You'll change your mind once you get a boyfriend.

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  • Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
  • Ever heard this from someone? It can be discouraging and frustrating. Here's how to deal with negativity from others about your decisions.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 298

  • @IshAmethyst
    @IshAmethyst 5 років тому +650

    Everyone thought I'd change my mind when I got to Uni. But I didn't - even when a boyfriend came along. Girls we've got this, by the grace of God. It is possible because you're not doing it on your own. God is fighting for you!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +17

      Thank you for your witness here :)

  • @hannahcherney5627
    @hannahcherney5627 5 років тому +259

    “Excuse me while I roll my eyes from California to Kentucky” 😂 yes Emily, seriously. That perfectly sums up my reaction too

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +9

      Glad you're in solidarity on that 😂

  • @shannonrandall7871
    @shannonrandall7871 5 років тому +110

    Broke up with my boyfriend who I was madly in love with because of this. If maintaining a relationship requires compromising on your most fundamental beliefs then I don't want to.

    • @mariposarn8038
      @mariposarn8038 5 років тому +11

      Good for you Shannon! If someone wants to be disrespectful and push the presence of your boundaries, introduce them to the presence of your absence. No relationship is worth not being valued. He should love and respect that, not pressure or bully you into fulfilling his sexual needs for the moment. Stay strong! You've got this!

    • @sarahbourne1872
      @sarahbourne1872 5 років тому +7

      That's the attitude!

  • @alyssabird720
    @alyssabird720 5 років тому +262

    I have had a couple of boyfriends. I never wanted to have sex with any of them outside of marriage! We only ever pecked on the lips.
    Now with my current boyfriend that I've been dating for 8 months,we have not even kissed!
    We love waiting! It makes us more intimate emotionally and spiritually!
    It's easy to wait when you're BOTH wanting to respect each other's boundaries. It's a beautiful thing!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +33

      I have a friend waiting until marriage to kiss, she is currently engaged, and it is a beautiful decision that I respect so very much!

    • @alyssabird720
      @alyssabird720 5 років тому +19

      @@emwilss yeah, we've decided to wait until engagement to kiss, but who knows? Maybe we'll decide to wait until marriage to kiss. I do feel weird about sharing my first kiss in front of lots of people, though 😂

  • @emeleeortiz6529
    @emeleeortiz6529 5 років тому +84

    I dated one man who was “okay” with my choice to save sex for marriage. But in reality it was not “okay”. I felt a constant weight over me telling me I needed to do something to keep him around. I unfortunately gave into pressure and advances he made. The minute I broke up with him I had such a sense of FREEDOM! I will never again be “okay” with someone who pretends to tolerate my beliefs. Sweet gals, you all deserve so much more than a man who tolerates you. Yes, getting a boyfriend makes chastity harder. But having a husband who has promised his life to you is worth the wait. Your heart deserves far more than conditional love. Cheers to all the beautiful ladies and gentlemen waiting for each other, ready to exemplify the love of Christ to the world!

  • @laurentheheiress98
    @laurentheheiress98 5 років тому +161

    22, single, and going strong!! I've heard a combination of negative things.
    "Oh, that's cute."
    "Your boyfriend's never gonna stay with you if you hold out on him."
    "TBH you should get practice."
    "You're the only one making that decision."
    "You're repressing yourself."

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +27

      Good ridiculous additions to the list. So silly the things people say.

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 років тому +19

      Heard the you should get practice one! 'How will you know what you like?'. I'm sure I'll figure it out when I'm married?

  • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
    @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 років тому +137

    the one i heard THE MOST was "you test drive a car before you buy it" and my response was a little more cocky but it left people without a response ..
    it was "you don't test drive a rolls royce. you either want it or you don't". And i do see it that way because i hold my values and my commitment to God is such high regard that it is a precious thing to hold, and you are either going to commit knowing my value or you and your lower standards can walk away.
    Harsh to some, but it is my truth.

  • @Maria-dx6iq
    @Maria-dx6iq 5 років тому +349

    I will NEVER change my mind, and if a guy I'm dating pushes me to not be pure...bye boy! Girls out there, God is first and the boy is second. Always stand firm to what you have promised to God and to yourself! Thank you for this video Emily!! love you :D #Amen #StayPure

    • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
      @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 років тому +21

      love the fire behind these words!!
      my husband wasn't a christian when I met him, and even with that, the minute he found out about my decision to wait until marriage he supported it because of how strong my stance was. He found God, we we dated 2.5 yrs, engaged 6mths, (+2 of friendship) and we waited! And on the tougher days were my hormones wanted more, it was him that stood for my values and honour.

  • @Nikki-ks6wi
    @Nikki-ks6wi 5 років тому +122

    It's so much easier to say no and walk away feeling good about yourself in the long run than to say yes and have to regret to overcome.

  • @rosemarydriscoll2888
    @rosemarydriscoll2888 5 років тому +162

    I always feel like when people find out I’m a virgin and waiting for marriage they act like I don’t know what sex is and I’m like 🤦🏻‍♀️ umm nope definitely very aware which is why I have chosen to make it special for me and my future husband.
    Love this video! Thank you!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +19

      For sure, girl. I thought the SAME thing.

  • @chrissylong6001
    @chrissylong6001 5 років тому +163

    I always wonder why people even care? It me. My life. Why does my personal choice to wait bother you?

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +33

      I always wonder the very same thing.

    • @tracib.7725
      @tracib.7725 5 років тому +7

      In my experience with these sorts it’s because they can’t/couldn’t and they are either jealous, they actually pity you or find it amusing.
      Jealous- be flattered
      Pity- appreciate they care
      Amused- blow them off. They are twisted and don’t deserve your time.

    • @shanaeb4814
      @shanaeb4814 5 років тому +1

      I’m someone who’s waiting and personally have run into what people feel like it means for them if/when they find out. To them it doesn’t matter what or how it’s said. What matters is that they “feel” like you’re shaming them, being self righteous, or holier then thou. Especially if they didn’t/aren’t/ or again waiting. As in what they think/feel you think or say of them.

    • @kristinamitrova5210
      @kristinamitrova5210 5 років тому

      Honestly, I couldn’t agree more. I just wish Christians had the same “practise what they preach attitude” when the shoe was on the other foot - respecting other lifestyles as they expect others to respect their own. I mean, come on, people, it’s basic human morale! I personally disagree with the Christian view of this issue, but since people making this private choice literally doesn’t harm anybody, I will never go further than saying I don’t share their opinion. If I’m asked to elaborate why, sure, I will, but I will never use demeaning or entitled language. And I quite frankly wish that Christians (and it’s not all Christians, but sadly, it’s the majority) did the same when discussing other lifestyles that harm no one, just don’t align with their doctrine. Peace.

    • @withsisu2324
      @withsisu2324 5 років тому +2

      For real though! They always make a point about minding their own business when it comes to same sex marriage and similar issues but when it comes to a Christian's chose of no sex before marriage they lose their minds!

  • @Lovlytune
    @Lovlytune 5 років тому +141

    "That's so unfair to the man" is something I've heard a lot.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +112

      Oh GOSH!!!!!!!!! That is just pathetic!!

    • @Lovlytune
      @Lovlytune 5 років тому +40

      @@emwilss I never know what to say except "So I'm not apart of the picture then?"

    • @faithwisdom788
      @faithwisdom788 5 років тому +49

      "I disagree. A man is not entitled to me and my body and if he doesn't like it he can leave.. If he truly loves me he can purpose and marry me." How's that sound?

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 років тому +17

      Ah yeah heard this one - like 'do you think you'll actually find a guy who wants to wait?' 'he'll only wait so long for you' etc.

    • @marystellarg4121
      @marystellarg4121 5 років тому +22

      I've heard that, I hate. It's pathetic and disrespectful on so many levels to both men and women.

  • @TheGeekApprentice
    @TheGeekApprentice 5 років тому +172

    YAS! I get so incredibly peeved by the people saying I'm "adorable" for choosing this or that I'm apparently just "too afraid" of the apparent good I'm missing out on. And I'm like, yes, it is a good...so good in fact that I am choosing to respect my soul and my body by saving that good for the one person I can trust will not abandon me the day after: my future husband. And only once we've made that commitment to each other, not before, will we engage in that. We are all worth more than low standards.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +16

      I bet the people blink their eyes stunned at your conviction. Go. Girl.

    • @missjesscrafts4603
      @missjesscrafts4603 5 років тому +5

      YES!!!! This is amazing. Thank you!!

  • @halimorrow6025
    @halimorrow6025 5 років тому +26

    The first time I told someone that was saving sex for marriage the responce was "you realize no man will ever stay with you". I was 11. Thankfully I never believed it. I am 21 still going strong. Something I like to remember when I'm feeling down is that even if the people around me don't believe in me God always does and with him anything is possible!

  • @jujujuj0ce
    @jujujuj0ce 5 років тому +69

    I always hear the “aww you’re so innocent ☺️” one!!! 😓😓😓

    • @nobody-og5tl
      @nobody-og5tl 5 років тому +6

      ughhhh yes people tell me that all the time (I'm 20, single, and never had a boyfriend yet)

    • @sambailie4773
      @sambailie4773 5 років тому +6

      It's so patronising when they say that x

  • @playlists8989
    @playlists8989 5 років тому +69

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

  • @RachelESmart
    @RachelESmart 5 років тому +25

    “You can’t just believe everything your mom does. You need to have your own opinions.” -my friend 🙄

  • @samuelscarborough859
    @samuelscarborough859 5 років тому +7

    "You're just making up an excuse for not getting laid"
    I hear that so often it stopped bothering me.
    Every chaste man has heard that multiple times.

  • @ruth5227
    @ruth5227 5 років тому +27

    Someone told me that, “well that’s great and everything, but it’s gonna be difficult to find someone who is also doing that too.” I know that that statement is pretty true, but it would’ve been nice to be encouraged instead of doubted. Also people LOVE saying “you need to test drive a car before you buy it.” HATE THIS ARGUMENT! Emily, I love what you said in response to this: “Daniël is not a Toyota...”😂humorous but true!!!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +9

      Ya. Send them the video with Andrew and tell them to watch the whole thing :)

  • @hannahrosereviews5073
    @hannahrosereviews5073 5 років тому +12

    I've been told (mostly by other female friends) that I will never find a husband because no guy would be willing to wait for me. To that, I would respond with "Well then, I won't have a husband. Simple!"
    I've also been told that it will be very difficult to find my future husband. To that I would respond with "It'll make it easier for me to find Mr. Right because he will be the one willing to wait."

  • @gracestier6447
    @gracestier6447 5 років тому +177

    Heard this so much!!! Many people don’t believe that my boyfriend and I have a chaste relationship!

    • @IshAmethyst
      @IshAmethyst 5 років тому +37

      Oh yeah that's so frustrating! When people assume you guys are actually lying, but it's just a reflection of them, not of you!

    • @kathleengaffney52
      @kathleengaffney52 5 років тому +4

      Same here girl!

    • @allisonclark491
      @allisonclark491 5 років тому +1

      @lisa lol. Just kidding. Keep fighting the good fight. Proud of you!

    • @leslieisepic
      @leslieisepic 5 років тому +15

      Completely relate as I'm in a chaste relationship with my boyfriend. It's like it's expected to have sex once you're going steady with someone. People can't just accept that you're choosing to remain chaste despite that the majority of people are giving into their sexual desires. My boyfriend and I are both committed to waiting until we're married despite what other people tell us, including family members.

  • @thomasturton1118
    @thomasturton1118 5 років тому +23

    Guy here: me and my wife didn't change our minds. Further still guys/gals: if they try and pressure you into that kind of thing, dump them on the spot.

  • @NatureSmarter
    @NatureSmarter 5 років тому +139

    I am starting to lose faith that it's actually possible to do and people around me aren't supportive either. Would you please pray for me?

    • @joda1859
      @joda1859 5 років тому +20

      Don't lose faith! You are strong and it is possible!

    • @alyssabird720
      @alyssabird720 5 років тому +17

      You can do it! It's not always easy, but will be worth it to wait!

    • @kathleengaffney52
      @kathleengaffney52 5 років тому +18

      Set yourself up for success if you are afraid you will be tempted. Don’t go in each others rooms, and stay where people could see you at any time. It doesn’t mean you can’t kiss, but it makes it impossible to go to far

    • @jesusistheonlyway249
      @jesusistheonlyway249 5 років тому +13

      Just keep in mind how special your wedding night will be if you have saved yourself for marriage! This is a great gift to yourself and your future husband! He and you will be super glad on that day! x

    • @rosemarydriscoll2888
      @rosemarydriscoll2888 5 років тому +12

      You are not alone in this fight! I will definitely pray for you!

  • @spider-sonicproductions531
    @spider-sonicproductions531 5 років тому +61

    I’ve had someone tell me that having sex is a normal part of dating and even the purpose of it. 😱 God bless and protect us all!!
    Emily, you are such an inspiration and your videos continually affirm my choices to strive to live a virtuous life and you give me so much hope for this world. May the good Lord bless you abundantly!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +20

      Praise the Lord! And if sex is the purpose of dating - we're in for some UNHAPPY marriages....which seems to be the mindset people are going with and it's not really working out that well, I think. So glad you are here - thanks for your comment!

  • @rebortiz28
    @rebortiz28 5 років тому +21

    I found when I was with my boyfriend, I wanted even more to honor both of us by saving ourselves! I am so thankful we stuck to that because even though we thought we’d be together forever, God’s plan was different and we’ve since broken up. We saved so much hurt during our break up by NOT getting too intimate with each other. Not only will I be able to meet his future wife and know that I didn’t take any of that away from their relationship, I know I can go to my future husband and know I am giving every last bit of myself to him and I didn’t let things get out of hand. I know that we’ve honored each other and our future spouses and I am so thankful that we stayed chaste throughout our relationship!

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 5 років тому +14

    One of my "favorites" is, before you have a boyfriend, they say something along the lines of "well, I guess you'll die alone then because you're too picky."
    Implying that
    1) You must compromise your morals to obtain and keep a romantic relationship.
    2) Romantic relationships are the only thing in this life that matter, so you better compromise your morals to obtain one.
    So annoying!

    • @AnaLu07
      @AnaLu07 5 років тому

      👏👏

  • @10Raccoon
    @10Raccoon 5 років тому +15

    I once had coworkers actually laugh at me when they found out I was 18 and still a virgin. Then they started pushing me to hook up with the dish washer even though I had met him like once.
    I will be 22 tomorrow, still never had a boyfriend, still never had sex and definitely still waiting.

  • @kathleengaffney52
    @kathleengaffney52 5 років тому +35

    Amen sister! People don’t believe me or they think I’m so sheltered and afraid of sex. No! This is a choice that I made way before I had a boyfriend and he hasn’t changed my mind one bit. He makes me even more excited to save myself actually. Being in a relationship and choosing chastity has made us way stronger and more mature then we would be if we had sex. It shows strength to choose chastity, not weakness!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +8

      Ah yes. What, are you afraid? One I heard too. Love your witness, thanks for sharing it!

  • @pag9128
    @pag9128 5 років тому +27

    Your boyfriend should love and respect you and support your desicion to wait.

  • @AnaLu07
    @AnaLu07 5 років тому +9

    Hey,guys!!Can you pray for me??I'm passing through some hard times of insecurity and fear!!God bless y'all!!

  • @HaleyMary
    @HaleyMary 5 років тому +8

    I've lived chastely my entire life , 34 years, and struggle to meet a guy I'm attracted to who is also willing to wait. I hate being called pure and innocent. It's like, no, I made this choice because I'm educated and believe in waiting because I know it is the right decision for myself.

  • @lilacfantasy4
    @lilacfantasy4 5 років тому +5

    One thing I've heard is "You cant control it, so just let it happen." Scuse me? It's my body! I choose what it does! I find it ironic that usually it's people who belive in a womans choice over her body that also say I have no control over what it's going to do...

  • @bellsm5350
    @bellsm5350 5 років тому +6

    Also surround yourself with like minded people. The Word says bad company corrupts good morals. Friends with the same morals will make the journey easier and check you when you going off track

  • @annacrain1346
    @annacrain1346 5 років тому +8

    Craziest most disturbing someone said to me when I told them I want to wait until marriage.. “you wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them on”
    Eye roll from MN to FL!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +7

      LOL we're gonna have eyes rolling around all over the world. That's insane.

  • @margiehalpern4573
    @margiehalpern4573 5 років тому +14

    Whether you've decided to wait, or decided to "re-wait" after not waiting (having learned, perhaps, that sex in the wrong context can be the loneliest, saddest experience EVER)….this is NOBODY'S BEESWAX. So assuming a person isn't actually soliciting opinions from others on this matter, I would vote for abruptly terminating all conversation on this topic.

  • @addymayjones4928
    @addymayjones4928 5 років тому +6

    It makes me sad when I see people say that our minds will change on purity. Sometimes it’s hard when you feel like “everyone’s doing it”, but I know it will be SO worth it some day!
    I’ve heard someone say: “I would never even CONSIDER marrying someone unless I had sex with them first!” My heart sunk to hear someone speak that way. Marriage is about so much more than good sex! If I found someone who I loved, respected, found to be a good man, and thought was the one God had for me, I wouldn’t even consider if he would be “great at sex”. (Whatever that even means. 🙄)

  • @deeperfaith_
    @deeperfaith_ 5 років тому +31

    How true, sometimes people laughed or said that it's impossible to find such a man. But it'd rather be single and content than together with someone and unhappy because I decided to settle and give up on my values. And I do mean it as much as I would love to be a wife and a mother one day :) It's to me even harder to live chastity when people in my family, my closest relatives, are in favour of certain decisions (like for example cohabiting) which go against chastity and I have to/want to stand up for what I believe in. It's challenging because probably they ought to be supportive :)

    • @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice
      @AshleyYourLifeHisVoice 5 років тому +6

      preach it girl!! the right man will be one that not only honours your decisions but fights to keep your honour. Keep standing your ground, such blessings will follow you choosing God 1st.

  • @turtlelover-cq2jq
    @turtlelover-cq2jq 5 років тому +6

    People often assume that because I have made the decision to live chastely that I am somehow “innocent” or “naive”. Its so frustrating because it’s not an issue of not knowing anything about sex or being sheltered, but a genuine desire to honor God with my body. 😤

  • @renaissancegirl87
    @renaissancegirl87 5 років тому +74

    On dates I’ve had guys, even Christians, be absolutely flabbergasted that I’m still a virgin at 31. “What?! Really?! How?!”

    • @deannahiggs9277
      @deannahiggs9277 5 років тому +36

      I'm 28 I've never had sex, had a boyfriend, or kissed anyone. It is so hard. I'm about to be 29. But God's got my back.

  • @CynthiaL
    @CynthiaL 5 років тому +14

    Your message for young women is so wonderful. I have been happily married to my one and only - we weren’t even full participants in our Faiths at the time we met. There are so many logical reasons for young women to wait.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +5

      Yes there are - so true! Hi Cynthia! So glad you are here! Thanks for commenting.

  • @nataliestitak4915
    @nataliestitak4915 5 років тому +25

    Omg!!! Thank you, Emily!!! I so related to that part where you imitated people saying, "Aw, you're so cute and innocent!" I get this ALL OF THE TIME! But, knowing that I have a God who loves my innocence and knowing that (hopefully) one day I will have a man who also loves my innocence and wants to protect it, gives me EVEN MORE reason to fight the good fight and remain chaste! ❤❤🙏🙏

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +1

      Yes. yes. yes.

  • @moyrap9532
    @moyrap9532 5 років тому +64

    "How will you know if you and the person are compatible?"
    "I don't think it's healthy if you suppress yourself like that..."
    There's more, but those are the PG ones. Staying pure in college is FUN.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +13

      Oh girl. Hehehe - I've been there! I am cheering you on amidst the naysayers and negativity!!!

  • @marybeth3382
    @marybeth3382 5 років тому +6

    I'm engaged and we dated a year and a half. On the first date I told my fiance that I am saving that for marriage and just starting that early on in our relationship and having our relationship centered around Christ drives us to keep saving it for marriage. Our relationship was not centered around "when is the next time we can make out" instead it was centered around "When was the next time I can talk to him and spend quality time with him." I've had friends be disappointed in me because we are saving it. But we are not getting discouraged and we are looking forward to our wedding next year.

  • @marisadf13
    @marisadf13 5 років тому +16

    THANK YOU!! 👏👏👏 So true. Those remarks can be heavily discouraging. I don't believe most people are making an effort to be negative, however in certain tones and situations, those comments can come across as harsh and pitiful. In the past, I've been remarked as too "inexperienced" and "innocent" to make a significant decision like saving sex for marriage~ not going to lie, it hurt. And I'll admit that I questioned myself afterwards. YOU'RE NOT ALONE ladies and gentlemen!! This video was posted at a great time Emily ~ thank you again. ❤️

    • @stephaniejames4209
      @stephaniejames4209 5 років тому +3

      I hear you and sometimes the comments can come from a family member.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +3

      Marisa, love your comment :)

  • @TheAnnimusprime
    @TheAnnimusprime 5 років тому +5

    I am married with 2 kids, but back in high school I had a guy friend tell me he thought it was a really cool decision, but thought he should just let me know, so I wouldn't be disappointed, that I would never find a guy who would be willing to do that 😂

  • @extra_ice_girl
    @extra_ice_girl 5 років тому +19

    I’m 38 and my boyfriend is 36. People are shocked or don’t believe we don’t sleep together.

  • @yasmine9046
    @yasmine9046 5 років тому +28

    «If you're not having sex with him, than he is your friend», I've heard. Ahhh sex is not everything in a romantic relationship!
    The Kentuky thing made me laugh SO hard x) Loved this video! So much truth in 7 min. God bless you Emily

    • @ddh19454
      @ddh19454 5 років тому

      I have heard that friend ome before

    • @sarahjunker6584
      @sarahjunker6584 5 років тому

      I would hope the person one is dating is also a friend. 🤨 Comments like that really show how using others for our own gain or pleasure is so big in our world today 😭

    • @shannymesse4634
      @shannymesse4634 5 років тому +1

      If people keep telling you that ... Ask them why those who have one night stand or are friends with benefits can define themselves as "not boyfriend/girlfriend". You're right sex does not define a serious relationship...

  • @carolinaibarrolabarbara5095
    @carolinaibarrolabarbara5095 5 років тому +4

    I always heard those comments and I always answered that I knew it could get harder but I was sure I would stick to my morals even then. Now I have been with my boyfriend for two years and a half and we both choose to save ourselves and that actually have made the whole thing even more beautiful, cause we decided together and we are in the same page.

  • @cloelynch
    @cloelynch 5 років тому +10

    I needed this video Emily! I made this decision 2 years ago, and sometimes I wonder If that will be hard once I get a boyfriend, but to be honest, choosing to live chastity has been probably the most serious decision I've ever made. And I think when something It's REALLY REALLY serious and important to you, it makes it a little more easier. We got this girls. We can do it!!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +2

      Yes. Go girl - so very important and I am here to support you!

  • @cassandrafischer8662
    @cassandrafischer8662 5 років тому +3

    Yep, heard this in high school my senior year in high school from a 'friend'. She then told me, "I used to think the same thing. You'll change your mind." I haven't changed my mind, and I won't change it. If I don't find a man who will stand alongside me, then it's better to live my life where I respect myself and my values rather than lowering my standards so I won't be 'forever alone.'

  • @eldina8989
    @eldina8989 5 років тому +9

    I've realized from simpler things that temptation really drives you crazy but once you yield you end up wishing you never did so don't yield friends fight hard with God's help

  • @cutema101
    @cutema101 5 років тому +5

    Yes girl! Tune them out because the enemy is speaking through them. You know your values, hold fast to them! Loved this video ❤️

  • @melissaosanitsch1815
    @melissaosanitsch1815 5 років тому +5

    I have heard each of the ones you mentioned (several times) plus two more that stand out to me:
    "You'll never be able to keep a man if you're not giving him what he wants (aka sex)"
    "He's lying to you, there's no way he's pure. And if he is pure when you meet him, he won't be for long, your relationship/marriage is going to be filled with lies. (insinuating he will cheat)" (especially if the man happens to be very attractive in the eyes of several women).
    Thank you for your videos ❤️
    It is so nice to have your support.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +4

      I get this ALL THE TIME too. All the time. People still say it about my husband. It's so rude, and just downright nuts.

  • @cheridanviolet8638
    @cheridanviolet8638 5 років тому +3

    I’ve heard it all! It’s crazy to me how many people in my life were negative about it instead of positive and supportive. The craziest thing someone has said to me was “I think your future husband would rather marry you with experience (in bed) rather than marry you a virgin.” That hurt. That one cut deep. The thing that hurt me most was that the friend of mine who said that to me probably believes that to be true in her own life, and that is sad.

  • @nilasapphire361
    @nilasapphire361 5 років тому +3

    Same I'm 15 and I am saving myself and I do have a boyfriend but we both have the same views I thank God that I have the strength to stay chaste, love you ❤

  • @chesieangela3517
    @chesieangela3517 5 років тому +23

    PREACH IT!!! I love this! It's so hard to do this while living in such a hook up culture. This just reaffirmed me so much. Thank you for always speaking to my heart Emily!

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +2

      I am so glad Chesie :)

  • @markjay7714
    @markjay7714 5 років тому +3

    So there are still a lot of you guys out there! That's so comforting to know. Keep it up ladies

  • @peytonlane2295
    @peytonlane2295 5 років тому +2

    One time my friend and I were talking about how I needed a boyfriend. I was being very self-deprecating and talking about how I’m never gonna find a man to love me blah blah blah same old same old, but then plain as day out of her mouth, as if this was supposed to make me feel better comes, “guys don’t care what you look like as long as you give it to them.” *tire screeches* hold up , so you’re tell me that I have to fully disregard and disrespect my morals, my choices and myself just to get a guy to like me. At this point it’s so hard telling people that I have made the decision to remain chaste until I’m married because all I get is chastised, most of the time from my own family.

  • @meiq7021
    @meiq7021 5 років тому +3

    I've heard ALL of these! Including
    "How do you grow in intimacy?"
    "It's (sex) how you show them that they're special and that you love them."
    "What's the difference between your boyfriend and your guy friends then?"
    "If it's (sex) a special gift wouldn't you want to share that gift with people?"
    "We'll see..."
    "You live in a fairytale"
    ETC ETC ETC

  • @cheyenne126
    @cheyenne126 5 років тому +7

    “You better be willing to do a lot of other stuff then”
    and
    “So is everything else but the actual act okay to you then?”
    I get that it’s not common and people will get curious,but whyyy do people think it’s their business to know all of the details?

  • @samhadley1060
    @samhadley1060 5 років тому +4

    i think the thing that was the worst from me was when i did get a boyfriend was constantly being accused of having sex with him. one of my best friends still constantly tells me, "you really need to save yourself and stop having sex," despite the fact that I've told her a million times that we haven't and don't plan on it.

  • @TrissyT
    @TrissyT 5 років тому +15

    Love how you keep it real girl. You are speaking the truth.

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +3

      Thanks Tristina :)

  • @deeplyrooted2263
    @deeplyrooted2263 5 років тому +6

    Some one told me, “I give you until 22.” I’m like wow!

  • @lunadiaz8132
    @lunadiaz8132 5 років тому +2

    I chose to live in chastity and the girls who heard it said that it was cute/awesome! It's not impossible when you have a boyfriend, my ex didn't want to wait and I still managed to stay my ground, he ended up leaving because of it but that just shows he wasn't the right one. I believe in you!

  • @juliasunshine4471
    @juliasunshine4471 5 років тому +3

    I was sitting with a group of girls in college and it came up and their response was “Oh....I can respect that!”

  • @anamariacastro5272
    @anamariacastro5272 5 років тому +3

    Awesome message, Emily!! Thx a loooot. Girls, I hope this works as an inspiration: I'm almost 30, my boyfriend and I are both virgins, have been 5 years together, and are going to marry in December!! Girlsss!!! IT IS POSSIBLE!!! Whenever there was a temptation going our way, we just reminded ourselves why we decided on waiting. It's very crucial to be on the same page with your partner, because that way you'll support each other whenever you need it! God bless y'all.

  • @Ariel_dorsey
    @Ariel_dorsey 5 років тому +4

    It’s amazing how sure people are about commenting on other people’s deeply personal life choices. I’ve stopped sharing about things like chastity with friends because of statements like the ones you mentioned at the beginning of the video.

  • @polinka_raspberry_7300
    @polinka_raspberry_7300 5 років тому +5

    100% agree!!! I'm 24, saving sex for marriage, and I don't even ask other people what's their opinion on that, it's my choice based on the word of God and I'm sincerely not interested to know or accept what people who didn't make same choice think about me or my decision. I'm not trying to be rude haha just the reality. I would also encourage girls to pray for your future spouse. 💘💘💘

  • @alyssaimperiale9238
    @alyssaimperiale9238 5 років тому +1

    Yasss girl. So true, people act like it’s not possible to stay pure. It might be difficult, but it’s definitely not impossible to stay pure!

  • @stephanierayburn3771
    @stephanierayburn3771 5 років тому +2

    OHHHH yeah, I've heard this so many times.. So annoying and sometimes disheartening. Especially since I turned 21, people saying "wow, you're 21 and a virgin? Why?" I just tell them my point of view and how I want to honor God and that I can't even imagine doing things with someone other than the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, they don't really say much. I've had some say "good luck finding a man out there like that." I've had a guy say to me "I want someone who wants an "ACTUAL ADULT RELATIONSHIP"" 🙄🙄 When people find out I've never been in a relationship, they just ask why and I say that I just haven't come across the one for me and then they will ask if I'm a virgin, I openly say yes and tell them why and they say exactly this "Good luck with that. You'll change your mind when you get a boyfriend, it's not that easy." 🙄 Like yes I know it will be difficult. I am an adult and have been faced with difficult situations, not a child. Thank you though 🙃

  • @jazminhorvath6740
    @jazminhorvath6740 5 років тому +11

    "you are being so hypocratic. If you know you will marry your boyfriend why don't you just sleep with him then before marriage too?"
    "But don't you have hormones?"
    The worst ones I got. Thank you for the encouraging helpful video ❤️

    • @aramintawilliams5205
      @aramintawilliams5205 5 років тому +6

      Jazmin Jams you never know if you’ll marry that person until you both say I do. Not understanding why they would say that’s hypocritical.

    • @jazminhorvath6740
      @jazminhorvath6740 5 років тому +2

      @@aramintawilliams5205 I know right? I can never answer that because I don't feel like I'm being hypocritical. Good to know some people share my views 😊

  • @3DeeQueen
    @3DeeQueen 5 років тому +35

    Thank you so much Emily. A positive role model! Bless you

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому

      You are so welcome!

  • @sin3358
    @sin3358 5 років тому +11

    People will say this to you because they think it's old-fashioned. Well, so is forcing people to do what they don't like, and you're forcing your opinion in someone, but you don't care about that, do you?!

  • @mishmasho
    @mishmasho 5 років тому +3

    I struggle whenever I hear “what man is going to wait around for that?” when people find out I’m celibate until marriage. Granted, the people who say that are not from church, but I’m really starting to believe that maybe I’ll never find someone to marry because 1) nobody outside church will respect my beliefs and 2) the guys inside church don’t ask me out. Perhaps it’s just not the right time to meet that Christian guy yet but it does feel hopeless a lot of the time :(

  • @jesusistheonlyway249
    @jesusistheonlyway249 5 років тому +16

    I usually have others either saying I won't find a guy who hasn't had sex because it isn't possible for a guy to stay pure past a certain age (implying there is something wrong with him if he does) or making excuses why they couldn't/didn't save themselves for marriage (most of my friends are married). I find this awkward as it feels like they want me to agree with them, justifying why they didn't save sex for their wedding night. I am not judging them but I am not agreeing with them! Those awkward pauses while they look at me waiting for my response are so high pressure! Any tips on how to deal with this? I don't want to judge others but I cannot tell them they did the right thing. I want to be loving to them but I love God more! I now don't talk about purity except to one friend who saved herself for marriage (and so did her husband) xx

  • @Cocolove205
    @Cocolove205 5 років тому +2

    One of my best friends and my sister both asked if i was saving sex for marriage. I told them yes. They both basically said "oh well good luck when you get a boyfriend." It really frustrated me because I really do wanna save it. Thanks for this video, Emily. they're always so encouraging.

  • @violetmusic4145
    @violetmusic4145 5 років тому +5

    i've actually gotten more positivity personally but it's usually either a neutral/positive response or straight up acting like i'm just pretending to wait in order to shame other women or something. i've been dating my boyfriend since april and it's definitely been harder because even though i've personally been tempted in the past, now we're actually BOTH tempted but it's actually gotten easier throughout our relationship because we feel more comfortable setting boundaries and we're in classes so we have something to talk about when we're together

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +5

      The "shaming other people" by talking about my choice was so frustrating to me. So frustrating. Talking about a hard personal decision I've made does not equal SHAMING the people who have chosen otherwise. Maybe I should make a video on that.

  • @alphaalembe9701
    @alphaalembe9701 5 років тому +2

    I will never change my mind...it's good to know about people like you who encourage us Emily...
    Thanks a lot.

  • @baileyym5251
    @baileyym5251 5 років тому +3

    My old best friend used to say "yeah you have these boundaries but I can tell you right now you won't be able to keep them once you get a boyfriend" and even laughed at some of the boundaries I have for myself. Needless to say we are no longer friends lol

  • @addie-eileenpaige6460
    @addie-eileenpaige6460 5 років тому +1

    I've heard things along these lines told to me. I will NEVER compromise my morals and standards. ❤❤❤❤

    • @addie-eileenpaige6460
      @addie-eileenpaige6460 5 років тому +2

      I had a friend once say that I could possibly meet someone who makes me throw away my list and forget my standards. WRONG!!!!! 🙅🏻

  • @FierceQueen23
    @FierceQueen23 5 років тому +4

    I'm a person who will do/not to things out of spite, so if anyone ever tells me I'll change my mind, they'll get a taste of my stubborn streak.

  • @domi4396
    @domi4396 5 років тому +5

    The other day a "friend" said to me when i told her i was waiting for marriage: no one is going to marry you, wake up we are in 2019

  • @mathieublake1670
    @mathieublake1670 5 років тому +3

    With men it is impossible but with God, all things are possible.

  • @shimmyalot
    @shimmyalot 5 років тому +3

    I've been lucky enough that the guys that I've been with respect my decision and I don't really feel the need to share my decision with anyone else at this point so I thankfully haven't run into any "haters" or whatever you want to call them. It's possible that might change when I get older though.

  • @lindaghezzi9890
    @lindaghezzi9890 5 років тому +2

    I’ve heard people saying "what are you waiting for?" or "how’s that even possible?" Only because I’m 20 and I’m single and still waiting!!! Honestly I’m glad I have waited and I’m not going to give up on my values just because of what people think of me!
    I want to be independent and accomplish the things I want in my life, my life does NOT depend on some guy or his sexual desires, I want to affirm myself as a young woman and if someday a man with my same values comes along, he’s more than welcome but i have no intention of listening to those negative people who want to destroy the things I believe in! I’m sure God has a plan for me, and I’m not meant to have a boyfriend yet...initially I didn’t accept it, but now I know he knows better than me and I have faith the right person will find me.
    You know what my mum always says when people keep pressuring me on finding a boyfriend?? She says I have a lifetime and that I only have to be patient because settling leads to future regret!
    ❤️

  • @aishanna
    @aishanna 5 років тому +1

    Gurrrlllll you inspire me so much. Thank you for your valuable time and wisdom for young girls out there.

  • @jessicadiggins2115
    @jessicadiggins2115 5 років тому +3

    LOVE your honest, upfront, CATHOLIC approach to such tricky topics:) you’re the best!!!

  • @naomimay82
    @naomimay82 5 років тому +2

    I love your videos and sometimes play them for my 17 year old daughter. I hope she chooses to save herself. So far she hasn’t dated anyone. I didn’t save myself for marriage. I was pregnant with my daughter when I married my husband. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse so my virginity and waiting meant nothing to me. It was marriage and my husband that made me realize just how special and amazing sex was. If I could do things over, I would have saved myself for my wedding night.

  • @erinreed8076
    @erinreed8076 5 років тому +1

    I have never been in a relationship and made the decision to live a chaste life, and I have grown to be more and more confident in who I am and what I believe in through prayer and it has been a journey. I had a friend, someone who is still in some parts of my life due to work and school, that while our group of friends(most of whom were in relationships) where hanging out, would just say randomly "Well, we just need to get you a boyfriend and you will see how much better it is," "you don't understand because you don't have a boyfriend," "you'd want to have sex if you had a boyfriend," and countless other things. It was as if her friendship with me was becoming more dependent upon me finding a boyfriend, to the point she created a dating profile for me without my knowledge. She basically got to the point where she said she only wanted to hang out if I got serious with a guy. It was the most freeing thing walking away from that toxic friendship and now I'm living in a more confident way and I pray that she one day sees the value in herself and that her worth is not dependent upon having a man by her side.

  • @TuNomAmi007
    @TuNomAmi007 5 років тому +4

    worst response I got was that I was being stupid as well as selfish towards my future boyfriend... huh????????

  • @hollyhorn9754
    @hollyhorn9754 5 років тому +4

    Omg I needed this video Emily! My boyfriend and ai have been dating for three years and we’re waiting till we get married to have sex! I always have to tell myself, who cares what people think!!

  • @abundanceoffavor1353
    @abundanceoffavor1353 5 років тому +4

    My friends just don't believe me that I'm abstinent; they don't.
    I'm 42. Divorced for 4 years. I have offers everyday everywhere. I daily ask Christ for chastity. I find that He has a thousand and one ways to ensure that I remain chaste according to His will.

  • @AndreaAlonso
    @AndreaAlonso 5 років тому +40

    Wow I’m so early! Lol. Thanks for being such an awesome role model! :)

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +5

      Well HI Andrea!!!!

  • @waldensiansylph4869
    @waldensiansylph4869 5 років тому +3

    I want to only ever know my husband intimately, and he me. I've saved myself for him because I only want him. I only want memories with him. Love with him. Family with him. God help us. I wonder where he is.

  • @ValeriaGalindo
    @ValeriaGalindo 5 років тому +1

    I totally relate to this! I´ve been told : " Oh , you are just so innocent and childish" , but I´ve made a promise to the Lord by keeping my virginity till I´m married and through His help I will stand firm! Thanks so much Emily for the encouragement! it´s so difficult to have girls of my age to relate to. Most of them including some christians are compromising on this area!

  • @lostsentience4556
    @lostsentience4556 4 роки тому +2

    A minute in but all I can think about is my family saying to me “well, you’ll change your mind when you get older” in regards to me saying I never want children. 😒🙄

  • @kackareznickova5431
    @kackareznickova5431 5 років тому +5

    i absolutely knew the blinking sound haha

    • @emwilss
      @emwilss  5 років тому +1

      so glad i'm not the only one

  • @quinoasongs2507
    @quinoasongs2507 5 років тому +2

    For those who've been married before, have any of you heard any specific? But I get the impression that people think that once you've been married before, and you waited then, that it doesn't count the second time. I've come to the conclusion that I would say, it was worth the wait the first time, why wouldn't it be the second time?

  • @xocarolineox5657
    @xocarolineox5657 5 років тому +1

    Oh my gosh! Thank you Emily! The one I’ve heard is, oh you’re too innocent! Bothers me every time but this is what’s gonna help me. Thank you so much💕💕💕💕

  • @faithhopelove560
    @faithhopelove560 5 років тому +26

    I am a Christian and I would love to hear your thoughts on remarriage after divorce. My husband of over 20 years has filed for divorce after recently being in an affair. I do not want the divorce and have encouraged him to let God work through us toward reconciliation. I know there are verses on divorce in the case of adultery, which this is, even though I wasn’t the one who had the affair or who filed. I have no interest in remarrying for a long time, I just wondered your thoughts. Thanks you and please pray for my situation as I continue to pray and stand for my marriage.

    • @tiffanyrodriguez1048
      @tiffanyrodriguez1048 5 років тому +2

      Faith Hope Love Im really sorry you are going through that, I’m praying for you 💛 there’s always the possibility of obtaining an annulment if you wish to look further into it

    • @rebekahs9701
      @rebekahs9701 5 років тому

      I am so sorry.