +32

    No spoilers, but Harry Potter dies! lool :D

  • @Krebzonide
    @Krebzonide 6 років тому +1

    I think the camera made it easier for you to talk with people.

  • @alanpdrv
    @alanpdrv 6 років тому

    This video has so much meme potential

  • @boyinthepenaltybox
    @boyinthepenaltybox 8 років тому +2

    Is there a good reason these videos are no longer being added to the "if our bodies could talk playlist" ?

  • @itfeltsoreal
    @itfeltsoreal 6 років тому +2

    800 million people WOW. Too hard to reshoot that scene? Smh

  • @dontaskwhatkindofmusic
    @dontaskwhatkindofmusic 6 років тому

    outside of new york some of us talk to strangers

  • @aaaxify
    @aaaxify 8 років тому +2

    Interesting video. James Hamblin is entertaining.

  • @susampson278
    @susampson278 2 роки тому

    2:24 Hamblin misinterprets the Triangulation example. This mars the vid. There are various smart ways to use triangulation. Pickup artists in bars are masters of that.

  • @segolenegabriel2559
    @segolenegabriel2559 6 років тому

    I think I sometimes do want attention and all. But that's not always the case. Half of the time, I think, I just want to be left alone. And it wouldn't be a surprise if there are other people like me out there. So I don't think it is a rule.

  • @HaoSci
    @HaoSci 6 років тому +1

    New York City has over 800 million people. LOL.

  • @therabbithat
    @therabbithat 6 років тому +13

    please don't talk to me

    • @solarnaut
      @solarnaut 6 років тому

      First, step into a crowded room and demand to be left alone; Then, marry the sucker who falls for the "hard to get" play; Then get divorced; Then, Wish someone would talk to you ...

  • @Gan_Bangla
    @Gan_Bangla 6 років тому

    There's a difference between 800 million people and 8.4 million?

  • @frogambassador
    @frogambassador 6 років тому

    this reminds me of nathan fielder haha

  • @ibuydigital1574
    @ibuydigital1574 2 роки тому

    Playing obviously dumb works wonders.

  • @ilener1698
    @ilener1698 6 років тому +1

    I’m a native New Yorker, this woman lost me at hello😐. If you greet everyone hello you will be late for everything because in New York time is money. We are always rushing even if there is no reason to rush.🤣

    • @OtakuGunsoNY
      @OtakuGunsoNY 6 років тому

      "hello" is really all you need to say. As long as you acknowledge that someone is there then its really not necessary to do much more

  • @deweys
    @deweys 6 років тому +1

    I'd hang out with the Harry Potter lady

  • @technocro
    @technocro 8 років тому +1

    0:46 I fear there is a new 9gag meme for dumbness about to come!

  • @bgregg55
    @bgregg55 5 років тому +1

    RIP Harry Potter.

  • @acollectionofmeaninglesswords
    @acollectionofmeaninglesswords 7 років тому +8

    4:09 "I'm really big" HAHA

  • @tomasinacovell4293
    @tomasinacovell4293 6 років тому

    Cuff links, cuff buttons etc aren't good to have on over a guitar's top like that, that is another reason never to let anyone touch your instrument!

  • @kmanc8571
    @kmanc8571 6 років тому +8

    how did you come to the conclusion that New York was a city of 800 million people? that's like 2,5x the entire population of the USA

    • @drewbabe
      @drewbabe 6 років тому +10

      he included the sewer rats

  • @EdgarSanchez-xq9si
    @EdgarSanchez-xq9si 3 роки тому

    Hello people who will randomly get this in their recommendation.

  • @eddebrock
    @eddebrock 8 років тому +5

    Who the hell talks to strangers?

  • @dandanielv6626
    @dandanielv6626 6 років тому

    All women in NYC are big or are you who is short..

  • @LaneCarter
    @LaneCarter 6 років тому

    I like the what the woman is saying, but I feel like James is kind of mocking what she's saying. Maybe I'm just not familiar with the point of this series...

  • @cespinosa79
    @cespinosa79 5 років тому

    800 million? So it has more people than the entire North American continent?

  • @GoFarAway5338
    @GoFarAway5338 6 років тому

    The interviewer is funny. I don't think he knows that.

  • @rogersyversen3633
    @rogersyversen3633 6 років тому

    I miss that signaling that you are open to being talked to. Ive been working out in gyms for many years. some gyms have different cultures, but now I use a student gym with mostly young adults and there is almost no one open like this. everyone has their headphones on.

  • @bonob0123
    @bonob0123 6 років тому

    first sentence: 8 million NOT 8 hundred million

  • @philuptea
    @philuptea 6 років тому

    No spoilers but Harry Potter dies