A New York Real Estate Agent for Squatters
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- ON TOUR: Winnipeg: April 4-6, Atlanta: April 12/13, San Diego: April 19/20, Houston: May 5, Austin: May 3/4, Auckland NZ: July 24, SYDNEY: July 25, Melbourne July 27, Brisbane: July 31, Perth: Aug 1, ryanlongcomedy.com
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Comment for the algo fellas!!!!
Working on Editing my hour special now! Come see me on the tour
ON TOUR: Winnipeg: April 4-6, Atlanta: April 12/13, San Diego: April 19/20, Houston: May 5, Austin: May 3/4, Auckland NZ: July 24, SYDNEY: July 25, Melbourne July 27, Brisbane: July 31, Perth: Aug 1, ryanlongcomedy.com
You should come to Hawaii. Waikiki, Maui, Hilo 3 nights, 3 shows.
Come to Nashville!
When do you do NY next?
They can prove your political leaning with an MRI brain scan you know... Liberals have no disgust response in the brain..
You should scroll the obituaries for house openings. Travel agent was a genius move and the ten second count. Any advice for unblocking drains?
"traditional or squat" 🤣
Traditional is well more expensive
😅
What’s sad is this would not be an out of character thing for the far lefties to say.
I fell out, on that one. 😆
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Haha, I laughed out loud at that one!
This isn’t even satire. It’s news before the world catches up.
The joke at the twenty-five second mark is my exact reality at the moment
Agreed, and quarter of the world will still deny it exists
Stay tuned for the “ homeowners fight back “ sequel 😊
the best comedy is an uncomfortable truth... satire.
The weird thing is, it's been law for decades.
I used to work for a guy who done it big corporate city shops..
1. Print official lease
2. Hire locksmith (they can legally break in if u have documents)
3. Your now in.
Theres is a catch, if the squatter leaves the property then the owners can do EXACTLY the same.
It's just a case of who answers the door..
I love the quick cutaways to him just asking people if they're going on vacation anytime soon lmaooo
that's what your paying for my boots on the ground knowledge
I don't pay for your UA-cam videos! What is that, some kind of a joke? What are you, some kind of a comedian?
@@christaylor8337 If you pay for internet access you pay for his videos, in part.
@RyanLongcomedy We appreciate the ground level work you do.
@@christaylor8337 You pay with your THYME and nothing is more precious than that! Okay, maybe SAFFRON.
“No signs of life”. New York City in a nutshell.
I'm just glad I'll never have to see a movie/TV show romanticize it ever again.
Detroit 2: Electric Boogaloo
When you have squat needs inside New York you'll find plenty of opportunities from homeowners that have long hectic schedules outside of New York.
This guy is in Astoria. Very populated area with lots of long-time residences and lots of families.
There may be bodies walking around, but no life.
@@mustang607 True, like in many parts of the US/world that are very expensive, 1 person will own that and +5 other homes all over. It makes me glad that if they live in NYC and voted for it, they get what they voted for.
Just saw today DeSantis in FL passed a law making it easier for cops to kick squatters out. We are actively seeing which one will win. We all know Leftism will fail, it's just fascinating to see it in the same country at the same time.
Bro the pride flag signifyer is 250% on point 😂
Probably means it's already being squatted. 😂
100% gets your point across fyi
kinda nice tho
That was so funny.
Be Safe: statistically speaking....
Pride flag...non gun owner.
Rebel flag...gun owner.
The pride flag definitely means they won’t call the cops 😂
That was fucking hilarious!
@@MagnificentDevil
That is the supreme irony. They are people whose first and ONLY method of conflict resolution is snitching... and yet they openly rail against the same people they snitch to.
@@MagnificentDevil Add crying.
@@ephraimwinslow You just described leftists in general.
@@DinDooIt
Makes snitches pariahs again.
Imagine having to find a pre-squatted property on your own, thank you for all you do Ryan! Amazing service.
😂
"Gonna be a costly trip, mate." lmao
“Starter-squatter”
This isn’t satire, this is a documentary 😂
More of an infomercial really
@@red_boum
You’re right. Brad Bradley found that Ryan Long wasn’t using his channel for 3.4 seconds, so he swooped in to squat the channel and leave this gem of an advertisement.
“Starter squatter.” And “pre squatted options.”
😭😭😭😭😭
"You can see a souped up pride flag, which is a tremendous indicator these people are gonna avoid calling the cops at all costs." Brilliant and true. I love it.
Don't expect these people to adhere to their own beliefs..
-They will call the cops
-and because they have victim points the cops might actually show up
The funniest jokes are the true ones.
@@1986tessieI can't tell you what's funny. But you're going to have to leave the joke in upside down land where it belongs.
Because they will be the first to cry to the police.
New York is so unfriendly to owners of real estate that miss mortgage payments, but fortunately so welcoming to those that haven't got an ID, no documents, no lease and occupy an apartment! That is so interesting, let's see where this leads to!
They made a movie about it in the 80s. Kurt Russell starred in it......
Bonappetit ny.. you voted for it...
Its a bold strategy Cotton lets see if it pays off
You litterally entered the "My Big Fat Greek Wedding " dimension for a moment!!😂
He filmed this in Astoria, it's a very Greek neighborhood in Queens
@@VeritasIncrebresco excellent, thanks for the info!
"are you a homeowner?" "Traditional or squat" 😂
Lmao the "wouldn't want their newly squatted home to be burgalized" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Homeowner: "Yeah, I go on vacations sometimes."
Ryan: "Anytime coming up?"
Climbing out of the drain really added to the NY vibe.
He isn't a rabbi though
Can't believe that guy was just casually talking about when he would be gone 😂
Unreal!
yeah its so crazy, do you have any upcoming plans or extended stays out of the country? I am trying to decide my next vacation and could use some help. Whats your favorite spot? Also whens the best time to visit? Are you going this year? What flight path do you take? Do you have someone watch your house or have security camera. Thank you kindly in advance.
This is normal in high trust societies.
NYC is not a high trust society.
So are many New Yorkers 😝
Happens in Cleveland all the time, guy pretends to be a realtor, leasing agent, or a landlord with "multiple properties" and gives fake leases to people with jacked up deposits, getting first, last, and a hefty deposit before they show up to a property where the keys don't work. They even have condemned properties they use, called Bandos. This video was supposed to be funny, but it's real. Too damn real.
This is actually referring to when a homeowner goes on a trip and someone breaks into their house and starts living there. Imagine going on a trip only to return and find some stranger living in your home. Naturally you call the cops but the person living there says they have a lease. Suddenly it's a civil matter and you have to go to court to get them out. It sounds insane but the laws these squatters are taking advantage of were put in place with the best of intentions, to ensure unscrupulous landlords don't use the police to effectively evict a tenant by claiming the tenant is trespassing instead of going through the proper procedures. The thing is you don't have to be a landlord to get burned by this, anyone who owns a home that is left unattended for even a few days is a potential target.
That's not squatting.
@grantmcinnes1176 obviously, it's to say that people make money off other people's properties, abandoned properties, and so on. It's not just squatters that ruin people's lives, it's a whole grift in major cities.
lol then the people show up to the bando and find some gangbangers doing business inside
@@studentofsmithIncredible, thanks for describing the issue. I was a little confused about how this could happen. My husband always seems a little paranoid when he tries so hard to hide it from anyone/everyone that we're leaving the house for a vacation. Someone did break into our house a few years ago, they were just burglarizing though. Someone broke into our car too a few months ago when we were at the park within eyesight of the car! And I feel like we live in a relatively safe area. It must be really hard in some other places right now!!
You actually showed the guys plate and made him tell us when he is going on vacation…he may actually get squatted or robbed lmao
😬 true.
How many people actually have cop or DMV friends willing to give them registration information on a strangers car?
@@McP1mpin There are many ways to find info without involving DMV or cops. Easiest is google... You can google a license plate and actually find out who the owner is...
Once you have the name, you need address. This one is a bit harder, unless person lived in a place for a very long time. Sometimes google and/or social media will give it right away, sometimes you will need to find workarounds.
But yeah, google will give you all info in like half the cases, especially if the person lived somewhere for a long time
@McP1mpin well established gangs/mafia will have people on payroll, especially New York.
@@McP1mpin to be honest I thought it was public info, so if not then it’s prob nbd
modern based comedy is so much better than whatever is on mainstream these days. imagine if comedy central was still a thing?
I miss Battlebots. Closest I've ever come to caring about a sport.
@@ephraimwinslowI was real excited for battle bots when it came out, but the robots were so lame. I’d like to see a new version of that show
@@jtmann2002
The rules were set up to make a flipper the most feasible build by far.
Upsets were few and far between, and most actual matchups were a rock-paper-scissors kinda deal... but something about seeing a giant sawblade fly 12~ feet into the air before slamming straight into a rotating augur never managed to get old.
@@ephraimwinslowohhh fuck yeah, grew up with my lil sis watching that shit lol. Absolutely loved it when they went through them obstacle courses
@@ephraimwinslow-- I was always bothered by BattleBots. The concept was great. The implementation sucked. None of those bots were any good. My high school competitions, that the show was obviously modeled after, had a LOT better and more innovative designs. BB on TV was all the same crap with a bigger budget and no really new thinking or concepts. Putting it on Comedy Central, where I'm looking for...comedy...was pure idiocy.
Returning the sheisty mask is completely unhinged.
Well, it was too big for his noggin. He HAD to return it.
"These people are going to avoid calling the cops at all costs"
ahhh haha I love the Greek response to his attempt at "squatter scouting" lol, that's my people right there! "Please leave" 😆
The OG Greeks in Astoria are the best 🤣
based greeks
I really want to see Ryan Long collaborate with Nathan Fielder. Their mockumentary comedy styles would gel well together.
Interesting. I would love to see it but have trouble imagining them together lol. Very different styles to me but that could play to their benefit
@@Bubdiddly Very SIMILAR styles, I'd say - the deadpan style while saying absolutely outrageous stuff. That COULD be a great collab!
Brad Bradley is the best agent in the squatter real estate business!
He found that Ryan Long wasn’t using his channel for 3.4 seconds, so he swooped in to squat the channel and leave this gem of an advertisement. Kudos!
Thank you Ryan, you helped me and my anigos from Venezuela and Nigiria find a nice multi family town home.
This is one of the best things I’ve seen in a while. Thank God there are some NYers like him willing to point out the ridiculousness, but in an intelligent, hilarious way
It’s nice to see someone tackling the housing crisis in a way that makes a big difference!
“These people are going to avoid calling the cops at all costs” 😂
Hope you are only showing the places of people that support the squatters, that would actually be a service to humanity.
Thank god for cruises, Tom included 😅
glad that didnt slip through the cracks haha
I heard it, but it went over my head. What was it a reference to?
@@davidbrinnen Tom Cruise
@@friesontheside_ Oh, thanks, right, I feel a bit silly now for not getting that - the mission impossible fella. Doh.
I always have to put my water down when I watch Ryan’s stuff. Never know when something he says will truly make me LOL and spit out my drink.
"I wouldn't want their newly squatted home to be burglarized by criminals..." ..😂😂👌🏻
"Traditional? Or squat?"
personally i prefer calling it "surprise free tenant"
0:26 this is hitting to close to home. Sincere worrries at the moment.
Ryan making me laugh about real life is always good.
You could have said to the Greeks, "When did you start squatting in those homes of the Minoans" "Twenty-five hundred years ago. Worked out for you pretty well right." Or "George Washington went and squatted on some land the French said they owned. Squatting works." I do this for your algo
LOL
The Greeks squatted outside Troy for ten years 😂
I started laughing at 0:01. "Brad Bradley" had me dying. Ryan is unstoppable
SNL could never make something this funny nor point out that NY's far left policies make this crisis happen
They are going to avoid calling cops at all cost 😂
I knew you’d come up with something for this!! Nice!
1:27 "Gonna be a costly trip, mate." I died. HA!!!
CNN be like:
Ryan is such a genius. This one spot on again
Squatting is so common the idea of a squatter agent should be on shark tank. 😂😂
😂😂😂
Those old people innocently telling the strange man about their travel plans. 😭 No grandpa!
Ryan always ahead of the curve when it comes to work opportunities 😅
Love the yellowed posters in the travel agency
Imagine seeing a dude in a suit and a mask crawling under your gate from your camera system 😂 Loved this one!
Hello Ryan thank you for the tour.
These homes look decent, but is there something a bit more upscale? I feel like the market is flooded right with supply of low to mid range homes, but my family was looking for something in the $3mil+ range with a pool
We are very experienced: 10+ years of squatting, so I think we deserve it.
Let me know if you have any leads and thanks for your business.
Bruh honestly surprised you didn't get arrested
lol on the Countdown to declare it officially SQUATTED
Can we appreciate that the man is probably doing much more work than a traditional real estate agent? Totally worth his fees.
Got to start your own MLS (Multiple Listing for Squatters).
😂
What's alarming is that before clicking, I thought this was for real, until I saw who's video it was. It's only a matter of time before you actually see this in real life. Heck, this video might inspire someone to sincerely try it.
Lol in some states this is for real
This is already going on in NY which is why he did the video. They had a Venezuelan guy on TikTok making videos showing how invaders can come squat and take over houses in the US and scam welfare as well.
Yes it can! Because it's hilarious and super witty! 😂
The worst is that this is REAL. In Spain (socialism) the government does courses about how to squat. Paid with our taxes. Socialism!!!
I want to say I don't believe you but I do because we live in an era where men are encouraged to and celebrated for creeping into women's bathrooms and sports teams and all sorts of spaces.
😂😂 No way
😮
This would be funny, except they war gamed this plan a long time ago. This situation isn't a by product of stupidity.. it was orchestrated.
When you mix flour, eggs, milk, and butter and come up with a cake.. it's not a surprise.
They knew this would happen, and they planned it. They don't care, because 1) their lie doesn't have to make sense, the people who did this will never be impacted by it, and they never be held to account. Someone else will always pay the consequences for it.
What's #2?
@@ReglazeRX or sorry, i didn't know it had to be perfect for you. 2) the people who did this will never be impacted by it, and will never be held to account. Someone else will always pay the consequences for it.
Should I even be surprised that had to be spelled out, again?
@@metoo7557 Hey man you're the one who started making a list and stopped at 1).
😄👍
@@ReglazeRX What's the big picture for importance here, the message or your feelings?
@@metoo7557 It was a joke and then trying to explain the joke was a huge mistake.
I'm sure this reply will only send you deeper into your salt mine.
😄
Xavier: Renegade Angel, Squatopia Episode.
Look it up, they low-key predicted this.
Also it's on youtube for free, so you have no excuse.
Ryan is so fucking good in this format it's unreal. It's like he's made for it. Ryan plus one camera guy, with NYC always as the background third character.
NYC the drunken uncle. Oops, I mean aunt!
Oh, the tragedy of it all! Can you imagine the sleepless nights, the endless pacing, the wringing of hands over missing out on that whopping 6%? How will life go on without that sweet, sweet commission from unearthing such treasures? It's a travesty, a mockery of the very foundation of treasure-finding! We must immediately start a petition, perhaps even a national holiday, in honor of this lost commission. Let the people march in the streets, demanding justice for the unrewarded treasure hunter! "No finder, no fee? No way!" they'll chant. Who knew the pursuit of compensation could spark such a revolution? Alas, until that glorious day, we'll just have to console ourselves with the thought of what could have been. The yachts! The private islands! All just dreams dashed by the cruel, unforgiving rate of 6%.
That first one needs to be next to a free liquor & goodies store. Can you find one with lots of pretty glass?
i lost it at 'traditional or squat" 🤣
Power Points bonus for filming this in Tiffany Cabán's Astoria, Queens.
It's like an air BNB that you don't have to clean
Such important work. THANK YOU!
Tim Dillon's real estate agency could hook you up with some nice California properties.
My favorite part was when he said “it’s squatting time”
Fucking hero. Way to SPEAK THE TRUTH.
That was some great advertising for that travel agency. That is one agency in which, at a minimum, they pay lip service to not divulging information to enable the equitable redistribution of property.
Passing your info to a few peeps I met at the gated squat community, Big Rock Candy Mountain. It's a great place, everything they need rolls downhill, but a few of 'em miss big city life.
Cash Jordan has been documenting and explaining everything in deep detail what's going on in NYC if anyone is missing out.
“It’s gonna be an awesome trip mate!”
Few mansions in LA and Miami just freed up I heard 😂 good locations, large rooms. Could even throw a party or two
I think the cops are still watching those.
Can’t do it in Florida. DeSantis passed a law against it and owners can get squatters out fast!
@@ninawilliams7701 yea that law should be mandatory every where. It amazes me how quick people start to listen when there is a boomstick pointed at them crazy how that works isn't ? like who woulda thunk of that ?
Bruh, I’m sitting here by myself laughing my ass off
Ryan Long sketches keep getting better and funnier.
The material is on wholesale
Is this a parody? I honestly, cannot tell... cause afterall, it's NYC
*You a homeowner? Traditional or squat?* 💀
This might be the best skit I've seen from you 😂😂
F*cking hilarious! 😂
No one does the topical comedy like Ryan
I love how reality is so insane these days that satire is now basically just stating what is actually happening with zero hyperbole or exaggeration.
Pride flag: no guns and they won't call the cops, we call that a JACKPOT.
squatting is the new American dream
2:36 Mmmh. In my limited experience: People who are THAT bound on showing how "good" they are, are even more likely to call the cops...
But if someone wants to try it, I'm supporting him/her/them/xim...
Talk about "Truth in Jest" 😔
She's busy with the funeral arrangements 💀
So hilarious and sad at the same time.
Come on America we can do better. MAGA!
@2:35 -- Those people hate the police. Yet, they will call the police if you correctly gender them.
So they are actually the most prone to call the police. They include men that get naked in front of 8-year old girls in the girl's locker room, and then call the police when you admonish them for their indecent, illegal act. Even the facility's manager will call the police, when you try to protect that 8-year old girl from that naked, adult, male predator.
After they call the police, they will take their pride flag, block traffic, and call for defunding the police.
Congrats Ryan. That is a great niche for you. Definitely a growth market. It's only up from here.
I'm so glad you have a steady job again!
Once again Ryan is way ahead of his times. I wish he could troll Trudeau
I have known someone in Paris who was among a group of squatters (4 families with kids), who had an informant inside the Paris public building service. He would told them which building weren't used but still got electricity and water and when they might be used anew. When they were there, they did maintenance work, so whe they leave, the building was often in a better shape than before. They did that for 8 years without trouble. You wouldn't imagine the number of unused public building in Paris (4 digits)
Try to find less morally corrupt acquaintances.
I wish the people that squatted in our low income homes, while my family legally qualifies as low income people/ homeowners /landlords actually left the houses in at least the same shape that they started off with rather than trashing our homes that we put so much time and energy into, only to have them destroy it.
I understand the plight and morality of that particular situation with those 4 families, they sound like they were exceptional, skilled and somewhat moral.
The squatting business gets more and more competitive each day! Soon there will be no place to truly squat! Start squatting now to avoid having to squat later!
This is what happens when you have lots of people who don't own property voting for people who promise to punish property owners.
Democracy is two renters and a home owner voting to give squatters more rights than home owners.
The problem is that a lot of those laws do make sense when used to protect actual tenants. We need to close the loopholes that allow squatters to abuse laws that actually do protect good people in many circumstances. I'm not anti landlord or anything like that but just like there are shithead squatters, there are shit head landlords as well and we need protection from them
Idk why yall stay pretending that politicians keep their campaign promises or that “squatters rights” was ever a party position.
Sounds like a great system to protect the poor. You should move to India where they have a caste system to punish the poor, you would love it
cry me a river. I've been telling you ppl for years, if you don't want migrants, stop making them, but instead of listening, ya'll were like "we're not making migrants", well, enjoy fruits of your labor now, and keep voting for war criminals
@@WakandaleezaRazzyou're right, they dress it up as helping the homeless or social justice
Just move in and turn on the lights!!!!😂
Remember that most of the empty properties are owned by BlackRock, and therefore it is perfectly ethical to squat in them.
If there was a way to mark them.
Only problem is the police WILL arrest you if you're squatting in a BlackRock property
Y'know every time I watch a new video from Ryan, I wonder to myself what's he going to do when he runs out of things to spoof and satirize.
But then ridiculous shit like this is happening in the news and I remind myself, it's 2024, the world will provide.
kind of undercuts title insurance when a title isn't even necessary, eh?
Squat on land. They’re not making any more of it.
Starter squater 😂😂😂 too damn good
What sort a commission does this guy earn? In this video he did more work than any traditional real estates agent ever did.