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It is conflicting... These thoughts. beckoning. A hand, the fingers of a woman, her actions. A woman that reaches straight towards you to care for you... Doesn't fear you but just says " Hey your pasta is falling of your plate, doesn't say just whips the noodle back on your plate"... yea... but don't we all have to question it..
I grew up in a problematic family. My father completely refused to do basically anything for our family so we were relying on my mom all the time. I grew up as "strong independent, go and get it" woman. I was always wondering why awesome men were not coming to me, only leach or taming type of guys. Then I met my husband 7 years ago, who just told me this simple thing: "my love, we are a team, we are in everything together. You don't have to do things on your own anymore". That woke me up, and suddenly I felt relieved that I have a man on my side who will do his job, and I will not have to struggle anymore. I realized it at that moment, how I really struggled till that point, and I considered it "empowerment" meanwhile it was just simply heavy labour unnecessarry struggle. My man is a true treasure. Ladies, listen to Teal, your life will be much more of a high quality!
You're fortunate, my man told me that and he got comfortable and started to sit on Facebook at every chance he got and nothing seemed to be able to get him off. Needless to say I left.
@@ZFern9390 yes, and guys like that are complaining to everybody that all women are...... all they care about is rich or cool guys. And he can't find a decent one. They want a slave, not a woman. You did right that you left! Tipical 'you have to make food, wash, clean etc meanwhile I am doing entirely nothing, nothing what a man suppose to do. BUT if you miss to clean once the house, or you are deciding not to cook, i am going to shame you immediatelly" 😂
@@Bvilloyou can't claim to be “independent, go and get it” type while also expecting men to approach you instead of asking them out yourself The hypocrisy of women...
@@-SimonRiley Hey there, don't be so judgemental, like this I could also say "ohhh the ultimate laziness of men, they would expect us to do everything even in bed, meanwhile they just stay still and enjoy themselves".. Back to your question: Tried that one too, didn't work SUPRISE SUPRISE 😄 thats why I said it is dumb to be "strong and independent etc woman" I know it from experience, you are a living, walking repellent for real men 😄
I’ve said this from day one! Men and women are not better or worse than each other, just different than each other and have different strengths and weaknesses. Some people can play the piano 🎹 and some people can play the guitar 🎸. It’s just the way it is. Cheers!
Word. And the idiocracy of contemporary society really is that "human nature" has come to be regarded as almost some sort of swear word and most certainly is concidered a faux-pas! 🤦🏻♂️🙄
@@tomprice3258 lol, I can play both but the guitar better but I also definetely can play the piano better than playing pretend of being a woman with all its unique and nuanced qualities and features! 😉
As a man, I love serving women. Teal is correct in that men need to have a purpose, and to me, our main purpose in life is to provide for and protect our families. That's why we take risks and go for the big bucks. We want to serve you, ladies. We want you to be our queens, and we want to be good role models for our kids. This is what it means to be a man.
Being passive aggressive was my biggest issue. But my boyfriend was direct and helped me communicate with him better. Its been ten years we are together now.
@@huirant287 Guys like that are never online, their in constant drive for self improvement it may be big or small, but it is for sake of becoming better, my advice for you is to go out more, go to book store's, places that demonstrate intelligence, respect and righteousness and act feminine.
Notes: - To make him feel wanted and needed, give him a role in your life. Open the space to let him do things for you. - Give positive feedback for his IMPORTANCE in your life. The role that he performs, etc. - Don't drop hints/cues - just assert needs.
I told him what I need and he said “is this an obligation?” “Are you trying to change me?” I was like no, I thought you want to know what makes me happy. Anyways, that relationship ended quickly.
Former "independent" lesbian here to say this is everything I needed to hear!!! I grew up with a passive father and overbearing controlling mother, never learning how to be in a healthy relationship. THIS helped so much!!!!!
@@ruckboger she is relaying to us, her struggle with how she took the roles in her parents dynamic and that it created a mixed message for her on what to emulate..it may change for everyone but there wasn't a reason to try and set her up for a verbal attack. You are looking for a fight not really wanting to know about her journey.
@@thegoldengypsy929 What? I'm not looking for a fight. I'm trying to understand if she's saying she is now a lesbian because of her mother or her father.
The bit about feminism I've spoken with my husband about many times. I call it an overcorrection. The modern feminist movement has overcorrected to a point of inequality, inequity, and it no longer serves women at all. It's been really wild to see it play out.
Thank you for being honest about this! My now ex and I broke up over this issue. Many young women do not see that the modern left has become very radical and „overcorrected“ as you say. It’s gotten from a good cause to support to a tyrannical movement. I’m grateful for every person who starts to see and realise this. Men are not your enemy, we want you to strive just as much! Anyone who doesn’t, is a fool
I have a different perspective to share. I genuinely grew up in an environment where there were no men, no male cousins, no uncles. Just my dad, whos not the manliest of men. He also passed away. So in reality, everything a man does to provide for his family, I did myself. And my mom did for me and herself. And this was not a temporary predicament. This was the state of my entire life. So when it comes to these issues, men gave me a free pass. Once I explain why I think men and women are equal, they get quiet and just say well not everyone is in my situation. That's true, but it goes both ways. Women need to survive, and thrive, with or without a man. A woman is more than what a man sees in her.
@@suziebee4240 Well, it is the same for men as well. men need to survive, and thrive, with or without a woman. A man is more than what a woman sees in him. And what you have experienced and said has changed the internal structure of your functional being. So, All good.
I lol'd at this generalization. Think of all the males from around the world, some in huts, some in houses, some in flats, some on houseboats, some in motels lol. Most are narcissists? Wow.
M Styles that’s your experience. i’ve met women who are completely at fault of this. refusing to take responsibility is an emotional response, not logical.
@@mstyles2667 wow... The ignorance spewing from this comment. I'm baffled. No most men are NOT narcissists and you don't speak for all women and the reason their relationships fail. Don't project your experiences on that many people. Are you serious.
Told the guy I dated for years I need attention, and he still did not give it. Ima straightforward girl, yet he couldn't handle it. And was opposite, not forward, the manipulator and liar. Some men are just self-centered and selfish, and that is why im no longer with him. This message only applies to men who actually available and committed to being with you. Do not ever think you will change a man. You will only be hurt the long run. Just end it, and move on. don't waste time.
true, I am a selfish men and my ex always wanted attention from me, I hated it, I just want to see a women 2-3 times a month only for sex, thats my nature. I tried to give her more attention, but I wasn‘t me anymore snd didn‘t enjoy it. I look for a girl who doesn‘t want mich attention and is very self focused as well
Three years later, this is all still true. This video hits something so utterly deep and true about humanity. I'm so glad I found myself on this side of UA-cam.
My husband had to teach me to just say what I didn't like him doing at the time instead of letting it accrue like a debt in my head that would come spewing out during arguments. Once I learned this life got much better for both of us.
Thanks for sharing. I am learning this now in my current relationship. Its hard because i'm not good at expressing/tapping into what i want but i like that he wants to know at the same time :-)
@@jakubrogacz6829 I was raised in a family where people responded violently if I said how I felt so it wasn't natural for me to just say how I felt. After my husband assured me he wouldn't get angry if I was honest with him I started trying to speak up like 'oh I wish you'd wipe the benches after you clean the dishes'. Based on my experiences from my family that would have resulted in people yelling "Do them yourself then!" and throwing dishes at me. So I was actually surprised when he'd just say ok and wipe the benches. I'm grateful for him making me feel safe to use my voice. Its helped me feel brave in other areas of my life too.
I used to be a lot more in my masculine, "I don't need a man energy", in my early 20's. Now in my early 30's, and more confident I'm my body and my femininity, I noticed a huge change im my relationships. Now men, (total strangers), open the door for me and I let them. My now boyfriend loves to physically lift me up, give me gifts and compliments all the time, and im now learning to receive. In a weird way in the past, it was almost as if my self worth was so low, that I didn't think I was worthy of love. It's out love that a man does these things so I allow him. Just like I ask my boyfriend if he's eaten, or give him a back rub for carrying me sometimes 😅. It should be a beautiful give and take, I understand this now.
Yes. Recieve graciously, ladies. Those stupid flowers scattered throughout the house as a trail to the invitation to spend the weekend at a German Inn is as cliché and unimaginative as tooth ache, so you may be thinking. But don't say it out loud. We got much enjoyment out of planning it out and going to the florist. We may be awkward and clumsy at romance, but recieve well and give us our enjoyment as well. Don't deny us our love for doing stupid stuff for you.
Good thing as long as it’s a genuine and a pure interaction problem is these men these days want to be spoiled and do things expecting something in return right away it’s not genuine low effort
It's why I am not interested in dating anymore. Manipulation, passive aggressive signals, demands like a 5year old, having a mood for hours. I don't care for your drama, tell me exactly what and why or find the door. Playing mind games with someone you love is disrespectful. Openness and honesty is what builds connection, trust and respect.
Tell me about it, just had to run from a guy like this 🤭 At some point in life one should know a little (to be kind) of what one wants. And be able to communicate at least that clearly 🤣
as a woman i support this. I love masculine energy. Im just as much traumatized as the man. Ive gotten my bounduries pulled out from under me and then felt forced to do life by myself. I really hope we can fix this. I want masculine energy to match my feminine energy. go all of us. Lets not give up!
"Fine" I think this is just doubling down on feminism. Every other woman on dating apps says: "I'm fine. My life is happy. I just want some one who adds to my happiness." These are the women you see on the app for 5 years. These are the exact women who are creating passive behavior in men. I'd love to pull her man aside and ask was he fine without a woman in his life. He'd probably say: "I was fine with a headache." Her man is going to be in serious trouble down the line... She will love him and leave him when she is 75. I don't need him for "anything" anymore. He'll be 80 with dementia living in a dusty room all alone. Trust!
@@TrillEverything Geesh, it sounds like you’ve got some baggage to work through. The author was saying that each was a healthy, complete person in their own right, so when they came together, they clicked in a healthy way. Oh, BTW, complaining about feminism is a red flag in a man. A green flag is a man who says that he likes and supports women.
Independence is a myth! Owning a car, for example, gives people a sense of independence but depends on the entire history of the evolution of technology and economics in order for it to be a possibility. A 'self made' independent business owner is entirely dependent on their customers and the stability of the society around them. Nobody is independent unless they built their own house with materials they gathered themselves using tools they made and designed themselves while eating food they produced themselves using recipes of their own making... etc etc etc. Humans cannot exist independently... at least not for more than a few hours and even then... someone brought them into the world! People who passionately claim independence are either blind to or ignorant of how much other people have contributed to their lives.
@@AtlanticSiren There's nothing wrong with being strong and capable, or even aloof and dismissive of others... not if it is genuine and appropriate to the individual relationships that we experience. It's just that these things shouldn't be seen as aspirational achievements and especially not the standard to which we all must conform... People are so much more than that. We think of the constraints that society puts upon us as being self-inflicted... because we identify as 'society', 'humanity' or 'culture'! This leads us to believe that we can 'fix' these things as individuals... but if we try we are likely to discover that we can't! At least not immediately. The conditioning that we have all experienced is incredibly effective, largely because of our sociable nature... Compliance with what is familiar to us comes easy while change can be a struggle... but I think that once a person understands the myth and how absurd it is for people to perpetuate it, they can begin to shift their inner focus, away from projecting an image of themselves for the benefit of other people, more towards awareness of their actual experience of other people. It encompasses 'letting people in' and learning to be vulnerable as well as experiencing compassion. The paradox of trying to be more connected to our humanity within this culture is that we will often end up looking more independent as we step out of the mold and become more complex individuals!!!! I hope that makes some kind of sense... I just read it back and I'm confusing myself! I'll leave you with this: “Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque” ~ U G Krishnamurti
I'm sorry but as a woman, I cringe so much when I hear, ''I'm an independant woman'' or ''I can do anything that men can do''. For me it just shows the degree of your insecurities. If you feel the need to claim that, than it means deep down you don't feel like that. Imagine that : ''I'm an independant man!'' ''I can do everything that women can do!'' This is cringe right? Edit: Of course you can! You can do whatever the heck you want with your life. But men need women the same way women need men, for emotional support, I'm not talking about money! Edit: I'm not saying women shouldn't or can't be independant (financially or whatever), I'm saying why the heck do you feel the need to tell everyone, as if your ego depends on it. Yes, women need to be financially independant. There are no reasons why women should have less money because of biology.
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653stay in your lane woman! Sorry I’ve gotta go back to my job as a heavy line electrician, where I’ve never met a woman in my field! We need the cookie bakers and bed sheet folders! Be proud of the calling God granted you…hopefully…. Don’t burn em! 🍪 😜
“I want to be connected to you. I need to be connected just as much as you do. In order to feel that way I need to fill a role in your life. A role that holds purpose so that I can clearly tell that you need me and thus want me here in your life.” 😭 my single ass got emotional at that part
She's equating needs and wants thereby turning men into desirable mules. The day women want men simply for who they are will be the day real advancement comes. The exchanging of the needs of the woman for the wants of the man is basically whoredom with a white picket fence around it. Anymore, intimacy is the only thing the two sexes need from each other but eons of the wants/needs exchange program have left us nearly incapable of adapting to this new paradigm. Sorry, you did not deserve to have all that dumped on you, it's just the way I see it (which is probably way off. Oh well.) Cheers
@@jjcool4184 i know on the surface this is cruel. Men started thinking this way when most women over 30 standards seem to sky rocket while their looks decline. They are way more damaged from the bad boys they dated in their youth. So they are now so bitter. Men knowing what they now know dont want to deal with that when they are getting finacially set. Truth is younger women are a bit more easy going without the baggage. While many men say they do this because they just want young fertile women. I do not see it that way I see plenty of women actractive over 30. I would think they would match better maturity wise. Yet, too many times I see they are damaged beyond repair and have so many standards while I am expected to have none.
@@BrooklynBaby100 Modern day feminism. The MGTOW movement is there to protect men that's why. Too many cases of false accusations of rape, domestic violence, etc.
Night King > This is a different century from the 50s woman are more Independent and beautiful men see more of a variety of women, but It's their lost if they lose a good woman!
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
This is why I believe a third way - humanism - is needed. People have needs that need to be filled. We need roles, but we also need flexibility - life doesn't stay the same, but if all options are valid, none are. We need to be able to be who we are and love who we will. We need safety amd security. We need a common language. We can't achieve this with gender-supremacist ideologies like redpill or fourth-wave feminism.
Finally someone who makes sense on here and preaches exactly what I've been saying for years, that we need eachother and realise that both sides have their strengths and weaknesses
As women, we need men and this awesome video reminds us how to communicate this clearly to men. We have all been mislead with ideals of being independent. It’s time to remember we are interdependent and the world is a beautiful place when man and woman work together in harmony to create balance.
@@maryamdiao1509 That’s because we have been conditioned to see the other as a threat. The work to reverse that has to begin somewhere, by believing it’s possible and it’s necessary.
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 Men do see women as a threat now thanks to the 60-70% divorce rate and 80% of divorces being filed by women. The "metoo" movement. Now Millions of men are now homeless, childless, in poverty, suicidal risks, thanks to no fault divorce. I have watched videos of women who are now getting a taste of this equality and having to pay alimony, child support etc. and they suddenly want the laws changed. Go figure.
The whole 'I don't need a man/ I'm independent' comment really hit home for me, especially in the types of men this attitude attracts. It would be helpful to have a video recommendation to watch, to help step out of this mindset for women like myself who have been forced to 'do it all' due to a lack of positive male role models her whole life. I've never had any sort of relationship with a male who hasn't been toxic, controlling, abusive or weak and it has resulted in having an 'I don't need a male' attitude. No idea how to step out of it now.
This video has since come out ua-cam.com/video/BwUrfi1Lh_M/v-deo.html Btw, I used to be where you are.. I started dating a guy I normally wouldn't go for, a guy from a more conservative culture, and he changed my life for the better. I was probably a bit of a detriment to him at first, but I came around and I'm incredibly grateful now.
Well you actually DON'T need a man to live a good life. Being proud of your ability to sustain yourself is not a deterrent to romance. You would be a great catch since you have life experience. Connection doesn't care if you are self supporting or not. If it's there, you have a chance. 😁
I love men being men, instinctively true and strong with their partner.. Men need to be needed, validated and accepted for who they are... Kindness and respect for each other's differences and realize we are perfect as we are...
I don't date, been about 7 years. My husband passed 14 years ago. I tried to date. Men I felt were to good for me, my life was a MESS after husband died. I couldn't in good conscience even date. Some were on drugs! I TRIED TO FIX THEM. 🙄 I want to be in a relationship but can't. I'm 60 in pretty good shape. The men my age are heading to nursing home looking for a care giver! 🙄 I'm a natural care giver so it's been VERY hard to say, I'm sorry I can't. That is mind numbing work...I'm TIRED, damn it. I just do hobbies and I'm good! People are lucky who find mates... appreciate what you got. Even if he's like having another child, as long as he is being responsible!
@@dellashibu6376 nothing is for sure. Not all men all go getters. Not all woman are go getters. Hopefully someone is a go getter in the family. People rather be on drugs then stand up to the plate... everyone is SO MISERABLE THEY HAVE TO SELF-MEDICATE. OR SO UPTIGHT THEY NEED TO MEDICATE! 🤷 Hey when you find out let me know. 😁 I always say. Happy happy happy! I'm grateful, I'm blessed and I'm going to do what's necessary for my family!
@@marijagrujicic1370 ya I feel that's due to the cost of conversation has been reduced so much by internet and easy transportation. It's like when we have the chance to communicate anytime with anyone we stop investing in practicing conversing and just change the interlocutor every time the conversations not going well
Men also need passion, direction, life values & an understanding of themselves. We live in the information age where the constant bombardment of BS 'information' , distorted imagery of life and what life really is confuses men. They no longer really know what they represent. Very few people self analyse and therefore don't really know their 'true' selves...
yes but you don't need a woman to have that. you can find that out for yourself. and when you have a woman, you can tell her how you want her to support you in the existing passion, direction, etc. that you already have.
@@jedilady4485 Totally agree. There are many things I don't understand about society. One thing that particularly springs to mind when thinking about this topic is the whole 'pickup' and 'dating' scene. This comes as a result of looking outwardly, thinking a relationship provides solutions & makes us 'complete'. In actual fact I've come to discover that having a deep relationship with ourselves brings both a strength and vulnerability. It is through this that we understand our true selves and our true nature. It through this that we can all, both men and women, can give ourselves truly...
@CV B you have to remember men have this one big weakness. Never to be seen as weak. I am supposed to be strong in always and in all forms. Mentally, physically, and even spiritally. We hear this from men(fathers growing up) and women. Especially later in life. So showing weakness like asking for help is hard for us to admit and even do. The men like myself who do seek to heal things broken in ourselves can only do this in two ways. One is if the go MIA and do it in solitude. Tell no one because in truth we won't get real support. Only negative. What they get is pressure and constant questioning like how is it going? You over that yet? You got your crap together now? Similar like you women who are single and being peppered on who you dating or when you getting married? Why are you single? Whats wrong with you? This is the same feeling for a man trying to find himself or heal. So men usually act like nothings wrong with him and shows a strong face. The second way is for him to do self healing by being pushed into a corner, by usually a spouse and family. Not in attacking his manhood now. That will never work. He would have to admit something is wrong. Much like a intervention. These only work if a relationship is about to end or losing the family is eminent. Not threats mind you.Those ghost shows illustrate this perfectly. The family is in danger (from the ghost or demon) or he could lose them. That forces him to feel powerless and want do all he can to fix the situation. I would suggest when trying to get a man to change you would have to speak in this way maybe. "Honey I dont feel safe. We both have things broken in us. I scared I will lose you and then I will lose us. I can't bear that. We both have to heal and be better. If I can't for you or you can't for me we should seperate. I love you so much." Any other blameful way you tell him to get help won't work. You have to remember all men get that constant message of be a man. Be strong yet open up and show your feelings. We can't easily change easily from one to another usually. Ok this went way longer then I wanted. I hope you understand some what I mean.
@S I second CVB, Dr. Peterson is a phenomenal speaker for the adult-manager-main fragment of men that need to develop confidence, survive, and hopefully thrive, but he speaks little to the things men often don't realize they need: the space to know you as men, as a part of humanity, and as a necessity to life you need time to know that you are not just appreciated for what you do, but for who you simply are. You need to heal like women nee to heal emotionally, you don't have to rush success, take action of course, but when the doors open for you to flow into the next stages. Take time to truly develop your self, for you, and also don't be afraid of unconditional love, commitments, and the rotation of needs that may come forward from within you. Communication is key, and not assuming that a handful of comments are the only ones in the world. There are humanistic people on all sides of the spectrum who want to see you thrive and want to let you know their frustrations too: the human experience is anecdotal and that's important as it is practical.
@SWhat is overlooked in our society is mental strength. The depiction of strength in society, in films, is inaccurate. It is in fact through vulnerability, set backs and challenges in our lives that our true strength, our true courage can be unlocked. This is true for both men and women. A strong man is in touch with his vulnerability. It is then that we discover who we truly are and what we are truly capable of. In society have a habit of internalising challenges and setbacks and seeing them as negative. As a pain. In actual fact these are opportunities for us to discover more about ourselves and our capacity as an individual and species..
As a man I have no idea what women want !!! Just tell us !! We will do everything we can to help and support you !! As we love you !! Help us to help you !!
I am currently being abused in this way. I'm told .. just tell me what you want So I do .. then it's ignored. On purpose. Actually helping me was Never on his mind. Start asking better questions instead of placing the blame on the woman in your life please. The effort proves you are truly committed to your partner.
I also watch Adrienne Everhart who is an insightful relationship expert and has exceptionally illuminating and useful things to teach for optimal attraction between the sexes. Usually from the female viewpoint, but highly beneficial to all sexes.
wow, you just made it click to me that I also did not grow up with any male role models in my life either! And I was wondering why I couldn't figure them out, other than sexually lol. It makes more sense now thank you 😭❤
Being straight forward in this relationship I'm in, and communicating through everything has been so life changing. I've never had such a healthy and close bond with a man, and he appreciates how clear I am in what I need ♡
As a man all I can say is....wow...a lot of this answers some questions about traits I have...I love the informative structure you used to approach this, thank you.
@BladeRnR10 Actually, there is nothing more sickening than a Distorted Masculine ( or Distorted Feminine for that matter) with an unchecked shadow who enjoys trolling and contributing to the current divisions in our society.
@@NCardude the destruction of intimacy is effective, i am male but have experienced many female past lives. One past live was bith genders, we are one until we are divided. The slave master is equally enslaved.
I enjoyed learning about this. As a woman and single Mother we have played the masculine role more than often and I truly believe that learning about a man in his true masculine is important as he learns how a woman is in her true femininity. Always become vulnerable n authentic with what you want n need with your partner. Thank you for this message!🙏🏽
If he’s the right man it should be natural flowing. You don’t have to try so hard to be someone you’re not. Some women are not naturally feminine, some women aren’t. Some men are naturally feminine, some men aren’t. You must understand yourself to understand what you want and need in a man.
The last part of being straight forward is so true. My man always tells me to talk it out coz he ain’t giving up on us. We have to sort it out and tell what’s wrong. He always tells me that he doesn’t wanna know who spoke to me and what jokes I craked at work but instead he wants to know if something went wrong with me during the whole day, if I had any breakdowns or if I ever felt overwhelmed. That’s what he asks me to do and be straightforward about if he is not giving us enough time or if I wanna talk to him, he says that tell me that you wanna talk and it’s his responsibility and his headache to make time. He says that he wants to know if me as his future wife has any issues. He’s happy to fix the issues in him and he does try too.
100% right. Keep spreading this message for the sake of love, marriage, and to help men fulfill their potential and restore the motivation we're born with. We need peace in the home, respect, and to feel valued
I spent a couple of decades giving ‘space’ which was ultimately incompatibility. Hard lesson. It’s easy to ignore when you meet really young thinking there’s room to grow. Sadly, growth doesn’t always happen especially when requests, working out of agreements, directly asking etc are perceived as criticism. Sometimes dudes are not interested in relating.
@@saltytroter6966 I don't think you can blame that on women. There are other factors in our society that affects the consciousness of people. Outside influences like Television and controlled movements. I highly recommend the doc. Century of the Self.
Hi, man here. Literally every word spoken in this video is completely on point. So much so, that I actually had to sit there and remind myself that despite all of this being so obvious to men, women probably do need to hear this, because they have entirely different experiences. Just like as a man, the "what every man needs to know about a woman" video did give me insight I wasn't aware of (but after hearing it immediately became obvious), this video will hopefully open someone's eyes to how to have better interactions with women.
Can you explain what you mean by that? Like, what perspective did you have/how did you feel prior to this video, and how do you feel about it now/how did your perspective shift? (I'm trying to understand this from different perspectives~)
@@apollofateh324 hmm I'll try. Bear in mind, my English is pretty bad. To understand the reason why this video was such a relief, i must tell you that it wasn't from a change of perspective as what are male's roles in society , it was from learning that some women do acknowledge the mistakes that they made on the male species especially by the feminists. The good thing from that movement is we get to listen what caused their pain so we could learn not to do it BUT, that movement was so loud in forcing changes, it crossed the boundaries of how males are naturally, generally wired. It wanted male to behave like females and abandoned what males needed in order to function healthily. We don't manifest physically the same because psychologically we have different structures and fibres. Since the main core of our soul is to fulfill the role of protecting women, I was walking on eggshells to not be in my whole masculinity form just because i didn't want to cause pain on women, especially women that matter to me. So it was a disastrous phase, having to betray myself when deep down I clearly knew, what should be done but i suppressed it because many women said it was toxic. So when a woman, in this case Ms Swan, addressed and acknowledged the differences between these two genders, i felt relieved because finally i could stop listening to many ridiculous loud females and focus on the truth.
@@adnaine536 well said 🙂 Extreme feminism takes things too far and what they're trying to achieve is pointless, to say the least. It's so wonderful to see the kindness of man when he holds the door for a woman and nice gestures like those. All women love it, including feminists (despite what they say). When men have these nice gestures, it doesn't mean that they are seeing a woman as fragile or dependent. It's just a nice thing to do for each others. Simple!! Us women need to stop being dramatic with these things. Life is complicated as it is, why complicate more? I'm very happy that you don't feel the need to conceal anymore of what you think is best. Wish you well sir ☺️
I need my man and I'm not afraid to admit. We need each other. There's things that I can't do that he can, and things that I can do that he can't. Thanks Teal for the info, I can be a better partner! ❤️
Manna to my ears. I am a defender of the male, have always been. I love men! I love their conversation, presence, differences from us and from each other. I love Teal's bright mind and all she says here. We women need to reclaim our lost wisdom. My mother was weak but my grandmother was strong, I learned much from both.
An excellent video! Men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. Yes, it really is that simple! Men indeed are not mind readers, and this man personally greatly appreaciates a woman that can communicate her wants and needs directly. Thank you.
Men want to be wanted too. If they merely need us like an addict needs his next fix, then it doesn’t really matter if they want us. They could hate us, and still need us. For example if you don’t know how to self-validate and constantly rely on your man to remind you that you are worthy and lovable, then your self esteem is dependent on the man’s presence in your life. He could be a cheater and abuser but none of that matters, you need him. You literally don’t have the power to walk away.
This is soooo accurate. All my hurt involving men and father figure has led me to the man-hating mentality, which is just the other extreme of the codependent relation with male figures. Such a huge shadow. Damn.
I'm interested to understand how being man-hating... Converted into you entering a codependent relationship. On the surface, that doesn't make sense. But I feel a truth to it... But I can't quite grasp it. If you see this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could expand on this a bit. Thanks.
@@breakingthemasks it’s the opposite, the codependent relationships led me to the men hating mentality ;) which is not healing at all, is just the other extremity
@@saraand8787 Same. My dad didn't have a good father figure and thus did the basics of what you'd expect a father to be. And when i wanted more attention from him that I felt I lacked, and even pursued a couple of times, it always seemed like he couldn't deal with me or that he was too busy. It led me to think the codependency i see with my mom, who sometimes gets frustrated with this, as something to avoid when looking for men. It made me crave male attention more, looking for passive types that would make me feel loved and looked after. And the rest of that you can probably understand after watching this video.
YES!!! I grew up with all brothers, so I guess I missed out on "nice girl training" and am as straightforward as possible, without sounding like a jerk. My husband loves it. I am actively teaching my boys and girls to be more direct with their wants and needs.
Me too! My mom was also very blunt and honest. I was taught to be loving but to always say what needed to be said and to do so without a lot of vague talk. I have sons, as well as my husband, and I have to be absolutely clear about everything with them. They think and hear and process very differently than me and even with the directness we miss each other and misunderstand. lol
Responsibility gives us meaning. To care for you, to fix everything that breaks, to open the door for you, to open my heart to you means I love you. It also means you completely have the keys to my castle, you can and have completely destroyed me. I have rebuilt myself over and over. In spite of this I still love you.
i would love to be in a society where we can say anything what we really feel (in a decent way) and be vulnerable! it is actually much easier, there is more freedom and clarity that way.
We can start a world like that by being honest in all possible situations! We can show other people how awesome life is when you speak from you heart. I do my best to always speak the truth even when it isn't recieved well. I like to think that the medicine has a delayed reaction. Maybe the people I interact with will think about how healthy and happy I looked when I spoke my truth. I am trying to learn how to not be too blunt though, because some people make me angry without trying, so I should confirm with them what their intentions are before I release my anger. I wonder what the proper and healthy way to express anger would look like?
@@georgestobbart4894 Then that woman is not meant for you! On the other hand there is always a nicer/chill way to express yourself. The one who understands what you are is the woman for you.
Would be nice. However modern women have grown an unfair vindication against men. I've seen countless stories of false accusations against men ruining their lives by women. Even saw a news story of a 19 year old guy being arrested for merely, accidentally brushing up against a 17 year old girl. It's hard to trust women these days. I'm just thankful I found one who isn't mentally warped in misandry.
Also, Kasia Urbaniak calls it "good girl conditioning". That "I don't need anything," attitude that is really a fear to ask for what you truly want and need.
urgh. i agree being able to ask for help is important at times but pretending to be dependent or being completely dependent on men is also wrong. MEN NEVER DO THAT and that pride and confidence along with dependence from women gives them power.
@@dellashibu6376 Men do that all the time. Many men are searching for Mommy. Someone to be their brain for them so they don't have to make decisions or take responsibility. This is a problem with many men that I have met. Try being a woman for a year and you'll see it much more clearly. Men are not immune to co-dependancy.
@@ViolaVoltairine all the time really? clearly u have a type u are chasing or attracting. but i have to admit, some men can be codependent. But still most men including some of codependent ones have no shortage in reasonless pride/confidence or arrogance/toxic masculinity. Exhibit A: Married man depending on wife for all his needs and wants. wife does chores, works, care for kids, Still he probably thinks he runs the home. Meanwhile the lady is trained and told to think she is weaker and incapable of survival without this man who brings nothing to the table in terms of relationship. *The point i was trying to make in earlier comment seems to skip ur biased brain so ill repeat it ->Men in general, never pretend to be lesser than human or women, to find a female spouse Yet this video advices women to do so in some way or the other. They dont hold back at office either. And All the men in the comment section is happy about it and even women too. Its not about whether there are men capable of it or not, they arent TOLD or EXPECTED to do so to find a partner. So, peabrain, as a women, my question to the world is, why are women expected or told to do so?* Why is this video trying to condition women to behave a certain way that has only the merit of making men/man happy while it chips away at a woman's core. Change is hard and slow. But it doesnt mean it should be stopped. When all woman rise to their full potential(in career&personal) in their own terms. Uphold their own standards while choosing partners, Men WILL Follow suit by appreciating it, normalizing it, accepting it and maybe even expecting it. They will adapt to the new normal (househusbands/sharing resposibities of home,child care equally/not expecting female spouse to give up career as a norm after marriage/ proper discussions between spouses to give weight to both individuals needs and wants/ more voice for women at home in financial planning ) and they should. This is how progress is made. NOT by Holding on to outdated shitty thoughts, propogating them, validating them online with help of old timers and men afraid of change. Go gender equality!!!!! Dont hold back ladies show him ur full selves. Confident, Happy, Capable. And tell him "I got it" when u dont need help and if he isnt intimidated/upset -> go for it.😊. Stay away from men looking for easily manipulatable weak women/girls. Stay away from men looking for masculinity validation from women. Stay away from Insecure and overconfident men. Run away from men who expects you to be less than what you are capable of to make them happy cuz if roles were reversed they wouldnt even dream of making the same sacrificea for u.
I’m a man, and you put it so … correct. I feel like a nag, cause my frequent complaint is “you will easily tell me where I’m going wrong or come short, but you never compliment me”. And the passive aggressive leaves me going “what did I do?????!”. Now I’m off to watch ‘The Divine Masculine’. Love your work! 🙏
THIS IS PURE GOLD!! 🥳💙💐 I am not equal to a man, and I love our complementary differences ❤ I am a new-age woman with traditional values. I CAN do just about anything I put my mind to, but I don't want to bc I love feeling at home in my confidence of being a soft feminine woman when it comes to things like taking out the trash, working on the car, or mowing the lawn - when my man takes care of things that need to be done, I feel valued by him, and so I enjoy returning that with a good meal, clean clothes, and a home that looks n smells amazing. Yes, sometimes he helps in the house, and I sometimes help in the yard. It feels great to do things together, knowing we have each other's backs. When I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. We complement each other well when God is the centered balance ❤
PERFECT comment and thank you. ..... This whole discussion is diabolical. I love the assumption "prior to 1960 ..." was nothing but a vapid wasteland for women. Read up on how feminism started. If your honest in your research, it was meant to destroy marriage and family. Exhibit A: Women who take care of their family from home with children have been utterly lampooned and devalued. God created us different and a compliment to one another. Women were definitely NOT created for domestic servitude. Yet they will play that game repeating it over and over...... Women are important. Being a boss girl in HR is not important.
Humbling. It really hurts my heart the way women boss their men around and/ or trash talk them. I am also so sick and tired how women are using manipulation. And yes, I would like to make room for a man in my life. This is healthy advice. There will be some reactions to this message, I am sure.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves. This is complete nonsense.
There’s such great stuff here. I personally really enjoy when I feel roles are balanced. However, I need to point out something that is (unintentional) victim blaming. After being in an abusive relationship myself, which I never dreamed of experiencing, I have to say that being “too independent“ or anything like that is not what draws an abusively controlling man to you. It is actually your light, and what is overlooked most of the time is that agreeability and empathy are actually what are present in survivors and it is exactly those things that are manipulated by the abuser to get you close. In my relationship I was very good at that point at expressing my needs clearly. I did it all the time! As well as asked clearly for what he needed and what his boundaries were. This did nothing to prevent the abuse, because my partner could see how strong I was in knowing myself, and he felt threatened by that because he did not have the same ability. He very often criticized my “voice” and indeed tried to silence it with dangerously violent behavior and extreme gaslighting (he had also gotten out of jail twice). It was not my unbridled horse energy that drew him to me. It was my kindness and my willingness to try to work through things. It is most important to know that the survivor of abuse has ZERO responsibility for the bad behavior and did not do anything to create it. Also as an aside almost all the men in my life romantically and otherwise have been beautiful, compassionate, creative people who respect women’s wisdom. And my abuser appeared to be one of these people at first as well.
I used to think exactly the same as you, having experienced extreme narcissism. But years down the road I’ve learnt this - it’s a necessary (big) part of the healing journey to try to work out WHY they were like that, come to the conclusion it’s not your fault it’s their bad behaviour (correct) and then in a way to feel safe and prevent it happening again we have to give it meaning so our brains can make sense of insanity (it’s because he wanted to steal your light, because he is an empty void inside). Also true in my experience. However there is a missing bit of the puzzle (& I say this with love as I don’t want you to go through this again) - nearly all people who end up at the hands of an abuser fit a ‘profile’ - kind, people pleasing (agreeable) and generally the ‘good girl’ type. Now I know this shouldn’t be a bad thing, but when your desire to please is stronger than your desire to keep yourself safe (aka by leaving immediately) it isn’t working in your best interests. And that is called co- dependency. Having been a very ‘good girl’ myself I was sick of being manipulated and used and determined to find out the cause. I thought it was from being an empath (& they needed my high vibe energy) then realised I was codependent. Learnt everything about it, still couldn’t fix it. Then I learnt about the four different styles of relating to people (everyone has one) called attachment theory’s (secure, anxious, avoidant or disorganised) and mind blown! I highly recommend learning about this, in order to understand not only yourself better, but others too. It’s literally life changing, especially for those of us bought up to be ‘needless and wantless’ (aka ‘nice’). Trying to ‘earn’ love is exhausting, I really recommend looking into complex ptsd as well, as anyone who has survived trauma and abuse will probably be affected. (Here’s a hint, your startle reflex when scared will be spectacular!) I’m sending this with no judgement at all, I totally hear & feel) you, having been there myself, these are just some things I’ve learnt that have helped me on my journey to healing, and I offer them to you in the hope it may help you make sense of it all too. 💜🕊 x
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves. This is complete nonsense.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves. This is complete nonsense.
this video and many others by Teal revives my hope for being a man in a relationship and being able to take care of women. Although is a long process, I am gradually getting into the grips of re-learning to take care of women while I am searching for one. The huge number of females that write positively in this video is so heart-warming.
It's great that you try to change and improve your life into sth. good. A lot of people are ignorant and esp. a lot of men or "male/career-women" . It's a miracle to see or talk with someone, esp. with a man who doesn't try to escape from his inner problems by blaming others (staying psychologically in a child role) but who takes responsibility for his life and solves his problems.
realizing i’ve been taught to do all the wrong things is a little horrifying in this current moment! thanks for opening my eyes to what i’ve been doing
I started this expecting to hate it but, damn This was really well and thoughtfully put together. You're an intelligent and astute woman and I really appreciate your take on this concept.
Totally agree! Thanks to Neo-feminist agenda in Scandinavian countries, women became so unattractive despite their attractive looks. Once I blew my Swedish date just because I was being gentleman by opening the door and paying for the dinner and she felt insulted by my goodwill. Her simple response was, I can do things myself... It was so common that I gave up dating Scandinavians all together. I’m a pro feminism with it’s original intentions but against Neo-feminism.
And yet.....1 out of 4 women get killed or abused by her husband. Feminism is not about hating men or wanting to be like men (hell no!have you heard the locker room talk?) but about having equal respect, opportunities, and appreciation than our male counterparts. Is like making a video about Christianity and assume all Christians love thy neighbor as themselves. Just not reality.
@@katryntjiexx Yes this! This is what many people don't get, from my experience. Feminism also focuses on the patriarchy, which is mostly a system that has put us in these roles and has distorted our views about gender and sex.
Joey Bekker you are right, the real feminism stands for equality between genders. Neo-feminism stands for elimination of men in society, creating division between genders with hatred
Wow 🤩 This is what information is missing hugely right now. I hope anyone who hears it will share it, because human connection is becoming endangered. It’s mostly from jumping to incorrect conclusions or passing judgment without understanding. I’m back in school for my BA in psychology, and you are officially my main person who I admire and respect and want to help like you are.❤ Thank you for being here!!!
Like any ideology, conservatism is misinformation. Gender roles have always benefited women and came at the expense of men's energy and health. There is no point in providing for a woman when she not only can work, but has affirmative action and makes up 60% of college graduates.
Truthfully, as a 40 year old woman, Im done searching and asking a man to be a man. You can be open, honest, helpful and passionate, and never find a man that can appreciate. So many have become beta. If loneliness kills, Im looking forward to that. My grandmother was right, they really aren't worth the trouble. But great vid as always, Teal!
Could it be that limiting belief (most men are not worth the trouble) has you subtly undermining you without you even noticing? No shade....just a thought.
@@LevityBrevity there could be some truth to your comment, but some women really have tried everything. I've dated fat, skinny, good looking, average, outgoing, reclusive, intelligent, dull, jovial and serious - doesn't matter. All end up in the same heap. I'm good now. No more worries, no more bells to answer or eggs to fry...
I think Teal is right about guys who do the pump and dump or nut and bolt (basically PUAs). They're traumatized in a way that they need to be in a dominant role. These guys derive their self-worth from the number of women they have sex with. Not healthy for a guy really.
@Ahmed B I have been thinking about this for the last few days. I hear that men want a high sex count beacuse they believe that women think that is attractive, which it isn't. It just depends on that person. I have yet to hear from men or women that said their current partner told them how many people they slept with was hot. Most people men and women will judge their partner negatively if they have a high count, this is from hear from friends, though.
@@medviation men usually do the bag and drag because they've come to the conclusion that ultimately, relationships will end the same way and is not worth giving it a go. Just look at how hard they fall when a woman eventually gets through to them.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves. This is complete nonsense.
I was raised to be independent and strong, among other things. Now I'm 37 and trying to figure out my feminity. I met the man of my dreams three years ago, and almost ruined it because I didn't understand the very concepts Teal is breaking down. I'm having to, and want to, NEED TO, learn...not to mention how I recognize my ways in my daughter...I love content like this, it is life changing. Thank you to everyone involved.
I hate that being straightforward (especially when it comes to voicing your wants and needs) can be seen as needy or rude or "you talk too much" or anything - even for some men, lets be real - but i try to be. Being passive agressive or indirect is just tiring, and the more they dont respond to it (either bc they dont notice it or bc they choose to pretend they arent aware), more trapping it feels. It creates resentment. I try to practice this and not assuming things, just asking whenever there's space for it. Also i feel like we need to address that is not like women woke up one day and decided to take the world on their shoulders. Sadly the masculine energy has been distorted for centuries, and a lot of it was done by men themselves. I hope that we reach to a point of full balance soon, but i feel like this whole wave of women wanting to do and be everything and detaching from men etc was/is necessary to make this happen. We need to feel that men deserve a space in our lives, not that they are owed one and are in charge of it just because they are men. Also that whatever role they're gonna feel, they're gonna do it with respect of our boundaries and feelings and wants and needs, which sadly doesnt happen in many times.
Masculine energy has been distorted for centuries? What got distorted and why did you pick it happening several hundred years ago?If you are attracting men like the ones you are describing there is a common denominator there on one side of the equation. Ask yourself why you are attracted to those kinds of men or are responding to those kinds of men when they approach you.
@@kennygoodman4194 attracting or not implicate that that type of men exist, being each one in his:her independent reality doesn't mean that other humanbeing doesn not exist or are not suffering so you have to be compassionate. What men need to do is to level up. Also it would get so much easier if good men hold asshole men accountable not just defend them or act like they don't exist just to not cause themselves problems.
Amazing! As a male human you have stated my emotions better than i could. I have shared many of these thoughts myself but as a male it is perceived as an attempt to control.
@la ba lol you perceive anything vaguely negative as hate. Where is it? Why don't you refute what I said if you know better? Is it because theres truth (read: hate) in it? Where did empowerment even come into this? Have you looked out the window lately? You are empowered, more men and women are miserable and defunct in the relationship department, romance is in fading embers. The issue is a so called empowered woman then requires an equally or more empowered man. Show me the career girl who settles down happily with the man working at Walmart.
One thing society needs to change in the minds of women is, being a "good girl" _IS_ speaking directly in a loving and respectful way. This goes a looong way in a relationship, any relationship actually. We, both men and women, have internalized some horrible and just plain wrong messages.
When men don’t do anything, then do you do it or live in a trash can. No thank you. I can do it myself and know that it is done. If not, aren’t we called a nag. They can sit in their egos.
That explains why I have a half older brother, half older sister.. and I'm the only child of my mother and father's current marriage.. My mom is SUPER independent and critical.. and she previously got with my sister's dead beat dad that made her clean the house and pay the bills.. and my brother's dad who cheated on her with multiple women.. My dad (her current spouse) is super nice and has a high vibration.. but at times he can be a doormat and just lets her do what she wants. He sometimes complains about my mom not taking him seriously.. Toxic feminism can turn out to be a SERIOUS mess when there is no balance in a relationship... (I'm saying this to inform people of how important balance is and to respect the position of the opposite sex, and to respect yourself to attract the same kind of respect.. but not putting your sex on a pedestal.)
@@nikkinorman4254 for a ballanced man his home is a sanctuary, not a dojo. Forbiding arguments at home or "ritualizing" them (ie argumenting while taking a walk) can helps communicating.
@@nikkinorman4254sounds like you're blaming your mother's first two baby-daddies for being deadbeats, but failing to blame your mother for choosing them as the fathers of your half-siblings to begin with. It takes two to tango, so while I agree 100% that they were deadbeats, where was her accountability when she was spreading her legs for those deadbeats? Women have all the authority when it comes to reproductive rights, so they bear all the responsibility to not let crappy men into their bodies in the first place. As for your father, sounds like you're mother is the "user/abuser" in that relationship, but now your father's not happy but would have to chop his leg off to get away from her because legal system is so biased against men...which Teal alluded to right in this video.
I am the 'i got it' kinda woman. Very independent not anti men or faking it, this is actually my personality. I'm very dude like in my thinking/actions. This is why i can't give a man what he needs. I realised this a while ago but i also don't have a problem with being single so🤷♀️
There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are happy. You will find someone that will apreciate you exactly like you are. I think the message here is for some women that feel that they have to be independent to be valueable or something, and that presure is causing everyone pain.
@sheva noorda I reasonate with what youre saying (im an aquarius girl born on a Tuesday with lots of mars energy, if that makes any sense to you)... I just felt inspired to share my own story to this topic. And when I write, I always feel like reflecting at the same time. :) i feel super boyish, I was always a little bossy and its easy for me to take the leader role, I loved to be around boys and talk like them and play like them and train like them, that gives me confidence. There is nothing wrong with that and I think it is genuinely appreciated by a lot of guys, however at the same time I did discover the last years through all the difficulties in my relationships and also certain issues, that I became aware of in therapy and while studying feminine and masculine energy, that I have just never had a chance, nor a good example to develop and connect to my feminine energy inside of me. I started noticing that due to issues in my relationships with men, other women or even my mum. I have always felt very 'anti' female things and admired big time everything usually considered masculine (leadership, intelectuality, decision making, providing, being very strong, doing everything myself, not liking it to ask for help). I understood that I was not giving myself space to connect with my emotions/intuition, nor vulnerability or playfulness, needing to be strong all the time (until I burned out on all levels). This need to be strong and independent probably relates to my childhood too, probably a coping mechanism as my intelectual side was always super valued, but my emotions or dispair not ever understood. I now understand that being anti feminine is basically resisting to parts of myself, because in the end, I am a woman and I love being one as well (I always appreciated my easthetics as a woman, just never felt I could relate to other womens behaviour or interests). So now I'm on a journey discovering that part in me, in order to honour it and find the power in that so I can be truly and fully me, a girl well connected to both of her masculine and feminine energy in order to benefit from both. I think its about softening parts in me, that are pretty 'tough' and might not always be. I figured that no guy felt like protecting me, when I was actually vulnerable, coz to the outside I never gave the impression i needed any protection (even though I deeply longed for it sometimes...)... all of this is super interesting. 😊😊😊😊 lets see where my discovery goes ... I think as we authentically evolve we will always find more parts to ourselves which we didnt even know existed, which open many many new doors. 😊 thank you for reading, if you got until here. This feels like diary writing. I know you will find your mate when you are ready and until then congrats on enjoying your single life 😊
@maddie moohl you're starting to live in your truth instead of denying and suppressing yourself good for you! I'm actually at that point in my life to and i bever felt more like myself and free and happy before. It's almost like holding you're breath you're entire life and now just started to breath it's awesome
@sheva noorda :) yes I feel like its such a relief to finally start showing up for all of me and live more authentically, but not just out of automatic trauma response, but out of understanding and listening more to whats actually going on. 😊😊 I am very happy that you are at that moment too!!!!
It's not dude like to not want to be submissive. Let's stop perpetuating this nonsense gender stereotypes. Being independent is great and what women are capable of doing and should do. I'm also single because i don't want to be under anyone's leadership. If we ain't gonna be equal in value and decisions in the relationship,respecting and loving eachother then im not interested.
Yes, men need to feel needed, appreciated and respected. In fact, telling them you respect and appreciate them and giving them things to do for you, chores, tasks, errands really helps them feel loved and love you. I learned this years ago and through experience. I am independent and still need men in my life. My partner needs to feel needed by me. He loves to run errands for me and with me, loves opening doors for me, etc. He loves providing for me. We don't live together and don't see each other enough due to his work and living 45 min away from one another. I like my time alone at home. So, it works well in some ways.
The universe will match you with who you're looking for as long as you are in alignment with yourself, any place within your life is already there for him and its not up to you to fit him in there, he will fit based on who and what you are and what you are vibrating.
There's only one way to say this. You are wrong. The universe will not match you with anyone... It's not like sitting around meditating is eventually going to cause your perfect girlfriend to spawn from the heavens and fall right into your lap... That isn't how the universe operates, hippie.
@@MyouKyuubi I think its more like youre gunna be matched up with people who are on your vibe.Whether your meditating, or a player, or someone who wants committed relationship or whatever. If you're doing the work, showing up to be authentic, youll meet other folks on that wavelength too.
I am always upfront and honest about what I need and still my needs aren't met. I guess that means that either we are incompatible or he doesn't care about me. Lesson learned. Thank you Teal. Xx
My wife has told me that she has told me what she needs/wants. But the problem is that it always happens at a time or when I am in a state where I can't remember. I don't want to forget. But I do, adding in ptsd and adhd just makes it that much more difficult. Men also see the wild mixed signals that are sent. I have initiated intimacy when she asked for it and how she asked for it and had her respond as though I was trying to rape her. It didn't make sense to either of us. Women tend to be this flowing wave of beautiful energy, but when you have to surf that wave you can't trust that it will also be this exact wave in this spot. My wife always draws two pretty dismal conclusions which is some sort of version of I don't care. I can't speak for your partner, but I have a hard time keeping up with the ever changing nature of the feminine. I have learned to sit in the chaos of her being instead of running away. But that is effing hard to do. It is your nature to push him away to have him show up powerfully. It is his nature to show up powerful... except that especially for gen x men, we have all been beaten and abused for the crimes of our fathers and grandfathers. We carry their sins with us cause we saw how bad they were. And we actually chose to rebel and stop that behavior. But instead of being celebrated. We are beaten down and yeah, we become passive. If it is important to you that your needs are met, then telling him once or twice is really setting him up for failure. Write it down. Because you might think you are communicating clearly but he is picking up on the ten emotional states you are also communicating and now he has to figure out what is true now, later today and mostly always. It is worthwhile but don't imagine it's easy for men to be with feminine energy. And probably vice versa. And most of us don't have good role models.
Well, something to consider is self understanding. Another alternative to incompatibility and not caring is demoralization.. For example, if I am responsive literally to the requests.. and am told that it doesn't count because I should have known.. the messages I actually get is, you don't know what you want, I can't trust you.. and trying is worse than doing nothing... instead of feeling good, I feel useless and unappreciated
I couldn't agree more, god damn it. You perfectly echoed all my recently developed philosophies with startling accuracy. I absolutely love having a man take care of me and provide for me. I like having the door opened for me and feeling protected. My heart goes out to the women who are scared to experience this. It makes us feel good, and it makes men feel good too! ❤
Well, I think men would feel good too, if they got positive attention from women without risking their lives protecting women or at least have woman protect them in return. Sounds like a bad deal to do all this for positive affection.
@@captainfuture2882 - I'm aware there's a lot of resentment between the sexes, but I think it's a little hyperbolic to just assume that all women, or perhaps if I'm to interpret your statement figuratively, most women will ONLY dispense affection if a man is literally risking his life. Most men and women aren't as extreme as the vocally wounded make them out to be. I know this because I too have a tendency to exaggerate my painful experiences with men, when I know that most men are not disgusting pigs who will cheat on me. Most women are happy to be affectionate for conditions that are not as extreme as life-risking. For myself, I'm obnoxiously affectionate regardless of the circumstances, haha.
@@briannab4770 The thing today is as a man,i feel women only care about what can i do for them or my social status (you said provide me) and it leaves a feeling that women don't care who you are but only what can you provide to them.It's my nature to provide to a woman in a healthy relationship,but when she feels entitled to it,i not only feel she is not looking at me ,i also just can't do it.
@@afojgel - Men love to provide for a woman who loves him, but as with anyone, they abhor being *obligated* to do anything. In a healthy relationship, both people are recognized for their intrinsic value, and are celebrated for their being more than just their doing. If you find yourself in relationships with women who make you feel like nothing more than a productive commodity, I'd urge you to instead seek a woman who makes you feel celebrated, valued and loved. Not just systematically rewarded for completing tasks. - Sending love. ❤
This is really such a helpful perspective. I actually crave divine masculine energy. I hope I learn to be more in my feminine energy to help facilitate that safe place for them too. They need that so much. I wish everyone healing.
This "evolution" won't stay for more a generation. If everybody has his epiphany too late in life they won't be able to pass their traits to the next generation. It's like becoming the perfect sterile organism. Useless.
Amazing, thank you for the clarity I needed. It's the incompatibility I've been ignoring that ultimately becomes the final straw. I hear you and will rewatch this again.
Missing from the conversation is that fact that men and women BOTH have masculine and feminine aspects, and each person expresses them differently. We need to build a space where both men and women can fully embrace their masculinity and femininity, even if most cis-heterosexual relationships take on a “Yin/Yang” character, where the feminine within the masculine and the masculine with the feminine are only a part of the larger half. It’s still an inextricable part. Men don’t need to become women or vice versa but their masculine/feminine each need to be in balance in order to have a healthy, fully realized relationship. In so many contexts, both men and women are playing caricatures of what men and women are “supposed” to be.
I agree with everything she said about how to manage a relationship dynamics. And how it's ok to show your man how he can fill a role in your life. But I disagree a bit about the women who usually fulfill the manipulation role and men who would appreciate the straightforward behavior part, in my experience men who are traumatised do not sometimes understand the straight forward behavior of women and they would instead rather gravitate towards those who manipulate them instead. It's sad when people are so messed up that they don't understand or appreciate if someone's straightforward with them. And I personally try to be straightforward most times. All am saying is that men can be manipulative and women can be straightforward naturally, depending on their upbringing and also the masculine and feminine energies they have. We have both masculine and feminine energies and hence such tendencies in us.
15:35 THIS! That’s it. That’s all. “Actually make sure that whoever you are with is actually compatible to you. In that who he is and the things he naturally does actually DO fulfill an important role and purpose in your life.”
As a woman this is absolutely mind blowing to hear. 👏 Thank you I now see men and women in a different light. I also watched your other video what every man needs to know about a woman which was also mind blowing. 👏
This is actually the most accurate discription of what men think and want! I’m surprised why she is not have million subscribers yet! Keep the useful work to delevere the reality picture of the world!
Rile of two... you just display that you don't have abilities to accept. Aslan, Don't pay attention to this bully who doesn't like it that he craves love because the current climate makes it harder for us to be compatible. It's difficult for each sex to not listen to the strong narratives. The one thing we all have in common is we want to feel love. We have to show love to get love. Don't feel swayed by this bully he's just a product of the backwards and sideways narratives we all experience. Which, are really constructed to sell us stuff to make other people and big companies rich. If we all could realize this we'd get along much better and genuinely feel more fulfilled. 💚
Teal...... MAny thanks....... you represent the powerful, the woman and the strength that facilitates many levels of growth! As for the comment on why she hasn’t seen the number of subscribers might just reflect the numbers of people who still know fear and resentment in facing such powerful qualities of growth. Women... please open to consider and appreciate what this woman has the courage to speak about..... fore she actually embodies a powerful feminine capacity and is teaching some very much needed growth potential..........
It makes me so sad.. because my husband is not in his healthy masculinity. He pushed me to find a job, which I did, and now I am the provider. And he always says that I should first ask to help me, not just wait that he would help me with something.. so I already forgot about how the man's initiative looks like. Let me help you! Let me open a door for you. But from my side I still cook, look after children (we have 4 kids) and try to give him as much attention as possible, hoping that it would boost his confidence and he will find the job. But from his part he won't even buy me flowers for my birthday, saying that he is doing it on purpose, because I am being so egoistically demanding and pushing.. I mean yes maybe I am already starving for attention, and not sexual affection and containment. I just don't know what to do.. really.. I am so lost
That is sad. I am sorry. A healthy man does not push the woman to behave as a man. He wants his woman to be a woman in all ways and let him be the provider and protector. Are you really lost or have you been intentionally confused by a mentally unhealthy man who does not want to take responsibility for himself, his woman, and his children?
@@sweetbunny6198 Life is faced with the dual challenges of survival and reproduction, and the solution was to have a sex optimized for each of those two. Either accept that we are all codependent or accept failing at the game of life. Given that nature went through the considerable trouble of making two sexes, we can safely assume that women are better at being women and men are better at being men. At least with respect to what those roles meant in the stoneage where evolution occured.
@@virtual-viking "the solution was to have a sex optimized for each of those two" Women aren't optimized for either. -Women are far more important then men from a reproductive standpoint because they can only give birth to usually one baby per year. Whereas men can impregnate a bunch of women each day. Greed even if biological (unintentional) isn't considered optimal in our world. -Men are far more important than women from a civilization standpoint (civilization = context for survival). They build, maintain, discover and invent almost everything. Yes they are dependent on women for reproduction but that doesn't make them equal to women. Not viewing women as equal isn't hating them or mistreating them. Pets, children etc. are unequal to adult men and we love them and treat them better than humans in many cases.
@Damaraju Shailaja "I see men and women having different capabilities" Please do elaborate. I am curious especially about the female ones. "None is more or less than another" I see. The *men and women are equal but different* fallacy. "Men and women are not meant to compete" But they do. That's what the west is all about. Women making sure they defeat men. They started doing so since they earned the vote (51% political power) without signing for the draft. In 1965 white women hijacked affirmative action (meant to help blacks) in order to compete with white men. "collaboration happens betweens equals" Except women and men are not equal. Not even one individual is equal to another, let alone different genders. "Men need women as much as women need men" Demonstrably false. All civilizations were build by men. The old west was built by men. No women required. Men need women fort reproduction only. Women on the other hand are done for without men. "we define ourselves as equals.." Doesn't make you equals. I can define an ISIS member as the King of Virtue. Doesn't make him one. "To summarise, men and women are equals but different." HAHAHAHA *The cognitive dissonance lol.*
@@Twisted86 And how do you achieve life without women? You plan moving on Mars? cause on this planet you will be bumping into them either way, you don't actually need a wife or a girlfriend, but maybe a co-worker or a sister. Even if you lock yourself and work from home for the rest of your life, your biology alone still dictates your need for the opposite sex. And even if society's so-called correctness is dividing and conquering us in so many ways, unless we are psychopaths (which I am sure most of us are not) we are still better together.
ok... First off I must apologize. I did not expect this level of truth and intensity. I expected witter banter and sarcasm as there is always some emotional interjection from the female perspective. You are the FIRST woman to have stated this succinctly, correctly, and proficiently. I listened to every. single. word, and you have done a masterful job. Well done. I will use this video as a teaching aid in the future. I have spoken at length on the pendulum effect of feminism and many other problems such as racism and it's current pendulum effect. Many older women do not understand the enormous damage this phenomenon has caused. Extremely wealthy and power hungry men also noticed this effect and made sure that feminism continued to snowball out of control in an effort to effect global change. By destroying the family core unit to be replaced and subjugated by a false one of their creation to allow their power to remain unchecked or challenged permanently and forever alter the course of human being history into perpetual dark energy loops. The current state of society is NOT natural. The side effects of the pendulum have been exacerbated exponentially to cause maximum damage. This is part of what my dark night of the soul was for. My purpose as an indigo in this life is to go after those causes (heal them, stop them) so that the effects subside and fall back into balance. Thank you again.
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It is conflicting... These thoughts. beckoning. A hand, the fingers of a woman, her actions. A woman that reaches straight towards you to care for you... Doesn't fear you but just says " Hey your pasta is falling of your plate, doesn't say just whips the noodle back on your plate"... yea... but don't we all have to question it..
I grew up in a problematic family. My father completely refused to do basically anything for our family so we were relying on my mom all the time. I grew up as "strong independent, go and get it" woman. I was always wondering why awesome men were not coming to me, only leach or taming type of guys. Then I met my husband 7 years ago, who just told me this simple thing: "my love, we are a team, we are in everything together. You don't have to do things on your own anymore". That woke me up, and suddenly I felt relieved that I have a man on my side who will do his job, and I will not have to struggle anymore. I realized it at that moment, how I really struggled till that point, and I considered it "empowerment" meanwhile it was just simply heavy labour unnecessarry struggle. My man is a true treasure. Ladies, listen to Teal, your life will be much more of a high quality!
You're fortunate, my man told me that and he got comfortable and started to sit on Facebook at every chance he got and nothing seemed to be able to get him off. Needless to say I left.
@@ZFern9390 yes, and guys like that are complaining to everybody that all women are...... all they care about is rich or cool guys. And he can't find a decent one. They want a slave, not a woman. You did right that you left! Tipical 'you have to make food, wash, clean etc meanwhile I am doing entirely nothing, nothing what a man suppose to do. BUT if you miss to clean once the house, or you are deciding not to cook, i am going to shame you immediatelly" 😂
@@Bvilloyou can't claim to be “independent, go and get it” type while also expecting men to approach you instead of asking them out yourself
The hypocrisy of women...
@@-SimonRiley
Hey there, don't be so judgemental, like this I could also say "ohhh the ultimate laziness of men, they would expect us to do everything even in bed, meanwhile they just stay still and enjoy themselves".. Back to your question: Tried that one too, didn't work SUPRISE SUPRISE 😄 thats why I said it is dumb to be "strong and independent etc woman" I know it from experience, you are a living, walking repellent for real men 😄
It so will be!
"This doesn't mean that we're better or worse than eachother, it means our areas of excellence are different" 💯🔥👏
I'm better at being angry and punching things, and you're better at being sad and/or crying! Yeaaah, gender roles /flex /kms
@Infinite Signy Happy person confirmed
I’ve said this from day one! Men and women are not better or worse than each other, just different than each other and have different strengths and weaknesses. Some people can play the piano 🎹 and some people can play the guitar 🎸. It’s just the way it is. Cheers!
Word. And the idiocracy of contemporary society really is that "human nature" has come to be regarded as almost some sort of swear word and most certainly is concidered a faux-pas! 🤦🏻♂️🙄
@@tomprice3258 lol, I can play both but the guitar better but I also definetely can play the piano better than playing pretend of being a woman with all its unique and nuanced qualities and features! 😉
As a man. Im crying right now. This was beautiful.
Lmao
Sounds like you’re a wo-man.
Aww I want to hug you :]
I love that you said this🙏
Thank you
As a man, I love serving women. Teal is correct in that men need to have a purpose, and to me, our main purpose in life is to provide for and protect our families. That's why we take risks and go for the big bucks. We want to serve you, ladies. We want you to be our queens, and we want to be good role models for our kids. This is what it means to be a man.
💞
Thank You ❤
🫶🏿
You are so appreciated
If only more men knew this and if only more women chose compatible partners.
Being passive aggressive was my biggest issue. But my boyfriend was direct and helped me communicate with him better. Its been ten years we are together now.
My ideal form of relationship. 👏🏼 wish i could find someone like him
@@huirant287 Guys like that are never online, their in constant drive for self improvement it may be big or small, but it is for sake of becoming better, my advice for you is to go out more, go to book store's, places that demonstrate intelligence, respect and righteousness and act feminine.
I can’t stand passive aggressiveness, one of women’s biggest issues. Be direct, get things done, have good communication.
@@bernesk3773 hard to find single people that way though
@@SandraLovesSun Hard to find high quality men.
Notes:
- To make him feel wanted and needed, give him a role in your life. Open the space to let him do things for you.
- Give positive feedback for his IMPORTANCE in your life. The role that he performs, etc.
- Don't drop hints/cues - just assert needs.
Is it me.... or am I hearing a dog trainer through this statement?
Thank you, I'm a very visual person and I like to see things written down.
I told him what I need and he said “is this an obligation?” “Are you trying to change me?” I was like no, I thought you want to know what makes me happy. Anyways, that relationship ended quickly.
This is the same with everyone: man or woman
A man wants basically to be Admired and Appreciated.....this is where his role comes from....regardless of what he does
Former "independent" lesbian here to say this is everything I needed to hear!!! I grew up with a passive father and overbearing controlling mother, never learning how to be in a healthy relationship. THIS helped so much!!!!!
I hear ya
Are you implying that your controlling mother caused you to look to other women for a relationship?
Thank you!
@@ruckboger she is relaying to us, her struggle with how she took the roles in her parents dynamic and that it created a mixed message for her on what to emulate..it may change for everyone but there wasn't a reason to try and set her up for a verbal attack. You are looking for a fight not really wanting to know about her journey.
@@thegoldengypsy929 What? I'm not looking for a fight. I'm trying to understand if she's saying she is now a lesbian because of her mother or her father.
The bit about feminism I've spoken with my husband about many times. I call it an overcorrection. The modern feminist movement has overcorrected to a point of inequality, inequity, and it no longer serves women at all. It's been really wild to see it play out.
Thank you for being honest about this!
My now ex and I broke up over this issue. Many young women do not see that the modern left has become very radical and „overcorrected“ as you say. It’s gotten from a good cause to support to a tyrannical movement.
I’m grateful for every person who starts to see and realise this. Men are not your enemy, we want you to strive just as much! Anyone who doesn’t, is a fool
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
A feminist can't be a wife
I have a different perspective to share. I genuinely grew up in an environment where there were no men, no male cousins, no uncles. Just my dad, whos not the manliest of men. He also passed away.
So in reality, everything a man does to provide for his family, I did myself. And my mom did for me and herself.
And this was not a temporary predicament. This was the state of my entire life.
So when it comes to these issues, men gave me a free pass. Once I explain why I think men and women are equal, they get quiet and just say well not everyone is in my situation. That's true, but it goes both ways.
Women need to survive, and thrive, with or without a man. A woman is more than what a man sees in her.
@@suziebee4240 Well, it is the same for men as well. men need to survive, and thrive, with or without a woman. A man is more than what a woman sees in him.
And what you have experienced and said has changed the internal structure of your functional being. So, All good.
I never get mad at a man opening a door or using his physical strength to help me . Love it.
Keep in mind if you’re in a relationship w a narcissist none of this applies... simply run!! They will never change or be healthy for you.
And the issue is that MOST men are narcissists this is why relationships no longer work. It's not women's fault.
I lol'd at this generalization. Think of all the males from around the world, some in huts, some in houses, some in flats, some on houseboats, some in motels lol. Most are narcissists? Wow.
M Styles that’s your experience. i’ve met women who are completely at fault of this. refusing to take responsibility is an emotional response, not logical.
@@mstyles2667 wow... The ignorance spewing from this comment. I'm baffled. No most men are NOT narcissists and you don't speak for all women and the reason their relationships fail. Don't project your experiences on that many people. Are you serious.
@@mstyles2667 Most women are narcissists. Gottem.
Told the guy I dated for years I need attention, and he still did not give it. Ima straightforward girl, yet he couldn't handle it. And was opposite, not forward, the manipulator and liar. Some men are just self-centered and selfish, and that is why im no longer with him. This message only applies to men who actually available and committed to being with you. Do not ever think you will change a man. You will only be hurt the long run. Just end it, and move on. don't waste time.
Be straight forward to good men who genuinely love you, never play a man's heart when they genuinely care. Beforehand, test if he actually cares.
Go back to 7:00, replay that whole bit about compatibility a few times
true, I am a selfish men and my ex always wanted attention from me, I hated it, I just want to see a women 2-3 times a month only for sex, thats my nature. I tried to give her more attention, but I wasn‘t me anymore snd didn‘t enjoy it. I look for a girl who doesn‘t want mich attention and is very self focused as well
@@JamesBreitenstein men and man is different. The same with women and woman.
Give them attention and you will be replaced. They want what they do not have.
Three years later, this is all still true. This video hits something so utterly deep and true about humanity. I'm so glad I found myself on this side of UA-cam.
My husband had to teach me to just say what I didn't like him doing at the time instead of letting it accrue like a debt in my head that would come spewing out during arguments. Once I learned this life got much better for both of us.
Thats really nice!
That would make things so easy.
Thanks for sharing. I am learning this now in my current relationship. Its hard because i'm not good at expressing/tapping into what i want but i like that he wants to know at the same time :-)
You really had to learn that not saying you are annoyed by something is causing people to do it by accident ? Seriously ?
@@jakubrogacz6829 I was raised in a family where people responded violently if I said how I felt so it wasn't natural for me to just say how I felt. After my husband assured me he wouldn't get angry if I was honest with him I started trying to speak up like 'oh I wish you'd wipe the benches after you clean the dishes'. Based on my experiences from my family that would have resulted in people yelling "Do them yourself then!" and throwing dishes at me. So I was actually surprised when he'd just say ok and wipe the benches. I'm grateful for him making me feel safe to use my voice. Its helped me feel brave in other areas of my life too.
I used to be a lot more in my masculine, "I don't need a man energy", in my early 20's. Now in my early 30's, and more confident I'm my body and my femininity, I noticed a huge change im my relationships. Now men, (total strangers), open the door for me and I let them. My now boyfriend loves to physically lift me up, give me gifts and compliments all the time, and im now learning to receive. In a weird way in the past, it was almost as if my self worth was so low, that I didn't think I was worthy of love. It's out love that a man does these things so I allow him. Just like I ask my boyfriend if he's eaten, or give him a back rub for carrying me sometimes 😅. It should be a beautiful give and take, I understand this now.
I see men open doors for masculine women all the time
Yes. Recieve graciously, ladies. Those stupid flowers scattered throughout the house as a trail to the invitation to spend the weekend at a German Inn is as cliché and unimaginative as tooth ache, so you may be thinking. But don't say it out loud. We got much enjoyment out of planning it out and going to the florist. We may be awkward and clumsy at romance, but recieve well and give us our enjoyment as well. Don't deny us our love for doing stupid stuff for you.
Good thing as long as it’s a genuine and a pure interaction problem is these men these days want to be spoiled and do things expecting something in return right away it’s not genuine low effort
These days you can’t benefit from being with a man. That’s why I stay on my own
It's why I am not interested in dating anymore. Manipulation, passive aggressive signals, demands like a 5year old, having a mood for hours. I don't care for your drama, tell me exactly what and why or find the door. Playing mind games with someone you love is disrespectful. Openness and honesty is what builds connection, trust and respect.
I'm dating but with clear boundaries and have no problem leaving b.s.
@@etiennecfourie777 yeah power to you. I have had a bad experience, and don't feel the reward is worth the effort. Perhaps one day I will.
@@zazethe6553 i feel you but take heart not all them apples is bad . . .
Tell me about it, just had to run from a guy like this 🤭
At some point in life one should know a little (to be kind) of what one wants. And be able to communicate at least that clearly 🤣
Men do this too. A lot.
as a woman i support this. I love masculine energy. Im just as much traumatized as the man. Ive gotten my bounduries pulled out from under me and then felt forced to do life by myself. I really hope we can fix this. I want masculine energy to match my feminine energy. go all of us. Lets not give up!
We got this!!💯
I love love love men. I love them as friends, I love them as lovers. I love their energy, companionship and how they want to look after us females.
Me too I have so much love for them they go through so much and never get to talk about it 🥲😭😭 we have to support them too🤍🤍🤍🥺🥲
Do they really want to look after us? Is this like whats normal or occurs often?
What are you talking about..
Agreed, healthy masculine energy is just 🥰
Same!
I was fine without him, he was fine without me. We allowed each other to fill roles in the other’s life. We complimented each other.
Interdependence is beautiful!
You mean complemented
Aaaaaaaaaaaa finally a mentally healthy person on the internet, this is a miracle
"Fine"
I think this is just doubling down on feminism. Every other woman on dating apps says: "I'm fine. My life is happy. I just want some one who adds to my happiness."
These are the women you see on the app for 5 years. These are the exact women who are creating passive behavior in men. I'd love to pull her man aside and ask was he fine without a woman in his life. He'd probably say: "I was fine with a headache."
Her man is going to be in serious trouble down the line... She will love him and leave him when she is 75. I don't need him for "anything" anymore. He'll be 80 with dementia living in a dusty room all alone. Trust!
@@TrillEverything Geesh, it sounds like you’ve got some baggage to work through. The author was saying that each was a healthy, complete person in their own right, so when they came together, they clicked in a healthy way. Oh, BTW, complaining about feminism is a red flag in a man. A green flag is a man who says that he likes and supports women.
You lifted such a heavy weight from my mind when you said that we don't have to be/act/look independent. Thank you so much Teal ♡
Independence is a myth!
Owning a car, for example, gives people a sense of independence but depends on the entire history of the evolution of technology and economics in order for it to be a possibility.
A 'self made' independent business owner is entirely dependent on their customers and the stability of the society around them.
Nobody is independent unless they built their own house with materials they gathered themselves using tools they made and designed themselves while eating food they produced themselves using recipes of their own making... etc etc etc. Humans cannot exist independently... at least not for more than a few hours and even then... someone brought them into the world!
People who passionately claim independence are either blind to or ignorant of how much other people have contributed to their lives.
@@AtlanticSiren
There's nothing wrong with being strong and capable, or even aloof and dismissive of others... not if it is genuine and appropriate to the individual relationships that we experience. It's just that these things shouldn't be seen as aspirational achievements and especially not the standard to which we all must conform... People are so much more than that.
We think of the constraints that society puts upon us as being self-inflicted... because we identify as 'society', 'humanity' or 'culture'! This leads us to believe that we can 'fix' these things as individuals... but if we try we are likely to discover that we can't! At least not immediately.
The conditioning that we have all experienced is incredibly effective, largely because of our sociable nature... Compliance with what is familiar to us comes easy while change can be a struggle... but I think that once a person understands the myth and how absurd it is for people to perpetuate it, they can begin to shift their inner focus, away from projecting an image of themselves for the benefit of other people, more towards awareness of their actual experience of other people. It encompasses 'letting people in' and learning to be vulnerable as well as experiencing compassion.
The paradox of trying to be more connected to our humanity within this culture is that we will often end up looking more independent as we step out of the mold and become more complex individuals!!!!
I hope that makes some kind of sense... I just read it back and I'm confusing myself!
I'll leave you with this:
“Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque” ~ U G Krishnamurti
@@CitrusSimon Yes... a compassionate life, for sure. (Which is essentially the same thing as a spiritual life.)
I'm sorry but as a woman, I cringe so much when I hear, ''I'm an independant woman'' or ''I can do anything that men can do''. For me it just shows the degree of your insecurities. If you feel the need to claim that, than it means deep down you don't feel like that. Imagine that : ''I'm an independant man!'' ''I can do everything that women can do!'' This is cringe right? Edit: Of course you can! You can do whatever the heck you want with your life. But men need women the same way women need men, for emotional support, I'm not talking about money!
Edit: I'm not saying women shouldn't or can't be independant (financially or whatever), I'm saying why the heck do you feel the need to tell everyone, as if your ego depends on it. Yes, women need to be financially independant. There are no reasons why women should have less money because of biology.
@@CitrusSimon Rare as they are, connections like that do make it all worthwhile! :)
💯!! To all men watching, know that there are MANY women out there who agree with this and need you to be men!! Thank you!
I approve this message. 💯
Absolutely!
I second that! 🙌🏼
I am a woman and I endorse this message.
Im a man and no one cares what you endorse
@@thesmartestmanintheworld2653stay in your lane woman!
Sorry I’ve gotta go back to my job as a heavy line electrician, where I’ve never met a woman in my field!
We need the cookie bakers and bed sheet folders!
Be proud of the calling God granted you…hopefully….
Don’t burn em! 🍪 😜
“I want to be connected to you. I need to be connected just as much as you do. In order to feel that way I need to fill a role in your life. A role that holds purpose so that I can clearly tell that you need me and thus want me here in your life.”
😭 my single ass got emotional at that part
SAME 😭💕
@CV B and oh yea be under 30
Unless your in Melbourne, Australia I can't help you with the single situation in your life :p Look I'm sorry it's just how it is.
She's equating needs and wants thereby turning men into desirable mules. The day women want men simply for who they are will be the day real advancement comes. The exchanging of the needs of the woman for the wants of the man is basically whoredom with a white picket fence around it. Anymore, intimacy is the only thing the two sexes need from each other but eons of the wants/needs exchange program have left us nearly incapable of adapting to this new paradigm.
Sorry, you did not deserve to have all that dumped on you, it's just the way I see it (which is probably way off. Oh well.) Cheers
@@jjcool4184 i know on the surface this is cruel. Men started thinking this way when most women over 30 standards seem to sky rocket while their looks decline. They are way more damaged from the bad boys they dated in their youth. So they are now so bitter. Men knowing what they now know dont want to deal with that when they are getting finacially set. Truth is younger women are a bit more easy going without the baggage.
While many men say they do this because they just want young fertile women. I do not see it that way I see plenty of women actractive over 30. I would think they would match better maturity wise. Yet, too many times I see they are damaged beyond repair and have so many standards while I am expected to have none.
I am a Man and I approve this message. Spot on. Thank you for your courage, Teal.
I concur 😂
But so then, why don’t men commit even when we treat them so well?
Because the men you are attracting are this way. It's not men, it's your point of attraction... universal laws at work here.
@@BrooklynBaby100 Modern day feminism. The MGTOW movement is there to protect men that's why. Too many cases of false accusations of rape, domestic violence, etc.
Night King > This is a different century from the 50s woman are more Independent and beautiful men see more of a variety of women, but It's their lost if they lose a good woman!
Wow!!!
This was better than the last 6 sessions with my therapist.
She is amazing 👏
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
It's the straight talking style she has from the start, it seems to me to give a framework of reference .... Then the details and specifics can be delved into , is my thoughts..... A similar thing she is relaying here it seems.... If we don't know what to expect or what the framework is for reference .. it can seem like we are bumbling around and getting nowhere ..
@@miriambayliss7058 you can say that again! 😂
This woman is all about balance. She recognizes the benefits and harmfulness of both feminism and masculinism in their different forms.
This is why I believe a third way - humanism - is needed. People have needs that need to be filled. We need roles, but we also need flexibility - life doesn't stay the same, but if all options are valid, none are. We need to be able to be who we are and love who we will. We need safety amd security. We need a common language.
We can't achieve this with gender-supremacist ideologies like redpill or fourth-wave feminism.
@@TheAsvarduilProject👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Finally someone who makes sense on here and preaches exactly what I've been saying for years, that we need eachother and realise that both sides have their strengths and weaknesses
Do us a favor Shame feminists
Exactly!
Well said, totally agree. Have a great day : )
As women, we need men and this awesome video reminds us how to communicate this clearly to men. We have all been mislead with ideals of being independent. It’s time to remember we are interdependent and the world is a beautiful place when man and woman work together in harmony to create balance.
Too late. No one likes you anymore and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze
Yes but that’ll take forever or almost impossible to happen
@@maryamdiao1509 That’s because we have been conditioned to see the other as a threat. The work to reverse that has to begin somewhere, by believing it’s possible and it’s necessary.
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 true but hmmm I wonder why 🤔
@@thusharividanagamachchi9779 Men do see women as a threat now thanks to the 60-70% divorce rate and 80% of divorces being filed by women. The "metoo" movement. Now Millions of men are now homeless, childless, in poverty, suicidal risks, thanks to no fault divorce. I have watched videos of women who are now getting a taste of this equality and having to pay alimony, child support etc. and they suddenly want the laws changed. Go figure.
The whole 'I don't need a man/ I'm independent' comment really hit home for me, especially in the types of men this attitude attracts. It would be helpful to have a video recommendation to watch, to help step out of this mindset for women like myself who have been forced to 'do it all' due to a lack of positive male role models her whole life. I've never had any sort of relationship with a male who hasn't been toxic, controlling, abusive or weak and it has resulted in having an 'I don't need a male' attitude. No idea how to step out of it now.
This video has since come out ua-cam.com/video/BwUrfi1Lh_M/v-deo.html
Btw, I used to be where you are.. I started dating a guy I normally wouldn't go for, a guy from a more conservative culture, and he changed my life for the better. I was probably a bit of a detriment to him at first, but I came around and I'm incredibly grateful now.
Well you actually DON'T need a man to live a good life. Being proud of your ability to sustain yourself is not a deterrent to romance. You would be a great catch since you have life experience. Connection doesn't care if you are self supporting or not. If it's there, you have a chance. 😁
I love men being men, instinctively true and strong with their partner.. Men need to be needed, validated and accepted for who they are...
Kindness and respect for each other's differences and realize we are perfect as we are...
Not if they are a sshles hahaha
I don't date, been about 7 years. My husband passed 14 years ago. I tried to date.
Men I felt were to good for me, my life was a MESS after husband died. I couldn't in good conscience even date. Some were on drugs! I TRIED TO FIX THEM. 🙄
I want to be in a relationship but can't. I'm 60 in pretty good shape. The men my age are heading to nursing home looking for a care giver! 🙄
I'm a natural care giver so it's been VERY hard to say, I'm sorry I can't. That is mind numbing work...I'm TIRED, damn it. I just do hobbies and I'm good!
People are lucky who find mates... appreciate what you got. Even if he's like having another child, as long as he is being responsible!
If only it were that easy. Sounds beautiful.
ohhhh so tell me this, are women strong?
are women true?
are women not perfect when they are independent?
What is instinctively true and strong?
@@dellashibu6376 nothing is for sure. Not all men all go getters. Not all woman are go getters. Hopefully someone is a go getter in the family.
People rather be on drugs then stand up to the plate... everyone is SO MISERABLE THEY HAVE TO SELF-MEDICATE. OR SO UPTIGHT THEY NEED TO MEDICATE! 🤷
Hey when you find out let me know. 😁
I always say. Happy happy happy! I'm grateful, I'm blessed and I'm going to do what's necessary for my family!
The art of conversation is lost as well. People, whatever gender, need to talk more.
@Hardy Harhar Exactly
totally
thissssssss in all genders and generations ppl just don't know how to communicate
@@marijagrujicic1370 ya I feel that's due to the cost of conversation has been reduced so much by internet and easy transportation. It's like when we have the chance to communicate anytime with anyone we stop investing in practicing conversing and just change the interlocutor every time the conversations not going well
Everybody want to talk, very few have meaning answers.
Men also need passion, direction, life values & an understanding of themselves. We live in the information age where the constant bombardment of BS 'information' , distorted imagery of life and what life really is confuses men. They no longer really know what they represent. Very few people self analyse and therefore don't really know their 'true' selves...
yes but you don't need a woman to have that. you can find that out for yourself. and when you have a woman, you can tell her how you want her to support you in the existing passion, direction, etc. that you already have.
@@jedilady4485 Totally agree. There are many things I don't understand about society. One thing that particularly springs to mind when thinking about this topic is the whole 'pickup' and 'dating' scene. This comes as a result of looking outwardly, thinking a relationship provides solutions & makes us 'complete'. In actual fact I've come to discover that having a deep relationship with ourselves brings both a strength and vulnerability. It is through this that we understand our true selves and our true nature. It through this that we can all, both men and women, can give ourselves truly...
@CV B you have to remember men have this one big weakness. Never to be seen as weak. I am supposed to be strong in always and in all forms. Mentally, physically, and even spiritally. We hear this from men(fathers growing up) and women. Especially later in life.
So showing weakness like asking for help is hard for us to admit and even do. The men like myself who do seek to heal things broken in ourselves can only do this in two ways. One is if the go MIA and do it in solitude. Tell no one because in truth we won't get real support. Only negative.
What they get is pressure and constant questioning like how is it going? You over that yet? You got your crap together now? Similar like you women who are single and being peppered on who you dating or when you getting married? Why are you single? Whats wrong with you?
This is the same feeling for a man trying to find himself or heal. So men usually act like nothings wrong with him and shows a strong face. The second way is for him to do self healing by being pushed into a corner, by usually a spouse and family. Not in attacking his manhood now. That will never work. He would have to admit something is wrong. Much like a intervention. These only work if a relationship is about to end or losing the family is eminent. Not threats mind you.Those ghost shows illustrate this perfectly.
The family is in danger (from the ghost or demon) or he could lose them. That forces him to feel powerless and want do all he can to fix the situation. I would suggest when trying to get a man to change you would have to speak in this way maybe. "Honey I dont feel safe. We both have things broken in us. I scared I will lose you and then I will lose us. I can't bear that. We both have to heal and be better. If I can't for you or you can't for me we should seperate. I love you so much."
Any other blameful way you tell him to get help won't work. You have to remember all men get that constant message of be a man. Be strong yet open up and show your feelings. We can't easily change easily from one to another usually. Ok this went way longer then I wanted. I hope you understand some what I mean.
@S I second CVB, Dr. Peterson is a phenomenal speaker for the adult-manager-main fragment of men that need to develop confidence, survive, and hopefully thrive, but he speaks little to the things men often don't realize they need: the space to know you as men, as a part of humanity, and as a necessity to life you need time to know that you are not just appreciated for what you do, but for who you simply are. You need to heal like women nee to heal emotionally, you don't have to rush success, take action of course, but when the doors open for you to flow into the next stages. Take time to truly develop your self, for you, and also don't be afraid of unconditional love, commitments, and the rotation of needs that may come forward from within you. Communication is key, and not assuming that a handful of comments are the only ones in the world. There are humanistic people on all sides of the spectrum who want to see you thrive and want to let you know their frustrations too: the human experience is anecdotal and that's important as it is practical.
@SWhat is overlooked in our society is mental strength. The depiction of strength in society, in films, is inaccurate. It is in fact through vulnerability, set backs and challenges in our lives that our true strength, our true courage can be unlocked. This is true for both men and women. A strong man is in touch with his vulnerability. It is then that we discover who we truly are and what we are truly capable of. In society have a habit of internalising challenges and setbacks and seeing them as negative. As a pain. In actual fact these are opportunities for us to discover more about ourselves and our capacity as an individual and species..
As a man I have no idea what women want !!! Just tell us !! We will do everything we can to help and support you !! As we love you !! Help us to help you !!
Love this. 😂 So true. What a good man you are!
I am currently being abused in this way.
I'm told .. just tell me what you want
So I do .. then it's ignored. On purpose.
Actually helping me was Never on his mind.
Start asking better questions instead of placing the blame on the woman in your life please.
The effort proves you are truly committed to your partner.
A lot of this I recently learned as a woman who didn’t grow up with a father or any male role models. I needed this and the clarification. Thank you.
I also watch Adrienne Everhart who is an insightful relationship expert and has exceptionally illuminating and useful things to teach for optimal attraction between the sexes. Usually from the female viewpoint, but highly beneficial to all sexes.
@@tiffany-sheriwageman.3702 I promise you, you will be single and alone for all of your days.
Same, girl! Same! ❤
Same here, Amy. It can be difficult to reprogram, but these videos help open my eyes so much.
wow, you just made it click to me that I also did not grow up with any male role models in my life either! And I was wondering why I couldn't figure them out, other than sexually lol. It makes more sense now thank you 😭❤
Being straight forward in this relationship I'm in, and communicating through everything has been so life changing. I've never had such a healthy and close bond with a man, and he appreciates how clear I am in what I need ♡
Your a role model, keep up the good work and example !
There you have it ... you don't need to seek advice from another woman!
I need that.💌
Some women will sabotage this kind of relationship because it doesn’t feel normal. Also, many women don’t feel they deserve a good man.
Just a question, did others teach you to speak indirectly and if so, what was the moral justification? Thanks.
As a man all I can say is....wow...a lot of this answers some questions about traits I have...I love the informative structure you used to approach this, thank you.
@BladeRnR10 Actually, there is nothing more sickening than a Distorted Masculine ( or Distorted Feminine for that matter) with an unchecked shadow who enjoys trolling and contributing to the current divisions in our society.
Hello fellow man. How do?
I love that men watch this :-)
xkissofdeathtashax no it wants to demolish the masculine, we need people to find themselves instead of looking to be in a group
@@NCardude the destruction of intimacy is effective, i am male but have experienced many female past lives. One past live was bith genders, we are one until we are divided. The slave master is equally enslaved.
I enjoyed learning about this. As a woman and single Mother we have played the masculine role more than often and I truly believe that learning about a man in his true masculine is important as he learns how a woman is in her true femininity. Always become vulnerable n authentic with what you want n need with your partner. Thank you for this message!🙏🏽
Being in your feminine energy will automatically allow him to be in his masculine energy. It’s not something we have think about.
nah I agree n there is both positive negative of all genderenergy
nah I agree n there is both positive negative of all genderenergy
If he’s the right man it should be natural flowing. You don’t have to try so hard to be someone you’re not. Some women are not naturally feminine, some women aren’t. Some men are naturally feminine, some men aren’t. You must understand yourself to understand what you want and need in a man.
Yes completely! Masculine is attracted to feminine and vice versa. Masculine men do not want masculine women
"The energies! The insecure energies!"
This is the realest, clearest, most important video I’ve watched in a long time. I really think this video is going to help me in my daily life.
I appreciate that :)
~ a man
The last part of being straight forward is so true. My man always tells me to talk it out coz he ain’t giving up on us. We have to sort it out and tell what’s wrong. He always tells me that he doesn’t wanna know who spoke to me and what jokes I craked at work but instead he wants to know if something went wrong with me during the whole day, if I had any breakdowns or if I ever felt overwhelmed. That’s what he asks me to do and be straightforward about if he is not giving us enough time or if I wanna talk to him, he says that tell me that you wanna talk and it’s his responsibility and his headache to make time. He says that he wants to know if me as his future wife has any issues. He’s happy to fix the issues in him and he does try too.
100% right. Keep spreading this message for the sake of love, marriage, and to help men fulfill their potential and restore the motivation we're born with. We need peace in the home, respect, and to feel valued
I spent a couple of decades giving ‘space’ which was ultimately incompatibility. Hard lesson. It’s easy to ignore when you meet really young thinking there’s room to grow. Sadly, growth doesn’t always happen especially when requests, working out of agreements, directly asking etc are perceived as criticism. Sometimes dudes are not interested in relating.
Man, this woman knows what she’s talking about!
I actually like when a man opens the car door for me or any other act of kindness. Chivalry can be very attractive.
It was kiled.
@@saltytroter6966 indeed
@@saltytroter6966 I don't think you can blame that on women. There are other factors in our society that affects the consciousness of people. Outside influences like Television and controlled movements. I highly recommend the doc. Century of the Self.
@@saltytroter6966 and it's not coming back before women start to act like ladies. These modern thots don't even deserve any chivalry.
I love that! Not many men like that
Hi, man here. Literally every word spoken in this video is completely on point. So much so, that I actually had to sit there and remind myself that despite all of this being so obvious to men, women probably do need to hear this, because they have entirely different experiences. Just like as a man, the "what every man needs to know about a woman" video did give me insight I wasn't aware of (but after hearing it immediately became obvious), this video will hopefully open someone's eyes to how to have better interactions with women.
Feel like i can breathe. Toxic masculinity, i had to walk on eggshells to be who i am. Questioning everything. What a relief to watch this
❤️❤️
Can you explain what you mean by that? Like, what perspective did you have/how did you feel prior to this video, and how do you feel about it now/how did your perspective shift? (I'm trying to understand this from different perspectives~)
@@apollofateh324 hmm I'll try. Bear in mind, my English is pretty bad. To understand the reason why this video was such a relief, i must tell you that it wasn't from a change of perspective as what are male's roles in society , it was from learning that some women do acknowledge the mistakes that they made on the male species especially by the feminists. The good thing from that movement is we get to listen what caused their pain so we could learn not to do it BUT, that movement was so loud in forcing changes, it crossed the boundaries of how males are naturally, generally wired. It wanted male to behave like females and abandoned what males needed in order to function healthily. We don't manifest physically the same because psychologically we have different structures and fibres. Since the main core of our soul is to fulfill the role of protecting women, I was walking on eggshells to not be in my whole masculinity form just because i didn't want to cause pain on women, especially women that matter to me. So it was a disastrous phase, having to betray myself when deep down I clearly knew, what should be done but i suppressed it because many women said it was toxic. So when a woman, in this case Ms Swan, addressed and acknowledged the differences between these two genders, i felt relieved because finally i could stop listening to many ridiculous loud females and focus on the truth.
@@adnaine536 well said 🙂 Extreme feminism takes things too far and what they're trying to achieve is pointless, to say the least. It's so wonderful to see the kindness of man when he holds the door for a woman and nice gestures like those. All women love it, including feminists (despite what they say). When men have these nice gestures, it doesn't mean that they are seeing a woman as fragile or dependent. It's just a nice thing to do for each others. Simple!! Us women need to stop being dramatic with these things. Life is complicated as it is, why complicate more?
I'm very happy that you don't feel the need to conceal anymore of what you think is best. Wish you well sir ☺️
I need my man and I'm not afraid to admit. We need each other. There's things that I can't do that he can, and things that I can do that he can't. Thanks Teal for the info, I can be a better partner! ❤️
It's nice to see women like yourself come out of the woodwork defending our dads and ourselves, and my heart is touched.
Manna to my ears. I am a defender of the male, have always been. I love men!
I love their conversation, presence, differences from us and from each other. I love Teal's bright mind and all she says here.
We women need to reclaim our lost wisdom. My mother was weak but my grandmother was strong, I learned much from both.
An excellent video! Men want to feel needed, women need to feel wanted. Yes, it really is that simple! Men indeed are not mind readers, and this man personally greatly appreaciates a woman that can communicate her wants and needs directly. Thank you.
My EXACT thoughts!!
Men want to be wanted too. If they merely need us like an addict needs his next fix, then it doesn’t really matter if they want us. They could hate us, and still need us. For example if you don’t know how to self-validate and constantly rely on your man to remind you that you are worthy and lovable, then your self esteem is dependent on the man’s presence in your life. He could be a cheater and abuser but none of that matters, you need him. You literally don’t have the power to walk away.
Amen finally a man who knows how to be a man
Beautifully said!!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
This is soooo accurate. All my hurt involving men and father figure has led me to the man-hating mentality, which is just the other extreme of the codependent relation with male figures. Such a huge shadow. Damn.
I'm so sorry ure feeling this way. It's not your fault. Society is misogynistic and patriarchal. Everyone hates women :(
I'm interested to understand how being man-hating... Converted into you entering a codependent relationship. On the surface, that doesn't make sense. But I feel a truth to it... But I can't quite grasp it.
If you see this, I'd very much appreciate it if you could expand on this a bit.
Thanks.
@@breakingthemasks it’s the opposite, the codependent relationships led me to the men hating mentality ;) which is not healing at all, is just the other extremity
@@saraand8787 ... Ahh... Gotcha.
That makes a lot more obvious sense.
Thanks for clarifying.
@@saraand8787 Same. My dad didn't have a good father figure and thus did the basics of what you'd expect a father to be. And when i wanted more attention from him that I felt I lacked, and even pursued a couple of times, it always seemed like he couldn't deal with me or that he was too busy. It led me to think the codependency i see with my mom, who sometimes gets frustrated with this, as something to avoid when looking for men. It made me crave male attention more, looking for passive types that would make me feel loved and looked after. And the rest of that you can probably understand after watching this video.
YES!!! I grew up with all brothers, so I guess I missed out on "nice girl training" and am as straightforward as possible, without sounding like a jerk. My husband loves it. I am actively teaching my boys and girls to be more direct with their wants and needs.
Me too! My mom was also very blunt and honest. I was taught to be loving but to always say what needed to be said and to do so without a lot of vague talk. I have sons, as well as my husband, and I have to be absolutely clear about everything with them. They think and hear and process very differently than me and even with the directness we miss each other and misunderstand. lol
Responsibility gives us meaning. To care for you, to fix everything that breaks, to open the door for you, to open my heart to you means I love you. It also means you completely have the keys to my castle, you can and have completely destroyed me. I have rebuilt myself over and over. In spite of this I still love you.
i would love to be in a society where we can say anything what we really feel (in a decent way) and be vulnerable! it is actually much easier, there is more freedom and clarity that way.
We can start a world like that by being honest in all possible situations! We can show other people how awesome life is when you speak from you heart. I do my best to always speak the truth even when it isn't recieved well. I like to think that the medicine has a delayed reaction. Maybe the people I interact with will think about how healthy and happy I looked when I spoke my truth. I am trying to learn how to not be too blunt though, because some people make me angry without trying, so I should confirm with them what their intentions are before I release my anger. I wonder what the proper and healthy way to express anger would look like?
Unless you’re a man, this is impossible. Women only care about their own feelings.
@@georgestobbart4894 Then that woman is not meant for you! On the other hand there is always a nicer/chill way to express yourself. The one who understands what you are is the woman for you.
Would be nice. However modern women have grown an unfair vindication against men. I've seen countless stories of false accusations against men ruining their lives by women. Even saw a news story of a 19 year old guy being arrested for merely, accidentally brushing up against a 17 year old girl.
It's hard to trust women these days. I'm just thankful I found one who isn't mentally warped in misandry.
Jedi Lady Yeah sure, just not found the right one lol that old chestnut. Nah.
Also, Kasia Urbaniak calls it "good girl conditioning". That "I don't need anything," attitude that is really a fear to ask for what you truly want and need.
urgh. i agree being able to ask for help is important at times but pretending to be dependent or being completely dependent on men is also wrong. MEN NEVER DO THAT and that pride and confidence along with dependence from women gives them power.
@@dellashibu6376 Men do that all the time. Many men are searching for Mommy. Someone to be their brain for them so they don't have to make decisions or take responsibility. This is a problem with many men that I have met. Try being a woman for a year and you'll see it much more clearly. Men are not immune to co-dependancy.
@@ViolaVoltairine urgh. SO TRUE 😒
@@ViolaVoltairine all the time really? clearly u have a type u are chasing or attracting. but i have to admit, some men can be codependent. But still most men including some of codependent ones have no shortage in reasonless pride/confidence or arrogance/toxic masculinity.
Exhibit A: Married man depending on wife for all his needs and wants. wife does chores, works, care for kids, Still he probably thinks he runs the home. Meanwhile the lady is trained and told to think she is weaker and incapable of survival without this man who brings nothing to the table in terms of relationship.
*The point i was trying to make in earlier comment seems to skip ur biased brain so ill repeat it ->Men in general, never pretend to be lesser than human or women, to find a female spouse Yet this video advices women to do so in some way or the other. They dont hold back at office either. And All the men in the comment section is happy about it and even women too. Its not about whether there are men capable of it or not, they arent TOLD or EXPECTED to do so to find a partner. So, peabrain, as a women, my question to the world is, why are women expected or told to do so?*
Why is this video trying to condition women to behave a certain way that has only the merit of making men/man happy while it chips away at a woman's core.
Change is hard and slow. But it doesnt mean it should be stopped. When all woman rise to their full potential(in career&personal) in their own terms. Uphold their own standards while choosing partners, Men WILL Follow suit by appreciating it, normalizing it, accepting it and maybe even expecting it. They will adapt to the new normal (househusbands/sharing resposibities of home,child care equally/not expecting female spouse to give up career as a norm after marriage/ proper discussions between spouses to give weight to both individuals needs and wants/ more voice for women at home in financial planning ) and they should.
This is how progress is made. NOT by Holding on to outdated shitty thoughts, propogating them, validating them online with help of old timers and men afraid of change.
Go gender equality!!!!! Dont hold back ladies show him ur full selves. Confident, Happy, Capable. And tell him "I got it" when u dont need help and if he isnt intimidated/upset -> go for it.😊.
Stay away from men looking for easily manipulatable weak women/girls. Stay away from men looking for masculinity validation from women. Stay away from Insecure and overconfident men. Run away from men who expects you to be less than what you are capable of to make them happy cuz if roles were reversed they wouldnt even dream of making the same sacrificea for u.
@@dellashibu6376 Exactly my experience
I’m a man, and you put it so … correct. I feel like a nag, cause my frequent complaint is “you will easily tell me where I’m going wrong or come short, but you never compliment me”. And the passive aggressive leaves me going “what did I do?????!”. Now I’m off to watch ‘The Divine Masculine’. Love your work! 🙏
THIS IS PURE GOLD!! 🥳💙💐
I am not equal to a man, and I love our complementary differences ❤
I am a new-age woman with traditional values.
I CAN do just about anything I put my mind to, but I don't want to bc I love feeling at home in my confidence of being a soft feminine woman when it comes to things like taking out the trash, working on the car, or mowing the lawn - when my man takes care of things that need to be done, I feel valued by him, and so I enjoy returning that with a good meal, clean clothes, and a home that looks n smells amazing.
Yes, sometimes he helps in the house, and I sometimes help in the yard. It feels great to do things together, knowing we have each other's backs.
When I am weak, he is strong, and vice-versa. We complement each other well when God is the centered balance ❤
PERFECT comment and thank you. ..... This whole discussion is diabolical. I love the assumption "prior to 1960 ..." was nothing but a vapid wasteland for women. Read up on how feminism started. If your honest in your research, it was meant to destroy marriage and family. Exhibit A: Women who take care of their family from home with children have been utterly lampooned and devalued. God created us different and a compliment to one another. Women were definitely NOT created for domestic servitude. Yet they will play that game repeating it over and over...... Women are important. Being a boss girl in HR is not important.
Teal Swan bring back Yin and Yang into relationships. And a reminder of the importance of direct communication of our wants and needs. ❤️
except in her little cult of adoration, she uses men for sex and then throws them away, is what I read.
Humbling. It really hurts my heart the way women boss their men around and/ or trash talk them.
I am also so sick and tired how women are using manipulation.
And yes, I would like to make room for a man in my life.
This is healthy advice.
There will be some reactions to this message, I am sure.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves.
This is complete nonsense.
angie weathers Exactly.
angie weathers exactly. Both sides are seriously pissing me off.
@@angieweathers7180 stop commenting the same thing over and over again. This is your opinion please make some room for others'
@@angieweathers7180True for women, but wrong for men
There’s such great stuff here. I personally really enjoy when I feel roles are balanced. However, I need to point out something that is (unintentional) victim blaming. After being in an abusive relationship myself, which I never dreamed of experiencing, I have to say that being “too independent“ or anything like that is not what draws an abusively controlling man to you. It is actually your light, and what is overlooked most of the time is that agreeability and empathy are actually what are present in survivors and it is exactly those things that are manipulated by the abuser to get you close. In my relationship I was very good at that point at expressing my needs clearly. I did it all the time! As well as asked clearly for what he needed and what his boundaries were. This did nothing to prevent the abuse, because my partner could see how strong I was in knowing myself, and he felt threatened by that because he did not have the same ability. He very often criticized my “voice” and indeed tried to silence it with dangerously violent behavior and extreme gaslighting (he had also gotten out of jail twice). It was not my unbridled horse energy that drew him to me. It was my kindness and my willingness to try to work through things. It is most important to know that the survivor of abuse has ZERO responsibility for the bad behavior and did not do anything to create it. Also as an aside almost all the men in my life romantically and otherwise have been beautiful, compassionate, creative people who respect women’s wisdom. And my abuser appeared to be one of these people at first as well.
Wow, great insight! Thanks! 😊🌎🌄
It's not the light, it's called being codependent, that is why both are drawn to each other
@@tqt252 False, its her light
I used to think exactly the same as you, having experienced extreme narcissism. But years down the road I’ve learnt this - it’s a necessary (big) part of the healing journey to try to work out WHY they were like that, come to the conclusion it’s not your fault it’s their bad behaviour (correct) and then in a way to feel safe and prevent it happening again we have to give it meaning so our brains can make sense of insanity (it’s because he wanted to steal your light, because he is an empty void inside). Also true in my experience.
However there is a missing bit of the puzzle (& I say this with love as I don’t want you to go through this again) - nearly all people who end up at the hands of an abuser fit a ‘profile’ - kind, people pleasing (agreeable) and generally the ‘good girl’ type. Now I know this shouldn’t be a bad thing, but when your desire to please is stronger than your desire to keep yourself safe (aka by leaving immediately) it isn’t working in your best interests. And that is called co- dependency. Having been a very ‘good girl’ myself I was sick of being manipulated and used and determined to find out the cause. I thought it was from being an empath (& they needed my high vibe energy) then realised I was codependent. Learnt everything about it, still couldn’t fix it.
Then I learnt about the four different styles of relating to people (everyone has one) called attachment theory’s (secure, anxious, avoidant or disorganised) and mind blown! I highly recommend learning about this, in order to understand not only yourself better, but others too. It’s literally life changing, especially for those of us bought up to be ‘needless and wantless’ (aka ‘nice’). Trying to ‘earn’ love is exhausting, I really recommend looking into complex ptsd as well, as anyone who has survived trauma and abuse will probably be affected. (Here’s a hint, your startle reflex when scared will be spectacular!) I’m sending this with no judgement at all, I totally hear & feel) you, having been there myself, these are just some things I’ve learnt that have helped me on my journey to healing, and I offer them to you in the hope it may help you make sense of it all too. 💜🕊 x
Thank you for pointing this out and sharing such a personal story!!
This is really important!!
This woman is an international treasure.
As is the man ❤❤
@@Babyduzzit "this woman" He was talking about Teal specifically.
Maybe she is an angel.
I've never seen a nail been hit on the head so strongly and accurately.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves.
This is complete nonsense.
I agree. My eyes have been opened, so grateful for this video
@@angieweathers7180 habas bla tmeniek.
This is a Schock ...maybe you saved my Relationship to men
Teal is absolutely correct! Everyone needs to feel like they have a sense of place and purpose even on a romantic level, .....including men!
This knowledge will probably save me a lot of lonely years. Thank you, Teal.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves.
This is complete nonsense.
angie weathers most men come here to see the in inaccuracies of the video and laugh at the stupid replies of women who still don’t get it
@@polyphonicmonkey9797 As a man I can only agree with you
this video and many others by Teal revives my hope for being a man in a relationship and being able to take care of women. Although is a long process, I am gradually getting into the grips of re-learning to take care of women while I am searching for one. The huge number of females that write positively in this video is so heart-warming.
It's great that you try to change and improve your life into sth. good. A lot of people are ignorant and esp. a lot of men or "male/career-women" . It's a miracle to see or talk with someone, esp. with a man who doesn't try to escape from his inner problems by blaming others (staying psychologically in a child role) but who takes responsibility for his life and solves his problems.
realizing i’ve been taught to do all the wrong things is a little horrifying in this current moment! thanks for opening my eyes to what i’ve been doing
I started this expecting to hate it but, damn
This was really well and thoughtfully put together. You're an intelligent and astute woman and I really appreciate your take on this concept.
why did you have such an expectation in the beginning?
@@abusafoura6594 3rd wave femenism
Everything she said in this video is 100% true. All these things need to be established to have a healthy relationship :)
Totally agree! Thanks to Neo-feminist agenda in Scandinavian countries, women became so unattractive despite their attractive looks. Once I blew my Swedish date just because I was being gentleman by opening the door and paying for the dinner and she felt insulted by my goodwill. Her simple response was, I can do things myself... It was so common that I gave up dating Scandinavians all together. I’m a pro feminism with it’s original intentions but against Neo-feminism.
And yet.....1 out of 4 women get killed or abused by her husband. Feminism is not about hating men or wanting to be like men (hell no!have you heard the locker room talk?) but about having equal respect, opportunities, and appreciation than our male counterparts. Is like making a video about Christianity and assume all Christians love thy neighbor as themselves. Just not reality.
👏👏
@@katryntjiexx Yes this! This is what many people don't get, from my experience. Feminism also focuses on the patriarchy, which is mostly a system that has put us in these roles and has distorted our views about gender and sex.
Joey Bekker you are right, the real feminism stands for equality between genders. Neo-feminism stands for elimination of men in society, creating division between genders with hatred
Wow 🤩 This is what information is missing hugely right now. I hope anyone who hears it will share it, because human connection is becoming endangered. It’s mostly from jumping to incorrect conclusions or passing judgment without understanding. I’m back in school for my BA in psychology, and you are officially my main person who I admire and respect and want to help like you are.❤ Thank you for being here!!!
Like any ideology, conservatism is misinformation. Gender roles have always benefited women and came at the expense of men's energy and health. There is no point in providing for a woman when she not only can work, but has affirmative action and makes up 60% of college graduates.
Truthfully, as a 40 year old woman, Im done searching and asking a man to be a man. You can be open, honest, helpful and passionate, and never find a man that can appreciate. So many have become beta. If loneliness kills, Im looking forward to that. My grandmother was right, they really aren't worth the trouble. But great vid as always, Teal!
Could it be that limiting belief (most men are not worth the trouble) has you subtly undermining you without you even noticing? No shade....just a thought.
@@LevityBrevity there could be some truth to your comment, but some women really have tried everything. I've dated fat, skinny, good looking, average, outgoing, reclusive, intelligent, dull, jovial and serious - doesn't matter. All end up in the same heap. I'm good now. No more worries, no more bells to answer or eggs to fry...
LOLLLLLL have fun with your cats
@@gregorygimigliano better a cat mom than a maid/butler/cook/appointment maker/nursemaid/gopher. Pfft
That is that way you want it anyway.
i came here for
Better Bachelor
She even used his “Shocking” line, albeit not as drawn out the way he does.
@@Acid_Ink I think she watches Better Bachelor on a regular basis !
I think Teal is right about guys who do the pump and dump or nut and bolt (basically PUAs). They're traumatized in a way that they need to be in a dominant role. These guys derive their self-worth from the number of women they have sex with. Not healthy for a guy really.
@Ahmed B I have been thinking about this for the last few days. I hear that men want a high sex count beacuse they believe that women think that is attractive, which it isn't. It just depends on that person. I have yet to hear from men or women that said their current partner told them how many people they slept with was hot.
Most people men and women will judge their partner negatively if they have a high count, this is from hear from friends, though.
@@medviation men usually do the bag and drag because they've come to the conclusion that ultimately, relationships will end the same way and is not worth giving it a go.
Just look at how hard they fall when a woman eventually gets through to them.
How deep has mankind fallen that something like this needs to be said.
Most of the comments are women making excuses to not take action towards their lives and the rest are conservative men who did nothing valuable with their lives and rely on these types of videos to comfort themselves.
This is complete nonsense.
@@angieweathers7180 J.C..... just stop bombarding the comment section with the same comment over and over again. Have a nice day, by the way.
ua-cam.com/video/f69iPUZdZxI/v-deo.html
Disagree. The thing that made rships last back in the day was due to lack of options/mobility for 50% of the partnership. Not some superior knowledge.
Thisss
I was raised to be independent and strong, among other things. Now I'm 37 and trying to figure out my feminity. I met the man of my dreams three years ago, and almost ruined it because I didn't understand the very concepts Teal is breaking down. I'm having to, and want to, NEED TO, learn...not to mention how I recognize my ways in my daughter...I love content like this, it is life changing. Thank you to everyone involved.
I hate that being straightforward (especially when it comes to voicing your wants and needs) can be seen as needy or rude or "you talk too much" or anything - even for some men, lets be real - but i try to be. Being passive agressive or indirect is just tiring, and the more they dont respond to it (either bc they dont notice it or bc they choose to pretend they arent aware), more trapping it feels. It creates resentment. I try to practice this and not assuming things, just asking whenever there's space for it.
Also i feel like we need to address that is not like women woke up one day and decided to take the world on their shoulders. Sadly the masculine energy has been distorted for centuries, and a lot of it was done by men themselves. I hope that we reach to a point of full balance soon, but i feel like this whole wave of women wanting to do and be everything and detaching from men etc was/is necessary to make this happen. We need to feel that men deserve a space in our lives, not that they are owed one and are in charge of it just because they are men. Also that whatever role they're gonna feel, they're gonna do it with respect of our boundaries and feelings and wants and needs, which sadly doesnt happen in many times.
Masculine energy has been distorted for centuries? What got distorted and why did you pick it happening several hundred years ago?If you are attracting men like the ones you are describing there is a common denominator there on one side of the equation. Ask yourself why you are attracted to those kinds of men or are responding to those kinds of men when they approach you.
@@kennygoodman4194 attracting or not implicate that that type of men exist, being each one in his:her independent reality doesn't mean that other humanbeing doesn not exist or are not suffering so you have to be compassionate. What men need to do is to level up. Also it would get so much easier if good men hold asshole men accountable not just defend them or act like they don't exist just to not cause themselves problems.
Did you leave this bondage?
Men are in charge of their world.
Amazing! As a male human you have stated my emotions better than i could. I have shared many of these thoughts myself but as a male it is perceived as an attempt to control.
Or just gets you perceived as weak, aka more dry vaginas. Not that many ever admit it
Oh thank god you said Human, I thought you were a Horse for sure..😂😂
@la ba lol you perceive anything vaguely negative as hate. Where is it? Why don't you refute what I said if you know better? Is it because theres truth (read: hate) in it?
Where did empowerment even come into this? Have you looked out the window lately? You are empowered, more men and women are miserable and defunct in the relationship department, romance is in fading embers.
The issue is a so called empowered woman then requires an equally or more empowered man.
Show me the career girl who settles down happily with the man working at Walmart.
One thing society needs to change in the minds of women is, being a "good girl" _IS_ speaking directly in a loving and respectful way. This goes a looong way in a relationship, any relationship actually. We, both men and women, have internalized some horrible and just plain wrong messages.
I am a single father of 2 kids. I hope women have better understanding about men after watching this video. Thank you Teal ❤
I assure you there are many women who 100% agree with Teal and have known this for years. 👍
I’m that independent, strong, “I got it” girl who married a man-child. 🤦♀️
Yup
@@njkok Same. I'd rather be single all my life.
Sucks to suck
Me too lol
When men don’t do anything, then do you do it or live in a trash can. No thank you. I can do it myself and know that it is done. If not, aren’t we called a nag. They can sit in their egos.
"Your spouse will be a child as well." #DEAD
That explains why I have a half older brother, half older sister.. and I'm the only child of my mother and father's current marriage.. My mom is SUPER independent and critical.. and she previously got with my sister's dead beat dad that made her clean the house and pay the bills.. and my brother's dad who cheated on her with multiple women.. My dad (her current spouse) is super nice and has a high vibration.. but at times he can be a doormat and just lets her do what she wants. He sometimes complains about my mom not taking him seriously.. Toxic feminism can turn out to be a SERIOUS mess when there is no balance in a relationship...
(I'm saying this to inform people of how important balance is and to respect the position of the opposite sex, and to respect yourself to attract the same kind of respect.. but not putting your sex on a pedestal.)
@@nikkinorman4254 for a ballanced man his home is a sanctuary, not a dojo.
Forbiding arguments at home or "ritualizing" them (ie argumenting while taking a walk) can helps communicating.
She's right tho
@@nikkinorman4254sounds like you're blaming your mother's first two baby-daddies for being deadbeats, but failing to blame your mother for choosing them as the fathers of your half-siblings to begin with.
It takes two to tango, so while I agree 100% that they were deadbeats, where was her accountability when she was spreading her legs for those deadbeats? Women have all the authority when it comes to reproductive rights, so they bear all the responsibility to not let crappy men into their bodies in the first place.
As for your father, sounds like you're mother is the "user/abuser" in that relationship, but now your father's not happy but would have to chop his leg off to get away from her because legal system is so biased against men...which Teal alluded to right in this video.
She's one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.
What a piece of content, just blown away! Thank you so much for such needed information
I am the 'i got it' kinda woman. Very independent not anti men or faking it, this is actually my personality. I'm very dude like in my thinking/actions. This is why i can't give a man what he needs. I realised this a while ago but i also don't have a problem with being single so🤷♀️
There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are happy. You will find someone that will apreciate you exactly like you are. I think the message here is for some women that feel that they have to be independent to be valueable or something, and that presure is causing everyone pain.
@sheva noorda I reasonate with what youre saying (im an aquarius girl born on a Tuesday with lots of mars energy, if that makes any sense to you)... I just felt inspired to share my own story to this topic. And when I write, I always feel like reflecting at the same time. :) i feel super boyish, I was always a little bossy and its easy for me to take the leader role, I loved to be around boys and talk like them and play like them and train like them, that gives me confidence. There is nothing wrong with that and I think it is genuinely appreciated by a lot of guys, however at the same time I did discover the last years through all the difficulties in my relationships and also certain issues, that I became aware of in therapy and while studying feminine and masculine energy, that I have just never had a chance, nor a good example to develop and connect to my feminine energy inside of me. I started noticing that due to issues in my relationships with men, other women or even my mum. I have always felt very 'anti' female things and admired big time everything usually considered masculine (leadership, intelectuality, decision making, providing, being very strong, doing everything myself, not liking it to ask for help). I understood that I was not giving myself space to connect with my emotions/intuition, nor vulnerability or playfulness, needing to be strong all the time (until I burned out on all levels). This need to be strong and independent probably relates to my childhood too, probably a coping mechanism as my intelectual side was always super valued, but my emotions or dispair not ever understood. I now understand that being anti feminine is basically resisting to parts of myself, because in the end, I am a woman and I love being one as well (I always appreciated my easthetics as a woman, just never felt I could relate to other womens behaviour or interests). So now I'm on a journey discovering that part in me, in order to honour it and find the power in that so I can be truly and fully me, a girl well connected to both of her masculine and feminine energy in order to benefit from both. I think its about softening parts in me, that are pretty 'tough' and might not always be. I figured that no guy felt like protecting me, when I was actually vulnerable, coz to the outside I never gave the impression i needed any protection (even though I deeply longed for it sometimes...)... all of this is super interesting. 😊😊😊😊 lets see where my discovery goes ... I think as we authentically evolve we will always find more parts to ourselves which we didnt even know existed, which open many many new doors. 😊 thank you for reading, if you got until here. This feels like diary writing. I know you will find your mate when you are ready and until then congrats on enjoying your single life 😊
@maddie moohl you're starting to live in your truth instead of denying and suppressing yourself good for you! I'm actually at that point in my life to and i bever felt more like myself and free and happy before. It's almost like holding you're breath you're entire life and now just started to breath it's awesome
@sheva noorda :) yes I feel like its such a relief to finally start showing up for all of me and live more authentically, but not just out of automatic trauma response, but out of understanding and listening more to whats actually going on. 😊😊 I am very happy that you are at that moment too!!!!
It's not dude like to not want to be submissive. Let's stop perpetuating this nonsense gender stereotypes. Being independent is great and what women are capable of doing and should do. I'm also single because i don't want to be under anyone's leadership. If we ain't gonna be equal in value and decisions in the relationship,respecting and loving eachother then im not interested.
Yes, men need to feel needed, appreciated and respected. In fact, telling them you respect and appreciate them and giving them things to do for you, chores, tasks, errands really helps them feel loved and love you. I learned this years ago and through experience.
I am independent and still need men in my life. My partner needs to feel needed by me.
He loves to run errands for me and with me, loves opening doors for me, etc. He loves providing for me.
We don't live together and don't see each other enough due to his work and living 45 min away from one another. I like my time alone at home. So, it works well in some ways.
Self-serving claptrap. Narc.
Time alone at home to smash other guys behind his back?😂
The universe will match you with who you're looking for as long as you are in alignment with yourself, any place within your life is already there for him and its not up to you to fit him in there, he will fit based on who and what you are and what you are vibrating.
That is sooo true! I really appreciate your insight
A word.
Well geez that's fuckin easy ain't it. I'll be back when I have my 6 figures, on the other hand >.>
There's only one way to say this.
You are wrong.
The universe will not match you with anyone... It's not like sitting around meditating is eventually going to cause your perfect girlfriend to spawn from the heavens and fall right into your lap... That isn't how the universe operates, hippie.
@@MyouKyuubi I think its more like youre gunna be matched up with people who are on your vibe.Whether your meditating, or a player, or someone who wants committed relationship or whatever. If you're doing the work, showing up to be authentic, youll meet other folks on that wavelength too.
I am always upfront and honest about what I need and still my needs aren't met. I guess that means that either we are incompatible or he doesn't care about me. Lesson learned. Thank you Teal. Xx
So true.
My wife has told me that she has told me what she needs/wants. But the problem is that it always happens at a time or when I am in a state where I can't remember. I don't want to forget. But I do, adding in ptsd and adhd just makes it that much more difficult. Men also see the wild mixed signals that are sent. I have initiated intimacy when she asked for it and how she asked for it and had her respond as though I was trying to rape her. It didn't make sense to either of us. Women tend to be this flowing wave of beautiful energy, but when you have to surf that wave you can't trust that it will also be this exact wave in this spot.
My wife always draws two pretty dismal conclusions which is some sort of version of I don't care. I can't speak for your partner, but I have a hard time keeping up with the ever changing nature of the feminine. I have learned to sit in the chaos of her being instead of running away. But that is effing hard to do.
It is your nature to push him away to have him show up powerfully. It is his nature to show up powerful... except that especially for gen x men, we have all been beaten and abused for the crimes of our fathers and grandfathers. We carry their sins with us cause we saw how bad they were. And we actually chose to rebel and stop that behavior. But instead of being celebrated. We are beaten down and yeah, we become passive.
If it is important to you that your needs are met, then telling him once or twice is really setting him up for failure. Write it down. Because you might think you are communicating clearly but he is picking up on the ten emotional states you are also communicating and now he has to figure out what is true now, later today and mostly always.
It is worthwhile but don't imagine it's easy for men to be with feminine energy. And probably vice versa. And most of us don't have good role models.
Well, something to consider is self understanding. Another alternative to incompatibility and not caring is demoralization..
For example, if I am responsive literally to the requests.. and am told that it doesn't count because I should have known.. the messages I actually get is, you don't know what you want, I can't trust you.. and trying is worse than doing nothing... instead of feeling good, I feel useless and unappreciated
You gotta pay attention to how you’re expressing your needs. Women have a huge tendency to nagging n complaining unfortunately
What great insightful replies to this lady's comment....well done guys....super helpful!
I couldn't agree more, god damn it. You perfectly echoed all my recently developed philosophies with startling accuracy.
I absolutely love having a man take care of me and provide for me. I like having the door opened for me and feeling protected. My heart goes out to the women who are scared to experience this. It makes us feel good, and it makes men feel good too! ❤
Well, I think men would feel good too, if they got positive attention from women without risking their lives protecting women or at least have woman protect them in return.
Sounds like a bad deal to do all this for positive affection.
@@captainfuture2882 - I'm aware there's a lot of resentment between the sexes, but I think it's a little hyperbolic to just assume that all women, or perhaps if I'm to interpret your statement figuratively, most women will ONLY dispense affection if a man is literally risking his life.
Most men and women aren't as extreme as the vocally wounded make them out to be. I know this because I too have a tendency to exaggerate my painful experiences with men, when I know that most men are not disgusting pigs who will cheat on me.
Most women are happy to be affectionate for conditions that are not as extreme as life-risking.
For myself, I'm obnoxiously affectionate regardless of the circumstances, haha.
@@briannab4770 The thing today is as a man,i feel women only care about what can i do for them or my social status (you said provide me) and it leaves a feeling that women don't care who you are but only what can you provide to them.It's my nature to provide to a woman in a healthy relationship,but when she feels entitled to it,i not only feel she is not looking at me ,i also just can't do it.
I initially read " I absolutely love hating a man take care of me ... " which is what those Lefties always sort of say ;-)
@@afojgel - Men love to provide for a woman who loves him, but as with anyone, they abhor being *obligated* to do anything.
In a healthy relationship, both people are recognized for their intrinsic value, and are celebrated for their being more than just their doing.
If you find yourself in relationships with women who make you feel like nothing more than a productive commodity, I'd urge you to instead seek a woman who makes you feel celebrated, valued and loved. Not just systematically rewarded for completing tasks.
- Sending love. ❤
This is really such a helpful perspective. I actually crave divine masculine energy. I hope I learn to be more in my feminine energy to help facilitate that safe place for them too. They need that so much. I wish everyone healing.
Women are going through an important phase of their evolution and speakers like Teal are very important messengers in that journey.
Faisal Rafique agreed
Ewww Eeww Women are going through an important phase of their evolution and speakers like Teal are very important messengers in that journey.
This "evolution" won't stay for more a generation. If everybody has his epiphany too late in life they won't be able to pass their traits to the next generation.
It's like becoming the perfect sterile organism. Useless.
Koozomec is that an Undead Chronic reference?
@@hopefullyanonymous3466 Hi, nope.
Long time i didn't check his channel either.
Amazing, thank you for the clarity I needed. It's the incompatibility I've been ignoring that ultimately becomes the final straw. I hear you and will rewatch this again.
Missing from the conversation is that fact that men and women BOTH have masculine and feminine aspects, and each person expresses them differently. We need to build a space where both men and women can fully embrace their masculinity and femininity, even if most cis-heterosexual relationships take on a “Yin/Yang” character, where the feminine within the masculine and the masculine with the feminine are only a part of the larger half. It’s still an inextricable part. Men don’t need to become women or vice versa but their masculine/feminine each need to be in balance in order to have a healthy, fully realized relationship. In so many contexts, both men and women are playing caricatures of what men and women are “supposed” to be.
This is the only comment here that I can agree with.
💯💯💯💯💯💯spot on
Put the blame on women. As usual.
But they are balanced. Let them be happy in their masculine. Let a woman like me be happy in our feminine. We really are balanced.
You read the Tao of Dating didn’t you???? 😁
That straightforward advice is soooooooooooooooooo true. Ladies, just say what do you want instead of playing games.
@Wren Linnet fr!!
@Wren Linnet right! Responsibility is with both parties and all genders. But this video opened my eyes to a lot I didn't see before. So thankful
it's mind game, they can manipulate this way more effective
@Wren Linnet The problem you use that on good men since women are attracted to bad boys with no future. That's the difference
guys should start doing that
I agree with everything she said about how to manage a relationship dynamics. And how it's ok to show your man how he can fill a role in your life.
But I disagree a bit about the women who usually fulfill the manipulation role and men who would appreciate the straightforward behavior part, in my experience men who are traumatised do not sometimes understand the straight forward behavior of women and they would instead rather gravitate towards those who manipulate them instead. It's sad when people are so messed up that they don't understand or appreciate if someone's straightforward with them.
And I personally try to be straightforward most times.
All am saying is that men can be manipulative and women can be straightforward naturally, depending on their upbringing and also the masculine and feminine energies they have. We have both masculine and feminine energies and hence such tendencies in us.
Exactly
15:35 THIS! That’s it. That’s all. “Actually make sure that whoever you are with is actually compatible to you. In that who he is and the things he naturally does actually DO fulfill an important role and purpose in your life.”
As a woman this is absolutely mind blowing to hear. 👏 Thank you I now see men and women in a different light. I also watched your other video what every man needs to know about a woman which was also mind blowing. 👏
This is actually the most accurate discription of what men think and want!
I’m surprised why she is not have million subscribers yet!
Keep the useful work to delevere the reality picture of the world!
Rile of two... you just display that you don't have abilities to accept.
Aslan, Don't pay attention to this bully who doesn't like it that he craves love because the current climate makes it harder for us to be compatible.
It's difficult for each sex to not listen to the strong narratives.
The one thing we all have in common is we want to feel love.
We have to show love to get love.
Don't feel swayed by this bully he's just a product of the backwards and sideways narratives we all experience. Which, are really constructed to sell us stuff to make other people and big companies rich.
If we all could realize this we'd get along much better and genuinely feel more fulfilled. 💚
She does now
Teal...... MAny thanks....... you represent the powerful, the woman and the strength that facilitates many levels of growth!
As for the comment on why she hasn’t seen the number of subscribers might just reflect the numbers of people who still know fear and resentment in facing such powerful qualities of growth. Women... please open to consider and appreciate what this woman has the courage to speak about..... fore she actually embodies a powerful feminine capacity and is teaching some very much needed growth potential..........
Ok i can see why she has people trying to discredit her..she speaks common sense..
Haha yup precisely.
It makes me so sad.. because my husband is not in his healthy masculinity. He pushed me to find a job, which I did, and now I am the provider. And he always says that I should first ask to help me, not just wait that he would help me with something.. so I already forgot about how the man's initiative looks like. Let me help you! Let me open a door for you. But from my side I still cook, look after children (we have 4 kids) and try to give him as much attention as possible, hoping that it would boost his confidence and he will find the job. But from his part he won't even buy me flowers for my birthday, saying that he is doing it on purpose, because I am being so egoistically demanding and pushing.. I mean yes maybe I am already starving for attention, and not sexual affection and containment. I just don't know what to do.. really.. I am so lost
That is sad. I am sorry. A healthy man does not push the woman to behave as a man. He wants his woman to be a woman in all ways and let him be the provider and protector. Are you really lost or have you been intentionally confused by a mentally unhealthy man who does not want to take responsibility for himself, his woman, and his children?
i dont feel men and women are equal either, but not better or worse.
We should be mutually RESPECTED. We all have different talents
they are equal in different measures, and when together in harmony, are a perfect balanced energy
@@sweetbunny6198 Life is faced with the dual challenges of survival and reproduction, and the solution was to have a sex optimized for each of those two. Either accept that we are all codependent or accept failing at the game of life.
Given that nature went through the considerable trouble of making two sexes, we can safely assume that women are better at being women and men are better at being men. At
least with respect to what those roles meant in the stoneage where evolution occured.
@@virtual-viking "the solution was to have a sex optimized for each of those two" Women aren't optimized for either. -Women are far more important then men from a reproductive standpoint because they can only give birth to usually one baby per year. Whereas men can impregnate a bunch of women each day. Greed even if biological (unintentional) isn't considered optimal in our world.
-Men are far more important than women from a civilization standpoint (civilization = context for survival). They build, maintain, discover and invent almost everything. Yes they are dependent on women for reproduction but that doesn't make them equal to women.
Not viewing women as equal isn't hating them or mistreating them. Pets, children etc. are unequal to adult men and we love them and treat them better than humans in many cases.
@Damaraju Shailaja "I see men and women having different capabilities" Please do elaborate. I am curious especially about the female ones.
"None is more or less than another" I see. The *men and women are equal but different* fallacy.
"Men and women are not meant to compete" But they do. That's what the west is all about. Women making sure they defeat men. They started doing so since they earned the vote (51% political power) without signing for the draft. In 1965 white women hijacked affirmative action (meant to help blacks) in order to compete with white men.
"collaboration happens betweens equals" Except women and men are not equal. Not even one individual is equal to another, let alone different genders.
"Men need women as much as women need men" Demonstrably false. All civilizations were build by men. The old west was built by men. No women required. Men need women fort reproduction only. Women on the other hand are done for without men.
"we define ourselves as equals.." Doesn't make you equals. I can define an ISIS member as the King of Virtue. Doesn't make him one.
"To summarise, men and women are equals but different." HAHAHAHA *The cognitive dissonance lol.*
Damn. We need this video on every screen
thirsty hearts finds source them self,
I love your job Why Do You Need Women?
*Damn. This woman needs to lose weight.*
@@bombislamdotcom I have a strong feeling that you are watching the wrong video. In fact I'm not sure that you are actually watching it.
Don't need them at all really, in fact life gets easier without them in it.
@@Twisted86 And how do you achieve life without women? You plan moving on Mars? cause on this planet you will be bumping into them either way, you don't actually need a wife or a girlfriend, but maybe a co-worker or a sister. Even if you lock yourself and work from home for the rest of your life, your biology alone still dictates your need for the opposite sex. And even if society's so-called correctness is dividing and conquering us in so many ways, unless we are psychopaths (which I am sure most of us are not) we are still better together.
ok... First off I must apologize. I did not expect this level of truth and intensity. I expected witter banter and sarcasm as there is always some emotional interjection from the female perspective. You are the FIRST woman to have stated this succinctly, correctly, and proficiently. I listened to every. single. word, and you have done a masterful job. Well done. I will use this video as a teaching aid in the future. I have spoken at length on the pendulum effect of feminism and many other problems such as racism and it's current pendulum effect. Many older women do not understand the enormous damage this phenomenon has caused. Extremely wealthy and power hungry men also noticed this effect and made sure that feminism continued to snowball out of control in an effort to effect global change. By destroying the family core unit to be replaced and subjugated by a false one of their creation to allow their power to remain unchecked or challenged permanently and forever alter the course of human being history into perpetual dark energy loops. The current state of society is NOT natural. The side effects of the pendulum have been exacerbated exponentially to cause maximum damage. This is part of what my dark night of the soul was for. My purpose as an indigo in this life is to go after those causes (heal them, stop them) so that the effects subside and fall back into balance. Thank you again.
Pussy.